0
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,800
English Subtitles, renamed for "LP" WebDL release :)
Two and a Half Men S03E16 - Ergo, The Booty Call - Web-DL [KoTuWa]

1
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:10,259
- Morning.
- Morning.

2
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:30,613
- What are you making?
- Breakfast.

3
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,407
Have you considered orange juice
and a piece of toast?

4
00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:35,159
It's in there.

5
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:38,621
We got any marshmallows?

6
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:42,166
And he wonders why he gets diarrhea.

7
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,965
Oh, man.

8
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,511
Did you forget to put the lid on again?

9
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,222
Maybe.

10
00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:00,810
- Well, clean it up.
- Okay.

11
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,856
- Is Jake up yet?
- He's in the kitchen.

12
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:09,610
- Has he been looking for me?
- Are you a marshmallow?

13
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,406
- What?
- He hasn't been looking for you.

14
00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:14,907
Oh, good.

15
00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:17,785
Sorry I'm late,
but Kandi and I had morning sex.

16
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,496
- Good for you.
- Twice.

17
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:22,415
Congratulations.

18
00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:25,167
She didn't even wake me up
for the first one.

19
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,336
I almost missed it.

20
00:01:27,503 --> 00:01:31,173
Well, I've always said a 22-year-old girl
is like a good carpenter.

21
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:33,426
No wood gets wasted.

22
00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:40,433
Well, I wouldn't put it so crudely,
but yeah.

23
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,694
- Morning, buddy.
- Morning.

24
00:01:56,073 --> 00:01:57,908
Why do you let him use the blender?

25
00:01:58,075 --> 00:02:01,537
I'm hoping
he'll eventually stumble into a margarita.

26
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,166
Hey, here's a fun fact.

27
00:02:05,332 --> 00:02:09,044
You're sleeping with a girl who was born
when you were in junior high.

28
00:02:09,211 --> 00:02:13,090
And yet there's a good chance
she lost her virginity before you did.

29
00:02:17,094 --> 00:02:18,971
And here's another fun fact.

30
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:22,183
I'll bet she's had sex
with more girls than you too.

31
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:29,690
That is a fun fact.

32
00:02:31,108 --> 00:02:34,945
And you know what else?
Her youth is like an aphrodisiac.

33
00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:39,533
I feel younger, I feel more...
Oh, I don't know how to describe it.

34
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,785
Manly.

35
00:02:41,952 --> 00:02:43,162
I know what you mean.

36
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,581
I'm performing
at what can only be described...

37
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,416
...as a very enhanced level.

38
00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:50,377
- Right.
- You know, between-the-sheets-wise.

39
00:02:50,544 --> 00:02:53,047
- You don't have to tell me.
- Yes, I do.

40
00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:57,134
I have to tell everybody.

41
00:02:57,593 --> 00:02:59,678
I'm just impressed
you can keep up with her.

42
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:02,515
I thought she'd have worn you down
to a few vertebrae...

43
00:03:02,681 --> 00:03:04,183
...in a pool of spinal fluid.

44
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,728
Well, you know, I exercise, I eat right...

45
00:03:07,895 --> 00:03:11,649
And of course, I've always had a vast,
untapped reservoir of sexual energy...

46
00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:13,901
...bubbling under the surface.

47
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:18,197
Truth be told, you could drill anywhere
and hit a gusher.

48
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:20,824
Morning, brother.

49
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:23,035
We're here to tell you
about The Good News.

50
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:24,620
Okay, but my news first.

51
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:28,082
See, I am dating
this 22-year-old woman.

52
00:03:28,749 --> 00:03:30,542
Incredible.

53
00:04:00,030 --> 00:04:02,073
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Rose, what's up?

54
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,743
I was taking a walk on the beach
with my boyfriend...

55
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,745
...and we thought we'd stop by.

56
00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:09,122
Come on up, lamb chop.

57
00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:12,042
This is ridiculous.

58
00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:15,462
I still don't understand
why we can't use the stairs over there.

59
00:04:15,629 --> 00:04:18,465
- Don't try to change me, Gordon.
- I'm sorry.

60
00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:21,218
So how's it going with you two?

