1
00:00:02,342 --> 00:00:04,542
Oh, hey, if you guys
are free this weekend,
2
00:00:04,544 --> 00:00:06,378
I won a night of
wine tasting from work.
3
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:07,879
That sounds fun.
Mm-hmm.
4
00:00:07,881 --> 00:00:11,282
How come scientists don't win
free stuff like salespeople do?
5
00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:12,951
'Cause we're not in it
for the stuff.
6
00:00:12,953 --> 00:00:15,654
We're in it
for the groupies.
7
00:00:15,656 --> 00:00:16,921
Personally,
8
00:00:16,923 --> 00:00:19,724
I find the notion of
external rewards demeaning.
9
00:00:19,726 --> 00:00:23,028
I pursue science for the
intrinsic joy of discovery.
10
00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:25,930
But you always say that
you want to win a Nobel Prize.
11
00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:28,400
I also say don't contradict
me in front of my friends,
12
00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:29,668
but that you
don't remember.
13
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,737
All right, well, let me know
if you guys want to go.
14
00:00:32,739 --> 00:00:33,938
I would love to.
15
00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:37,075
I do enjoy the complexity
of an aged Pinot noir.
16
00:00:37,077 --> 00:00:38,376
I'm sure that would pair nicely
17
00:00:38,378 --> 00:00:40,311
with your fried nuggets
of chicken.
18
00:00:42,082 --> 00:00:44,182
Well, it sounds like
a nice night. We should go.
19
00:00:44,184 --> 00:00:45,250
Wine again?
20
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:46,484
Yeah, no, thank you.
21
00:00:46,486 --> 00:00:48,386
I like my grapes
the old-fashioned way:
22
00:00:48,388 --> 00:00:50,722
in a juice box.
23
00:00:50,724 --> 00:00:52,090
Well, I'm going.
24
00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,092
You couldn't stop me from
getting a massage at the mall,
25
00:00:54,094 --> 00:00:55,760
and you're not stopping me now.
26
00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:57,529
I shouldn't have to
see my girlfriend
27
00:00:57,531 --> 00:00:59,364
get groped in public
by another man.
28
00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,933
And I shouldn't
have to see my boyfriend
29
00:01:01,935 --> 00:01:04,569
riding on a train for children
around the mall.
30
00:01:06,173 --> 00:01:08,173
The little choo-choo
for toddlers?
31
00:01:08,175 --> 00:01:10,241
And now you know why
I needed the massage.
32
00:01:11,812 --> 00:01:13,011
Well, we're out.
33
00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:14,813
Bernie can't drink
'cause she's pregnant.
34
00:01:14,815 --> 00:01:16,748
And she's pregnant
because we had sex.
35
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,183
And we had sex because...
36
00:01:18,185 --> 00:01:20,919
well, come on.
37
00:01:21,955 --> 00:01:23,988
It's okay.
You should go.
38
00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:24,956
You sure?
39
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:26,157
Of course.
40
00:01:26,159 --> 00:01:29,928
Yeah, give her a break from,
“Well, come on.”
41
00:01:31,431 --> 00:01:33,798
Well, Bernadette, looks like
Saturday night, it's you and me.
42
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,601
Me? How? Why?
43
00:01:36,603 --> 00:01:38,269
Well, it makes perfect sense.
44
00:01:38,271 --> 00:01:41,072
Because you're an expectant
mother, you can't drink alcohol.
45
00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:42,040
I don't like to.
46
00:01:42,042 --> 00:01:43,408
You can't have sushi.
47
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:44,375
I don't like to.
48
00:01:44,377 --> 00:01:46,010
You can't go in hot tubs.
49
00:01:46,012 --> 00:01:49,180
I consider them
vats of sweaty people soup.
50
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,050
Gee, Sheldon, I don't know.
51
00:01:52,052 --> 00:01:53,451
Oh, come on.
52
00:01:53,453 --> 00:01:55,954
Roller coasters, caffeine,
runny eggs--
53
00:01:55,956 --> 00:01:57,789
I've been avoiding these things
all my life.
54
00:01:57,791 --> 00:02:01,059
And now, because you're
pregnant, you have to.
