1
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,520
- Wake up, wake up, wake up.
- I'm sorry, Mom. I love you.
2
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,080
- What?
- What?
3
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,520
There's something you gotta see.
4
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,440
It has to be better than my dream.
5
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,200
- Wake up, wake up, wake up.
- It's Dad's magazine.
6
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,400
- What?
- What?
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,800
There's something you gotta see.
8
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,600
I was already seeing everything
I needed to see.
9
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,360
What's going on?
10
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,880
Remember how I recorded
those kids' songs months ago?
11
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,520
Yeah, they sucked.
12
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,520
Of course they sucked,
they're kids' songs.
13
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,000
The CD's coming out,
and the first commercial's about to air.
14
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,200
At 5 in the morning?
15
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,200
That's when moms
with little kids are up.
16
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,440
Oh, Becker's over. I'm up next.
17
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,000
Who loves kids?
18
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,480
Charlie Waffles.
19
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,080
Who cut the cheese?
20
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:58,840
Who cut the cheese?
21
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,199
I ask you please
Did you cut the cheese?
22
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,920
That's right. Charlie Waffles.
23
00:01:05,079 --> 00:01:08,080
And now,
you can get his greatest hits on one CD.
24
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,680
- Charlie Waffles?
- My idea.
25
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,000
- Kids love waffles.
- That's true.
26
00:01:14,399 --> 00:01:17,240
Yes, you'll get all the melodies
that made Charlie Waffles...
27
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,800
... the king of kids ' songs.
28
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:24,120
"Kiss My Owie," "Rush to Flush,"
and of course, "Don 't Shake the Baby."
29
00:01:24,279 --> 00:01:27,000
He's a little boy
He is not a toy
30
00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:30,520
Don 't shake, shake, shake the baby
31
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,960
She's our little pearl
Our darling girl
32
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,560
Don 't shake, shake, shake the baby
33
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,999
When did you become
the king of kids' songs?
34
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,640
When did you become
the Federal Trade Commission?
35
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,760
Grandma may smell funny
But hug her anyway
36
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,240
Accept her stinky kisses
And then go out and play
37
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,160
But she's got all the money
So you might just want to stay
38
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,240
Oh, Grandma may smell funny...
39
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,839
But wait, there's more.
40
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,520
With this special TV offer...
41
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,520
... you'll also receive
this never-before-released bonus track.
42
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,040
I drink from a sippy cup
Sippy cup, sippy cup
43
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,599
I drink from a sippy cup
'Cause I'm a big kid now
44
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,680
Bye-bye, boobies
45
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,080
Bye-bye, boobies
46
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,680
Bye-bye, boobies
'Cause I'm a big kid now
47
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,760
Call now and you'll also receive a bonus
Charlie Waffles scratch-and-sniff poster.
48
00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:26,360
It smells just like maple syrup.
49
00:02:26,519 --> 00:02:28,760
What, they couldn't make it
smell like bourbon?
50
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:32,880
Operators are standing by.
Give your child the gift of music.
51
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,879
- Who loves kids?
- Charlie Waffles.
52
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,639
Right.
53
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,160
That's it. What do you think?
54
00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:45,599
I'm going back to bed.
55
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,160
- What about you?
- You couldn't have TiVo'd this?
56
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,720
Hey, Charlie Waffles may love kids,
but he's getting pretty sick of you.
57
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,759
Oh, boy, Dharma and Greg.
58
00:03:28,728 --> 00:03:31,608
I still don't understand why
you wanted to come shopping with me.
59
00:03:31,768 --> 00:03:35,288
- I told you. I gotta pick up something.
- You could have just put it on the list.
60
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:38,168
Hey, maybe I just wanna
hang out with my brother.
61
00:03:38,328 --> 00:03:42,048
- Really? Oh, well, that's a very nice...
- Get away, get away, get away.
62
00:03:44,409 --> 00:03:46,208
Of course.
63
00:03:54,689 --> 00:03:55,728
Excuse me.
64
00:03:55,888 --> 00:03:57,888
Do you know
where the chewable vitamins are?
65
00:03:58,448 --> 00:04:00,568
Oh, I think they're...
66
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,848
Oh, my God, you're him.
