1
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English Subtitles, renamed for "LP" WebDL release :)
Two and a Half Men S03E09 - Madame and Her Special Friend - Web-DL [KoTuWa]

2
00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:08,799
- Jake?
- Yeah?

3
00:00:08,966 --> 00:00:12,595
- Are you praying?
- It's okay. I'm not in school.

4
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,140
No, no, it's fine.
What are you praying for?

5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:17,934
I have a math test on Monday.

6
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,978
Oh, so you're praying
for a good grade?

7
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,272
No, that never works.

8
00:00:23,439 --> 00:00:25,775
I'm praying for the teacher
to get sick.

9
00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,487
Have you considered just studying
for the test?

10
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,948
How would that help?

11
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:34,575
Okay, listen to me.

12
00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:37,870
Even if we were to assume a God
who would be willing...

13
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:40,915
- ...to give your teacher a cold...
- Anthrax.

14
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:45,920
- All right, that's it. No more praying.
- What are you, the Supreme Court?

15
00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:49,090
How do you know
about the Supreme Court?

16
00:00:49,298 --> 00:00:52,259
This guy on TV, Reverend Don.
He talks to God.

17
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,846
He said you should pray
to strike down your teacher?

18
00:00:56,013 --> 00:00:58,224
No, activist judges.

19
00:01:00,309 --> 00:01:02,979
But I figured why can't it work
on Ms. Stanley?

20
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,774
You know what else,
If I send Reverend Don money...

21
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:09,151
...God will make me rich.

22
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,987
And did you send him money?

23
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,822
Wouldn't you?

24
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,324
No. God doesn't make people rich.

25
00:01:15,491 --> 00:01:17,702
And even if he did,
it wouldn't make you happy.

26
00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:19,662
Well, I disagree.

27
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:21,956
Jake.

28
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,167
Reward without effort is meaningless.

29
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:27,920
Money alone will not
give you fulfillment.

30
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,296
What about Uncle Charlie?

31
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:31,632
He seems fulfilled
and he doesn't do anything.

32
00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:34,218
Hey, hey, let me tell you
about your Uncle Charlie.

33
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:39,056
He puts on a happy face,
but on the inside he is a sad, lonely man.

34
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,279
You see?

35
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,810
I'm about to do a load of laundry.

36
00:02:24,977 --> 00:02:27,688
Last chance to change
your underwear.

37
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,482
I'm good.

38
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,318
Hold off on the washing machine.

39
00:02:32,526 --> 00:02:35,571
I think Charlie and his friend
are still in the shower.

40
00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:37,698
I'll check.

41
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,419
You were right.

42
00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,424
I wouldn't wait for me to get that.

43
00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:04,475
- Hello.
- Hello.

44
00:03:08,562 --> 00:03:11,273
We haven't met.
I'm Norma Seabury from next door.

45
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,901
Oh, it's nice to finally meet you.
I'm Alan Harper.

46
00:03:14,109 --> 00:03:17,988
Harper?
Are you related to that dreadful Charlie?

47
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:22,493
My mother says I am, but frankly,
I have my doubts I'm related to her.

48
00:03:24,161 --> 00:03:28,624
Well, Alan, there's a little red sports car
blocking my driveway.

49
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:33,128
I assume it belongs to one
of your brother's whores.

50
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,549
- One of his what?
- Whores.

51
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:45,224
Ever since he moved in here,
it's been one endless parade of whores.

52
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:48,852
Oh, whores.

53
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,854
Well, in all fairness...

54
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,941
...most of them don't have
the math skills to be whores.

55
00:03:54,149 --> 00:03:57,111
Be that as it may,
I'm late for my hair appointment...

56
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,655
...and I want that car moved
immediately.

57
00:03:59,863 --> 00:04:01,240
Absolutely. I am so sorry.

58
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:05,577
Let me track down
the whore in question...

59
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:08,080
...and ask her to move it.

60
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:09,999
Thank you.

61
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:18,173
- God bless you.
- He'd better, I sent in 5 bucks.

62
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:23,303
Charlie, we have a situation.

63
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,266
Okay, that looks pretty clean.
Now do me.

64
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,854
This is so unfair.

