1
00:00:03,981 --> 00:00:05,367
Oh, damn!
2
00:00:05,662 --> 00:00:07,432
What password
did I use for this?
3
00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:08,911
Um...
4
00:00:08,912 --> 00:00:10,628
Uh, Jake.
5
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:13,948
Nope. Um...
6
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,800
Jake-1.
7
00:00:18,053 --> 00:00:19,870
Jake-2.
8
00:00:23,308 --> 00:00:24,559
Alan.
9
00:00:26,512 --> 00:00:28,145
Alan-1.
10
00:00:28,147 --> 00:00:29,397
Berta!
11
00:00:29,399 --> 00:00:31,432
Ooh, maybe that's it!
12
00:00:32,518 --> 00:00:34,302
Big Scary Lady.
13
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,988
Where is Berta?
14
00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,906
She went home early.
Said she wasn't feeling well.
15
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,191
Anything I can do for you?
16
00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:41,909
Out of dental floss.
17
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,611
Ooh. Uh, waxed?
18
00:00:43,613 --> 00:00:45,729
Unwaxed? Cinnamon?
19
00:00:45,731 --> 00:00:48,399
You carry a selection
of dental floss?
20
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:50,885
I am a soldier in the war
against gingivitis.
21
00:00:51,753 --> 00:00:53,788
Got the gums of a 20-year-old.
22
00:00:53,790 --> 00:00:55,039
I'll take the cinnamon.
23
00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:55,873
Ooh, good choice.
24
00:00:55,875 --> 00:00:57,241
Clean teeth and fresh breath.
25
00:00:57,243 --> 00:00:58,175
Mm-hmm.
26
00:00:58,177 --> 00:00:59,210
What are you doing?
27
00:00:59,212 --> 00:01:00,795
I was trying to do
some on-line banking,
28
00:01:00,797 --> 00:01:01,929
but I forgot my password.
29
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,681
I can help you with that.
Move over.
30
00:01:03,683 --> 00:01:06,350
Oh, I forgot I had a computer
genius in the house.
31
00:01:06,352 --> 00:01:08,269
Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:08,271 --> 00:01:12,557
Okay, let's put in
your e-mail address.
33
00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:16,310
And click on
"forgot password."
34
00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:19,897
Hey, there's a password hint.
35
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:22,066
"What is my favorite state?"
36
00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:25,319
Uh, California?
37
00:01:25,321 --> 00:01:27,738
You are a hacker's nightmare.
38
00:01:28,957 --> 00:01:30,741
Not California.
39
00:01:30,743 --> 00:01:31,626
Huh.
40
00:01:31,628 --> 00:01:34,111
Gosh, um, try Hawaii.
41
00:01:35,631 --> 00:01:36,797
Nope.
42
00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:39,783
The good news is we only
have 48 states to go.
43
00:01:39,785 --> 00:01:41,502
Favorite state,
favorite state.
44
00:01:41,504 --> 00:01:43,471
What's my favorite state?
45
00:01:44,924 --> 00:01:46,724
I'm getting
a Skype call.
46
00:01:46,726 --> 00:01:49,143
It's my ex-wife.
47
00:01:49,145 --> 00:01:50,461
Hi, Walden.
48
00:01:50,463 --> 00:01:51,846
Hi, Bridget.
49
00:01:51,848 --> 00:01:52,813
Engorged!
50
00:01:52,815 --> 00:01:54,782
My favorite state is
fully engorged!
51
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,819
Hello, Alan.
52
00:01:58,821 --> 00:01:59,803
Hi, Bridget.
53
00:01:59,805 --> 00:02:02,273
Um, that was
just my-my password.
54
00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:05,076
You know what?
I'll just let you guys talk.
55
00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:07,328
How do you explain him
to people?
56
00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:10,965
I usually tell people that my
wife drove me to homosexuality.
57
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:13,501
What's up?
58
00:02:13,503 --> 00:02:14,902
Billy called.
59
00:02:14,904 --> 00:02:17,004
Billy Stanhope?
60
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,173
Yeah, he said he's has a
business proposition for you.
61
00:02:19,175 --> 00:02:21,175
Really?
62
00:02:21,177 --> 00:02:23,461
Why on Earth would I do
business with him
63
00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:24,929
after what he did to me?
64
00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:27,598
Hey, don't get upset with me.
I'm just the messenger.
65
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,601
I'm not upset. I've moved on.
