1 00:00:06,746 --> 00:00:09,911 Oh! Brain freeze. Brain freeze. 2 00:00:10,285 --> 00:00:12,450 Hang in there, it'll pass. 3 00:00:12,451 --> 00:00:15,823 Going. Going. Going... 4 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:18,486 Okay, okay, I'm good. 5 00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:23,068 Oh! Brain freeze. Brain freeze. 6 00:00:23,443 --> 00:00:28,897 I don't think "brain freeze" is an accurate description here. 7 00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:31,396 Oh, jeez. It's Mom. 8 00:00:32,271 --> 00:00:35,755 - Ah, great. - Who's that she's with? 9 00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:38,558 I don't know. They haven't been dating long. 10 00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:41,805 - How can you tell? - He's still smiling. 11 00:00:41,806 --> 00:00:45,594 - Let's get out of here before she sees us. - How? They're standing in the door. 12 00:00:45,595 --> 00:00:47,759 We'll go out the back. 13 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,316 Hey, look. I'm a rabid dog. 14 00:00:54,257 --> 00:00:56,752 - Ah, damn it. - Plan B? 15 00:00:57,462 --> 00:00:59,335 - Bathroom. - But I don't have to pee. 16 00:00:59,336 --> 00:01:01,832 Go! Go! 17 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,580 Now what? We just wait here till they leave? 18 00:01:06,581 --> 00:01:12,576 Would you rather go out there and chat with Mom and her new boyfriend? 19 00:01:12,577 --> 00:01:15,612 Hey, Evelyn, get me a muffin too. 20 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,241 Whoo! 21 00:01:17,242 --> 00:01:20,786 Somebody was drinking more than coffee. 22 00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,442 Gonna be long? 23 00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:28,939 I don't know. 24 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,966 - All yours. - Thanks. 25 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,826 Thanks. 26 00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:22,905 So listen, when you guys are done screwing around in here... 27 00:02:22,906 --> 00:02:26,630 ...your mother would like to talk to you. 28 00:02:29,902 --> 00:02:32,398 Can I come out now? 29 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:03,286 Hey, look who's here. 30 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,537 It's Mom. Hi, Mom. 31 00:03:04,538 --> 00:03:06,202 Oh, stop it, both of you. 32 00:03:06,203 --> 00:03:09,283 I can't believe I'm such a horrible person, you have to hide from me. 33 00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:14,197 - We weren't hiding. - Which does not invalidate your premise. 34 00:03:14,198 --> 00:03:16,612 Uh, Jake had, uh, stomach problems. 35 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,109 Don't put this on me. 36 00:03:20,152 --> 00:03:22,274 I apologize for my children. 37 00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:24,440 No problem. Teddy Leopold. 38 00:03:24,441 --> 00:03:27,480 Oh, hi. Uh, Alan. This is my brother, Charlie. My son, Jake. 39 00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:28,978 How you doing? 40 00:03:28,979 --> 00:03:34,340 Evelyn's told me a lot of wonderful things about you boys. 41 00:03:34,434 --> 00:03:36,930 Not buying it, huh? 42 00:03:38,015 --> 00:03:39,638 I tried. 43 00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:42,761 Teddy lives in Denver, but he does a lot of business in L.A... 44 00:03:42,762 --> 00:03:45,634 ...so I helped him find a pied-à-terre in Century City. 45 00:03:45,635 --> 00:03:47,300 What's a pied-à-terre? 46 00:03:47,301 --> 00:03:51,672 It's French for a place to play hanky-panky with Grandma. 47 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,254 - Mom! - Mom! 48 00:03:53,255 --> 00:03:56,086 Oh, relax, it's not gonna scar him. 49 00:03:56,087 --> 00:03:58,582 Yeah, but what about us? 50 00:03:59,127 --> 00:04:00,749 Well, it was nice meeting you. 51 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:05,663 - Gotta bring the kid to his mother's. - Again you're putting it on me? 52 00:04:05,664 --> 00:04:07,120 Nice to meet you too. 53 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:08,619 Yeah, bye-bye. See you, Mom. 54 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:11,116 - Bye, Mom. - Bye. 55 00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:12,908 Wait, I have to pee. 56 00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:15,405 You've peed enough. 57 00:04:25,193 --> 00:04:28,065 Teddy Leopold. Do we know a Teddy Leopold? 58 00:04:28,066 --> 00:04:29,605 It's Mom's new boyfriend. 59 00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:32,102 Oh, right, of course. 