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NARRATOR:
<i>Previously on</i> Two and a Half Men:

2
00:00:03,255 --> 00:00:04,453
MAN:
- Now come to be joined.

3
00:00:05,007 --> 00:00:06,169
Rose and Manfred...

4
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She's really doing it.

5
00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:11,546
- Rose is getting married.
- And we're clear.

6
00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:13,845
Yep. That ought to do it.

7
00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:15,426
Thanks, Freddie.

8
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,056
Who moves you, Rose, him or me?

9
00:00:18,228 --> 00:00:22,012
- I love Manny.
- Fine. You just say the word and I'll go.

10
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- Time's up.
- Mm.

11
00:00:26,862 --> 00:00:29,353
I am willing to let you
get in on the ground floor...

12
00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:31,737
of an amazing business opportunity.

13
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- How much is this gonna cost me?
- Five thousand dollars.

14
00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:38,445
Okay, I'll give you the 5 grand,
knowing that I'll never see it again...

15
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:40,118
and wishing that it was you.

16
00:00:40,292 --> 00:00:42,747
- How much?
- I think I'll need...

17
00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:45,710
- Ten thousand dollars.
- All right.

18
00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:49,713
- Although I could make due... All right?
- How much are we talking about?

19
00:00:49,885 --> 00:00:52,590
- Fifteen thousand.
- Hang on, I'll get my checkbook.

20
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Tell you what. Let it ride.

21
00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:56,261
Really?

22
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,805
A 20 percent return
in a couple of weeks? Come on.

23
00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:03,354
So, listen, can anybody
get in on this deal of yours?

24
00:01:06,610 --> 00:01:09,979
You ask for money
and they just give it to you.

25
00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:12,611
And then you take
the new money and use it...

26
00:01:12,783 --> 00:01:15,949
to pay back some of the old money,
but they don't want it back.

27
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:19,369
And they give you more.
Because they're greedy.

28
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Oh, God, what have I done?

29
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Hi. I'd like a Jumbo Jack
and an apple turnover.

30
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[WINDOW OPENS]

31
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Do you want fries with that?

32
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:52,187
Sorry. I didn't realize
there was anybody in there. Um...

33
00:01:53,073 --> 00:01:54,900
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned?

34
00:01:55,409 --> 00:01:57,200
Are you asking me or telling me?

35
00:01:58,328 --> 00:02:01,780
Telling you? I'm sorry.
I'm just not really sure of the rules.

36
00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:03,499
When was your last confession?

37
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:06,205
Oh, wow, let's see. Uh, that would be...

38
00:02:06,378 --> 00:02:07,753
Never?

39
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:11,252
- Are you even Catholic?
- No, but I'm a big fan.

40
00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:17,012
The costumes, the music,
um, crackers and wine.

41
00:02:17,389 --> 00:02:19,428
That's the body and blood of our savior.

42
00:02:19,599 --> 00:02:22,055
I know. Mm-mm, good. Ha, ha.

43
00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:25,678
You guys ever think about putting that
in supermarkets like a Lunchable?

44
00:02:25,856 --> 00:02:27,683
What can I do for you, my son?

45
00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:29,400
Oh, right to it. Heh.

46
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:33,441
Okay, just to be clear,
what I tell you is between you and me.

47
00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:35,191
And the Lord.

48
00:02:35,365 --> 00:02:38,366
Sure, but I'm not worried
about him blabbing. You, I just met.

49
00:02:38,994 --> 00:02:40,986
Couldn't pick you out of a lineup.

50
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Whatever you say here is confidential.

51
00:02:44,374 --> 00:02:47,790
And I just drank a huge Arnold Palmer,
so could you get to it?

52
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:51,412
Absolutely, absolutely. Here it is.

53
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:53,629
Do you know what a Ponzi scheme is?

54
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,252
- I do. Are you an investment banker?
- No, I'm a chiropractor.

55
00:02:57,429 --> 00:03:01,261
A chiropractic Ponzi scheme.
Okay, you piqued my interest.

56
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:05,969
Okay, long story short, I chiseled
my family out of a lot of money...

57
00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:08,933
they're never gonna see again.
- You're feeling guilty.

58
00:03:09,107 --> 00:03:14,149
Bingo. Hey, bingo. Ha, ha.
That's your racket, right?

59
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:16,610
Yeah, that's us.

