1
00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:06,598
I know you hate it
when I review the game tapes...

2
00:00:06,768 --> 00:00:09,354
but that was one for the highlight reel.

3
00:00:10,192 --> 00:00:11,785
The highlight reel?

4
00:00:11,952 --> 00:00:16,708
Yeah, you know,
best-of moments for deathbed reflections.

5
00:00:17,199 --> 00:00:19,109
Only in your memory, right?

6
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,793
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got rid of the camcorder like I promised.

7
00:00:22,959 --> 00:00:24,520
Good.

8
00:00:24,688 --> 00:00:27,557
It's a shame.
The camera really loves you.

9
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:31,306
- Shut up, Charlie.
- I'm not just saying that.

10
00:00:31,472 --> 00:00:35,334
Even from unflattering angles,
you light up the screen.

11
00:00:35,504 --> 00:00:37,194
Oh, I hate you.

12
00:00:37,359 --> 00:00:40,425
That's too bad, because I love you.

13
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,876
Really?

14
00:00:52,623 --> 00:00:53,769
Um...

15
00:00:54,671 --> 00:00:57,486
actually, yes.

16
00:00:58,096 --> 00:00:59,787
Yes, I do.

17
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:01,380
I love you, Chelsea.

18
00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:04,939
Oh, that's so sweet.

19
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:06,695
Thank you.

20
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:17,094
No, no, thank you.

21
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:47,915
Morning.

22
00:01:48,464 --> 00:01:50,286
Always gotta make a comment,
don't you?

23
00:01:52,431 --> 00:01:56,555
Oh, my.
Fitful night's sleep on Alcohol Island?

24
00:01:57,616 --> 00:01:58,925
Keep it up, funny man.

25
00:01:59,088 --> 00:02:01,128
You're gonna be homeless,
wearing a tube top...

26
00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:03,467
and turning tricks
on Santa Monica Boulevard.

27
00:02:04,496 --> 00:02:07,311
Wow, what crawled in your keister
and built a nest?

28
00:02:07,472 --> 00:02:09,294
You wanna know?
You really wanna know?

29
00:02:10,735 --> 00:02:12,361
I've fallen in love with Chelsea.

30
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,516
Oh, well, why are you so upset?
Uh, love is a-A beautiful thing.

31
00:02:16,687 --> 00:02:18,826
Beautiful thing, my ass.

32
00:02:19,567 --> 00:02:20,996
And we're back in your keister.

33
00:02:23,888 --> 00:02:28,044
Last night in bed, I told her I loved her,
and you know what she said?

34
00:02:28,592 --> 00:02:31,243
Uh, "I'm still not gonna
let you do that"?

35
00:02:37,903 --> 00:02:39,561
She said, "Thank you."

36
00:02:40,879 --> 00:02:42,919
Ooh, that's an ice cube
to the man sack.

37
00:02:45,968 --> 00:02:47,277
I don't get it.

38
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,342
I've gone the whole 9 yards
for this relationship.

39
00:02:50,512 --> 00:02:54,603
I gave her her own drawer in my bedroom.
I stopped smoking cigars after sex.

40
00:02:54,768 --> 00:02:56,939
I started seeing a shrink
so I could be sensitive.

41
00:02:57,103 --> 00:02:58,990
I still can't get a freaking "I love you."

42
00:02:59,152 --> 00:03:01,869
But you've obviously
become more sensitive.

43
00:03:03,215 --> 00:03:06,030
For what I've spent on therapy,
I could get expensive hookers...

44
00:03:06,191 --> 00:03:08,558
who will say anything I want.

45
00:03:09,135 --> 00:03:11,557
There's that sensitivity again.

46
00:03:11,727 --> 00:03:12,727
Look on the bright side.

47
00:03:14,031 --> 00:03:16,392
- The bright side?
- When women do tell you they love you...

48
00:03:16,432 --> 00:03:20,523
it usually ends with them tossing a lit
road flare through your bedroom window.

49
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,567
That happened one time.

50
00:03:23,727 --> 00:03:25,799
Why can't you be grateful
for what you've got?

51
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:28,815
- What do I got?
- A woman who may not proclaim her love...

52
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,976
but who doesn't try to set you on fire
while you're sleeping.

53
00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,545
One time.

