1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,422
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons

2
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:07,799
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

3
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:10,468
D'oh !

4
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,512
(SCREAMlNG)
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)

5
00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,098
(ELECTRlCAL BUZZlNG)

6
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,990
This is Kent Brockman,

7
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,244
live at
Springfield's most beloved
tourist attraction,

8
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,914
the man-shaped mountain crag
known as Geezer Rock.

9
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,709
Carved by
centuries of wind and rain,

10
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,420
Geezer Rock
will soon be more than
just a place for teens

11
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,380
to have sex
and commit suicide.

12
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,550
Why did they cancel Futurama?

13
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,926
(SCREAMS)

14
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:58,683
You crushed my boyfriend !
You better be good
at making out!

15
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:05,398
Today, Geezer Rock will be
officially designated
a national landmark.

16
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,942
What's the big deal
about a rock that
looks like a dude?

17
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,610
l've got a dad that
looks like a monkey.

18
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,447
Bart, you promised
you'd stop making
that comparison !

19
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,659
Per our agreement!

20
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:19,829
(GROANS lN DlSGUST)

21
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:21,539
Knock-kneed home renters.

22
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:25,084
Can't we
thin this herd with some
smallpox-infected blankets?

23
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:27,628
We're already immune,
you jerk!

24
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,423
Gee, l never
noticed that before.

25
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,508
He's got a tree in his eye.

26
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:35,511
lf that tree gets too big,
it'll ruin the beauty
of that rock!

27
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,721
We'll lose tourists!

28
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,973
And then, who will
buy my roadside corn?

29
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,184
You don't sell
roadside corn.

30
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,186
There's a lot
you don't know
about me, Marge.

31
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,438
A lot that would shock you.

32
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:50,359
(SlNGlNG) Ride a painted pony
Let the spinnin' wheeI spin

33
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,656
Thank you, BIood and Tears.
Sorry to hear about Sweat.

34
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,619
Now, before
the Undersecretary
of the lnterior

35
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,246
declares Geezer Rock
a national landmark,

36
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:06,209
we shall hear
a poem written by
honor student, Lisa Simpson.

37
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,461
Thank you.
(HOMER STRUGGLlNG)

38
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:12,006
Geezer Rock,
An Appreciation in Verse.

39
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,382
(LlGHT APPLAUSE)

40
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,055
(GRUNTlNG)

41
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,351
Now, to do something
l've never done before.

42
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,645
Help out an old man.

43
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,820
"Postcard image,
thing to see. . ."

44
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,404
(RUMBLlNG)

45
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,324
Gotta go, sweetie!

46
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,450
But l didn't read my poem !

47
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,911
Here's a poem.
Run fast or lose your ass!

48
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:44,914
(ALL SCREAMlNG)

49
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,420
Mr. Burns?

50
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,219
Mr. Burns is gone.

51
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:02,181
And tonight was the night
l was gonna
show him my tattoo.

52
00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:03,474
(SOBBlNG)

53
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,939
l can't believe that
historic rock is gone.

54
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,983
My poem has become an elegy.

55
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,027
An elegy no one
will ever hear.

56
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,988
Well, at least
some good came out of today.

57
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,364
Bart, you're grounded
for a year!

58
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,657
l'll just pay the fine.

59
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:20,825
Okay. Three bucks.

60
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,327
Why don't you
publish your poem?

61
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,413
Publish it myself?

62
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,081
Why not?

63
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,126
l could put out
a whole newspaper
dedicated to the rock!

64
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,879
l'd be a publisher,
just like Katharine Graham !

65
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,464
Or that lady who wheels
Larry Flynt around.

66
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:39,468
Mr. Burns, perhaps it's best
you were snatched away

67
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,388
before time could
diminish your beauty.

68
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,474
Stop your wailing, Waylon !
l'm alive!

69
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,103
MR. BURNS: Oops!

70
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,980
That stays in.

71
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,942
Sir, you're alive! But how?

72
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:58,905
Because of my svelte physique,
l was able to fit in
a narrow air pocket.

73
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,742
l survived on
whatever sustenance
came my way.

74
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,044
ThankfuIIy, a mother moIe
nursed me as her own

75
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,129
untiI I was strong
enough to continue.

76
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,138
Now, let's see how
the common folk

77
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,891
are grieving for
their fallen god, me.

