1
00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:01,600
English Subtitles.
The Big Bang Theory S09E05 [KoTuWa]
The Perspiration Implementation
2
00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:05,647
Hey, ready for lunch?
Oh, one sec.
3
00:00:05,649 --> 00:00:09,084
Is that the prototype drive
system for the high-G rover?
4
00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:11,453
No, Bernadette
got me a Fitbit
5
00:00:11,455 --> 00:00:14,490
so she can track
how much I'm exercising.
6
00:00:15,825 --> 00:00:19,094
That'll teach her to care
about your health.
7
00:00:19,096 --> 00:00:22,865
I can't wait to see the look
on her face when I die young.
8
00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:25,367
When was the last actual
exercise you got?
9
00:00:25,369 --> 00:00:26,735
The other day, when
10
00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:30,172
she tried to put that Fitbit
on me and I ran away from her.
11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,641
According to a recent study,
12
00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:35,410
simply thinking about exercise,
even while sitting still,
13
00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:36,778
can have physical benefits.
14
00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:39,381
For all you know,
I could be exercising right now.
15
00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:42,284
Are you?
Eh, I'll do it tomorrow.
16
00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:44,486
It wouldn't be the worst thing
17
00:00:44,488 --> 00:00:45,654
if we were more active.
18
00:00:45,656 --> 00:00:48,056
Oh. You make
an excellent point.
19
00:00:51,227 --> 00:00:53,929
Ooh, I think
I'm getting a runner's high!
20
00:00:53,931 --> 00:00:57,566
♪ Our whole universe
was in hot, dense state ♪
21
00:00:57,568 --> 00:01:00,902
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
22
00:01:00,904 --> 00:01:02,537
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
23
00:01:02,539 --> 00:01:05,073
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
24
00:01:05,075 --> 00:01:07,742
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
25
00:01:07,744 --> 00:01:10,412
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
26
00:01:10,414 --> 00:01:12,313
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
27
00:01:12,315 --> 00:01:14,211
♪ Bang! ♪
28
00:01:14,212 --> 00:01:18,212
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x05 ♪
The Perspiration Implementation
Original Air Date on October 19, 2015
29
00:01:18,213 --> 00:01:23,913
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
30
00:01:23,914 --> 00:01:26,146
Look at all these activities
the university has.
31
00:01:26,147 --> 00:01:29,181
Rock climbing club,
archery, flag football.
32
00:01:29,183 --> 00:01:32,518
Had me at flag,
lost me at football.
33
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,154
Yeah, I think it's great you
guys want to get more exercise,
34
00:01:35,156 --> 00:01:38,090
but do you really think sports
is the right choice for you?
35
00:01:38,092 --> 00:01:40,058
What are you saying?
We're not coordinated enough
36
00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:41,159
to play sports?
37
00:01:41,161 --> 00:01:43,562
Okay, Leonard, sweetheart,
38
00:01:43,564 --> 00:01:46,865
you twisted your ankle
playing Scrabble.
39
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,701
I got a triple-word score
40
00:01:49,703 --> 00:01:51,370
with a double letter "Q."
If that's not a time
41
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:54,272
to bust out the Scrabble dance,
what's the point of having one?
42
00:01:56,175 --> 00:02:00,011
Hey, Barry Kripke
started a fencing club.
43
00:02:00,013 --> 00:02:03,982
Interesting. Sword fighting does
hold a certain elegant appeal.
44
00:02:03,984 --> 00:02:05,817
And I would imagine
it meets many
45
00:02:05,819 --> 00:02:08,453
of our personal criteria
for a sport.
46
00:02:08,455 --> 00:02:10,789
It's indoors, so no sunscreen.
47
00:02:11,457 --> 00:02:12,457
No throwing, no catching,
48
00:02:12,459 --> 00:02:14,259
no running.
49
00:02:14,261 --> 00:02:17,229
No gym shorts
that can be yanked down.
50
00:02:18,397 --> 00:02:19,598
Or worse, up.
51
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,399
Preach.
52
00:02:21,401 --> 00:02:22,734
And as
an added bonus,
53
00:02:22,736 --> 00:02:24,469
the word "touché" comes
from fencing.