54
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:38,244
A woman who may not proclaim her love
but who doesn't steal your Mercedes...

55
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:41,961
while you're passed out in the back seat
and drive it into the Pacific Ocean.

56
00:03:42,768 --> 00:03:44,873
Another isolated incident.

57
00:03:46,031 --> 00:03:47,373
I believe I've made my point.

58
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,331
I'm sorry, Alan, but not being drowned
or burned by the woman I love...

59
00:03:52,495 --> 00:03:53,804
is not enough for me.

60
00:03:54,223 --> 00:03:56,231
I want more.

61
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,621
Oh, sure, reach for the stars.

62
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,505
- Hey, Charlie, how's it going?
- Boy, you really blew it this time.

63
00:04:12,431 --> 00:04:14,318
Did I, now? How so?

64
00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:17,668
I've fallen in love with Chelsea.

65
00:04:18,607 --> 00:04:20,582
Ooh, my bad.

66
00:04:20,975 --> 00:04:22,437
Damn right, your bad.

67
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:25,477
Plenty of medications
would've turned me into a happy potato...

68
00:04:25,647 --> 00:04:27,720
but would you prescribe them? No.

69
00:04:28,975 --> 00:04:30,885
You said to get in touch
with my feelings...

70
00:04:31,055 --> 00:04:33,511
and express them
to the people I care about.

71
00:04:33,871 --> 00:04:36,489
Sorry, I must have been drunk.

72
00:04:36,655 --> 00:04:39,525
No, no, no. It's too late for excuses.

73
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,502
I'm sensing something happened
with Chelsea.

74
00:04:42,671 --> 00:04:46,249
Oh, you're good.
There's no sliding anything past you.

75
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:49,255
Hey, last night I dreamt
I was a giant hot dog...

76
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,943
jumping through a doughnut
that looked like my mother.

77
00:04:52,111 --> 00:04:53,704
What do you suppose that means?

78
00:04:54,479 --> 00:04:57,708
All right, Charlie, you've made your point.
Now tell me what happened.

79
00:04:57,871 --> 00:04:59,878
We can go back
to the doughnut dream later.

80
00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,120
It wasn't a real dream.
I was being sarcastic.

81
00:05:02,287 --> 00:05:06,314
Oh, I know, but the fact that you chose that
particular imagery is a little troubling.

82
00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:08,366
Now, what happened with Chelsea?

83
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:11,277
I told her I loved her,
and you know what she said?

84
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,189
This process isn't really about
me guessing, Charlie.

85
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,673
She said, "Thank you."

86
00:05:18,416 --> 00:05:20,717
Interesting. How did that make you feel?

87
00:05:20,879 --> 00:05:24,458
No, no, no. No more feelings.
We tried it your way.

88
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,307
Now just take out your prescription pad
and start scribbling.

89
00:05:27,471 --> 00:05:29,064
You don't need medication, Charlie.

90
00:05:29,231 --> 00:05:31,238
You're actually
making tremendous progress.

91
00:05:31,407 --> 00:05:35,368
- Are you not listening to a thing I say?
- I drift in and out.

92
00:05:37,231 --> 00:05:39,914
The fact that you're upset
tells me you've come a long way...

93
00:05:40,079 --> 00:05:42,414
from the guy
who first walked into this office.

94
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,484
The guy who first walked
into this office...

95
00:05:44,655 --> 00:05:48,365
was a happy-go-lucky, fully functioning
man-whore, and I want him back.

96
00:05:48,847 --> 00:05:50,636
I'm guessing you don't mean that.

97
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,166
Oh, now you're guessing?
A minute ago it was:

98
00:05:53,328 --> 00:05:56,230
- "That's not how the process works."
- A minute ago it didn't.

99
00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:00,837
So are you still seeing Chelsea?

100
00:06:01,935 --> 00:06:06,605
Of course I'm still seeing her,
but now the relationship's totally screwed.

101
00:06:06,768 --> 00:06:09,134
- Why is that?
- She knows I love her.

102
00:06:09,296 --> 00:06:12,525
The whole balance of power
is completely out of whack.

103
00:06:12,975 --> 00:06:13,975
Huh.

104
00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:17,289
Okay, I really don't like it
when you give me the "huh."

105
00:06:18,032 --> 00:06:19,460
Huh.

