1 00:00:00,669 --> 00:00:02,543 NARRATOR: Previously on Two and a Half Men: 2 00:00:02,713 --> 00:00:06,212 PRIEST: Persons present now come to be joined. Rose and Manfred... 3 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,165 She's really doing it. 4 00:00:08,343 --> 00:00:11,297 - Rose is getting married. - And we're clear. 5 00:00:11,722 --> 00:00:13,761 Yep. That ought to do it. 6 00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:15,130 Thanks, Freddy. 7 00:00:15,308 --> 00:00:18,808 - Who moves you, Rose? Him or me? - I love Manny. 8 00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:21,648 Fine. You just say the word and I'll go. 9 00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:24,941 Time's up. 10 00:00:30,032 --> 00:00:32,190 ALAN: Charlie, you home? 11 00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:35,987 Charlie? 12 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:37,872 Hello? 13 00:00:39,958 --> 00:00:41,037 Didn't you hear me? 14 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,119 Didn't you see me trying to hide? 15 00:00:44,755 --> 00:00:46,213 Cute. Okay. 16 00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:50,461 How would you feel if I said I was moving out? 17 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:53,839 Same way Charlie Brown feels when Lucy offers to hold the football. 18 00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:58,308 Excited, but with a skepticism born out of countless disappointments. 19 00:00:58,477 --> 00:01:01,596 Ha-ha-ha. I deserve that. 20 00:01:01,772 --> 00:01:04,607 But it's different this time. Read this. 21 00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:10,102 "A larger penis can be yours with a non-invasive surgical procedure." 22 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,691 No. No. Next to it. There. 23 00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:14,483 "Dr. Dave Ciambotti." 24 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:17,032 Orange County's number one chiropractor. 25 00:01:17,204 --> 00:01:20,738 "Mention this ad for 20 percent discount and a free Spinebuster key chain." 26 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,825 What's this have to do with moving out? 27 00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:25,836 I went to school with Dave Ciambotti. We were roommates. 28 00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:28,289 Say no more. 29 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:31,585 You're finally out of the closet and shacking up with Dr. Dave. 30 00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:33,962 Congratulations, God bless you both. 31 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,335 No. No. 32 00:01:35,514 --> 00:01:37,886 It's okay, Alan. I don't judge. 33 00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:40,264 Although I'm sure Old Dave could do better. 34 00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:41,973 Will you stop? 35 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:45,182 Okay, Dave and I had the same education, the same skills. 36 00:01:45,357 --> 00:01:47,314 We started our practice at the same time. 37 00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:50,438 But he does three times the business that I do. You know why? 38 00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:51,857 He offers happy endings? 39 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:56,192 Target market advertising. 40 00:01:56,368 --> 00:01:58,159 Another way of saying "happy ending"? 41 00:01:58,328 --> 00:02:01,662 No, no. It means newspaper ads, uh, fliers, radio spots. 42 00:02:01,832 --> 00:02:05,248 Since Dave started doing it, his business has been through the roof. 43 00:02:05,419 --> 00:02:06,913 How much is this gonna cost me? 44 00:02:07,087 --> 00:02:09,839 No, no. The question is, how much is it gonna earn you? 45 00:02:10,007 --> 00:02:12,083 I'll stick with my question. 46 00:02:12,843 --> 00:02:14,716 Charlie, I'm willing to let you in... 47 00:02:14,886 --> 00:02:17,674 on the ground floor of an amazing business opportunity. 48 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:20,013 Still waiting for a number, Alan. 49 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,215 Five thousand dollars. 50 00:02:21,393 --> 00:02:22,804 Five grand? 51 00:02:22,978 --> 00:02:27,058 For 2 I'd have you buried in the desert and have 3 to get myself a larger penis. 52 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,725 To be honest, that'd just be gilding the lily. 53 00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:34,603 Come on. With targeted advertising, I could double the size of my practice. 