78
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,268
And so,
a day after the tragedy,

79
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,772
the town still mourns
the loss of its
venerable old man.

80
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,023
Here it comes.

81
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,483
BeIoved by chiIdren.

82
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:37,276
Yes, the little ones.

83
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,612
Thought to be
thousands of years oId...

84
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,531
l have been 89
for a while now.

85
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,825
We'll miss you, Geezer Rock.

86
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,035
(SPlTS)

87
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,623
(GASPlNG)

88
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,459
Quickly, Smithers,
re-hydrate me.

89
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,672
But one old man
we certainIy don't miss

90
00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,341
is the late
C. Montgomery Burns.

91
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,551
As owner of the Springfield
Nuclear Power Plant,

92
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,721
he generated both
eIectricity and contempt.

93
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:10,267
Thank you, Geezer Rock,
for doing what none of us
had the courage to do,

94
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,395
smush Mr. Burns.

95
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:17,233
This town cared more
for a soulless piece of
granite than for me.

96
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,695
l don't have
a friend in the world.

97
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,364
You have me, sir.

98
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,074
Don't be so needy!

99
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:30,788
Well, l'm going
to change this town's
accurate impression of me.

100
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,958
Sir, you could
improve your image
with various good deeds.

101
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,961
Don't l already give out
turkey slices to the poor?

102
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,171
You eliminated that program
in the '30s, sir.

103
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,882
They were getting
too grabby!

104
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,467
Oh, all right.

105
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,929
l know how to change the way
the public thinks of me.

106
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,974
l'll buy every
media outlet in town !

107
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,601
Bring me a checkbook
and a mother mole!

108
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,979
(SUCKlNG)

109
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,982
l really got
hooked on this stuff.

110
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,658
Thanks for helping me deliver
the first edition of
The Red Dress Press, Dad.

111
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,618
l'm always happy
to help you, sweetie.

112
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,787
Extree! Extree!

113
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:15,082
Man driving erratically
throws papers out window!

114
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,213
LISA: "Elegy for Geezer Rock.

115
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,966
"Postcard image,
thing to see,

116
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,886
"to think of Springfield
is to think of thee.

117
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,180
"What thoughts
be-pass a'hind thy mien?

118
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,849
"Why sky art bIue,
why trees art green?

119
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,852
"And what, pray teII,
did thine eyes see?

120
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,605
"Perchance, old friend,
they gazed at me.

121
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,149
"Brought Iow by
nature's oafish hand,

122
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,651
"thou crush-ed
our reviewing stand

123
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,029
"and twixt thy stones
gIimpsed I the truth.

124
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:49,116
"AII things must pass,
thy face, my youth."

125
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,869
Oh, wow.

126
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:56,123
l haven't cried like this
since the third
Mr. Teeny died.

127
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:59,460
You couldn't hold
a candle to him.

128
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,003
(WEEPlNG)

129
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,508
Neither could you !

130
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,469
You're okay,
you got me broads.

131
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,515
Oh, this is one
dilly of a daily, Lisa.

132
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,058
Can't wait for tomorrow's.

133
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,392
"Tomorrow's"?

134
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,520
l hadn't thought
about publishing more.

135
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,523
You better.
l've already sold
a bunch of subscriptions.

136
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,900
How do you think l
got these swell prizes?

137
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,659
All right, Nelson,
what kind of journalism
skills do you have?

138
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,828
l don't know.
Making nerds cry?

139
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,747
Perfect.
You're our TV critic.
Ralph, what about you?

140
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:38,374
l want to be a fire truck.

141
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,459
How about
a feature columnist?

142
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,711
Yeah,
l'm a feature columnist!

143
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,965
(lMlTATlNG SlREN BLARlNG)

144
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,968
Good day.

145
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:50,511
Hello.

146
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,805
Great glayvin's ghost!
He's alive!

147
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,559
Yes, that's right.
l pulled a Jesus.
Have a nickel.

148
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,643
(EXCLAlMS lN SURPRlSE)

149
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:02,064
Burns is alive?
Then whose skull am
l drinking beer out of?

150
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,192
Boy, l can't wait to
dance on his grave!

151
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,318
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.

152
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,403
(ALL EXCLAlM)

153
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,571
Whose grave?

154
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,614
Uh, the unknown soldier?

