1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,268
♪ men. ♪
2
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,470
Thanks for coming in, guys.
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,405
It's always
a pleasure seeing you.
4
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,173
I mean, she's so pretty.
You're so pretty.
5
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,410
You know anyone
we can set her up with?
6
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,545
I appreciate the thought,
but I am perfectly happy
7
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,681
With my... Cats.
8
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,750
Anyway...
9
00:00:17,752 --> 00:00:20,152
How would you guys feel
about adopting an older child?
10
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,488
Wow. Like, how old
are we talking?
11
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,024
Like, I've been taking care
of this one since he was 43.
12
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,125
(laughs)
13
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,926
He's been a
wonderful provider.
14
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,796
And he only spanks me
when I ask him to.
15
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:34,600
Wow, that is a lot to take in
before 10:00 a.M. On a Monday.
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,068
That's what he said.
17
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,603
Okay, please stop.
18
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,738
That's what he said.
19
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,674
Oh! The reason I bring it up
is because there is
20
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,510
A six-year-old boy
who's been bouncing around
21
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:45,944
The foster system for a while,
22
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,447
And I think he'd be
a great match for you guys.
23
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,648
Wow, really?
24
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,017
Uh, well, six
is a great age.
25
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,453
Potty-trained
but not ashamed of you yet.
26
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,788
Walden:
Well...
27
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,123
Well, uh, can we adopt him
right away?
28
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,691
Well, we'd start
with a weekend visit.
29
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,127
See if it's a good fit,
then, assuming it is,
30
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,029
You guys would become
his foster parents.
31
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:05,998
After six months,
if everyone agrees,
32
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,833
You can officially adopt him.
33
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,902
Oh, and-and-and
if we don't agree,
34
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,704
Can we credit those six months
to a kid that we do like?
35
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,207
(all laugh)
36
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,776
Wow, I-I always thought
we were gonna get a baby,
37
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:21,380
But I kind of like the idea
of giving an older kid a shot.
38
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,749
Well, louis certainly
deserves a shot.
39
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,050
Louis?
40
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,819
Louie?
41
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,053
Aw, sweet lou.
42
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(bellows):
Lou!
43
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,124
Uh, is he married to that name
or can we change it?
44
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,792
Alan.
45
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,260
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
46
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:38,063
I just, you know,
I had my heart set on beckett.
47
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:41,333
Look, I'm gonna be
honest with you guys.
48
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,035
Louis has had a rough time.
49
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,903
He's been in foster homes,
group homes.
50
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,472
He's moved around a lot.
51
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,806
We thought we had him
placed for adoption
52
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,208
A few months ago,
but it fell through.
53
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,143
So he's gonna be
a little gun-shy.
54
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,444
Well, don't worry about that.
55
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,079
I mean, I'm sure we'll have
a great time together.
56
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:55,380
Just don't expect a lot.
57
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,683
Same thing I told this one
on our wedding night.
58
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,122
Wow, I really like this idea.
59
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,857
I mean, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna have a son.
60
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:06,458
How cool is that gonna be?
61
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,960
I mean, and-and
you get to relive
62
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,329
All those great
father-son moments.
63
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,733
♪ by the time
you hear the siren ♪
64
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,169
♪ it's already too late
65
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:20,472
♪ one goes to the morgue
and the other to jail ♪
66
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,040
♪ one gets wasted
and the other's a waste... ♪
67
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:22,908
(vomiting)
68
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,676
Good thinking.
Aah!
69
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,112
(farts)
70
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,217
Dad?
Yeah, buddy?
71
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:35,521
Bite me.
72
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,756
(farting)
73
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:41,326
(fart echoing)
74
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,228
Yeah, all those
75
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,265
Great father-son moments.
76
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,767
♪ men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
77
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,970
♪ ah.
♪ men.
♪ men.
78
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,508
♪ men. ♪
79
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,811
What the hell?
80
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,680
Walden?
Walden: Up here!
81
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,116
Check it out!
Isn't this awesome?
82
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:06,151
They have one just like it
at the google headquarters!
83
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,053
Oh, you know what you get
when you google
84
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,721
"greatest dad in the world"?
85
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,959
This guy!
86
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,694
(laughs)
87
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,196
(stammers)
what is going on?