106
00:06:20,015 --> 00:06:24,292
- Now you're just screwing with me, right?
- There's no sliding anything past you.

107
00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:29,771
So let's talk about this whole
"balance of power" issue of yours.

108
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,197
- What about it?
- Why look at relationships...

109
00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:33,382
as a power struggle?

110
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,595
Because that's what they are.

111
00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:38,181
You saw your parents' relationship
as a power struggle?

112
00:06:38,351 --> 00:06:39,595
Oh, there was no struggle.

113
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,436
My father sat very quietly
while my mother sucked the life out of him.

114
00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:46,822
I see, and you're terrified
of that happening to you.

115
00:06:46,991 --> 00:06:49,358
No, I'm looking forward to it.

116
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,878
Thinking about having a nozzle
attached to my heart...

117
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:55,112
to make the sucking more convenient.

118
00:06:56,175 --> 00:06:57,288
Let me ask you something.

119
00:06:57,455 --> 00:07:01,416
What would it take for you to feel that
things were back in balance with Chelsea?

120
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:04,715
- Simple. She has to tell me she loves me.
- Even if she doesn't feel it?

121
00:07:05,263 --> 00:07:07,565
It's even better if she doesn't feel it...

122
00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:12,809
because that means she's only saying it
because she's afraid to lose me.

123
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:14,406
Wow.

124
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,200
Wow?

125
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:17,367
What's "wow"?

126
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:20,715
Kind of like "huh" but with a
"wuh" and an "ow."

127
00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:26,506
I would suggest that you forget
about getting the "I love you" back...

128
00:07:26,671 --> 00:07:29,159
and focus more on what it feels like
to give love...

129
00:07:29,328 --> 00:07:31,367
maybe for the first time in your life.

130
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:36,935
You know,
I can get the drugs without you.

131
00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:40,230
I got a nephew in junior high.

132
00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:44,134
Do what you gotta do.

133
00:07:44,303 --> 00:07:47,118
Now let's get back
to that mom-shaped doughnut of yours.

134
00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:55,917
- So you really told her you loved her?
- Yeah.

135
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:57,934
Were you loaded?

136
00:07:58,927 --> 00:08:00,454
- No.
- Were you trying to get her...

137
00:08:00,623 --> 00:08:02,445
to do something kinky?

138
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:05,480
- No.
- Did she catch you doing something kinky...

139
00:08:05,647 --> 00:08:07,141
to somebody else?

140
00:08:09,135 --> 00:08:11,470
- No.
- By yourself?

141
00:08:11,631 --> 00:08:12,808
No.

142
00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:15,310
Then I don't get it. What was your angle?

143
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:17,771
My angle was I love her.

144
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:19,142
Huh.

145
00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:22,757
Why does everybody go "huh"?
What's with the "huh"?

146
00:08:22,927 --> 00:08:26,156
- We always knew this day would come.
- What day?

147
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,258
The day you stopped manipulating
and conning women.

148
00:08:29,423 --> 00:08:32,805
The day you dropped your guard
and let an honest emotion into your heart.

149
00:08:33,487 --> 00:08:34,632
That's a good day, right?

150
00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,352
If you don't mind
being some broad's prison bitch.

151
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:44,811
What are you gonna do now?

152
00:08:46,287 --> 00:08:47,287
I don't know.

153
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:50,505
I can't keep seeing her, because the
relationship's out of balance...

154
00:08:50,671 --> 00:08:52,908
and I can't stop seeing her,
because I love her.

155
00:08:53,423 --> 00:08:54,983
I feel for you.

156
00:08:55,151 --> 00:08:57,126
I once loved a guy
who didn't love me back.

157
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,914
- What did you do?
- Ninety days in county.

158
00:09:01,455 --> 00:09:03,429
Plus anger-management classes...

159
00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:06,894
which, by the way,
are a total freaking waste of time.

160
00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:17,514
- Hey.
- Hey.

161
00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:22,468
Have you ever been in love?

162
00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:31,542
Hey, Alan.

163
00:09:31,695 --> 00:09:33,605
Ocupado.

164
00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:37,926
I got it, I got it, I got it.

165
00:09:38,095 --> 00:09:40,550
I know how to restore the balance of power
with Chelsea.