155
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:11,949
Carry on.

156
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,245
(SHOES TAPPlNG)

157
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:20,833
Okay, it's time
to win the love of these
hateful morons.

158
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,420
Step one,
amass a vast media empire.

159
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,884
The station's not
for sale, Burns.

160
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,595
lt's been in the same family
for generations.

161
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,347
Look, l assure you,
no sack of money

162
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,308
is big enough to
change my mind.

163
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,392
Now, if. . .

164
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,271
There's more to life
than being rich, you know?

165
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,858
Very tempting,
but l assure you,
l'm still not sold.

166
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,527
Want to split
an ice cream sundae?

167
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:49,737
Done and done!

168
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,746
BART: Check it out.
Principal Skinrash.

169
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,956
Nice work, Bart,
but give him a runny nose.

170
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,417
l want the readers to gag
on their morning cup of joe.

171
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,377
Snot a problem, chief.
Don't call me chief.

172
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,046
Sure thing, jerk.
Chief is fine.

173
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,798
You're on the Morning Zoo
with BiII and Marty!

174
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,301
What's your Wednesday whine?

175
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,553
MR. BURNS:
Well, first of all,
I agree with you two,

176
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:16,722
it's sheer humbuggery
that pretty girIs

177
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,849
can fIirt their way
out of speeding tickets.

178
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:21,060
No support for
the naughty hotties!

179
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,269
(HONKlNG HORN)

180
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,939
Secondly, l want you to
pack up and get out.

181
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,191
l just bought this station,
and you're fired.

182
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:30,611
And pIay that
deIightfuI fIush sound
on your way out.

183
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,071
Yes, sir.

184
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,156
(TOlLET FLUSHlNG)

185
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,493
lndoor plumbing.
The lack of it
killed my mother.

186
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,372
l've done it, Smithers!

187
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,250
l've bought every
media outlet in town.

188
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,127
TV, radio,
even the skywriters.

189
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,590
Cletus, what does that say?

190
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:55,302
That? That says,
"l loves you, Brandine."

191
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,515
Oh, Cletus.
Tonight, you can
knock me up again.

192
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,228
Excellent. But put a little
more apple in my cheek.

193
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,105
lt's apple-ing now, sir.

194
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:08,691
Splendid !

195
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,111
Now, let's see how l'm faring
on the jumping box.

196
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,654
You mean
the television, sir?

197
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:17,366
Television,
jumping box, picto-cube,
just crank it up!

198
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:19,994
In tonight's face-off,

199
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:23,747
I wiII be debating
Channel 6 movie
ghouIie BoobereIIa

200
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,542
on the subject
of our new boss,
C. Montgomery Burns.

201
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,920
My view, he's a great Ieader
and a gaIIant American.

202
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,340
He's got a heart
as big as my boobs!

203
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,719
I guess we'II have to agree
to agree on this one.

204
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,637
Boobs!

205
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,806
Smithers, do you know
Bill from Accounting?

206
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,391
That's his daughter.
Hmm.

207
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,904
Let me show you
why you and aII
protesters are wrong.

208
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:56,989
AII right.

209
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,745
NucIear power heIps
heat that orphanage

210
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,247
and keeps that
hospitaI humming.

211
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:11,003
But what about wind power?
It's cheap and safe.

212
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,087
ls it?

213
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,131
(YELLS)

214
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,385
Remember, children,
nucIear power is your friend,

215
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,387
and so is Monty Burns.

216
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,015
Don't end up Iike me.
Vote RepubIican.

217
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:26,602
God bless America.
This cartoon
was made in Korea.

218
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,562
Burns owns everything !

219
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,273
l've got to speak out
before it's too late!

220
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:33,901
D'oh !

221
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,653
"Dear readers,
you hold in your hands

222
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:40,532
"the last paper not controlled
by the Burns Media empire.

223
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:41,700
"We are not afraid to say

224
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:45,579
"Montgomery Burns
is a monopolistic,
self-aggrandizing

225
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,123
"stinky pants."

226
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,626
Hmm. Maybe Burns
ain't so great.

227
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,420
This little girl has
given us a lot to mull.

228
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:57,049
Hey, you mugs,
thinking ain't drinking !

229
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,884
Hey! Ow! Okay.

230
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,638
Bring that girl to me.