55
00:02:01,061 --> 00:02:03,194
The difference is she's
bringing life into the world,
56
00:02:03,196 --> 00:02:05,130
and you suck it out.
57
00:02:05,966 --> 00:02:07,932
I guess we could give it a try.
58
00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:10,502
Well, little lady,
you've heard of party hearty;
59
00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:13,104
get ready to party hardly.
60
00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:16,975
I bet you'd like
a drink right now.
61
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:22,247
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
62
00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:25,717
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
63
00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:27,252
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
64
00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:30,221
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
65
00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,490
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
66
00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:35,226
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
67
00:02:35,228 --> 00:02:37,128
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
68
00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,097
♪ Bang! ♪
69
00:02:39,121 --> 00:02:43,121
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x22 ♪
The Fermentation Bifurcation
Original Air Date on
70
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:48,145
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
71
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,869
Hey, you think
it'd be okay
72
00:02:49,871 --> 00:02:51,504
if I brought Claire
to the wine tasting?
73
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:53,305
Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Oh, that's great.
74
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,974
I've been wanting her
to meet you guys, too,
75
00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:56,609
so this seems like
the perfect opportunity.
76
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,110
Oh, but I won't be there.
77
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,445
Funny how that worked out.
78
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,449
Does this mean Emily's not
in the picture anymore?
79
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,517
No, I'm still dating her.
80
00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:05,685
Okay, help me out.
81
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,019
How are you doing this?
82
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,854
Do they know about each other?
83
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,589
They know that
we're not exclusive,
84
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,725
and we just don't ask
too many questions.
85
00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:15,361
You know, it's like how I play
Warlords of Ka'a with you
86
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:19,131
and Elder Sign with
Frank and Alicia.
87
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,701
Who's Frank and Alicia?
88
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,136
Y... You and I spend
a lot of time together.
89
00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:26,739
Can there be a little
mystery between us?
90
00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,507
Okay.
91
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,276
Everything's hooked up.
We're ready.
92
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:33,212
I am going to record
this for posterity.
93
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:34,914
All right, here goes nothing.
94
00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:36,282
Here goes nothing?
95
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,917
This is the initial test
of our prototype.
96
00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,518
Can we give it
a little more gravitas?
97
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,686
Fine.
98
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,489
Preliminary trial
of the infinite persistence
99
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:46,559
gyroscopic navigational system:
phase one commencing.
100
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,927
Eh... maybe it's your voice.
101
00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:50,763
I'm gonna see if I can get James
Earl Jones to do it in post.
102
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,969
Ooh.
103
00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:00,473
Wow.
104
00:04:00,475 --> 00:04:03,109
It's... it's-it's beautiful.
105
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,346
Actually,
it's making me dizzy.
106
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,049
Good, it's not just me.
107
00:04:15,223 --> 00:04:16,388
Hello.
108
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,423
Hey, Claire.
109
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,390
Hey, what's up?
110
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,125
Hi, yeah.
111
00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:20,626
Um, I was wondering,
112
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,795
if you're free Saturday night,
113
00:04:22,797 --> 00:04:25,097
all my friends are
going to a wine tasting.
114
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,500
Sure, I guess.
115
00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,169
If you don't think meeting
your friends is too big a step.
116
00:04:30,171 --> 00:04:32,705
Why would it be too big a step?
117
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,875
I don't know. I just don't
want things to get weird.
118
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,944
Nothing to worry about.
119
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,379
People meet people all the time,
120
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,847
and it isn't weird.
121
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:44,383
I met Bon Jovi once, which
you'd think might be weird.
122
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,353
Turns out, total sweetheart.
123
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:51,524
Okay, but you and I have been
keeping things casual.
124
00:04:51,526 --> 00:04:53,559
Uh, will you introduce me
as your friend
125
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,727
or as your girlfriend?
126
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,295
What if I like them
127
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,429
and they don't like me?
128
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,532
What if they like me
and I don't like them?
129
00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:02,368
Boy, it wasn't this hard
with Bon Jovi.
130
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,403
I said, “You rock,”
he said, “Thanks, man,”
131
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,273
and that was that.
132
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,015
Hey, you ready to go?
133
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,950
Hang on.
What are you doing?