54 00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:37,355 Wow, a second patient. 55 00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:41,575 You're not listening. Once the profits start rolling in, I can move out. 56 00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:44,451 Once I grow boobs, I can start dancing the lunch shift... 57 00:02:44,624 --> 00:02:46,249 at Les Girls, Girls, Girls. 58 00:02:46,418 --> 00:02:50,036 I'm serious. This is a chance that could turn my life around. 59 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,206 - Did you ask Mom for money? - Seriously? 60 00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:54,624 No, I'm just grasping at straws. 61 00:02:55,135 --> 00:02:56,629 So, what do you say? 62 00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,096 [SIGHS] 63 00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:01,091 Okay, fine. I'll give you 5 grand... 64 00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:05,098 knowing full well that I'll never see it again, and wishing that it was you. 65 00:03:05,354 --> 00:03:09,185 Thank you, Charlie. Thank you so much. You are not gonna regret this. 66 00:03:11,109 --> 00:03:14,359 You have $5000 in your sweatpants? 67 00:03:14,988 --> 00:03:18,606 I prefer to think of it as three hookers and a Philly cheesesteak. 68 00:03:19,576 --> 00:03:21,118 [PHONE RINGING] 69 00:03:21,286 --> 00:03:23,077 Hang on a sec. 70 00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:26,864 Hello? Oh, hey, Rose. 71 00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:29,907 Why don't I count it while you talk? 72 00:03:31,046 --> 00:03:33,003 He's gone? Well, great. 73 00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:35,925 I'll be over in five minutes with bells on. 74 00:03:36,093 --> 00:03:38,465 No, no, no, it's just a figure of speech. 75 00:03:38,637 --> 00:03:42,136 But... Sure, I suppose I could try to find some bells. 76 00:03:42,307 --> 00:03:43,470 Okay, I'll see you soon. 77 00:03:43,642 --> 00:03:45,884 I gotta run. Her husband's at a meeting. 78 00:03:46,061 --> 00:03:47,259 Oh, Charlie, really? 79 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:50,853 The woman's trying to build a new life and you're gonna have an affair? 80 00:03:51,024 --> 00:03:53,515 - You want this money or not? - Give her my best. 81 00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:58,067 Aw, heh. 82 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,113 That was easy money. 83 00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:02,822 Hi, Mom. 84 00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:06,613 Do you have a minute to hear about an amazing business opportunity? 85 00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:42,524 So it isn't really a favor for me as much as it's an opportunity for you. 86 00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:44,361 Right. 87 00:04:44,578 --> 00:04:46,950 Why don't you just ask your brother for the money? 88 00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:49,660 I thought of that, but after all he's done for me... 89 00:04:49,833 --> 00:04:52,205 I'd feel horrible asking for a loan. 90 00:04:52,836 --> 00:04:55,161 And after all I've done for you? 91 00:04:55,339 --> 00:04:58,873 I still feel horrible, but you never threaten to smother me in my sleep. 92 00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:02,219 Not since you learned to talk, anyway. 93 00:05:02,596 --> 00:05:05,383 - How much? - Well, I'm, uh, gonna take out some ads... 94 00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:09,056 in the PennySaver, and on local radio, probably some circulars. 95 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,516 Uh, maybe one of those giant compressed-air guys... 96 00:05:11,688 --> 00:05:13,266 with the flailing arms, you know? 97 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,896 Um, I think I'll need... 98 00:05:17,611 --> 00:05:18,725 $10,000? 99 00:05:19,237 --> 00:05:22,073 - All right. - Although I could make do..."All right"? 100 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,360 You're my son. I should at least pretend to believe in you. 101 00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:27,160 Wow. Uh... 102 00:05:27,329 --> 00:05:28,408 Thank you. Heh. 103 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:32,329 I'm putting American Cancer Society on the memo line. Just ignore that. 104 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,076 No problem. You won't be sorry. 105 00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:37,246 You'll get your money back, plus interest. 106 00:05:37,422 --> 00:05:38,833 Of course I am. 107 00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,715 Never doubted it. 108 00:05:40,884 --> 00:05:44,134 - That for luck? - No, just kissing it goodbye. 