231
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,309
l'm sorry, Mr. Burns,
but my paper is not for sale.

232
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,561
Maybe a little gift
will change your mind.

233
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,399
Send in Sugarbell.

234
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,531
She's very pretty.

235
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,324
But the answer is still no.

236
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,493
Honeysuckle, Dewdrop.

237
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,745
(MUSlC BOX CHlMlNG)

238
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,169
Oh, no!

239
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,132
(NlCKERlNG)

240
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:43,095
They're so beautiful.
And their breath
smells like peppermint.

241
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,140
No! No! l won't
take your blood ponies!

242
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,225
Go on, sweeties. Go on.

243
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,476
Shoo.

244
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,769
(HlSSlNG)

245
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,940
Very well.
You had your chance.

246
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:58,277
l am going to shred you
like a Christmas card !
Now get out!

247
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,488
l can't!
My mom's not picking
me up for an hour!

248
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:04,825
(SlGHS)

249
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:10,622
So, what do
you think of today's
popular music scene?

250
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:14,209
l think
it distracts people from more
important social issues.

251
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,670
My God, are you always on?

252
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:28,807
(SCREAMlNG)

253
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,018
Stupid women drivers!

254
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,230
(SCREAMlNG)

255
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,358
Stupid women
helicopter pilots!

256
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,236
(SCREAMlNG)

257
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,575
Everyone okay?

258
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:47,910
(ALL GROANlNG)

259
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,412
(RATTLlNG)
Uh-oh.

260
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,540
You can't leave now.

261
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,959
We're the only thing
stopping Mr. Burns!

262
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,586
Sorry, Lisa.

263
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:02,049
And by the way,
that story l filed
from Baghdad was all made up.

264
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,343
l was actually in Basra.

265
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,431
(GROANlNG)
Everyone chickened out.
Except Ralph.

266
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,433
He got poached by
the Chicago Tribune.

267
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,896
l guess we're down
to just me.

268
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:19,274
Take the sob sister
act somewhere else.
You're standing in my light.

269
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,152
Bart, you're staying !

270
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,780
Lise, l've learned
a valuable lesson here,

271
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,991
the pen is mightier
than the flaming bag of poop.

272
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,327
Oh, it's beautiful !

273
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,165
This is an outrage!

274
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,544
Since when
are public figures
fair game for satire?

275
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,379
Your goons did run
her off the road, sir.

276
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,716
l can't be held responsible
for what my goons
were ordered to do!

277
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,469
Perhaps there's
a non-violent way
to silence this girl?

278
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,055
Non-violence
never solved anything.

279
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,435
Fine, curtsy boy.
l'll try it your way.

280
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,650
What the. . .

281
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,486
Dad, Mr. Burns cut our power!

282
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,905
Now, l can't print my paper!

283
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,866
These batteries have to power
everything in our house!

284
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,162
(SlNGlNG) Yo,
I'II teII you what I want
what I reaIIy, reaIIy want

285
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,290
What l want, what l want
I'II teII you what I want

286
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,583
l want...

287
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,667
(TAPE SLOWS DOWN AND STOPS)

288
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,711
That was totally worth it.

289
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,255
Stupid Burns!

290
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,508
Cuts off my power,
lowers my credit rating.

291
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,136
Lisa, l think l can help you.

292
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,972
You're not mad about
Principal Skinrash?

293
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,685
Are you kidding? l love it!
l once had
a principal like that!

294
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,811
Now, come with me.

295
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:39,813
What's that?

296
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,482
This, young lady,
is a mimeo machine.

297
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:46,820
A hand-operated
duplicating device.
No electricity needed.

298
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,533
(SNlFFS)

299
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,869
That smell takes me back.

300
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,293
(GUNS FlRlNG)

301
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,004
(YELLS lN VlETNAMESE)

302
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:17,601
Finally in 1 992,
l was reunited
with that chair.

303
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,686
lt wasn't quite the same.

304
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:28,236
Good God. l'm at war
with a little girl.

305
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,364
And l'm losing !

306
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,741
Smithers, this calls
for the League of Evil !

307
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:44,086
My league!
My beautiful league!
All dead.

308
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,921
Even monsters
need air, sir.

309
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,382
Blast!
Well, gather their watches.

310
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,511
l must find another way
to vanquish the girl.