60
00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:20,780
You gotta like a God that's willing
to put the hustle on old ladies.

61
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:23,028
Arnold Palmer's on the 18th hole.

62
00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:24,747
Right, right, sorry, sorry.

63
00:03:24,915 --> 00:03:27,951
So I was hoping
that you could forgive me.

64
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:29,953
Are you prepared
to make restitution...

65
00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:32,833
and confess what you've done
to your family?

66
00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:34,714
Oh, God, no.

67
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:37,172
I was hoping you could give me
a few Hail Marys...

68
00:03:37,344 --> 00:03:40,428
and I could make a donation
to the Church's legal-defense fund.

69
00:03:40,597 --> 00:03:42,175
Win-win.

70
00:03:42,349 --> 00:03:43,891
That's not how absolution works.

71
00:03:44,059 --> 00:03:47,558
You have to make an act of contrition
and then do penance.

72
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- Do I get to keep the money?
- No.

73
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:57,311
Ah.

74
00:03:57,823 --> 00:03:59,531
Uh, you know what?

75
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,191
I'm just gonna mosey over
to Temple Beth Shalom...

76
00:04:02,369 --> 00:04:03,828
and see what their deal is.

77
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I'll get back to you.

78
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,956
<i>Oy vey.</i>

79
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[SINGING "TWO AND A HALF MEN"
THEME]

80
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Wow.

81
00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:45,327
Yeah.

82
00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:46,776
That was incredible.

83
00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:50,823
More than incredible.
It was transcendental.

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This is where I was always meant to be,
Rose. Right here in your arms.

85
00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:58,173
I'm so glad to hear you say that, Charlie.

86
00:04:58,967 --> 00:05:00,165
Now get out.

87
00:05:01,386 --> 00:05:04,257
- So soon?
- Manny will be home any minute.

88
00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:06,637
But I wanna cuddle.

89
00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:08,184
You want us to get caught?

90
00:05:09,186 --> 00:05:10,596
This isn't fair.

91
00:05:10,771 --> 00:05:13,937
The two of us sneaking around
so we can spend an hour together.

92
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:17,770
Well, what can I do? I have a husband.

93
00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:21,109
Let's go away for the weekend.
Just the two of us.

94
00:05:21,281 --> 00:05:22,360
Where?

95
00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:25,901
I don't care. Someplace where we can
walk down the street holding hands.

96
00:05:26,078 --> 00:05:28,403
Where we can laugh, play,
yell at the top of our lungs...

97
00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:32,198
and not care who hears.
- So Disneyland?

98
00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:36,370
I was thinking more in terms
of someplace with liquor, but...

99
00:05:36,546 --> 00:05:37,709
That's Manny's car.

100
00:05:37,881 --> 00:05:39,755
- I didn't hear anything.
- It's a Prius.

101
00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,877
Just think about it, okay?

102
00:05:44,054 --> 00:05:47,090
A romantic weekend
with nothing for us to do...

103
00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,803
but make love and be together.

104
00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:52,218
And, you know, drink.

105
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:55,971
Yay.

106
00:05:56,149 --> 00:06:00,229
After all these years,
I finally get a weekend with Charlie.

107
00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:04,231
Did you hear that, hubby?

108
00:06:04,658 --> 00:06:06,401
Up top.

109
00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:14,041
Think, damn it.

110
00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:17,168
There's gotta be a way
to lose the guilt and keep the money.

111
00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:18,416
There is.

112
00:06:20,507 --> 00:06:22,713
You've made
enough trouble for me already.

113
00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:23,999
Quit your bitching.

114
00:06:24,177 --> 00:06:27,546
And for God's sake, stop washing
your hands like Lady Macbeth.

115
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- I have to wash my hands. I just peed.
- So?

116
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:33,764
So, what if I don't wash
and then shake somebody's hand?

117
00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:36,855
Screw them.
They were probably picking their nose.

118
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:39,309
Now listen to me.
You've gotta grow a pair.

119
00:06:39,484 --> 00:06:40,979
Ah. I've got a pair.

120
00:06:41,153 --> 00:06:42,979
You've got a pair of panties.

121
00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:45,692
ALAN:
You can't talk to me like that.

122
00:06:45,866 --> 00:06:47,609
And stay away from that darn priest.

123
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:49,029
I need somebody to talk to.

124
00:06:49,202 --> 00:06:50,483
That's what I'm here for.

