1 00:00:06,544 --> 00:00:08,431 It seems to me that it'd be more fair... 2 00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,820 if everybody on both basketball teams was the same height. 3 00:00:12,976 --> 00:00:15,016 That's how it seems to you, huh? 4 00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:16,455 Yeah, like in boxing... 5 00:00:16,623 --> 00:00:19,787 heavyweights fight heavyweights, lightweights fight lightweights. 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,869 So in your world... 7 00:00:22,031 --> 00:00:24,781 everybody on a basketball team would be, say, 6-foot-5... 8 00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:27,561 and they'd only play other teams that were 6-foot-5? 9 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,445 Exactly. That way, no one would have an unfair advantage. 10 00:00:30,608 --> 00:00:33,706 - Huh. That's very interesting. - You really think so? 11 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:36,237 No, but it's less likely to start a fight than: 12 00:00:36,399 --> 00:00:38,603 "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." 13 00:00:39,088 --> 00:00:40,746 And yet you said it anyway. 14 00:00:42,928 --> 00:00:44,357 Listen, I've gotta talk to you. 15 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,382 Okay, "dumb" was a poor choice of words. 16 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,326 - It's not about that. - Can it wait till halftime? 17 00:00:49,519 --> 00:00:51,079 No. 18 00:00:52,623 --> 00:00:55,493 - I've gotta go to a funeral this weekend. - Oh, man, I'm sorry. 19 00:00:55,695 --> 00:00:57,670 - Who died? - My ex-mother-in-law. 20 00:00:57,871 --> 00:00:59,726 That couldn't wait till halftime? 21 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,196 Charlie. 22 00:01:01,359 --> 00:01:04,229 I'm just saying, she'll still be dead at halftime. 23 00:01:05,103 --> 00:01:08,267 I was very close to her, and I wanna pay my respects. 24 00:01:08,431 --> 00:01:10,155 So I'm going to Santa Barbara... 25 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,451 and I'll be spending the weekend with my ex-husband. 26 00:01:13,648 --> 00:01:15,470 Oh, okay. 27 00:01:20,368 --> 00:01:21,709 Define "with." 28 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,555 Well, everyone's staying at his parents' house. 29 00:01:25,263 --> 00:01:26,987 - Do you want me to come with you? - No. 30 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,000 Great. 31 00:01:32,912 --> 00:01:34,984 - Why not? - You wanna come? 32 00:01:35,184 --> 00:01:37,999 - Hell, no. - That's what I figured. 33 00:01:39,247 --> 00:01:41,833 Look, I just wanna be up-front with you. 34 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,788 I was married to Alex for eight years... 35 00:01:43,951 --> 00:01:46,123 and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 36 00:01:46,288 --> 00:01:49,703 I wouldn't have had any idea if you hadn't felt the need to tell me. 37 00:01:50,063 --> 00:01:52,845 Yeah, well, I don't want us to have secrets from each other. 38 00:01:53,039 --> 00:01:55,406 Oh, I agree. We definitely should not have secrets. 39 00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:58,829 - Right. - You know, from this point forward. 40 00:02:05,775 --> 00:02:07,302 What kind of guy is this Alex? 41 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:08,551 He's a good guy. 42 00:02:08,719 --> 00:02:11,240 We got married too young and wanted different things. 43 00:02:11,439 --> 00:02:13,708 He wanted something different than your things? 44 00:02:13,871 --> 00:02:16,206 Because your things are terrific. 45 00:02:16,816 --> 00:02:17,830 Thank you. 46 00:02:22,799 --> 00:02:25,385 - He didn't go gay on you, did he? - No. 47 00:02:26,064 --> 00:02:27,144 Rats. 48 00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:28,871 Are you jealous? 49 00:02:29,071 --> 00:02:31,406 No, no, of course not. 50 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:33,799 I mean, maybe a little. 51 00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:36,106 You know, in the sense that his mother's dead. 52 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,166 I miss you too, honey. 53 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,215 How was the funeral? 54 00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:17,678 Yeah, I guess they're all pretty sad. 55 00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:21,700 Probably why they don't call them fun-erals. Heh, heh. 56 00:03:22,127 --> 00:03:24,266 Yeah, that was lame. 57 00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:27,212 So where are you now, at the house? 58 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,815 And where is your ex-husband? 59 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:33,645 And where is his room in relationship to yours? 60 00:03:33,807 --> 00:03:36,360 Hey, hey, it's got nothing to do with jealousy. 