61
00:04:21,384 --> 00:04:24,429
It's just great. Gordon's my soul mate.

62
00:04:24,596 --> 00:04:28,183
- He completes me. We're inseparable.
- Yeah.

63
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:30,685
Wait here.
I wanna talk to Charlie alone.

64
00:04:32,312 --> 00:04:34,648
- Charlie.
- Coming.

65
00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:40,111
- Lamb chop?
- I'm hot and juicy.

66
00:04:47,077 --> 00:04:50,455
- What's up?
- Don't play innocent with me.

67
00:04:50,622 --> 00:04:54,417
- I can see the hurt in your eyes.
- What?

68
00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:58,588
- You have to let me go, Charlie.
- Okay.

69
00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:03,510
- I'm with Gordon now. I've moved on.
- Good.

70
00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:06,972
And I know it may be hard for you
to hear this...

71
00:05:07,138 --> 00:05:09,891
...but he satisfies all my needs.

72
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,773
Well, he is hot and juicy.

73
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,528
Oh, Charlie.
I can't bear to see you like this.

74
00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:22,862
Like what?

75
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,865
I know I shouldn't...

76
00:05:26,032 --> 00:05:28,451
...but I'm gonna give you
one last chance.

77
00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,620
One last chance for what?

78
00:05:31,246 --> 00:05:33,832
You're gonna make me say it,
aren't you?

79
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:36,876
Say what?

80
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:41,923
Listen closely. Once I go, I'm gone.

81
00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:45,677
Really?
I've never seen that side of you.

82
00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:49,055
I've never had a man like Gordon.

83
00:05:54,769 --> 00:05:56,062
I believe you.

84
00:05:56,730 --> 00:06:00,191
- So?
- "So," what?

85
00:06:01,151 --> 00:06:05,071
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's Gordon, my boyfriend.

86
00:06:05,947 --> 00:06:07,949
How come he's not allowed in?

87
00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:10,618
I'm trying
to avoid an awkward situation.

88
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:14,247
- Too late.
- You bringing him to my birthday party?

89
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:18,543
What do you think, Charlie?
Is the wound too fresh?

90
00:06:19,627 --> 00:06:22,172
I think I can handle it.

91
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,215
Cool.

92
00:06:25,383 --> 00:06:28,803
- Okay. I'm gonna go now.
- All right.

93
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,597
But before I do...

94
00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:33,308
...I think we need to decide
just where we stand.

95
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:44,527
- You're kidding. Rose has a boyfriend?
- Yep.

96
00:06:44,694 --> 00:06:47,030
A real one,
or, like, Toby the astronaut?

97
00:06:47,822 --> 00:06:49,532
No, this one's real.

98
00:06:49,699 --> 00:06:51,910
- What's he like?
- Nice guy.

99
00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:55,205
He has no idea how close he is
to the Woodchipper.

100
00:06:56,456 --> 00:06:59,876
- Hello? Alan, you home?
- Kandi?

101
00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,377
What are you doing here?

102
00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:04,214
I thought I'd surprise you
with a booty call.

103
00:07:05,507 --> 00:07:09,052
- Lower your voice.
- Booty call.

104
00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:11,471
What's a booty call?

105
00:07:12,764 --> 00:07:14,808
Well, it's...

106
00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:20,396
You know, this is more the kind of thing
a son should learn from his father.

107
00:07:20,563 --> 00:07:22,398
Oh, okay.

108
00:07:23,441 --> 00:07:25,443
Maybe you should ask him now.

109
00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:27,821
All right.

110
00:07:28,863 --> 00:07:30,281
I'm going to hell.

111
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,578
Look, it's a really sweet gesture,
but this is not a great time.

112
00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,247
Hey, Dad, what's a booty call?

113
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,833
Oh, hey. Hey, Jake.
You... You remember Kandi.

114
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,335
- Sure. Hi, Kandi.
- Hi.

115
00:07:42,752 --> 00:07:44,254
So, what's a booty call?

116
00:07:48,341 --> 00:07:52,804
I figured you didn't want me telling him.
Was I wrong?

117
00:07:59,143 --> 00:08:02,397
Well, Jake, it means...

118
00:08:03,648 --> 00:08:08,152
...that Kandi came by
to do her laundry.

