1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,130
(SlNGlNG) The Simpsons

2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,507
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,510
D'oh !

4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,595
(SCREAMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

5
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,349
(MlCROWAVE DlNGS)

6
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,486
How's the ice cream, kids?

7
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,570
BOTH: Great!

8
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:30,988
Who's ready for a kitten?

9
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,865
l am !
Make mine calico!

10
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,117
Here you go.

11
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,284
(MEWlNG)

12
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,204
This whole morning
has been wonderful. . .

13
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,288
(KlTTEN PURRlNG)

14
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,457
Too wonderful.

15
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,042
You're right. This is it!

16
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:44,794
They're selling us to be
crash test dummies.

17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,462
Oh, please let it be Volvo.

18
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:49,799
Oh, you children
are too suspicious.

19
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,634
(QUlETLY) lt's go time.

20
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,723
(CHUCKLlNG)

21
00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,726
lt's shot day!
(ALL SHRlEKlNG)

22
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,980
Welcome to Hell. . .man
Avenue Medical Plaza.

23
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,273
(WHlMPERlNG)

24
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,526
Children,
you should be grateful
you live in a country

25
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,320
where childhood diseases
have been practically. . .

26
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,030
Karate!
Ow!

27
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,324
(CHUCKLlNG)

28
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,452
(GRUNTS)

29
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,830
Bart! That hobo skeleton
is not a toy!

30
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,165
This is ridiculous.

31
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,751
Only babies and ex-junkies
are afraid of needles.

32
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,502
Stick me, Chuckles!

33
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,590
(WHlMPERlNG)
Can l have a lollipop?

34
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,677
Well, that just leaves Bart.

35
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,970
Don't forget Maggie.

36
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,890
Oh, l got her when
your heads were turned.
Got her good !

37
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,726
Now, Bart,
just look out the window.

38
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,436
lt'll take your
mind off the pain.

39
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,191
And when you're done,
l've got more lollies.

40
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,026
No, thanks.
l already helped myself.

41
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,657
See you later, inoculator.

42
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,534
(CAR SPEEDlNG AWAY)

43
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:01,662
He can run, but nobody
escapes the needle.

44
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,289
Charlene,
cancel all my appointments.

45
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,376
But, l need that kidney now.

46
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,088
(SlNGlNG) One way or another
I'm gonna find ya

47
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,216
I'm gonna getcha
getcha getcha getcha

48
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,136
One way or another
I'm gonna win ya

49
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,138
I'm gonna getcha
getcha getcha getcha

50
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:23,142
One way or another
I'm gonna see ya

51
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,144
I'm gonna meetcha
meetcha meetcha meetcha

52
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,522
One day, maybe next week

53
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:31,400
I'm gonna meetcha,
I'm gonna meetcha
l'll meetcha

54
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,404
Black-on-black
violence must end.

55
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,407
That was for Dr. King.

56
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,663
(CHUCKLlNG)

57
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,332
Don't feel bad, Doc.
l won't even let my
mom clip my toenails.

58
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,417
(LAUGHS MlSCHlEVOUSLY)

59
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:51,337
BARNEY: l guess
you're just too
smart for me, Bart.

60
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,505
What?

61
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,550
Ha-ha!

62
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,634
Huh?

63
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,179
(STRUGGLlNG)

64
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,809
Thanks, Barney.
Moe, we won't need you now.

65
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:06,769
Oh.

66
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,939
Okay. Well,
l really enjoyed being you,
Dr. Hibbert.

67
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,568
Oh, by the way,
you're not welcome in
the library no more.

68
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:14,861
l'm sorry.

69
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,697
Now, that wasn't so bad,
was it, Bart?

70
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,699
You know
sometimes the fear of. . .

71
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,200
(STATlC CRACKLlNG)

72
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,578
Whoa. Something's wrong !

73
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,246
l can't hear!

74
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,081
Doctor, perform a diagnosis!

75
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:29,792
Hmm. . .

76
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:34,213
l'm afraid the inoculation
has swollen his
ear holes shut.

