1
00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:04,469
SHELDON: I'm glad to see
you made it safely.
2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:05,904
How's your hotel?
3
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:09,141
It's not the best Best Western
I've been to,
4
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:10,876
but I'd say it's...
5
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,879
the third best Best Western
I've been to.
6
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,514
I know how you feel.
7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:19,518
The Best Buy by my house
is only the third best Best Buy.
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,253
They have
the best buys,
9
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,989
but having the best buys
isn't the only thing
10
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:27,292
that makes a Best Buy
the best Best Buy.
11
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:32,030
What makes a best Best Buy
the best Best Buy?
12
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,332
Mm, that's a great question.
13
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,901
I like when they're
next to a Chipotle.
14
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,738
Okay, well, I should unpack.
15
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,706
All right.
16
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,608
Enjoy the neurobiology
conference.
17
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:43,775
I will.
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,378
I... wish you were here.
19
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,380
At a neurobiology conference?
20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,549
What a mean thing to say.
21
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:55,153
Okay, I'm glad you're not here?
22
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,155
Aw, you always know
just what to say
23
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,258
after I tell you what to say.
24
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,727
Good-bye, Sheldon.
25
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,061
Bye.
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,863
Oh! Good news, gentlemen.
27
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,732
Amy's at a conference
this weekend,
28
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:10,202
which means I'm available
to be entertained, hmm.
29
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:14,840
As today's youth might put it:
Who wants to get their Sheld-on?
30
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,943
Bernie and I are getting
the house ready for the remodel.
31
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,045
We could always use
an extra pair of hands.
32
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,347
That sounds awful. Raj?
33
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:25,117
Uh, I've got time booked in
the telescope room all weekend
34
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,218
scanning for rogue planets.
35
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,920
You're more than welcome
to join me.
36
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,888
That's the one to beat.
Leonard?
37
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:33,492
Oh, if anything,
I'm trying to get my Sheld-off.
38
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,961
Well, then it looks like we have
a winner. Congratulations.
39
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,697
Well, I should warn you,
it's just looking at data
40
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,933
for hours and hours
on a computer screen.
41
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:43,201
Uh, stop selling it, kid.
You won.
42
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:47,940
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
43
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:51,276
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
44
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,878
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
45
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,447
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
46
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,116
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
47
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,786
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
48
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,688
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
49
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,232
♪ Bang! ♪
50
00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:08,233
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x12 ♪
The Sales Call Sublimation
Original Air Date on January 7
51
00:02:08,234 --> 00:02:13,234
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
52
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:14,115
Hey.
53
00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,355
Hey.
Hello. - Hi.
54
00:02:15,356 --> 00:02:16,522
How was your day?
55
00:02:16,524 --> 00:02:17,623
Oh, not good.
56
00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:19,825
Still couldn't get in
to see Dr. Gallo.
57
00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:21,427
A doctor?
58
00:02:22,397 --> 00:02:23,863
Well, I hope
you're not contagious.
59
00:02:23,865 --> 00:02:25,931
I've got a weekend
in the telescope room
60
00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:28,601
I've been excited about
for almost three minutes.
61
00:02:30,204 --> 00:02:31,470
I'm not sick.
It's for work.
62
00:02:31,472 --> 00:02:33,806
There's this doctor who refuses
to see any sales reps.
63
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,441
I've been trying
to get in for months.
64
00:02:35,443 --> 00:02:36,976
Well, did you try
wearing the shirt
65
00:02:36,978 --> 00:02:38,611
I said was
inappropriate for work?
66
00:02:38,613 --> 00:02:41,447
Well, the doctor's a woman,
but...
67
00:02:41,449 --> 00:02:43,649
yes, because
you never know.
68
00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:46,085
What kind of doctor
is she?
69
00:02:46,087 --> 00:02:48,087
Um, a psychiatrist. Why?
70
00:02:48,089 --> 00:02:50,489
Well, what if you make
an appointment as a patient?
71
00:02:50,491 --> 00:02:52,224
Then you'll get to talk to her.
72
00:02:52,226 --> 00:02:54,326
Yeah, they already know
I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
73
00:02:54,328 --> 00:02:56,028
Oh. What if Leonard
made an appointment
74
00:02:56,030 --> 00:02:58,063
and tried to lay some
groundwork for you?
75
00:02:58,065 --> 00:02:59,498
That's interesting.