61 00:03:36,527 --> 00:03:38,764 I just know based on a lifetime of experience... 62 00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:42,670 that penises do not observe a traditional mourning period. 63 00:03:43,503 --> 00:03:46,351 You are not driving my car until you get a learner's permit. 64 00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,518 - Not even in the driveway? - Not anywhere. 65 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,078 If you have a heart attack, can I drive you? 66 00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:52,358 No, call an ambulance. 67 00:03:52,591 --> 00:03:54,184 Fine. 68 00:03:54,511 --> 00:03:57,326 If they don't get here in time, can I have your car? 69 00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:01,581 Hey, hey, hey, there's my posse. 70 00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:04,493 What are we doing tonight, boys? Think big, it's my treat. 71 00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:08,646 - Drunk? - Probably. 72 00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:11,149 - Where's Chelsea? - She had to go out of town. 73 00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:13,765 Oh, so your girlfriend's gone for a couple of days... 74 00:04:13,936 --> 00:04:15,878 and now, suddenly, you have time for us? 75 00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:17,126 Yeah. 76 00:04:18,415 --> 00:04:20,903 Did you ever think that Jake and I already have plans? 77 00:04:21,071 --> 00:04:23,143 Our lives go on even when you're not around? 78 00:04:23,311 --> 00:04:25,864 We don't just pop into existence the moment you need us? 79 00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,209 I'm free. 80 00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:30,699 Me too. I'm just making a point. 81 00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:32,775 So, what's it gonna be? 82 00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:34,055 Movie? Bowling? 83 00:04:34,223 --> 00:04:35,630 Putt-putt? Nevada cathouse? 84 00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,765 I vote for cathouse. 85 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:39,528 Do you know what a cathouse is? 86 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,629 Not firsthand, that's why I voted for it. 87 00:04:47,503 --> 00:04:48,681 A movie would be fine. 88 00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:51,693 All right, movie it is. What's out that's good? 89 00:04:51,888 --> 00:04:54,822 There's a new pirate movie. It's rated "Arrrgh." 90 00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:01,452 You guys have no sense of humor. 91 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:04,741 Can we go to that new theater... 92 00:05:04,911 --> 00:05:07,661 with the reserved seats and the jumbo kosher hot dogs? 93 00:05:07,823 --> 00:05:08,968 You just finished dinner. 94 00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:11,240 That doesn't mean I finished eating. 95 00:05:13,135 --> 00:05:14,509 Hey, Charlie. 96 00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:16,591 Wanda. What are you doing here? 97 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,685 I was in the neighborhood, and I'm drunk and horny. 98 00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:23,022 New plan. 99 00:05:32,304 --> 00:05:33,732 Have I met this one before? 100 00:05:33,903 --> 00:05:36,751 - I doubt it. - She looks familiar. 101 00:05:37,391 --> 00:05:40,490 Blond, busty and bombed? Around here, that's familiar. 102 00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:45,094 - I thought Uncle Charlie liked Chelsea. - He does. 103 00:05:45,296 --> 00:05:46,725 What's he doing with Wanda? 104 00:05:47,503 --> 00:05:48,965 Well, buddy, it's like this: 105 00:05:49,136 --> 00:05:51,241 Uh, despite his many admirable qualities... 106 00:05:51,408 --> 00:05:54,823 your Uncle Charlie is, at heart, a sleazeball. 107 00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:58,340 That's what I figured. I just wanted a second opinion. 108 00:05:58,543 --> 00:06:00,932 Hang on, I'll grab another bottle. 109 00:06:03,023 --> 00:06:05,129 Broad is part camel. 110 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:09,230 Except the humps aren't on her back. 111 00:06:11,631 --> 00:06:14,566 Oh, come on, that was funnier than "Rated 'Arrrgh. "' 112 00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:20,135 I know you're upset. I'll take you to the movie some other time. 113 00:06:20,303 --> 00:06:22,059 This has nothing to do with the movie. 114 00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:25,452 - Then what's the problem? - The problem is you're a sleazeball. 115 00:06:26,447 --> 00:06:27,494 Really? How so? 116 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,903 Oh, please. You're in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman. 117 00:06:31,055 --> 00:06:33,422 When her back is turned, you're out gallivanting. 