1 00:00:11,023 --> 00:00:12,525 Hello? 2 00:00:12,526 --> 00:00:15,114 Oh, hey, Julia. I was just on my way over. 3 00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:16,869 Anything I need to bring? 4 00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,834 Thai food? Wine? Batteries? 5 00:00:21,964 --> 00:00:24,688 What do you mean, don't come? 6 00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:31,903 Gee, do you really think your psychiatrist is the best judge of who you sleep with? 7 00:00:31,904 --> 00:00:35,369 Well, sure you could do better. We could both do better. 8 00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:38,877 But in the meantime, I am on my way over. 9 00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:40,882 Okay, okay, need to stop you here. 10 00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:46,590 There is a big difference between "meaningless" and "degrading." 11 00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:50,946 You know what? I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. 12 00:00:50,947 --> 00:00:54,361 Okay, then, you have a nice life too. 13 00:00:56,878 --> 00:01:00,510 Why do these women insist on getting well? 14 00:01:00,511 --> 00:01:02,723 - Hey, Alan- - Hang on, Charlie. 15 00:01:02,724 --> 00:01:04,477 This is an important moment... 16 00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:06,982 ...and I wanna savor it. 17 00:01:07,945 --> 00:01:11,662 Alan J... 18 00:01:11,828 --> 00:01:14,331 ...Harper. 19 00:01:16,255 --> 00:01:18,927 What's the big deal? It's just an alimony check. 20 00:01:18,928 --> 00:01:20,555 Not an alimony check. 21 00:01:20,556 --> 00:01:24,608 This is my final alimony check. 22 00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,365 Isn't it beautiful? 23 00:01:28,366 --> 00:01:31,080 Oh, right, Judith is getting married this weekend. 24 00:01:31,081 --> 00:01:33,544 Exactly. And you know what that means. 25 00:01:33,545 --> 00:01:37,511 You can finally kick in a few bucks around here? 26 00:01:37,512 --> 00:01:40,016 Good one. No. 27 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:43,137 It means Alan gets new underwear. 28 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,785 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pick up my son... 29 00:01:47,786 --> 00:01:51,752 ...and deliver this last drop of blood money to the former Mrs. Alan Harper... 30 00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:58,031 ...and soon to be Mrs. Herb Melnick. May God have mercy on his soul. 31 00:02:00,148 --> 00:02:02,651 Amen. 32 00:02:03,196 --> 00:02:05,701 - So you want some company? - You wanna come with me? 33 00:02:05,702 --> 00:02:07,873 Yeah, why not? I don't have any plans. 34 00:02:07,874 --> 00:02:11,128 You got stood up again, didn't you? 35 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:15,139 I'm starting to think all these girls have the same damn shrink. 36 00:02:15,140 --> 00:02:17,060 If you're gonna come, grab your camera. 37 00:02:17,061 --> 00:02:21,613 You can take some snapshots of Pharaoh Judith letting her Alan go. 38 00:02:21,614 --> 00:02:23,366 Got the camera right here. 39 00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:27,843 - You carry it with you? - Thought I had a date. 40 00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:30,673 Takes video too. 41 00:02:57,846 --> 00:02:59,306 I hand it to you, Charlie. 42 00:02:59,307 --> 00:03:02,105 Stopping at the copy place was a great idea. 43 00:03:02,106 --> 00:03:06,852 And the picture will make a terrific Christmas card. 44 00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:10,332 - Wanna get the door, Herb? - Stop yelling at me! 45 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:13,507 I am not yelling. This is yelling! 46 00:03:13,674 --> 00:03:17,265 You know what? This really isn't that funny. 47 00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:19,520 - Oh, hi, Alan, Charlie. - Herb. 48 00:03:19,521 --> 00:03:21,440 - Hey. - Is this a bad time? 49 00:03:21,441 --> 00:03:25,324 The Spanish Inquisition was a bad time. This is hell. 50 00:03:25,325 --> 00:03:26,911 Come on in. 51 00:03:26,912 --> 00:03:30,378 So, what's going on? A little pre-wedding jitters? 