67
00:04:03,329 --> 00:04:05,408
- I'm sorry?
- You're Charlie Waffles, right?
68
00:04:06,448 --> 00:04:09,208
- You caught me.
- My daughter just loves your songs.
69
00:04:09,369 --> 00:04:13,048
Oh, gee, you don't know
how that fills my heart.
70
00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:16,208
There's about to be
a vomit spill on Aisle 3.
71
00:04:16,728 --> 00:04:18,608
- How old is your little girl?
- Five.
72
00:04:18,768 --> 00:04:21,608
No way. What, did you have her
when you were 12?
73
00:04:21,768 --> 00:04:23,528
- Oh, you're sweet.
- I know.
74
00:04:23,688 --> 00:04:26,688
Hey, she's not gonna believe I met you.
Can I take a picture of you?
75
00:04:26,848 --> 00:04:29,208
- Better still, let's take one together.
- Oh, okay.
76
00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:31,288
Excuse me, sir.
Would you take our picture?
77
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,448
Sir?
78
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,248
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.
79
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,328
Say "waffles."
80
00:04:42,488 --> 00:04:43,929
- Waffles.
- Waffles.
81
00:04:45,808 --> 00:04:47,808
- Thanks, pal.
- Thank you.
82
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:49,368
Don't let your husband see that.
83
00:04:49,528 --> 00:04:51,768
He might get the wrong idea
about Charlie Waffles.
84
00:04:51,928 --> 00:04:54,648
- Oh, there is no husband.
- No kidding?
85
00:04:54,808 --> 00:04:57,248
Oh, my God.
86
00:04:58,168 --> 00:05:01,168
Jodie is gonna love this.
I'm gonna save it for her birthday.
87
00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:02,488
Her birthday's coming up?
88
00:05:02,648 --> 00:05:05,688
- This weekend, she'll be 6.
- Oh, what a magical age.
89
00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:10,888
Tell you what. How would Jodie like
a free Charlie Waffles birthday concert?
90
00:05:11,568 --> 00:05:12,568
You would do that?
91
00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:14,328
Who loves kids?
92
00:05:14,968 --> 00:05:16,408
Charlie Waffles.
93
00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:19,968
Right. Call me.
94
00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:25,328
Look, it's got a little waffle on it.
How adorable.
95
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:30,009
I told you I had to pick something up.
96
00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:35,848
Grandma may smell funny
But hug her anyway
97
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:39,648
Accept her stinky kisses
And then go out and play
98
00:05:39,928 --> 00:05:43,328
But she's got all the money
So you might just want to stay
99
00:05:43,488 --> 00:05:47,328
Oh, Grandma may smell funny
But hug her anyway
100
00:05:47,688 --> 00:05:50,768
Hug her anyway
So hug her anyway
101
00:05:50,928 --> 00:05:52,928
Sing
Hug her anyway
102
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,128
Pretty catchy, huh?
103
00:05:55,728 --> 00:05:57,728
So is gonorrhea.
104
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,608
Drinking from the well of bitterness,
are we?
105
00:06:01,048 --> 00:06:03,488
I just don't understand
what kind of spiteful god...
106
00:06:03,648 --> 00:06:06,008
...could allow my drunken
whoremonger of a brother...
107
00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:07,968
...to become a children's singing star...
108
00:06:08,128 --> 00:06:10,808
...while I toil away
in poverty-stricken anonymity.
109
00:06:11,208 --> 00:06:14,648
You wanna talk to me about toiling away
in poverty-stricken anonymity?
110
00:06:15,568 --> 00:06:19,288
No. Sorry.
I'm sure you've got it worse than I do.
111
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:22,168
Whoa, whoa, I wouldn't go that far.
112
00:06:23,808 --> 00:06:25,048
What I'm trying to say is...
113
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,608
...there's another way to look at this.
- What's that?
114
00:06:27,768 --> 00:06:29,408
We're all in this together.
115
00:06:29,568 --> 00:06:32,968
Your brother's success is our success.
His home is our home.
116
00:06:33,128 --> 00:06:36,248
And most importantly, when
he's got a load on, his car is my car.
117
00:06:39,728 --> 00:06:41,688
Hey, Berta, guess what.
