1
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English Subtitles, renamed for "LP" WebDL release :)
Two and a Half Men S03E04 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs - Web-DL [KoTuWa]

2
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One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...

3
00:00:09,725 --> 00:00:12,853
- What are you doing?
- Masticating.

4
00:00:14,104 --> 00:00:15,773
- What?
- Don't worry.

5
00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:19,068
- It doesn't mean what you think.
- What do you think I think?

6
00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:21,195
You know.

7
00:00:21,987 --> 00:00:24,573
Okay, I know what I know.

8
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:26,075
What do you know?

9
00:00:26,242 --> 00:00:30,037
I know you're supposed to masticate
your food 20 times before you swallow.

10
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,540
Yeah, but what about the other thing?

11
00:00:32,706 --> 00:00:34,833
What other thing?

12
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,336
The thing you thought I was thinking.

13
00:00:37,878 --> 00:00:39,964
I'm sorry, Dad. You lost me.

14
00:00:42,383 --> 00:00:45,261
- Morning.
- Oh, morning. Isn't this your day off?

15
00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:48,389
- It is. But I need to talk to Charlie.
- Well, good luck.

16
00:00:48,556 --> 00:00:51,642
He got home, had a bowl of chili,
threw up and went to bed.

17
00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:55,062
He probably threw up
because he didn't masticate enough.

18
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,984
Hey, potty-mouth,
there's a lady present.

19
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,944
Why don't you tell me
what you need...

20
00:01:02,111 --> 00:01:06,448
...then you can go enjoy your day off by
spreading sunshine and cheer to others.

21
00:01:06,615 --> 00:01:08,993
It's about the house.
I should wait for Charlie.

22
00:01:09,159 --> 00:01:11,412
I live here too. What's the problem?

23
00:01:12,538 --> 00:01:13,622
I'll wait.

24
00:01:13,789 --> 00:01:17,042
Oh, for God's sakes, pretend I'm Charlie.
Talk to me.

25
00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:19,420
Okay.

26
00:01:20,170 --> 00:01:21,630
Charlie, I thought it over.

27
00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:24,925
If you want me to kill your brother,
I'll need the cash up front.

28
00:01:28,595 --> 00:01:32,057
- Very amusing.
- Thanks, I've been taking an improv class.

29
00:01:32,224 --> 00:01:34,184
Okay, here's the deal.

30
00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:36,645
I got five brothers and sisters.

31
00:01:36,812 --> 00:01:41,108
I'm the middle child, which probably
explains why I'm such a people pleaser.

32
00:01:43,235 --> 00:01:45,904
Anyhow, my brother Philip,
he's the second oldest.

33
00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:50,617
He's in the roadside fireworks business,
which is, as you might expect, seasonal.

34
00:01:52,161 --> 00:01:56,331
This creates some economic uncertainty,
which has strained his marriage.

35
00:01:56,498 --> 00:02:00,335
Perhaps not as much as him boinking
his wife's half-sister.

36
00:02:00,502 --> 00:02:02,629
But it's a snowball effect.

37
00:02:02,796 --> 00:02:05,049
Anyway, to make a long story short.

38
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:06,717
T oo late.

39
00:02:07,468 --> 00:02:10,971
Fair enough. Berta one, Zippy one.

40
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:16,477
Anyway, Philip can't live at his house
because technically it's a crime scene.

41
00:02:18,187 --> 00:02:22,149
- Which is why I wanted to ask Charlie...
- You want your brother to stay here?

42
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,776
Oh, don't be stupid.

43
00:02:23,942 --> 00:02:25,277
He's staying at my place...

44
00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:28,822
...trying to wean himself off the meth
and the codeine and whatnot.

45
00:02:28,989 --> 00:02:31,909
I wanna stay here for a couple of days.

46
00:02:34,286 --> 00:02:38,665
- That's okay. I'll ask Charlie.
- No, you don't have to ask Charlie.

47
00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:40,459
You can ask me.

48
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:42,377
Fine.

49
00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:45,839
Oh, you'd like an answer now.

50
00:02:46,006 --> 00:02:47,925
That'd be swell.

51
00:02:48,091 --> 00:02:51,887
Well, I would have to say...