52 00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:33,760 We could call it that, but we'd just be sugarcoating hell. 53 00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:37,227 Oh, don't worry. As soon as Judith puts on that beautiful white gown... 54 00:03:37,228 --> 00:03:39,858 - ...marches down the aisle- - She doesn't want white. 55 00:03:39,859 --> 00:03:41,570 Says it makes her look fat. 56 00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:43,575 Oh, well, that's nice. 57 00:03:43,576 --> 00:03:46,415 She wants to look trim and fit for the honeymoon. 58 00:03:46,416 --> 00:03:48,837 You're sugarcoating hell again, Alan. 59 00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:52,679 You wanna help the guy? Stop talking and smother him with a pillow. 60 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,938 - Oh, great. - Hey, there's the blushing bride. 61 00:03:56,939 --> 00:03:59,583 She doesn't look fat at all. 62 00:04:00,071 --> 00:04:03,412 - Go ahead, give her the check. - What check? 63 00:04:03,413 --> 00:04:07,546 Oh, well, I figured as long as I was here... 64 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:12,954 ...that I would give you your last and final alimony check. 65 00:04:15,148 --> 00:04:17,152 Got it. 66 00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:20,075 - What the hell are you doing? - Just a little souvenir. 67 00:04:20,076 --> 00:04:22,038 I'll go find Jake. 68 00:04:22,039 --> 00:04:24,668 She's being a good sport. Let's get the big check. 69 00:04:24,669 --> 00:04:26,965 No, forget the big check. Forget the big check. 70 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:31,392 So, you know, I read an interesting story the other day. 71 00:04:31,393 --> 00:04:35,360 Married men live, on average, 10 years longer than single men. 72 00:04:35,361 --> 00:04:37,615 What if they don't want to? 73 00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:40,162 Come on, you and Judith were meant for each other. 74 00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:43,462 - What could possibly come between you? - My sister. 75 00:04:43,463 --> 00:04:46,427 - You got a sister? - Down, Charlie. 76 00:04:46,428 --> 00:04:49,684 She came out to help with the wedding, but it's not really helping. 77 00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,230 - What's she look like? - Charlie. 78 00:04:51,231 --> 00:04:54,069 - She doesn't have a therapist, does she? - I swear to God. 79 00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:56,157 So, what do you think? 80 00:04:56,158 --> 00:04:59,122 Should I wear it or have a vet check it for worms? 81 00:04:59,123 --> 00:05:02,256 No, no, it looks fine. 82 00:05:02,422 --> 00:05:05,554 - Myra, this is Judith's first husband Alan. - Hi. 83 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,728 So how does this work? Do you get your original testicles back... 84 00:05:08,729 --> 00:05:11,933 ...or does my brother give you his? 85 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,493 Myra, the castration jokes are getting a little old. 86 00:05:15,494 --> 00:05:17,915 Not at my house. 87 00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:22,719 - This is Alan's brother, Charlie. - Oh, yeah, the booze-riddled sleazebag. 88 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,472 She did not hear that from me. 89 00:05:24,473 --> 00:05:27,396 That's okay. Not like it's a big secret. 90 00:05:27,397 --> 00:05:30,070 Myra, where the hell is Jake? 91 00:05:30,111 --> 00:05:33,493 - How should I know? - I asked you to get him ready for his father. 92 00:05:33,494 --> 00:05:38,045 You also asked me to try on this satin stool sample. 93 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:40,258 Herb, tell your sister it's a lovely dress. 94 00:05:40,259 --> 00:05:45,020 Herb, tell your fiancée the diet pills are affecting her judgment, but not her ass. 95 00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:46,857 That's it. She's gotta go. 96 00:05:46,858 --> 00:05:52,736 - I can't throw out family. - And that's the bitch of it, Herb. 97 00:05:53,665 --> 00:05:57,465 Hey, you know, Charlie and I were thinking of taking Jake out to a movie. 