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<i>Previously on Two And A Half Men...</i>

2
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Hey, Alan,
meet my mother, Robin.

3
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- Nice to meet you, Alan.
- Likewise.

4
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I know what I want for
Christmas.

5
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- Bridget?
- I can't sign the divorce papers.

6
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I love you, and
I want you back.

7
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I want you so badly.

8
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I... want you, too.

9
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I don't think it's a good
idea to sleep with you,

10
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since I started seeing
someone new,

11
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and I think she might
be the real deal.

12
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Not that you weren't the
real deal; you're just

13
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the ex-real deal, and
she's the next real deal.

14
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I can't believe you waited till
I was half-naked in your bed

15
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to tell me you were seeing
someone else.

16
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Kinda hard to bring up while
you're taking off my pants.

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Go to hell, you son of a bitch!

18
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That didn't go
as well as I'd hoped.

19
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I wouldn't worry about it.

20
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She doesn't look like the
type to carry a grudge.

21
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♪ Men... ♪

22
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Oops.

23
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What?

24
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Nothing.

25
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A social media company I
invested in just went belly-up.

26
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Oh, no. How much
did you invest?

27
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I don't know.
About $80 million.

28
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$80 million...?!

29
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Eh, give or take.
Mostly took.

30
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And-And you consider losing that
kind of money an "oops"?

31
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Yeah.

32
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No, no, no. "Oops" is when you
clip your toenails

33
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too close and they bleed.

34
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"Oops" is when you mistake

35
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toothpaste for lubricant.

36
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"Oops" is when you thought a
fart in the elevator

37
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was going to be silent.

38
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You've mistaken toothpaste for
lubricant?

39
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Just once.

40
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Stung like hell, but my penis
was minty fresh.

41
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Wait, how do you know
it was minty fresh?

42
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Years of yoga and loneliness.

43
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- Uh-oh.
- What?

44
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Ex-wife.

45
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Uh, see that's
the correct use of the "uh-oh."

46
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Hello, Bridget.

47
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Yeah, I just saw.

48
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Yes, I know
half the money is yours.

49
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Was yours.

50
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:17,662
Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way,

51
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but I'm still the president of
the company

52
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and I can invest the money any
way I want.

53
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What do you mean,
"We'll see about that"?

54
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Well, I can't do that, Bridget.

55
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But apparently, Alan can.

56
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H-Hello? Bridget...

57
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"Uh-oh"?

58
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"Oh, crap."

59
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Oh... crap.

60
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Yeah, that's better.

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♪ Men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪

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♪ Men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

63
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♪Men, men, men, men, manly men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

64
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♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪

65
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♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men ♪

66
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♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪

67
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♪ Men. ♪
Okay, Bridget...

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you've got your board meeting,
but I don't see the point.

69
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The stock of the company is
divided between the three of us,

70
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and obviously my mother is going
to vote with me.

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Are you sure about that?

72
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Of course I am. Right, Mom?

73
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Well darling,
you know I love you.

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Oh, crap.

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The fact is, you have been

76
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burning through a lot
of money recently.

77
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It's my money to burn through!

78
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I can't believe you turned my
own mother against me.

79
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We're just looking out for
everyone's best interest.

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Sweetie, no one is against you.

81
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With all due respect, Robin,
I'm against him.

82
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Now, I'd like to propose that
Walden Schmidt be removed

83
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as president of Walden
Loves Bridget Enterprises,

84
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and going forward all
financial decisions

85
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will be made by a
majority vote of the board.

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You're kicking me
out of my own company?!

87
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You'll still have
a vote on the board.

88
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- All in favor.
- Aye.

89
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- Aye.
- Naaaay!

90
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,661
Motion is passed.
Aye.

91
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Come on, Mom!

92
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,548
I'm sorry, sweetie,
it's for your own good.

93
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Next, I'd like to propose
doubling the budget

94
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of the Robin Schmidt Primate
Research Center.