119
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,740
I don't see any laundry.

120
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,122
Good point, Charlie.

121
00:08:19,289 --> 00:08:22,333
Always the eye for detail.

122
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,881
Well, you see, Jake...

123
00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:32,302
...in the Old West...

124
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:37,682
...cowboys could be out
on the dusty range...

125
00:08:37,849 --> 00:08:39,517
...for months at a time.

126
00:08:39,684 --> 00:08:43,396
And they'd get mighty dirty.

127
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:46,816
So they'd... They'd mosey into town...

128
00:08:46,983 --> 00:08:49,235
...with nothing
but the clothes on their backs.

129
00:08:49,402 --> 00:08:51,571
And they'd need to wash them.

130
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,489
So, what they'd do is...

131
00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:58,619
...they would go down to the creek...

132
00:09:00,455 --> 00:09:04,792
...and strip down until they were
wearing nothing but their boots.

133
00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:09,547
Why'd they keep their boots on?

134
00:09:15,386 --> 00:09:16,596
Rattlesnakes.

135
00:09:19,807 --> 00:09:24,270
Anyway, in order to warn people
who were swimming...

136
00:09:24,437 --> 00:09:27,815
...that, you know,
the naked cowboy was on his way...

137
00:09:27,982 --> 00:09:32,111
...he would yell, or, if you will, call:

138
00:09:32,653 --> 00:09:34,363
"Booty."

139
00:09:36,949 --> 00:09:38,743
"Booty."

140
00:09:41,162 --> 00:09:42,914
Ergo, the booty call.

141
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:46,375
Alan, you really make history fun.

142
00:09:48,336 --> 00:09:49,378
Well, thank you.

143
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:53,091
So when did it start meaning
"casual sex"?

144
00:09:57,845 --> 00:10:00,598
Why don't you go play a video game
or something?

145
00:10:00,765 --> 00:10:02,642
- Okay.
- Great.

146
00:10:03,059 --> 00:10:05,770
Hey, Kandi, you wanna come
to my birthday party tomorrow?

147
00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:07,980
- Sure. How old are you gonna be?
- Twelve.

148
00:10:08,147 --> 00:10:10,566
Happy bar Mitzvah.

149
00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:14,570
Well, this works out well.

150
00:10:14,737 --> 00:10:18,115
When you're not boinking her,
she's got someone to play with.

151
00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:20,910
Weren't you listening?

152
00:10:21,077 --> 00:10:23,871
Jake just invited Kandi
to his birthday party.

153
00:10:24,038 --> 00:10:26,874
Oh, don't worry.
You've still got the inside track.

154
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,668
No.

155
00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:31,420
- I can't let her come to the party.
- Why not?

156
00:10:31,963 --> 00:10:35,007
Why not?
My ex-wife is gonna be there.

157
00:10:35,174 --> 00:10:38,511
All her miserable, middle-aged
soccer-mom friends are gonna be there.

158
00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:42,265
They're gonna take one look
at Kandi's tight, young little body...

159
00:10:42,431 --> 00:10:47,270
...and they are gonna hate me,
hate me with a white-hot hatred...

160
00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:49,397
...of burning...

161
00:10:49,814 --> 00:10:50,940
...hate.

162
00:10:52,108 --> 00:10:54,360
Yeah, sure,
it'll be a little tense at first...

163
00:10:54,527 --> 00:10:57,113
...but you can lighten the mood
with your booty story.

164
00:10:58,781 --> 00:11:01,075
That's powerful funny, partner.

165
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,035
Shut up.

166
00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:09,417
Alan, there comes a time
in every man's life...

167
00:11:09,584 --> 00:11:11,127
...when he has to make a choice.

168
00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:13,754
Does he wanna be loved
or does he wanna get laid?

169
00:11:13,921 --> 00:11:16,382
Fourteen years ago
you made the wrong choice.

170
00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:21,637
You got married.
And you wound up with neither.

171
00:11:22,722 --> 00:11:26,434
But now, now fate has given you
another chance.

172
00:11:26,601 --> 00:11:29,103
Welcome it. Embrace it.

173
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:32,315
Grab its pert little ass.

