1 00:00:01,423 --> 00:00:04,423 All right, Mrs. Freemantle, we will see you next week. 2 00:00:04,592 --> 00:00:06,315 Oh, thank you, Dr. Harper. 3 00:00:06,479 --> 00:00:09,796 And remember, no more rough sex. Ha, ha. 4 00:00:10,352 --> 00:00:13,221 Dr. Harper, you're terrible. 5 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:17,037 Okay, bye-bye. 6 00:00:19,375 --> 00:00:21,928 I wish I was kidding. The woman's a freak. 7 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,669 You are so good with the patients, Dr. Harper. 8 00:00:25,839 --> 00:00:26,839 Well, thank you. 9 00:00:26,991 --> 00:00:29,162 You're warm and personable and funny, ha, ha. 10 00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:32,644 Oh, I'm all right, ha, ha. But you, the patients love you. 11 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,823 - Heh. No. - Ah, don't give me "no." 12 00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:36,992 - I'm giving you "no." - Well, I'm not taking "no." 13 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,069 - Don't make me blush. - I'm making you blush. 14 00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:41,384 Well, I'm blushing. 15 00:00:45,008 --> 00:00:47,244 - So we all done for the day? - Yeppers. 16 00:00:47,407 --> 00:00:49,163 Mrs. Freemantle was our last patient. 17 00:00:49,327 --> 00:00:52,426 Okay, then, uh, I will see your smiling face tomorrow. Ha, ha. 18 00:00:52,592 --> 00:00:55,374 Well, it's only smiling because it's looking at you. 19 00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,301 - Don't make me blush. - I'm making you blush. 20 00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:00,552 Well, I'm blushing. Ha, ha. 21 00:01:17,904 --> 00:01:18,904 I'm so sorry. 22 00:01:19,631 --> 00:01:22,282 - I-I should apologize. - I'm the one who stepped over the line. 23 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,335 - No, I stepped too. - No, I stepped first. 24 00:01:24,495 --> 00:01:25,989 - No, no- - Don't give me "no, no." 25 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:28,329 I'm giving you "no, no." 26 00:01:40,207 --> 00:01:43,174 - We can't do this. - I'm sorry, I can't help it. 27 00:01:43,343 --> 00:01:44,718 I ache for you. 28 00:01:45,744 --> 00:01:49,966 Yeah, well, I'm not all that comfortable right now either. 29 00:01:53,328 --> 00:01:56,808 - It's-It's just that I- - No, you don't have to explain. 30 00:01:57,839 --> 00:01:59,246 I understand. 31 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,545 Okay. 32 00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:04,973 Okay, well, then, uh, I guess I will see you tomorrow. 33 00:02:07,759 --> 00:02:11,108 I'll be here at, uh, 7:30. 34 00:02:11,279 --> 00:02:13,134 In case you wanna get in early. 35 00:02:17,135 --> 00:02:22,154 Oh, okay. Uh, I might actually wanna get in early. 36 00:02:23,215 --> 00:02:24,644 You're the boss. 37 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:28,110 You can get in anytime you want. 38 00:02:32,495 --> 00:02:33,495 Oh, God. 39 00:03:04,847 --> 00:03:07,335 - Hi. - Hey. 40 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:08,811 Mind if I watch the game? 41 00:03:08,975 --> 00:03:11,593 Uh, actually, I came in here for a little quiet time. 42 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,904 Huh. 43 00:03:17,904 --> 00:03:21,351 Still quieter than sleeping under the Santa Monica Pier. 44 00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:29,798 - I'm conflicted, Charlie. - Shh, quiet time. 45 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,421 Do you think you can choose who you love? 46 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:38,827 Oh, boy. 47 00:03:41,711 --> 00:03:43,783 What's his name? 48 00:03:45,711 --> 00:03:47,500 What-? No. 49 00:03:47,664 --> 00:03:49,671 All right. Come out when you're ready. 50 00:03:55,215 --> 00:03:56,906 Do you remember my receptionist? 51 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,624 The itsy-bitsy spider who climbed up my waterspout? 52 00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:03,310 Yeah, whatever happened to her? 53 00:04:03,823 --> 00:04:05,798 You dumped her after one depraved weekend. 54 00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:08,138 And I had to give her a raise, health insurance... 