1 00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:09,140 So we're going to move into writing introductions. 2 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:14,780 And we're going to get into the construction and analysis of writing and introduction. 3 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:21,840 So with academic test number one, what must you do to write a proper introduction? 4 00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:26,880 We're going to touch on that very briefly, and then we're going to write an introduction together for 5 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,350 the graph that's presented. 6 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,920 It will be written under under time condition. 7 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,210 So there will be a clock. 8 00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:39,950 And then I'm going to look at some of these student examples of the introduction and also that you see 9 00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:42,230 my examples of the introduction. 10 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:49,200 As I say in the very beginning, I'm going to just pick and choose some introductions to look at. 11 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:51,460 This is a group class. 12 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:55,050 We're not going to be able to look at 60 different introductions. 13 00:00:55,530 --> 00:01:01,170 The purpose is for us to learn together as a group, learn from each other, learn from the examples 14 00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:02,100 that I give. 15 00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:09,460 Here are some tips when it comes to doing an introduction. 16 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:15,480 You're going to be when you write the introduction, you're going to describe what you see. 17 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:23,410 From their written description and the information that's on the actual graph, they always give you 18 00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:26,200 their own small written description of the graph. 19 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,090 They always give you that. 20 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,790 They give you their their their description. 21 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,530 You can't copy that. 22 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:38,400 You can't copy that if you're copying their description. 23 00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:41,550 You are showing zero writing talent. 24 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:43,360 Right. 25 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,240 You're showing zero writing talent when you copy. 26 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:48,270 Okay. 27 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:53,450 And the way you get a really good score is by use, paraphrasing and using synonyms. 28 00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:55,340 Don't describe information. 29 00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:56,720 It doesn't mean anything. 30 00:01:57,380 --> 00:02:02,360 Like don't say things like on the graph the black star represents China. 31 00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:06,770 The red the red square represents the United States. 32 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,960 Don't, don't, don't say irrelevant. 33 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,820 The irrelevant silly stuff. 34 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:17,070 Make sure, as I just said, that you paraphrasing you synonyms for that language. 35 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,140 You do that, you increase your score. 36 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,430 And don't forget to include the key words in your introduction. 37 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:30,150 If they're measuring it in billions, then make sure you include that in your. 38 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,190 Include that in your graph or chart. 39 00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:38,870 If there are six countries on the graph or chart, then of course you're going to say there are six 40 00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:39,230 countries. 41 00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:41,210 So don't forget the keywords. 42 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,050 The keywords are very, very important to use. 43 00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:47,390 Very, very important to use. 44 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:48,350 Okay. 45 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:57,230 So now we're going to go ahead and write an introduction for this bar chart that you see on the left 46 00:02:57,230 --> 00:02:58,280 hand side. 47 00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:02,630 We're going to write an introduction for this bar chart you see on the left hand side. 48 00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:06,290 Now you have 3 minutes. 49 00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,720 I'm going to give you 3 minutes to write the introduction. 50 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,160 It's probably too much time. 51 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,760 But I'm going to I'm going to give you 3 minutes to write the introduction. 52 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,900 Type your introduction directly in the chat box. 53 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:25,920 At the end of the 3 minutes, I will look at some of the introductions so we can learn from those examples. 54 00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:32,250 Okay, so right now, if you want to some people want to, you can type your introduction right now 55 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,540 in the chat box. 56 00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:39,200 And I actually I'm giving you 3 minutes because I'm giving you a minute to look at it and then 2 minutes 57 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:39,830 to write. 58 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,110 Okay. 59 00:03:41,110 --> 00:03:45,490 So go ahead and write your introduction now and then I'll pull out some examples. 60 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,360 Okay. 61 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:07,040 All right. 62 00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:08,240 Time is up. 63 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:14,480 We're going to go ahead and pause for a moment and I'm going to pull out some of the introductions to 64 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,290 look at. 65 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:18,690 So we're going to pause for one moment, everybody. 66 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:32,660 Okay. 67 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,720 So let's go ahead and look at some of these student examples. 68 00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:44,060 I've pulled out some examples because I think with a lot of these examples, you can see some of you 69 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,530 can see the difference. 70 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:50,420 Between something that is adequately described. 71 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,090 Sufficiently described and fully described. 72 00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:56,580 Right. 73 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:02,760 So this first one that says the bar chart shows Southland's main transport. 74 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:07,800 In 2000, upcoming projections for 2025. 75 00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:12,540 So this is an example of something that is just adequate. 76 00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:13,890 Right. 77 00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:16,410 This is like five or six range stuff. 78 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:20,460 And the reason why for a couple of reasons. 79 00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:21,990 It doesn't capture. 80 00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:25,890 It doesn't capture all of the keywords or key points on the graph. 81 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:33,000 It has word form problems because transport is not is not a synonym for export. 82 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,800 Is only talking about two years, 2020 25. 83 00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,860 We have three years, we have 2000. 