166
00:09:40,719 --> 00:09:43,752
<i>Excuse me. What part of "ocupado"
don't you understand?</i>

167
00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:46,286
<i>The "ocu" or the "pado "?</i>

168
00:09:47,055 --> 00:09:49,673
I understood it all,
I was just hoping you were shaving.

169
00:09:50,095 --> 00:09:52,965
Well, I'm not, and as you well know,
this is an uphill battle for me...

170
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,825
even in the best of circumstances.

171
00:09:54,991 --> 00:09:56,999
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this is important.

172
00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:59,055
I'm gonna get an "I love you"
from Chelsea.

173
00:09:59,215 --> 00:10:02,281
If you let me finish,
you'll get one from me.

174
00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:07,373
Check this out.

175
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,081
Oh, Charlie, this is so sudden.

176
00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:18,189
If you'll wait a few minutes,
I'll have a gift for you.

177
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:29,029
- I'm gonna marry Chelsea.
- Are you serious?

178
00:10:29,199 --> 00:10:32,331
Serious enough to ignore what's going on
right in front of me.

179
00:10:35,311 --> 00:10:39,370
- Well, congratulations, I guess.
- Thank you.

180
00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:42,884
Let's see her not say "I love you" now.

181
00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:48,744
Let's see what marriage does
to his bowels.

182
00:10:58,639 --> 00:11:00,646
- How's your salmon?
- Delicious.

183
00:11:00,815 --> 00:11:04,011
- This is such a romantic restaurant.
- I'm glad you like it.

184
00:11:05,199 --> 00:11:08,068
- Have you been here before?
- No.

185
00:11:10,063 --> 00:11:11,470
Yes.

186
00:11:12,783 --> 00:11:14,310
Well, a couple times.

187
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,445
A lot.

188
00:11:20,655 --> 00:11:23,372
I know you've dated other women.
Why would you lie?

189
00:11:23,822 --> 00:11:25,448
Survival instinct.

190
00:11:25,615 --> 00:11:28,266
Same reason I don't drink
in the bathtub anymore.

191
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,377
What else have you lied to me about?

192
00:11:30,863 --> 00:11:33,383
I don't know.
What else haven't you believed?

193
00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:34,663
You're awful.

194
00:11:35,023 --> 00:11:37,925
- Awful good, right?
- Yeah.

195
00:11:38,095 --> 00:11:40,004
Excuse me, I have to powder my nose.

196
00:11:40,879 --> 00:11:42,537
Okay, who's lying now?

197
00:11:46,063 --> 00:11:47,110
Bobby.

198
00:11:49,263 --> 00:11:50,473
Is everything all right?

199
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,646
Yeah, terrific.
My date's in the ladies' room.

200
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,855
- I need you to do something.
- Not a problem.

201
00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:57,543
I'll have the valet bring your car around
to the alley...

202
00:11:57,711 --> 00:12:00,297
I'll open the men's room window
so you can shimmy out...

203
00:12:00,462 --> 00:12:02,372
and I'll have a cab
take the lady home...

204
00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:05,838
along with the customary
chocolate soufflé to go.

205
00:12:05,999 --> 00:12:09,709
No, no, no, I'm not breaking up with her.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.

206
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,486
I think we need to get some coffee
in you.

207
00:12:14,575 --> 00:12:16,647
I'm not drunk.
I know exactly what I'm doing.

208
00:12:16,815 --> 00:12:18,538
As always.

209
00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:22,477
All I need you to do is bring champagne,
pour a glass for her and a glass for me...

210
00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:25,421
then distract her
so I can slip the ring into her glass.

211
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,688
Oh, how charmingly original.

212
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,893
- You've seen that before?
- Never.

213
00:12:32,687 --> 00:12:34,662
Here she comes. Go get the champagne.

214
00:12:34,831 --> 00:12:37,514
I'll keep the bathroom window open
just in case.

215
00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:41,325
Charlie, there's something
I wanna talk to you about.

216
00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:42,893
Okay.

217
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:48,108
The other day when you said you loved me,
I didn't really respond.

218
00:12:48,271 --> 00:12:51,435
Yes, you did. You said, "Thank you."
You were very courteous.

219
00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:54,635
It's not that I don't have strong feelings
for you.

220
00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:57,701
It's just that taking that extra step
is really hard for me.

