1 00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:05,645 Fade in. 2 00:00:05,808 --> 00:00:07,880 Exterior. Night. 3 00:00:08,047 --> 00:00:10,152 A dark, desolate prairie. 4 00:00:10,319 --> 00:00:14,214 A lone cowboy sits on a sturdy horse gazing up at the moon. 5 00:00:14,384 --> 00:00:16,773 Suddenly a flash of light appears in the sky... 6 00:00:16,943 --> 00:00:19,693 and a burning meteor plummets to the Earth. 7 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,533 Fade in. Exterior. Night. 8 00:00:30,704 --> 00:00:33,224 New York City. Hell's Kitchen. 9 00:00:33,392 --> 00:00:36,840 A lone cop sits in a patrol car gazing up at the moon. 10 00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:44,233 Suddenly a flash of light appears in the sky... 11 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,149 and a flaming meteor plummets to the Earth. 12 00:00:49,135 --> 00:00:51,754 All right, now we're cooking. 13 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,065 Alan? 14 00:00:54,031 --> 00:00:56,300 - Mia? - I thought that was you. 15 00:00:56,463 --> 00:00:58,438 What a nice surprise. 16 00:00:58,608 --> 00:01:00,615 Didn't you move to New York with your husband? 17 00:01:00,783 --> 00:01:03,150 We did. But then we split up and I came back here. 18 00:01:03,311 --> 00:01:04,311 Sorry to hear that. 19 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,471 Not that you moved, but that it didn't work. 20 00:01:07,215 --> 00:01:08,557 So how's Charlie doing? 21 00:01:08,719 --> 00:01:11,436 Oh, he's fine. He's engaged if you can believe that. 22 00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:14,152 - You're kidding. - No, she moved in and everything. 23 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,596 Good for him. 24 00:01:15,759 --> 00:01:17,996 - So where are you living now? - What do you mean? 25 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:21,359 You know, since Charlie's fiancée moved in, I assumed- 26 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,166 You look great, Alan. 27 00:01:24,816 --> 00:01:26,190 Thank you, you too. 28 00:01:26,351 --> 00:01:28,391 - Please give Charlie my best. - Will do. 29 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,185 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 30 00:01:43,087 --> 00:01:44,843 Fade in. Interior. 31 00:01:45,007 --> 00:01:47,211 Coffee shop. Night. 32 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:50,691 An unconventionally handsome man pounds away at his lonely laptop... 33 00:01:50,863 --> 00:01:53,546 writing the blockbuster that will lift him from poverty... 34 00:01:53,711 --> 00:01:55,500 and put him in a home of his own. 35 00:01:57,903 --> 00:01:59,813 A beautiful woman crosses to him. 36 00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:01,991 Their eyes meet. 37 00:02:08,143 --> 00:02:10,183 Suddenly a flash of light appears in the sky... 38 00:02:10,352 --> 00:02:13,134 and a flaming meteor plummets to the Earth. 39 00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:23,590 So when do you think you'll be home? 40 00:02:25,135 --> 00:02:28,070 But I was looking forward to having dinner with you. 41 00:02:29,519 --> 00:02:31,461 All right, I'll see you later. 42 00:02:31,631 --> 00:02:34,020 Yeah, love you too. Mwah. 43 00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:41,701 "Love you too. Mwah." 44 00:02:44,656 --> 00:02:45,932 - Alan? - Yeah? 45 00:02:46,095 --> 00:02:48,200 Smack your kid for me. 46 00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:51,853 Should we really risk more brain damage? 47 00:02:52,592 --> 00:02:53,769 Thanks, Dad. 48 00:02:55,247 --> 00:02:59,437 - Oh, hey, you'll never guess who I ran into. - Kobe Bryant? 49 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,636 - No. No. - Lauren Conrad? 50 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,061 - Sean "P. Diddy" Combs? - What is wrong with you? 51 00:03:06,799 --> 00:03:09,166 No, I ran into Mia at the coffee shop. 52 00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:10,935 You're kidding. 53 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,407 No. Apparently, she's single again and living in L.A. 54 00:03:14,576 --> 00:03:16,583 What's wrong with you? 55 00:03:19,663 --> 00:03:23,886 - So Mia. How'd she look? - Oh, better than ever. 56 00:03:24,624 --> 00:03:26,184 Damn. 57 00:03:27,343 --> 00:03:28,343 What did she say? 58 00:03:29,328 --> 00:03:30,921 She said to give you her best. 59 00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,542 - That's it? - Pretty much. 60 00:03:33,712 --> 00:03:35,883 - How did she say it? - What do you mean? 61 00:03:36,559 --> 00:03:39,723 I mean, was it perfunctory or was there subtext? 