52
00:02:52,054 --> 00:02:54,389
...after due consideration...

53
00:02:54,556 --> 00:03:00,062
...and taking into account all the factors
that are involved...

54
00:03:00,229 --> 00:03:05,609
...that it would be our pleasure
to have you.

55
00:03:05,776 --> 00:03:07,861
Super. Do you mind if I take your room?

56
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:11,240
- My room? Gee, l...
- Trust me.

57
00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:14,368
You want me to have a room
with a private crapper.

58
00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:19,331
Okay. By all means.

59
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,835
- Take my room. I'll bunk with Jake.
- Thanks.

60
00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,836
What do you mean
you'll bunk with Jake?

61
00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:28,131
- Is that a problem?
- Yes, I need my privacy.

62
00:03:28,298 --> 00:03:31,260
- For what?
- You know.

63
00:03:53,722 --> 00:03:56,350
Never again.

64
00:03:57,851 --> 00:04:01,063
Never, ever, ever again.

65
00:04:01,563 --> 00:04:02,898
You gonna quit drinking?

66
00:04:03,065 --> 00:04:05,359
Don't be ridiculous.

67
00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,445
I'm gonna quit waking up.

68
00:04:10,322 --> 00:04:12,282
What are you doing?
Is this your day off?

69
00:04:12,449 --> 00:04:16,620
It is, but your brother invited me to be
your house-guest for a couple of days.

70
00:04:20,332 --> 00:04:21,375
Did he, now?

71
00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:24,878
I was gonna ask you, but Alan said
he could speak for both of you.

72
00:04:25,838 --> 00:04:27,506
Did he, now?

73
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,009
- You got a problem with that?
- Don't be silly. You're like family.

74
00:04:31,176 --> 00:04:34,263
Yeah, well,
I've seen how you treat family.

75
00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:37,933
Hey, you're always welcome here.
You don't even have to ask.

76
00:04:39,977 --> 00:04:43,105
- Morning, Alan.
- Hey, look, who finally...

77
00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:47,568
Berta? Living here? Are you insane?

78
00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:50,404
She needed a place to stay.
What would you have said?

79
00:04:50,571 --> 00:04:53,949
I would have explained my sincere belief
that there are boundaries...

80
00:04:54,116 --> 00:04:56,160
...between employer and employee...

81
00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:59,413
...which exist specifically
to protect said employer...

82
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,623
...from accidentally seeing
the employee...

83
00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:04,835
...prancing around
in her big cotton granny-panties.

84
00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:07,546
All right. Go tell her that.

85
00:05:08,881 --> 00:05:10,007
Okay, I was bluffing.

86
00:05:11,592 --> 00:05:14,678
Look, look, it's just for a couple of days.
We can tough it out.

87
00:05:14,845 --> 00:05:16,221
But we wouldn't have to...

88
00:05:16,388 --> 00:05:20,017
...if you hadn't presumed to invite
someone to stay without my permission.

89
00:05:20,184 --> 00:05:21,643
Hey, hey, I live here too.

90
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:23,312
So do termites.

91
00:05:24,688 --> 00:05:27,691
But they don't have
guest-inviting privileges either.

92
00:05:27,858 --> 00:05:31,778
- You're equating me with termites?
- Hell, no. You can get rid of termites.

93
00:05:34,239 --> 00:05:37,284
You know, if I thought you meant that,
I would be really hurt.

94
00:05:37,451 --> 00:05:40,787
Too subtle?
Okay, let me take another tack.

95
00:05:40,954 --> 00:05:44,041
Do you know why I've never
accepted money from you to stay here?

96
00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:46,793
I assumed you were being
compassionate and generous...

97
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,254
...during a difficult period in my life.

98
00:05:52,049 --> 00:05:55,385
It's so you can be here and Jake
can be here, but it remains my house.

99
00:05:55,552 --> 00:05:57,429
- Not our house.
- What's the difference?

100
00:05:57,596 --> 00:06:03,060
In my house, what you think, what you
want, what you say, doesn't mean squat.

101
00:06:04,436 --> 00:06:07,397
It's just jibber-jabber.

102
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:09,942
So you're saying I have no rights here?

103
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,944
I thought that was understood.