109 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,174 [CAWING] 110 00:05:51,937 --> 00:05:53,431 What the hell was that? 111 00:05:53,605 --> 00:05:55,764 It was the all-clear signal, silly. 112 00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:57,684 You couldn't just say "all clear"? 113 00:05:58,902 --> 00:06:01,571 [CAWING] All clear. All clear. 114 00:06:02,447 --> 00:06:05,899 - Much better. When can I see you again? - I don't know. I'll call you. 115 00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:08,781 - How about tonight? - We'll see. Now go. 116 00:06:09,913 --> 00:06:12,748 - I love you. - Because you can't have me. 117 00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:14,956 No. This is real. How can I prove it to you? 118 00:06:15,419 --> 00:06:18,088 Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear for the woman he loved. 119 00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:20,708 Think about it. 120 00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:24,875 Would you settle for my brother's ear? 121 00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:26,547 Bye. 122 00:06:30,684 --> 00:06:32,760 Forgot your bells. 123 00:06:35,897 --> 00:06:38,223 I almost forgot. I need a hundred bucks. 124 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,606 - What for? - SAT prep class. 125 00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:43,980 Oh. Oh, sure. Glad to see you're taking the test seriously. 126 00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:46,985 If I don't do well, then I can't get into a good college. 127 00:06:47,159 --> 00:06:50,113 If I can't get into college, I'll never get into grad school. 128 00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:53,905 If I never get into grad school, what kind of future can I look forward to? 129 00:06:55,292 --> 00:06:56,916 What's the money really for? 130 00:06:57,085 --> 00:06:58,579 Video games and online porn. 131 00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:04,591 - You were gonna me give the money? - I had a good week. 132 00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:07,502 [DOORBELL RINGS] 133 00:07:08,513 --> 00:07:09,758 - Oh, hey, guys. - Hey, Herb. 134 00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,094 Hey. 135 00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:12,345 So how's it going? 136 00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:14,012 Oh, you know. Living the dream. 137 00:07:14,186 --> 00:07:16,474 JUDITH: Damn it, Herb, how many times have I told you... 138 00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:18,438 not to use the guest towels? 139 00:07:18,607 --> 00:07:23,020 Hey, if I'm gonna sleep in the guest room, I get to use the guest towels! 140 00:07:24,738 --> 00:07:27,311 Yeah, I remember that dream. 141 00:07:27,491 --> 00:07:30,029 - So how are things with you? - Ah, could not be better. 142 00:07:30,202 --> 00:07:32,029 Is that like me living the dream? 143 00:07:32,245 --> 00:07:35,994 Oh, no, no, really. I'm, uh, working on a pretty exciting business opportunity. 144 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,660 - Oh, no kidding. - Yeah, it's, uh... 145 00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:41,369 Well, actually, it's something you might... No, you know, never mind. 146 00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:43,124 So how's the pediatrician game? 147 00:07:43,632 --> 00:07:45,541 Like taking money from babies. 148 00:07:45,759 --> 00:07:47,835 Come on, tell me. What business opportunity? 149 00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:51,629 Well, it's an investment thing, but, uh, Judith would never let you get into it. 150 00:07:51,807 --> 00:07:55,721 And the fact that my mother and Charlie are already in would just freak her out. 151 00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:57,637 Your mother and brother invested? 152 00:07:57,813 --> 00:07:59,722 They didn't do that out of love. 153 00:07:59,898 --> 00:08:02,650 - No, they're not fond of you at all. - Mm. 154 00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:04,857 Well, anyway, it's good seeing you. 155 00:08:05,821 --> 00:08:08,312 Alan, wait. How much are we talking about? 156 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:13,202 Well, uh, my mother and Charlie are each in for... 157 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:15,073 15,000. 158 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:18,998 I can do that. Hang on, I'll get my checkbook. 159 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,911 Oh, and don't tell Judith. 