311
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,305
So, has your
daughter always been

312
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,349
such a righteous
little rabble-rouser?

313
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,936
Oh, yeah.
She's always trying
to improve mankind.

314
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,397
Fascinating ! Do go on.

315
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,983
Wait a minute.
Are you trying to
get dirt on Lisa?

316
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:11,029
Oh, you saw right through me.
Well done.

317
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,906
Have some
congratulatory drugs.

318
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,118
Well, if that's your custom.

319
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:23,917
Now, tell me more
about your daughter.
And speak into the lamp.

320
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,544
Okay.

321
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,296
Well, she's into Buddhism,
whistle-blowing,

322
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,716
totally against pollution,
no matter what l say.

323
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,844
Liberal wacko, eh?
Any young beaux?

324
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:37,055
Well, that loser Milhouse
has always had
a thing for her.

325
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,808
Don't you love it
when nerds don't
know they're nerds?

326
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,143
Yes.

327
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:44,938
There's nothing more pathetic
than self-delusion, eh?

328
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,110
Hello, Beefcake Charlie.
(CHUCKLES)

329
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,240
Dad, how could you
say these things?

330
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:58,952
l'm so sorry, honey.
l said good things
about you, too.

331
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,954
Check out
the Lifestyle section.

332
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,623
"Plastic Pearls
Make the Girl."

333
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,710
Well, at least
there's nothing else
Burns can do to me.

334
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,882
Oh ! (GASPS)

335
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,010
LlSA: No!

336
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,387
Way to go, Moon Milhouse!

337
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,267
lt's as easy as
crushing an ant.
You know the. . .

338
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,772
(GRUNTlNG)

339
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,023
Whoa!

340
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,360
Take my wallet
and leave me alone!

341
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,575
lt's not fair.

342
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:39,993
(SOBBlNG)

343
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,291
l can't stand seeing
one of my children like this.

344
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,046
(MUFFLED SOBBlNG)

345
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,382
Oh, l can still hear her!
l better do something !

346
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,428
Look at you go!
Typety-type-type-type!

347
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:01,389
Marge,
l'm pulling an all-nighter
for my little girl !

348
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,434
Put on a pot of coffee,
drink it and start
making burgers!

349
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,562
Some anniversary this is.

350
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,486
"The Homer Times"?

351
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,905
HOMER:
"AII my daughter ever did

352
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,824
"was teII peopIe to
think for themselves.

353
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,910
"I may be her father,
but when I grow up,

354
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,914
"I want to be just Iike her,
except stiII a dude!"

355
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,085
Oh, Dad, this is so sweet.

356
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,504
But l've learned
one little paper

357
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,589
can't make
a difference in this world.

358
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,677
"The Barney BugIe"?

359
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,887
Lisa, you've made me realize

360
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,807
the importance of
free and independent media.

361
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,892
So l printed my own paper!

362
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:49,062
Although, it's mostly culled
from wire services.

363
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,146
(BELCHES)

364
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,774
Hey, who wants a copy of
The Lenny Saver?

365
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,401
You have a newspaper, too?

366
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,529
Well, l was reading
in The Homer Times
about what you did for us.

367
00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:00,866
And l got to thinking
maybe l should start
asking my own questions.

368
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,368
You know, find out
the truth about things.

369
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,414
lt had to be told.

370
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,541
Check out
The Willie World News.

371
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:13,003
l reviewed the new tractors.
They're all shite!

372
00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:17,048
See, Lisa?
lnstead of one big shot
controlling all the media,

373
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:21,636
now there's a thousand freaks
xeroxing their
worthless opinions.

374
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,471
l couldn't be prouder.

375
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,850
Are you a Patty or a Selma?
Take our quiz.

376
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,686
Well, blow me down.
l'm a Selma.

377
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,940
Well, l guess it's impossible
to control all the media.

378
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:37,861
Unless of course
you're Rupert Murdoch.
He is one beautiful man.

379
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,821
l couldn't agree more.

380
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:45,869
Smithers, l'm a proud fellow,
and it's not easy
for me to admit defeat.

381
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,538
But l know just the thing
to make me feel better.

382
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:49,623
Shopping.

383
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,207
(JOYFUL MUSlC PLAYlNG)

384
00:21:58,609 --> 00:21:59,609
English - US - PSDH