118
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:45,688
- I got another big royalty check.
- Oh, hey, good for you.
119
00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:49,608
- Why don't you celebrate with a drink?
- Well, I think I will.
120
00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:53,608
- Hey, Alan, guess what.
- Yeah, I heard.
121
00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:55,167
Another big check.
122
00:06:58,128 --> 00:07:00,448
You know what's a great place
to pick up single moms?
123
00:07:00,608 --> 00:07:03,608
- The parking lot of Chuck E. Cheese.
- You didn't.
124
00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:06,488
And not just moms. Nannies, aunts...
125
00:07:06,648 --> 00:07:09,248
...and a couple of very doable grandmas.
126
00:07:11,328 --> 00:07:12,488
Do you have any shame?
127
00:07:13,368 --> 00:07:15,128
No, why?
128
00:07:18,968 --> 00:07:20,407
Hello?
129
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,248
Hang on.
130
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:25,848
Who loves kids?
131
00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:28,168
Oh, hey, Artie.
Just got the check. Thanks.
132
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,808
What's up?
133
00:07:30,768 --> 00:07:33,368
Sure, I'll sign some CDs. Where?
134
00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:36,408
They got bookstores just for kids?
Who knew?
135
00:07:36,808 --> 00:07:38,888
Everyone but you.
136
00:07:39,047 --> 00:07:41,688
Okay, I'll be there. Thanks a lot.
137
00:07:41,848 --> 00:07:43,808
- Hey, Alan, guess what.
- There is no God?
138
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:48,647
Oh, on the contrary,
there is a God, and he love me long time.
139
00:07:53,248 --> 00:07:56,607
Who barfed in the fishbowl?
Who could it be?
140
00:07:57,048 --> 00:08:00,568
Who barfed in the fishbowl?
Oh, wait, it's me
141
00:08:00,727 --> 00:08:04,248
Fish food, fish food
I made some fish food
142
00:08:04,408 --> 00:08:08,248
Fish food, fish food
Mommy, come and see
143
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:17,128
Love, Charlie Waffles.
144
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,328
There you go, Dakota.
145
00:08:18,768 --> 00:08:21,847
- What do we say to Mr. Waffles?
- Thank you, Mr. Waffles.
146
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:24,727
No, thank you, sweetheart.
And thank you, Mommy.
147
00:08:24,888 --> 00:08:27,848
So tell me, is there a Mrs. Waffles?
148
00:08:28,248 --> 00:08:31,688
- Sadly, no.
- Well, maybe this will cheer you up.
149
00:08:33,248 --> 00:08:34,727
Come on, honey.
150
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:37,327
Oh, it do indeed.
151
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:38,968
This guy's a phenomenon.
152
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:42,168
The label's moved 100,000 units
in less than two weeks.
153
00:08:42,328 --> 00:08:45,608
The Wiggles can kiss my pasty,
white tushy.
154
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:47,608
I'm sorry, who are you?
155
00:08:48,248 --> 00:08:51,688
Oh, I'm Artie Pliskin. President
and CEO of Fluffy Bunny Records.
156
00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:54,168
- And you are?
- Alan, Charlie's brother.
157
00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:56,088
Oh, you're the sponge. It's a pleasure.
158
00:08:58,928 --> 00:09:00,087
Same here.
159
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:04,808
- Do you believe in God, Artie?
- I'll tell you what I believe in.
160
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:08,887
Regular prostate exams, full-release
massage and Charlie freaking Waffles.
161
00:09:13,488 --> 00:09:16,608
Okay, kids, Charlie Waffles
needs to take a little potty break...
162
00:09:16,768 --> 00:09:18,568
...but he'll be right back.
163
00:09:18,728 --> 00:09:21,448
In the meantime,
why don't you all sing along?
164
00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:24,448
It's potty time
Can 't hold it
165
00:09:24,888 --> 00:09:26,808
Can 't hold it
Can 't hold it
166
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,688
Here, put this
in the "Mommy and Me" pile.
167
00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:31,927
I'll be right back.
168
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:35,128
This is nothing compared to the concert
he's gonna give next weekend.
169
00:09:35,288 --> 00:09:36,887
- Concert?