62 00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:41,480 Perfunctory. 63 00:03:43,887 --> 00:03:47,400 That could be my rap name. M.C. Perfunctory. 64 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,590 I don't know. 65 00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:55,469 But I mentioned that you were engaged and she seemed happy for you. 66 00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:59,014 You told her I was engaged? Why the hell would you do that? 67 00:03:59,184 --> 00:04:01,453 Because you are, in fact, engaged. 68 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,983 - She seemed happy? - Yeah, she said, "Good for him." 69 00:04:04,688 --> 00:04:07,208 - How did she say it? - Was it perfunctory? 70 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,182 Or were there subtitles? 71 00:04:12,463 --> 00:04:14,373 I'm leaving. 72 00:04:14,544 --> 00:04:17,959 And yet the memory of him lingers on. 73 00:04:18,128 --> 00:04:19,128 Hey, Uncle Charlie? 74 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:20,279 - Yeah? - Love you. 75 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,222 To think I fought for shared custody. 76 00:04:26,895 --> 00:04:28,935 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So back to Mia. 77 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,826 You're still carrying a torch for her? 78 00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:33,773 No, I'm not carrying a torch for her. 79 00:04:33,935 --> 00:04:35,724 You think she's carrying a torch for me? 80 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:38,505 Charlie, you are engaged to a wonderful woman. 81 00:04:38,671 --> 00:04:42,020 - Just forget about Mia. - I had forgotten about her. 82 00:04:42,191 --> 00:04:46,631 I'd forgotten her face, her eyes, her lips, her legs. 83 00:04:46,799 --> 00:04:49,482 Oh, God, those legs. 84 00:04:49,808 --> 00:04:51,334 You're the one who brought her up. 85 00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:53,143 Sorry. 86 00:04:53,296 --> 00:04:56,427 I'm the last to tell you you can't have feelings for an old girlfriend. 87 00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:59,079 I, myself, still have very strong feelings for Melissa. 88 00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:01,962 - Who's Melissa? - My receptionist. 89 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:06,502 Oh, right, the one that caught you in bed with her mom. 90 00:05:07,471 --> 00:05:09,991 You're leaving out a lot of extenuating circumstances... 91 00:05:10,159 --> 00:05:12,647 but yes, she caught me rubbing against her mother. 92 00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:17,389 And you wanna compare that freak show to what Mia and I had? 93 00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:18,861 I almost married her. 94 00:05:19,023 --> 00:05:21,990 All I'm saying is you can acknowledge your feelings for Mia... 95 00:05:22,159 --> 00:05:24,580 while still moving forward with Chelsea. 96 00:05:24,751 --> 00:05:26,573 - That's what I intend to do. - Good. 97 00:05:26,735 --> 00:05:28,328 It is good. 98 00:05:34,255 --> 00:05:36,622 You're thinking about sex with Mia, aren't you? 99 00:05:37,616 --> 00:05:39,372 You're thinking about sex with Melissa. 100 00:05:39,536 --> 00:05:42,253 I'm trying to, but her mom keeps popping in. 101 00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:55,653 Okay, okay. I'm just gonna come out and say it. 102 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:59,336 Baseball was better with steroids. 103 00:05:59,503 --> 00:06:00,932 Mm-hm. 104 00:06:01,103 --> 00:06:05,032 I mean, this guy's leading the league with 11 home runs. 105 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,069 Back in Sammy Sosa's day, that was a slow weekend. 106 00:06:08,239 --> 00:06:09,351 Mm-hm. 107 00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:12,366 Call me crazy, but I think people would pay real money... 108 00:06:12,528 --> 00:06:16,205 to see a meat-covered robot hit a ball 750 feet. 109 00:06:16,368 --> 00:06:18,277 Mm. 110 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:23,022 Okay, well, Sports Center's over. 111 00:06:24,015 --> 00:06:25,870 Time for sex. 112 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:29,383 Charlie, please, this report's due tomorrow. 113 00:06:30,511 --> 00:06:32,137 All right. 114 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,047 I guess our relationship is getting to that mature... 115 00:06:35,216 --> 00:06:36,939 evolved stage they talk about. 116 00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:39,786 - Guess so. - Terrific. 