60 00:04:34,977 --> 00:04:38,641 - Aren't you curious why he's calling? - Not particularly. 61 00:04:38,642 --> 00:04:40,765 What if something happened to Mom? 62 00:04:40,766 --> 00:04:44,720 Then we'll just wait for Dorothy to bring us the broom. 63 00:04:44,721 --> 00:04:47,217 Give me the phone. 64 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,299 Hello? 65 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:54,839 Uh, no, no, this is Alan. Hi, Teddy. What's up? 66 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,504 Uh-huh. 67 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:57,961 Oh- 68 00:04:57,962 --> 00:04:59,335 Wow. Heh. 69 00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:01,376 That is quite an offer. 70 00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:03,458 I- I'd love to. 71 00:05:03,459 --> 00:05:05,290 Hang on, I'll ask him. 72 00:05:05,291 --> 00:05:08,413 - Teddy has invited us- - I'm busy. 73 00:05:08,414 --> 00:05:12,587 - You at least wanna hear what it is? - Nope. 74 00:05:12,786 --> 00:05:15,450 Charlie can't make it, but can you still take me? 75 00:05:15,451 --> 00:05:18,066 Really? Heh-heh. Gee, thanks. 76 00:05:18,199 --> 00:05:21,414 I'll, uh- Guess I'll see you then. 77 00:05:27,985 --> 00:05:30,481 You're gonna be sorry. 78 00:05:31,274 --> 00:05:34,106 You're gonna be homeless. 79 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:37,019 Why do you always have to play that card? 80 00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:41,100 Look, Alan, I have no interest in hanging out with Mom's boyfriend du jour. 81 00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:42,599 Why not? He seems like a great guy. 82 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,306 He might be the greatest guy... 83 00:05:44,307 --> 00:05:47,845 ...but he'll end up like every other husband or boyfriend she's ever had. 84 00:05:47,846 --> 00:05:53,674 Either she'll dump him, he'll dump her, or he'll die under suspicious circumstances. 85 00:05:53,675 --> 00:05:56,256 No matter what, you're left standing on the curb... 86 00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:59,047 ...with your fishing pole on the first day of summer vacation... 87 00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:03,650 ...waiting for a Chrysler LeBaron that never comes. 88 00:06:04,919 --> 00:06:07,749 Okay, this isn't about Teddy, is it? 89 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:11,164 Hey, hey. You wanna be buddies with this guy, go right ahead. 90 00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:12,746 I've got better things to do. 91 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,744 Better than ringside seats to the Heavyweight Championship fight... 92 00:06:15,745 --> 00:06:18,409 ...at Caesars Palace tomorrow night? 93 00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:20,824 What? 94 00:06:20,825 --> 00:06:22,905 Ringside. 95 00:06:22,906 --> 00:06:24,863 - Ringside? - Any closer... 96 00:06:24,864 --> 00:06:28,652 ...and we'd be sitting in the spit bucket. 97 00:06:28,653 --> 00:06:32,400 Should I call him back and tell him you changed your mind? 98 00:06:32,401 --> 00:06:33,649 No, no. No. 99 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:36,522 He's just using us to get closer to Mom. 100 00:06:36,523 --> 00:06:39,104 When we were kids it was Disneyland and cotton candy. 101 00:06:39,105 --> 00:06:40,436 Now it's ringside seats. 102 00:06:40,437 --> 00:06:43,600 - And a private plane. - He's got a private plane? 103 00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:46,891 And a limo and a penthouse suite. 104 00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:49,553 Oh. 105 00:06:49,556 --> 00:06:51,720 - Still not interested? - No. 106 00:06:51,721 --> 00:06:54,385 - Still have better things to do? - Yup. 107 00:06:54,386 --> 00:06:57,300 Ah. Do you realize what a stubborn child you sound like? 108 00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,715 I do. 109 00:06:58,716 --> 00:07:01,797 - You're not gonna give it up, are you? - Not a chance. 110 00:07:01,798 --> 00:07:04,671 Okay, then, good night. 111 00:07:04,921 --> 00:07:07,417 Good night. 112 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,863 Oh, boy, Teddy's here. 113 00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:26,864 Charlie, Teddy's here. 114 00:07:26,865 --> 00:07:29,361 Oh, boy. 115 00:07:30,571 --> 00:07:32,735 Hi, Al, you all packed? 116 00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:34,859 Are you kidding? I packed last night. 117 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,773 I was too excited to sleep. 118 00:07:36,774 --> 00:07:38,356 Terrific. 