174
00:11:32,481 --> 00:11:35,484
What am I supposed to do,
walk into my son's birthday and say:

175
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,946
"Hey, look at this gorgeous 22-year-old
woman I'm having sex with"?

176
00:11:39,113 --> 00:11:42,450
Oh, don't be silly.
You don't wanna rub their faces in it.

177
00:11:42,617 --> 00:11:45,661
You just want them to know
where yours has been.

178
00:11:49,332 --> 00:11:51,876
- Oh, yeah, one more thing.
- Yeah?

179
00:11:52,418 --> 00:11:55,171
Booty. Booty.

180
00:12:04,638 --> 00:12:06,640
Uncle Charlie?

181
00:12:09,643 --> 00:12:12,271
Uncle Charlie, are you awake?

182
00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:14,190
Go away.

183
00:12:14,357 --> 00:12:17,276
Don't you wanna be the first one
to wish me a happy birthday?

184
00:12:17,443 --> 00:12:20,488
- Jake, I swear to God...
- Wait, not yet.

185
00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:25,493
Five, four, three, two, one.
Okay, now.

186
00:12:25,659 --> 00:12:27,703
Get out.

187
00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:31,707
You can give me your present now
if you want to.

188
00:12:31,874 --> 00:12:36,128
If you leave immediately,
I'll give you the gift of life.

189
00:12:36,295 --> 00:12:38,005
All right.

190
00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:42,593
- Hey, how come Dad's not in his room?
- He's out with Kandi.

191
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,554
- When's he coming home?
- Not for a while.

192
00:12:45,971 --> 00:12:48,682
Why doesn't he just
have sex with her here?

193
00:12:50,059 --> 00:12:52,228
What makes you think
he's having sex with her?

194
00:12:52,394 --> 00:12:55,147
I don't know, common sense?

195
00:12:56,982 --> 00:13:01,362
All right. The thing is, he's embarrassed
about having that kind of relationship...

196
00:13:01,529 --> 00:13:03,531
...with somebody
so much younger than him.

197
00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:05,157
Why?

198
00:13:05,324 --> 00:13:08,869
I don't know, maybe he thinks
he's setting a bad example for you.

199
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:12,414
What am I gonna do,
start dating a 6-year-old?

200
00:13:13,082 --> 00:13:16,293
- Go back to sleep.
- I can't. I'm too excited.

201
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,546
Well, you mind if I go back to sleep?

202
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:22,341
- Okay. I'll find something to do.
- Great.

203
00:13:22,508 --> 00:13:26,095
- Maybe I'll try to make a pizza.
- Good for you.

204
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:28,931
Oh, crap.

205
00:13:46,698 --> 00:13:48,367
Pierre?

206
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:50,035
Have you seen Pierre?

207
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:53,622
- Is Pierre a cat?
- Yeah.

208
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:57,584
- Bathroom.
- Thanks. Excuse me.

209
00:13:59,836 --> 00:14:03,882
- Hey.
- Hey. Oh, God.

210
00:14:09,846 --> 00:14:11,932
Still worth it.

211
00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:33,787
Hey, I'm watching that.

212
00:14:34,746 --> 00:14:37,332
Yeah, right.
Happy birthday, you big dope.

213
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:42,379
- Why am I a big dope?
- When did you finally fall asleep?

214
00:14:42,546 --> 00:14:45,632
How could I possibly know that?

215
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:49,845
Now you got a party in a couple hours
and you feel like hell, right?

216
00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:54,099
- Yeah.
- Happy birthday, you big dope.

217
00:14:54,599 --> 00:14:56,726
Hey, am I old enough
to have coffee now?

218
00:14:57,269 --> 00:15:00,188
Do you still think
armpit farts are funny?

219
00:15:00,355 --> 00:15:03,859
- Yeah.
- Then no.

220
00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:06,236
Come on,
I could really use a pick-me-up.

221
00:15:06,403 --> 00:15:10,323
- Okay, how do you want it?
- I don't know, in a cup?

222
00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:17,622
Good choice.

223
00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:29,676
- You feel better?
- Yeah, I think it's working.

224
00:15:33,805 --> 00:15:37,142
You know, Kandi, you don't
have to feel obligated to go to this party.