65
00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:36,692
Excuse me.

66
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,236
Not now, Alan. I'm making bubbles.

67
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,989
I don't care what her name is.

68
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:45,409
Her car is blocking
our neighbor's driveway.

69
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:47,494
Oh, sorry, I'll move it.

70
00:04:47,703 --> 00:04:49,329
You can't go now, you're busy.

71
00:04:49,997 --> 00:04:51,874
Oh, yeah. I'm busy.

72
00:04:53,208 --> 00:04:56,211
All right, just tell me where the keys are
and I'll move it.

73
00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:59,715
Oh, gosh, no.
I don't let strange men touch my car.

74
00:04:59,923 --> 00:05:03,594
Oh, good, at least you have respect
for your car.

75
00:05:04,219 --> 00:05:08,056
Alan, do we need to have
another boundaries talk?

76
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:10,601
No, I'm leaving.

77
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,271
Look what's dirty again.

78
00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:27,409
Okay, I have located the owner
of the sports car.

79
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,828
Is she going to pull it out?

80
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,418
Not for a while.

81
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,379
Well, how am I supposed to
get to my hair appointment?

82
00:05:39,588 --> 00:05:41,965
Well, gee, I'd say that
you really don't need one.

83
00:05:42,132 --> 00:05:44,843
I mean, I think your hair
looks lovely as it is.

84
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,762
Well, aren't you sweet?

85
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,431
Are you homosexual?

86
00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:51,725
No, just sweet.

87
00:05:51,892 --> 00:05:54,561
You don't have to miss
your appointment. I'll drive you.

88
00:05:55,145 --> 00:05:58,357
- You would do that for me?
- It'd be my pleasure.

89
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,527
Sure you're not homosexual?

90
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,529
Positive.

91
00:06:03,904 --> 00:06:06,156
You would have made a good one.

92
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:14,164
- Going home already?
- No, I'm going to the opera.

93
00:06:14,706 --> 00:06:16,542
They can't end it until I sing.

94
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,086
There's no call for sarcasm.

95
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,303
No.

96
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,937
- What's up?
- What is that old witch doing here?

97
00:06:37,145 --> 00:06:39,356
Old witch? She's...
She's a charming woman.

98
00:06:39,523 --> 00:06:41,358
Of course she's charming.
They all are.

99
00:06:41,525 --> 00:06:44,528
That's how they lure you into
their houses made of gingerbread.

100
00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:46,822
What exactly is the deal between you?

101
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,992
- Why do you hate her?
- Why don't ask her why she hates me.

102
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,121
She told me you're a horrible neighbor
who doesn't care about anyone.

103
00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:57,708
There you go. How can I like somebody
who talks about me like that?

104
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:02,713
Hello, Mr. Harper.

105
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,048
Hey, Norma.

106
00:07:05,757 --> 00:07:07,509
Eat any little kids lately?

107
00:07:08,051 --> 00:07:09,678
I could ask you the same thing.

108
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:12,764
Oh, and by the way...

109
00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:16,184
...will she be moving her car
out of my driveway any time soon?

110
00:07:16,393 --> 00:07:18,562
Maybe people wouldn't park
in your driveway...

111
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:21,398
...if you didn't put your trash
in my guest parking spot.

112
00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:23,608
You don't have a guest parking spot.

113
00:07:23,775 --> 00:07:26,194
There's no such thing
as a guest parking spot.

114
00:07:26,361 --> 00:07:30,907
It's called a curb
and it belongs to the city of Malibu.

115
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:34,286
Hey, if I can pass out on it,
I figure it's mine.

116
00:07:34,494 --> 00:07:36,204
Well, by that logic, l...

117
00:07:36,371 --> 00:07:39,374
I guess you own my doghouse too.

118
00:07:39,916 --> 00:07:42,711
That only happened once
and Bruno was fine with it.

119
00:07:44,546 --> 00:07:46,089
Alan...

120
00:07:46,923 --> 00:07:48,925
...thank you so much
for a wonderful day.

121
00:07:49,968 --> 00:07:51,845
I'm looking forward to next Saturday.

122
00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,764
Oh, me too.

123
00:07:54,264 --> 00:07:56,558
And as for you, Mr. Harper...