66
00:02:30,603 --> 00:02:32,019
It, uh, it's behind me.
67
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:35,222
Yeah, I recognize your
"I'm not upset" eye twitch.
68
00:02:35,224 --> 00:02:37,391
My eye is not twitching.
69
00:02:37,393 --> 00:02:41,012
You know, tell him thank you,
but no, thank you.
70
00:02:41,014 --> 00:02:41,812
Got it.
71
00:02:41,814 --> 00:02:44,014
I wish him well, but I pass.
72
00:02:44,016 --> 00:02:44,899
Fine.
73
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:47,151
I'm flattered, but no can do.
74
00:02:47,153 --> 00:02:48,152
Understood.
75
00:02:48,154 --> 00:02:49,820
And if my eye is twitching,
76
00:02:49,822 --> 00:02:51,572
it's only because I have
conjunctivitis.
77
00:02:51,574 --> 00:02:54,859
You don't have conjunctivitis,
Walden.
78
00:02:54,861 --> 00:02:55,960
We're not married anymore,
Bridget.
79
00:02:55,962 --> 00:02:58,379
You have no idea
what kind of diseases I have.
80
00:02:59,314 --> 00:03:01,699
Good-bye.
81
00:03:04,036 --> 00:03:07,004
How about that.
82
00:03:07,006 --> 00:03:08,005
Billy Stanhope.
83
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,399
Whoa!
84
00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:24,021
Everything okay?
85
00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:26,273
Yeah. Why?
86
00:03:27,693 --> 00:03:31,078
Uh... the blood-curdling scream?
87
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,063
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
88
00:03:33,065 --> 00:03:37,118
No, no, I often react that way
after chatting with my ex-wife.
89
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,920
This isn't about my ex-wife.
90
00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:42,423
It's about my ex-friend
Billy Stanhope.
91
00:03:42,425 --> 00:03:44,742
Oh, I've never
heard you mention him before.
92
00:03:44,744 --> 00:03:47,094
Have you ever heard me mention
rectal cancer?
93
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:48,579
No.
94
00:03:48,581 --> 00:03:50,681
Same principle.
95
00:03:50,683 --> 00:03:52,583
What went down between you two?
96
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:54,752
Well, we built
97
00:03:54,754 --> 00:03:56,587
a software company in
Bridget's garage,
98
00:03:56,589 --> 00:03:58,556
and then sold it for
a couple billion dollars.
99
00:03:58,558 --> 00:04:00,975
That son of a bitch.
100
00:04:02,027 --> 00:04:03,644
No wonder you hate him.
101
00:04:03,646 --> 00:04:05,112
I don't think you understand.
102
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:08,315
He didn't want to sell,
so when we did, he went crazy.
103
00:04:08,317 --> 00:04:09,316
Really?
104
00:04:09,318 --> 00:04:10,317
Yeah, oh, yeah.
105
00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:11,285
Here, look, he put it on YouTube
106
00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:12,486
for the whole world to see.
107
00:04:13,872 --> 00:04:15,573
Hello, world.
108
00:04:15,575 --> 00:04:16,791
It's me, Billy Stanhope,
109
00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:23,097
and I'm here to drop another
smart bomb of truth!
110
00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:27,051
This is my ex-partner
Walden Schmidt.
111
00:04:27,053 --> 00:04:28,919
Oh, isn't he pretty?
112
00:04:28,921 --> 00:04:33,841
Hey, Walden, tell everyone
how pretty you are.
113
00:04:33,843 --> 00:04:35,509
I'm pretty!
114
00:04:37,129 --> 00:04:40,564
Yes, you are.
You are pretty.
115
00:04:40,566 --> 00:04:41,899
But that's just on
the outside.
116
00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:45,853
On the inside,
you are a soul-sucking,
117
00:04:45,855 --> 00:04:48,405
money-grubbing sellout!
118
00:04:48,407 --> 00:04:50,741
Oh, don't forget giant douche.
119
00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:53,027
I'm also a giant douche!
120
00:04:53,662 --> 00:04:54,995
Thanks, buddy.
121
00:04:54,997 --> 00:04:57,748
I'm always forgetting about your
extreme doucheyness!
122
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,867
You know what
I'm gonna do, Walden?
123
00:04:59,869 --> 00:05:03,370
I... I'm gonna eat you, yeah.