125
00:06:50,662 --> 00:06:52,287
Dad?

126
00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,535
Hey, buddy.

127
00:06:56,710 --> 00:07:00,410
- Is there somebody in there with you?
- Oh, no. Nobody but me. See.

128
00:07:01,173 --> 00:07:02,583
Then who were you talking to?

129
00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:05,041
Oh, uh, I was just singing.

130
00:07:05,218 --> 00:07:06,250
That wasn't singing.

131
00:07:06,428 --> 00:07:08,504
Who are you, Simon Cowell?

132
00:07:09,723 --> 00:07:11,929
- What do you want?
- I need to borrow 50 bucks.

133
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,559
Oh. Oh, sure.

134
00:07:13,727 --> 00:07:17,262
Me and Eldridge went to visit this friend
of ours who's in the hospital...

135
00:07:17,439 --> 00:07:21,816
but he forgot his book on the bus, so
I lent him mine but he lost that one too.

136
00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:24,357
I have to buy two math books
because he's broke.

137
00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:28,479
And there's this big math test coming up
and we were gonna study together for it.

138
00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:36,912
Oversold it, didn't I?

139
00:07:43,757 --> 00:07:46,758
[CHARLIE CHUCKLING]

140
00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:50,918
- What's funny?
- Rose is at a party with her husband...

141
00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:53,256
and she's sexting me
from under the table.

142
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:54,465
Sexting?

143
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:56,600
It's like regular texting,
but, you know, dirty.

144
00:07:56,770 --> 00:08:00,103
- Hmm.
- You see, that's not a smiley face.

145
00:08:00,273 --> 00:08:02,065
Charming. Um...

146
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:04,061
I need to talk to you about something.

147
00:08:04,236 --> 00:08:05,350
Yeah, sure. What's up?

148
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:06,987
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

149
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,444
Oh, you bad girl. Ha, ha.

150
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:12,364
You know that money you gave to me
to invest in my business?

151
00:08:12,536 --> 00:08:13,781
Yeah, what about it?

152
00:08:13,954 --> 00:08:15,578
Well, here's the thing.

153
00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:17,740
I know I said
I was gonna buy advertising...

154
00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:20,537
I told Rose
about how well you're doing for me...

155
00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:21,909
and now she wants in.

156
00:08:22,671 --> 00:08:25,506
- She does?
- Oh, yeah. And she's loaded too.

157
00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,045
Huh.

158
00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:30,586
- So, what did you wanna talk about?
- Uh...

159
00:08:35,017 --> 00:08:37,009
Just that we're making money
up the wazoo.

160
00:08:38,228 --> 00:08:40,933
So you're gonna need a bigger wazoo.

161
00:08:41,565 --> 00:08:42,596
That's great.

162
00:08:42,774 --> 00:08:44,185
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

163
00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:45,853
[CHARLIE CHUCKLES]

164
00:08:46,028 --> 00:08:47,937
Man, she's not wearing
any underwear.

165
00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:49,770
She texted you that?

166
00:08:49,948 --> 00:08:51,573
Sent me a picture.

167
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,236
Excuse me, but I gotta respond.

168
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:58,119
Uh, let me just give you some privacy.

169
00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,570
Where are you going?

170
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,742
Who's gonna take the picture?

171
00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:10,876
So, Rose, I appreciate your interest,
but things are going incredibly well.

172
00:09:11,053 --> 00:09:14,718
Yeah, I can barely handle
the volume of patients I have now.

173
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:16,630
Really?

174
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,219
Thirty thousand dollars?

175
00:09:18,393 --> 00:09:19,424
Take it. Take it.

176
00:09:19,603 --> 00:09:20,801
Shh, shh.

177
00:09:20,979 --> 00:09:22,010
We can get a new car.

178
00:09:22,189 --> 00:09:25,024
Maybe one with a working radio
and brakes.

179
00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:27,099
You know what, Rose?

180
00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:31,773
We've been friends a long time,
so I'm gonna make an exception here.

181
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:34,405
Ha, ha. You're welcome.

182
00:09:34,576 --> 00:09:36,652
Can you wire the money over today?

183
00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:39,319
I can give it to you right now.

184
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,571
Whoa.

185
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,624
You surprised me. Ahem.

186
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:45,751
Oh, Alan, Alan, Alan.

187
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:47,243
What are you doing?