117 00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:41,774 I hope I die soon. 118 00:06:42,383 --> 00:06:44,685 - What? - Love you. 119 00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,220 Remember when you used to close the door... 120 00:06:49,391 --> 00:06:51,831 and try to hit the porcelain so I didn't have to hear you pee? 121 00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:55,499 CHARLIE: Yeah, way back when we used to have sex after Sports Center. 122 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,299 Hello? 123 00:07:04,463 --> 00:07:06,798 Uh, hang on. 124 00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:09,291 Charlie, there's a woman named Mia on the phone. 125 00:07:10,575 --> 00:07:11,852 CHARLIE: Ow! 126 00:07:14,095 --> 00:07:16,583 - Should I take a message? CHARLIE: No, no. No. 127 00:07:19,247 --> 00:07:20,807 I'll take it. 128 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,104 Hello? 129 00:07:24,751 --> 00:07:27,751 Oh, hey, Mia. What a surprise. 130 00:07:27,919 --> 00:07:29,926 Yeah, Alan mentioned he ran into you. 131 00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:32,522 Old friend. 132 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:37,733 Yes, yes, you heard correctly, I am engaged. 133 00:07:38,063 --> 00:07:39,558 Thank you. 134 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,378 Yes, that was her. 135 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,485 Oh, she's terrific. 136 00:07:46,927 --> 00:07:48,749 And how are you? 137 00:07:49,775 --> 00:07:52,230 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 138 00:07:52,399 --> 00:07:54,952 Well, there's plenty more fish in the sea. 139 00:07:55,119 --> 00:07:57,607 I'm sure you'll get out there in that old dating pond... 140 00:07:57,776 --> 00:07:59,685 and catch something. 141 00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:05,060 You know, a fish, not a disease. 142 00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:09,419 Anyway, thanks for the good wishes. Bye-bye. 143 00:08:15,087 --> 00:08:17,029 Okay, well, good night. 144 00:08:19,311 --> 00:08:21,482 - Old friend, huh? - Yeah. 145 00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:25,062 She heard I was engaged and wanted to congratulate me. 146 00:08:25,231 --> 00:08:26,573 Sweet kid. 147 00:08:26,735 --> 00:08:30,215 Is this the woman you almost married in Vegas a few years ago? 148 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,749 - Charlie? - I'm thinking. 149 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,313 Charlie. 150 00:08:38,479 --> 00:08:40,519 - Who told you about that? - Your brother. 151 00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:43,176 Oh, really? 152 00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:46,605 Did he tell you his last girlfriend caught him in bed with her mother? 153 00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:50,441 - Yes, he did. - What a dirtbag, huh? 154 00:08:53,871 --> 00:08:55,813 So were you ever going to tell me about Mia? 155 00:08:56,431 --> 00:08:57,958 What's the point? 156 00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:01,324 Have you told me about every guy you've ever been with? 157 00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:02,731 Actually, I have. 158 00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:06,027 My boyfriend in high school, two guys in college and the man I married. 159 00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:07,565 That's it, four? 160 00:09:07,727 --> 00:09:10,280 Back in your day, that was a slow weekend, right? 161 00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:15,246 It's not a competition, Chels. 162 00:09:17,871 --> 00:09:21,100 So why do you think this Mia is calling you in the middle of the night? 163 00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:24,296 Honey, it was perfectly innocent. 164 00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:28,107 She just called to congratulate me on our engagement. 165 00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:35,492 No, she didn't. She called to see if you're happy. 166 00:09:35,663 --> 00:09:39,045 - She wants to know if you're still available. - Really? You think so? 167 00:09:43,151 --> 00:09:45,158 I mean: Really? You think so? 168 00:09:45,327 --> 00:09:47,214 Yes, I think so. 169 00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:50,374 The question is, are you happy? Are you available? 170 00:09:50,543 --> 00:09:52,998 Oh, come on, Chels, what kind of question is that? 171 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:56,462 No, I'm not available and I'm certainly not happy. 172 00:09:59,055 --> 00:10:01,706 - You know what I mean. - I hope so. 173 00:10:02,255 --> 00:10:03,368 Yep. 174 00:10:04,079 --> 00:10:06,829 I'm a happy and lucky man. 175 00:10:06,991 --> 00:10:09,063 Happy, happy, happy. 