160 00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:37,092 The years I wasted actually working for a living. 161 00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:39,102 Schmuck. 162 00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:49,979 - Hey, Mr. Harper. - Hey, Gordon. How you been? 163 00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:53,323 I'm almost 40 years old and I'm delivering you a pizza. 164 00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:56,655 Kind of says it all, doesn't it? 165 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,324 Pretty much. 166 00:08:58,498 --> 00:09:00,076 That'll be 23.75. 167 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,823 Oh, let me get my wallet. Come on in. 168 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:04,784 [PHONE RINGING] 169 00:09:05,255 --> 00:09:06,915 Hang on a sec. 170 00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:11,379 Hello? Oh, hey, baby. 171 00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:16,342 I thought you said Manny was at work. I thought this was our time together. 172 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:19,636 All right, fine. Just call me when you can. 173 00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:21,260 Damn. 174 00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:22,849 Everything okay, Mr. Harper? 175 00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:24,766 My date just cancelled. 176 00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:27,942 Can't the service send over another girl? 177 00:09:30,364 --> 00:09:35,109 Not a girl like this one. This is the girl I plan to spend the rest of my life with. 178 00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:37,906 Probably regretting getting the large then, huh? Heh. 179 00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:41,697 - Wanna join me? - Do I have to give back the tip? 180 00:09:41,875 --> 00:09:43,535 - No, come on in. - Okay. 181 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,252 So who's the woman? 182 00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:47,212 - Remember Rose? - My Rose? 183 00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:50,381 - Your Rose? - Yeah, we dated for a while. 184 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:55,259 No offense, Gordon, but I think she was going out with you to make me jealous. 185 00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:57,802 That's the only reason she went out with anybody. 186 00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:00,596 I don't know. There was something special between us. 187 00:10:00,769 --> 00:10:03,474 She was always getting me love gifts: Cargo shorts... 188 00:10:03,689 --> 00:10:06,808 bowling shirt, 20-year-old Scotch... 189 00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:10,819 Yeah, I remember Rose. 190 00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:12,649 So you guys are going out? 191 00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:15,989 I wouldn't exactly call it going out. She's kind of married. 192 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,567 Wow. Rose got married. 193 00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:23,407 Yep. To some clown named Manny Quinn. 194 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,085 Is he really a clown? 195 00:10:27,963 --> 00:10:29,706 I have to ask because it's Rose. 196 00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:32,920 No, no. He's in the fashion industry or something. 197 00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:36,628 Wow. So Rose is married and cheating on her husband with you. 198 00:10:36,805 --> 00:10:39,972 - Yep. - God, I love your life. 199 00:10:41,143 --> 00:10:44,594 Well, thanks, but it's really not as fun as it looks. 200 00:10:44,771 --> 00:10:46,811 - Really? - I'm kidding. 201 00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:48,809 Cheers. 202 00:10:49,151 --> 00:10:50,859 To me. 203 00:10:54,156 --> 00:10:57,607 Hey, Rose. It's Charlie again. I don't know if you got my text. 204 00:10:57,784 --> 00:11:01,118 Wanted to tell you I was thinking about you, I can't wait to see you. 205 00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:03,613 You know, when you can. 206 00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:07,124 Love you. Really. I do. 207 00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:09,038 - Hey, Charlie? - Yeah? 208 00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:11,543 When did you become a bitch? 209 00:11:12,007 --> 00:11:13,999 What? I was just leaving her a message. 210 00:11:14,176 --> 00:11:17,177 The girl is married. Leave her alone. 