1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,440 Got your homework done? 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,120 - All of it? - Yep. 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,280 Attaboy. You just get to kick back this weekend. 4 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,240 That's my plan. 5 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,520 Except...? 6 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,160 Except nothing. 7 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:16,920 Well, excuse me. 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,960 - Oh, yeah. - There it is. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,040 I might have to write a book report for Monday. 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,080 What do you mean you might have to? 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,200 If there's no earthquake by Monday morning... 12 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,800 ...I have to write a book report. 13 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,200 Oh, God. So, what's the book? 14 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,680 William Shakespeare's The Taming Of The Shrew. 15 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,840 By William Shakespeare. 16 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,960 That'll come in handy when he's mopping out the toilets at the House of Pancakes. 17 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,160 You know, I could go for some pancakes. 18 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,200 Jake, please tell me you read the book. 19 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,160 I really wish I could, Dad. 20 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,280 I was gonna read it, but I can't find it. 21 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,640 You lost the book? 22 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,640 What do you intend to do about the report? 23 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,679 You mean aside from the earthquake? 24 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,159 Yeah. 25 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,439 Well, I kind of put all my eggs in the earthquake basket. 26 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,520 Get dressed. We're going to the store. 27 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,360 - Well, can we stop for pancakes? - Go. 28 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,520 I bet you're sorry you took all that LSD before you had him. 29 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,879 I never took any LSD. 30 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,759 You might wanna start telling people you did. 31 00:01:31,121 --> 00:01:33,721 Unbelievable. You had four weeks to write this book report. 32 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,921 Get over it, Dad. 33 00:01:36,961 --> 00:01:37,961 Yeah, Alan. Relax. 34 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,600 He'll have eight weeks of summer school to do it. 35 00:01:41,081 --> 00:01:42,640 Unless there's an earthquake. 36 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:47,641 Excuse me, could you tell me where the classic literature section is? 37 00:01:47,801 --> 00:01:50,041 - Third floor near the restroom. - Thank you. 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,921 Go ahead. I'm gonna look at magazines. 39 00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:55,241 They don't sell those kinds of magazines here. I checked. 40 00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:58,521 Come on, you little perv. Meet me back here. 41 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,400 Wait, was that an earthquake? 42 00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:06,841 Can I help you find anything? 43 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,881 Yeah, I'm looking for a book. 44 00:02:11,961 --> 00:02:13,681 You probably need more than that. 45 00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:16,561 I want a book about, you know, relationship stuff. 46 00:02:17,521 --> 00:02:19,321 Relationship stuff. 47 00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:23,601 No, not "relationship stuff," just relationship stuff. 48 00:02:23,961 --> 00:02:25,361 In the self-help section. 49 00:02:26,201 --> 00:02:28,880 - Thanks. - Best of luck. 50 00:02:32,081 --> 00:02:34,321 This is worse than buying condoms. 51 00:02:35,961 --> 00:02:37,561 Okay, let's see. 52 00:02:37,721 --> 00:02:39,601 "Why Relationships Fail." 53 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,521 "Smart Women, Foolish Choices." 54 00:02:43,201 --> 00:02:45,241 Thank God for those gals. 55 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,321 - Excuse me. - Sorry. 56 00:02:47,481 --> 00:02:49,040 Oh, "Embracing Your Soul Mate." 57 00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:53,241 Oh, "soul mate." I thought it was "cellmate." 58 00:02:54,681 --> 00:02:56,320 You know, a prison love story? 59 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,721 I see. 60 00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,160 Not that I'm into prison love stories. 61 00:03:00,321 --> 00:03:01,841 I like the girls-in-prison stuff. 62 00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:05,880 Oh, who am I kidding? 