119 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,021 - Where's Charlie? - Out on the deck. 120 00:07:41,022 --> 00:07:43,312 - Give me a minute, I wanna say hi. - All right. 121 00:07:43,313 --> 00:07:46,184 - Can I go sit in the limo? - Knock yourself out. 122 00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:47,517 There's sushi. 123 00:07:47,518 --> 00:07:50,014 Sushi in a car. Oh, boy. 124 00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:58,260 This is your other plans? 125 00:07:58,261 --> 00:08:03,298 Not all of them. Later I'm gonna go inside and watch some girl-on-girl porn. 126 00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:05,794 Beautiful. 127 00:08:06,172 --> 00:08:10,668 I still have an extra ticket to the fight and there's plenty of room on the plane. 128 00:08:10,669 --> 00:08:12,376 No, thanks. 129 00:08:12,377 --> 00:08:14,624 Did I do something to tick you off? 130 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:18,579 You know, aside from slipping it to your mother. 131 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:22,327 No, no. It's just I'd prefer not to get involved in her personal life. 132 00:08:22,328 --> 00:08:24,575 I'm not asking you to get involved in her life. 133 00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:27,574 I'm asking you to come to Vegas with me and see a fight. 134 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,156 Yeah, but why? 135 00:08:29,157 --> 00:08:32,029 I don't know, you seem like a nice guy. 136 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:35,652 - Don't you have your own friends? - Charlie, when you get to be my age... 137 00:08:35,653 --> 00:08:38,816 ...most of your friends are either married or dead. 138 00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:40,690 What's the difference? 139 00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:43,646 The dead ones smell up my plane. 140 00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:50,349 Come on, throw some clothes on and let's go have some fun. 141 00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:54,098 Ah, what the hell. 142 00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:57,471 Just do me a favor. Let's keep this between us. 143 00:08:57,472 --> 00:09:00,136 I want your mother to think that I went on a business trip. 144 00:09:00,137 --> 00:09:04,999 No problem. My mother still thinks I went to college. 145 00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:07,587 Beautiful. 146 00:09:14,836 --> 00:09:16,958 Hey, Charlie? You need anything? 147 00:09:16,959 --> 00:09:21,711 Teddy, if I was any happier, my pants would be wet. 148 00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:24,577 Hey, Teddy, can we get some gelato after the fight? 149 00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:25,994 Anything you want, kid. 150 00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:28,491 Gee, thanks. 151 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,821 Hiya. 152 00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:38,318 What's up? 153 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,608 Yeah. I've never really been a big fan of the pugilistic arts... 154 00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:47,021 ...but I have to admit, I'm getting kind of swept away in the pageantry of the event. 155 00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:49,518 Uh-huh. 156 00:09:51,394 --> 00:09:53,980 I like your bling very much. 157 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:59,948 I, uh, tried a pierced ear once, but it got horribly infected. 158 00:10:01,554 --> 00:10:05,176 Hey, uh, you know where we could score some good gelato? 159 00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:07,673 No. 160 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:12,337 Word. 161 00:10:13,755 --> 00:10:17,399 I think that might be that Snoopy fella. 162 00:10:17,836 --> 00:10:20,331 Terrific. 163 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:24,913 Hello? 164 00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:27,413 Oh, hi, Evelyn. Yeah. 165 00:10:27,579 --> 00:10:29,493 How are you, sweetheart? 166 00:10:29,494 --> 00:10:31,742 Good, good. 167 00:10:31,743 --> 00:10:34,239 Where am I? 168 00:10:34,866 --> 00:10:37,362 San Francisco. 169 00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:43,442 Uh, I'm going into a meeting, uh, can I call you back? 170 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,349 Love you too, sweetie. Love you. 171 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,314 You're very good. 172 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,562 Yeah. 173 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,103 I've got 5 grand on the big Russian. 