104
00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:14,863
I can't believe we're talking about it.

105
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:18,325
I've been living here two years.
You still consider me a house-guest.

106
00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:22,037
No, my houseguests bring a bottle
of wine and have sex with me.

107
00:06:24,164 --> 00:06:27,918
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll go get some
chardonnay and assume the position.

108
00:06:30,671 --> 00:06:34,841
Hey, don't be letting your mouth
write checks your ass can't cash.

109
00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:42,099
Pompous jerk.

110
00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:44,101
I don't know how you put up with that.

111
00:06:45,519 --> 00:06:48,063
You heard? We were whispering.

112
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:51,316
Must be one of them
acoustical anomalies.

113
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,236
I just think it's criminal,
the way Charlie treats you.

114
00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:56,154
Like some kind of second-class citizen.

115
00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,156
Second class?

116
00:06:58,323 --> 00:07:00,158
I aspire to second class.

117
00:07:00,701 --> 00:07:02,703
You know the pecking order
in this house?

118
00:07:02,869 --> 00:07:05,622
Charlie. Women Charlie sleeps with.
Charlie's bookie.

119
00:07:05,789 --> 00:07:10,460
Women Charlie hopes to sleep with.
Termites. Me.

120
00:07:11,503 --> 00:07:13,005
Well, that's just not right.

121
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:16,633
What am I supposed to do?
I can't really afford my own place.

122
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,511
I could, but it certainly
wouldn't be on the beach.

123
00:07:19,678 --> 00:07:22,681
Unless the beach was Guadalcanal.

124
00:07:22,848 --> 00:07:27,019
It's a shame. You paying all that money
for an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house...

125
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,354
...and you're not
allowed inside either one.

126
00:07:29,521 --> 00:07:31,523
Exactly.

127
00:07:35,652 --> 00:07:36,778
I'm a victim here.

128
00:07:36,945 --> 00:07:38,864
Yeah. You got victim
written all over you.

129
00:07:40,407 --> 00:07:41,908
Does my brother sympathize?

130
00:07:42,075 --> 00:07:44,202
Do Catholic priests
make good babysitters?

131
00:07:47,706 --> 00:07:51,334
Listen. You want rights and privileges,
you gotta demand them.

132
00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:53,378
Stand up to Charlie. Get in his face.

133
00:07:54,004 --> 00:07:55,756
You know what? You're right.

134
00:07:55,922 --> 00:07:59,217
- And starting now.
- Go get him, tiger.

135
00:08:00,469 --> 00:08:03,805
Come here, Charlie. I wanna...

136
00:08:12,847 --> 00:08:15,600
Oh, that is so wrong.

137
00:08:18,812 --> 00:08:20,563
- Hey.
- Hey.

138
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,650
You know, Charlie,
you've really got a beautiful view here.

139
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,276
You're just noticing that?

140
00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:28,071
Well, I spend most of my days
looking at dirty toilets...

141
00:08:28,238 --> 00:08:30,740
...and those Rorschach tests
you call bed sheets.

142
00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:34,953
It's nice you get a chance
to stop and smell the roses.

143
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,956
Oh, don't get me started
on the smells around here.

144
00:08:38,123 --> 00:08:41,793
Hey, listen, Berta,
you know how I feel about you, right?

145
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,586
No, tell me.

146
00:08:44,504 --> 00:08:46,965
Oh, gee, I could never put it into words.

147
00:08:47,132 --> 00:08:48,758
Well...

148
00:08:48,925 --> 00:08:50,885
...then show me.

149
00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:55,265
Relax, I'm just screwing with you.

150
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:58,852
Good one.

151
00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:01,062
Anyway.

152
00:09:02,814 --> 00:09:07,193
I believe there are certain boundaries
between an employer and an employee.

153
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,071
I think it'd be best if you found...

154
00:09:10,238 --> 00:09:13,199
Oh, I agree with you
about the boundaries.

155
00:09:13,366 --> 00:09:17,495
I've been keeping quiet about the things
your brother says behind your back.

156
00:09:17,662 --> 00:09:20,248
- What does he say?
- I don't wanna cause problems.

157
00:09:20,415 --> 00:09:22,459
No, no, no, come on, tell me.