77
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,590
Maybe this
would be a good time

78
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,966
to talk about
the side effects.

79
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:39,468
The boy's hearing
should clear up in a day.

80
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,345
lf it doesn't,
call me in the Bahamas.

81
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:44,140
For now,
he can express himself
with this complimentary pen.

82
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,641
Cool.

83
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:47,727
Oh, it's a good pen.
Try it out.

84
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:48,811
All right.

85
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,273
That was
a malpractice waiver, fool !

86
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,025
(CHUCKLlNG)

87
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:55,776
Ha-ha!

88
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,288
(AlR HORN BLOWlNG)

89
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,710
Stop it, Homer!

90
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,128
Oh. . .

91
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:19,342
Gimme your wallet, kid !
We're gonna identity theft
your ass.

92
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,219
(STATlC CRACKLlNG)
(lNAUDlBLE)

93
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,847
He's just standing
his ground !

94
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,391
He knows that deep down,
all bullies are cowards!

95
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,517
We're undone!

96
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,478
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG lN FEAR)

97
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,563
l know what
you're hiding, lad.

98
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,775
Willie's been deaf
since the boiler
explosion of '88.

99
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,485
But l taught
myself to read lips.

100
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,945
Morning, Willie!

101
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,321
What did you say
about me mother?

102
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,783
For your information,
her feet stink

103
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,327
because she works
in manure all day!

104
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:50,414
But it's still
the best damn
Starbucks in Glasgow!

105
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,793
Bart, pass the ketchup.

106
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,170
(YELLlNG) Bart,
pass the ketchup!

107
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,630
Dad, he's deaf.

108
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,048
Oh, sorry, right.

109
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,467
Bart, pass the corn !

110
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,177
(YELLlNG)
Bart, pass the corn !

111
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,261
(SlGHS)

112
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,474
l think you should stay home
from school tomorrow.

113
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,602
But, Mom, tomorrow's
the big donkey
basketball game.

114
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,562
The kids are gonna
play the teachers!

115
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:17,942
Donkey basketball?
Now l've heard everything,
unlike you !

116
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,026
(LAUGHlNG)

117
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,988
Oh. . .

118
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,156
Everyone remember that
for when his
hearing comes back.

119
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:25,992
Swish !

120
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,537
(CROWD LAUGHlNG)

121
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,627
WeIcome, everyone,
to the AnnuaI Donkey
Basketball Classic.

122
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,588
l'm sure that "mule"
enjoy it.

123
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,926
Hmm. Tough crowd.

124
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,220
WouId everyone just rise
for our national anthem?

125
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,723
(BAND PLAYlNG NATlONAL ANTHEM)

126
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,524
Hey, donkey, want a carrot?

127
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,570
Psych ! (LAUGHS)

128
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:16,375
Good Lord !
Bart's mooning the flag !

129
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,668
Don't look, Buttermilk!

130
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,211
(CROWD JEERlNG)

131
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,797
How dare he?

132
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,092
That's the flag
my grandpappy
rebelled against!

133
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:28,471
When you insult the flag,
you insult my flag tattoo!

134
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,479
Uh-oh.

135
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,275
(MUTTERlNG NERVOUSLY)

136
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,069
(DONKEY BRAYlNG)

137
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:44,487
What did you say
about my mother!

138
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,738
(YELLlNG)

139
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,993
You'll fry up
nice tonight!

140
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,541
Your child's
behavior appalls me
not just as a principal,

141
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,877
but as a veteran of
America's only losing war.

142
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:00,920
To date!

143
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:04,840
l swear, Bart didn't know
what he was doing.
He was deaf.

144
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:09,053
Oh, sure, Marge.
Just like Blind Bart,
Wheelchair Bart,

145
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,472
Pregnant Bart,
and my personal favorite,

146
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,766
Railroad
Spike-Through-Head Bart.

147
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,768
(LAUGHlNG)
Kids love trains.

148
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,895
Hey, fellas,
my hearing's back.

149
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,605
Congratulations, traitor!