118 00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:35,209 - Gallivanting? - Screwing around. 119 00:06:35,439 --> 00:06:37,414 Why don't you just say "screwing around"? 120 00:06:38,703 --> 00:06:42,281 Hey, as we speak, Chelsea is doing the same thing I'm doing. 121 00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:45,806 Oh, really? She's pouring liquor down the throat of an inebriated girl? 122 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,460 - Inebriated? - Drunk. 123 00:06:47,631 --> 00:06:49,387 Jeez, who are you showing off for? 124 00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:55,531 At this moment, Chelsea is in the same house as her ex-husband. 125 00:06:55,728 --> 00:06:57,735 - Why? - His mother died. 126 00:06:57,935 --> 00:07:01,350 Oh, my apologies. Clearly, anything you do at this point is justified. 127 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,623 - No, it's not. - I was being disingenuous. 128 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,449 - What? - Sarcastic. 129 00:07:05,679 --> 00:07:08,614 You know, this is why Mom gets pissed off at you so much. 130 00:07:10,511 --> 00:07:12,616 Look, Charlie, do what you want. 131 00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:14,704 If you can live with yourself, more power to you. 132 00:07:14,895 --> 00:07:18,375 If I could live with myself, we'd be having this conversation by telephone. 133 00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:21,380 See, him, I understand. 134 00:07:22,831 --> 00:07:24,457 Charlie, bed, now, come. 135 00:07:26,319 --> 00:07:27,399 Succinct, ain't she? 136 00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,138 Does "succinct" mean what I think it means? 137 00:07:33,551 --> 00:07:35,526 I highly doubt it. 138 00:07:41,103 --> 00:07:42,280 Hello? 139 00:07:43,887 --> 00:07:46,407 Right here, baby. 140 00:07:48,783 --> 00:07:51,500 - Are you okay? - Yeah, why? 141 00:07:52,976 --> 00:07:54,502 Never mind. 142 00:07:54,703 --> 00:07:57,605 Come on, come on, let's get you into bed. 143 00:07:57,776 --> 00:07:59,204 Oh, thank you. 144 00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:01,285 Hey, you remember when we were in Vegas... 145 00:08:01,455 --> 00:08:03,757 I talked that cute waitress into joining us? 146 00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:07,054 - Yeah, I do. - I saw her last week at the Hard Rock. 147 00:08:07,247 --> 00:08:10,094 - No kidding. - She gained a lot of weight. 148 00:08:10,831 --> 00:08:12,489 - Is that so? - Yeah, we were lucky. 149 00:08:12,655 --> 00:08:15,950 We nailed her right before she quit smoking. 150 00:08:17,391 --> 00:08:18,405 Listen, Wanda- 151 00:08:18,575 --> 00:08:20,331 She does smell better though. 152 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,665 - I'm sure, but listen, I- - Like Fritos. 153 00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:29,197 You know what? I gotta check on something. 154 00:08:29,871 --> 00:08:31,813 Well, is it okay if I start without you? 155 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,051 Top drawer, nightstand. Take your pick. 156 00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:40,230 - Ooh. - Careful. The big one's a flashlight. 157 00:08:43,631 --> 00:08:44,646 That was fast. 158 00:08:46,031 --> 00:08:47,721 I'm guessing. 159 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:54,180 You're right, I'm a sleazeball. 160 00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:56,325 Don't tell me you actually had a moral epiphany. 161 00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:59,309 - Uh, "epiphany" means- - Don't bother. 162 00:09:02,863 --> 00:09:04,619 I don't know what you call it... 163 00:09:04,783 --> 00:09:08,776 but I've got a gorgeous, willing girl in my bed, and I'm just not interested. 164 00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:10,884 Maybe you're a gay sleazeball. 165 00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:16,295 I'll tell you what's going on. You care about Chelsea too much... 166 00:09:16,463 --> 00:09:19,529 to cheapen your relationship with a meaningless one-night stand. 167 00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:24,781 You're right, I do care about Chelsea. I'm crazy about her. 168 00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:26,699 Boy, that sucks. 169 00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:31,853 Hello? Oh, hey, Chelsea. 170 00:09:32,015 --> 00:09:33,608 - We were just- - Give me that. 171 00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:35,978 Hey, baby, what's going on? 172 00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:38,022 He did? 173 00:09:38,191 --> 00:09:39,751 At his own mother's funeral? 174 00:09:40,175 --> 00:09:42,597 Her ex-husband put the moves on her. 175 00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:43,880 What a sleazeball. 176 00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:47,979 No, no, no, don't blame yourself. 