- Concert?
170
00:09:37,048 --> 00:09:38,807
Twelve-hundred
screaming kids and moms...
171
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:41,288
...all dying to hear
Charlie Waffles sing in person.
172
00:09:42,128 --> 00:09:43,128
Twelve-hundred?
173
00:09:43,768 --> 00:09:45,207
At 50 bucks a pop.
174
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:50,007
Wait, wait a minute. He's gonna
make $60,000 off one concert?
175
00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:53,047
Yeah. Good time to be a sponge, huh?
176
00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:56,887
I'm not doing any concerts.
177
00:09:57,488 --> 00:10:00,727
- Why not?
- Because I'm not. Case closed.
178
00:10:01,247 --> 00:10:02,608
What's up with him?
179
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:06,767
It would appear he's displeased with the
latest gold nugget to fall out of his ass.
180
00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:07,928
Yeah, well, trust me.
181
00:10:08,368 --> 00:10:12,647
The gold's gonna keep coming,
even if I have to get it myself.
182
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,207
Potty
Potty
183
00:10:21,168 --> 00:10:22,648
So?
184
00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:25,448
Waffle for your thoughts?
185
00:10:25,729 --> 00:10:27,608
- Leave me alone.
- I don't understand.
186
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:31,129
I would think a sold-out concert
would be good news for Charlie Waffles.
187
00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:35,089
- Yeah, well, it's not.
- Because?
188
00:10:35,728 --> 00:10:38,249
You ever wonder
why I never played in a band?
189
00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,449
I just figured you were
getting laid so much...
190
00:10:40,608 --> 00:10:43,049
...being in a rock band
would seem redundant.
191
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:45,089
That's not the reason.
192
00:10:45,249 --> 00:10:47,368
Although I did do better
than most bass players.
193
00:10:47,528 --> 00:10:49,288
Okay, then what is the reason?
194
00:10:50,768 --> 00:10:53,648
- I have stage fright.
- You have stage fright?
195
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:57,488
Severe, debilitating,
wet-your-pants stage fright.
196
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:04,009
I don't understand.
197
00:11:05,728 --> 00:11:06,968
I've seen you perform.
198
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,929
Well, sure, in the living room
for a couple of people.
199
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:14,169
But on a stage with lights,
in front of a crowd paying to see me...
200
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:17,528
Do you literally pee your pants?
201
00:11:18,528 --> 00:11:19,809
What difference does it make?
202
00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:22,488
I'm just saying your audience
is composed of bed wetters.
203
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,768
They might get a kick out of
seeing you soil yourself.
204
00:11:26,288 --> 00:11:28,409
- And you think that'd be funny?
- No, I wouldn't.
205
00:11:28,569 --> 00:11:30,609
But I'm not your audience.
206
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:38,169
Hello?
207
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:41,329
I don't know what to tell you, Artie.
I can't do it.
208
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:44,808
- I don't need a reason why.
- Just tell him the truth.
209
00:11:45,768 --> 00:11:48,968
It's show business, Alan,
you don't tell people the truth.
210
00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:52,648
Look, I'll make the CDs,
I'll shoot the commercials...
211
00:11:52,808 --> 00:11:55,569
...I'll even do the bookstores.
Just no concerts.
212
00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,048
Hey, I don't have to do anything.
213
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:02,248
Oh, yeah?
What are you gonna do, sue me?
214
00:12:03,768 --> 00:12:05,209
Really?
215
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:10,088
- Can he sue me?
- Did you sign a contract?
216
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:12,088
What time is the concert?
217
00:12:13,928 --> 00:12:15,848
Okay, see you Saturday night.
218
00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:18,769
Wait, wait, wait. Eleven a. M?
219
00:12:18,928 --> 00:12:21,848
Who goes to concerts at 11 a. M?
220
00:12:22,488 --> 00:12:24,288
Oh, yeah.
221
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:27,648
Stupid kids.
222
00:12:30,969 --> 00:12:32,408
It's quarter to 1
223
00:12:32,568 --> 00:12:34,768
You want to have a little fun
224
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,049
You brush your teeth
225
00:12:36,848 --> 00:12:38,488
What are you watching?