124
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,989
I'm gonna eat you
and chew you up,
125
00:05:05,991 --> 00:05:09,460
and digest you and then
go in the bathroom
126
00:05:09,462 --> 00:05:13,464
and take a big steaming Schmidt!
127
00:05:13,466 --> 00:05:15,049
Whoa.
128
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:16,767
You think that's bad.
129
00:05:16,769 --> 00:05:18,219
Watch this one.
130
00:05:18,221 --> 00:05:22,640
Hey, folks!
Walden Schmidt here.
131
00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:27,311
I just wanted you to see me
as I really am.
132
00:05:27,313 --> 00:05:30,064
So he's actually talking out
of his ass?
133
00:05:30,066 --> 00:05:32,650
He calls it "buttriloquism"
134
00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:34,685
That's-That's very disturbing.
135
00:05:34,687 --> 00:05:35,686
Yeah.
136
00:05:35,688 --> 00:05:36,787
That's the least disturbing
137
00:05:36,789 --> 00:05:39,356
of the ass-talking videos.
138
00:05:39,358 --> 00:05:41,458
It-It's crazy.
139
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:43,711
I made this guy, like,
a billion dollars,
140
00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:44,962
and then he turns on me.
141
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:48,031
And then he accuses me
of being a sellout.
142
00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:49,533
Talk about ingratitude.
143
00:05:49,535 --> 00:05:51,001
If you made me rich,
144
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:53,203
the only thing
I'd accuse you of
145
00:05:53,205 --> 00:05:57,057
is being the best... guy ever.
146
00:05:57,059 --> 00:05:58,058
Thanks.
147
00:05:58,060 --> 00:05:59,310
Seriously.
If you don't believe it,
148
00:05:59,312 --> 00:06:01,879
throw me a couple of mil
and get ready for a tongue bath.
149
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,247
I doubt that will be necessary.
150
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:05,048
I am not talking just
metaphorically.
151
00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:07,067
I will lick you
from head to toe.
152
00:06:09,104 --> 00:06:11,488
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
153
00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:13,330
♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
154
00:06:19,357 --> 00:06:21,107
♪ Men. ♪
155
00:06:28,065 --> 00:06:30,283
Surprise.
156
00:06:30,285 --> 00:06:31,718
You gotta be kidding me.
157
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,419
Walden...
158
00:06:33,421 --> 00:06:34,504
Walden, come on!
159
00:06:34,506 --> 00:06:35,722
Hey, who's at the door?
160
00:06:35,724 --> 00:06:37,924
Rectal cancer!
161
00:06:57,194 --> 00:06:58,194
Hi.
162
00:06:58,196 --> 00:06:59,645
Hi.
163
00:06:59,647 --> 00:07:01,281
I'm Billy Stanhope.
164
00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:03,533
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I recognize you from the video.
165
00:07:04,818 --> 00:07:06,002
You look good.
166
00:07:06,004 --> 00:07:09,789
Well, you know, I cut out sugar
and took up yoga,
167
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:12,158
stopped smoking crack.
168
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:16,329
Well, whatever it is you're
doing, it's working.
169
00:07:16,331 --> 00:07:18,281
Who are you?
170
00:07:18,283 --> 00:07:19,716
Oh, yeah, I'm Walden's friend...
171
00:07:19,718 --> 00:07:23,136
confidante, mentor, gatekeeper.
172
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,855
Oh, yeah, Bridget told
me about you.
173
00:07:25,857 --> 00:07:26,940
Yeah, the leech.
174
00:07:26,942 --> 00:07:29,842
Alan Harper.
Pleased to meet you.
175
00:07:29,844 --> 00:07:32,529
Hey. Listen, gatekeeper,
any way I could talk
176
00:07:32,531 --> 00:07:34,397
to Walden for just
five minutes?
177
00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:36,566
Oh, I don't think so.
He's pretty peeved.
178
00:07:36,568 --> 00:07:37,951
I got this billion-dollar idea
179
00:07:37,953 --> 00:07:39,569
that can't move forward
without him.
180
00:07:39,571 --> 00:07:42,205
But, look, if he won't see me,
he won't see me, so...
181
00:07:42,207 --> 00:07:43,823
Hold up, Billy.
182
00:07:44,575 --> 00:07:45,808
Come on in. Come on in.
183
00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:46,826
Uh, talk to me.
184
00:07:46,828 --> 00:07:49,345
So, uh, a billion
dollars, you say?
185
00:07:49,347 --> 00:07:51,864
At least.
Wow.