211 00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,801 I can't. I love her. I need her. 212 00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:21,765 Bitch. 213 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:25,303 Oh, hey. 214 00:11:25,687 --> 00:11:27,561 Been shopping? 215 00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:29,890 - Little bit. - A little bit? 216 00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:33,518 Well, you know, uh, a few pairs of socks, a new belt. 217 00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:38,656 Couple of Dolce & Gabbana suits, Gucci loafers and a Rolex. 218 00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:42,074 Wow. Business must be picking up. 219 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,157 Uh, it is. 220 00:11:44,331 --> 00:11:46,573 But not enough to pay back your investor. 221 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:51,662 Oh. Oh, no. L... I fully intend to pay you back. 222 00:11:54,007 --> 00:11:55,834 In fact... 223 00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:58,670 here... 224 00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:04,553 is your initial investment, $5000. 225 00:12:04,726 --> 00:12:11,689 And here is an additional $1000 in interest. 226 00:12:11,858 --> 00:12:13,187 Berta? Are you seeing this? 227 00:12:14,695 --> 00:12:15,774 Am I dreaming? 228 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:19,445 You got the Kardashian sisters under the table? 229 00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:24,364 - Nope. - Then you're not dreaming. 230 00:12:24,538 --> 00:12:26,365 Thank you for your confidence in me. 231 00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:29,873 Hey, it's still confidence if I'm figuring you'll fail. 232 00:12:30,043 --> 00:12:33,377 I told you advertising would drive in customers, and I was right. 233 00:12:33,547 --> 00:12:35,586 - Hang on a sec. - What? 234 00:12:37,259 --> 00:12:40,213 Do you think more advertising would drive in more customers? 235 00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:43,428 I don't see why not. 236 00:12:43,598 --> 00:12:46,718 Of course, the ads would have to reach a larger audience... 237 00:12:46,893 --> 00:12:51,888 and that would cost, you know, more money. 238 00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:54,771 Tell you what. Let it ride. 239 00:12:54,943 --> 00:12:56,058 Really? 240 00:12:56,236 --> 00:12:58,905 Hey, a 20 percent return in a couple of weeks, come on. 241 00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:02,239 In fact, here is another 4. 242 00:13:02,743 --> 00:13:05,068 Hold on, I think I have more upstairs. 243 00:13:06,163 --> 00:13:09,117 Oh, look in the back of your underwear drawer. 244 00:13:11,084 --> 00:13:12,163 I needed underwear. 245 00:13:12,377 --> 00:13:15,663 You borrowed your brother's skivvies? That's disgusting. 246 00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:19,748 I agree. That's why when I found the money, I took $100 to buy new ones. 247 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:25,382 So listen, can anybody get in on this deal of yours? 248 00:13:29,102 --> 00:13:30,300 Excuse me? 249 00:13:30,479 --> 00:13:32,970 I'm always looking for smart investments. 250 00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:34,939 And I've got some extra cash... 251 00:13:35,108 --> 00:13:40,019 that's a result of a little hydroponic farming venture in Chino. 252 00:13:40,197 --> 00:13:41,525 What are you farming? 253 00:13:41,698 --> 00:13:43,940 Alfalfa. What's it to you? 254 00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:46,193 I don't know, Berta, I mean... 255 00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:48,119 You realize there's no guarantees. 256 00:13:48,288 --> 00:13:50,447 You'd actually be doing me a favor. 257 00:13:50,624 --> 00:13:55,416 My bank asks a lot of questions about my alfalfa earnings. 258 00:13:55,921 --> 00:13:58,328 All right, fine. How much do you wanna invest? 259 00:13:58,715 --> 00:14:00,791 - Ten grand? - Great. Heh. 260 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:02,166 When can you get it to me? 261 00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:04,550 As soon as I come back from the bathroom. 262 00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:11,351 Boy, I hope she means it's behind the toilet. 263 00:14:14,773 --> 00:14:16,184 [DOORBELL RINGS] 264 00:14:16,358 --> 00:14:18,350 ROSE: Who is it? - Pizza. 265 00:14:18,527 --> 00:14:21,314 ROSE: Door's open. I'll be right down. 266 00:14:30,872 --> 00:14:32,948 Hello. 