134
00:05:17,952 --> 00:05:21,787
Oh, I found a scratch-and-sniff
book about wine tasting.
135
00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,957
It teaches the different
flavor notes to look for.
136
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,559
You actually smell the wine?
137
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:29,128
I mostly just smell
my nasal spray.
138
00:05:29,130 --> 00:05:31,197
Are your sinuses acting up?
139
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,898
Since my preschool got a bunny.
140
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,935
Hey, are you still hanging out
with Bernadette tonight?
141
00:05:35,937 --> 00:05:37,269
Yes.
142
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,305
And we're going to prove
that we don't need alcohol
143
00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,339
to enjoy ourselves.
144
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,674
Oh, good for you.
145
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:43,609
Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi,
146
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:46,278
soft cheese, processed meats
and Jacuzzis,
147
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,881
which can all be harmful
to an unborn baby.
148
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:52,351
No HoneyBaked Ham
in a hot tub-- got it.
149
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,686
Oh, no bubble baths either.
150
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,821
They can increase the risk
of a urinary tract infection.
151
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,089
Okay, have fun.
152
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,992
Oh, and no swordfish, king
mackerel, shark or tilefish,
153
00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,527
which are all high in mercury.
154
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:02,661
We're leaving now!
155
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,863
Oh, and no contact with
guinea pigs
156
00:06:03,865 --> 00:06:05,164
or hamsters or their droppings,
157
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:08,467
uh, no-no cat litter boxes,
no paint fumes...
158
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,970
Okay, we're leaving,
love you, bye!
159
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,840
Boy, do I love restrictions.
160
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,477
Hey.
161
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,511
Where is everybody?
162
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,146
Oh, we're the first ones here.
163
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,915
Oh.
164
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:25,017
Cool.
165
00:06:25,019 --> 00:06:26,785
Yeah.
166
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,220
Cool.
167
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,028
You know, I don't
remember the last time
168
00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:37,796
it was just you and me
hanging out.
169
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,766
Oh, I do.
It was three years ago.
170
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:44,203
Oh, yeah, and we said
we should do it more often.
171
00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:46,939
And-and here we are.
172
00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:56,682
So, Sheldon and Bernadette
are hanging out.
173
00:06:56,684 --> 00:07:00,052
I know. What are they
gonna talk about?
174
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,622
I don't know.
175
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,992
I really don't know.
176
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:07,927
Hey.
177
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:09,495
Oh, good!
Oh, thank God!
178
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,764
You guys been here long?
179
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:12,798
No, two minutes.
180
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,601
But yes.
181
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,635
Where's Claire?
182
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,070
Oh, she's meeting us here.
183
00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:20,339
Hey, guys, do me a favor
and don't ask too many questions
184
00:07:20,341 --> 00:07:21,307
about the relationship.
185
00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:22,875
We're just keeping it casual.
186
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,611
Oh, so I shouldn't ask her
how she feels about being
187
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,780
a member of your harem?
188
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:30,849
Yeah, I know you're teasing,
but watch out for karma.
189
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,585
Hey, Penny, isn't that
your old boyfriend Zack?
190
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,654
Oh, yeah.
191
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,122
Are you gonna
say hi to him?
192
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,257
Uh, I don't know.
193
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:39,258
Hey, while you decide,
194
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,526
who was better in bed:
195
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:43,963
big hot Zack
or wheezy little Leonard?
196
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,101
Neener neener.
197
00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:51,870
I brought sparkling cider.
198
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:55,074
Oh... the bubbles
tickle my nose.
199
00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,509
I'll just open this now
so it can get
200
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,112
nice and flat
before we drink it.
201
00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,114
So what do you want
to do tonight?
202
00:08:02,116 --> 00:08:04,350
Oh, I have quite
the evening planned.
203
00:08:04,352 --> 00:08:07,653
Our fetus-friendly
festival of fun begins
204
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,954
with an in-depth look
205
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,889
at the world of model trains,
206
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,192
and then we'll kick things
up a notch and explore
207
00:08:13,194 --> 00:08:16,328
all the different ways
that you can make toast.
208
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,297
There's more than one?
209
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,133
You've heard of French toast?
Yeah.
210
00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:22,401
Cinnamon toast?
Yeah.