150
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,859
Thank you. And let me say
l missed your sweet,
sweet voices.

151
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,653
Cram it, lraqi !
(GRUNTS)

152
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:29,323
Why'd you dis the flag?
lt partied on the moon !

153
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,619
Weren't we afraid of him
just a few days ago?

154
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,121
We're complex.

155
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,873
All right,
who can take a story

156
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,375
and blow it way
out of proportion?

157
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,543
l'm your man, boss!

158
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,461
l want you to
over-hype this story
so much,

159
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,089
it makes the New York Post
look like The New York Times.

160
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,466
Or The New York Times
look like the New York Post.

161
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,969
l forget which one
the good one is.

162
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,936
l did not come to
this country illegally
to see it mocked.

163
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,648
There's the boy
who bared his bottom
to Old Glory

164
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,317
and the family
that applauds
his every moonery!

165
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,738
They hate our country
but they love our
soapy water.

166
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:13,993
Huh?

167
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,997
Hey, Benedict Arnold,
our cups don't want
your colorful balls!

168
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,457
No one calls me unpatriotic!

169
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,335
(EXCLAlMS) Uh-oh.

170
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,014
(GROANS NERVOUSLY)

171
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,641
Hey, guys!

172
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,773
Oh, cold shoulder, huh?
Well, l'll just talk
to myself.

173
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,444
"Hey, how you doing, Homer?"
"Oh, not too bad.
How about you?"

174
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,238
"Oh, l'm fine.
Your wife was great
in bed last night."

175
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,948
"You keep your
hands off my wife!"

176
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,410
"Oh, yeah? Well,
l give her what she needs.
And she like. . ."

177
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,494
(CHOKlNG)

178
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,538
"Homer, stop it!"

179
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,166
Homer! This bar's
only for real Americans

180
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,710
and people on
permanent visas like me.

181
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,755
What? What are
you all looking at?
l'm Dutch.

182
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,757
Ah, forget all of you.

183
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,300
(CLOMPlNG)

184
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,178
l'm leaving, too.

185
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,223
l'm gonna go listen to
the President's
weekly radio address.

186
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,141
And not the rebuttal.

187
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,392
Goodbye, Homer.

188
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,729
l can't get drunk
and vomit next to a guy
l don't respect.

189
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,818
(SOBBlNG) Even my
best friends have left me.

190
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,821
l'm all alone!

191
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,166
LlSA: We've become pariahs!

192
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,503
ln the last two hours,
l've gotten 1 000 hate spams.

193
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,756
(RlNGlNG)

194
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,132
Y'ello?

195
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,928
Appear on your TV show?
Tell our side of the story?

196
00:09:56,012 --> 00:10:00,349
You'll see us there?
Goodbye? Dial tone?

197
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,185
MARGE:
lf there's one way to get
the truth out,

198
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,354
it's on a cable
news channel.

199
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:09,942
When we explain
our side of the story,
the hate calls will end.

200
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,945
l won't have to hear
"Suck my such and such"

201
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,614
or "hell this"
and "bitch that."

202
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,782
We get it, Mom !

203
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,200
Oh, no, no, let her finish.

204
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,744
Look, what should l say
to make people not hate me?

205
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,122
Son, l've learned
one thing in this life.

206
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,332
To stay out of trouble
just say nothing.

207
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,168
Don't rock the boat.
Don't even get in the boat!

208
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,629
Just buy some ice cream
and walk around the pier.

209
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,923
But don't go
in the bathrooms,
they're filthy.

210
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,719
Dad,
l am going on a talk show,
l have to say something.

211
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,680
Talk about boats.
Then, when he asks you
if you hate this country,

212
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,599
you just start crying
and pretend you don't.

213
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,268
But l don't hate
this country.

214
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:47,396
There, there.
Save your lies for
the American public.

215
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,816
l'm Nash Castor
and it's time to butt heads!

216
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,235
Bart Simpson,
what do you hate most
about this country?

217
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,361
ls it the freedom?

218
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,572
Nash, l've realized
something.