88
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,263
What is all this?
89
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,199
Oh, uh, well,
I went to the toy store
90
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,667
And got a few things for louis.
91
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,102
"a few things"?
Okay, I don't want to be the guy
92
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,971
To point out the 800-pound
gorilla in the room.
93
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,707
But there's an 800-pound gorilla
in the room.
94
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,642
I just want him to like it here.
95
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:31,910
Well, so do I.
96
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,879
But if you build disneyland
in your house,
97
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,782
You'll never get the thrill
of taking him to disneyland.
98
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,284
Ah. You're right.
99
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:42,187
Damn it. I got to cancel
mickey and minnie.
100
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:42,955
What?
101
00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,022
Oh, I was gonna have him
102
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,224
Wake him up in the morning.
103
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,391
(imitating mickey mouse):
Hey, louis.
104
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,559
Ready for breakfast?
105
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,727
We've got orange juice
106
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,029
And waffles shaped just like me!
107
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,765
I think it's great that you're
so excited about being a dad.
108
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:57,369
And the best part is...
No stretch marks for me.
109
00:03:57,371 --> 00:04:00,005
You know, you're my best friend,
110
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,074
But you're an odd little man.
111
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,477
♪ men. ♪
112
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,480
Oh, hey.
113
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,548
What are you doing up?
114
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,916
I couldn't sleep.
115
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,051
Oh, I get it.
Excited about tomorrow?
116
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,287
More like terrified
about tomorrow.
117
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,823
Why are you getting paper towels
118
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,192
In the middle of the..
Oh, you... Never mind.
119
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:21,627
I don't want to know.
120
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:25,130
That's a good call.
121
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,267
You want to talk about it?
122
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,636
There's a kid
showing up here tomorrow.
123
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,105
And he needs a dad,
and I don't know if I can do it.
124
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,240
What? Why not?
125
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,809
Well, I've never had
a successful relationship
126
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,345
With anyone in my life
except for you.
127
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,980
Four years next Thursday.
128
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,982
Yeah, I got your wish list.
129
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,052
They're just ideas.
Make it your own.
130
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,154
Look, the fact that you've
screwed up with women
131
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,589
Doesn't mean you can't
be a great father.
132
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,691
I don't even know
what a good dad looks like.
133
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,226
I mean, I know
what a bad dad looks like.
134
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:56,728
It's an empty chair
across the table from my mom.
135
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,997
Which later gets filled
by my "uncle kenneth"
136
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,432
Who sold speedboats.
137
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,168
And "uncle rob"
who sold insurance.
138
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,304
Then "uncle stan" who sold pot.
139
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,539
I liked uncle stan.
140
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,641
I get it. I didn't grow up
with a dad, either.
141
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,910
When jake was born,
I was scared out of my mind.
142
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,879
Why were you scared?
You're a great dad.
143
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:17,182
Okay, I'm gonna
tell you something
144
00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,851
That I've, I've never
told anybody before.
145
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,988
When jake was a baby...
146
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,923
I dropped him.
147
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,628
Right smack on his head.
148
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:32,230
Oh, my god.
149
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,566
Now I feel awful
about all the times I said,
150
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:38,103
"were you dropped
on your head as a baby?"
151
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,439
My point is
that jake turned out fine.
152
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,908
I mean, sure, he had to repeat
seventh grade math
153
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,510
A couple of times, but he was
born at the right time.
154
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,179
You know? Computers.
155
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,582
Wait, so what you're saying is
156
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,285
Even if I screw up a little,
it's not the end of the world?
157
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:55,454
The fact that you're worried
about being a good dad
158
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,289
Is what's gonna
make you a great one.
159
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:59,891
Thanks.
Hmm.
160
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,193
You're a good friend.
161
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,761
All right.
162
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,129
I'm gonna go get some sleep.
163
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:06,231
Good night.
Good night.
164
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,905
Oh, baby jake.
165
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,841
♪ men. ♪
166
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,410
It'll be nice having
a kid around here again.
167
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,479
Running up and
down the stairs.
168
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,048
Laughing at all
the silliest things.
169
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,118
And they'll believe almost
anything you tell them.
170
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,419
No kidding.
171
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,587
Jake still thinks
one of the first men
172
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,688
On the moon was
buzz lightyear.