211
00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:23,635
Melba toast?
Yeah.
212
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,871
You get where I'm going here?
213
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,374
Yeah.
214
00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:33,312
I'm getting
an earthy note.
215
00:08:33,314 --> 00:08:35,247
Ah, there's
definitely some oak.
216
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,516
Also, uh, cherries?
217
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,451
I smell nothing.
218
00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:43,022
Really? Nothing?
219
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:46,625
Just a... whole lot of Afrin.
220
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,360
Penny?
221
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,595
Oh. Zack, hi!
222
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,863
You guys remember Zack.
223
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:51,997
Yeah, hey, buddy.
- Hello. - Hey.
224
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,866
Hey, did you two
get married?
225
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,167
We did.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
226
00:08:55,169 --> 00:08:57,403
To each other?
227
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,105
Yes.
228
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,307
Cool. 'Cause other than
when you broke up with him
229
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,009
and dated me, then
broke up with me,
230
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,945
and then dated me one more
time before going back to him,
231
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,914
I was always rooting
for you two.
232
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,549
Thanks.
233
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,051
So how's the
science world?
234
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,485
What are you
guys up to?
235
00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,888
W-We've actually been
working on a prototype
236
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,423
for a navigation
system we invented.
237
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,224
But we won't bore you
with the details.
238
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,393
Are you kidding?
I love science.
239
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,997
Einstein, Stephen Hawking,
Mike deGrasse Tyson.
240
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,000
Mike deGrasse Tyson?
241
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,702
Yeah, you know,
the boxer who grew a mustache
242
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,305
and became a scientist.
243
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:34,573
So what's your
invention?
244
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:37,776
Well, we're using
quantum vortices
245
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,978
to replace gyroscopes
in guidance systems.
246
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,680
What's neat is
that they can maintain
247
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,348
angular momentum indefinitely.
248
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,551
Angular momentum.
249
00:09:45,553 --> 00:09:48,020
I was wondering about that.
250
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,790
You could put it in a
satellite or a rocket,
251
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,559
and it'll run forever.
252
00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:54,827
Cool.
253
00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:57,196
Could it be used for
missiles and war stuff?
254
00:09:57,198 --> 00:10:00,432
Yeah, but we didn't
create it for weapons.
255
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,434
And I doubt the military
would be interested
256
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,802
in our little
guidance system.
257
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,404
Is it better than
the one they use now?
258
00:10:05,406 --> 00:10:08,207
A lot!
Way better.
259
00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:09,942
Huh.
260
00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,478
You sure you guys are smart?
261
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:20,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
262
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:24,586
“H-O” gauge trains
are 1/87 scale.
263
00:10:24,588 --> 00:10:27,789
“N” gauge are
1/160 scale.
264
00:10:27,791 --> 00:10:30,459
And that brings us
to “Z” gauge, at a
265
00:10:30,461 --> 00:10:35,264
“you could easily swallow it,
don't ask how I know,” 1/220.
266
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:37,432
I'm sorry, I have to ask.
267
00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:40,569
When I was five, I ingested
a “Z” gauge locomotive.
268
00:10:40,571 --> 00:10:43,005
I spent the next three days
saying, “I think I can pass it,
269
00:10:43,007 --> 00:10:46,742
I think I can pass it,
I think I can pass it.”
270
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,979
What is it about trains
that you like so much?
271
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:53,148
What an interesting
question.
272
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:56,118
When I was a child,
life was confusing
273
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,121
and chaotic for me, and
trains represented order.
274
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:03,158
I could line them up,
categorize them, control them.
275
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,660
I guess you
could say that
276
00:11:04,662 --> 00:11:08,096
they gave me a sense of calm
in a world that didn't.
277
00:11:08,098 --> 00:11:10,165
That's lovely, Sheldon.
278
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,868
Well... other than when they're
chugging through your bowels,
279
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,703
these things are magic.
280
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:19,675
I have to admit,
I've been worried about
281
00:11:19,677 --> 00:11:22,678
the military applications since
we started talking about this.
282
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,046
Me, too.
283
00:11:24,048 --> 00:11:25,380
Why didn't you
say something?
284
00:11:25,382 --> 00:11:27,816
Same reason I don't
talk about ass cancer.