174 00:10:54,104 --> 00:10:57,558 Either of you fellas like to have a piece of my action? 175 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,890 - I'll take half. - Attaboy. 176 00:10:59,891 --> 00:11:01,847 How about you, Alan? 177 00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:04,429 Aw, what the heck, I'm in Vegas. Heh-heh. 178 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,886 Put me down for 20- 179 00:11:05,887 --> 00:11:08,383 No, $25. 180 00:11:10,884 --> 00:11:13,380 Make it 20. 181 00:11:18,629 --> 00:11:24,083 One. Two. Three. Four. 182 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:27,872 - Five. Six. - How do you say "get up" in Russian? 183 00:11:27,873 --> 00:11:30,496 Seven. Eight. 184 00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:33,158 Nine. Ten. 185 00:11:35,951 --> 00:11:37,449 Unbelievable. 186 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,780 An 18-second fight. 187 00:11:39,781 --> 00:11:42,976 It takes me longer to start peeing. 188 00:11:43,404 --> 00:11:46,401 Yeah, thanks so much for giving me half your action on the guy. 189 00:11:46,402 --> 00:11:48,650 No problem. You want the other half? 190 00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:51,147 No, I'm good. 191 00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:52,689 Oh, yeah, baby. 192 00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:55,675 Twenty dead presidents. I'm even. 193 00:11:57,311 --> 00:11:59,184 Was he a preemie? 194 00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,559 Actually, we both were. 195 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,915 My mom waits nine months for nothing. 196 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,971 Hey, fellas, I wanna show you something. 197 00:12:07,972 --> 00:12:09,719 What do you think? 198 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,343 - Nice. - Yeah. Who's it for? 199 00:12:12,344 --> 00:12:15,149 - Your mother. - No, seriously. 200 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,964 I know it's kind of old-fashioned, but I wanted to run it by you guys... 201 00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:20,671 ...before I asked her. 202 00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:22,461 Ask her what? 203 00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:24,460 Charlie, I love your mom. 204 00:12:24,461 --> 00:12:25,833 I wanna marry her. 205 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:30,457 But- But you could do so much better. 206 00:12:30,623 --> 00:12:32,704 That's no way to talk about your mother. 207 00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:35,203 That's precisely the way to talk about my mother. 208 00:12:35,204 --> 00:12:36,701 Charlie, be supportive. 209 00:12:36,702 --> 00:12:38,451 I thought I was being supportive. 210 00:12:38,452 --> 00:12:42,906 Regardless of what you guys think about her, Evelyn is a great broad. 211 00:12:42,907 --> 00:12:46,237 I wanna marry her and I would like your blessing. 212 00:12:46,238 --> 00:12:49,776 - You've got my blessing, Teddy. - Shut up and eat your gelato. 213 00:12:49,777 --> 00:12:52,441 Come on, Charlie, wouldn't it be great to have a dad again? 214 00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:53,899 I'm a grown man, Alan. 215 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,480 I don't need a father anymore. 216 00:12:56,481 --> 00:12:58,604 Would any of you gentlemen like a date? 217 00:12:58,605 --> 00:13:00,228 Sorry, doll, I'm taken. 218 00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:03,726 But I wouldn't mind footing the bill for my two boys here. 219 00:13:03,727 --> 00:13:05,349 Hi, I'm Amber. 220 00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,846 I'm Tiffany. 221 00:13:09,472 --> 00:13:12,437 - Thanks, Daddy. - Thanks, Daddy. 222 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,879 - Hey. - Hey. 223 00:13:22,131 --> 00:13:25,169 - What are you doing? - Nothing. Nothing. 224 00:13:25,170 --> 00:13:26,877 How was work? 225 00:13:26,878 --> 00:13:28,834 You don't care about my work. 226 00:13:28,835 --> 00:13:32,799 - What's under the pillow? - Hey, hey, hey. 227 00:13:33,541 --> 00:13:36,037 Modern Bride? 228 00:13:36,704 --> 00:13:40,748 - I just read it for the articles. - Really? 229 00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:45,074 Okay. I was looking for ideas because I thought it would be nice... 230 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:49,737 ...if we had the wedding for Teddy and Mom here in the house. 231 00:13:49,738 --> 00:13:52,234 Oh, my God. 232 00:13:53,652 --> 00:13:56,148 You're a mind reader. 