158
00:09:23,209 --> 00:09:26,921
Let's just say that he doesn't always
appreciate everything you do for him.

159
00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:29,340
You know what the problem is?

160
00:09:29,507 --> 00:09:31,801
- I'm a soft touch.
- You do have a big heart.

161
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:36,055
And there are always people out there
who will take advantage of that.

162
00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:40,018
- You wouldn't think it'd be your brother.
- Yeah, that's the saddest part.

163
00:09:41,644 --> 00:09:43,354
But what can I do about it?

164
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:46,232
Respect's not freely given in this life,
Charlie.

165
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:47,901
You gotta demand it.

166
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:51,821
- It's time for me to stand up for myself.
- Good for you.

167
00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:54,741
And while you're up...

168
00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:58,912
...would you get me one of those
Japanese beers in the refrigerator?

169
00:09:59,078 --> 00:10:02,040
- Oh, sure. Be right back.
- Thanks.

170
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:07,253
I'm a bad pussycat.

171
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,719
Did you know
your body doesn't digest corn?

172
00:10:14,886 --> 00:10:17,513
It goes out the same way it comes in.

173
00:10:19,057 --> 00:10:21,726
It's like a little bookmark in your poop.

174
00:10:24,395 --> 00:10:26,314
Did they teach you that at school?

175
00:10:26,481 --> 00:10:29,317
Nope. It's the powers of observation.

176
00:10:29,484 --> 00:10:31,569
Jake, that's not dinner conversation.

177
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:33,863
You're right. It's dinner corn-versation.

178
00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:37,200
See what happens
when you don't hit your kids?

179
00:10:37,825 --> 00:10:40,703
- Hey, something smells good.
- Meatloaf.

180
00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:43,539
- Great, I love meatloaf.
- Well, you should make some.

181
00:10:43,706 --> 00:10:45,541
I'll give you the recipe.

182
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,627
You didn't make enough for me?

183
00:10:50,588 --> 00:10:51,631
I'm not your chef.

184
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,762
Is that so?

185
00:11:01,099 --> 00:11:02,934
How did you cook the meatloaf?

186
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,268
In the oven.

187
00:11:04,811 --> 00:11:05,937
My oven.

188
00:11:06,104 --> 00:11:07,981
- What's your point?
- My point?

189
00:11:11,609 --> 00:11:13,987
Oh, don't put me in the middle.
I love you both.

190
00:11:16,781 --> 00:11:19,409
My point is, I'm hungry
and I want meatloaf.

191
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:21,869
Yeah, well,
I'm Alan and I want respect.

192
00:11:22,036 --> 00:11:24,455
I think I got a better chance
at getting meatloaf.

193
00:11:24,622 --> 00:11:28,376
I'm starting to feel like maybe Jake
and I have overstayed our welcome.

194
00:11:28,543 --> 00:11:31,754
Not at all. Jake's still welcome.
You're the one with the attitude.

195
00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:34,924
My attitude? I thought my attitude
didn't count for anything.

196
00:11:35,091 --> 00:11:37,218
That it was just jabberwocky.

197
00:11:37,385 --> 00:11:39,679
Jibber-jabber, you moron.

198
00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:42,515
Okay, okay, that settles it.
I think it's time we moved.

199
00:11:42,682 --> 00:11:44,517
- We?
- Yeah, we.

200
00:11:44,684 --> 00:11:46,644
But I'm still welcome.

201
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:50,106
- You'll go where I go.
- Can we get a place on the beach?

202
00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:53,067
Sure, if you don't mind
living under a lifeguard stand.

203
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:57,029
We managed to get by without your help
before we came here, we'll do it again.

204
00:11:57,196 --> 00:11:59,782
Why do you keep saying "we"?

205
00:12:01,743 --> 00:12:04,787
Your problem is you don't appreciate
the things I do for you.

206
00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:07,331
I'm tired of being treated
as a second-class citizen.

207
00:12:07,498 --> 00:12:09,041
Fine. You wanna leave, leave.

208
00:12:11,627 --> 00:12:13,546
Maybe I will.

209
00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:17,300
- Way to stand up for yourself.
- Thank you.

210
00:12:18,217 --> 00:12:22,346
So are we really out of meatloaf or were
you just saying that to piss him off?