186
00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:54,500
What could possibly be worth
a billion dollars?
187
00:07:54,502 --> 00:07:55,418
It's simple, really.
188
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:56,669
I mean, are you familiar with
189
00:07:56,671 --> 00:07:59,038
Web-based aggregate upstream
power grid manipulation?
190
00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:04,577
Uh... I-I have Netflix.
191
00:08:04,579 --> 00:08:05,762
Okay, look, it's not important.
192
00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:06,879
If you could just...
193
00:08:06,881 --> 00:08:09,098
I just need to talk
to him for five minutes.
194
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,400
I don't think
that's gonna happen.
195
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:11,217
All right. Here's $50.00.
196
00:08:11,219 --> 00:08:12,368
Wait right here.
Okay.
197
00:08:17,858 --> 00:08:19,492
Yeah?
198
00:08:19,494 --> 00:08:20,610
Got a second?
199
00:08:20,612 --> 00:08:21,945
Yeah, come in.
200
00:08:22,863 --> 00:08:24,330
Whatcha doin'?
201
00:08:24,332 --> 00:08:25,448
Playing a racing game.
202
00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:27,367
Ah, that's fun.
203
00:08:27,369 --> 00:08:30,787
Uh, after my divorce, I played
"World of Warcraft" for a while,
204
00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,571
hoping to meet girls.
205
00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:34,573
Did you meet any?
206
00:08:34,575 --> 00:08:36,125
Well, let's just say, if you're
207
00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:39,462
lonely enough and drunk enough,
everybody's a girl.
208
00:08:40,714 --> 00:08:43,883
So, listen, um, I was having
209
00:08:43,885 --> 00:08:47,920
a very interesting conversation
with your former compadre.
210
00:08:49,756 --> 00:08:52,058
You let that son of a bitch
in my house?
211
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,759
Uh, well, yeah,
I-I was just...
212
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,095
You let him
in my house?!
213
00:08:56,097 --> 00:08:57,030
Well, I didn't
see any harm.
214
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:58,064
I kinda felt sorry
for the guy.
215
00:08:58,066 --> 00:08:59,649
I thought I could
trust you, Alan!
216
00:08:59,651 --> 00:09:01,651
You can! I just got
sucked in by the words
217
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:03,219
"billion dollar idea."
218
00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:10,710
What idea?
219
00:09:10,712 --> 00:09:12,245
Uh, something about, uh,
220
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:17,417
upstream grid perambulation?
221
00:09:17,419 --> 00:09:18,751
What?
222
00:09:18,753 --> 00:09:23,289
Uh, in-in-incubation...
ma... ma-masturbation...
223
00:09:23,291 --> 00:09:24,307
I don't know!
224
00:09:24,309 --> 00:09:26,542
Was it Web-based aggregated
225
00:09:26,544 --> 00:09:27,894
upstream power grid
manipulation?
226
00:09:27,896 --> 00:09:28,811
Yes, that's it.
227
00:09:28,813 --> 00:09:31,497
Oh, my God...
228
00:09:31,499 --> 00:09:33,449
He figured out
The Electric Suitcase.
229
00:09:33,451 --> 00:09:34,967
Is it really worth
a billion dollars?
230
00:09:34,969 --> 00:09:36,519
Oh, yeah.
231
00:09:38,322 --> 00:09:41,958
Probably should've
held out for more than 50.
232
00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:44,643
All right,
let's hear it.
233
00:09:44,645 --> 00:09:46,863
Oh, you look good
without the beard.
234
00:09:46,865 --> 00:09:48,481
And you look good
without the crack pipe.
235
00:09:48,483 --> 00:09:50,366
Okay, just...
236
00:09:51,735 --> 00:09:52,785
You really think
237
00:09:52,787 --> 00:09:54,037
we can finally build
The Electric Suitcase?
238
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:55,872
Yes.
We have the technology now.
239
00:09:55,874 --> 00:09:58,374
I-I just need you
to help me write the code.
240
00:10:00,878 --> 00:10:02,795
Really?
241
00:10:02,797 --> 00:10:04,097
You need my help?
242
00:10:04,099 --> 00:10:05,831
'Cause I-I thought I was
just a pretty face,
243
00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:07,266
and you were the brains
behind the operation.
244
00:10:07,268 --> 00:10:09,769
Okay, we both know that
was Class-A narcotics
245
00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:13,839
and psychotic jealousy
joining forces to...