98 00:05:57,466 --> 00:05:58,968 - We were? - We were. 99 00:05:58,969 --> 00:06:02,768 - Myra, would you like to join us? - You didn't say anything about a movie. 100 00:06:02,769 --> 00:06:05,191 I wanted to surprise you. 101 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:08,824 Hey, you know, that's a great idea. Go to a movie with Alan and Charlie. 102 00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:11,708 Can I wear my pretty new dress? 103 00:06:11,831 --> 00:06:14,127 Get her out, Herb. 104 00:06:14,128 --> 00:06:17,543 Hey, look what I found in the bushes. 105 00:06:28,411 --> 00:06:31,335 God, I hate family movies. 106 00:06:31,502 --> 00:06:37,515 What, you don't buy the central premise that a dog can play hockey? 107 00:06:37,516 --> 00:06:40,856 Well, not as a power forward. 108 00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:47,704 Oh, we're flying the friendly skies, are we? 109 00:06:47,705 --> 00:06:50,921 - After you. - Why, thank you. 110 00:06:53,218 --> 00:06:56,601 Ahh. So you're staying at Judith's. 111 00:06:56,768 --> 00:06:58,396 Yep. 112 00:06:58,397 --> 00:07:00,191 What did she say about me? 113 00:07:00,192 --> 00:07:05,620 Well, if she's telling the truth, we really shouldn't be drinking out of the same cup. 114 00:07:05,621 --> 00:07:09,504 That might be the nicest thing she's ever said about me. 115 00:07:09,505 --> 00:07:13,263 I just don't understand what my brother sees in her. 116 00:07:13,264 --> 00:07:18,108 You know, 15 years ago, I asked the exact same question. 117 00:07:18,109 --> 00:07:22,664 Little tip? Don't do it during the wedding toast. 118 00:07:23,245 --> 00:07:25,582 Maybe you can clear something up for me. 119 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:28,297 Herb says you're a successful jingle writer. 120 00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:30,970 But Judith says you are a drunken, talentless hack... 121 00:07:30,971 --> 00:07:34,687 ...who passed out and fell into a pit of money. 122 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:37,652 So, what do you need cleared up? 123 00:07:39,323 --> 00:07:42,037 But, ahem, you have me at a disadvantage. 124 00:07:42,038 --> 00:07:44,167 I don't know why Judith hates you. 125 00:07:44,168 --> 00:07:46,672 Hmm... It's hard to say. 126 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:50,515 Maybe it's because I'm smart. Maybe it's because I'm independent. 127 00:07:50,516 --> 00:07:55,526 Maybe it's because I offered my brother a thousand dollars to call off the wedding. 128 00:07:55,527 --> 00:07:57,865 I did the same thing with my brother. 129 00:07:57,866 --> 00:07:59,535 You did? 130 00:07:59,536 --> 00:08:03,912 Well, actually, it was a thousand-dollar hooker. 131 00:08:05,383 --> 00:08:08,056 But the thought was the same. 132 00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:15,027 So, Myra... 133 00:08:15,071 --> 00:08:16,574 ...what do you do? 134 00:08:16,575 --> 00:08:18,955 I teach high school economics. 135 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:20,584 Huh. 136 00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,923 It may sound like a boring life, but at night... 137 00:08:22,924 --> 00:08:27,560 ...I dress up like a giant spider and fight crime. 138 00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:32,069 Interesting. Now, did you decide spider and have the costume made... 139 00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:36,119 ...or find the costume and say, "Okay, spider"? 140 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,434 Are you mocking the Scarlet Arachnid? 141 00:08:40,213 --> 00:08:42,300 Sorry, sorry. 142 00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:46,476 It's just hard to believe that you're Herb's sister. He's so... 143 00:08:46,477 --> 00:08:48,980 Hapless? 144 00:08:49,025 --> 00:08:52,679 I was gonna say tall, but hapless works. 145 00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:55,370 To hapless Herb. 146 00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:58,544 To the Scarlet Arachnid. 