225
00:15:37,309 --> 00:15:40,395
It's just gonna be a lot of kids
playing silly games.

226
00:15:40,562 --> 00:15:44,190
Are there gonna be balloon animals?
Because I love those.

227
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:47,777
No, Jake's a little old for that.

228
00:15:47,944 --> 00:15:52,407
Balloon animals are
a very under-appreciated art form, Alan.

229
00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:56,745
Just give me a minute to get ready.

230
00:15:57,329 --> 00:15:58,371
Okay.

231
00:15:59,456 --> 00:16:03,835
You know, it's probably gonna be
a very, very dull party.

232
00:16:04,002 --> 00:16:07,464
I wouldn't be going myself
if I weren't related to the kid.

233
00:16:07,631 --> 00:16:11,343
And without balloon animals,
you gotta ask yourself:

234
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:13,428
"Is it really worth the trip?"

235
00:16:13,595 --> 00:16:15,305
How do I look?

236
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:22,187
I'm... I'm sorry,
I think I swallowed my tongue.

237
00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:23,813
Thank you.

238
00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:27,400
It's amazing. My ex-wife
would take hours getting ready...

239
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:30,278
...and the end result
wouldn't be nearly so...

240
00:16:31,071 --> 00:16:32,405
...this.

241
00:16:33,281 --> 00:16:36,451
Maybe I can give her a few tips
at the party.

242
00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:40,872
Oh, gee.

243
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:46,002
- She doesn't respond well to tips.
- Okay. Anything else?

244
00:16:46,169 --> 00:16:48,129
Well...

245
00:16:48,296 --> 00:16:50,799
...even before I say it,
I know it sounds insane...

246
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:53,718
...but do you think
you could put on a few more clothes?

247
00:16:55,178 --> 00:16:59,015
- Don't I look okay?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, you look terrific.

248
00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:02,602
It's just, I wouldn't want people
to get the wrong idea.

249
00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:06,523
- About?
- About...

250
00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:11,111
Maybe if you just put on a jacket
and a hat.

251
00:17:12,112 --> 00:17:14,072
Do you have a poncho?

252
00:17:14,239 --> 00:17:16,699
- Are you ashamed of me?
- No. No, I'm proud of you.

253
00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,743
In fact, I'm so proud that yesterday...

254
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:22,205
...I almost signed up to be
a Christian missionary in the Sudan.

255
00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:24,916
But you don't want
your family and friends to see me.

256
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:26,668
Good, you understand.

257
00:17:26,835 --> 00:17:29,337
You know, Alan,
my friends are judgmental too.

258
00:17:29,504 --> 00:17:31,297
- About what?
- About you.

259
00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:33,341
None of them get why I'm with you.

260
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,927
Well...

261
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:42,308
...at the risk of shining a light
on something better left unexamined...

262
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,019
...why are you with me?

263
00:17:45,186 --> 00:17:48,857
Because you're cute and smart
and really, really grateful.

264
00:17:50,817 --> 00:17:52,360
All true.

265
00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:56,447
And if my friends can't understand that,
well, then tough tomatoes.

266
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:01,744
- Kandi, you're a remarkable girl.
- Thank you.

267
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:05,707
Unfortunately, so am l.

268
00:18:06,708 --> 00:18:09,085
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

269
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:11,171
You wanna have a quickie in the car?

270
00:18:12,088 --> 00:18:17,051
Well, all right.
But this time let's pull over first.

271
00:18:17,594 --> 00:18:18,636
Boring.

272
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:25,101
So where's Alan? He's supposed to be
pitching in at this party.

273
00:18:25,268 --> 00:18:29,022
I don't know, but I'm guessing
that wherever he is, he's pitching.

274
00:18:29,898 --> 00:18:33,401
So I suppose Charlie hasn't told you.
I have a new man in my life.

275
00:18:33,568 --> 00:18:36,571
Oh, good for you, dear.
Does the man know yet?

276
00:18:37,906 --> 00:18:40,241
Hey, get your own, Red.

277
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:46,497
Nice outfit.

278
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:51,586
- Thanks. Rose picked it out for me.
- How about that?