246
00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:16,175
to tell the truth.
247
00:10:16,177 --> 00:10:18,778
Okay.
248
00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:21,381
Say you're sorry and...
we'll get to work.
249
00:10:21,383 --> 00:10:22,515
I'm here, isn't that enough?
250
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:23,900
Nope. Get out.
Okay.
251
00:10:23,902 --> 00:10:25,017
Wait, what-whatever.
252
00:10:25,019 --> 00:10:27,153
Fine.
253
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,372
I'm...
254
00:10:29,374 --> 00:10:30,356
Oh, wait.
255
00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:32,191
Wald, come on, man.
256
00:10:32,193 --> 00:10:33,676
Okay. Go.
257
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,212
I'm sorry.
258
00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:37,497
I'm sorry to who?
259
00:10:37,499 --> 00:10:40,917
I'm sorry
to Walden Schmidt.
260
00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:41,867
For?
261
00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:44,220
For calling him names.
262
00:10:44,222 --> 00:10:45,855
And?
263
00:10:47,341 --> 00:10:50,893
Frivolously suing him
for $100 million.
264
00:10:50,895 --> 00:10:52,845
Okay.
265
00:10:52,847 --> 00:10:54,147
Now cross your eyes,
stick out your tongue,
266
00:10:54,149 --> 00:10:55,148
and dance like a monkey.
267
00:10:57,102 --> 00:10:58,401
I will rip your throat out!
268
00:10:58,403 --> 00:10:59,635
Bring it on,
Poppin' Fresh!
269
00:10:59,637 --> 00:11:00,770
I will do it!
Fellas! Fellas!
270
00:11:00,772 --> 00:11:02,739
I will do it!
271
00:11:02,741 --> 00:11:03,773
Oh, wait!
272
00:11:03,775 --> 00:11:04,741
Hey, hey, hey!
273
00:11:08,913 --> 00:11:12,582
I'm getting too old
for this crap.
274
00:11:19,494 --> 00:11:21,027
♪ Men. ♪
275
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:23,529
Now, come on, shake hands.
276
00:11:23,531 --> 00:11:26,516
I don't wanna.
277
00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:27,533
Okay.
278
00:11:27,535 --> 00:11:29,786
Walden, you want to be
the bigger man?
279
00:11:29,788 --> 00:11:31,153
I am the bigger man.
280
00:11:31,155 --> 00:11:33,206
Oh, that's-- yeah,
with the short jokes, okay.
281
00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:35,007
No, you are a short joke.
282
00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:36,092
"You are a short joke."
283
00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:37,009
Walden, that's not helping.
284
00:11:37,011 --> 00:11:38,177
Now, come on, guys,
this is silly!
285
00:11:38,179 --> 00:11:39,545
Now, you've got
a billion-dollar idea
286
00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:41,130
waiting for us.
287
00:11:41,132 --> 00:11:43,216
Us?
Us?
288
00:11:43,218 --> 00:11:44,333
Okay, you.
289
00:11:44,335 --> 00:11:45,635
Bring it in.
290
00:11:50,474 --> 00:11:52,225
See, see?
Was that so hard?
291
00:11:52,227 --> 00:11:53,826
Guess not.
292
00:11:54,978 --> 00:11:56,696
Remember the fight we had
293
00:11:56,698 --> 00:11:59,615
over what to name
our first piece of software?
294
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:00,850
Yeah.
295
00:12:00,852 --> 00:12:03,519
You wanted to call it
MusicAlgorithm.com.
296
00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:05,538
Yeah, because
that's what it was.
297
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:06,856
What it was was boring.
298
00:12:06,858 --> 00:12:09,075
Yeah, it was a lot better
than SongSnatch.
299
00:12:09,077 --> 00:12:10,076
Whoa, hey!
300
00:12:10,078 --> 00:12:12,044
SongSnatch is catchy.
301
00:12:12,046 --> 00:12:13,362
Oh, yeah, so is herpes!
302
00:12:13,364 --> 00:12:15,548
Why didn't we call it
Herpes.com?!
303
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,033
Because it was taken!
304
00:12:17,035 --> 00:12:19,168
Guys, guys,
let's-let's bring it back, okay?
305
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,671
Easy does it, guys.
306
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,723
Right.
307
00:12:23,725 --> 00:12:24,674
Sorry.
308
00:12:24,676 --> 00:12:26,425
So what did you
end up calling it?