188
00:09:47,464 --> 00:09:50,548
Oh, uh, what do you mean?
I'm just taking a break between patients.

189
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:53,880
Oh, uh, uh...

190
00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:56,343
Chiropractic x-ray glasses.

191
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,843
Cutting-edge stuff.

192
00:10:01,019 --> 00:10:03,261
Oh, please.
There's nobody in the waiting room.

193
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,105
You don't even have a receptionist.

194
00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:07,231
Oh, she's off. It's a Jewish holiday.

195
00:10:07,651 --> 00:10:08,682
Which one?

196
00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:12,400
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

197
00:10:14,574 --> 00:10:15,737
What are you doing here?

198
00:10:15,909 --> 00:10:19,159
Did you think I was gonna invest
without doing my due diligence?

199
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,238
Everybody else did.

200
00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:24,417
- Now I know what's really going on.
- No, you don't.

201
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:26,376
You're stealing from your own family.

202
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:29,338
Oh. I guess you do.

203
00:10:31,508 --> 00:10:32,788
Shame on you.

204
00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:38,755
A whistle-blower.

205
00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:42,054
This could be problematic.

206
00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:50,023
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
She's gonna tell Charlie.

207
00:10:50,193 --> 00:10:54,061
Charlie's gonna tell Mom,
then Berta, then Herb, then Judith.

208
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,908
Oh, my God, Judith.

209
00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:01,575
Gotta be something that I can do.
There's gotta be.

210
00:11:01,747 --> 00:11:05,198
You're on the toilet, why don't you
whip out your lady parts and tinkle?

211
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,284
You. This is all your fault.

212
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:12,165
I didn't hear you bellyaching when
you were watching 3-D beach babes.

213
00:11:12,341 --> 00:11:14,629
Excuse me, but I am about to go to jail.

214
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:17,173
You know what happens
to slender fellas in jail?

215
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,967
They usually hang themselves
after their first shower.

216
00:11:21,183 --> 00:11:22,214
But relax.

217
00:11:22,392 --> 00:11:24,599
Rose ain't gonna tell nobody nothing.

218
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:27,936
Way I see it, you've got
as much on her as she's got on you.

219
00:11:28,899 --> 00:11:31,224
You're right.
She's cheating on her husband.

220
00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:33,773
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

221
00:11:34,738 --> 00:11:36,280
She tells on me, I tell on her.

222
00:11:36,448 --> 00:11:38,405
Crisscross, apple sauce.

223
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,112
I got nothing to worry about.

224
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:44,204
Herky-jerky, where's your turkey?

225
00:11:44,956 --> 00:11:48,456
- Why do you keep talking like that?
- I'm looking for a catch phrase.

226
00:11:48,627 --> 00:11:53,621
BERTA: Zippy?
- Flimflam, you're in a jam.

227
00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:57,253
Oh, hey.

228
00:11:57,427 --> 00:12:01,555
- Somebody in there with you?
- Oh, no, no. Um, how can I help you?

229
00:12:01,723 --> 00:12:03,348
Just brought your clean towels.

230
00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:05,924
- What about my washcloths?
- I threw those away.

231
00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:08,226
- Why?
- Do you really have to ask?

232
00:12:12,818 --> 00:12:16,103
Miss you, kiss you, use a tissue.

233
00:12:24,663 --> 00:12:26,905
You're awfully quiet tonight.

234
00:12:30,502 --> 00:12:32,542
Now, don't look at me that way.

235
00:12:32,713 --> 00:12:35,251
You knew the deal when we got married.

236
00:12:38,135 --> 00:12:39,712
[DOORBELL RINGS]

237
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,385
Uh-oh. Shh.

238
00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:44,880
Who is it?

239
00:12:45,392 --> 00:12:47,634
It's Alan. We need to talk.

240
00:12:47,811 --> 00:12:50,267
Just a second.

241
00:12:52,899 --> 00:12:55,141
Let's go, Rose. I haven't got all night.

242
00:12:58,822 --> 00:13:00,316
What is wrong with you?

243
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,732
Manny is taking a nap on the deck.

244
00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:06,536
Maybe I need to wake him up
and have a little talk with him.

245
00:13:06,705 --> 00:13:07,867
About what?

246
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,824
You might be tempted to tell someone
about my little business venture.

247
00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:14,327
- You mean your Ponzi scheme?
- Knock it off, Rose.