55 00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:10,605 and a paid vacation to keep her from quitting. 56 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:13,134 Oh, good, thanks for smoothing that over for me. 57 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,167 Hey, you think she has plans for this weekend? 58 00:04:17,328 --> 00:04:18,473 What is wrong with you? 59 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,480 Uh, I am trying to tell you that I am starting to have feelings for her. 60 00:04:21,935 --> 00:04:22,935 For who? 61 00:04:24,048 --> 00:04:27,114 - For Melissa. - Who's Melissa? 62 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,222 My receptionist. 63 00:04:29,871 --> 00:04:31,278 Oh... 64 00:04:32,047 --> 00:04:34,316 So I should forget about this weekend? 65 00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:36,552 Yes, you should forget about this weekend! 66 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,594 I was just asking, you don't have to bite my head off. 67 00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,093 So you and her are, uh...? 68 00:04:42,255 --> 00:04:44,492 Oh, no, no, no, nothing's happened yet. 69 00:04:44,656 --> 00:04:48,878 Just a little kissing, and she could feel my enthusiasm. 70 00:04:49,871 --> 00:04:52,871 What are you, Noël Coward? Just say "boner." 71 00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:02,213 Why do I bother talking to you? 72 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,715 Beats the hell out of me. 73 00:05:05,711 --> 00:05:08,329 The thing is, uh, Melissa and I have this chemistry... 74 00:05:08,495 --> 00:05:10,405 and it's really hard not to act on it. 75 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,332 Yeah. It's tough when you work together. 76 00:05:12,496 --> 00:05:13,805 Right. 77 00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,521 - You don't crap where you eat. - I know. 78 00:05:16,975 --> 00:05:19,692 You don't dip your pen in company ink. 79 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,688 And you never bang a woman who owns a snake or a bird. 80 00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:28,236 - What? - They're usually nuts. 81 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,419 So, what you're faced with here is a moral dilemma. 82 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:34,761 Ah, I'll say. 83 00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:37,513 Whether or not to have a relationship with your employee. 84 00:05:37,679 --> 00:05:39,272 Exactly. 85 00:05:41,935 --> 00:05:43,462 - I got it, I got it. - Oh, you do? 86 00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,372 Fire her, then boink her. 87 00:05:49,711 --> 00:05:50,758 I don't got it? 88 00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:53,998 You don't got it. 89 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:02,346 I'm right about the snakes and birds though. 90 00:06:06,895 --> 00:06:09,546 Really? The one who works for him? 91 00:06:09,711 --> 00:06:12,646 - Yep. - Tinker Bell with the knockers? 92 00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:15,543 The same. 93 00:06:16,368 --> 00:06:19,182 Well, everybody makes that mistake once. 94 00:06:19,343 --> 00:06:20,870 I crossed that line in the '70s... 95 00:06:21,039 --> 00:06:24,073 when I was cleaning house for Mr. Telly Savalas. 96 00:06:25,487 --> 00:06:28,586 - No kidding, TV's Kojak? - One and the same. 97 00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:30,725 - What happened? - What do you think happened? 98 00:06:30,895 --> 00:06:32,783 He's Greek, a man of passion. 99 00:06:32,943 --> 00:06:35,757 You can't tie your shoes around those guys. 100 00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:43,404 - That's rough. - Bet your ass, it's rough. 101 00:06:46,351 --> 00:06:48,140 - Morning. CHARLIE: Morning. 102 00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:52,263 So, Zippy, I hear you've been sinking your putts on the company golf course. 103 00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:57,998 Thanks for telling her. 104 00:06:58,159 --> 00:07:00,133 Thanks for telling me. 105 00:07:00,975 --> 00:07:02,437 Word of advice: 106 00:07:02,607 --> 00:07:04,974 It may seem like fun and games at the beginning... 