63 00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:07,921 I'm looking for some help, okay? 64 00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:11,640 You're not alone. There are millions of people looking for help. 65 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,201 Gee, thanks for making me feel special. 66 00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:17,000 Let me ask you something. 67 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,921 What would you change about yourself if you could? 68 00:03:20,081 --> 00:03:22,401 - I don't know, little things, I guess. - Like what? 69 00:03:23,081 --> 00:03:25,080 Well, I guess I'd like to be a little happier. 70 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,201 Maybe find a way to sustain a healthy relationship with a woman... 71 00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:31,160 ...so I don't, you know, grow old and die alone... 72 00:03:31,321 --> 00:03:33,600 ...incontinent and unloved. 73 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,241 Yes, the little things. 74 00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:38,800 Can I recommend a book for you? 75 00:03:39,401 --> 00:03:40,561 Well, as long as I'm here. 76 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:50,521 "Breaking Barriers: Finding The Intimacy You Deserve." 77 00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:53,600 I don't know. I was hoping to do better than I deserve. 78 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,120 Give it a chance. I hear it's helped a lot of people. 79 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,560 For 25 bucks, it better wash my car. 80 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,800 Wait a minute, is this you? 81 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,000 Armor All's extra. 82 00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:09,680 - Cool. Will you sign it for me? - Oh, I'd be happy to. What's your name? 83 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,680 - Charlie. - Okay. 84 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:14,001 Great. 85 00:04:14,161 --> 00:04:17,401 Now, that it's autographed, I'm not a loser, I'm a collector. 86 00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,240 Here you go. 87 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:26,201 "To Charlie, reading a self-help book doesn't make you less of a man." 88 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,880 Okay, back to loser. 89 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,680 You're not a loser. 90 00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:33,081 Like most men, you're just afraid to be vulnerable. 91 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,280 Excuse me, but what sane person wants to be vulnerable? 92 00:04:36,921 --> 00:04:39,121 If you're not vulnerable, you can't feel anything. 93 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,881 Yeah, and? 94 00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:42,720 Read the book. 95 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,841 Wait. 96 00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:47,680 Can I buy you a cup of coffee? 97 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,321 - Why? - I'd like to talk to you some more. 98 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,681 Are you still gonna buy the book? 99 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,200 I have to. You wrote all over it. 100 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,920 - Then sure, why not? - Great. 101 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,481 If I give you the money, will you pay for it? 102 00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:03,361 I don't need any more sympathy from the help. 103 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,561 What's a shrew anyway? 104 00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:07,280 Oh, it's a small rodent. 105 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,241 Oh, so this is like Stuart Little? 106 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,680 No, no, it's about a man trying to control a willful, angry woman. 107 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,121 Is he trying to control her with rodents? 108 00:05:17,761 --> 00:05:19,320 I don't wanna spoil it for you. 109 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,760 Let's just find your Uncle Charlie and get out of here. 110 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,280 Excuse me, have you seen a guy, dark hair, bowling shirt, shorts? 111 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,200 Oh, yeah, the self-help guy. 112 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,880 No, that doesn't sound like him. 113 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,401 A guy like that just left with a pretty blond woman. 114 00:05:33,561 --> 00:05:35,520 That sounds like him. 115 00:05:36,121 --> 00:05:37,440 Dad, this is the wrong book. 116 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,040 - What are you talking about? - It's in some sort of foreign language. 117 00:05:41,201 --> 00:05:42,881 It's Elizabethan. 118 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,801 Well, can we get one in English? 119 00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:47,560 Walk. 120 00:05:51,761 --> 00:05:54,080 How could you have already lost the book? 121 00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,800 I didn't do it on purpose. What are you yelling at me for? 122 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,120 Because it's one of the few pleasures of being your father. 