76
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,267
I'm not gonna make
a fake appointment
77
00:03:01,269 --> 00:03:02,234
with a psychiatrist.
78
00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:04,003
What would I say
is wrong with me?
79
00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,538
Low self-esteem.
Social anxiety.
80
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:07,873
Sexual insecurity.
81
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:10,309
None of that is true.
82
00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:13,145
Uh, denial. See, sweetie,
the list goes on and on.
83
00:03:13,147 --> 00:03:14,680
That's just crazy.
84
00:03:14,682 --> 00:03:16,782
How would my going in there
even help you?
85
00:03:16,784 --> 00:03:19,084
I don't know. You could talk to
her, and maybe if it comes up,
86
00:03:19,086 --> 00:03:20,486
you could ask if she's heard
about the drug.
87
00:03:20,488 --> 00:03:21,720
What if I get caught?
88
00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:23,155
Fear of failure!
Lack of confidence!
89
00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:25,057
Kind of a wuss!
90
00:03:26,527 --> 00:03:27,726
Fine, I'll do it.
91
00:03:27,728 --> 00:03:30,262
But not because of them,
because I love you.
92
00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:30,996
Thank you.
93
00:03:30,998 --> 00:03:32,198
Pushover.
Spineless.
94
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,098
Still hasn't bought milk
95
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,034
even though I told him
two days ago!
96
00:03:39,941 --> 00:03:41,907
That was incredible.
97
00:03:41,909 --> 00:03:43,409
It was.
98
00:03:43,411 --> 00:03:45,411
I just wish Stuart
wasn't around
99
00:03:45,413 --> 00:03:47,480
so we didn't have
to be so quiet.
100
00:03:47,482 --> 00:03:48,914
I know.
101
00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:50,649
It's not like
he returns the favor
102
00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:54,153
when he watches
his Japanese porn cartoons.
103
00:03:55,323 --> 00:03:57,223
(knocking)
STUART: You guys got a minute,
104
00:03:57,225 --> 00:03:58,791
or are you
still cuddling?
105
00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:00,226
(mouthing)
106
00:04:00,228 --> 00:04:01,760
What is it, Stuart?
107
00:04:01,762 --> 00:04:03,429
STUART:
Can I come in?
108
00:04:03,431 --> 00:04:04,730
Hang on.
109
00:04:04,732 --> 00:04:06,765
(quietly):
Should I send him away?
110
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:08,000
No, it's okay.
111
00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:10,536
STUART:
Thanks, Bernie.
112
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:14,406
What's up?
113
00:04:14,408 --> 00:04:16,075
Uh, well, I know
114
00:04:16,077 --> 00:04:18,511
the remodel is coming up,
so I thought I'd make it easy
115
00:04:18,513 --> 00:04:20,779
on you guys
and find my own place.
116
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:22,648
Wow. (chuckles)
117
00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:25,718
I thought I was done
getting lucky tonight.
118
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,053
So, when are you
thinking of moving?
119
00:04:28,055 --> 00:04:29,855
Uh, actually,
I already found an apartment,
120
00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:31,457
so in a couple of days.
121
00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:34,660
Oh. Okay.
122
00:04:34,662 --> 00:04:37,229
Sorry to see you go?
123
00:04:37,231 --> 00:04:40,900
Okay, well,
thank you guys for everything.
124
00:04:40,902 --> 00:04:42,835
I-I really appreciate it.
125
00:04:42,837 --> 00:04:43,969
You're very welcome.
126
00:04:46,841 --> 00:04:47,873
Hmm.
127
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,642
What?
128
00:04:49,644 --> 00:04:53,312
Hmm, I just have never been
in this room while you're awake.
129
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:57,850
(door closes)
130
00:05:03,791 --> 00:05:05,891
What are you doing?
131
00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:09,695
Uh, making sure the telescope's
camera is white-field balanced.
132
00:05:09,697 --> 00:05:11,463
Hmm.
133
00:05:11,465 --> 00:05:13,432
What are you doing now?
134
00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:15,901
Still making sure
the telescope's camera
135
00:05:15,903 --> 00:05:18,938
is white-field balanced.
Oh, I see.
136
00:05:22,643 --> 00:05:24,610
How about now?
137
00:05:24,612 --> 00:05:27,279
Now I'm making sure
the telescope's camera
138
00:05:27,281 --> 00:05:30,349
is white-field balanced and
wishing you had a coloring book.