279
00:18:57,926 --> 00:19:00,386
You know,
sometimes when we're having sex...

280
00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:01,971
...she calls out your name.

281
00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:04,933
No kidding?
What about the other times?

282
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:07,268
She makes me call it out.

283
00:19:10,855 --> 00:19:13,650
Boy, that really wasn't a quickie,
was it?

284
00:19:13,816 --> 00:19:15,777
The first one was.

285
00:19:16,819 --> 00:19:20,031
Anyway, so just to reiterate,
today is Jake's day.

286
00:19:20,198 --> 00:19:22,075
- It's not about us.
- I know.

287
00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:23,409
So you can just relax.

288
00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:28,039
And don't feel obligated to, you know,
socialize or talk to anybody.

289
00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:30,667
Don't worry, Alan.
I'm not gonna embarrass you.

290
00:19:30,833 --> 00:19:32,293
Right, I know you won't.

291
00:19:32,794 --> 00:19:36,964
So to summarize what I reiterated,
we're just gonna play it cool, low-key.

292
00:19:37,131 --> 00:19:39,801
Nothing to be gained
by drawing attention to ourselves.

293
00:19:39,967 --> 00:19:41,511
I got it.

294
00:19:42,095 --> 00:19:44,222
Just don't ring the doorbell.

295
00:19:54,732 --> 00:19:56,859
Sorry we're late...

296
00:19:58,528 --> 00:20:02,115
...but I was having sex
with this gorgeous 22-year-old woman.

297
00:20:02,907 --> 00:20:05,159
Wait, wait, wait.

298
00:20:05,952 --> 00:20:08,496
Okay. Come in and say that again.

299
00:20:13,918 --> 00:20:16,421
Jake? You in here?
It's time to do the birthday cake.

300
00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:18,089
Go away.

301
00:20:18,256 --> 00:20:20,508
- Did you find him?
- Yeah, he's in the bathroom.

302
00:20:20,675 --> 00:20:22,802
- Is he okay?
- I don't know.

303
00:20:22,969 --> 00:20:26,097
- Jake, are you okay?
- I'm fine. Go away.

304
00:20:26,264 --> 00:20:30,059
He's probably humiliated because
his father is dating a Camp Fire Girl.

305
00:20:30,226 --> 00:20:32,228
- Give it a rest, Judith.
- What's going on?

306
00:20:32,395 --> 00:20:35,189
- Jake won't come out of the bathroom.
- Come on out, honey.

307
00:20:35,356 --> 00:20:36,691
- I can't.
- Why not?

308
00:20:36,858 --> 00:20:38,401
I just can't.

309
00:20:38,568 --> 00:20:40,653
I was wondering
where everyone snuck off to.

310
00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:44,031
Whatever you're saying about me,
you can say right to my face.

311
00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:45,700
This isn't about you, Mom.

312
00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:49,078
- Wish I could believe that.
- What's the holdup?

313
00:20:49,245 --> 00:20:51,414
- He won't come out of the bathroom.
- He sick?

314
00:20:51,581 --> 00:20:53,541
- Who won't come out?
- Your grandson.

315
00:20:53,708 --> 00:20:55,126
Why? Is he mad at me?

316
00:20:56,252 --> 00:21:00,089
- Jake, what have you had to eat today?
- Just a little coffee and some vitamins.

317
00:21:00,256 --> 00:21:03,593
- Coffee? You let him have coffee?
- No. You let him have coffee?

318
00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:05,761
- He had a sip.
- Well, wait a second.

319
00:21:05,928 --> 00:21:08,598
- Why did you take vitamins?
- I was tired.

320
00:21:08,764 --> 00:21:11,309
Okay, but where did you find vitamins
to take?

321
00:21:11,475 --> 00:21:13,311
In your medicine cabinet.

322
00:21:13,477 --> 00:21:15,813
I don't have any vitamins
in my medicine cabinet.

323
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:19,150
Yeah, you do.
The little blue ones with a V on them.

324
00:21:23,362 --> 00:21:27,283
- What's going on? I don't understand.
- The kid's gonna need another party hat.

325
00:21:56,395 --> 00:21:58,481
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326
00:21:58,648 --> 00:22:00,733
[ENGLISH]