123 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,361 - Oh, look who's here. Thanks a lot. - What did I do? 124 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,800 You stranded us at the mall. We had to take the bus. 125 00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:12,280 The bus, I left the book on the bus. There, mystery solved. 126 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,200 Go get in the car. 127 00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:17,240 - Where are we going? - Where do you think we're going? 128 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,280 Well, we never did get those pancakes. 129 00:06:21,401 --> 00:06:23,560 We're going to the bookstore to buy another book. 130 00:06:23,721 --> 00:06:26,320 - This one's coming out of your allowance. - What allowance? 131 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,440 - I'm supposed to be getting an allowance? - Go get your shoes. 132 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,641 - Did you guys feel that? - Move it. 133 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,121 So guess what. 134 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,600 I'm gonna transform my life and get the intimacy I deserve. 135 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,120 Fantastic. 136 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,040 You work on that while I go back to the mall with taterhead. 137 00:06:54,441 --> 00:06:57,360 Not only that, I met the author and she's amazing. 138 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,120 - The woman you dumped us for? - Yeah, know what she told me? 139 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,441 No idea. 140 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,320 She told me that my fear of being hurt keeps me from feeling anything at all. 141 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,400 It's like I'm living in an emotional prison that I built myself. 142 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,000 How about that? You abandoned us. 143 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:12,920 I know, but get this. 144 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,520 I'm not just a prisoner, I'm the warden. 145 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,000 We had to take two buses and walk a mile on the Pacific Coast Highway... 146 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,320 ...during rush hour. 147 00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,840 I get it. I understand. 148 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,601 But the good news is I hold the keys to my own freedom. 149 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,600 There's no sidewalk on the Pacific Coast highway. 150 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,760 Okay, okay, I hear you. 151 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,400 You're angry and resentful. 152 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,161 But what you need to understand... 153 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:43,001 ...is that resentment is the mortar that holds the bricks of Ioneliness together... 154 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,080 ...in a wall of alienation and despair. 155 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,001 Chapter 3, "Knocking Down the Wall." 156 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,560 Bite me. 157 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,720 That's Chapter 1 in my forthcoming book entitled Bite Me. 158 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,160 Chapter 2 is called, "Kiss My Pale White Ass." 159 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,240 - We can't go back to the mall. - Why not? 160 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,800 My shoes are missing. 161 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,080 Another mystery solved. 162 00:08:15,641 --> 00:08:16,640 Wrong foot, buddy. 163 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:19,760 Oh, yeah, thanks. 164 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,200 Guess I should be reading Taming of the Shoe. 165 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,000 Get it? 166 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,080 You might wanna start thinking about having him neutered. 167 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,320 This is delicious. 168 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,240 I've never had Ethiopian food before. 169 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,240 I've loved it ever since I lived in Ethiopia. 170 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,000 When did you live there? 171 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:48,800 Let's see. 172 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,680 It would have to be 1972. 173 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,320 1972? Were you born there? 174 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,120 Don't be silly. This was right after college. I was in the Peace Corps. 175 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,080 College, 1972. 176 00:09:04,599 --> 00:09:05,600 Need a pencil? 177 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,920 No, no, no. 178 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,440 I was just thinking what I was doing in 1972. 