177 00:09:48,143 --> 00:09:50,598 You were right to go to the funeral. 178 00:09:51,407 --> 00:09:52,968 Tonight? 179 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:56,934 Well, I-I-I'd love to see you tonight. 180 00:09:57,103 --> 00:10:00,965 Isn't it a little late to drive all the way from Santa Barbara? 181 00:10:01,391 --> 00:10:03,300 Oh, you're already on the road. 182 00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:05,613 Oh, that close? 183 00:10:06,062 --> 00:10:07,885 Wonderful. 184 00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:10,408 Drive safe. 185 00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:13,160 Crap, crap, crap. 186 00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:15,365 Crap, crap, crap. 187 00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:18,180 Remember when I was little, if someone said "crap"... 188 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,831 they had to put a dollar in a jar? 189 00:10:19,983 --> 00:10:21,063 I do. 190 00:10:21,263 --> 00:10:22,954 Whatever happened to all that money? 191 00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:29,190 Wanda, don't take this the wrong way, but you gotta get the hell out of here. 192 00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:30,918 Come on, chop-chop. 193 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,979 Wanda? 194 00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,814 Wanda! 195 00:10:50,671 --> 00:10:52,526 Oh, darn. 196 00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:01,670 So the car's a time machine? 197 00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:03,496 Yeah, it's called a DeLorean. 198 00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,572 They don't make them anymore. 199 00:11:06,063 --> 00:11:08,299 CHARLIE: Crap, crap, crap. 200 00:11:08,495 --> 00:11:10,862 - Help. I need help. - What happened? What's wrong? 201 00:11:11,055 --> 00:11:13,673 Wanda passed out, and Chelsea's on her way over. 202 00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:16,009 Interesting story about the DeLorean. 203 00:11:16,655 --> 00:11:18,181 It was built by John DeLorean- 204 00:11:18,383 --> 00:11:20,587 Are you not listening? I've got an emergency here. 205 00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:22,758 A dead girl in your bed is an emergency. 206 00:11:22,927 --> 00:11:24,552 A passed-out girl is a dinner date. 207 00:11:26,479 --> 00:11:28,999 I don't understand why it's called Back to the Future. 208 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,849 They're stuck in the past and they have to get back... 209 00:11:32,047 --> 00:11:33,738 Home. 210 00:11:35,598 --> 00:11:37,125 Oh, for God's sake, come on. 211 00:11:37,295 --> 00:11:40,045 My girlfriend's on her way and I've got a half-naked broad. 212 00:11:40,271 --> 00:11:42,180 Half-naked? I'm your man. 213 00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:45,574 Sit down. 214 00:11:46,799 --> 00:11:48,173 Have you tried waking her up? 215 00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:51,913 Well, of course I've tried waking her up. This is not my first drunk bimbo. 216 00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:53,604 So, what do you expect us to do? 217 00:11:53,807 --> 00:11:55,716 Help me get her dressed, drive her home. 218 00:11:55,919 --> 00:11:57,926 Enough talk. Let's get to it. 219 00:11:58,703 --> 00:12:01,321 I said, sit down. 220 00:12:01,518 --> 00:12:03,558 - Where does she live? - I have no idea. 221 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:07,052 - How am I suppose to drive her home? - Do I have to think of everything? 222 00:12:07,215 --> 00:12:09,125 - Just help me. - All right. 223 00:12:19,535 --> 00:12:22,634 - Wow. - Oh, and I'm a sleazeball? 224 00:12:22,863 --> 00:12:24,805 You're misreading my "wow." 225 00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:28,171 I meant, "Wow, what a predicament." 226 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:29,829 Yeah, right. 227 00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:32,836 Hold her up, I'll put her dress on. 228 00:12:33,071 --> 00:12:36,137 Okay. She's very fit. 229 00:12:36,815 --> 00:12:39,182 - Hold her arms up. - Really soft skin. 230 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:42,725 - Uh-huh. - Mm. Smells nice too. 231 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,284 Why don't you put a chloroform-soaked handkerchief... 232 00:12:45,455 --> 00:12:48,237 over her face and throw her in the back of your panel van? 233 00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:52,390 Sounds like a waste of chloroform, doesn't it? 234 00:12:55,182 --> 00:12:58,150 - You get her head, I'll get her feet. - Why do you get her feet? 235 00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:01,383 - What difference does it make? - I like feet. 236 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,973 Just get her head. 237 00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,441 Okay, on three. 