221
00:12:57,871 --> 00:12:59,081
Well, don't worry about it.

222
00:12:59,247 --> 00:13:02,859
I'm sure you'll take that step
when it's appropriate. Oh, look, champagne.

223
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:05,677
Ooh, is it a special occasion?

224
00:13:05,838 --> 00:13:09,613
- Every night with you is a special occasion.
- I'm going to miss you, sir.

225
00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:13,702
<i>Go do the thing.</i>

226
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:19,908
Oh, dear.
I hope I'm not having a massive coronary.

227
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,096
- Oh, my God, are you all right?
- I'm not sure.

228
00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:27,753
Yes, I'm fine.

229
00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:31,501
The one waiter in L.A.
who's not an actor.

230
00:13:31,662 --> 00:13:33,255
- What?
- Uh, nothing. Nothing.

231
00:13:34,575 --> 00:13:35,917
A toast.

232
00:13:36,079 --> 00:13:37,453
To saying what we feel.

233
00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:47,053
What the hell did I just swallow?

234
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,185
- A one-bedroom condo.
- What?

235
00:13:50,575 --> 00:13:53,292
I put a diamond ring
in your champagne glass.

236
00:13:53,711 --> 00:13:56,166
- Why?
- What do you mean, "why"?

237
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:59,979
I was gonna propose, and I had no idea
you'd chug it like a Jell-O shot.

238
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:03,787
- That was a ring I just swallowed?
- Who drinks champagne like that?

239
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:06,724
I was thirsty. Stop yelling at me.

240
00:14:06,895 --> 00:14:09,415
How in God's name
could you swallow it so easily?

241
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:12,300
Hey, that's one of the things you love
about me.

242
00:14:13,902 --> 00:14:15,691
- Problem?
- No problem. Go away.

243
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,284
Car's outside, window's open.

244
00:14:18,511 --> 00:14:20,267
- Let's go.
- Where?

245
00:14:20,431 --> 00:14:22,318
- The emergency room.
- Why?

246
00:14:22,479 --> 00:14:24,813
Because I have a ring in my stomach.

247
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:28,012
- Oh, don't worry about that. You'll be fine.
- How do you know?

248
00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:31,491
When Jake was little, he swallowed nickels.
Nothing bad happened.

249
00:14:31,951 --> 00:14:33,707
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

250
00:14:33,871 --> 00:14:36,326
He still shoots one out
every now and then.

251
00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:37,738
Bets me heads or tails.

252
00:14:40,207 --> 00:14:43,338
Just between you and me,
I'm even not sure they're the same nickels.

253
00:14:44,782 --> 00:14:46,375
Trust me.

254
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:49,128
Couple of cups of coffee in the morning,
problem solved.

255
00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:52,938
I suppose you're right.

256
00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:56,644
- So, what do you say?
- What do I say about what?

257
00:14:56,815 --> 00:14:59,465
- I asked you to marry me.
- No, you didn't.

258
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:01,769
I was about to
until you ruined the moment.

259
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,593
I ruined the moment?

260
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:06,061
Okay, okay,
there's no sense in assigning blame.

261
00:15:07,855 --> 00:15:09,928
The point is, I'm proposing.

262
00:15:11,887 --> 00:15:14,734
- You wanna marry me?
- Yes. I love you.

263
00:15:16,527 --> 00:15:20,072
- I don't know what to say.
- Say you love me and you'll marry me.

264
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,597
Charlie, you're kind of putting me
on the spot here.

265
00:15:23,759 --> 00:15:27,371
Yeah, well, that's kind of built in
to the whole proposal concept.

266
00:15:27,951 --> 00:15:30,220
Oh, come on,
just say it so we can be even.

267
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:33,678
Even? Is that what this is about?
Some kind of power thing?

268
00:15:34,190 --> 00:15:38,314
No, no, no, I meant
"so that we can be even closer."

269
00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:40,007
Right.

270
00:15:40,623 --> 00:15:42,346
Okay, that was lame.

271
00:15:42,511 --> 00:15:44,650
- But don't blame me, blame my shrink.
- What?

272
00:15:44,815 --> 00:15:48,076
If I was properly medicated
we wouldn't be having this conversation.

273
00:15:49,102 --> 00:15:51,524
Boy, this keeps getting
more and more romantic.