147 00:08:58,922 --> 00:09:00,132 Shh. 148 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,636 My enemies are everywhere. 149 00:09:04,351 --> 00:09:06,815 Let's all go to the lobby 150 00:09:06,816 --> 00:09:09,028 Let's all go to the lobby 151 00:09:09,029 --> 00:09:13,925 Let's all go to the lobby And have ourselves a treat 152 00:09:15,710 --> 00:09:17,463 We're here. 153 00:09:17,464 --> 00:09:21,932 - Oh, yes. Judith's house of pain. - Shh, shh, shh. 154 00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:24,437 Ixnay. That's her idkay. 155 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,569 We're here. 156 00:09:28,114 --> 00:09:30,618 Well, thanks for the movie. 157 00:09:31,246 --> 00:09:36,043 - Wait, wait, wait. I'll walk you. - Why, thank you. 158 00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:38,429 Whoa-oh! 159 00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:40,057 You okay? 160 00:09:40,058 --> 00:09:43,107 I never know till I sober up. 161 00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:48,368 - I think they like each other. - Sure, they like each other. 162 00:09:48,369 --> 00:09:51,291 No, I mean they "like" like each other. 163 00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:55,801 Oh, no, Jake. Your Uncle Charlie only "like" likes a certain type of woman. 164 00:09:55,802 --> 00:09:58,746 - Mom calls them tramps. - Well- 165 00:09:59,644 --> 00:10:02,418 That's as good a word as any. 166 00:10:03,528 --> 00:10:05,490 Thanks. That was fun. 167 00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:07,244 Yeah, it was. 168 00:10:07,245 --> 00:10:08,873 See you around. 169 00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:11,377 Yeah. 170 00:10:13,301 --> 00:10:16,098 I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. 171 00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,602 Who cares? 172 00:10:19,523 --> 00:10:22,857 Looks like Aunt Myra's a tramp, huh? 173 00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:32,719 Oh, come on, Judith, so he gave her a kiss. 174 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,056 It's no big deal. 175 00:10:34,057 --> 00:10:36,436 Yeah, that's how Charlie says goodbye. 176 00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:38,941 Yep, some people shake hands, some people wave. 177 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:42,492 My brother darts his tongue in and out of your mouth. 178 00:10:42,493 --> 00:10:45,206 - What did I miss? - You know Dr. Melnick? 179 00:10:45,207 --> 00:10:46,877 The guy your mom's marrying? 180 00:10:46,878 --> 00:10:49,551 - He has a sister- - Got it. 181 00:10:50,552 --> 00:10:53,266 I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, Judith. 182 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,812 Wait, hang on a second. 183 00:10:54,813 --> 00:10:56,942 - Are you done with your breakfast? - Yeah. 184 00:10:56,943 --> 00:10:58,779 - Then get out. - Fine. 185 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:03,156 - Berta will just tell me later, right? - Right. 186 00:11:05,002 --> 00:11:06,505 Okay, Judith, that's insane. 187 00:11:06,506 --> 00:11:09,345 Charlie would not do Myra just to piss you off. 188 00:11:09,346 --> 00:11:11,391 I don't think. 189 00:11:11,392 --> 00:11:13,354 How would I know what he sees in her? 190 00:11:13,355 --> 00:11:15,858 She got working girl-parts? 191 00:11:17,197 --> 00:11:21,012 You know what, you leave. Send Jake back. 192 00:11:21,624 --> 00:11:25,256 Okay, okay, fine, fine, I'll talk to him. 193 00:11:25,257 --> 00:11:26,885 I don't know. 194 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,056 I'll tell him to keep his hands off Myra. 195 00:11:29,057 --> 00:11:31,270 And then I'll tell the rain not to fall... 196 00:11:31,271 --> 00:11:36,198 ...the Earth not to spin, and you to stop nagging me. 197 00:11:41,419 --> 00:11:44,433 Oh, boy, I'm gonna pay for that. 198 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:47,683 You know what your problem is? Phone cojones. 199 00:11:47,684 --> 00:11:50,105 - Excuse me? - When you're on the phone with her... 200 00:11:50,106 --> 00:11:53,500 ...you got boulders between your legs. 201 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:58,290 The minute you hang up you're as smooth as a Ken doll. 202 00:11:58,291 --> 00:12:00,795 Phone cojones. 