219
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,240
l'm the worst kid
in the world

220
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,743
and the last thing
l deserve is forgiveness.

221
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,662
But with
a little help from Jesus

222
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,415
and our fighting
men and women overseas. . .

223
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,167
All right.
So if l hear you correctly,

224
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,835
you're saying America
is better than Jesus.

225
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,087
Do you agree?
Before he can answer, do you?

226
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,381
Well, America's not perfect.

227
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:18,344
So America isn't perfect.
ls that why you
and your son hate us?

228
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,972
lf by "us" you mean
loud mouth talk show hosts,

229
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,058
which everyone seems to be
in this country,

230
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,643
then, yes,
l do hate Americans.

231
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,900
(GASPS) What did she say?

232
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,195
Well, Marge, l'm surprised
you haven't been
run out of town.

233
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:40,324
l'll have you know
l am very well-liked
in Springfield !

234
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,285
Well, there you have it.
Springfield hates America.

235
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,914
Now coming up
after this commercial, l will
be talking even louder!

236
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:47,998
Don't miss it!

237
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,833
AII over the country tonight,

238
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,836
patriotic Americans
are denouncing Springfield

239
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,464
and its officiaI spokesmen,
the Simpsons.

240
00:11:55,799 --> 00:12:00,511
I decIare today,
December 25th,
We Hate Springfield Day.

241
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,637
(ALL CHEERlNG)

242
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,182
TOM: Overseas,
the reaction tonight
is decidedIy different.

243
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,769
Simpsons be praised!
Praise be to Springfield!

244
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:09,853
(ULULATlNG)

245
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,065
But not everyone is
uIuIating tonight.

246
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,984
The President announced today
he is pointing warheads at...

247
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,071
Turn that off.
This could destroy our town.

248
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,323
Look what happened to
Hitler City, North Carolina.

249
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,201
lf they hadn't
changed their name
to Charlotte, they'd be sunk.

250
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,870
Sir, conventions are
pulling out of Springfield
left and right.

251
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,164
The Paprika Festival,
Bandana Days!

252
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,917
Sir, we just lost
the Adult Video Awards.

253
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,168
Not the Boneys!

254
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,630
l am honored to announce

255
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:40,175
that we are changing
the name of our town
to Libertyville!

256
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,345
"$1 7.76"?

257
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,473
l can't afford to sell
a West Side home for that!

258
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:50,144
But what a fantastical year
for pizza by the slice!

259
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,353
(HUMMlNG)

260
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,192
(SlNGlNG)
Charge a-money for a pizza
Buy myseIf a big-a new car

261
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,528
l'm as patriotic
as the next person,

262
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,239
but changing
the traffic lights
to red, white, and blue

263
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,699
just seems dangerous.

264
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,410
Come on, kid, go!
You got the red !

265
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,288
TEENAGER: Oh, no!

266
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,623
Okay, Mr. Teeny,
before the cops come,

267
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,376
swallow all
these illegal pills,
then run to the vet.

268
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:15,711
(TEENY CHATTERlNG)

269
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,590
(MUTTERlNG)

270
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,429
"Homeland Noodles
with Uncle Sam Balls."

271
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,932
Apu, aren't you going
a bit overboard
with the patriotism?

272
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,100
l don't think so.

273
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:34,563
lt is a heartfelt
expression of my true desire
to protect my mahogany noggin.

274
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,941
Uh-oh. Poonam and Uma
are fighting.

275
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,235
No, no.
Those are their
pre-witch hunt names.

276
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,406
Their new names
are Freedom, Lincoln,
Condoleezza, Coke, Pepsi,

277
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,159
Manifest Destiny,
Apple Pie and Superman.

278
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,453
And together,
we are the MacGillicuddys.

279
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,996
(ORGAN MUSlC PLAYlNG)

280
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:55,626
Lord, give us the courage
to worship the American flag,

281
00:13:55,877 --> 00:14:01,423
be it on a car, a belt buckle,
or on your holy person.

282
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:02,925
BART: Ay, caramba!