274
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,220
Look, do you love me or not?

275
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:56,804
- I guess so.
- No guessing.

276
00:15:56,974 --> 00:15:58,535
That's not how the process works.

277
00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:01,399
All right, I love you.

278
00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:04,780
Well, great. Great, good.
That's all I wanted.

279
00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:07,629
- But I won't marry you.
- What?

280
00:16:07,790 --> 00:16:09,962
Oh, yeah, right. That's okay, no biggie.

281
00:16:13,454 --> 00:16:16,073
I just got out of a marriage.
I'm not ready to do it again.

282
00:16:16,238 --> 00:16:17,449
That's fine. I understand.

283
00:16:17,871 --> 00:16:20,292
I'm not saying no.
I'm just saying not now.

284
00:16:20,815 --> 00:16:23,051
Hey, "not now" is my favorite time
for a wedding.

285
00:16:25,262 --> 00:16:27,302
The important thing
is that we love each other.

286
00:16:27,471 --> 00:16:28,878
- Right.
- Equally.

287
00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:30,795
- Yes.
- Fifty-fifty.

288
00:16:31,663 --> 00:16:33,801
If it means that much to you.

289
00:16:33,966 --> 00:16:37,544
Come on, say it again. "I love you."

290
00:16:38,191 --> 00:16:40,231
- No.
- Why not?

291
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,668
I wanna see the ring first.

292
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:50,468
Hey, Berta.

293
00:16:50,638 --> 00:16:53,638
Where do we keep
the spaghetti-strainer thingy?

294
00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:57,221
It's called a colander.
What do you need it for?

295
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,846
It's not for me, it's for Chelsea.

296
00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:05,384
Okay, what kind of Martha Stewart
freak show you got going on up there?

297
00:17:05,871 --> 00:17:10,311
- Trust me, you don't need the details.
- I don't want the details.

298
00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:14,341
I just need to know whether to wash it
or throw it away when you're done.

299
00:17:15,406 --> 00:17:17,414
Oh, I think you'll wanna throw it away.

300
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,324
- Morning.
- Hey, Alan.

301
00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,731
Congratulate me. I'm kind of engaged.

302
00:17:23,278 --> 00:17:26,180
- So she said yes?
- Not exactly.

303
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,139
- You gave her the ring, right?
- Yup.

304
00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:29,303
Well, what did she say?

305
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,242
You had to be there.

306
00:17:35,406 --> 00:17:37,195
Okay. So have you set a date?

307
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:39,655
- For what?
- The wedding.

308
00:17:40,271 --> 00:17:43,915
What wedding?
Nobody's getting married. I'm just engaged.

309
00:17:44,079 --> 00:17:45,901
When do we get to see this rock?

310
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:49,125
Well, Chelsea just finished
her second cup of coffee...

311
00:17:49,294 --> 00:17:51,683
so I'd guess 15, 20 minutes.

312
00:17:55,183 --> 00:17:57,190
Anybody understand
what that was all about?

313
00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,366
I think Chelsea swallowed some nickels.

314
00:18:07,278 --> 00:18:08,772
Chelsea?

315
00:18:08,942 --> 00:18:10,404
Yeah?

316
00:18:10,574 --> 00:18:12,746
You've been in there for a while.
How's it going?

317
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:15,561
Just fine.
- You need any help?

318
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:18,344
I brought Alan's little poop stool.

319
00:18:20,815 --> 00:18:23,782
Go away.
- All right, all right.

320
00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:26,885
But just remember,
when you hear a metallic clink, stop.

321
00:18:27,279 --> 00:18:29,188
I think I can handle it.

322
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:33,865
It's not on my homeowner's policy yet,
so if you flush it by mistake, I'm screwed.

323
00:18:34,222 --> 00:18:36,775
Charlie, I swear,
if you don't walk away from that door...

324
00:18:36,942 --> 00:18:41,001
I will eat a block of cheese,
and you will never see that ring again.

325
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:44,071
- Okay, I'm walking.
Good.

326
00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:47,272
- Love you.
Don't push it, Charlie.

327
00:18:47,439 --> 00:18:48,900
Right back at you.

328
00:18:52,974 --> 00:18:56,771
Oh, Charlie, it's beautiful.