173
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,789
Ha!
174
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,357
(doorbell rings)
175
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:34,226
I'll get it!
176
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,462
You got to admit that would've
been way cooler with a slide.
177
00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:45,370
Look who's here.
Hi, guys.
178
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,938
This is louis.
179
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,573
Hi, louis!
Sweet lou!
180
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,109
(bellows):
Lou!
181
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,513
We're not booing,
we're lou-ing.
182
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,216
Louis, this is walden and alan.
183
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,284
Hi.
184
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,285
You're gonna be staying
185
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,319
With them for the weekend.
186
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,921
Oh, uh, don't worry, buddy,
187
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,424
I was only supposed
to stay here for a weekend, too.
188
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,826
(singsongy):
12 years later.
189
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,928
Walden:
Oh, and, uh,
190
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,363
This is berta.
Uh, she helps
191
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:12,664
Take care of us around here.
192
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,499
Look at that face.
193
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,403
Walden, you might have
some competition
194
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,205
For the best looking
man in the house.
195
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:22,107
You mean so-some
more competition?
196
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,143
Nope.
197
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,345
Do you have any cheez-its?
198
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,615
Uh, well, if we don't,
we could get some.
199
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,784
Okay, I'll stay.
200
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,920
All right, well,
I want you guys
201
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,688
To get to know each other,
so I'm gonna go.
202
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,957
But you have my number
if you need anything.
Oh, uh, wait.
203
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,194
Uh, does-does he come with an
instruction manual or something?
204
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:45,330
You'll be fine.
Bye, louis.
205
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,731
Uh, okay, uh...
206
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,500
Should we have tipped her?
207
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,668
You're asking me?
208
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,870
I don't even tip the pizza guy.
209
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,371
I don't like pizza.
210
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,906
I like cheez-its.
211
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,142
Oh, well, you know,
when you think about it,
212
00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:00,345
A pizza is just
a really big cheez-it
213
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,614
With sauce.
214
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,818
We're gonna get
cheez-its, right?
215
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,253
Berta?
216
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:09,454
I'm on it.
217
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,857
I'll be back as
soon as I can.
218
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:12,991
And, louis?
219
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,226
That's the first time I ever
220
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:16,228
Said that and meant it.
221
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,763
Hey, louis?
Welcome to our house.
222
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,500
Do you want to come on in?
223
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,934
Oh, my god. Look at him.
224
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,302
He's adorable.
225
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,771
Alan:
I know, I know.
He's like one of those tv kids.
226
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,006
Maybe we can put him
in commercials.
227
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,508
We know he likes cheez-its.
228
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,009
Alan, do you really want to be
229
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,278
Making less money
than a six-year-old?
230
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,680
Oh, oh, oh. Oh.
231
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,349
Who is that?
232
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,550
This is timothy.
233
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,618
He's a seal.
234
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,886
Oh! Well, hi, timothy.
235
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:41,920
I'm walden.
236
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:42,954
And I'm alan.
237
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,357
Timothy doesn't talk.
238
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,658
Oh, right, yeah.
239
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,360
Because he's a seal.
240
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,096
No, because he's a toy.
241
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:53,498
Right. He-he's a toy.
242
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,769
(exhales)
243
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:01,239
Wow. Got a lot
of weekend left.
244
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:04,943
So, which one of you
is the mommy?
245
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,812
Um...
Um...
246
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:10,048
Well, that's-that's
a great question.
247
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,416
And one I was hoping
you wouldn't ask
248
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,951
In the first five minutes.
249
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,386
You know, see, in some families,
250
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,188
There's a mommy and a daddy.
251
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,524
But in other families,
like this one,
252
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,359
There's, there's two daddies.
253
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,594
Why?
254
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:27,165
Wow, that is
another great question.
255
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,634
Um... Alan?
256
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,436
No, no. You're doing great.
257
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:32,571
Okay.
258
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,472
He's the mommy.
259
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,708
I told you, timothy.
260
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,777
♪ men. ♪
261
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,349
♪ men. ♪
262
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:47,052
Hey, louis, check it out.
263
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,854
Casa de louis.
264
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,556
Chez louie.
265
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,459
San louis... Obispo.
266
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,663
Basically what I'm saying is
this is your room.