179 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,840 Oh, tell me. 180 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,560 I don't have a vivid memory of it... 181 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,840 ...but I'm sure that's the year I graduated to the big-boy potty. 182 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,520 It was quite a year for both of us. 183 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,480 So are you still using that college degree? 184 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,160 Because I'm still using the big-boy potty. 185 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,440 You're used to going out with younger women, aren't you? 186 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,960 Well, I don't really think about age as much as I think about personality... 187 00:09:40,119 --> 00:09:45,360 ...and, you know, chemistry and education, family values. 188 00:09:47,519 --> 00:09:49,880 All right, young and dumb, you got me. 189 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,160 I'm not judging you, Charlie. You're a man and you know what you want. 190 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,160 What's wrong with that? 191 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,280 Nothing? 192 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,880 Nothing. 193 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,280 You are fine just the way you are. 194 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,960 - I am? - Of course, you are. 195 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,640 If I called my mother now, would you tell her that? 196 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,200 You don't think she knows? 197 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,639 As far as she's concerned... 198 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,840 ...the last thing I did right was evacuate her uterus. 199 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,840 Oh, you poor thing. That's awful. 200 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,280 It is, isn't it? 201 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,400 Every little boy needs to feel loved and nurtured. 202 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:30,719 Otherwise, he grows up with a hole inside him that he can never fill. 203 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,040 Oh, I have got such a big hole. 204 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,359 If my hole could talk. 205 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,919 You've got a little something right here. 206 00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:44,439 I'll get it. 207 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,519 - There we go. - Thanks. 208 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,600 You know what? 209 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,520 I like you. 210 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,760 Well, I like you too, Charlie. 211 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,080 Try the Yemiser Kik Wat. 212 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,120 Looks kind of yucky. 213 00:11:04,599 --> 00:11:06,640 Well, don't look at it. Just taste it. 214 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,359 Oh, come on, just one bite. For me? 215 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,160 Okay. 216 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,160 Hey, it's good. 217 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,720 I told you. 218 00:11:24,879 --> 00:11:27,759 Oh, excuse me. Could I get another napkin? 219 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,280 So, what do they have for dessert? 220 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,679 Well, Charlie, thank you for a lovely evening. 221 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,599 You're welcome. 222 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,959 Can I kiss you good night? 223 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,000 Do you usually ask permission? 224 00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:52,920 Well, no. 225 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,440 Then why are you asking now? 226 00:11:56,039 --> 00:11:59,000 I don't know. I don't wanna get in trouble. 227 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,239 Okay, I'm in trouble. 228 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,360 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard something. 229 00:12:14,519 --> 00:12:16,080 It's okay. Jeremy, this is Charlie. 230 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,480 - Charlie, this is my son, Jeremy. - Hey, man. 231 00:12:18,639 --> 00:12:20,080 - How are you? - How's it going? 232 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,039 I didn't mean to interrupt. I dropped in to fix your computer. 233 00:12:23,199 --> 00:12:25,519 I'll leave you two alone. Charlie, good meeting you. 234 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,080 Same here. 235 00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:30,680 So that's your son? 236 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,719 - How old is he? - Thirty-two. 237 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,039 They're cute at that age. 238 00:12:55,833 --> 00:12:57,832 - Hey. - What? 239 00:12:57,992 --> 00:13:00,192 You're supposed to be finishing your report. 