107 00:07:05,135 --> 00:07:07,982 but mark my words, sooner or later you're gonna wake up... 108 00:07:08,143 --> 00:07:11,558 with a broken heart and a lollipop stuck to your keister. 109 00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:20,397 You wanna explain that to me? 110 00:07:20,559 --> 00:07:22,152 I'd rather forget I ever heard it. 111 00:07:24,079 --> 00:07:26,119 So decided what you're gonna do about Melissa? 112 00:07:26,287 --> 00:07:29,833 Oh, there's nothing to do. Just have to take the physical feelings I have for her... 113 00:07:29,999 --> 00:07:32,552 and channel them into something creative, productive... 114 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:34,180 something that'll last. 115 00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:37,646 You're gonna have sex with the vacuum cleaner again, aren't you? 116 00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,198 That wasn't sex, that was an accident. 117 00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:45,928 Once is an accident. 118 00:07:57,103 --> 00:07:59,525 - Morning, Melissa. - Good morning, Dr. Harper. 119 00:08:00,111 --> 00:08:01,540 How's my schedule look today? 120 00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:03,948 It's packed pretty tight. 121 00:08:04,687 --> 00:08:06,116 Oh, okay. Uh, tight's good. 122 00:08:07,247 --> 00:08:10,563 You know, better tight than, uh... You know... 123 00:08:10,735 --> 00:08:13,004 Thank God for scoliosis, ha, ha. 124 00:08:14,447 --> 00:08:15,854 Um... 125 00:08:16,015 --> 00:08:19,910 Listen, Melissa, um, about what happened yesterday- 126 00:08:20,079 --> 00:08:22,250 Please, you don't have to say anything. 127 00:08:22,415 --> 00:08:24,455 Yes, yes I do. 128 00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:26,859 We obviously have feelings for each other. 129 00:08:28,431 --> 00:08:32,173 There's nothing wrong with that. It's a beautiful thing. It's-It's natural. 130 00:08:33,007 --> 00:08:37,197 But for us to maintain a working relationship and, I hope, friendship... 131 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:42,439 I think it would be unwise to succumb to those feelings. 132 00:08:42,895 --> 00:08:44,237 I agree. 133 00:08:44,719 --> 00:08:46,791 Oh, good. Good. I'm glad, ha, ha. 134 00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,559 Oh, well- Now we got that out of the way. 135 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:51,844 Uh, what time does my packed schedule begin? 136 00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,022 Uh, not for a half-hour. 137 00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:56,503 Half-hour? 138 00:08:57,423 --> 00:08:59,081 Yeppers. 139 00:09:00,943 --> 00:09:02,120 Nothing for a half-hour? 140 00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:04,175 Wide open. 141 00:09:11,599 --> 00:09:13,125 Everything work out at the office? 142 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,435 Uh-huh. 143 00:09:15,599 --> 00:09:18,566 Managed to keep your hands off Really Little Annie Fanny? 144 00:09:20,271 --> 00:09:24,013 Well, not exactly. But, uh, we did keep it above the waist. 145 00:09:24,879 --> 00:09:27,018 Her waist or yours? 146 00:09:28,431 --> 00:09:32,555 Both. And it wasn't easy. I haven't checked, but I'm pretty sure... 147 00:09:32,719 --> 00:09:36,014 my balls look like two-thirds of the Blue Man Group. 148 00:09:41,775 --> 00:09:43,847 Berta, hide the vacuum cleaner! 149 00:09:46,511 --> 00:09:50,766 For the last time, I use it to get lint off my trousers. 150 00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:55,273 Then why do you call it Brenda? 151 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,949 So when the mood strikes and she's ready... 152 00:10:04,111 --> 00:10:05,704 you'll be ready too. 153 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:09,962 Ready today, ready tonight, ready tomorrow. 154 00:10:11,215 --> 00:10:12,590 I'm ready now. 155 00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:18,350 What's he ready for? 156 00:10:18,511 --> 00:10:22,919 If I were to guess, I'd say he's ready to screw up his life a little more. 157 00:10:23,439 --> 00:10:25,806 Is that even possible? 