283
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,760
l'd like to say
something about

284
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,221
the current climate
of repression and fear.

285
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,555
Oh, put a cork in it.

286
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,765
Sit down, Saddam !

287
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,517
"Congress shall make no law

288
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,478
"abridging
the freedom of speech
or of the press."

289
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,357
That's from
the First Amendment

290
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,359
to the Constitution.
Thank you.

291
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,361
Thank you, Lisa.

292
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,364
l'm sure your opinion
will not go unnoticed.

293
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,282
(HELlCOPTER WHlRRlNG)

294
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,035
(GUNS COCKlNG)

295
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,703
Simpsons, you are
under arrest

296
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,122
for the violation of the
Government Knows Best Act.

297
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,875
Martha, play something
to lighten the mood.

298
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,754
(PLAYlNG TAKE ME OUT
TO THE BALL GAME)

299
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,469
(SlNGlNG) Buy me some peanuts
and Cracker Jacks

300
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,554
l don't care...

301
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:49,680
Ow!

302
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,312
l can't believe
they put us in jail !

303
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,566
lt's not a jail.
lt's a reeducation center.

304
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,150
Well, where do you
think we are?

305
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,820
Well, let's see.
After they blindfolded us,

306
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:09,616
it was left-right-left,
then a three-hour plane ride.

307
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:14,121
Do you get time off
for snitching on
your cellmates?

308
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:19,251
You were right, Homie.
We shouldn't have
rocked the boat.

309
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,211
Then none of this
would have ever happened.

310
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:24,006
Well, we're not the only ones
to be unjustly imprisoned.

311
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,091
Check out all
the left-wing celebrities.

312
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,097
Elmo go to wrong fundraiser.

313
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,100
Bill Clinton?
What are you doing here?

314
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,436
l called the Republican
tax cuts unwise.

315
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,980
And l stand by it.
They're unwise.

316
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,523
I want my Washington Post!

317
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,693
Here's your Washington Post!
You like that, Clinton?

318
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,696
You traitors pipe down !
You're all here
because you hate freedom !

319
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,949
l'm here because
l said imported wines
are better than Napa Valley!

320
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:53,201
Yeah? Well, why don't you
take a "napa"?

321
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,286
(GRUNTS)

322
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:59,124
My only crime was driving
a truck full of explosives
in from Canada.

323
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,627
Oh. . . l don't know
why they put

324
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,920
the real ones in
with the joke ones.

325
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,255
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

326
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,801
(FLUTE PLAYlNG)

327
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,346
Hello,
l'm the U. S. Constitution.

328
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:16,642
And I'm over 200 years oId.
But I'm feeIing fine.

329
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:21,563
I wish I couId say the same
for my crazy cousin,
Bill O'Rights.

330
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,107
(SLURRlNG)
What did l do?
What did l do?

331
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:26,902
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)

332
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,573
Lisa, that's not funny.
You believe in
the Bill of Rights.

333
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,744
l don't know whether
it's the lack of sleep,
the sodium pentothal,

334
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,413
or that it's
the only cartoon l've seen
in two months.

335
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,707
But this is what
l believe in now.

336
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,626
Oh, Homer, we've gotta
get out of here.

337
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,503
Yeah, yeah. Next commercial.

338
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,921
l know a way out.

339
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,089
Who are you?

340
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,843
l'm the last
registered Democrat.
Tax and spend ! Tax and spend !

341
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,428
(LAUGHS CRAZlLY)

342
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,764
Now, if you want to escape,

343
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,101
you can do it during
the prison talent show
tomorrow night.

344
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,062
l don't want to be
in any stupid talent show.

345
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,147
Not without my
Tennessee walking horses.

346
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:07,859
Well, you got no choice.
lt's the only way
you'll achieve your goal.

347
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,236
Goal !

348
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,489
Sweet, sweet goal !

349
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:18,745
Ninety-seven, 98, 99, 1 00!

350
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,872
(CHEERlNG)

351
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,836
Thank you. Vote for me
for best in show.