285
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:30,786
It's not a
pleasant topic.
286
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:32,354
You can't let this stop you.
287
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:34,389
Almost any scientific
advancement can be used
288
00:11:34,391 --> 00:11:36,091
for destructive purposes.
289
00:11:36,093 --> 00:11:38,126
It's true. Even Einstein's
theory of relativity
290
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:40,796
was later applied to the
development of nuclear weapons.
291
00:11:40,798 --> 00:11:42,631
E equals MC squared.
292
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:43,999
Yeah.
293
00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:45,334
“E” is for energy,
“M” for mass,
294
00:11:45,336 --> 00:11:46,768
and “C” for the speed of light.
295
00:11:48,939 --> 00:11:50,505
How do you know that?
296
00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:54,109
Oh, Leonard mumbles it when
he wants sex to last longer.
297
00:11:57,214 --> 00:11:58,180
Hey, Raj.
298
00:11:58,182 --> 00:12:00,248
Hey, Claire.
Good, you're here.
299
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,117
Guys, this is
my friend Claire.
300
00:12:02,119 --> 00:12:04,319
We're casually dating,
and there's no need
301
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,755
for any further questions
about it.
302
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:09,825
Would you like
a glass of wine?
303
00:12:09,827 --> 00:12:11,593
I said no questions!
304
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:15,931
And last
but not least,
305
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:19,935
this is one that I like to call
Star Wars Toast because...
306
00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:24,272
it has a light side
and a dark side.
307
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:29,277
All righty, it's time for
Dungeons & Dragons!
308
00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,647
Dungeons & Dragons.
309
00:12:31,649 --> 00:12:32,981
That sounds about right.
310
00:12:32,983 --> 00:12:35,517
You're gonna
enjoy this.
311
00:12:35,519 --> 00:12:38,253
I designed it
especially for you.
312
00:12:38,255 --> 00:12:39,888
Okay, but just for a little bit.
313
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,590
Oh, I have a feeling
that once you start,
314
00:12:41,592 --> 00:12:44,393
you're not gonna want to
or be allowed to stop.
315
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,229
All right.
316
00:12:47,231 --> 00:12:48,230
Ready?
317
00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:49,998
You bet.
318
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,633
Your name is
319
00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:52,734
Bernatrix.
320
00:12:52,736 --> 00:12:54,036
You are a warrior queen.
321
00:12:54,038 --> 00:12:56,905
You're strong,
beautiful and tall.
322
00:12:56,907 --> 00:13:00,709
Oh. I like the idea
of being tall.
323
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:03,145
I think you're gonna like
a lot of things I have in store.
324
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,747
For example, in this world,
only the men get pregnant,
325
00:13:05,749 --> 00:13:10,485
so your husband is home trying
not to pee when he laughs.
326
00:13:10,487 --> 00:13:12,454
This is getting fun.
What's next?
327
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:14,623
You're parched and weary
from battle.
328
00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:17,893
You stand in front of a tavern
that serves the coldest,
329
00:13:17,895 --> 00:13:20,195
most delicious ale
in all the realm.
330
00:13:20,197 --> 00:13:22,564
Oh, I haven't had
a drink in months.
331
00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:24,299
What do you do?
332
00:13:24,301 --> 00:13:27,302
I storm in, slam my sword down,
333
00:13:27,304 --> 00:13:29,838
and say, “Barkeep, bring me
the strongest ale you have
334
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,174
and serve it in
the skull of a goblin!”
335
00:13:35,112 --> 00:13:37,679
He wants to see I.D.
336
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,552
So, Claire, we've heard so many
wonderful things about you.
337
00:13:43,554 --> 00:13:46,054
Really? Like what?
338
00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:50,358
Uh, mostly Penny's
heard them.
339
00:13:52,196 --> 00:13:54,930
Boy, you get some
dirty looks over there
340
00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:56,965
when you ask for ice.
341
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,335
Zack, this is
my friend Claire.
342
00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:02,838
You're hot. You seeing anybody?
343
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,940
Uh, she's seeing me.
344
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:06,174
Why'd you say she's your friend?
345
00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:07,409
We're just
keeping it casual.