240 00:13:00,353 --> 00:13:02,553 I know, but I can't find the book. 241 00:13:05,392 --> 00:13:07,592 You're kidding. We just bought it. 242 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:08,873 What can I say, Dad? 243 00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:11,193 It's a big house and a little book. 244 00:13:12,352 --> 00:13:14,792 Find the book. 245 00:13:15,352 --> 00:13:18,712 - I'm really tired. - Find the book. 246 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,232 Just saying it won't make it happen. 247 00:13:24,312 --> 00:13:27,752 Find the book! 248 00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,192 Heads up. He's losing it. 249 00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:34,272 I should have put frosting on the damn book. 250 00:13:34,432 --> 00:13:36,792 He's never lost anything with frosting on it. 251 00:13:37,432 --> 00:13:40,312 I don't know why you continue to bang your head against the wall. 252 00:13:40,472 --> 00:13:44,152 The kid's obviously destined to sell tube socks out of the trunk of his car. 253 00:13:45,753 --> 00:13:48,112 A business of his own. 254 00:13:48,272 --> 00:13:50,392 Gee, that'd be swell. 255 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:56,033 - So how was your date? - Terrific. 256 00:13:56,192 --> 00:13:59,992 - Then why are you home so early? - Well, turns out she has a kid. 257 00:14:00,153 --> 00:14:01,272 Single mom, huh? 258 00:14:02,192 --> 00:14:03,672 Yeah. 259 00:14:04,632 --> 00:14:06,873 That's what she is, single mom. 260 00:14:07,032 --> 00:14:08,793 - How old? - Thirty-two. 261 00:14:08,952 --> 00:14:11,192 - I meant the kid. - So did I. 262 00:14:11,673 --> 00:14:12,633 You're kidding. 263 00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:15,192 If she's got a 32-year-old kid that would make her... 264 00:14:15,352 --> 00:14:17,072 Don't do the math, please. 265 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,073 It all goes south when you do the math. 266 00:14:19,832 --> 00:14:22,633 Come on, so you're dating an older woman. It's no big deal. 267 00:14:22,792 --> 00:14:24,992 That's it? You're not gonna give me a hard time? 268 00:14:25,152 --> 00:14:27,192 Don't be silly. I'm more evolved than that. 269 00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,272 Well, good. 270 00:14:30,312 --> 00:14:33,592 Just a gigolo Everywhere I go 271 00:14:33,753 --> 00:14:37,313 People know the part I'm playing 272 00:14:37,912 --> 00:14:39,592 I guess I'm not. 273 00:14:40,632 --> 00:14:42,393 Look, this is a spectacular woman... 274 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,952 ...and it doesn't matter in the least how old she is. 275 00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:47,832 Please. You can't even tolerate age spots on a banana. 276 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:55,192 Okay, okay, first of all, on a banana, spots are an indication of mushiness. 277 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:59,512 And second, I haven't peeled this woman yet. 278 00:15:06,712 --> 00:15:08,152 In the freezer? 279 00:15:09,152 --> 00:15:12,272 - Jake. - I found it, I'm reading. 280 00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:14,392 It's really cool. 281 00:15:27,112 --> 00:15:30,072 - For God's sake. - Hey, I was reading that. 282 00:15:30,232 --> 00:15:32,552 You're writing a report on The Taming of The Shrew... 283 00:15:32,712 --> 00:15:34,392 ...not the voyages of Cap'n Crunch. 284 00:15:34,712 --> 00:15:37,272 Too bad. I could write the crap out of that. 285 00:15:40,152 --> 00:15:44,432 Okay, I'm not fooling around here. 286 00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:48,272 You're gonna finish this damn book and write the damn report... 287 00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,672 ...you're gonna hand it in Monday, spell-checked... 288 00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:53,432 ...formatted and on freaking time. 289 00:15:54,272 --> 00:15:56,472 I have my doubts, Dad. 290 00:15:58,352 --> 00:16:00,952 - Read. - Fine. 291 00:16:04,152 --> 00:16:05,152 Listen to this. 292 00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,072 "A sleeve? 'Tis like a demi-cannon: 293 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:10,232 What! Up and down, carv'd like an apple-tart?" 294 00:16:10,392 --> 00:16:12,952 All I get from this is "blah, blah, blah, apple tart." 295 00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,632 Have we got any apple tarts? 296 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,112 - Hi. - Hi. 297 00:16:25,472 --> 00:16:26,472 Good. 298 00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:29,272 I was afraid that first kiss might have been a fluke. 299 00:16:29,432 --> 00:16:32,192 Well, I don't know about you, but that was not my first kiss. 300 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,112 Come on in. 301 00:16:34,672 --> 00:16:36,631 Wow, what a beautiful home. 302 00:16:37,512 --> 00:16:39,072 Thank you. 303 00:16:41,112 --> 00:16:42,792 How much of it do you wanna see? 304 00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:47,912 This'll be enough for today. 305 00:16:48,552 --> 00:16:50,232 Understood. Let's hit the road. 306 00:16:50,392 --> 00:16:52,032 Aren't you gonna take a jacket? 307 00:16:52,192 --> 00:16:53,312 I'm okay, don't need one. 308 00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:56,632 - It gets cool in Santa Barbara, Charlie. - I'll be fine. 309 00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:59,952 Please. If you don't need it, you can leave it in the car. 310 00:17:00,832 --> 00:17:02,312 All right. 