139
00:05:30,351 --> 00:05:32,785
Well, I can be helpful.
140
00:05:32,787 --> 00:05:34,253
Give me something to do.
141
00:05:34,255 --> 00:05:36,522
You know, my father
took me to work once,
142
00:05:36,524 --> 00:05:38,157
and in ten minutes
I figured out
143
00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:39,858
who'd been stealing
from the cash register.
144
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:40,960
It was my father.
145
00:05:40,962 --> 00:05:43,462
Yeah, Dad lost his job,
146
00:05:43,464 --> 00:05:47,132
but Mr. Hinckley
gave me a Fudgsicle.
147
00:05:47,134 --> 00:05:49,468
Fine, you want
something to do?
148
00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:52,705
There's about six months
of data on this hard drive.
149
00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:54,773
Why don't you go through it
and see if you can spot
150
00:05:54,775 --> 00:05:55,808
any patterns or anomalies.
151
00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:58,077
Yep, I'm on it.
Hey, look at that!
152
00:05:58,079 --> 00:06:02,281
An Indian guy outsourcing
a computer job to a white fella.
153
00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:04,783
Yeah, okay,
whatever it takes
154
00:06:04,785 --> 00:06:06,619
to keep you busy
for a few hours.
155
00:06:06,621 --> 00:06:09,455
Found one.
156
00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:10,556
No, you didn't.
157
00:06:10,558 --> 00:06:13,125
There are millions
of data points there.
158
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:15,861
But, look, an
optical transient.
159
00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:17,463
Yeah, maybe
that is something.
160
00:06:17,465 --> 00:06:19,765
How did you find that?
It wasn't difficult.
161
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:23,002
You know how when you see
prime numbers, they appear red,
162
00:06:23,004 --> 00:06:24,637
but when they're
twin primes,
163
00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:26,739
they're pink and
smell like gasoline?
164
00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:29,708
No.
165
00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:32,911
Oh. I guess I'm
a special boy.
166
00:06:32,913 --> 00:06:35,614
You know, sometimes
when a boy is special,
167
00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:37,549
he gets a Fudgsicle.
168
00:06:37,551 --> 00:06:40,719
Which, by the way, tastes
like the speed of light.
169
00:06:43,424 --> 00:06:45,824
Thank you for seeing me
on such short notice.
170
00:06:45,826 --> 00:06:47,226
Ah, it's my pleasure.
171
00:06:47,228 --> 00:06:48,227
I'm curious,
172
00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:51,063
are you related
to Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?
173
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:53,565
Uh, she's my mother.
You know her?
174
00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:54,667
No, not personally,
175
00:06:54,669 --> 00:06:56,669
but I have read
all of her books.
176
00:06:56,671 --> 00:06:58,804
Well, then you know her
better than I do.
177
00:06:58,806 --> 00:07:00,706
Well, I'm not so sure
about that.
178
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,108
But I can tell you
I do not agree
179
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,944
with her theories
on child rearing at all.
180
00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:08,147
Really?
181
00:07:08,149 --> 00:07:10,883
Any chance you find them
cold, cruel and unsuitable
182
00:07:10,885 --> 00:07:14,386
for innocent little boys
who just want to be happy?
183
00:07:14,388 --> 00:07:15,821
Well, I didn't want to say it...
184
00:07:15,823 --> 00:07:17,289
No, no, say it. Sing it.
185
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:20,325
Rent a plane,
write it in the sky.
186
00:07:20,327 --> 00:07:21,794
Sounds like you're holding on
187
00:07:21,796 --> 00:07:24,329
to quite a bit of anger
towards her.
188
00:07:24,331 --> 00:07:25,364
Oh, no,
I-I've worked through
189
00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:26,765
a lot of that stuff;
I'm better now.
190
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:27,800
Mm. Good for you.
191
00:07:27,802 --> 00:07:29,234
Do you know she never let me
192
00:07:29,236 --> 00:07:30,936
celebrate my birthday
because being born
193
00:07:30,938 --> 00:07:33,939
was her achievement, not mine?
194
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:35,174
That's heartbreaking.
195
00:07:35,176 --> 00:07:38,477
Right? To this day,
I send her a card every year
196
00:07:38,479 --> 00:07:41,080
with a little money in it.
197
00:07:42,249 --> 00:07:45,584
You know, once we get
the house back to ourselves,
198
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:48,587
we can be romantic
in any room we want.