346
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:09,644
Why is he being casual with you?
You seem great.
347
00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:11,046
I don't know. Ask him.
348
00:14:11,048 --> 00:14:13,415
Why are you being casual
with her? She seems great.
349
00:14:21,358 --> 00:14:23,725
Maybe we should
take a step back.
350
00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:25,260
Take a step back?
351
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:27,362
I'm not a young man anymore.
352
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:32,267
No, I mean reevaluate what we're
doing with the guidance system.
353
00:14:32,269 --> 00:14:34,836
But I got a baby
on the way.
354
00:14:34,838 --> 00:14:36,404
I got to make some money.
355
00:14:36,406 --> 00:14:37,939
What good is
money gonna do
356
00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:39,641
if we inadvertently
bring about Armageddon?
357
00:14:39,643 --> 00:14:41,409
Okay, let me stop you
right there.
358
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:42,644
We absolutely know
359
00:14:42,646 --> 00:14:45,747
our invention will not be used
to destroy the world.
360
00:14:45,749 --> 00:14:46,815
How?
361
00:14:46,817 --> 00:14:48,183
Because no one from the future
362
00:14:48,185 --> 00:14:50,318
has come back to kill us.
363
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:53,522
Very funny.
364
00:14:53,524 --> 00:14:54,956
You got something better?
365
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:56,291
Well, not really.
366
00:14:56,293 --> 00:14:57,893
Okay, then.
367
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,066
Geez, how much wine
did you drink?
368
00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:08,804
Not a lot. I just couldn't
start until you walked away.
369
00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:14,876
The Hell Prawn lunges
out of the hot spring!
370
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:18,180
You block it with your shield.
371
00:15:18,182 --> 00:15:19,181
Do you attack?
372
00:15:19,183 --> 00:15:20,315
Does it have eyes?
373
00:15:20,317 --> 00:15:22,851
Three giant red ones
and they never blink.
374
00:15:22,853 --> 00:15:24,486
It's unsettling.
375
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,022
I stab it in the middle eye!
376
00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:29,324
Good choice!
377
00:15:29,326 --> 00:15:30,926
Critical hit!
Your sword goes
378
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:33,094
through its eye
into its tiny brain.
379
00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:35,397
With its final dying gasp,
it says,
380
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:36,932
“You have reduced me
381
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,867
“to a pile of sushi.
382
00:15:38,869 --> 00:15:40,535
“Enjoy me
383
00:15:40,537 --> 00:15:43,471
“with this packet of soy sauce.
384
00:15:43,473 --> 00:15:46,141
It's low sodium.”
385
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,911
Okay, I guess I should
eat the Hell Prawn.
386
00:15:49,913 --> 00:15:50,879
Using your sword,
387
00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:53,181
you prepare a beautiful
sushi dinner.
388
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:56,351
You slip into the hot spring
and enjoy the warm water
389
00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:57,485
on your aching joints.
390
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:58,753
As you happily
close your eyes,
391
00:15:58,755 --> 00:16:01,056
you recall the incredible
evening you've had
392
00:16:01,058 --> 00:16:02,490
and notice that your...
393
00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:08,263
...feet and ankles are
smaller than they've ever been.
394
00:16:08,265 --> 00:16:09,931
The end.
395
00:16:09,933 --> 00:16:13,702
Wow, this night turned out to be
so much more fun than I thought.
396
00:16:13,704 --> 00:16:15,036
Oh, the fun doesn't stop.
397
00:16:15,038 --> 00:16:17,505
You're still going home
with a goodie bag full of toast.
398
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,477
Thank you for this.
399
00:16:22,479 --> 00:16:25,180
You know, ever since people
found out I'm having a baby,
400
00:16:25,182 --> 00:16:27,983
I feel like I became
Pregnant Bernadette.
401
00:16:27,985 --> 00:16:30,118
It was nice to take
a little break tonight.
402
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,254
I can understand that.
403
00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:34,623
From the moment
people realized I was a genius,
404
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:36,424
I've been Sheldon the Genius.
405
00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:40,161
Although I've never really
wanted a break from that,
406
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:41,796
so I suppose I don't understand.
407
00:16:41,798 --> 00:16:43,531
Which is ironic
408
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,533
'cause, you know, genius.