84 00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:48,730 We have 2020 because it tells us right there the star 24 test purposes. 85 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,400 You refer to the current year that you're in. 86 00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:55,180 So that's 2020 and we have 2025. 87 00:08:57,130 --> 00:09:02,530 Now, this next one, again, is doesn't capture the year. 88 00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:03,910 So it's not complete. 89 00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:08,140 It just says exports, but it doesn't tell us how many exports. 90 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,030 Has a capitalization mistake. 91 00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:12,200 These are kind of things. 92 00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:16,460 These are the kind of things that keep us going down. 93 00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,050 This is a graph. 94 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,810 Next one, this is the graph showing the key export items. 95 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:27,230 It's happening for the years 20, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20 and 2050. 96 00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:28,460 Right. 97 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,180 This is okay. 98 00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,880 But again, it doesn't tell us how many export items. 99 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,880 It doesn't tell us that as measured in how much money. 100 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:36,780 Okay. 101 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:46,550 He uses the word expected projection to have been nice if he could have used a synonym or she could 102 00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:47,690 have used a synonym. 103 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:56,690 The export compares to Southland's major exports in this year along with the last two decades. 104 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:57,980 Well, that's not accurate. 105 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:05,930 So when you don't have accurate information late along with the last two decades. 106 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:14,460 And the predictions for the next five years for yeah, this is this is what you call writing that is 107 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:20,370 confusing because I've had to read this sentence twice to try to understand what it's talking about. 108 00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:24,620 Each bar is represented in billion euro. 109 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:27,270 There are several key features that are set out below. 110 00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:28,500 All right. 111 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:33,690 So this person has a lot of the information but is just not well structured. 112 00:10:38,410 --> 00:10:39,430 A few more examples. 113 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:44,080 The provided bar chart illustrates the exports of international tourism, dairy products and meat products 114 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,660 of Southland over three time periods. 115 00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:48,760 Now, this one is pretty good right here. 116 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:50,730 Right. 117 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,740 This one this one actually is pretty good. 118 00:10:55,850 --> 00:11:01,130 The only the only thing I would say that's missing from this first one right here is in terms of what 119 00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:03,470 are we measuring it in terms of billions. 120 00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,480 But that's an introduction right there. 121 00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:07,080 Right. 122 00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:14,880 Having more words, having a lot of extra words makes writing to be more complicated, more difficult 123 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:15,810 to understand. 124 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,540 As given in bar chart. 125 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,920 It is shown that three. 126 00:11:20,950 --> 00:11:21,730 Well, this one. 127 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:24,070 This one right here is full of grammar mistakes. 128 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,870 So that that right there drops it down to a five or six. 129 00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,980 You don't three products. 130 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:34,460 You would write the word lucky, right? 131 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:34,630 Right. 132 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:38,880 You can have three, three products in this. 133 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:42,040 In this one sentence there, they're like six grammar mistakes. 134 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:48,640 Is not from year 2002, 2020, 2025 is not? 135 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,570 It's not that. 136 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:57,370 When you say from 2002 to 2025, that's talking about 2000, 2001, 2000 to 2003, 2004. 137 00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:00,970 That's not accurate. 138 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:07,420 So everybody, when you're writing and that's why I said we're doing this together to to learn. 139 00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:11,650 When you're writing, accuracy is very important. 140 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,390 Fully describing is very, very important. 141 00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:25,790 As we can see the line again accuracy is not a line graph above illustrates the Southland main export 142 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,270 how many exports. 143 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:32,010 And again is not 2000 through to 2025. 144 00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:39,870 So a lot of times you may think that you're doing like really great. 145 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:43,250 In terms of your introductions. 146 00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:52,070 But what I'm trying to show you is in terms of the all the mistakes that can happen within the introduction. 147 00:12:53,700 --> 00:13:00,450 And when you're making those kind of mistakes, this is the reason why your score is stuck below a 6.5. 148 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,880 This is the reason why. 149 00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:05,170 Right. 150 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:12,110 You have to have clean writing, coherent writing, understandable writing, mistake free sentences. 151 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,330 That's what you have to be able to do. 152 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,860 And that's why clock pressure is so important. 153 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,400 That's why that clock pressure is so important. 154 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:28,260 For a lot of you guys have submitted things after the clock. 155 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:29,710 Right. 156 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:34,150 You, you, you, you have you're submitting things after the clock. 157 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,700 And people are asking me about what band score. 158 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,980 You can't give a band score to an introduction. 159 00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:40,540 Okay. 160 00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,480 Your band scores. 161 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,170 You have to look at complete writing. 162 00:13:45,010 --> 00:13:45,340 I'm not. 163 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:46,780 I'm not scoring introduction. 164 00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:49,180 You all have heard me describe things. 165 00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,820 And like I said, I'm not going to be able to pull out every single one. 166 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,620 Some of the other ones that you guys have shown me look pretty good. 167 00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:03,480 But you should be able you should have been able to learn from the examples that I gave in terms of 168 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,030 what really needs to go in a really good introduction. 