95
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- Why would we double the bud...?
- Aye.

96
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:20,958
- Aye.
- Motion carried.

97
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I move that the
meeting be adjourned.

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Second it.

99
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- All in favor. Aye.
- Aye.

100
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Meeting adjourned.

101
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Okay, okay, okay, okay.

102
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This is... this is not over!

103
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I'm gonna get an attorney,
and I'm going to fight this!

104
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I thought I was your attorney.

105
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I'm sorry, Uncle Martin,
you're out.

106
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♪ Men... ♪

107
00:04:44,149 --> 00:04:46,867
What do you think, Counselor?
Can I fight 'em?

108
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,653
- I have a few questions first.
- Shoot.

109
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Walden Loves Bridget
Enterprises?

110
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What do you want from me?

111
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I had a billion dollars
and a constant erection.

112
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Fortunately, all you
lost in the divorce is

113
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the half a billion dollars.

114
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Okay, the first thing I
do when I get the company

115
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back is change the name.

116
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Yeah, well, be that as it may,
the fact remains that as long

117
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as it's just the three of you on
the board, they can outvote you.

118
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- Aw...
- But the good news is...

119
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- Yay.
- Let me finish.

120
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According to these bylaws,

121
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you as founder have
the unilateral right

122
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to name a fourth
person to the board.

123
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And in the case of a tie
vote, you also have the

124
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right to break that tie.

125
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So, if I put someone
on the board and the

126
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vote's two-two, I win.

127
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Right.

128
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You are very smart.

129
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,462
It's not
just a hat rack.

130
00:05:33,915 --> 00:05:36,700
Great. Hey, do you want to be on
the board of my company?

131
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I'll change the name
to Walden Loves Zoey, Inc.

132
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Thanks, but I don't think
it's a good idea

133
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to mix business and,
you know, genitalia.

134
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Okay. Well, will you at
least be my lawyer?

135
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Of course.

136
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I'm already screwing you.

137
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♪ Men. ♪

138
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So basically you have to
find a fourth board member

139
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who you can totally control.

140
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- Like a puppet.
- A patsy.

141
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A tool.
And would help

142
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if they're not terribly bright
when it comes to finance.

143
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Where am I going to find
somebody like that?

144
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♪ You're the one that I want,
you're the one that I want ♪

145
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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

146
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♪ The one that I want,
you're the one that want ♪

147
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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

148
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So, I've narrowed my
choices down to two.

149
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- ♪ You better shape up ♪
- Alan?

150
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♪ 'Cause need a man ♪

151
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♪ And my heart is set on you ♪

152
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♪ Better shape up ♪

153
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♪ You better understand that my heart...♪
Al?

154
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,782
- Alan?
- Oh, golly.

155
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Whatcha doing?

156
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:47,738
Uh, well, there is a theory that
uh... wind resistance

157
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can be reduced by the removal
of body hair.

158
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What, are you running a
marathon?

159
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,779
Yeah, why else would I be
shaving my legs?

160
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Because I like the way it feels?
What's up?

161
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How would you like to be on
the board of my company?

162
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,675
Oh... Are you kidding?
I would like nothing more

163
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,560
than to be on the board
of your company.

164
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Good.

165
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- Just one question.
- Yeah?

166
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,298
What exactly does it mean to be?

167
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:17,067
Basically, all you got to do is
vote with me

168
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:20,187
so I can take back control from
ex-wife and my mother.

169
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,306
Oh, hey, anything I can do

170
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,358
to stick it to ex-wives and
mothers, I'm there.

171
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,244
- Thanks.
- Uh, uh...Just out of curiosity,

172
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:30,480
um, is there an honorarium
or a stipend

173
00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:32,166
for members of the board?

174
00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:33,834
Nothing to speak of.
Oh.

175
00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:35,002
$50,000 a year.

176
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Sorry.

177
00:07:39,475 --> 00:07:42,509
I'm celebrating out of both ends
of my body.