233 00:13:56,858 --> 00:14:00,064 I didn't wanna bring it up, because I was afraid you might say no. 234 00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,395 But I was up all night doing research. 235 00:14:02,396 --> 00:14:06,851 I'm thinking a sunset ceremony with the guests gathered on the beach below... 236 00:14:06,852 --> 00:14:11,264 ...as the bride and groom cross onto the deck wearing Polynesian wedding garb... 237 00:14:11,265 --> 00:14:15,095 ...surrounded by tropical flowers and tiki torches. 238 00:14:15,096 --> 00:14:18,051 Okay, what about it don't you like? 239 00:14:18,052 --> 00:14:21,008 Because I was a little iffy on the tiki torches. 240 00:14:21,009 --> 00:14:24,464 You're a little iffy in so many ways. 241 00:14:24,548 --> 00:14:26,421 Okay, we can hammer out the details later. 242 00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:29,961 The thing to remember is we're doing this for someone we love. 243 00:14:29,962 --> 00:14:32,084 - Teddy. - Teddy. 244 00:14:32,085 --> 00:14:33,624 Okay, I'm out of here. 245 00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:37,164 - Berta, did you hear the news about Mom? - Yeah, she joined the Mormon Church... 246 00:14:37,165 --> 00:14:40,953 ...so she can get a rent-controlled apartment in Salt Lake City. 247 00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,450 Oh, you mean your mom. No. 248 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,491 We're getting a new dad. 249 00:14:46,492 --> 00:14:48,906 - His name is Teddy. - He took us to a boxing match. 250 00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:52,132 He bought us prostitutes and gelato. 251 00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:54,028 Well, congratulations. 252 00:14:54,029 --> 00:14:55,902 I'm real happy for you, boys. 253 00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:57,317 - Thanks. - Thanks. 254 00:14:57,318 --> 00:15:00,607 I think my news was far more interesting. 255 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,064 - I'm gonna call Teddy, tell him our plan. - Oh, great. 256 00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:06,709 Ask him how he feels about tiki torches. 257 00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:11,558 - Hey, Teddy, it's Charlie. - And Alan. Hi, Teddy. 258 00:15:11,559 --> 00:15:13,640 Yeah, Alan says hi. 259 00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:15,639 Listen, we've been thinking about the wedding- 260 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,136 Tiki torches. 261 00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,302 What? 262 00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:22,799 - You're kidding. - What? 263 00:15:23,885 --> 00:15:26,380 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 264 00:15:28,964 --> 00:15:31,004 Wow. I don't believe it. 265 00:15:31,005 --> 00:15:33,461 - What? - Mom turned him down. 266 00:15:33,462 --> 00:15:35,958 Ah! That bitch. 267 00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:41,414 Gee, Teddy, I don't know what to say. I- I feel terrible. 268 00:15:41,415 --> 00:15:44,245 Well, this doesn't mean we couldn't still hang out, right? 269 00:15:44,246 --> 00:15:45,494 So you'll call us? 270 00:15:45,495 --> 00:15:50,199 Great. Great, look forward to it. All right. Bye-bye. 271 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,114 I know that tone of voice. We'll never hear from him. 272 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,946 No tiki torches? 273 00:15:55,947 --> 00:15:58,403 I don't understand. How could Mom say no to him? 274 00:15:58,404 --> 00:16:02,774 - He was perfect for her. - Forget her. He was perfect for us. 275 00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:06,629 I'm closing the door to my heart, Charlie. 276 00:16:06,939 --> 00:16:09,435 It just hurts too much. 277 00:16:09,771 --> 00:16:12,935 Screw it, this isn't over. Come on. 278 00:16:12,936 --> 00:16:14,266 Where are we going? 279 00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:16,723 We are gonna talk some sense into our mother. 280 00:16:16,724 --> 00:16:21,427 Really? It's hard to imagine that turning out well. 281 00:16:23,345 --> 00:16:24,593 Mom? 282 00:16:24,594 --> 00:16:26,093 Mom, where the hell are you? 283 00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:28,299 - Maybe she's not home. - She's home. 284 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,090 Her car's in the driveway, the alarm's not on. Mom! 285 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:38,001 I gave you that key for emergencies, not to barge in on me like the Gestapo. 286 00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:39,875 We wanna talk to you about Teddy. 