311 00:17:03,592 --> 00:17:06,352 - Take a look around. - Thanks, I will. 312 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:10,231 Oh, hi, you must be Angie. 313 00:17:10,392 --> 00:17:11,992 I'm Alan, Charlie's brother. 314 00:17:12,151 --> 00:17:14,232 Oh, of course, hi. Oh, what a firm handshake. 315 00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:17,312 Oh, well, no one trusts a chiropractor with limp hands. 316 00:17:17,472 --> 00:17:18,712 Oh, you're a chiropractor? 317 00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:21,592 Hang on. I could have gotten into medical school. 318 00:17:21,751 --> 00:17:24,032 I didn't wanna spend four years in South America. 319 00:17:24,192 --> 00:17:27,552 - No, no, I'm a big fan of chiropractics. - You're kidding. 320 00:17:27,712 --> 00:17:29,912 No, I think you people are miracle workers. 321 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,152 Okay, I'm ready to go. 322 00:17:32,832 --> 00:17:34,872 Did you put on sun block? 323 00:17:35,191 --> 00:17:36,232 I don't need sun block. 324 00:17:36,392 --> 00:17:38,152 Oh, honey, I think you do. 325 00:17:38,312 --> 00:17:41,112 You have beautiful skin. I don't wanna see it get burned. 326 00:17:41,272 --> 00:17:43,192 You're right, thanks. 327 00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:48,952 So anyway, you were saying something about me being a miracle worker? 328 00:17:49,112 --> 00:17:51,472 Oh, God, yes. I threw my back out last year skiing. 329 00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:55,351 - My chiropractor just about saved my life. - That's what we do, you know. 330 00:17:55,512 --> 00:17:58,712 We're not flashy, we don't get, you know, special license plates... 331 00:17:58,872 --> 00:18:00,992 ...so we can park wherever the hell we want. 332 00:18:01,152 --> 00:18:03,272 You know, nobody makes TV shows about us. 333 00:18:03,431 --> 00:18:08,032 Or calls us McDreamy or McSteamy or McMuffin. 334 00:18:09,751 --> 00:18:11,992 We just quietly go about the business of healing. 335 00:18:12,152 --> 00:18:13,832 - I know, I know. - Thank you, thank you. 336 00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:15,911 I only wish more people appreciated us. 337 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,111 You can't worry about what people think. 338 00:18:18,272 --> 00:18:21,432 I know, but the lack of respect really hurts, you know. 339 00:18:21,592 --> 00:18:25,752 Back-cracker, spine-cruncher, quack, charlatan, witch doctor... 340 00:18:25,912 --> 00:18:28,271 - Alan. ...voodoo priest, fraud, failure. 341 00:18:28,432 --> 00:18:30,072 Hey, hey. 342 00:18:30,751 --> 00:18:32,791 Know what we call people who say those things? 343 00:18:32,952 --> 00:18:34,072 My family? 344 00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:36,071 We call them damaged. 345 00:18:36,231 --> 00:18:38,792 They need to hurt others to feel better about themselves. 346 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,392 Exactly, the reason I don't feel better about myself... 347 00:18:41,551 --> 00:18:43,832 ...is I'm not good enough at hurting them back. 348 00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:45,951 Oh, no, you don't wanna do that. 349 00:18:46,312 --> 00:18:48,151 Yeah, I kind of do. 350 00:18:48,512 --> 00:18:52,951 Alan, you need to ignore the negativity and open yourself up... 351 00:18:53,112 --> 00:18:55,392 ...to the nurturing love that's all around you. 352 00:18:55,872 --> 00:18:58,232 - Love is all around me? - Yes. 353 00:18:58,392 --> 00:19:01,272 Is it hiding behind the loathing and rejection? 354 00:19:01,912 --> 00:19:04,952 Honey, I am loving you right now. 355 00:19:05,632 --> 00:19:08,072 - Really? - Yes, really. 356 00:19:09,752 --> 00:19:11,071 Thank you. 357 00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:17,672 You are a wonderful, valuable human being. 358 00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:19,872 I am? 359 00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:21,911 Yes, you are. 360 00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:31,272 I see you're getting to know my brother. 361 00:19:37,369 --> 00:19:38,849 Isn't this beautiful country? 362 00:19:39,489 --> 00:19:41,769 Yeah, it's swell. 363 00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:45,888 Angie, if you like antiquing, I know some great little shops. 364 00:19:46,049 --> 00:19:48,409 - I'm not going antiquing. - Oh, that's okay. 365 00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:51,648 Angie and I will peel off and you can sit in the park and drink. 366 00:19:52,769 --> 00:19:54,729 Are there any game arcades in Santa Barbara? 367 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,929 You won't have time. You have a book to read. 368 00:19:57,089 --> 00:19:58,809 Oh, yeah. 369 00:19:59,209 --> 00:20:01,089 I forgot it. 370 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,609 That's okay. We can stop at a bookstore. 371 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,929 Oh, gee, we don't want to ruin your afternoon. 372 00:20:06,089 --> 00:20:08,248 Hey, we invited you. We want you with us. 373 00:20:08,409 --> 00:20:10,369 - Right, Charlie? - No. 374 00:20:10,529 --> 00:20:12,649 Oh, don't be that way. 375 00:20:13,089 --> 00:20:16,289 I tell you what, after we get Jake's book, we'll stop and get ice cream. 376 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,929 Yes.