169 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:15,450 Okay. 170 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:16,590 All right. 171 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:24,660 So let's go ahead and take a look at my examples and then we're going to move on to the general overview. 172 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:30,390 All right. 173 00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:33,720 So here you can see I've given two examples. 174 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,990 Doing an introduction. 175 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:43,090 The following bar chart report presents statistics regarding Scotland's international tourism, dairy, 176 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:51,940 product and meat products exports calculated in billions of pounds for three specific years 2000, 2020 177 00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:54,220 and 2025 estimations. 178 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,640 That is an introduction. 179 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:03,490 That introduction captures all of the information, all of the key words. 180 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:05,830 Another example. 181 00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:07,030 Example number two. 182 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:12,670 This bar chart report will analyze Southland's primary exports. 183 00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:20,200 International tourism, dairy products and meat products measured in billions of pounds in 2000 2020 184 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,870 and forecasting for 2025. 185 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:30,880 One thing I want you to notice in my writing, you don't see any weak verbs, right? 186 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:32,580 You don't see any weak verbs. 187 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:37,780 That's the difference between people that are getting eighth and ninth and people that are getting six 188 00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:38,980 and six point fives. 189 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,540 There's no is. 190 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,670 There's no was. 191 00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:43,840 There's no word. 192 00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:44,890 There's no hass. 193 00:15:44,890 --> 00:15:45,970 There's no half. 194 00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:47,920 There's no having. 195 00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:49,000 Right. 196 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,670 There's no b, no weak verbs. 197 00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:53,840 Presents. 198 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:54,740 Right. 199 00:15:54,740 --> 00:16:01,400 And also when I talk about synonyms, the word presents is a synonym for gives. 200 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,570 Statistics is a synonym for information. 201 00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:15,140 Regarding is a synonym for about estimations is a synonym for projections. 202 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,940 We've added in that we're doing calculations and billions. 203 00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:28,090 We've also added in the three exports we see the same thing in example number to analyze. 204 00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:32,140 Primary exports of international. 205 00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:38,680 Again, we're we're using we're using synonyms primary is a synonym for main. 206 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,440 Forecasting is a synonym for projections. 207 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:56,030 So when you're talking about when you're talking about strong writing is not when you're talking about 208 00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,590 getting higher scores. 209 00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:05,090 It's more about how you say something than really what you say sometimes. 210 00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,850 That's why I'm trying to show you. 211 00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:11,210 Somebody can write a perfect sentence. 212 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:18,670 But if its basic level of vocabulary and you're not using synonyms and paraphrasing, that might be 213 00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:19,660 why you're not moving up. 214 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,340 Moving up the chart. 215 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,170 That might be why you're not moving up. 216 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:32,220 But hopefully you can look at my two examples of an introduction and have a better understanding of 217 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:33,570 what you should be doing. 218 00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:45,310 Stocksy. 219 00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:47,920 Can I use basic instead of main? 220 00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:49,900 No. 221 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:53,320 Basic, basic and main are not synonyms. 222 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,430 Basic the primary. 223 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:00,670 Primary is a synonym for main. 224 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,090 Predominant is a synonym for Main. 225 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:11,100 Top is a synonym for main, but basic is not a synonym for main. 226 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:13,060 Again. 227 00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:14,410 That's what we're getting into. 228 00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:15,160 Word choice. 229 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:19,480 When you make word choice errors, that hurts your score. 230 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:26,300 If you're right, if you'd rather wrote the word basic, the examiner is going to look at that in. 231 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,530 The examiner is going to say, well, he doesn't know. 232 00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:31,730 He doesn't know a synonym, a proper synonym for the word main. 233 00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:44,760 Melody, melodies and melody. 234 00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:52,170 I said your name, right, sir, is a linker word or a sentence necessary in the first paragraph to 235 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:53,640 connect it with the next person? 236 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,140 No. 237 00:18:56,690 --> 00:18:57,020 No. 238 00:18:57,020 --> 00:19:01,310 I mean, in the first sentence, I'm telling you that I'm going to do a report. 239 00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:04,060 Right. 240 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,080 So. 241 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:05,580 No, no, no, no. 242 00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:11,800 You wouldn't have you wouldn't have any kind of transition sentence to the next paragraph with the introduction. 243 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:13,550 Okay. 244 00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:15,470 That's that's not necessary. 245 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,350 That's not necessary. 246 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:26,840 And the examiner the examiner already knows to expect that following this introduction, you're going 247 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:33,770 to have a general overview, because when you're talking about writing, when you're talking about writing, 248 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,920 writing is an upside down pyramid. 249 00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:40,050 Writing is an inverted pyramid, right? 250 00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:44,030 If you look at a pyramid, a pyramid has a point at the top. 251 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,000 Take the pyramid, turn it upside down. 252 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,550 That's what writing is it. 253 00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:51,530 Introduction is the wide base. 254 00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:58,540 Then it narrows down a little bit more into a general overview, then it narrows down even more into 255 00:19:58,540 --> 00:19:59,980 specific comparisons.