287 00:16:39,876 --> 00:16:43,331 Teddy? Why in the world would you wanna talk about Teddy? 288 00:16:43,332 --> 00:16:47,204 - Because we love Teddy. - And you broke his heart. 289 00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:53,515 Hang on a second, you met the man for five minutes in a coffee shop. 290 00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:59,571 Well, it was a good five minutes. 291 00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:02,319 Evelyn? Hey, what the hell's going on? 292 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,192 I'll be right with you, sweetie. 293 00:17:04,193 --> 00:17:06,899 Look, this is not the best time. 294 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:12,261 Come on, Evie, the Viagra's starting to make my ears burn. 295 00:17:13,396 --> 00:17:16,017 - Who are these clowns? - Oh, Hugo, darling... 296 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,933 ...these are my sons, Charlie and Alan. 297 00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,223 Wait a minute, you didn't tell me you had any kids. 298 00:17:21,224 --> 00:17:23,264 I sure didn't sign on for any kids. 299 00:17:23,265 --> 00:17:26,344 Just give me a minute, darling. I'll be right with you. 300 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:31,038 If I wanted to see any kids, I'd go visit my own. 301 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,298 How old are these nuts? 302 00:17:33,299 --> 00:17:37,183 From over here, they look about a hundred. 303 00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:40,042 Mom, what about Teddy? 304 00:17:40,378 --> 00:17:44,249 Can we please have this conversation another time? 305 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:46,331 No, no. No, we are having it right now. 306 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:47,872 What do you want me to say? 307 00:17:47,873 --> 00:17:50,371 Teddy's fine, I like Teddy. 308 00:17:50,372 --> 00:17:52,952 But he's ready to settle down and I'm not. 309 00:17:52,953 --> 00:17:54,534 I want my freedom. 310 00:17:54,535 --> 00:17:58,615 Okay, I get freedom, but come on, Teddy's way better than this guy. 311 00:17:58,616 --> 00:18:01,572 As I said, Teddy's fine... 312 00:18:01,739 --> 00:18:08,368 ...but there are some areas in which he just doesn't measure up to Hugo. 313 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,520 - Oh, God! - Oh, Mom! 314 00:18:15,813 --> 00:18:18,818 It's the biggest I've ever seen. 315 00:18:19,311 --> 00:18:22,715 Makes it worth eating dinner at 3:30. 316 00:18:23,641 --> 00:18:26,763 - But- But Teddy- - I don't wanna hear it. 317 00:18:26,764 --> 00:18:28,387 You have no say in this. 318 00:18:28,388 --> 00:18:31,635 This is my life, and right now I don't wanna be tied down. 319 00:18:31,636 --> 00:18:34,132 I want options. 320 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,879 Hugo? 321 00:18:41,671 --> 00:18:44,167 Hugo? 322 00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:49,207 Oh, God, no. Quick, somebody give me the phone. 323 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:51,081 Come on, come on. 324 00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:53,996 - Here, here, here. - Oh, God. 325 00:18:55,954 --> 00:19:00,159 Come on, come on, come on. Hello, Teddy? 326 00:19:03,323 --> 00:19:06,488 Oh, I'm so glad I caught you in. 327 00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:13,358 I hope you can forgive me, Teddy. 328 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,981 I just needed time to think about it. 329 00:19:15,982 --> 00:19:20,603 It's like they say, "You don't know what you've got till it's gone." 330 00:19:20,604 --> 00:19:22,310 Yes. 331 00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:26,142 Yes, my darling, I love you too. 332 00:19:26,308 --> 00:19:28,804 Well, I'll be right over. 333 00:19:28,806 --> 00:19:31,302 Mwah. 334 00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:39,020 Could someone please put a sheet over him? 335 00:19:39,175 --> 00:19:41,089 Mom, shouldn't we call 911? 336 00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:45,263 Well, call whoever you want, the man is dead. 337 00:19:45,588 --> 00:19:48,085 You're really gonna leave and go to Teddy's? 338 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:52,309 Well, I can't very well invite him over here. 339 00:19:53,999 --> 00:19:56,579 All right. She's going back to Teddy. 340 00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,411 Hey, hey, hey, a little respect? 341 00:19:59,412 --> 00:20:01,908 Oh- Oh, yeah. 342 00:20:03,659 --> 00:20:05,989 - Okay. Who's our daddy? - Teddy! 343 00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:08,486 Right.