178
00:07:42,511 --> 00:07:44,044
I shudder to think what would
have happened

179
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,662
if I'd have said
a hundred thousand.

180
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We would've had
to drain the tub.

181
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Well, anyway, it's great to know
you're on my team.

182
00:07:50,836 --> 00:07:53,220
Oh, absolutely.
You can count on me.

183
00:07:55,006 --> 00:07:57,691
Got a lot of wind
resistance down there?

184
00:07:59,394 --> 00:08:00,811
Not anymore.

185
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,897
♪ Men. ♪

186
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:10,107
♪ Men. ♪

187
00:08:10,109 --> 00:08:11,479
What's the
point of this, Walden?

188
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,997
You know we're just gonna
outvote you again.

189
00:08:13,999 --> 00:08:15,615
For your own good, sweetie.

190
00:08:15,617 --> 00:08:18,318
Thanks, Mom.
But before we get to voting,

191
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,922
I'd like to introduce you to
Zoey Hyde-Tottingham-Pierce,

192
00:08:21,924 --> 00:08:24,674
my new attorney
and sex partner.

193
00:08:27,712 --> 00:08:29,399
My card just says "attorney."

194
00:08:30,182 --> 00:08:32,766
What's he doing here?

195
00:08:32,768 --> 00:08:34,551
Wanna tell 'em, Alan?

196
00:08:34,553 --> 00:08:36,570
Mmm. Hold on.

197
00:08:36,572 --> 00:08:38,021
Lox.

198
00:08:39,607 --> 00:08:41,858
Walden put me on the board.

199
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,426
You can't do that!

200
00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:45,529
Oh, but I can.

201
00:08:46,447 --> 00:08:48,681
Sock it to 'em, babe.

202
00:08:48,683 --> 00:08:50,951
These are the corporate bylaws

203
00:08:50,953 --> 00:08:54,354
of... Walden Loves Bridget
Enterprises.

204
00:08:54,356 --> 00:08:56,623
I told you I'm
gonna change the name.

205
00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:58,742
I call your attention
to page five,

206
00:08:58,744 --> 00:09:00,527
paragraph four, subparagraph B.

207
00:09:00,529 --> 00:09:02,245
It states that Walden,
as founder,

208
00:09:02,247 --> 00:09:03,380
has the unrestricted right

209
00:09:03,382 --> 00:09:05,532
to name one additional
board member.

210
00:09:05,534 --> 00:09:07,367
Really looking forward
to working with you.

211
00:09:07,369 --> 00:09:09,669
Aye.

212
00:09:09,671 --> 00:09:10,837
Alan, wait till there's a vote.

213
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:12,856
Oh, okay.
Um, you know, there's no way

214
00:09:12,858 --> 00:09:14,541
we're gonna finish
all this food.

215
00:09:14,543 --> 00:09:16,977
We should really get some Ziploc
baggies and take it home.

216
00:09:16,979 --> 00:09:18,762
Not now, Alan.

217
00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:21,198
Oh, let me just get it out of
the sun.

218
00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:26,236
Okay, I would like to move that
I be reinstated as president.

219
00:09:26,238 --> 00:09:28,772
All in favor? Aye.

220
00:09:30,441 --> 00:09:32,192
Alan?

221
00:09:32,194 --> 00:09:35,745
- Now?
- Now.

222
00:09:36,564 --> 00:09:38,281
Walden, why are
you doing this?

223
00:09:38,283 --> 00:09:40,071
Bridget and I are just
going to vote no and then

224
00:09:40,096 --> 00:09:41,296
you're going to have a tie.

225
00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:44,838
<i>Au contraire, mon frère.</i>

226
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,072
Counselor?

227
00:09:46,074 --> 00:09:48,925
In the event of a tie vote,
Walden Thoreau Schmidt,

228
00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:51,511
as company founder, has the
unlimited right to cast

229
00:09:51,513 --> 00:09:54,180
an additional vote
to break said tie.