199
00:07:48,589 --> 00:07:51,890
Great. I can finally show you
where the laundry room is.
200
00:07:53,761 --> 00:07:55,694
Boy, who
would've thought
201
00:07:55,696 --> 00:07:58,430
when you asked me to move in
and help take care of your mom,
202
00:07:58,432 --> 00:07:59,932
I'd still be here
two years later?
203
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,801
Nobody thought that.
No one.
204
00:08:04,171 --> 00:08:05,704
Well, that's it.
205
00:08:05,706 --> 00:08:07,339
I guess so.
206
00:08:09,043 --> 00:08:11,410
This is weird.
(chuckles)
207
00:08:11,412 --> 00:08:15,347
Yeah. A grown man moving
into his own apartment.
208
00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:17,249
Crazy times. See ya!
209
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,853
Ignore him.
210
00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:23,055
He's just using humor
to express how...
211
00:08:23,057 --> 00:08:25,190
happy he is.
212
00:08:25,192 --> 00:08:27,593
It's okay. I know he loves me.
213
00:08:27,595 --> 00:08:29,595
Sure he does.
214
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,867
Well, let us know
when you're all settled in.
215
00:08:34,869 --> 00:08:38,637
I will. And I really can't
thank you guys enough.
216
00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:40,372
(engine starts)
Our pleasure.
217
00:08:40,374 --> 00:08:42,708
Bye.
Bye.
218
00:08:44,879 --> 00:08:46,345
WOLOWITZ:
He's gone!
219
00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:48,881
Let's start in the garage!
220
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:04,238
Okay, so once we receive
the next image
221
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,174
and compare it to the ones
we've already collected,
222
00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:07,809
we'll know what it is
that we found.
223
00:09:07,811 --> 00:09:11,612
Ooh, perhaps it's a
Heliosheath scintillation.
224
00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:13,915
It could be
a trans-Neptunian object.
225
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:15,917
Maybe it's a new planet.
226
00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,319
Unlikely, but it could be
a dwarf planet.
227
00:09:18,321 --> 00:09:19,854
Well, as long as it has
a healthy gravity
228
00:09:19,856 --> 00:09:21,422
and all its moons,
I'll be happy.
229
00:09:21,424 --> 00:09:25,393
Okay, the final image
is coming in.
230
00:09:25,395 --> 00:09:27,361
And the object
we discovered is...
231
00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:28,763
Come on,
232
00:09:28,765 --> 00:09:32,767
Daddy needs a livable planet
he can rule with an iron fist.
233
00:09:33,870 --> 00:09:35,436
A medium-sized asteroid.
234
00:09:35,438 --> 00:09:36,838
That's it?
235
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,339
How common.
236
00:09:38,341 --> 00:09:41,876
That's the chicken fingers
on the menu of space.
237
00:09:41,878 --> 00:09:43,644
I kind of like chicken fingers.
238
00:09:43,646 --> 00:09:46,214
Yeah, me, too.
I was stuck for a metaphor.
239
00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:48,549
Come on,
a medium-sized asteroid
240
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:50,484
is still
an interesting discovery.
241
00:09:50,486 --> 00:09:52,186
I suppose it
could end up
242
00:09:52,188 --> 00:09:55,990
on a collision course with Earth
and destroy life as we know it.
243
00:09:55,992 --> 00:09:58,559
You dream different than me.
244
00:10:00,396 --> 00:10:02,096
It is kind of cute.
245
00:10:02,098 --> 00:10:04,265
Yeah, it is.
And you know we get to name it.
246
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:05,399
(gasps)
247
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:07,768
We better choose a name
no one can make fun of.
248
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:11,239
Sir Frederick William Herschel
didn't do Uranus any favors.
249
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:16,844
Hi.
250
00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:18,679
Hey, how'd it go?
Oh, great.
251
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:20,848
Dr. Gallo is terrific.
252
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,216
You know,
I-I've always been insecure
253
00:10:22,218 --> 00:10:24,118
that no one cares
about what I have to say,
254
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,319
but she made me see...
255
00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:28,089
Yeah, no one cares.
Did you help me out or not?
256
00:10:28,091 --> 00:10:30,191
Okay, n-now,
what I'm hearing
257
00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:32,360
is that you feel that
I sometimes take too long
258
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:33,694
to express myself,
259
00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,463
and you wish
I'd be more succinct.