267
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,132
Cool!
You know, I thought we could
decorate it together.
268
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,802
Lucky. He never let me.
269
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,271
Oh, and check this out.
270
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,973
This is your bed.
271
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,975
But if you're thinking about
jumping up and down on it,
272
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,777
You're gonna be
in a lot of trouble...
273
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,680
If you don't!
(laughing)
274
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,284
Uh, we also heard, uh,
that you like to draw.
275
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,653
So check out
this fully stocked art table.
276
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,122
You got, uh, markers,
crayons, paints.
277
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,692
Someone's gonna put
the "arty" back in "party."
278
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,060
(chuckles)
279
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,363
Okay, so, uh, why don't we,
uh, unpack your stuff?
280
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:33,832
We'll put it in the dresser,
and then we'll go do something.
281
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,967
No, I don't need to unpack.
282
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,302
Oh, okay.
283
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,771
Uh, well, then it's straight
to the good times, huh?
284
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,440
For king louie
the fun-teenth.
285
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,175
(laughs)
286
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,877
I apologize.
287
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,479
Walden:
So, yeah,
288
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:48,647
What do you want to do?
289
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,181
You know, we could play a game,
290
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,450
We could go to the park,
we could go to the zoo,
291
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,686
We could go to seaworld
or disneyland
292
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,821
Or legoland, or we could
play legos in the house,
293
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,823
Or we could play house,
or we could build a house,
294
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,625
Or we could listen
to house music.
295
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:03,628
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
296
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,264
(alan and walden
imitating house music)
297
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,799
What's up, miami!
298
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,134
Oontz. Oontz.
299
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:12,837
Or-or we don't have
to do any of that.
300
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,039
We could...
301
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,841
Do something else, like...
302
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,043
Alan?
303
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,878
Uh, uh, we could,
we could go to the beach.
304
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,646
Oh, that's a great idea.
305
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,916
Oh, but where are we
gonna find one of those?
306
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,052
You live on the beach.
307
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,120
Oh! That's right!
308
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,289
It's your backyard.
309
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,158
So, what do you say?
You want to go?
310
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,259
Okay.
311
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,394
We got an okay. Okay.
So let's go.
312
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,163
Let's do this.
To the beach we go.
313
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:40,765
Oh, hey, uh,
if you need a bathing suit,
314
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,300
It's in the top drawer.
315
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,736
So why don't you change,
316
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,171
And we'll change,
and then we'll go
317
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,173
Have a party on the beach.
318
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:51,142
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
319
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,911
Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz.
320
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:53,912
Oontz. Oontz.
321
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,381
Oh, my god,
that was like pulling teeth.
322
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,183
Please tell me
this gets easier.
323
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,350
It doesn't,
324
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,486
But the good news
is, you stop trying.
325
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,887
♪ men. ♪
326
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,856
Hey, louis,
look at this.
327
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,558
We're almost done.
328
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,526
Yes, now all we need
329
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,828
Is a flag for the top.
Oh!
330
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,830
Oh, that's an old band-aid.
331
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,364
Uh, how about this?
332
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,567
We'll take this juice box,
333
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,269
Flip it up here, and we'll put
the straw in like this,
334
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,504
And ta-da!
335
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,839
It's a flag!
336
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,240
Look at this, louis!
337
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,608
All hail
338
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,045
The kingdom
of mount berry cooler!
339
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,047
Alan:
Oh, oh,
340
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,783
And here comes the king, uh,
returning home from battle.
341
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,686
Walden: And what does
he have with him?
342
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,087
The spoils of war,
343
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,791
All the cheez-its in the land.
344
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,593
Isn't this cool, louis?
345
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,294
I want to go back inside.
346
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,395
What?
347
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,497
It's kind of hot,
348
00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:47,031
And I have to pee.
349
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,333
Well, uh, you know,
350
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,702
The ocean solves
both of those problems.
351
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,171
O-o-okay.
352
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,807
Okay,
w-w-we'll meet you inside.
353
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,675
Hey, hey, berta,
he's coming in!
354
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,943
Berta:
I've got him!
355
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,013
Well, he hates me.
356
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,047
What?
357
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,649
We spent an hour
358
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,050
Building a sand castle,
359
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:07,719
And all he did was dig a hole.