230
00:09:54,182 --> 00:09:57,217
Boo-yah!

231
00:09:57,219 --> 00:10:00,554
Hold on. I am not voting until
my lawyer looks at this.

232
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:01,521
Me neither.

233
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:03,273
Suit yourself.

234
00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:04,808
This isn't over, Walden.

235
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,976
Love you, sweetie.

236
00:10:05,978 --> 00:10:07,360
Love you too, Mom.

237
00:10:08,279 --> 00:10:11,231
Hey, Walden,
what's the company policy

238
00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:12,983
on board members
dating each other?

239
00:10:12,985 --> 00:10:14,618
You want to date
my ex-wife?

240
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,269
No, no, that would be weird.

241
00:10:16,271 --> 00:10:17,704
My mother?

242
00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:20,790
No, no.

243
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,442
Then what are
you talking about?

244
00:10:22,444 --> 00:10:25,111
I just wanna be clear
on the policy.

245
00:10:25,113 --> 00:10:27,664
Last thing we need
is a sexual harassment lawsuit.

246
00:10:27,666 --> 00:10:30,550
Am I right, sweet cheeks?

247
00:10:32,553 --> 00:10:35,088
♪ Men. ♪

248
00:10:40,011 --> 00:10:41,428
Hi. Can I get
you something?

249
00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:43,396
Uh, yes, I am
celebrating a new job.

250
00:10:43,398 --> 00:10:44,964
What's your most
expensive drink?

251
00:10:44,966 --> 00:10:47,934
We have a Pierre Benoit cognac
for a thousand dollars a shot.

252
00:10:47,936 --> 00:10:50,904
Good to know.
I'll have a light beer.

253
00:10:52,406 --> 00:10:53,406
Hello, Alan.

254
00:10:53,408 --> 00:10:54,407
Oh, hi.

255
00:10:54,409 --> 00:10:55,775
Hi, Alan.

256
00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:58,311
Oh, Bridget. Hi.

257
00:10:58,313 --> 00:10:59,779
Isn't this a happy
coincidence,

258
00:10:59,781 --> 00:11:02,365
the three of us running
into each other?

259
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,984
Listen, ladies,
with all due respect,

260
00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:06,336
I've been instructed
not to discuss

261
00:11:06,338 --> 00:11:08,088
any company business outside
of the boardroom.

262
00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,256
What makes you think
we want to talk about business?

263
00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:11,491
Aw, come on.

264
00:11:11,493 --> 00:11:12,709
I may have been born yesterday,

265
00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:14,661
but I was up late last night.

266
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:18,348
What does that
even mean?

267
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,166
It means...

268
00:11:21,719 --> 00:11:23,887
I don't know.
I heard it in a movie.

269
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:25,138
May I help you ladies?

270
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,523
I'll have
a Pierre Benoit cognac.

271
00:11:26,525 --> 00:11:27,891
Oh, make that two.

272
00:11:27,893 --> 00:11:29,842
Separate checks.

273
00:11:31,062 --> 00:11:34,614
Alan, isn't there
any way we can work

274
00:11:34,616 --> 00:11:35,949
together on this
board vote?

275
00:11:35,951 --> 00:11:37,350
I'm sorry, but I'm loyal
to your son.

276
00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:38,985
Well, so am I.

277
00:11:38,987 --> 00:11:41,071
I'm trying to protect
him from himself.

278
00:11:41,073 --> 00:11:43,073
And I would think an
intelligent, successful,

279
00:11:43,075 --> 00:11:45,959
good-looking man like
would see that.

280
00:11:45,961 --> 00:11:47,544
Well, that's very flattering,

281
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:50,497
but I'm afraid
you've overplayed your hand.

282
00:11:50,499 --> 00:11:52,865
No one would call me successful.

283
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,337
Forget it, Robin.

284
00:11:57,339 --> 00:11:58,805
I knew he wouldn't go for it.