309
00:12:26,427 --> 00:12:28,261
Blungogo.
310
00:12:28,263 --> 00:12:29,478
How'd you come up with that?
311
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,763
It was the sound
that Billy was making
312
00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:32,265
when I was trying
to choke him to death.
313
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:36,051
Blungogo!
314
00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:39,221
I heard that,
I knew that was the name.
315
00:12:39,223 --> 00:12:40,773
Yeah. Way to go, partner.
316
00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:42,558
Hey, if you hadn't been
trying to kill me,
317
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,360
it never would've
come out of my mouth.
318
00:12:45,863 --> 00:12:47,914
You really think
we can build this thing?
319
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:50,233
If anybody can do it, it's us.
320
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:52,034
All right, where would we start?
321
00:12:52,036 --> 00:12:53,536
Well, first thing, we'd go over
322
00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:55,237
the original design
for the code,
323
00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:57,623
split it up into little chunks
that can be handled
324
00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:59,258
by multiple parallel processors.
325
00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:00,343
Sounds good.
326
00:13:00,345 --> 00:13:01,627
Yeah, that's what
I would do, yeah.
327
00:13:01,629 --> 00:13:03,512
Mm-hmm.
328
00:13:03,514 --> 00:13:04,931
Then we can start
compiling the modules,
329
00:13:04,933 --> 00:13:07,333
testing them, see if we can
get them to talk to each other.
330
00:13:07,335 --> 00:13:08,301
Yeah, exactly.
331
00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:09,886
No brainer.
332
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:12,638
Maybe the way to start is
I'll set up the testing sandbox,
333
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,190
and you set up the I/O module,
334
00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:15,758
and then we'll just
go from there.
335
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,726
Good.
336
00:13:16,728 --> 00:13:17,810
What do I do?
337
00:13:17,812 --> 00:13:19,145
What can you do?
338
00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:20,980
Uh...
339
00:13:20,982 --> 00:13:22,097
I-I can make cookies.
340
00:13:22,099 --> 00:13:23,449
You like cookies?
341
00:13:25,085 --> 00:13:27,570
Anyway, it's a multi-
billion-dollar idea
342
00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:28,955
that doesn't
have a prayer
343
00:13:28,957 --> 00:13:30,606
unless I get these
two guys together.
344
00:13:30,608 --> 00:13:31,958
And how do they thank me?
345
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,043
They eat my cookies
and send me to 7-Eleven
346
00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:35,328
for Red Bull and Hot Pockets.
347
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,779
Aw.
I got to tell you,
348
00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:38,264
my feelings are
a little bit hurt.
349
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,967
I mean, I thought Walden and I
350
00:13:40,969 --> 00:13:43,336
were, like, best friends,
but it turns out,
351
00:13:43,338 --> 00:13:45,621
this Billy guy
is really his best friend.
352
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:47,807
Well, old friends
are hard to compete with.
353
00:13:47,809 --> 00:13:51,010
Yeah.
354
00:13:51,012 --> 00:13:54,430
The sad thing is I don't really
have any old friends.
355
00:13:54,432 --> 00:13:56,799
What about the people
you went to school with?
356
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:59,969
My social life at school
was mostly running and hiding.
357
00:13:59,971 --> 00:14:01,637
Summer camp?
358
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:02,972
Oh, I still get Christmas cards
359
00:14:02,974 --> 00:14:04,473
from this one counselor
who's in prison.
360
00:14:04,475 --> 00:14:05,307
Prison?
361
00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:06,492
Pedophile.
362
00:14:06,494 --> 00:14:08,310
Ew.
363
00:14:08,312 --> 00:14:10,496
So, what happened
to your girlfriend?
364
00:14:10,498 --> 00:14:11,414
Oh, she's on vacation.
365
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:12,581
Oh, where'd she go?
366
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,417
Wouldn't say.
367
00:14:14,419 --> 00:14:16,852
It's kind of a vacation from me.
368
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:20,656
So what you're saying is there's
absolutely no one in your life
369
00:14:20,658 --> 00:14:22,375
who you consider a close friend?
370
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:24,877
I don't count.
371
00:14:24,879 --> 00:14:29,098
Well, there is one person
I have a lot of history with.
372
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,183
Hey, pal, what's up?
373
00:14:33,553 --> 00:14:35,838
♪ Men. ♪
374
00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:39,942
Hey, don't forget to declare
the routine global.