124
00:07:56,767 --> 00:08:00,771
...Bruno never had fleas
before that night.

125
00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:07,569
You passed out in her doghouse?

126
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:10,906
Hey, I've passed out in wheelbarrows,
but this isn't about me.

127
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:13,742
- Oh, really? Who is it about?
- You.

128
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:18,789
Why are you dating a woman who
lost her virginity during World War ll?

129
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,750
And knowing her,
probably not to one of our guys.

130
00:08:22,459 --> 00:08:25,796
First of all, we are not dating.
I'm escorting her to a charity event.

131
00:08:25,962 --> 00:08:28,173
Second of all, her age is irrelevant.

132
00:08:28,381 --> 00:08:30,509
The only thing that matters
is what's inside.

133
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:34,971
The only thing inside her is dust
and undigested mastodon meat.

134
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,807
She's isn't that old, Charlie.

135
00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:38,892
Come on,
I bet she was an eyewitness...

136
00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:41,144
- ...to the birth of agriculture.
- Stop it.

137
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:45,106
Her high school graduation picture's
probably on a cave wall in France.

138
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:46,691
Are you done?

139
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,570
Her prom theme was "Fire".

140
00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:56,451
Charlie, I can't figure out
how to turn off the shower.

141
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,120
There's so many knobs.

142
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:03,208
That's okay. Just dry off
and I'll take care of it.

143
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:04,876
Thanks.

144
00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:08,380
How does it feel dating a woman
whose IQ is the same as her age?

145
00:09:09,422 --> 00:09:11,007
I could ask you the same thing.

146
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:15,679
Oh, here's something else
we have in common.

147
00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:17,472
Both our girls are pruney...

148
00:09:17,639 --> 00:09:20,267
...but mine's gonna plump back up
in a little while.

149
00:09:26,982 --> 00:09:29,317
Well, thank you for a lovely evening.

150
00:09:29,526 --> 00:09:32,070
Oh, no, thank you for taking me.

151
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:34,990
I so loathe going to these things
by myself.

152
00:09:35,198 --> 00:09:36,533
And dancing.

153
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,827
I can't remember
the last time I danced.

154
00:09:39,035 --> 00:09:40,203
That was fun.

155
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:41,663
One more spin?

156
00:09:42,497 --> 00:09:43,999
Okay, sure.

157
00:09:52,424 --> 00:09:56,428
Thank you for being so kind
to a lonely old gal.

158
00:09:56,636 --> 00:10:00,015
Stop saying that. You are not old.
You're a vibrant fascinating woman.

159
00:10:00,181 --> 00:10:03,351
- I had a great time with you tonight.
- Likewise.

160
00:10:03,518 --> 00:10:07,355
And I want you to give some serious
thought to my offer.

161
00:10:07,897 --> 00:10:09,024
I will, I will.

162
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,943
Okay, so... So good night.

163
00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:14,154
Good night.

164
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:23,788
All right.

165
00:10:36,259 --> 00:10:38,135
- Morning.
- Morning.

166
00:10:38,302 --> 00:10:39,554
Who sent the flowers?

167
00:10:40,972 --> 00:10:42,056
I'll give you a hint.

168
00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:01,200
- Wait until you see the card.
- You read the card?

169
00:11:01,409 --> 00:11:04,036
I couldn't. It's in Aramaic.

170
00:11:04,954 --> 00:11:06,914
Okay, I get it. She's old.

171
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:09,584
It was delivered by
a Roman centurion.

172
00:11:14,213 --> 00:11:16,299
Oh, jeez, I've got a problem.

173
00:11:16,465 --> 00:11:19,302
If you got her pregnant,
we can get a full page in Ripley's.

174
00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:22,305
Give it a rest, Charlie.

175
00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:25,558
Come on, I've been
working on these all morning.

176
00:11:25,975 --> 00:11:27,435
Listen to this.

177
00:11:27,602 --> 00:11:30,438
Her first car was a chariot.

178
00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:36,068
She called her first husband "Hun"
because he was one.

179
00:11:40,239 --> 00:11:42,992
Her first Christmas
was the first Christmas.