211
00:12:25,016 --> 00:12:26,434
Oh, this looks interesting.

212
00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:29,395
"Two-bedroom, needs work,
up-and-coming neighborhood."

213
00:12:29,562 --> 00:12:31,856
What does that mean,
up-and-coming neighborhood?

214
00:12:32,023 --> 00:12:36,360
The realtor didn't think he could move
the house saying drug-ravaged battlefield.

215
00:12:37,236 --> 00:12:39,822
- Okay, we'll keep looking.
- Alan, I don't mean to pry.

216
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:41,616
But after alimony and child support...

217
00:12:41,783 --> 00:12:45,536
...exactly how much
can you afford to spend?

218
00:12:56,756 --> 00:12:57,965
Really?

219
00:12:58,132 --> 00:13:00,801
- Yes, really.
- Sweetie, my shoes cost more than this.

220
00:13:00,968 --> 00:13:02,720
Well, Mom, you have a lot of shoes.

221
00:13:02,887 --> 00:13:05,223
The ones I'm wearing.

222
00:13:05,389 --> 00:13:07,725
Based on this amount,
you don't need a realtor.

223
00:13:07,892 --> 00:13:10,561
You need someone
who sells camping equipment.

224
00:13:10,728 --> 00:13:12,772
Yeah, well, that's what I'll do.

225
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:17,026
All right. But may I propose
a simple alternative?

226
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:19,278
I'm not living with you, Mom.

227
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:21,113
Okay.

228
00:13:21,906 --> 00:13:24,700
- Then I have a final alternative.
- And what would that be?

229
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,745
Run straight to your brother's ass
and kiss it repeatedly.

230
00:13:28,996 --> 00:13:32,041
Forget it. I can't stay here anymore.

231
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:35,461
Hey, Red. You wanna top this off
for me?

232
00:13:35,753 --> 00:13:39,966
Certainly. May I get you a short stack
and some pork links while I'm at it?

233
00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:41,926
No, I'm full.

234
00:13:42,093 --> 00:13:46,013
But as long as we're discussing
dining choices, why don't you bite me?

235
00:13:48,182 --> 00:13:50,643
Oh, goodie. More loved ones.

236
00:13:51,644 --> 00:13:53,604
- Good morning, Charlie.
- Let me guess.

237
00:13:53,771 --> 00:13:55,273
Alan invited you to move in.

238
00:13:55,773 --> 00:13:57,441
No. She's helping me move out.

239
00:13:58,943 --> 00:14:00,194
This is a sad day.

240
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,905
- We're gonna miss you around here, Alan.
- Thank you.

241
00:14:03,072 --> 00:14:05,366
Sad, sad, sad.

242
00:14:05,533 --> 00:14:08,452
Don't you have anything to say, Charlie?

243
00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:10,705
Yeah.

244
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:19,463
Okay, well, enough of sentiment.

245
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:20,965
We should really get going.

246
00:14:21,132 --> 00:14:24,010
Apartments in your price range
are a long drive from Malibu.

247
00:14:24,176 --> 00:14:26,846
- I know, Mom.
- A long, long drive.

248
00:14:27,013 --> 00:14:28,723
Got it.

249
00:14:29,056 --> 00:14:30,725
Maybe you should go pee-pee
before...

250
00:14:30,891 --> 00:14:32,643
Okay.

251
00:14:34,437 --> 00:14:35,938
You mind looking after Jake?

252
00:14:36,147 --> 00:14:38,983
If it'll help get you out of here,
I'll breast-feed him.

253
00:14:43,529 --> 00:14:45,656
You know, with Zippy out of here...

254
00:14:45,823 --> 00:14:49,118
...you're gonna have that nice
guest room just go to waste.

255
00:14:49,285 --> 00:14:50,619
- Yeah.
- So I was thinking.

256
00:14:50,786 --> 00:14:52,413
How about if I become a live-in?

257
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,666
A live-in what?

258
00:14:55,833 --> 00:15:00,337
Housekeeper. Easier for you,
easier for me. Everybody wins.

259
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,839
Gee...

260
00:15:02,006 --> 00:15:04,967
Hold that thought.
My coffee just kicked in.