158 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,750 We'll see. 159 00:10:29,743 --> 00:10:31,434 I'm hungry. 160 00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:35,590 - So eat something. - There's nothing here I like. 161 00:10:36,078 --> 00:10:38,315 Welcome to my world. 162 00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:49,549 Why are we eating here? 163 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,830 If I have to watch you stuff your face, I'm gonna need a drink. 164 00:10:56,687 --> 00:10:59,208 - Am I even allowed to be in a bar? - Probably not. 165 00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:02,058 So if anybody asks, you're a homely lesbian. 166 00:11:02,415 --> 00:11:03,822 Why do I have to be homely? 167 00:11:04,335 --> 00:11:06,473 Just sit down. 168 00:11:08,623 --> 00:11:09,800 What's that smell? 169 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,093 Stale beer, vomit, urine. 170 00:11:13,262 --> 00:11:14,757 You hungry? 171 00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:16,744 - Hey, Charlie. - Oh, hey, Janine. 172 00:11:16,911 --> 00:11:19,016 - This is my nephew, Jake. - Hey, Jake. 173 00:11:19,183 --> 00:11:20,426 How old are you, sweetheart? 174 00:11:20,590 --> 00:11:23,176 Keep your hands off him, Janine. He's married. 175 00:11:23,343 --> 00:11:25,252 I thought I was a lesbian. 176 00:11:25,807 --> 00:11:28,621 We're just gonna have a couple of hamburgers, a basket of fries. 177 00:11:28,783 --> 00:11:30,343 He'll have soda, I'll have a draft. 178 00:11:30,511 --> 00:11:33,413 That's not a very healthy dinner for a growing boy. 179 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,183 Oh, don't worry, he can process anything. 180 00:11:35,342 --> 00:11:37,895 The other day he ate a handful of packing peanuts. 181 00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:39,624 You bet me 10 bucks I wouldn't. 182 00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:41,798 Oh, Charlie, shame on you. 183 00:11:41,966 --> 00:11:43,854 Yeah, shame on you. 184 00:11:45,423 --> 00:11:47,812 Tell you what, Jake. I get out of here in 10 minutes. 185 00:11:47,983 --> 00:11:49,739 Get your uncle to bring you to my place. 186 00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,877 I'll cook you a nice, healthy dinner. 187 00:11:52,431 --> 00:11:54,886 Thanks, but I'm already healthy. I'll have a hamburger. 188 00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:58,567 No, you won't. We'll be there. 189 00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:01,735 - I don't get a vote? - You're lucky you're getting dinner. 190 00:12:01,903 --> 00:12:04,653 - Thanks, Janine. - You're welcome. 191 00:12:06,799 --> 00:12:09,319 What is wrong with you? Turning that down? 192 00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:12,902 Excuse me, but we have no idea what kind of cook she is. 193 00:12:13,071 --> 00:12:14,533 Oh, God. 194 00:12:14,702 --> 00:12:17,550 For all we know, she's a vegetarian. 195 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,743 - Dr. Harper, what are you doing here? - What do you think I'm doing here? 196 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,187 Please don't make me guess. 197 00:12:26,351 --> 00:12:27,660 I'm making you guess. 198 00:12:35,919 --> 00:12:37,545 Correct. 199 00:12:38,287 --> 00:12:40,010 Melissa, honey, who's here? 200 00:12:40,174 --> 00:12:43,884 Uh, Mom, this is my boss, Dr. Harper. 201 00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:49,063 Dr. Harper, this is my mother. 202 00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:50,743 Hello. 203 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,585 Hello, yourself. 204 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,303 I understand there's been some inappropriate behavior... 205 00:12:55,471 --> 00:12:57,610 in the workplace. 206 00:12:57,775 --> 00:12:59,630 Oh. Yeah, well, uh, about that. 207 00:12:59,791 --> 00:13:02,889 I just want you to know that I have nothing but respect your daughter. 208 00:13:03,055 --> 00:13:07,333 - And I would never do anything to- - I'm just yanking your chain. 