267 00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:38,210 - Gordon? - Rose? 268 00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:41,547 - Oh, my gosh, it's been so long. - Yeah. 269 00:14:41,717 --> 00:14:42,997 How are you doing? 270 00:14:43,176 --> 00:14:46,011 Just great. Got a new shirt with my name on it. Heh. 271 00:14:46,179 --> 00:14:50,011 - Lighted sign for the roof of my car. - How nice. 272 00:14:50,183 --> 00:14:53,599 - How about you? Heard you got married. - Yes. I'm now Mrs. Manfred Quinn. 273 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:55,181 Wow, congrats. 274 00:14:55,355 --> 00:14:56,518 - Thank you. - Yeah. 275 00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:59,359 So that will be 23.75. 276 00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:00,689 Let me just get my purse. 277 00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:06,526 Mrs. Manfred Quinn. 278 00:15:07,993 --> 00:15:10,116 Manny Quinn. 279 00:15:11,997 --> 00:15:13,740 Manny Quinn. 280 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,373 Holy crap, this is great. 281 00:15:22,883 --> 00:15:24,128 ALAN: It's real, Mom. 282 00:15:24,301 --> 00:15:27,385 - You understand my skepticism. - Sure. 283 00:15:27,554 --> 00:15:29,547 And this is $12,000? 284 00:15:29,723 --> 00:15:32,095 Yep. The 10,000 you gave me plus your profit. 285 00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:33,596 I don't know what to say. 286 00:15:33,769 --> 00:15:35,892 How about, "I'm proud of you. Well done"? 287 00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,223 I'm proud of you, Alan. Well done. 288 00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:40,225 "I knew you had it in you. Attaboy." 289 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,144 Let's not push it. 290 00:15:42,652 --> 00:15:46,235 Okay, well, uh, again, thank you for helping me get my business going. 291 00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:48,400 I'll see you. 292 00:15:48,658 --> 00:15:50,568 Hold on. 293 00:15:52,913 --> 00:15:54,324 Yes? 294 00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:56,781 Since you seem to be on a roll... 295 00:15:56,958 --> 00:16:00,043 what would happen if I didn't take my investment out? 296 00:16:01,171 --> 00:16:05,584 And maybe threw in another 8 to make it an even 20,000? 297 00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:06,790 [LAUGHS] 298 00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:09,294 Twenty thousand is a lot of money. 299 00:16:09,471 --> 00:16:12,507 And as you're aware, all investments carry risk. 300 00:16:12,683 --> 00:16:14,841 Darling, if you cut me out, I'll kill you. 301 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,638 What can I say? You're in. 302 00:16:18,605 --> 00:16:19,934 Alan has one L. 303 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,109 Oh. 304 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:26,862 [DOORBELL RINGS] 305 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:30,315 - Hey, Mr. Harper. - Hey, Gordon. 306 00:16:30,492 --> 00:16:32,319 - 23.75? - You got it. 307 00:16:32,994 --> 00:16:35,117 I delivered a pizza to Rose the other day. 308 00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:37,447 Oh, yeah? Did you meet her husband? 309 00:16:37,624 --> 00:16:39,284 You mean Manny? 310 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:41,039 Yeah. 311 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:42,954 I take it you haven't. 312 00:16:43,505 --> 00:16:46,625 Well, no. For obvious reasons. 313 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,671 - What kind of guy is he? - He's quiet. 314 00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:54,637 A little stiff. 315 00:16:55,142 --> 00:16:57,300 What did you say he did for a living? 316 00:16:57,477 --> 00:17:00,147 He's some important figure in the fashion industry. 317 00:17:00,313 --> 00:17:02,805 Right, right. 318 00:17:02,983 --> 00:17:04,358 So Manny Quinn. 319 00:17:04,526 --> 00:17:06,982 An important figure in the fashion industry. 320 00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:08,564 Right. 321 00:17:08,739 --> 00:17:10,197 Here's 30, keep the change. 322 00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:11,646 Thanks. 323 00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:14,031 Manny Quinn, Mr. Harper. 324 00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:15,862 Fashion figure. 325 00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:17,366 That's what I said. 326 00:17:18,165 --> 00:17:21,498 Manny. Quinn. Figure. 327 00:17:21,668 --> 00:17:24,539 - Uh-huh. - Manny Quinn. 328 00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:29,709 - What the hell is wrong with you? - Nothing. Good night. 329 00:17:29,885 --> 00:17:31,545 Good night. 