261
00:15:11,849 --> 00:15:14,351
You wanna go down to the arcade
and play air hockey?

262
00:15:14,518 --> 00:15:15,603
No.

263
00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:18,022
- Wanna go to a movie?
- No.

264
00:15:18,189 --> 00:15:21,692
Come on, I'll take you to something
R-rated. See some boobs.

265
00:15:22,526 --> 00:15:24,069
Just leave me alone.

266
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:27,698
- Are you mad at me?
- What was your first clue?

267
00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:31,076
Well, frankly, your dismissive attitude
toward boobs.

268
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,122
Why are you making us move?

269
00:15:35,915 --> 00:15:37,708
You're not moving.

270
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:40,878
Well, then why is Dad looking
for another place for us to live?

271
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,714
Because he's trying
to teach me a lesson.

272
00:15:43,881 --> 00:15:45,925
Why don't you tell him to stop?

273
00:15:46,091 --> 00:15:48,177
Because I'm trying to
teach him a lesson.

274
00:15:48,803 --> 00:15:50,137
What's your lesson?

275
00:15:51,472 --> 00:15:53,516
That it's my house.

276
00:15:53,974 --> 00:15:55,184
What's his lesson?

277
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,853
That he lives here too.

278
00:15:58,813 --> 00:16:02,691
Okay, I'm just a kid,
but that sounds stupid even to me.

279
00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:07,988
Well, be that as it may,
I give you my word...

280
00:16:08,155 --> 00:16:10,241
...I'm not gonna let you go anywhere.

281
00:16:10,407 --> 00:16:12,576
- Promise?
- Promise.

282
00:16:17,248 --> 00:16:18,666
Is the boob offer still open?

283
00:16:19,792 --> 00:16:21,585
Come on.

284
00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:30,494
- How do you pronounce her last name?
- Hayek. Salma Hayek.

285
00:16:30,661 --> 00:16:33,413
Her name's as pretty as her boobs.

286
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:39,336
- Hey.
- Hey.

287
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,505
What's all this?

288
00:16:41,672 --> 00:16:44,633
Found a place.
Fully furnished, ready to move in.

289
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,720
Jake, I packed most of your stuff. You
may wanna check if I missed anything.

290
00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:51,765
- Uncle Charlie?
- Listen to your father.

291
00:16:51,932 --> 00:16:54,851
- But you said...
- I said, listen to your father.

292
00:16:56,895 --> 00:16:57,938
I'm just a pawn.

293
00:17:01,566 --> 00:17:03,443
- So where is this place?
- Ln the Valley.

294
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:08,990
A lovely Spanish-style complex
called Valley Hacienda.

295
00:17:09,157 --> 00:17:11,034
- Good for you.
- Two-bedroom.

296
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:13,412
Pool, Jacuzzi, rec room.

297
00:17:13,578 --> 00:17:16,748
- Sounds great.
- Lt is. And we're going.

298
00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:20,210
I can see that.

299
00:17:20,377 --> 00:17:23,839
Well, it's for the best. I'll finally
have a place that's really mine...

300
00:17:24,005 --> 00:17:26,633
...and you can go back to living
the selfish, unexamined life...

301
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,969
...you obviously cherish.

302
00:17:29,136 --> 00:17:30,929
Looking forward to it.

303
00:17:32,139 --> 00:17:33,640
Okay, I guess I'm ready to go.

304
00:17:37,436 --> 00:17:40,522
Well, then, I guess we should go.

305
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:43,900
Need some help?

306
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:45,736
No, we can handle it.

307
00:17:51,283 --> 00:17:53,743
All right. Valley Hacienda,
here we come.

308
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,706
Jake, say goodbye
to your Uncle Charlie.

309
00:17:58,457 --> 00:18:01,168
- Bye, Uncle Charlie.
- Bye, kid.

310
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:04,004
Jake, go get in the car.

311
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:06,631
Listen to your father.

312
00:18:08,216 --> 00:18:11,636
I don't think anybody's
learning anything here.

313
00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:15,140
Well, thanks for your hospitality.

314
00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:21,396
I'm sorry we overstayed our welcome.

315
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,653
- Alan.
- I don't wanna go.

316
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,363
Please don't make me go.