226
00:12:39,209 --> 00:12:40,569
The master at work.
227
00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:43,128
You wake up in the morning
And it's quarter to 2
228
00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:46,889
You want to find something to do
You brush your teeth
229
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:51,809
Oh, Raffi,
you magnificent son of a bitch.
230
00:12:54,168 --> 00:12:56,808
How do you do it?
How does he do it, Alan?
231
00:12:56,968 --> 00:12:58,288
What's he got that I don't?
232
00:12:58,888 --> 00:13:00,488
Well, based on first impressions...
233
00:13:00,648 --> 00:13:04,088
...I'd say, a genuine love of children,
and bladder control.
234
00:13:05,408 --> 00:13:08,568
- Well, that was just a cheap shot.
- I take them when I get them.
235
00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:13,408
Look at him. All relaxed and smiling.
236
00:13:13,848 --> 00:13:16,168
Last time I was
in front of an audience like that...
237
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:17,768
...seventh-grade talent show...
238
00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:20,808
...I started shaking, sweating,
felt like I wanted to throw up.
239
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:22,888
Don't forget peeing in your pants.
240
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,209
You keep pitching me fat ones.
241
00:13:29,249 --> 00:13:31,248
- I'm not talking to you anymore.
- Oh, come on.
242
00:13:31,408 --> 00:13:34,368
Look, if you knew in the seventh grade
that you couldn't perform...
243
00:13:34,528 --> 00:13:36,208
...why'd you become a musician?
244
00:13:36,368 --> 00:13:39,409
Because there's one thing
I am more afraid of than an audience.
245
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,128
What's that? An honest day's work?
246
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:45,768
If you knew the answer,
why'd you ask the question?
247
00:13:50,408 --> 00:13:52,008
Charlie Waffles. Charlie Waffles.
248
00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:53,488
Where the hell is he, Alan?
249
00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:56,648
I don't know. He said he wanted to
take a walk to calm himself down.
250
00:13:56,808 --> 00:13:59,008
I promise you,
I will crucify that son of a bitch.
251
00:13:59,168 --> 00:14:01,528
The two of you will be
in a box over a heating vent...
252
00:14:01,688 --> 00:14:03,288
...when I get through suing him.
253
00:14:03,848 --> 00:14:06,568
Could it be a box with a guest room?
254
00:14:07,249 --> 00:14:08,248
Hey, Alan.
255
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,888
I figured out what went wrong
in seventh grade.
256
00:14:11,048 --> 00:14:12,088
What?
257
00:14:12,648 --> 00:14:15,048
I hadn't started drinking yet.
258
00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:20,328
- Charlie, you have to get out there.
- Right.
259
00:14:20,488 --> 00:14:22,248
The little bastards await.
260
00:14:25,648 --> 00:14:28,369
You can't sue him
if he just stinks, right?
261
00:14:35,288 --> 00:14:36,808
Who loves kids?
262
00:14:36,968 --> 00:14:39,488
Charlie Waffles.
263
00:14:39,648 --> 00:14:41,408
You're damn right.
264
00:15:07,928 --> 00:15:09,968
That one's not on the CD.
265
00:15:11,848 --> 00:15:13,368
Let's try this again.
266
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:20,608
I drink from a sippy cup
Sippy cup, sippy cup
267
00:15:20,768 --> 00:15:23,448
I drink from a sippy cup
'Cause I'm a big kid now
268
00:15:23,608 --> 00:15:24,608
Come on
269
00:15:24,768 --> 00:15:28,288
I drink from a sippy cup
Sippy cup, sippy cup
270
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:31,808
I drink from a sippy cup
'Cause I'm a big kid now
271
00:15:31,968 --> 00:15:33,848
Bye-bye, boobies
272
00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:35,688
They love him.
273
00:15:35,848 --> 00:15:37,688
How can they love him?
274
00:15:37,848 --> 00:15:40,768
Who cares? We're gonna make a fortune.
275
00:15:40,928 --> 00:15:44,288
- Doesn't it bother you that he's loaded?
- He's a musician.
276
00:15:44,448 --> 00:15:45,728
It'd bother me if he wasn't.