209 00:13:07,502 --> 00:13:10,055 Ain't nothing wrong with bedding the boss. 210 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,612 That's how I wound up with the little princess here. 211 00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:15,019 And half of Black Angus franchise. 212 00:13:16,207 --> 00:13:18,573 Well, come on in, I'm watching Hellboy. 213 00:13:20,975 --> 00:13:23,757 - Okay. Thanks. Hmm... 214 00:13:23,919 --> 00:13:25,894 You smoke dope? 215 00:13:29,711 --> 00:13:32,678 - This is, like, the best dinner ever. - I'm glad you liked it, Jake. 216 00:13:32,847 --> 00:13:36,163 - You are a great cook. - And you are a cutie pie. 217 00:13:36,335 --> 00:13:38,407 Oh, I could just eat you up. 218 00:13:39,246 --> 00:13:40,937 - You want another root beer? - Sure. 219 00:13:41,102 --> 00:13:43,207 Coming right up. 220 00:13:48,238 --> 00:13:50,479 Listen, buddy, you're gonna have to make yourself scarce. 221 00:13:50,575 --> 00:13:51,655 Maybe take a cab home. 222 00:13:51,822 --> 00:13:54,692 You take a cab home. I'm doing great. 223 00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:57,837 - How do you figure? - You blind? 224 00:13:57,999 --> 00:14:00,649 First base on the top of my head, second base in my ear. 225 00:14:02,063 --> 00:14:05,063 Listen, knucklehead. That woman's gotta be 10 years older than you. 226 00:14:05,231 --> 00:14:07,565 So? You're like, 15 years older than her. 227 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,306 Step aside, grandpa. 228 00:14:13,423 --> 00:14:15,114 Okay, fun time's over. 229 00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,548 - Go wait in the car. - You go wait in the car. 230 00:14:17,711 --> 00:14:19,947 - No, you go. - No, you go. 231 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,845 How about I put ice cream in that root beer and make it a float? 232 00:14:24,014 --> 00:14:25,989 Thank you, that'd be great. 233 00:14:27,055 --> 00:14:29,444 It's like she can read my mind. 234 00:14:30,159 --> 00:14:33,006 Go get in the car. 235 00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:36,166 Fine, I'll just go tell Janine you want me to wait in the car by myself... 236 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,090 so you can try and have sex with her. 237 00:14:40,751 --> 00:14:42,409 Sit down, you little bastard. 238 00:14:44,878 --> 00:14:48,140 Now, this picture here is toward the end of my labor. 239 00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:53,000 That's my vagina... 240 00:14:53,774 --> 00:14:58,281 and that's Melissa's little head poking out of me like a groundhog. 241 00:14:58,447 --> 00:14:59,854 Mm. 242 00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:04,935 Hey, I guess if she'd seen her shadow, I would've had six more weeks of labor. 243 00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:09,159 - It's funny. - Ha, ha. 244 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:12,523 You know, of all my kids, she was the easiest. 245 00:15:12,687 --> 00:15:16,680 Just like popping out a Ping-Pong ball. Ha, ha. 246 00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:18,986 - That's quite an image. - Yeah. 247 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,060 Oh, and it was a natural childbirth too. 248 00:15:21,231 --> 00:15:25,803 No drugs, just a couple peyote buttons and biting down on a rope. 249 00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:31,018 Mom, would you mind if Dr. Harper and I have a little time alone? 250 00:15:31,695 --> 00:15:33,102 I'm sorry, honey. 251 00:15:33,263 --> 00:15:36,776 You kids must be as horny as a couple of drunken rabbits. 252 00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:39,372 Enjoy. 253 00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:43,495 Oh, and, uh, Kama Sutra's on the bookshelf... 254 00:15:43,663 --> 00:15:47,045 in case you feel like pushing the envelope. 255 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,342 I'm sorry about that. 256 00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,965 Mom never really made it home from Woodstock. 257 00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:56,172 Don't be silly. She's delightful. 258 00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:58,189 I'm just gonna close this up now. 259 00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:06,888 Don't mind me. 260 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,539 I'm just gonna roll a fatty in the backyard... 