180
00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:48,497
Likes to take long walks
on the beach...

181
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,667
...after crawling out of the ocean
and growing legs.

182
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,129
Her birthstone is lava.

183
00:11:57,256 --> 00:11:59,175
And finally, the big bang...

184
00:12:00,843 --> 00:12:03,846
I don't have a joke for that yet,
but I know there's something.

185
00:12:04,638 --> 00:12:05,681
I'm leaving.

186
00:12:06,349 --> 00:12:08,851
Oh, come on, I'm your brother.
You can talk to me.

187
00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:12,480
Okay, I promise, no more jokes.

188
00:12:12,646 --> 00:12:15,316
- Tell me what the problem is.
- Okay.

189
00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:17,318
Well, you know she's rich, right?

190
00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:19,111
Richer than God...

191
00:12:19,278 --> 00:12:22,656
...who she's known
since he was yay high.

192
00:12:23,657 --> 00:12:25,117
You promised.

193
00:12:25,326 --> 00:12:26,744
Sorry, yeah. Yeah.

194
00:12:26,952 --> 00:12:30,956
Well, last night Norma made me
a business proposition.

195
00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:32,708
I'll bet it involved...

196
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,169
No. No. No.
No telegraphs, no flying machines.

197
00:12:35,336 --> 00:12:37,755
No Niņa, no Pinta,
no Santa Maria.

198
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,383
You don't have to bite my head off.

199
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:43,594
I was talking about what I do
for a living...

200
00:12:43,761 --> 00:12:47,765
...and she said she wanted
to invest in me.

201
00:12:47,973 --> 00:12:49,725
Invest in you? How?

202
00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:51,477
She wants to buy a building...

203
00:12:51,644 --> 00:12:54,188
...and create
the Alan Harper Healing Center.

204
00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:59,026
Chiropractics, acupuncture,
holistic pharmacy, aromatherapy...

205
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:02,154
Why don't you just call it
the Alan Harper House of Crap?

206
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:07,660
Norma chose the name.

207
00:13:08,244 --> 00:13:09,578
I see.

208
00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:13,040
And in exchange for all this,
she expects you to:

209
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:18,420
Well, nothing has been
said explicitly, but...

210
00:13:18,587 --> 00:13:20,214
...yeah.

211
00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:26,470
- And you're considering it?
- No. No, of course not.

212
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:28,764
- Not really.
- Not really?

213
00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:31,267
Well, the building would be
in Beverly Hills...

214
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:33,519
...and it would have
my name on the top.

215
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,730
Big letters but with a real classy font.

216
00:13:36,897 --> 00:13:38,399
I'm thinking Helvetica.

217
00:13:39,733 --> 00:13:42,111
Okay, I see your dilemma.

218
00:13:42,278 --> 00:13:45,823
- We gotta think this through.
- Thanks, thanks. I really need to.

219
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:49,493
You'd do her for free
if she was young and beautiful, right?

220
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,579
Well, sure, l... I suppose.

221
00:13:52,288 --> 00:13:54,290
And you'd stick your dingus
in a beehive...

222
00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:57,042
...for, say, a hundred million,
wouldn't you?

223
00:14:02,923 --> 00:14:06,719
A hundred million dollars? Probably.

224
00:14:08,512 --> 00:14:10,097
But where are we going with this?

225
00:14:10,306 --> 00:14:12,641
We've established
that you're a manwhore...

226
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,269
...now we're just trying to zero in
on your price.

227
00:14:16,353 --> 00:14:18,647
Charlie, you're not helping at all.

228
00:14:18,981 --> 00:14:21,859
Alan, did you really think I would?

229
00:14:29,491 --> 00:14:32,119
- Good to see you again, Ms. Seabury.
- Thank you, Bobby.

230
00:14:32,286 --> 00:14:34,288
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.

231
00:14:35,247 --> 00:14:36,915
Good luck.

232
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,917
Go away, Bobby.

233
00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:42,129
So, Alan...

234
00:14:42,338 --> 00:14:45,507
...have you given any more thought
to my little business proposal?

235
00:14:45,674 --> 00:14:49,094
Well, actually, I have and...

236
00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:51,972
Oh, wait, I forgot.