54
00:02:24,471 --> 00:02:26,504
It would be our only opportunity
to use it
55
00:02:26,506 --> 00:02:29,240
in a non-metaphorical sense.
56
00:02:29,242 --> 00:02:31,409
What about a game of tag
on a French schoolyard?
57
00:02:31,411 --> 00:02:33,311
Ah, touché.
58
00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:37,315
Thanks for coming by.
59
00:02:37,317 --> 00:02:39,017
Sure. So how can we help?
60
00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:41,186
Well, I know
more women are
61
00:02:41,188 --> 00:02:42,987
buying comics than ever,
but for some reason,
62
00:02:42,989 --> 00:02:44,856
I-I can't get
'em in here.
63
00:02:44,858 --> 00:02:46,891
All right, well,
what have you tried so far?
64
00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:50,495
Uh, I've-I've been stocking
more female-oriented titles.
65
00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:53,765
Uh, in the bathroom, I folded
the end of the toilet paper
66
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:55,033
into a triangle.
67
00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:56,367
And,
uh,
68
00:02:56,369 --> 00:02:58,236
you are now sitting
in the official
69
00:02:58,238 --> 00:03:00,471
breastfeeding area.
70
00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:05,810
Really? In a comic book store?
Oh,
71
00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:08,079
don't worry. I-I've got
a camera right up here,
72
00:03:08,081 --> 00:03:10,648
so I could watch
from the counter
73
00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:14,151
and make sure guys
aren't being pervs.
74
00:03:18,624 --> 00:03:19,757
Anyway,
75
00:03:19,759 --> 00:03:21,592
so what do I got to do to-to
76
00:03:21,594 --> 00:03:22,827
get you in
the door?
77
00:03:22,829 --> 00:03:24,562
Well, for starters,
78
00:03:24,564 --> 00:03:26,864
you might want to rethink
some of this artwork.
79
00:03:26,866 --> 00:03:31,235
I mean, this woman's
actually on a leash like a dog.
80
00:03:31,237 --> 00:03:34,038
Well, you don't know
the backstory.
81
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,108
Maybe she kept jumping up
on the couch.
82
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:45,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
83
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:52,056
I feel cool.
84
00:03:52,058 --> 00:03:55,559
Like Puss in Boots.
85
00:03:55,561 --> 00:03:58,380
I always wanted to be
a swashbuckler when I was a kid.
86
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,097
Technically,
87
00:03:59,098 --> 00:04:01,265
"swashbuckler" is a combination
of two terms.
88
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,867
"Swash" referring to the sound
of the sword.
89
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,903
Swash.
90
00:04:06,838 --> 00:04:08,272
And
then
91
00:04:08,274 --> 00:04:11,441
"buckler" meaning a small
shield, which you don't have.
92
00:04:11,443 --> 00:04:13,043
We can still be swashers.
Hmm.
93
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,045
Well said, Puss.
94
00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:20,684
Gentlemen, welcome
to the fencing club.
95
00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:24,521
Before we start, I just want to
warn you, fencing isn't a joke.
96
00:04:24,523 --> 00:04:26,323
I hope you're not here because
you think it's going to be
97
00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:28,258
like Star Wars.
98
00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:29,159
That's not why we're here.
99
00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:30,360
Yeah, I'm here
because I think
100
00:04:30,362 --> 00:04:32,195
it's gonna be like
Game of Thrones.
101
00:04:32,197 --> 00:04:34,564
And maybe
a little Princess Bride.
102
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,366
Ooh, ooh! I forgot
about Princess Bride!
103
00:04:36,368 --> 00:04:38,902
That's my answer!
104
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:43,139
Well, sorry to disappoint you,
but fencing is a serious sport.
105
00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:44,174
If you're not willing
to put in the effort,
106
00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:46,276
you might as well just leave
now.
107
00:04:46,278 --> 00:04:48,511
We're not afraid of physical activity.
Yeah.
108
00:04:48,513 --> 00:04:51,114
I already ran 18 miles today.