360
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,853
Who digs holes, alan?
361
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,890
Prisoners, they want to escape.
362
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,858
Oh, walden.
363
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:16,628
Why are the pretty ones
always so crazy?
364
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,296
Crazy? Am I?
365
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,398
Really? What about earlier
when he didn't want to unpack?
366
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,566
What was that all about?
367
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,401
Nobody likes to unpack.
I hate it.
368
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,236
Oh, is that why
you've never moved out?
369
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,504
Wow.
370
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,439
Um, misdirected anger,
371
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,041
Your table is ready.
372
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,410
You know what,
he doesn't want to be here.
373
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,778
That's it.
374
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,680
I-I knew I couldn't do this.
375
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,682
Come on, walden,
put yourself in his shoes.
376
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,185
He only spent
half a day with us.
377
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,654
He's gonna need more time
to feel safe here.
378
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,389
Yeah, right.
379
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,457
More time.
380
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,662
You think he'll love me
by tomorrow?
381
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,930
Trust me, walden,
382
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,832
He'll warm up to you
just like I did.
383
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,133
Remember when you moved here?
384
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,935
I wasn't sure
I wanted you to stay.
385
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,436
I bought the house.
386
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,171
And I made it a home.
387
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,141
You're gonna have
to have more patience with him.
388
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,844
Fine.
389
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,512
Patience.
390
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,113
(groans)
391
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,615
Where you going?
The ocean.
392
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,684
I'm hot and I got to pee.
393
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,119
Well, be careful.
394
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:18,122
He hates me.
395
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,895
Oh, there he is.
396
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,763
Did you put the seat down?
397
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,365
I never put it up.
398
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,969
Can I have a snack?
399
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,704
Do we have snacks?
400
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,107
Let's see.
401
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,813
Wow.
402
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,882
Take a load off.
403
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:49,320
When a guy named charlie
lived here,
404
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,323
I had to keep this cabinet
405
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,059
Stocked with coke...
406
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:59,030
...Co powder.
407
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:02,066
Because he loved hot chocolate.
408
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,801
I like hot chocolate.
409
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,803
Not like he did.
410
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:08,640
You like your crackers?
411
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:09,741
Yeah.
412
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:10,942
You don't talk much, do you?
413
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:13,978
I get it.
414
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,546
I was a quiet child.
415
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,115
In fact,
416
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,217
You and I have a lot in common.
417
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,319
You like cheez-its, too?
418
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,054
I do.
419
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,390
But I was also raised
420
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,425
In a whole bunch
of foster homes.
421
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,626
You were?
422
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,895
Yep, and I hated it.
423
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,631
Moving around
all the time,
424
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,867
Having to make friends
everywhere,
425
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:39,037
And no one ever offered me
grape juice.
426
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,007
Would you like to have
some grape juice?
427
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,343
Yes, please.
428
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,345
But I got to tell you,
429
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,515
We both hit the lottery
with this place.
430
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,917
Walden and alan
431
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,852
Are the best.
432
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,688
They're nice,
433
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,223
They're fun,
434
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,858
And guess what else.
435
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:01,993
What?
436
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,062
They're easy to fool.
437
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:09,400
Last year, I went to
my granddaughter's graduation
438
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,768
Seven times.
439
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,037
(laughter)
440
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:14,272
And with that face...
441
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,542
...You can get anything
you want.
442
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,211
Welcome to malibu, kid.
443
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:23,681
♪ men. ♪
444
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,583
(knocking)
445
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,485
Can I come in?
446
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:30,989
What you drawing?
447
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,790
Oh.
448
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,425
A sand castle.
449
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,728
That's ironic.
450
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,930
Hey, uh, c-can we
talk for a second?
451
00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,565
Sure.
All right.
452
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,733
Great.
453
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:42,934
Look, uh...
454
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,071
I know it's got
to be overwhelming being here
455
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:50,141
And being in new places
all the time
456
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,677
And with new people
and a new bed.
457
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,878
I mean, heck, for all you know,
458
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,380
There could be monsters
under the bed.
459
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,315
There's monsters?
No.
460
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,750
That's a bad example.
461
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:01,419
In fact, before you got here,
462
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,755
I de-monsterized
the entire house.