176 00:10:09,231 --> 00:10:11,402 Lucky, lucky, lucky. 177 00:10:13,903 --> 00:10:15,429 And wet. 178 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,310 I'm kind of wet. 179 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:25,926 What you writing? 180 00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:27,095 A screenplay. 181 00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:28,359 Cool. 182 00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:30,599 I got a great idea for a movie if you want it. 183 00:10:31,471 --> 00:10:32,471 Thanks, I'm okay. 184 00:10:35,951 --> 00:10:37,161 What is it? 185 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,717 Okay, so there's this guy who's in an accident on the highway... 186 00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:43,661 where he hits a moose and he loses control of his car... 187 00:10:43,823 --> 00:10:45,928 and crashes into a truck full of toxic waste. 188 00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:49,477 And when he wakes up in the hospital, he's part car and part animal. 189 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,739 Car-nimal. 190 00:10:54,575 --> 00:10:55,575 Oh. 191 00:10:55,727 --> 00:10:58,891 - Thanks, but I think I'll stick with my idea. - Fine. What's your idea? 192 00:10:59,055 --> 00:11:00,910 - You really interested? - Sure. 193 00:11:01,742 --> 00:11:05,637 Well, it's about a man who's at a crossroads in his life... 194 00:11:05,807 --> 00:11:08,589 coming to terms with loss and mortality. 195 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,949 - Huh. Know what you could call it? - What? 196 00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:13,769 Boring. 197 00:11:16,015 --> 00:11:19,943 - Thank you. - Rated G-A-Y. 198 00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:27,784 - Hi, Charlie. - Hey, Herb. 199 00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:30,504 - I'm here to pick up Jake. - Oh, come on in. 200 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,285 Jake, time to get the hell out of my house. 201 00:11:36,431 --> 00:11:38,154 - So how's it going? - Oh, pretty good. 202 00:11:38,319 --> 00:11:40,970 Baby's coming any day. Judith's got that glow of motherhood. 203 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,885 Gangway, I gotta freaking pee again. 204 00:11:49,231 --> 00:11:51,686 Yeah, she's radiant. 205 00:11:52,783 --> 00:11:55,084 Hey, Herb. Jake's just finishing breakfast. 206 00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,728 Or he could be starting lunch. It's a fine line. 207 00:11:58,894 --> 00:12:00,323 Well, he is a growing boy. 208 00:12:00,495 --> 00:12:02,829 He's a growing pain in my ass. 209 00:12:04,302 --> 00:12:05,317 He says that with love. 210 00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:09,065 No, I say it with a dull, throbbing pain in my ass. 211 00:12:10,223 --> 00:12:11,946 JUDITH: Uh-oh. 212 00:12:12,111 --> 00:12:15,111 - My water just broke. - Are you sure? 213 00:12:20,622 --> 00:12:22,597 Yes, I'm sure. 214 00:12:25,103 --> 00:12:27,307 I ain't cleaning that up. 215 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:35,590 Boy, this brings back memories, huh? 216 00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:37,482 Shut up. 217 00:12:38,415 --> 00:12:40,302 Slipping in Judith's amniotic fluid. 218 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:42,951 Guess this will be pretty funny some day. 219 00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,517 It's pretty funny right now, Herb. 220 00:12:45,678 --> 00:12:48,646 Hello? A little help here. Ding, ding, ding. 221 00:12:48,814 --> 00:12:51,433 Hold your horses, I'm- 222 00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:55,111 - Dr. Harper? - Melissa? What are you doing here? 223 00:12:55,278 --> 00:12:59,140 I work here. I had to find another job after... 224 00:12:59,503 --> 00:13:01,128 you know. 225 00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:05,288 For the last time, I did not have sex with your mother. 226 00:13:05,455 --> 00:13:07,364 Excuse me. I'm having a baby here! 227 00:13:07,535 --> 00:13:09,575 - And I think I broke my ankle. - Quit whining. 228 00:13:09,743 --> 00:13:10,953 Her doctor's on his way. 229 00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:13,006 Contractions are about eight minutes apart. 230 00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:16,712 Let's get you to prenatal. I'll sign you in, have an orderly take you upstairs. 