409
00:16:47,738 --> 00:16:49,537
Well, thanks again.
410
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:50,639
You're welcome.
411
00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,073
And any time you need a break
412
00:16:52,075 --> 00:16:53,475
from being
Bernadette the Pregnant,
413
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,677
Bernatrix the Warrior Queen
is here waiting.
414
00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:57,646
I might just take
you up on that.
415
00:16:57,648 --> 00:16:58,980
Well, mind you now,
416
00:16:58,982 --> 00:17:01,416
that offer's only good
until the third trimester.
417
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:05,153
I can't risk getting
amniotic fluid on my spot.
418
00:17:07,257 --> 00:17:10,692
Hey, dude, you're
killing me with Claire.
419
00:17:10,694 --> 00:17:11,760
What are you talking about?
420
00:17:11,762 --> 00:17:14,329
I mean,
come on, look at you.
421
00:17:14,331 --> 00:17:17,365
You're classically handsome,
you've got a swimmer's body.
422
00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:20,568
Next to you,
I look like me.
423
00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:23,638
Oh, man,
I didn't mean to do that.
424
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,675
But I do appreciate you
recognizing my swimmer's body.
425
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:28,910
Which, incidentally,
426
00:17:28,912 --> 00:17:31,980
I got from playing
Marco Polo at the YMCA.
427
00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:36,751
Yeah, okay, just...
do me a favor
428
00:17:36,753 --> 00:17:39,554
and stop talking about
how great Claire is.
429
00:17:39,556 --> 00:17:42,724
Anything for you,
my little foreign friend.
430
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:45,360
So, I got to ask,
431
00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:47,429
does Raj bring around
other girls?
432
00:17:48,298 --> 00:17:49,798
Uh, you know,
433
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,000
I-I'm not really
around that much.
434
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:54,035
Amy knows much more
than I do.
435
00:17:55,439 --> 00:17:57,172
I don't think you have
anything to worry about.
436
00:17:57,174 --> 00:17:59,841
Raj is a terrific guy,
loyal to a fault.
437
00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:03,011
Yeah. He still has
an AOL address.
438
00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:05,914
I see what you're saying.
439
00:18:05,916 --> 00:18:08,917
She's not so great.
440
00:18:12,756 --> 00:18:14,656
Don't listen to him.
441
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,524
He says crazy things
all the time.
442
00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,525
Uh, watch. Marco.
443
00:18:17,527 --> 00:18:19,260
Polo!
444
00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:24,299
So, uh, what are
you guys talking about?
445
00:18:24,301 --> 00:18:26,267
Your friends were
just telling me about
446
00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:27,869
all the other girls
you're dating.
447
00:18:27,871 --> 00:18:30,305
Why would you do that?
448
00:18:30,307 --> 00:18:32,974
I specifically asked you
not to do that.
449
00:18:32,976 --> 00:18:34,242
We didn't.
450
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:35,510
You just did.
451
00:18:38,048 --> 00:18:41,549
Wow. Maybe none of
you guys are smart.
452
00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:53,825
Morning.
453
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:55,026
Morning.
454
00:18:55,028 --> 00:18:57,060
Ugh. Too much wine.
455
00:18:57,061 --> 00:18:58,327
Oh, I overdid it
456
00:18:58,329 --> 00:18:59,628
myself last night.
457
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:01,263
Hair of the dog.
458
00:19:02,867 --> 00:19:06,001
Hey, did you ever think about
the military applications
459
00:19:06,003 --> 00:19:07,570
for the guidance system?
460
00:19:07,572 --> 00:19:09,338
Of course.
461
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:10,673
Does it bother you?
462
00:19:11,509 --> 00:19:13,309
No, it did at first,
463
00:19:13,311 --> 00:19:16,879
but then I talked it through
with Frank and Alicia, and...
464
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:22,852
...they really helped
put things into perspective.
465
00:19:22,854 --> 00:19:25,688
Who are these people?
466
00:19:25,690 --> 00:19:30,626
Leonard, friends are
like toilet paper.
467
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,596
It's good to have extras
under the sink.
468
00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:44,708
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
468
00:19:45,305 --> 00:20:45,825
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