285
00:11:58,807 --> 00:11:59,756
I'll call you later.

286
00:11:59,758 --> 00:12:01,558
Okay.

287
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,543
Eh, we had to try.

288
00:12:03,545 --> 00:12:06,546
I understand-- there's
a lot money at stake.

289
00:12:08,432 --> 00:12:11,851
Mmm! That's what
I always imagined

290
00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:14,187
Gisele Bundchen
would taste like.

291
00:12:15,523 --> 00:12:17,724
What do you say we
forget about business

292
00:12:17,726 --> 00:12:19,325
and just enjoy the evening?

293
00:12:19,327 --> 00:12:21,995
Well, I'm all for
enjoying the evening,

294
00:12:21,997 --> 00:12:24,397
but your hand is on
my business.

295
00:12:24,399 --> 00:12:27,333
Would you like me
to move it?

296
00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:29,836
Yes.

297
00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:33,423
Slowly and in
a circular fashion.

298
00:12:36,093 --> 00:12:39,012
<i>♪ Men. ♪</i>

299
00:12:41,549 --> 00:12:42,599
Hey.

300
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:45,185
Hey. Where you been?

301
00:12:45,187 --> 00:12:47,053
Just going out clothes shopping.

302
00:12:47,055 --> 00:12:49,973
Can't be a corporate board
member wearing khakis

303
00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:52,559
and polo shirt
I got at a swap meet

304
00:12:52,561 --> 00:12:55,261
from some
dead guy's wife, right?

305
00:12:55,263 --> 00:12:57,096
Nice!

306
00:12:57,098 --> 00:12:58,448
Is that Barney's?

307
00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:00,933
Sears.

308
00:13:02,369 --> 00:13:03,903
What are you doing?

309
00:13:03,905 --> 00:13:05,572
I'm just looking over
this mobile gaming startup

310
00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:07,824
I want to invest in
when I get my company back.

311
00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:09,993
Right, right.

312
00:13:09,995 --> 00:13:13,747
Oh, did you see the look
on my mom's face

313
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,114
when I sprung you on her?

314
00:13:15,116 --> 00:13:17,667
Actually, I wasn't looking
at her face when I...

315
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,502
sprung.

316
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:22,255
And-And why do you even want
to invest in more companies?

317
00:13:22,257 --> 00:13:24,758
You've got me money than
you're ever gonna use.

318
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,642
So?

319
00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:28,178
So maybe it's time
to move on.

320
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:30,129
You know, do something else.

321
00:13:30,131 --> 00:13:31,848
Learn to dance.

322
00:13:34,435 --> 00:13:36,920
Since when do you care
about how I spend my money?

323
00:13:36,922 --> 00:13:39,239
Well, technically,
it's the company's money,

324
00:13:39,241 --> 00:13:41,140
and now that I'm on
the board,

325
00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:42,992
I have a fiduciary duty
to the stockholders.

326
00:13:42,994 --> 00:13:44,410
Fiduciary duty.

327
00:13:44,412 --> 00:13:45,829
You're adorable.

328
00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:48,448
I'm serious--
you need to slow down

329
00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,983
on the spending
for your own good.

330
00:13:50,985 --> 00:13:52,702
Wait a minute.

331
00:13:52,704 --> 00:13:55,622
You haven't by chance been
talking to my mother

332
00:13:55,624 --> 00:13:57,090
and my ex-wife, have you?

333
00:13:57,092 --> 00:13:59,375
What?! Me?!

334
00:13:59,377 --> 00:14:02,178
Talk?! Them?!

335
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,380
What?!

336
00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:06,015
Because if you're
not gonna support me,

337
00:14:06,017 --> 00:14:08,134
there are plenty of other people
who would be happy

338
00:14:08,136 --> 00:14:10,103
to take place
and your $50,000 stipend.