231 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,497 No, no, no. I'm the father. I'll do it. 232 00:13:20,079 --> 00:13:22,796 - Bad idea, Herb. - I'm here, Judith. Everything's okay. 233 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,626 Oh, God. 234 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,636 My arm! 235 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,621 I'm coming, Judith! 236 00:13:33,519 --> 00:13:36,835 Stay down, champ. It's not your night. 237 00:13:37,903 --> 00:13:40,042 Oh, my freaking God. 238 00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,312 You're not breathing. Remember to breathe. 239 00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:44,301 Good, good, good. 240 00:13:44,463 --> 00:13:46,251 Okay. You're only two minutes apart. 241 00:13:46,414 --> 00:13:48,356 - So we're in the home stretch here. - Great. 242 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,911 Boy, seems like just yesterday we were at this same hospital... 243 00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:53,559 waiting for little Jake to arrive. 244 00:13:53,903 --> 00:13:55,659 Uh-huh. 245 00:13:55,823 --> 00:13:57,732 After pushing out his enormous head... 246 00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,358 this one will feel like spitting a watermelon seed. 247 00:14:03,503 --> 00:14:07,812 So anyway, I really love my fiancée... 248 00:14:08,687 --> 00:14:11,273 but I can't get this other girl out of my mind. 249 00:14:11,439 --> 00:14:14,537 I mean, she told my brother to give me her best. 250 00:14:14,702 --> 00:14:17,069 And let me tell you, her best could curl your hair... 251 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,238 and make your ass whistle. 252 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:25,640 Is that what you're here for? A whistling ass? 253 00:14:26,511 --> 00:14:30,667 No, no, no. There's a baby and some broken bones. Not important. 254 00:14:31,343 --> 00:14:32,652 The thing is... 255 00:14:32,815 --> 00:14:36,262 I know you can't expect to keep the passion of a new relationship... 256 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:39,300 going forever, but I kind of miss it. 257 00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,699 Maybe it's just that the grass always looks greener, you know? 258 00:14:43,662 --> 00:14:46,051 - You see this cooler? - Yeah. 259 00:14:46,223 --> 00:14:50,413 It's carrying two light beers, a half a ham sandwich and my thumb. 260 00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:57,288 So you'll excuse me if I lack a certain degree of interest... 261 00:14:57,454 --> 00:14:59,494 in your romantic dilemma. 262 00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:04,070 You got beer? 263 00:15:05,646 --> 00:15:08,396 - Oh, God! Oh, God! - Focus on me. Remember your breathing. 264 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:11,276 Okay, one, two. One, two. 265 00:15:11,439 --> 00:15:12,715 - One, two. - Dr. Harper? 266 00:15:14,863 --> 00:15:17,001 - Melissa. - I miss you. 267 00:15:17,487 --> 00:15:19,309 Oh, I miss you too. 268 00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,214 - Can we talk? - Of course. 269 00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:25,382 Alan! 270 00:15:26,031 --> 00:15:27,722 You're fine. Just keep breathing. 271 00:15:29,582 --> 00:15:30,597 Hey, Charlie. 272 00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:36,039 Look at me, I'm half man, half machine. 273 00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:42,282 Kind of like Jake's movie idea. Car-nimal. 274 00:15:43,598 --> 00:15:46,468 It's okay, dude, I'm gonna hang here for a while. 275 00:15:48,207 --> 00:15:50,061 I love that guy. 276 00:15:51,503 --> 00:15:53,194 What the hell did they give you? 277 00:15:53,359 --> 00:15:55,333 Oh, all the good stuff. 278 00:15:55,502 --> 00:15:59,080 You could pull out every one of my teeth, I wouldn't even notice. 279 00:15:59,983 --> 00:16:01,739 They didn't, did they? 280 00:16:05,455 --> 00:16:06,470 You're fine. 281 00:16:06,638 --> 00:16:11,178 Okay, then, I guess we should get going. You drive, okay? I'm pretty buzzed. 282 00:16:11,982 --> 00:16:15,430 - What about Judith? - Let's not bring her. She's a downer. 283 00:16:17,263 --> 00:16:19,499 No argument, but there is the baby. 284 00:16:20,078 --> 00:16:23,013 Oh, my God, the baby. 285 00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:25,832 Judith needs me. I must go to her. 286 00:16:26,542 --> 00:16:28,746 I'm coming, Judith! 287 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,277 I'm coming! 288 00:16:34,062 --> 00:16:36,550 Hey, Charlie. How'd you get here so quick? 289 00:16:41,294 --> 00:16:42,789 Oh, I tried to forget you. 290 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,227 To hate you. 291 00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:46,551 But I couldn't. 292 00:16:46,702 --> 00:16:49,091 Really? Most people don't have that problem. 