248
00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:18,253
Unless you want me to tell your husband
you're having an affair with my brother.

249
00:13:18,425 --> 00:13:19,540
You wouldn't.

250
00:13:19,718 --> 00:13:22,291
Crisscross, apple sauce.

251
00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:24,966
What?

252
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:26,588
Doesn't matter.

253
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:29,436
The point is, if you tell, I'll tell.

254
00:13:29,603 --> 00:13:31,560
Go ahead. Tell him.

255
00:13:31,730 --> 00:13:34,055
If my husband leaves me,
I'll still have Charlie.

256
00:13:34,232 --> 00:13:38,182
But if I tell everyone what you've been
up to, what will you have?

257
00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:40,690
Crap.

258
00:13:41,281 --> 00:13:43,950
Oopsie-doopsie, watch your poopsie.

259
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,322
[BIRD SQUAWKING]

260
00:13:50,999 --> 00:13:53,075
There's a bird on your husband's head.

261
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:54,876
Yeah. So?

262
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:03,301
Crap.

263
00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:14,517
This is your husband?
This is Manny Quinn?

264
00:14:14,690 --> 00:14:17,477
Oh, my God, Manny Quinn.

265
00:14:17,651 --> 00:14:19,145
Your husband's a dummy.

266
00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:23,187
To be fair, he wasn't the one
fooled by a mannequin.

267
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:26,232
What do you use
to get bird poop off a husband?

268
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:28,319
Charlie thinks you're actually married.

269
00:14:28,495 --> 00:14:31,330
Uh, yeah, that's kind of the idea.

270
00:14:31,498 --> 00:14:35,163
- I'm not gonna let you scam him.
- I understand.

271
00:14:35,335 --> 00:14:38,669
What's that, Manny?
I hadn't even thought of that.

272
00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:41,211
Thought of what?
What are you saying?

273
00:14:41,383 --> 00:14:44,337
How much would you need
to pay back the money you stole?

274
00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:46,053
I didn't steal, they invested.

275
00:14:46,221 --> 00:14:48,427
- Fine. How much?
- Fifty thousand dollars.

276
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,840
Why don't you wait here
and I'll get my checkbook.

277
00:14:51,018 --> 00:14:55,561
Oh, no, no... I am loyal to my brother.
You can't buy my silence with a check.

278
00:14:55,731 --> 00:14:58,103
- You want cash?
- You have cash?

279
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,309
I mean, I won't betray Charlie.

280
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,945
You may have to kill him.

281
00:15:11,913 --> 00:15:13,953
Well, hey, what are you still doing here?

282
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:15,452
I need my money back.

283
00:15:16,043 --> 00:15:17,288
- Why?
- Just found out...

284
00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:20,034
two of my teenage
granddaughters are pregnant.

285
00:15:20,213 --> 00:15:22,787
- At the same time?
- By the same guy.

286
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:25,374
Long story short, I need cash, quick.

287
00:15:25,594 --> 00:15:28,963
- Um, okay. How much are we talking?
- All of it.

288
00:15:29,765 --> 00:15:31,971
- All of it?
- Is that a problem?

289
00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:36,687
No, no, it's not a problem. Um...

290
00:15:37,397 --> 00:15:42,143
If you want cash, you'll have to wait
till tomorrow so I can go to the bank.

291
00:15:42,361 --> 00:15:44,400
- Tomorrow's fine.
- Good, good.

292
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:47,572
Of course, you're gonna lose
quite a bit by pulling out early.

293
00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:52,948
Yeah, well, if Jimmy Lee had done
the same, I wouldn't need the money.

294
00:15:55,415 --> 00:15:57,408
Okay, tomorrow.

295
00:15:57,584 --> 00:15:59,327
Oh, boy.

296
00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:00,961
ALAN:
Don't panic.

297
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:03,498
In the toaster, numbnuts.

298
00:16:05,676 --> 00:16:06,956
Okay, Mr. Smart-Guy.

299
00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:10,131
How do you suggest I pay off Berta?
I spent all the money.

300
00:16:10,305 --> 00:16:12,761
- On what?
- Well, you know, clothing, jewelry...

301
00:16:12,933 --> 00:16:15,506
electronics, little lipo.

302
00:16:16,019 --> 00:16:17,050
Liposuction?