203 00:12:00,797 --> 00:12:02,800 Good to have a name for it. 204 00:12:02,801 --> 00:12:04,889 So tell me about the sister. 205 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,144 I don't know. She doesn't seem like his type. 206 00:12:07,145 --> 00:12:10,349 What, no coin slot in her forehead? 207 00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:12,238 - Morning. Morning. 208 00:12:12,239 --> 00:12:14,493 Charlie, we need to talk about Myra. 209 00:12:14,494 --> 00:12:17,625 - Yeah, that was probably a mistake. - It was? 210 00:12:17,626 --> 00:12:20,884 She's a nice kid, but she's just not, you know- 211 00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:24,619 A red-hot simpleton with no self-respect? 212 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,693 I hope she didn't take that kiss thing too seriously. 213 00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:32,494 - So you're not planning on pursuing her? - No, no, no. 214 00:12:32,495 --> 00:12:35,291 In fact, I got a date tonight with a lovely sex addict... 215 00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:38,316 ...whose therapist is on vacation. 216 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:43,727 It's what we eligible bachelors call "a window of opportunity." 217 00:12:43,728 --> 00:12:48,572 You know, there's a special section in hell reserved for people like you. 218 00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:53,082 That's good because I'd hate to have to stand on line. 219 00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:56,757 So I'm like, "Yeah, I can make a lot of money as a lingerie model... 220 00:12:56,758 --> 00:13:00,557 ...but then who's gonna take me seriously as a director? " 221 00:13:00,558 --> 00:13:03,941 - Good point. - Sometimes I wish I wasn't beautiful. 222 00:13:03,942 --> 00:13:06,947 I mean, ugly people have it so easy, you know? 223 00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:09,620 - I've heard. - So, what about you? 224 00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:12,627 - Still writing jingles? - Just during the day. 225 00:13:12,628 --> 00:13:15,884 At night I dress up as a big spider and fight crime. 226 00:13:15,885 --> 00:13:18,223 Huh. You know, I dated a cop once. 227 00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:22,357 Well, it wasn't so much a date as a way to get out of a ticket. Heh. 228 00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:23,987 Interesting. 229 00:13:23,988 --> 00:13:28,496 - Okay, here we are. - Oh, I hope this place has fresh lobster. 230 00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:31,812 That frozen stuff is just disgusting. 231 00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:50,213 You know what, Herb? Forget it, I'll do it myself. 232 00:13:50,214 --> 00:13:51,925 I said I would do it, I'll do it. 233 00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:54,306 Ugh. For God's sake, Judith, get off his back. 234 00:13:54,307 --> 00:13:57,730 - No one's talking to you, Myra. - Okay, everyone calm down. 235 00:13:57,731 --> 00:14:00,235 I'm doing it. 236 00:14:00,362 --> 00:14:02,825 - Oh, hi, Charlie. - Hi, Herb. 237 00:14:02,826 --> 00:14:05,415 Just taking out the trash. 238 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,025 Yeah, I'm coming from doing the same thing. 239 00:14:10,134 --> 00:14:12,096 Great, he leaves the door wide o- 240 00:14:12,097 --> 00:14:14,143 What the hell are you doing here? 241 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,478 That's a good question. 242 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:18,277 - See, the thing is, I- - Oh, hey, Charlie. 243 00:14:18,278 --> 00:14:19,947 Hi, Myra. 244 00:14:19,948 --> 00:14:23,289 No, no. I forbid it. Not in my house. 245 00:14:23,290 --> 00:14:27,088 What brings you to the cul-de-sac of the damned? 246 00:14:27,089 --> 00:14:28,843 Just in the neighborhood. 247 00:14:28,844 --> 00:14:31,347 That's nice. Come on in. 248 00:14:31,475 --> 00:14:33,937 Thanks. 