317
00:18:31,156 --> 00:18:34,367
I love it here. I love it so much.

318
00:18:34,868 --> 00:18:38,914
- I thought you found a nice place.
- I was bluffing. It sucked, they all sucked.

319
00:18:39,497 --> 00:18:43,168
Do you want me to kiss your ass?
Because I will. Come on, turn around.

320
00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:45,545
- Come on.
- Alan, cut it out.

321
00:18:45,712 --> 00:18:47,422
I mean it. You're the boss.

322
00:18:47,589 --> 00:18:50,091
I'd rather be a second-class
citizen here in paradise...

323
00:18:50,258 --> 00:18:53,470
...than king of a urine-soaked firetrap
next to Burbank Airport.

324
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:56,890
Alan, Alan, calm down. Calm down.

325
00:18:57,349 --> 00:18:59,309
If you wanna stay, you can stay.

326
00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:01,978
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

327
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:04,105
Charlie, you have no idea
how bad it was.

328
00:19:04,272 --> 00:19:06,566
I couldn't bring a woman
to one of these places.

329
00:19:06,733 --> 00:19:10,111
The only way I'd ever have sex
was if I was molested by a rat.

330
00:19:10,946 --> 00:19:12,864
Pull yourself together.

331
00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:14,950
Now, go grab Jake
and we'll have dinner.

332
00:19:15,116 --> 00:19:16,534
Okay. Okay.

333
00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:19,412
- And thanks again.
- You're welcome.

334
00:19:28,296 --> 00:19:30,298
- Hey, hey, Charlie?
- What?

335
00:19:30,465 --> 00:19:33,510
Just before I went down on my knees...

336
00:19:34,511 --> 00:19:36,596
...were you about to say something?

337
00:19:36,763 --> 00:19:37,847
I don't think so.

338
00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:41,226
Before I started weeping...

339
00:19:42,394 --> 00:19:44,062
...you were gonna tell me to stay.

340
00:19:44,229 --> 00:19:45,647
No, I wasn't.

341
00:19:46,439 --> 00:19:49,818
Okay, you're not fooling anybody.

342
00:19:49,985 --> 00:19:51,528
You'd miss me if I was gone.

343
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:55,532
Despite everything you've said,
we're brothers.

344
00:19:55,699 --> 00:19:59,369
And we have a bond that's deeper
and more meaningful than any...

345
00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:07,293
He folded, didn't he?

346
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:10,839
My ass is covered with lip prints.

347
00:20:11,381 --> 00:20:12,424
Damn.

348
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:14,259
Well, anyway.

349
00:20:14,426 --> 00:20:17,053
I guess you wanna head home
and see how Philip's doing.

350
00:20:17,220 --> 00:20:18,763
Who?

351
00:20:20,056 --> 00:20:22,851
Philip. Your brother. Detoxing.

352
00:20:23,476 --> 00:20:25,145
Oh, yeah, sure.

353
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,521
Philip.

354
00:20:26,688 --> 00:20:27,856
My brother.

355
00:20:36,197 --> 00:20:37,490
This isn't so bad.

356
00:20:45,164 --> 00:20:47,250
Seems reasonably safe.

357
00:20:47,416 --> 00:20:48,459
Oh, yeah.

358
00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:50,461
I'm sure the Valley Hacienda
crack dealers...

359
00:20:50,628 --> 00:20:53,256
...have organized
some sort of neighborhood watch.

360
00:20:53,422 --> 00:20:57,426
We could make this work.
I think it's got a lot going for it.

361
00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:09,480
I'm not a big fan of the orange carpet.

362
00:21:10,606 --> 00:21:14,193
But part of the fun of a new place
is fixing it up, making it your own.

363
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,612
Slap on a coat of paint...

364
00:21:23,619 --> 00:21:27,373
...and of course, a little bleach
to take those blood stains in the tub.

365
00:21:27,999 --> 00:21:31,002
Or you could run home
and kiss your brother's ass repeatedly.

366
00:21:31,168 --> 00:21:33,254
Couldn't you just say, "I told you so"?

367
00:21:59,572 --> 00:22:01,657
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

368
00:22:01,824 --> 00:22:03,909
[ENGLISH]