303
00:16:17,229 --> 00:16:19,102
I had a bit of a muffin top.

304
00:16:19,272 --> 00:16:22,357
You know, I actually feel a lot better
about myself now.

305
00:16:22,818 --> 00:16:25,772
Okay, well, then you're gonna
have to get another investor.

306
00:16:25,946 --> 00:16:30,193
- What about the goofy chick?
- Rose? She did offer me $50,000.

307
00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:31,784
Why didn't you take it?

308
00:16:31,952 --> 00:16:34,194
If I took it,
I would have to betray my brother.

309
00:16:34,413 --> 00:16:37,200
Hey, Alan. Who are you talking to?

310
00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:40,701
- Nobody. Want some toast?
- Maybe later.

311
00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:43,291
Check it out.
Two first-class tickets to Paris.

312
00:16:43,463 --> 00:16:45,041
We're going to Paris? Great idea.

313
00:16:45,215 --> 00:16:47,338
Can we leave before the banks
open tomorrow?

314
00:16:47,509 --> 00:16:49,383
What? Are you out of your mind?

315
00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:53,550
I'm taking Rose. They have their own
Disneyland there and they serve wine.

316
00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:56,559
But what about her husband?

317
00:16:56,727 --> 00:16:59,218
I'm gonna ask her to leave him
and marry me.

318
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:02,480
Oh, gee, Charlie,
that may not be the best idea.

319
00:17:02,649 --> 00:17:04,856
I don't recall asking for your opinion.

320
00:17:05,027 --> 00:17:06,900
Hey, hey, I'm just looking out for you.

321
00:17:07,070 --> 00:17:10,735
Do me a favor, a little less looking out,
little more moving out.

322
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:13,905
You're right. Screw him.

323
00:17:14,411 --> 00:17:17,531
Let's go get cash from the crazy
chick who married the mannequin.

324
00:17:17,706 --> 00:17:20,493
She's crazy? I'm the one talking
to a kitchen appliance.

325
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:25,046
Hey, look, I'm trapped in a toaster.

326
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:29,752
Wait, wait, I'm coming with you.

327
00:17:34,389 --> 00:17:36,097
I think that's everything.

328
00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:39,386
- What did you tell your husband?
- I didn't have to tell him anything.

329
00:17:39,561 --> 00:17:41,269
He's in New York for a fashion show.

330
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,397
Perfect. So, what kind of clothes
does he design anyway?

331
00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:47,353
- Men's sportswear, mostly.
- Anything I might like?

332
00:17:47,527 --> 00:17:49,769
No, it's more the kind of stuff
Alan would wear.

333
00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:52,111
Oh, so tacky.

334
00:17:53,575 --> 00:17:56,066
You know, I think I left my raincoat
in the bedroom.

335
00:17:56,244 --> 00:17:59,329
- I'll get it.
- Oh, thanks.

336
00:18:00,248 --> 00:18:01,493
Uh-oh.

337
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:10,246
Whoa.

338
00:18:13,595 --> 00:18:15,920
I guess the guy
brings his work home with him.

339
00:18:18,141 --> 00:18:20,928
Yep. Tacky.

340
00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:26,140
I got it.

341
00:18:34,199 --> 00:18:38,031
Here is your $10,000. Hope it works out
with your granddaughters.

342
00:18:38,203 --> 00:18:40,445
They're 15 years old and pregnant.

343
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:43,540
What should I look forward to,
the next season of <i>Teen Mom?</i>

344
00:18:45,544 --> 00:18:47,038
And that is it.

345
00:18:47,212 --> 00:18:49,501
Everybody is paid off.

346
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:51,048
But you're broke again.

347
00:18:51,216 --> 00:18:52,959
But my conscience is clear.

348
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:55,177
Dynamite.

349
00:18:57,681 --> 00:18:59,720
The rhyming thing
really wasn't working.

350
00:19:00,308 --> 00:19:03,226
Leave me alone.
All you are is my dark side.

351
00:19:03,395 --> 00:19:05,720
Fine, would you rather listen
to your light side?

352
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:08,815
- What are you talking about?
- There's more of us in here.

353
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:10,860
More?

354
00:19:11,028 --> 00:19:15,689
Oh, really? That shirt with those pants?
What were you thinking?

355
00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:20,745
Okay, who else you got?

356
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:23,035
Who else do you need?

357
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,436
[English - US - SDH]