249 00:14:33,938 --> 00:14:36,569 I said no. Doesn't anybody listen to me? 250 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:39,073 I'm doing it, look! 251 00:14:41,874 --> 00:14:45,506 You know, I really didn't expect to see you again. 252 00:14:45,507 --> 00:14:48,972 - Well, I wasn't doing anything, so- - No, Alan, listen to me. 253 00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:51,476 He's here right now. 254 00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,524 Why would I kid about that? 255 00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:58,341 I don't know, maybe his other date didn't work out. 256 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:02,794 Ah. The plot thickens. 257 00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:05,634 Okay, okay, I can explain. 258 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,227 No, I can't. 259 00:15:09,228 --> 00:15:11,731 Give it a shot. 260 00:15:11,775 --> 00:15:13,277 Well... 261 00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:17,579 ...I was with this girl and suddenly realized that I'd rather be with someone... 262 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:21,421 ...who I, you know, actually enjoy being with. 263 00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:23,885 Oh, just forget it, Alan. You're useless. 264 00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:26,389 Herb, do something. 265 00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:28,937 Hey. 266 00:15:29,525 --> 00:15:32,571 I'm going out for ice cream. Anyone wanna join me? 267 00:15:32,572 --> 00:15:37,291 Charlie, when's the last time you had a cone with sprinkles? 268 00:15:37,292 --> 00:15:40,966 You know what, Herb? Judith can relax. I'm gonna check into a hotel. 269 00:15:40,967 --> 00:15:43,472 Myra, no. You don't have to do that. 270 00:15:43,473 --> 00:15:45,226 Yes, she does. 271 00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:48,943 Hey, she's my sister, she can stay as long as she wants. 272 00:15:48,944 --> 00:15:50,989 I really appreciate this. 273 00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,495 - I'll go get my stuff. - Hey, wait, wait, wait. 274 00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:56,334 You don't have to stay at a hotel. I got room at my place. 275 00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:59,133 - Yeah, I'll bet you do. - No, no, no. 276 00:15:59,134 --> 00:16:01,179 No strings attached. 277 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,683 - Really? - Really. 278 00:16:04,855 --> 00:16:07,777 - Still, I couldn't impose like that. - It's no imposition. 279 00:16:07,778 --> 00:16:10,199 It's a big house. There's plenty of room. 280 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,774 - You're sure? - Absolutely. 281 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:16,050 Okay, then, I'll be right back. 282 00:16:16,089 --> 00:16:18,592 JUDITH: Herb! 283 00:16:19,013 --> 00:16:21,516 You wanna come too? 284 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,026 Are you nuts? 285 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,910 With Myra out of the house, I might get lucky tonight. 286 00:16:28,911 --> 00:16:31,373 Really? She seems pretty angry. 287 00:16:31,374 --> 00:16:34,097 It's better when she's angry. 288 00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:37,427 Coming, pookie. 289 00:16:45,073 --> 00:16:47,535 This just sucks. 290 00:16:47,536 --> 00:16:49,665 It's for a couple of days till the wedding. 291 00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:52,129 Yeah, but why does she have to stay in my room? 292 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:55,674 Because- I don't know, you're the kid. 293 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,683 Yeah, well, it's not fair. 294 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,187 Yeah, well, get over it. 295 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,741 Oh, my God! 296 00:17:04,742 --> 00:17:06,328 Jake, that's disgusting. 297 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,832 Yeah, well, get over it. 298 00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:13,342 Go to sleep. 