375
00:14:39,944 --> 00:14:43,813
Yeah, do I look like
my e-mail address is at AOL.com?
376
00:14:43,815 --> 00:14:45,898
Man, I've had to pee
for, like, an hour.
377
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,683
I've had to pee for two hours.
378
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:48,818
If you really have to go,
379
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:49,952
there's a bathroom
down the hallway.
380
00:14:49,954 --> 00:14:51,037
Oh, hey, I can hold it.
381
00:14:51,039 --> 00:14:52,187
If you have to use it though,
go right ahead.
382
00:14:52,189 --> 00:14:54,123
Oh, no, I can hold it.
383
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,124
All right, fine.
384
00:14:58,028 --> 00:15:00,262
You really are a competitive
son of a bitch, aren't you?
385
00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:02,631
Hey, don't rag on me just 'cause
you have a girlie bladder.
386
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:04,867
We'll see who's got
the girlie bladder.
387
00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:07,036
Oh, okay.
Well, all right.
388
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:24,537
I don't have to cross my legs.
389
00:15:25,772 --> 00:15:28,157
I don't have to cross
my legs, either.
390
00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:58,604
You know what,
I think I'm going to
391
00:15:58,606 --> 00:16:03,676
print this routine as a backup.
392
00:16:03,678 --> 00:16:06,729
Control... P.
393
00:16:06,731 --> 00:16:09,065
That's a good idea.
394
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:13,903
I think I'm gonna print up
all of my routines.
395
00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:16,238
P-P-P...
396
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,940
P-P...
P...
397
00:16:17,942 --> 00:16:18,974
P-P!
P...
398
00:16:18,976 --> 00:16:20,376
♪ Men. ♪
399
00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:21,443
Soup?
400
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:22,695
Why'd you bring me soup?
401
00:16:22,697 --> 00:16:23,496
'Cause you're sick.
402
00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:24,547
Oh, right.
403
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,632
Thank you.
404
00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:30,136
And let's face it,
405
00:16:30,138 --> 00:16:31,921
friends should take care
of each other.
406
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,122
We're friends?
407
00:16:33,124 --> 00:16:34,256
Oh, come on, Berta.
408
00:16:34,258 --> 00:16:35,975
How many years
have we known each other?
409
00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:37,643
That-That's got to count
for something.
410
00:16:37,645 --> 00:16:40,629
You have been in my life
longer than both my husbands
411
00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:42,348
and most of my underwear.
412
00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:45,384
Come here, friend.
413
00:16:45,386 --> 00:16:47,236
Now we're hugging friends.
414
00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:51,390
Those hands start to wander,
this friendship is over.
415
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:54,610
Excuse me.
416
00:16:54,612 --> 00:16:56,829
You know, that's-that's
what I love about you.
417
00:16:56,831 --> 00:16:58,864
You know, the salty
sense of humor,
418
00:16:58,866 --> 00:16:59,982
poking fun at me.
419
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,750
That's the glue
that binds us together.
420
00:17:01,752 --> 00:17:03,953
Right.
421
00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:08,374
Gracias.
422
00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:11,160
Adios.
423
00:17:11,162 --> 00:17:12,495
What was that?
424
00:17:12,497 --> 00:17:14,630
It's Mexican Halloween.
425
00:17:19,519 --> 00:17:23,005
So, listen, friend, I wonder
if you'd do me a little favor.
426
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:24,557
Uh, sure, name it.
427
00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:27,726
I need you to go
to this address,
428
00:17:27,728 --> 00:17:31,280
ask for Shermie
and give him this envelope.
429
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:32,398
Oh, happy to.
430
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,533
No one else, only Shermie.
431
00:17:34,535 --> 00:17:35,901
Okay.
432
00:17:35,903 --> 00:17:37,036
Who's Shermie?
433
00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,038
Just a guy I owe some money to.
434
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,022
So this is the money.
435
00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,874
Most of it.
436
00:17:50,468 --> 00:17:52,218
Ow! Oh! Okay...
437
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:55,054
Okay.
438
00:17:58,125 --> 00:17:59,793
Sometimes peeing's
better than sex.
439
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:01,344
Absolutely.
440
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:02,962
Although, when I was
smoking crack,
441
00:18:02,964 --> 00:18:06,182
a lot of times peeing and sex
were the same thing.
442
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:10,353
Hey, uh, while we're
on the subject...
443
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,421
What, peeing?
444
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,772
No, sex.