293 00:16:52,783 --> 00:16:53,928 Beer and chips. 294 00:16:54,095 --> 00:16:55,982 This is turning out okay. 295 00:16:58,895 --> 00:17:00,356 Did you see where my friend went? 296 00:17:00,846 --> 00:17:03,846 He went hobbling down the hall, mumbling about some Judith. 297 00:17:04,751 --> 00:17:07,140 I better go warn the villagers. 298 00:17:08,366 --> 00:17:10,122 Good luck to you. 299 00:17:10,927 --> 00:17:13,098 Thanks. Oh, and hey. 300 00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:22,030 Good luck to you too. 301 00:17:25,102 --> 00:17:28,899 Oh, God! 302 00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:34,222 Oh, there you are. 303 00:17:35,695 --> 00:17:36,775 Seen Herb? 304 00:17:36,943 --> 00:17:38,885 No, I haven't seen Herb! 305 00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:42,088 Huh. Chips? 306 00:17:42,255 --> 00:17:44,164 No, I don't want any chips! 307 00:17:44,335 --> 00:17:45,513 Okay. 308 00:17:45,679 --> 00:17:48,013 I don't think you're supposed to have beer. 309 00:17:48,175 --> 00:17:49,287 Get out of here! 310 00:17:50,191 --> 00:17:51,271 No problem. 311 00:17:51,855 --> 00:17:53,262 Wait. Don't leave me. 312 00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:57,446 I need someone to coach me through my contractions. 313 00:17:57,967 --> 00:17:58,967 All right. 314 00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:10,733 Way to go. 315 00:18:12,782 --> 00:18:14,211 Judith! 316 00:18:14,383 --> 00:18:16,390 I'm coming! 317 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,850 See, I love Chelsea. 318 00:18:20,014 --> 00:18:22,316 But, you know, there was a time I loved Mia. 319 00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:27,788 Breathe. 320 00:18:29,903 --> 00:18:32,270 All right, you're fully dilated. 321 00:18:32,431 --> 00:18:34,154 I think it's time to have this baby. 322 00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:37,512 Okay. Well, good luck. 323 00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:39,653 Don't you dare leave me. 324 00:18:41,679 --> 00:18:43,272 Judith, I'm here-Oh. 325 00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,306 Whoopsie. 326 00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,129 Think I broke my nose. 327 00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:52,716 Three cheers for Demerol. 328 00:18:53,774 --> 00:18:57,036 - Hip-hip... - Hooray. 329 00:19:02,478 --> 00:19:03,526 Interior. 330 00:19:03,695 --> 00:19:06,280 Hospital delivery room. Day. 331 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,006 An unconventionally handsome man... 332 00:19:08,174 --> 00:19:10,313 looks down upon the baby that might be his... 333 00:19:10,479 --> 00:19:12,683 but which he can never claim. 334 00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:20,390 Suddenly a flash of light appears in the sky... 335 00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,598 and a flaming meteor plummets to the Earth. 336 00:19:22,766 --> 00:19:26,082 See, that's me holding the baby. 337 00:19:26,254 --> 00:19:27,847 That's me and the doctor. 338 00:19:28,015 --> 00:19:29,902 And that's me, Judith and the baby. 339 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,810 - Who's that? - Oh, that's just a guy... 340 00:19:32,974 --> 00:19:34,697 who got his thumb sewn back on. 341 00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:37,099 I can't get over how into this baby you are. 342 00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:40,906 It was amazing. The miracle of birth. 343 00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:43,787 If Judith hadn't been there, it would have been perfect. 344 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,812 So you're not against maybe having one of your own someday? 345 00:19:47,982 --> 00:19:49,259 I don't see why not. 346 00:19:49,423 --> 00:19:54,027 Turns out, I like babies, and as you know, I'm a long-time fan of intercourse. 347 00:19:54,606 --> 00:19:55,980 I know. 348 00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:58,604 - Gotta get back to work. - Okay, I'll see you tonight. 349 00:19:58,766 --> 00:19:59,846 - Love you. - Love you too. 350 00:20:00,014 --> 00:20:01,640 - Bye, Allen. - Bye. 351 00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,797 - How's the screenplay coming? - Great. 352 00:20:05,966 --> 00:20:07,821 Still on page one? 353 00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:09,356 Yeah, but now it sizzles. 354 00:20:10,799 --> 00:20:12,522 MIA: Hi, Charlie. 355 00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:17,357 Mia.