260
00:10:35,465 --> 00:10:36,497
You're only hearing that because
261
00:10:36,499 --> 00:10:38,733
I cannot roll my eyes
any louder.
262
00:10:38,735 --> 00:10:41,802
All right, well, after we talked
about my issues with my mother--
263
00:10:41,804 --> 00:10:44,538
nothing too deep,
just how she ruined my life--
264
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,907
I told her about you
265
00:10:45,909 --> 00:10:48,142
and your drug; she said
she'd be happy to meet you.
266
00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:49,243
Really?
267
00:10:49,245 --> 00:10:51,913
Oh, you're the best
husband ever!
268
00:10:51,915 --> 00:10:55,917
So you'll go to the Doctor Who
convention with me next week?
269
00:10:55,919 --> 00:10:57,485
I guess.
270
00:10:57,487 --> 00:11:01,589
Oh, I actually did hear
your eyes roll that time.
271
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:05,059
(vacuum whirring)
272
00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:07,428
Boy, when was the last time
Stuart cleaned this place?
273
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:08,796
No kidding.
274
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,631
Oh, okay,
I'm about to suck something up.
275
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:12,733
What do you think
this object sounds like?
276
00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:15,970
Howie, I don't want to play
Lego, Toenail or Pill anymore.
277
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,274
So, what do you think we
should do with this room?
278
00:11:20,276 --> 00:11:22,677
Well, I was thinking a
home theater or a gaming room--
279
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:24,912
you know, like a man cave.
280
00:11:24,914 --> 00:11:26,380
Why can't it be a woman cave?
281
00:11:26,382 --> 00:11:28,416
As long as it has a home
theater, a video game system
282
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:29,517
and you're not allowed in it,
283
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:31,752
you can call it
whatever you want.
284
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:33,754
I'm being serious.
285
00:11:33,756 --> 00:11:35,990
Well, what do you think
we should do?
286
00:11:35,992 --> 00:11:37,091
I don't know,
287
00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:39,560
maybe a home office or...
288
00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:41,028
Oh.
289
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,463
Look.
290
00:11:42,465 --> 00:11:45,399
The teddy bear Stuart won the
night we took him to the fair.
291
00:11:45,401 --> 00:11:46,600
(chuckles):
Oh.
292
00:11:47,503 --> 00:11:49,670
He was so excited.
293
00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:50,905
Yeah.
294
00:11:50,907 --> 00:11:52,673
You know, no matter
how hard they tried,
295
00:11:52,675 --> 00:11:55,409
they could not guess his age.
296
00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:58,112
I'll give it to him
next time I see him.
297
00:11:58,114 --> 00:11:59,785
Have you heard from him
since he left?
298
00:11:59,809 --> 00:12:01,003
No.
299
00:12:01,184 --> 00:12:04,051
You'd think he would've called
once he got settled in.
300
00:12:04,053 --> 00:12:05,753
Hmm. Maybe he's busy.
301
00:12:05,755 --> 00:12:07,288
Too busy to call?
He wasn't too busy
302
00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:10,591
to binge-watch Hot in Cleveland
with my Hulu password.
303
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,662
What is happening?
304
00:12:14,664 --> 00:12:17,164
Are we missing him?
305
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:20,768
No, that's not what
this feeling is.
306
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:22,937
Is it?
307
00:12:22,939 --> 00:12:25,339
Of course not.
He drove us crazy.
308
00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:27,141
Like when you were gonna
make that pie
309
00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:30,745
and Stuart ate
all the blueberries. (scoffs)
310
00:12:30,747 --> 00:12:33,981
And he tried to deny it, but
his teeth were all purple.
311
00:12:35,752 --> 00:12:37,718
That was pretty cute.
(chuckles)
312
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,920
Yeah.
313
00:12:39,922 --> 00:12:41,722
Ew, we are missing him!
314
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:47,828
So I was thinking,
maybe we can come up with a name
315
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:50,464
for the asteroid by
combining our names.
316
00:12:50,466 --> 00:12:51,932
That's a great idea.
317
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:53,434
I've got it.
318
00:12:53,436 --> 00:12:56,303
We'll call it... Cooper.
319
00:12:58,141 --> 00:12:59,774
How is that both our names?
320
00:12:59,776 --> 00:13:03,878
"Koo" from Koothrappali
and "per" from Cooper.
321
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,547
Yeah, s-so it's, like,
Kooper with a "K"?