237
00:14:52,139 --> 00:14:54,016
I brought you a little gifty.

238
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:56,727
Oh, no, Norma, plea...
You've been too kind already...

239
00:14:56,894 --> 00:14:58,687
Oh, my God, a Rolex.

240
00:14:59,355 --> 00:15:01,774
- A platinum Rolex.
- A platinum Rolex.

241
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:04,360
I have always wanted
a platinum Rolex.

242
00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:06,737
I almost bought one for myself,
but silly me...

243
00:15:06,904 --> 00:15:09,156
...I got health insurance
for family instead.

244
00:15:09,365 --> 00:15:11,367
- Let me put it on you.
- Okay.

245
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:15,621
It's... It's a lot heavier
than my calculator Swatch.

246
00:15:17,122 --> 00:15:19,166
I'm glad you like it.

247
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:20,584
Champagne for madame...

248
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:23,670
...and her special friend.

249
00:15:24,546 --> 00:15:26,590
Hey, Bobby, look.

250
00:15:27,049 --> 00:15:28,759
Very nice, sir.

251
00:15:32,304 --> 00:15:34,556
This is too much. I can't accept this.

252
00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:38,185
Oh, I think you can.

253
00:15:38,727 --> 00:15:40,729
Yeah, I probably can.

254
00:15:41,271 --> 00:15:42,981
A toast.

255
00:15:43,148 --> 00:15:45,484
To the Alan Harper Healing Center.

256
00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:48,946
- Okay.
- And to us.

257
00:15:52,074 --> 00:15:54,493
To us as... As business partners
and friends, right?

258
00:15:54,701 --> 00:15:56,036
Wrong.

259
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:04,378
- Alan?
- What?

260
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:06,463
I proposed a toast.

261
00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:08,632
Oh, yes. I'm sorry, it's just...

262
00:16:08,799 --> 00:16:11,885
- ...this is all happening so fast.
- Yes.

263
00:16:12,094 --> 00:16:17,182
Well, the heart wants
what the heart wants.

264
00:16:17,349 --> 00:16:18,934
The question is, Alan...

265
00:16:20,769 --> 00:16:22,896
...what do you want?

266
00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:42,374
Hurry up, sugar buns.
I'm not getting any younger.

267
00:16:58,348 --> 00:16:59,808
Charlie.

268
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,435
Wake up.

269
00:17:01,602 --> 00:17:04,271
What? What's wrong?

270
00:17:04,813 --> 00:17:07,024
I had sex with Norma.

271
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,779
- What?
- I gave in.

272
00:17:12,946 --> 00:17:14,406
I folded.

273
00:17:14,573 --> 00:17:16,742
I let her have her way with me.

274
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,036
How was it?

275
00:17:19,578 --> 00:17:21,246
Actually...

276
00:17:21,413 --> 00:17:23,373
...it was great.

277
00:17:26,084 --> 00:17:27,586
She...

278
00:17:28,337 --> 00:17:29,755
...knew stuff.

279
00:17:32,382 --> 00:17:34,968
- Is that a Rolex?
- Yeah.

280
00:17:35,135 --> 00:17:36,803
Platinum.

281
00:17:38,305 --> 00:17:39,723
Nice.

282
00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:43,477
And you get a building in Beverly Hills.
Not bad for a night's work.

283
00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:48,774
Well, actually, l... I don't think
I'm gonna be getting the building.

284
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:50,984
She reneged?

285
00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:54,112
She died.

286
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:01,244
You're kidding.

287
00:18:01,453 --> 00:18:04,539
After we were done...

288
00:18:04,706 --> 00:18:06,333
...she looked at me...

289
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:10,212
...mumbled a couple of words,
closed her eyes and then:

290
00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:12,839
Dead.

291
00:18:13,882 --> 00:18:17,969
That's it. I knew there was
a big bang joke.

292
00:18:21,723 --> 00:18:24,184
I mean, I'm sorry.

293
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:26,561
I just can't believe it.

294
00:18:26,728 --> 00:18:28,313
Me neither.

295
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,691
After all those years of
making me miserable...

296
00:18:30,857 --> 00:18:32,943
...she's actually gone.