339
00:14:10,105 --> 00:14:12,004
Now, hold on--
I think I bring

340
00:14:12,006 --> 00:14:13,606
a unique skill set
to the table.

341
00:14:13,608 --> 00:14:15,859
Jake, do you want to be on
the board of my company?!

342
00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:17,176
Hell, yeah!

343
00:14:17,178 --> 00:14:19,946
Oh, come on.
I'm smarter than him!

344
00:14:19,948 --> 00:14:21,948
Listen, Alan, I put you on

345
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,566
the board of my company
for a reason,

346
00:14:23,568 --> 00:14:25,618
and I need to know
you have my back.

347
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,837
Of course I have your back.

348
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:32,075
What could possibly make me
even consider betraying you?

349
00:14:32,993 --> 00:14:35,245
What...?

350
00:14:36,747 --> 00:14:38,364
Great.

351
00:14:45,039 --> 00:14:46,723
Certainly not some
expensive cognac

352
00:14:46,725 --> 00:14:49,259
and a happy ending in
the men's room.

353
00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:52,178
<i>♪ Men. ♪</i>

354
00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:55,047
So, Alan, are we all set
for tomorrow's board meeting?

355
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:57,600
Boy, I want to say yes...

356
00:14:57,602 --> 00:14:59,018
What do you mean?

357
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,403
I thought we had
an understanding.

358
00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:04,524
Gee, I wish I
could say we do...

359
00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:07,160
Alan, sweetie,
are you saying

360
00:15:07,162 --> 00:15:11,748
that we can't count on you?

361
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,867
I knew it!
Walden got to him.

362
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:16,169
Hang on, Bridget.
He's a reasonable man.

363
00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:17,904
Right, Alan?

364
00:15:17,906 --> 00:15:19,205
That's not gonna work.

365
00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:22,625
I masturbated three times
before got here.

366
00:15:24,011 --> 00:15:25,912
All right, let's cut
to the chase.

367
00:15:25,914 --> 00:15:28,431
What would it take to make you
change your mind?

368
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:30,600
Oh, really?
You want to play that game?

369
00:15:30,602 --> 00:15:31,751
Okay...

370
00:15:31,753 --> 00:15:34,587
How about
a brand-new red Porsche?

371
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,985
I just love being inside you.

372
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,655
Hi.

373
00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:54,040
Hey, hi.

374
00:15:54,042 --> 00:15:55,491
That's a nice car.

375
00:15:55,493 --> 00:15:57,126
Oh, well, uh,

376
00:15:57,128 --> 00:16:01,447
that's what you get when
you save your nickels.

377
00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:04,133
That's three million
nickels, Alan.

378
00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:06,970
It's a lease?

379
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:09,088
Is there something
you want to tell me

380
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,390
about the board meeting
tomorrow?

381
00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:14,811
I'm weak.

382
00:16:15,846 --> 00:16:18,064
I'm so very weak.

383
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,018
It's okay.

384
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,570
That's why I chose you.

385
00:16:28,325 --> 00:16:30,193
All right, there's
a motion on the table.

386
00:16:30,195 --> 00:16:31,661
Shall Walden Schmidt
be restored to president

387
00:16:31,663 --> 00:16:34,030
of Walden Loves Bridget
Enterprises?

388
00:16:35,332 --> 00:16:37,367
Right after the meeting,
I'm changing the name.

389
00:16:37,369 --> 00:16:38,334
Thank you.

390
00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:39,485
I vote nay.

391
00:16:39,487 --> 00:16:40,486
Nay.

392
00:16:40,488 --> 00:16:41,871
Aye.

393
00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:49,161
Aye.

394
00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:51,631
What?
Are you kidding me?!

395
00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:54,434
Okay, okay, if it
makes you feel any better,

396
00:16:54,436 --> 00:16:56,602
you're not the first women
I've disappointed.

397
00:16:57,554 --> 00:17:00,473
Here, you can have the car back.

398
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,841
It's out of gas.