463
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,626
My point is, is...
464
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,261
I'm really glad
you're here, louis.
465
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:13,765
I just want you
to be comfortable
466
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,700
With alan and I.
467
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,136
So if, so if there's anything
you ever need to talk about,
468
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,238
Like anything at all,
you can come to me.
469
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,242
So, that's all I have to say.
470
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,646
Is there anything
you would like to say?
471
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,181
Nope.
472
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,783
Really.
473
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,484
Just, like, just nothing?
474
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,820
Like, nothing at all?
475
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,522
Can I ask you a question?
476
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,756
Uh, yes, of course.
477
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,957
You can just, any time.
478
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,092
That-that's why I'm here.
479
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:42,360
So you just ask away.
480
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:45,863
Is it okay that I can draw
by myself for a little while?
481
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,002
Yeah.
482
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,637
Okay, yeah.
483
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,739
You-you want to be alone.
484
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,140
I get that.
485
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,076
That is not a problem.
486
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:01,212
So, you want your space,
487
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,681
And I shall give it to you.
488
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,683
I will withdraw while you draw.
489
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,019
(chuckles)
490
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,991
Son of a bitch.
491
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,297
♪ men. ♪
492
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,502
Walden?
493
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:25,970
(gasps)
oh, god.
494
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,939
Oh, louis.
495
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,607
Oh, hey.
496
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,109
(groans)
497
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,643
What's going on, man?
498
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,945
It's really late.
499
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,214
I had a question, and you said
we could talk any time.
500
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,949
Well, that's-that's just
501
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,117
Something that people say,
502
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,585
But, I, uh...
503
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:43,187
Yeah, what-what's up?
504
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,889
Am I gonna stay here with you?
505
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,357
What do you mean?
506
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,426
Sometimes I go to a house
for a weekend,
507
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,827
But then I don't stay.
508
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,063
Oh, buddy, that's what
you're worried about.
509
00:18:52,065 --> 00:18:54,132
Well, come here,
c-come here, okay?
510
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,868
Jump up here.
511
00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,337
Hey,
512
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,571
Listen.
513
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,774
You can stay here as long
as you want to.
514
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,743
Do you want to?
515
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,746
Uh-huh. I really like it here.
516
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,882
That's... Great.
517
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:13,251
Really surprising,
but it's great.
518
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,319
Hey,
519
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,854
I'm not going anywhere,
520
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,390
And as long as you want
to be here,
521
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,825
You're not going anywhere,
either.
522
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:24,829
And believe me, alan is gonna be
here longer than the both of us.
523
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,665
So don't you worry.
524
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,400
Thanks.
525
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:30,835
So you really like it here, huh?
526
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,437
All right, what was
the best part of the day?
527
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,705
Both:
The cheez-its.
528
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,141
Yeah.
529
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,342
And I like berta.
530
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,810
Berta's great,
531
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,179
And you like me, too, right?
532
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,314
Berta's so funny.
533
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,249
Patience, patience.
534
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,817
Listen,
535
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:47,818
As long as you're happy.
536
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,320
Cool.
537
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,789
It is cool, louis.
538
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,357
It's very cool.
539
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:57,762
Where's alan?
540
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,034
Look at us.
541
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,735
We're like
the three musketeers.
542
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,370
I don't think the
three musketeers
543
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,005
Shared a bed.
544
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,173
You don't know that.
545
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,775
They were french.
546
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,343
Where's berta?
547
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,578
No.
548
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,646
♪ men. ♪
549
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,551
♪ men. ♪
550
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,220
And then you pull the bird back,
uh-huh.
551
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,455
And then let them go fly
into the pig's house.
552
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:28,159
And then they roll around,
and then they explode.
553
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:29,994
And then it's fun.
554
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,762
Angry birds sounds like
it's fun.
555
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,465
You know,
I bet the birds are so angry
556
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,300
'cause they don't get
enough sleep.
557
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,469
It's the pigs
who should be angry.
558
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,972
The birds are always crashing
into their house,
559
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:44,208
Even when they build them
out of ice or in space.
560
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,910
I wonder if the pigs are
from three little pigs.
561
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,745
That's messed up
because the wolf already broke
562
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,181
Their old houses.
563
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:54,252
Little help, alan?
(alan snoring)