261 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,321 and zone out in the hammock. 262 00:16:18,702 --> 00:16:21,604 - Ah, that hit the spot. - I'm glad you liked it. 263 00:16:21,775 --> 00:16:24,492 The best part of a root beer float: Your burps taste good. 264 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,866 Listen, Janine, thanks for everything... 265 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:32,932 but I should probably get this little guy home and come back. 266 00:16:33,102 --> 00:16:34,379 It's way past his bedtime. 267 00:16:35,086 --> 00:16:37,574 What are you talking about? It's not past my bedtime. 268 00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:41,411 What do you wanna bet he falls asleep in the car and I have to carry him in? 269 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:44,713 What do you wanna bet he has to take a laxative... 270 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,017 because he's too old to poop normal? 271 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:52,333 - All right, that's it. - Not in the face! Not in the face! 272 00:16:53,487 --> 00:16:57,894 What? Stop that. He's kidding. I never hit him. Tell her you're kidding. 273 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,904 I'm kidding about that, but he can be verbally abusive. 274 00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:05,544 - Not funny, Jake. - The liquor makes him mean. 275 00:17:05,998 --> 00:17:09,294 Okay, I didn't wanna have to do this, but I am calling your father. 276 00:17:09,455 --> 00:17:10,764 Let him deal with you. 277 00:17:10,927 --> 00:17:13,098 I'm gonna go straighten up in the kitchen. 278 00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:17,837 You don't know who you're messing with. 279 00:17:17,999 --> 00:17:20,617 Are you kidding? I think she's gorgeous! 280 00:17:23,086 --> 00:17:25,094 Ow! Ow! 281 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,560 You don't know who you're messing with. 282 00:17:41,614 --> 00:17:44,484 Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, hang on. 283 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,106 Charlie, now is not a good time. 284 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,798 All right, put him on. 285 00:17:54,254 --> 00:17:57,702 I can't talk now, Dad. I'm about to get lucky with an older woman. 286 00:17:58,350 --> 00:18:00,489 What? Where are you? 287 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:02,248 Jake? Jake? 288 00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:08,684 Alan... 289 00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:13,286 would you be totally weirded out by a little mother-daughter tag team? 290 00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:27,943 Hope you're happy. 291 00:18:28,495 --> 00:18:30,350 I hope you're happy. 292 00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:32,551 Could have been happy. 293 00:18:33,006 --> 00:18:34,916 Are you gonna tell me what happened tonight? 294 00:18:35,086 --> 00:18:36,493 You don't wanna know. 295 00:18:37,775 --> 00:18:38,854 Where you going? 296 00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:41,415 I'm a 14-year-old boy who recently got ear-boob. 297 00:18:41,582 --> 00:18:42,989 Where do you think I'm going? 298 00:18:45,103 --> 00:18:46,346 Ear-boob? 299 00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,654 You don't wanna know. 300 00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:51,972 - So how'd it go with Melissa? - You don't wanna know. 301 00:18:52,591 --> 00:18:53,900 Oh, come on. 302 00:18:54,062 --> 00:18:58,088 All right. I met her mom, saw a photo of mom's vagina... 303 00:18:58,255 --> 00:19:01,451 and chose to leave before being introduced to the real thing. 304 00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,997 You're right, I didn't wanna know. 305 00:19:08,207 --> 00:19:11,851 - Where are you going? - I'm a 40-year-old guy who recently- 306 00:19:12,014 --> 00:19:14,949 Ah, screw it. I'm gonna go play with myself. 307 00:19:15,598 --> 00:19:18,413 Hey, that I didn't wanna know. 308 00:19:20,335 --> 00:19:22,309 Still, not a bad idea.