399
00:17:03,027 --> 00:17:05,028
And unfortunately, Robin,

400
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:09,015
I can't return what you gave me,
but I really enjoyed it.

401
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,735
I should have known
you had a hand in this.

402
00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:19,125
All right, I use my founder's
vote to break the tie,

403
00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,461
I am reinstated
as president,

404
00:17:21,463 --> 00:17:23,129
and as my first
official act,

405
00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:25,882
I would like to change
the name of the company

406
00:17:25,884 --> 00:17:29,201
to Walden Loves Alan
Enterprises.

407
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:30,703
Oh!

408
00:17:32,389 --> 00:17:34,424
This meeting's adjourned.
Shall we?

409
00:17:34,426 --> 00:17:35,758
With pleasure.

410
00:17:36,593 --> 00:17:38,928
Oh, it was lovely
to see you again.

411
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:46,385
Hey, hey, hey!

412
00:17:46,387 --> 00:17:48,104
<i>♪ Men. ♪</i>

413
00:17:57,406 --> 00:17:59,519
You know, as long
as we're in the business

414
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,436
of investing in
high-tech ideas--

415
00:18:01,438 --> 00:18:05,473
a while back, I invented
a little chiropractic device

416
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,809
that allows people
to adjust their own backs.

417
00:18:07,811 --> 00:18:08,860
No kidding?

418
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:11,246
Yeah. I call it
"Accu-Crack."

419
00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:12,531
Catchy.

420
00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:13,317
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

421
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:14,742
Only problem is there's
a caulking gun,

422
00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:17,786
a reggae band and a porn site
with the same name.

423
00:18:17,788 --> 00:18:19,504
Why don't you just change
the name?

424
00:18:19,506 --> 00:18:21,123
Mm-- I would,

425
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,792
but I already printed out
30,000 brochures.

426
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:25,844
Well, tell me about the product.

427
00:18:25,846 --> 00:18:26,878
How does it work?

428
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,163
Oh, really, really simple.

429
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:30,332
It's two hard rubber balls
attached to a stick

430
00:18:30,334 --> 00:18:33,051
that you lay on and move
up and down your spine.

431
00:18:34,354 --> 00:18:35,520
How is that high-tech?

432
00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:40,342
Uh... we'd sell it
over the Internet?

433
00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:42,894
Well, I'll certainly
consider it.

434
00:18:42,896 --> 00:18:43,812
Really?

435
00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:45,063
Please don't push this, Alan.

436
00:18:45,065 --> 00:18:47,515
Oh, oh!

437
00:18:48,952 --> 00:18:50,035
As agreed upon.

438
00:18:50,037 --> 00:18:52,237
Oh, oh, is this what
I think it is?

439
00:18:52,239 --> 00:18:53,322
Yeah, a deal's a deal.

440
00:18:53,324 --> 00:18:55,324
I get your vote on the board
of my company,

441
00:18:55,326 --> 00:18:57,409
you get your name on the deed
to the house.

442
00:18:57,411 --> 00:18:58,994
Oh, my God.

443
00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:00,045
Congratulations.

444
00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:01,413
Does this mean
I can borrow against it?

445
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:02,881
- No.
- Sell it?

446
00:19:02,883 --> 00:19:04,299
- No.
- Have the big bedroom upstairs?

447
00:19:04,301 --> 00:19:05,367
No.

448
00:19:05,369 --> 00:19:06,501
Can I tell women it's my house?

449
00:19:06,503 --> 00:19:09,087
Why would you stop now?

450
00:19:12,058 --> 00:19:14,092
Life is good.

451
00:19:18,147 --> 00:19:20,048
Ooh! Oops!

452
00:19:20,984 --> 00:19:22,217
Uh-oh...

453
00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:23,819
Oh, crap! Oh, crap!
Oh, crap! Oh, crap!

454
00:19:23,821 --> 00:19:25,720
Oh, crap! Oh, crap!
Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!