352
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,339
You guys are on
after Al Franken.

353
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:32,300
So the guards
would have used up
most of their bullets.

354
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,636
Make your break at
the end of your act.

355
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:39,015
Now, people have
accused this family
of not loving our country,

356
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,978
but you can't spell
USA without "us," hey?

357
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,480
(ORCHESTRAL MUSlC STARTlNG)

358
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:50,861
(SlNGlNG) Oh, beautifuI
for spacious skies

359
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:55,907
For amber waves of grain

360
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,286
(FAST MUSlC PLAYlNG)

361
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,999
Fifty stars and 1 3 stripes

362
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,419
Okay, kids,
show off your pipes

363
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,589
Americans are
brave and IoyaI

364
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,633
So come on jerks,
give us your oiI

365
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,762
My card here says ACLU

366
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,557
Now look what
I'm going to do

367
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:26,688
To Iove our country
is no chore

368
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,983
Wait right here
for our encore

369
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,572
(CROWD CHEERlNG)

370
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,784
We mean it, don't move!

371
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,243
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

372
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:42,579
They've escaped !

373
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,582
Okay, kids,
show off your pipes

374
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,627
Dad, why are
you still singing
that stupid song?

375
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:51,588
Because if they catch us,
we may have to do it again.

376
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,548
And this time
l want it tight.

377
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,134
D'oh !

378
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:59,513
What genius put a prison
on the middle of an island?

379
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,515
Does everyone remember
their swimming lessons?

380
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,599
Yes.
Yes.

381
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,100
No.
Great. Dive in !

382
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,397
(COCKS GUN)

383
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:12,192
Hold your fire.
That walrus will eat them.

384
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,443
No, that's the dad.

385
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,653
But he's eating a seal.

386
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,699
Swim toward San Francisco!

387
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:23,328
l'm not made of money!
We'll swim to Oakland.

388
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,579
(FOGHORN BLOWlNG)

389
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,914
There's a ship! We're saved !

390
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,166
Oh, what's the use?

391
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:30,168
Even if they pick us up,
we'll go back to jail

392
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,128
because they think
we hate America.

393
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,465
l don't want to
end up like Elmo,
hanging himself in prison.

394
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,719
Mes amis,
we hate America, too!

395
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,346
Come to France

396
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,767
and we shall mock the country
that saved us
twice from the Germans!

397
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,562
l've always
wanted to go to France.

398
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,314
Your women don't age.
Like Catherine Deneuve.

399
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,317
Eh, you wait till
you see her up close,
then you tell me.

400
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,364
Maman,
please pass the baguette.

401
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:02,075
The food is so
delicious here.

402
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,452
And these Chanel suits
are five for a dollar.

403
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,788
l'm using
a jacket as a napkin !

404
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:13,253
And here no one
calls me a fat jerk!
l'm a gourmand !

405
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,633
And yet l miss America.

406
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,427
l miss America, too.

407
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,555
The United States
has its grandeur
and its follies,

408
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,308
but mostly,
it's the place
where all our stuff is.

409
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,270
l wish we could go back.
But l don't think
we're welcome there.

410
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:34,399
No, Marge,
there's one group that's
always welcome in America,

411
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,359
immigrants without lDs!

412
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:37,819
(SHlP'S HORN BLASTlNG)

413
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,031
Well, kids,
this is the first chapter

414
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:43,909
of our brand new
lives in America.

415
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,243
Name?
Simpson.

416
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:46,745
From now on,
you're the Simps.

417
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,121
That'll save time.

418
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,332
Now kids, it'll take us
a while to assimilate.

419
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,669
l'll start out as a cop,
and with time,
become a dirty cop.

420
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:58,089
l think l'm going
to like this America.

421
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:01,843
(SlNGlNG)
Everywhere around the worId

422
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,846
They're coming to America

423
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,184
Every time
that fIag's unfurIed

424
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,604
They're coming to America

425
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,358
Got a dream
to take them there

426
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,236
They're coming to America

427
00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,525
English - US - PSDH