297
00:18:33,235 --> 00:18:35,362
It's weird, l... I feel a little sad.

298
00:18:35,570 --> 00:18:36,780
Imagine how I feel.

299
00:18:36,988 --> 00:18:38,990
Yeah, you killed her.

300
00:18:43,328 --> 00:18:47,124
So, what did she mumble
before she, you know...

301
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,794
Well, I'm not sure,
but I think she said:

302
00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:53,380
"I want my watch back."

303
00:18:56,716 --> 00:18:58,844
Hey, I tried my best
to keep up with her.

304
00:19:01,221 --> 00:19:04,224
I've been up half the night
with the police and the coroners.

305
00:19:04,433 --> 00:19:08,019
You have no idea how judgmental
those people are.

306
00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:11,857
You can't worry about
what anyone else thinks, Alan.

307
00:19:12,023 --> 00:19:15,902
The thing you gotta remember
and keep close to your heart is...

308
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:19,531
...I get an extra parking space
and you get to keep the watch.

309
00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:24,119
Enjoy it, buddy.

310
00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:25,871
But how can I enjoy it?

311
00:19:26,037 --> 00:19:28,748
The same way I enjoy
that grand piano downstairs.

312
00:19:28,915 --> 00:19:31,251
What does your piano have any...

313
00:19:31,418 --> 00:19:32,878
Wait a minute. Are...

314
00:19:33,044 --> 00:19:35,547
Are you saying that...?
That you slept with Norma?

315
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:38,341
Hey, I needed a piano.

316
00:19:44,848 --> 00:19:48,602
So... So if you slept with Norma,
why did she hate you so much?

317
00:19:49,311 --> 00:19:52,480
Probably because
I only needed one piano.

318
00:19:55,734 --> 00:19:57,485
You're right, though.

319
00:19:57,652 --> 00:19:59,946
She did know stuff.

320
00:20:08,747 --> 00:20:12,334
Hey, can you put on channel 84?
I wanna watch Reverend Don.

321
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,669
Well, I wanna watch football.

322
00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:16,421
It's the Lord's day.

323
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:19,633
Yeah, but it's my TV.

324
00:20:20,926 --> 00:20:23,386
- Who'd you bet on?
- Packers minus one and a half.

325
00:20:23,553 --> 00:20:25,931
If the Vikings don't score,
I'm up a grand.

326
00:20:26,097 --> 00:20:27,682
Okay.

327
00:20:29,851 --> 00:20:31,102
What are you doing?

328
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:33,813
Praying for the Vikings to score.

329
00:20:34,147 --> 00:20:35,565
Don't do that. Are you crazy?

330
00:20:35,774 --> 00:20:38,526
- Change the channel to Reverend Don.
- No.

331
00:20:38,735 --> 00:20:40,654
Then you leave me no choice.

332
00:20:41,696 --> 00:20:44,532
Okay, you wanna play that way? Fine.

333
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:49,287
It won't work.
God answers kids' prayers first.

334
00:20:49,496 --> 00:20:52,832
- Who told you that?
- Nobody. It just makes sense.

335
00:20:53,041 --> 00:20:55,543
That last drive put the Vikings
in field goal range.

336
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:57,837
Oh, God, oh, God.

337
00:20:58,004 --> 00:21:00,340
T oo little, too late.

338
00:21:00,507 --> 00:21:03,134
Here comes the Vikings kicking unit
out onto the field.

339
00:21:03,301 --> 00:21:06,096
Pray for my side I'll give you
a piece of my winnings.

340
00:21:06,262 --> 00:21:07,681
- How much?
- Five percent.

341
00:21:07,889 --> 00:21:09,057
No deal.

342
00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:11,685
Edinger has yet to miss
from this distance.

343
00:21:11,893 --> 00:21:13,603
- Okay, 10.
- Twenty.

344
00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:15,939
- Twenty?
- And there's the snap.

345
00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:18,441
- Deal.
- The kick is up.

346
00:21:18,608 --> 00:21:21,444
- It's good.
- Oh, no.

347
00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:26,908
Don't blame me. You' re a sinner.

348
00:21:51,558 --> 00:21:53,643
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

349
00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:55,895
[ENGLISH]