330 00:17:33,055 --> 00:17:37,633 He's got the beach house, I'm delivering pizzas. Un-fricking-believable. 331 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:40,727 [DOORBELL RINGS] 332 00:17:41,897 --> 00:17:44,352 - How dare you? - Nice to see you too. 333 00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:48,059 You go behind my back and talk my husband into giving you some loan? 334 00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:50,692 - Herb told you? - Of course. We love each other. 335 00:17:50,864 --> 00:17:54,031 And we love each other so much, she went through my checkbook. 336 00:17:55,869 --> 00:17:56,948 Not to worry. 337 00:17:57,162 --> 00:18:01,242 I am very pleased to announce that your investment has paid off. 338 00:18:03,418 --> 00:18:08,376 That's your original $15,000 plus 20 percent interest. 339 00:18:09,216 --> 00:18:11,374 - Wow. - You're welcome. 340 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:14,671 - Can I see? - Alan? Wait. 341 00:18:17,391 --> 00:18:18,553 Yeah? 342 00:18:18,725 --> 00:18:20,552 What if we don't wanna cash out? 343 00:18:20,936 --> 00:18:23,059 Whatever do you mean? 344 00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,231 Reinvest this, and add in six months of your child support. 345 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,226 That money's supposed to be for Jake. 346 00:18:28,402 --> 00:18:30,727 Oh, don't be so naive. You want it or not? 347 00:18:31,947 --> 00:18:34,402 Sure, if you insist. 348 00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,117 Well, see you. 349 00:18:36,284 --> 00:18:37,909 Bye. 350 00:18:38,328 --> 00:18:39,822 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 351 00:18:40,789 --> 00:18:43,706 I'm thinking somebody owes somebody an apology. 352 00:18:45,585 --> 00:18:47,329 I'm sorry. 353 00:18:54,094 --> 00:18:56,846 Ha-ha-ha. Unbelievable. 354 00:18:57,055 --> 00:19:00,258 You ask for money and they just give it to you. 355 00:19:00,434 --> 00:19:02,260 And then you take the new money... 356 00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:04,761 and use it to pay back some of the old money. 357 00:19:04,938 --> 00:19:08,473 But they don't want it back. And they give you more. 358 00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,109 Because they're greedy. 359 00:19:10,652 --> 00:19:12,859 Greedy, greedy, greedy. 360 00:19:14,698 --> 00:19:17,023 Oh, God, what have I done? 361 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,576 MALE VOICE: Oh, quit your whining. 362 00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:21,323 Who said that? 363 00:19:21,496 --> 00:19:23,489 Over here. 364 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,285 Hi. How you doing? 365 00:19:29,713 --> 00:19:31,587 Not so good. 366 00:19:35,969 --> 00:19:37,843 Feeling better? 367 00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:41,633 This isn't happening. 368 00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:42,840 I'm losing my mind. 369 00:19:43,018 --> 00:19:44,133 Your mind is fine. 370 00:19:44,311 --> 00:19:47,098 What you should be worried about is losing your hair. 371 00:19:49,232 --> 00:19:51,558 Now, do yourself a favor and stop with the guilt. 372 00:19:51,735 --> 00:19:54,902 How? I'm betraying my friends. I'm betraying my family. 373 00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:56,821 Feels good, doesn't it? 374 00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:58,568 Yes... No. 375 00:19:58,742 --> 00:20:00,984 L... Well... I'm not sure. 376 00:20:01,161 --> 00:20:03,734 Come on. You've spent your whole life being a doormat. 377 00:20:03,914 --> 00:20:06,239 This is your chance to get what you deserve. 378 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:07,579 What about the guilt? 379 00:20:07,751 --> 00:20:11,036 The hell with the guilt. Let's be bad guys. 380 00:20:12,005 --> 00:20:14,710 - Bad guys? - It's time for a change, don't you think? 381 00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,549 Could we grow a mustache? 382 00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:21,551 I've always wanted a mustache. 383 00:20:21,723 --> 00:20:24,179 We're gonna grow balls. 384 00:20:24,685 --> 00:20:26,511 Oh, good. 385 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,929 I've always wanted those too. 386 00:20:32,859 --> 00:20:34,188 See you. 387 00:20:34,361 --> 00:20:36,021 - Where you going? - Out. 388 00:20:36,196 --> 00:20:37,904 Out? 389 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,651 Yeah, out. 390 00:20:45,956 --> 00:20:47,367 Got a problem with that? 391 00:20:49,167 --> 00:20:50,792 No. Not at all. 392 00:20:50,961 --> 00:20:52,585 All right then. 393 00:21:32,002 --> 00:21:34,078 [English - US - SDH]