322
00:13:06,549 --> 00:13:08,249
Nah, you're right, that's dumb.
323
00:13:09,252 --> 00:13:10,584
Hey.
324
00:13:10,586 --> 00:13:11,986
Oh, Leonard, great news.
325
00:13:11,988 --> 00:13:15,423
We discovered a medium-sized
asteroid together.
326
00:13:15,425 --> 00:13:17,124
Wow, that's amazing!
327
00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:19,193
I'm in a pretty great mood
today myself.
328
00:13:19,195 --> 00:13:22,196
Okay. Guess we're gonna
talk about you now.
329
00:13:22,198 --> 00:13:25,099
Well, we are, because
Dr. Gallo made me realize
330
00:13:25,101 --> 00:13:27,868
that I'm a worthwhile person
and that my feelings matter.
331
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:31,872
I learned that for free from
a cat poster, but good for you.
332
00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:35,276
Okay, back to me.
333
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:38,179
I discovered an asteroid,
and now I get to name it.
334
00:13:38,181 --> 00:13:39,880
Wait, what happened to us?
335
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:41,115
Now, this isn't about us,
336
00:13:41,117 --> 00:13:43,284
this is about what's best
for the asteroid.
337
00:13:44,821 --> 00:13:46,754
What are you thinking
of naming it?
338
00:13:46,756 --> 00:13:48,456
I haven't settled
on anything yet.
339
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,291
We haven't settled
on anything yet.
340
00:13:50,293 --> 00:13:53,828
All right, way to go,
Cat Poster. You hang in there.
341
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:56,363
You know what'd be nice?
Name it after your girlfriends.
342
00:13:56,365 --> 00:13:57,932
Show them how much you care.
343
00:13:57,934 --> 00:14:00,334
That is a great idea.
344
00:14:00,336 --> 00:14:01,635
It's perfect.
345
00:14:01,637 --> 00:14:03,938
It appears romantic,
but it's really just
346
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,206
a rock in space that gets me
347
00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:06,740
out of Valentine's Day
forever.
348
00:14:09,078 --> 00:14:11,579
So, uh, what were you thinking?
Combine their names?
349
00:14:11,581 --> 00:14:12,880
I like it.
350
00:14:12,882 --> 00:14:15,916
Yeah, we'll take the "A-M"
from Amy and, uh,
351
00:14:15,918 --> 00:14:18,652
the "Y" from Emily.
352
00:14:19,589 --> 00:14:21,288
That's just Amy.
353
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,491
Exactly.
See how well we work together?
354
00:14:25,695 --> 00:14:27,394
And in double-blind
studies,
355
00:14:27,396 --> 00:14:29,730
Placinex proved extremely
effective in treating
356
00:14:29,732 --> 00:14:31,332
all kinds of anxiety.
357
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,501
Actually, funny story--
the boys in the lab
358
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:36,203
were worried about getting
FDA approval for Placinex;
359
00:14:36,205 --> 00:14:38,439
they started taking it,
stopped worrying.
360
00:14:39,842 --> 00:14:41,442
Got it.
361
00:14:41,444 --> 00:14:42,776
Uh, do you have any questions?
362
00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:45,146
Just one.
Mm-hmm?
363
00:14:45,148 --> 00:14:47,214
When you made your husband
pretend to be a patient
364
00:14:47,216 --> 00:14:51,752
so you could get access to me,
what were you thinking there?
365
00:14:53,055 --> 00:14:56,023
I just... meant a question
about the drug.
366
00:14:57,827 --> 00:14:58,959
Yeah, I know what you meant.
367
00:14:58,961 --> 00:15:00,427
Let's put that aside
for a minute
368
00:15:00,429 --> 00:15:03,097
and talk about
why you married Leonard.
369
00:15:03,099 --> 00:15:05,533
(whispers):
I don't wanna.
370
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:09,570
Here is a man
raised by an overbearing woman
371
00:15:09,572 --> 00:15:13,407
who completely dominated every
aspect of his formative years.
372
00:15:13,409 --> 00:15:15,342
Do you think
373
00:15:15,344 --> 00:15:16,844
he's perpetuating
that relationship
374
00:15:16,846 --> 00:15:19,880
by seeking out
a partner like you?
375
00:15:21,350 --> 00:15:24,652
You know,
I used to wear tank tops a lot.
376
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:27,121
That was a big selling point.