445
00:18:12,774 --> 00:18:14,107
Something you should know.
446
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:15,308
About sex?
447
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:16,443
I think I'm okay.
448
00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:18,594
Yeah, we've all seen
the python.
449
00:18:21,449 --> 00:18:23,433
What can I tell you,
it's factory equipment.
450
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,901
Right, great, no.
451
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,035
It's about your ex-wife.
452
00:18:26,037 --> 00:18:27,303
What, Bridget?
453
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:30,490
Yeah, I'm, uh...
kinda sleeping with her.
454
00:18:30,492 --> 00:18:31,791
What?!
455
00:18:31,793 --> 00:18:34,711
Hey, watch where
you're pointing that thing!
456
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,579
When did this start?
457
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:38,281
Well, you know I always had
a thing for her.
458
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,084
And when you guys broke up,
I took her out, you know,
459
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:42,618
gave her a shoulder to cry on,
460
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,472
and she just kind of
worked her way down.
461
00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:48,508
So when she called me
about you...?
462
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:50,059
I was there.
463
00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:51,795
Oh, man.
464
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,730
Hey, I wasn't listening.
465
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:56,099
Her thighs were
covering my ears.
466
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,684
Oh, you son
of a bitch!
467
00:18:57,686 --> 00:18:58,902
Hey! Okay, okay!
468
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,019
Hey, hey, hey!
469
00:19:00,021 --> 00:19:01,287
Hey!
Don't! Don't!
470
00:19:01,289 --> 00:19:02,906
I swear to God, Shermie!
471
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,491
That's all she gave me!
472
00:19:06,494 --> 00:19:09,028
Oh, crap, oh, crap,
oh, crap, oh, crap.
473
00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:10,246
Ah.
474
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,615
Oh, crap, oh, crap.
475
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,117
♪ Men. ♪
476
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,481
You still mad
about me and Bridget?
477
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:25,349
I hate your guts.
478
00:19:25,351 --> 00:19:28,535
Good, that's what
I was going for.
479
00:19:34,626 --> 00:19:35,626
Hey.
480
00:19:35,628 --> 00:19:38,078
What... what happened
to your pants?
481
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,913
Uh, I had a little accident.
482
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:41,165
Um...
483
00:19:41,167 --> 00:19:42,966
Why are you wearing robes?
484
00:19:42,968 --> 00:19:46,036
Uh, we had
a little accident, too.
485
00:19:47,339 --> 00:19:49,640
H-H-How are you guys doing?
486
00:19:49,642 --> 00:19:51,308
Oh, hey, we're good, man.
487
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:53,811
We're about to, uh,
about to test the first module.
488
00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:55,262
Walden, would you do the honors?
489
00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:56,480
Oh, no, please.
490
00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:57,681
No, it was your vision.
491
00:19:57,683 --> 00:19:59,349
Yeah, but it was your expertise.
492
00:19:59,351 --> 00:20:01,769
Yeah, but I'm banging
your ex-wife.
493
00:20:01,771 --> 00:20:06,006
All the while wondering
if she misses the python.
494
00:20:06,008 --> 00:20:07,474
Press the damn button.
495
00:20:07,476 --> 00:20:08,659
Fine.
496
00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:13,146
Behold the birth
497
00:20:13,148 --> 00:20:17,668
of The Stanhope-Schmidt
Electric Suitcase.
498
00:20:19,237 --> 00:20:21,154
Yes!
Yes!
499
00:20:23,826 --> 00:20:25,175
That's it?
500
00:20:25,177 --> 00:20:27,160
I mean,
I have an iPhone app
501
00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:29,346
that'll turn out
the house lights.
502
00:20:29,348 --> 00:20:31,348
No, no, no, no.
It's much more than that.
503
00:20:31,350 --> 00:20:32,399
Name a state.
504
00:20:32,401 --> 00:20:34,551
Engorged.
505
00:20:36,521 --> 00:20:37,521
Oh, okay.
506
00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:38,689
Uh, Florida.
507
00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:43,360
Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, guys,
508
00:20:43,362 --> 00:20:44,328
I just don't get it.
509
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,763
I'm going to bed.
510
00:20:45,765 --> 00:20:47,064
Oh, try Canada.
511
00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:48,766
Lights "oot."
512
00:20:52,404 --> 00:20:55,539
Okay, now... the master switch.
513
00:20:56,408 --> 00:21:00,163
Awesome!