299 00:17:16,812 --> 00:17:18,523 Did you brush your teeth? 300 00:17:18,524 --> 00:17:20,945 Dad, I'm asleep. 301 00:17:20,946 --> 00:17:22,532 Go brush your teeth. 302 00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:26,082 - I can't. I don't have my toothbrush. - Well, go get it. 303 00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:30,217 Man, I have to do everything around here. 304 00:17:39,739 --> 00:17:43,313 Aunt Myra? I have to get my toothbrush. 305 00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:46,961 Aunt Myra? 306 00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:58,321 Aunt Myra? 307 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,752 Huh. 308 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,681 Oh. 309 00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:12,186 Myra. 310 00:18:12,647 --> 00:18:15,151 - Hi. - Hi. 311 00:18:16,991 --> 00:18:21,834 - Is everything okay? - Everything's fine. I just wanted to chat. 312 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,672 Oh, okay. 313 00:18:23,673 --> 00:18:27,514 - I can go if you want. - No, no. This is fine. 314 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,477 So. 315 00:18:29,478 --> 00:18:33,110 - What's up? - We never talked about that kiss last night. 316 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:35,490 Right, right. 317 00:18:35,491 --> 00:18:37,537 That was out of character for me. 318 00:18:37,538 --> 00:18:41,483 Really? That's not the word on the street. 319 00:18:42,299 --> 00:18:44,511 Okay, let me explain. 320 00:18:44,512 --> 00:18:48,312 With me, kissing is usually just a prelude to sex. 321 00:18:48,313 --> 00:18:50,567 Last night, sex was the last thing on my mind. 322 00:18:50,568 --> 00:18:53,908 Oh, gee, what girl doesn't like to hear that? 323 00:18:53,909 --> 00:18:56,412 No, no, let me finish. 324 00:18:57,834 --> 00:19:00,590 I kissed you because I really liked you. 325 00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:03,264 And I wanted to express my... 326 00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:07,731 - ...liking of you. - Be still my beating heart. 327 00:19:07,732 --> 00:19:10,947 Come on, Myra, I drove all the way to Judith's house to see you. 328 00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:12,993 And you know what's at Judith's house? 329 00:19:12,994 --> 00:19:14,956 Judith. 330 00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:20,510 - That was very brave of you. - Oh, no, it wasn't brave, it was- 331 00:19:20,511 --> 00:19:23,893 To tell you the truth, I don't know what it was and I'm not... 332 00:19:23,894 --> 00:19:26,065 ...really sure what to do here. 333 00:19:26,066 --> 00:19:28,569 What do you wanna do here? 334 00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:30,867 Let's forget about me for a second. 335 00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:32,997 - What about you? - What about me? 336 00:19:32,998 --> 00:19:35,753 You kissed first. Why'd you do that? 337 00:19:35,754 --> 00:19:38,257 Oh, I was plowed. 338 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,180 Really? 339 00:19:40,181 --> 00:19:41,684 Oh, come on, you moron. 340 00:19:41,685 --> 00:19:47,352 I'm sitting in the middle of your bed in my sexiest lingerie. 341 00:19:47,406 --> 00:19:52,062 All right. I'm pretty sure I know what to do now. 342 00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:57,301 - Charlie? - Yeah? 343 00:19:57,345 --> 00:20:01,050 I don't wanna put any pressure on you... 344 00:20:01,062 --> 00:20:03,565 ...but I'm a virgin. 345 00:20:05,322 --> 00:20:07,825 You are? 346 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,917 Man, you gotta stop sleeping with dumb girls. 347 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,421 It's rubbing off on you. 348 00:20:17,976 --> 00:20:21,149 Why can't I sleep in my bed? Aunt Myra's not there. 349 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,652 I'm sure she will be. 350 00:20:22,653 --> 00:20:27,479 She's probably just getting something in the kitchen. 351 00:20:33,344 --> 00:20:35,847 That's not the kitchen.