238 00:13:06,607 --> 00:13:08,712 One, two, three. 239 00:13:08,878 --> 00:13:11,399 Oh, oh, oh, goodness. 240 00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:14,092 Slowly, slowly. 241 00:13:14,287 --> 00:13:15,334 Slowly my ass. 242 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,470 - Come on, let's get her out of here. - Charlie, you're going too-Oh, oof. 243 00:13:19,534 --> 00:13:22,568 ALAN: Goodness gracious, these are real. 244 00:13:28,687 --> 00:13:31,883 Slowly, slowly. 245 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,778 Quickly, quickly. 246 00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:40,617 Hi, baby. Come on in. 247 00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:45,258 Oh, Charlie, you were so right about Alex. 248 00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,319 Alex? 249 00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:50,763 Oh, yeah, Alex. 250 00:13:50,927 --> 00:13:53,447 What a sleazeball. Can I get you something to drink? 251 00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:55,534 I just want to get in bed and hold you. 252 00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:57,188 Oh, boy, does that sound good. 253 00:13:57,359 --> 00:14:00,042 - Let me say good night to Jake. - I'll meet you upstairs. 254 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:03,687 You know what, why don't you come say good night too? 255 00:14:03,887 --> 00:14:05,097 Why? 256 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,757 Well, you're my girlfriend... 257 00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:10,788 and he's my nephew, and isn't that enough? 258 00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:12,806 Hey, Jake- 259 00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:16,171 Might wanna hang back a sec. I just ripped off an air biscuit. 260 00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:17,960 - What? - I farted. 261 00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:20,516 Sorry, I get the fancy words from my dad. 262 00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:24,294 Chelsea and I just wanted to say good night. 263 00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:25,989 Okay. 264 00:14:26,222 --> 00:14:27,978 He keeps his feelings bottled up. 265 00:14:28,142 --> 00:14:30,695 Everything else he shoots into the atmosphere. 266 00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,139 - Hi, Chelsea. Hey, Alan. 267 00:14:32,303 --> 00:14:34,539 - Uh, sorry about your ex-mother-in-law. - Thank you. 268 00:14:34,703 --> 00:14:36,645 Hey, Jake, I could really use your help. 269 00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:39,213 - With what? - I'm taking out the- 270 00:14:41,775 --> 00:14:42,920 I'm taking out the trash. 271 00:14:43,535 --> 00:14:45,444 What are you talking about? 272 00:14:45,615 --> 00:14:48,070 The trash, I'm taking it out... 273 00:14:48,302 --> 00:14:50,441 and I could use your help carrying it. 274 00:14:50,638 --> 00:14:52,973 Oh, so now you want my help. 275 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:54,661 Yes, now I want your help. 276 00:14:55,182 --> 00:14:56,775 What about the 20 bucks you owe me? 277 00:14:58,926 --> 00:15:00,453 Charlie? 278 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,648 Here. 279 00:15:04,815 --> 00:15:07,433 Is the trash still out where you can see it? 280 00:15:08,335 --> 00:15:09,611 Never mind. 281 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:12,426 - Just go help your father. - Fine. 282 00:15:12,622 --> 00:15:14,630 - Nice seeing you, Chelsea. - Good night. 283 00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,191 I could have said 50, couldn't I? 284 00:15:17,358 --> 00:15:19,365 You could have said a hundred. 285 00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:21,895 Can we please go to bed now? 286 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,502 Beds are for amateurs. 287 00:15:23,663 --> 00:15:25,157 Ooh, Charlie. 288 00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:33,162 What if Jake comes back? 289 00:15:33,678 --> 00:15:35,718 We'll breathe through our mouths. 290 00:15:41,935 --> 00:15:43,528 She really does look familiar. 291 00:15:43,727 --> 00:15:45,320 Terrific. Just don't drop her. 292 00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,721 I can't wait to tell my friends about this. 293 00:15:47,951 --> 00:15:49,325 You're not telling anybody. 294 00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:51,591 What's the point of doing it if I can't tell? 295 00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:54,758 You've got 20 bucks and a memory, now shut up. 296 00:15:56,047 --> 00:15:57,902 Okay, we've gotta get her in the car. 297 00:15:58,094 --> 00:16:01,029 - Want me to pull it around? - I don't want you to pull it around. 