377
00:15:29,525 --> 00:15:31,125
Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
378
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:34,461
Good news. You're an asteroid.
379
00:15:36,899 --> 00:15:40,834
Uh... please tell me
what to say next.
380
00:15:40,836 --> 00:15:42,636
Perhaps I should explain.
381
00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:44,471
While working with Koothrappali,
382
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:47,808
we discovered an asteroid,
and I named it after you.
383
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,910
(laughs):
Oh.
384
00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:52,012
Sheldon, thank you.
385
00:15:52,014 --> 00:15:53,847
That's so romantic.
386
00:15:53,849 --> 00:15:55,416
But what about Rajesh?
387
00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:57,484
He was okay with
you choosing the name?
388
00:15:57,486 --> 00:15:59,220
Well, it took
a little negotiating,
389
00:15:59,222 --> 00:16:00,521
but I wore him down.
390
00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:02,022
Uh, we get the asteroid,
391
00:16:02,024 --> 00:16:03,724
and if you and I have children,
392
00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:07,261
they all have to be
named Rajesh.
393
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,597
All of them?
394
00:16:09,599 --> 00:16:12,399
Even the girls.
395
00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:16,003
Okay, I think I know
what to say now.
396
00:16:18,207 --> 00:16:19,840
How can I not
sound like his mother
397
00:16:19,842 --> 00:16:21,842
when our entire bedroom
is filled with Star Wars toys?
398
00:16:21,844 --> 00:16:23,444
I mean, have you ever had sex
399
00:16:23,446 --> 00:16:26,213
with a stuffed Wookiee
watching you?
400
00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:29,049
I went to college in the '70s;
it was a hairier time.
401
00:16:29,051 --> 00:16:31,619
I'm gonna say yes.
402
00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:34,088
You know, if anything,
he's turning me into his mother.
403
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:36,523
Before I did pharmaceutical
sales, I was an actress.
404
00:16:36,525 --> 00:16:38,158
You know, I was pretty good.
405
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,694
You know, girl-next-door type,
but hot.
406
00:16:40,696 --> 00:16:42,930
Doable.
407
00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:44,198
Hmm.
408
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,833
And not only
am I Leonard's mother,
409
00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:48,602
but we have this man-child
living with us named Sheldon.
410
00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:51,839
Oh, Leonard talked a lot
about him.
411
00:16:51,841 --> 00:16:54,908
I wasn't sure if he was real.
412
00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:57,311
Yeah, he's as real
as the fine I get
413
00:16:57,313 --> 00:17:00,447
when I use
too much toilet paper.
414
00:17:00,449 --> 00:17:04,051
Wow, you really do have
a lot on your plate.
415
00:17:04,053 --> 00:17:06,420
I do.
416
00:17:06,422 --> 00:17:07,821
You know,
417
00:17:07,823 --> 00:17:08,889
Leonard's right.
418
00:17:08,891 --> 00:17:10,758
Talking to you
is really helping.
419
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,259
Oh, I'm glad.
420
00:17:12,261 --> 00:17:13,994
You know, you might also benefit
421
00:17:13,996 --> 00:17:16,363
from a prescription
for anxiety.
422
00:17:16,365 --> 00:17:18,332
Okay, if you think it'll help.
423
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:19,867
Oh, just don't
make it Placinex.
424
00:17:19,869 --> 00:17:22,469
I do not need
sudden fits of homicidal rage.
425
00:17:26,242 --> 00:17:28,075
I miss you.
426
00:17:28,077 --> 00:17:29,710
I miss you as well.
427
00:17:29,712 --> 00:17:31,779
I can't believe
I miss Stuart.
428
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:34,581
I guess I just miss
when life was simpler.
429
00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:36,450
GIRLS (chanting):
Go, Leonard! Go, Leonard!
430
00:17:36,452 --> 00:17:37,751
Go, Leonard!
Go, Leonard!
431
00:17:37,753 --> 00:17:40,921
Remember, girls, you decide
what makes you happy,
432
00:17:40,923 --> 00:17:43,524
not your emotionally
withholding mothers.
433
00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:45,526
GIRLS (chanting):
Go, Leonard! Go, Leonard!
434
00:17:45,528 --> 00:17:48,762
Go, Leonard! Go, Leonard!
Go, Leonard!
435
00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:07,192
(whispers):
I really miss this.
436
00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:15,052
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man