277
00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:49,408
Bye-bye, boobies
278
00:15:49,568 --> 00:15:52,847
Bye-bye, boobies
279
00:15:53,008 --> 00:15:58,928
Bye-bye, boobies
'Cause I'm a big kid now
280
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:05,088
Who loves boobies?
281
00:16:05,248 --> 00:16:08,608
Charlie Waffles.
282
00:16:10,848 --> 00:16:12,768
Right.
283
00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:20,488
I love boobies
I love boobies
284
00:16:20,648 --> 00:16:22,848
I love boobies
'Cause I'm a big kid now
285
00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:24,008
Come on
286
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,208
I love boobies
I love boobies
287
00:16:27,368 --> 00:16:30,528
I love boobies
'Cause I'm a big kid now
288
00:16:34,985 --> 00:16:37,146
- Hi.
- Hey.
289
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:40,945
- What are you doing up so late?
- I couldn't sleep.
290
00:16:42,865 --> 00:16:44,985
- Something bothering you?
- It's nothing.
291
00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:48,825
Oh, come on, I'm your brother.
You can tell me anything.
292
00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:54,305
Well, the truth is,
your life has been going so great lately.
293
00:16:54,465 --> 00:16:56,906
It's been bringing up
a lot of old resentment in me...
294
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:58,345
Who loves kids?
295
00:16:58,505 --> 00:16:59,825
Charlie Waffles.
296
00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:06,226
For the first time anywhere,
if your kids love Charlie Waffles...
297
00:17:06,385 --> 00:17:09,385
... they'll love him even more, live.
298
00:17:09,545 --> 00:17:12,985
When Mom 's a big meanie
And serves you zucchini
299
00:17:13,425 --> 00:17:14,985
What do you do?
300
00:17:15,145 --> 00:17:16,465
What do you do?
301
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,185
Feed it to the dog
302
00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:21,545
Feed it to the dog
303
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,625
That's right.
304
00:17:23,785 --> 00:17:29,625
Charlie's first sold-out concert
can be yours on D VD for only 29.99.
305
00:17:29,785 --> 00:17:33,465
Who barfed in the fishbowl?
Who could it be?
306
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:36,745
Who barfed in the fishbowl?
Oh, wait, it's me
307
00:17:37,145 --> 00:17:40,665
Fish food, fish food
I made some fish food
308
00:17:40,825 --> 00:17:44,425
Fish food, fish food
Mommy, come and see
309
00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:46,265
Plus, if you order now...
310
00:17:46,705 --> 00:17:47,945
You know what's funny, Alan?
311
00:17:48,345 --> 00:17:50,985
I was so hammered,
I have no memory of that concert.
312
00:17:51,665 --> 00:17:54,425
Gee, that is funny.
313
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,825
- Oh, Charlie Waffles.
- Yeah, baby?
314
00:17:57,985 --> 00:17:59,865
Who loves boobies?
315
00:18:00,305 --> 00:18:01,825
Coming.
316
00:18:02,505 --> 00:18:06,265
Excuse me.
Time to butter up the old waffle.
317
00:18:07,025 --> 00:18:09,665
Yeah, well, thanks for the talk.
318
00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:11,105
What talk?
319
00:18:11,265 --> 00:18:13,465
Go, butter.
320
00:18:19,785 --> 00:18:21,465
It's potty time
Can 't hold it
321
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,705
Can 't hold it
Can 't hold it
322
00:18:24,505 --> 00:18:27,305
Potty, potty, potty
323
00:18:27,465 --> 00:18:28,465
Potty
324
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:31,905
- Potty, potty, potty
- Potty
325
00:18:32,065 --> 00:18:34,225
I'm not wearing a diaper
And I'm not in the pool
326
00:18:34,385 --> 00:18:36,865
Get out of the bathroom
Gotta go, fool
327
00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:40,745
- Potty, potty, potty
- Potty
328
00:18:40,905 --> 00:18:42,745
Might be number one
It might be number two
329
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,824
I don 't know yet
And neither do you
330
00:18:45,465 --> 00:18:48,185
Potty, potty, potty
331
00:18:48,345 --> 00:18:49,545
Potty
332
00:18:50,425 --> 00:18:51,865
Potty