298 00:16:01,199 --> 00:16:03,588 Okay, you pull it around, and I'll stay here with her. 299 00:16:03,983 --> 00:16:05,772 Be very careful. 300 00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:08,612 Come on, let's finish this upstairs. 301 00:16:08,783 --> 00:16:10,638 Move, move, move. 302 00:16:13,135 --> 00:16:14,542 - Chelsea, wait. - What? 303 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:18,054 I'm so happy you're back. 304 00:16:20,495 --> 00:16:22,764 - Hey. - Oh, hey, Alan. 305 00:16:22,927 --> 00:16:25,316 - Is the trash out? - Almost. 306 00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:27,400 Almost ain't gonna cut it. 307 00:16:29,807 --> 00:16:31,978 Did you at least clean out my room? 308 00:16:32,463 --> 00:16:33,673 Yes, I did. 309 00:16:33,902 --> 00:16:35,276 Good, good. 310 00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:36,680 Okay, well, good night. 311 00:16:36,911 --> 00:16:38,765 Uh, Charlie, can I talk to you for a sec? 312 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,995 - About what? - Um... 313 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,214 Recycling. 314 00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:46,573 I'm not quite sure what to do with the big jugs. 315 00:16:49,422 --> 00:16:52,204 Oh, honey, why don't you go up, and I'll be right there? 316 00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:54,057 - Hurry. - I will. 317 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,808 First you need to separate the plastic from the glass. 318 00:16:57,006 --> 00:16:59,723 Then when you get to- What the hell is your problem? 319 00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:01,254 She's in Jake's room. 320 00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:03,692 - What am I supposed to do? - I don't know. 321 00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:06,727 Here's my credit card. Take her to a hotel. 322 00:17:06,927 --> 00:17:08,781 Okay. Chain motel or someplace nicer? 323 00:17:09,582 --> 00:17:12,233 - What? - You know, room service, ocean view. 324 00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,497 That way, when she regains consciousness, she won't feel so cheap. 325 00:17:15,663 --> 00:17:18,630 Plus, in the nicer places, you have a free continental breakfast. 326 00:17:18,799 --> 00:17:21,165 Assorted pastries, freshly squeezed orange juice- 327 00:17:21,358 --> 00:17:23,333 I know what a continental breakfast is. 328 00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:25,956 - Just get her the hell out of here. - Okay, fine. 329 00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:29,288 Oh, Charlie. 330 00:17:29,454 --> 00:17:31,494 - What? - I'm a little low on gas. 331 00:17:31,662 --> 00:17:33,156 - Use the card. - Right, right. 332 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,708 Charlie. - What? 333 00:17:36,943 --> 00:17:39,845 - I'm happy you're trying to make it work. - Go. 334 00:17:48,238 --> 00:17:50,278 What the hell are you doing? 335 00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:52,814 You said I could have a memory. This is it. 336 00:17:53,646 --> 00:17:55,207 - Give me the phone. - Oh, good idea. 337 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,065 I can't get us both in the frame. 338 00:17:58,735 --> 00:18:00,840 Can you make it look like we're talking? 339 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:05,033 - Forget the picture, bring the car around. - Shouldn't someone stay with Wanda? 340 00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,237 Yeah, but it shouldn't be you. 341 00:18:11,503 --> 00:18:13,623 - Give me the keys. - You said I could pull it around. 342 00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:16,843 - I changed my mind. - Okay, I'll tell Mom about Wanda. 343 00:18:21,678 --> 00:18:24,395 One ding, one scratch, and you're dead. 344 00:18:24,558 --> 00:18:27,078 Dude, mellow out. You'll give yourself a heart attack. 345 00:18:37,262 --> 00:18:39,172 Hey, look, it's me. 346 00:18:41,742 --> 00:18:43,531 CHARLIE: I'm glad you came back. 347 00:18:44,174 --> 00:18:48,135 - I don't like it when you're gone. - I don't like it when I'm gone either. 348 00:18:49,518 --> 00:18:52,136 Oh, here they are. 349 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,846 Funny story. 350 00:19:03,662 --> 00:19:06,858 - Take her head, I'll take her feet. - Why do you get to take her feet? 351 00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:10,219 Because I'm in charge of this operation, and I like feet. 352 00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:13,317 Hey. 353 00:19:16,302 --> 00:19:19,172 I guess we don't have to take her to a hotel, huh? 354 00:19:19,342 --> 00:19:20,771 No, we don't. 355 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:22,698 - Get in the car. - Where are we going? 356 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:25,742 Anywhere we want. We've got Uncle Charlie's credit card.