109
00:04:52,216 --> 00:04:54,818
All right. Let's begin
with some fundamentals.
110
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:57,153
This is the en
garde position.
111
00:04:57,155 --> 00:05:00,123
Feet are in an "L."
Heels in a straight line.
112
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,091
Elbow is
about a fist
113
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,692
from the rib cage.
114
00:05:02,694 --> 00:05:05,728
Notice my dominant
leg faces forward.
115
00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:06,763
Oh, dear.
116
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,064
What's wrong, Cooper?
117
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:11,468
Well, I'm not sure
I have a dominant leg.
118
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,369
They're both pretty submissive.
119
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:17,173
When you're in a
public restroom,
120
00:05:17,175 --> 00:05:19,576
which foot do you
flush the toilet with?
121
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,947
Right. Always right.
122
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,248
He's a righty.
123
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,817
Okay,
124
00:05:27,819 --> 00:05:28,918
show me en garde.
125
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,254
Good. Knees bent,
126
00:05:31,256 --> 00:05:32,922
slightly over the toe.
127
00:05:32,924 --> 00:05:35,625
Non-sword hand up for balance.
128
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,595
I am going
to feel this tomorrow.
129
00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:42,799
The first move
is called an advance.
130
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,268
You move your front foot
forward, heel to toe.
131
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:47,270
Back foot
follows.
132
00:05:47,272 --> 00:05:49,672
So front foot forward,
heel to toe.
133
00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,407
Back foot follows.
134
00:05:51,409 --> 00:05:54,076
Now you try. Advance.
135
00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:57,647
And advance.
And advance.
136
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:01,017
This is easy.
I didn't need to wear a cup.
137
00:06:01,019 --> 00:06:02,051
Good.
138
00:06:02,053 --> 00:06:03,819
The next move is called
a retreat.
139
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:04,920
Step back.
140
00:06:04,922 --> 00:06:06,922
Back foot first, toe to heel.
141
00:06:06,924 --> 00:06:08,591
Front foot follows.
142
00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:10,226
On three.
143
00:06:10,228 --> 00:06:11,460
Excuse me, Barry?
Yes.
144
00:06:11,462 --> 00:06:13,829
When can I stab
one of my friends?
145
00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:16,699
In fencing,
we don't call it a stab.
146
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:18,467
We call it a touch.
Uh, yes, I'm aware.
147
00:06:18,469 --> 00:06:20,336
But if I say I want
to touch one of my friends,
148
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,372
I'll get called
into Human Resources.
149
00:06:23,374 --> 00:06:24,840
Okay, on three,
150
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:28,310
Cooper and Koothrappali advance,
the other two retreat.
151
00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:31,980
One, two, three.
152
00:06:31,982 --> 00:06:33,682
Very good. Switch it up.
153
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,651
One, two, three.
154
00:06:35,653 --> 00:06:38,287
Switch again.
One, two, three.
155
00:06:40,658 --> 00:06:42,324
Excuse me.
156
00:06:42,326 --> 00:06:44,092
Can I call you back?
157
00:06:44,094 --> 00:06:47,663
No, I'm teaching
a class.
158
00:06:47,665 --> 00:06:50,299
Sure.
Sure.
159
00:06:50,301 --> 00:06:52,534
An hour,
tops.
160
00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:53,969
Yeah. Okay.
161
00:06:53,971 --> 00:06:56,038
Okay.
Yeah.
162
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,006
Okay. Thanks.
163
00:06:58,008 --> 00:07:01,877
And one,
two, three.
164
00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:06,481
Have you thought about
advertising directly to females?
165
00:07:06,483 --> 00:07:08,483
Hmm, okay.
166
00:07:08,485 --> 00:07:10,218
Well... All right.
167
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:13,255
What if I put up a sign
in the window that said,
168
00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:16,091
"Women, come in.
169
00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:19,594
Don't be afraid."
170
00:07:22,198 --> 00:07:24,399
Hey.
171
00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:26,534
Uh, have you read the online
reviews for this place?
172
00:07:26,536 --> 00:07:27,569
Eh,
173
00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:28,536
the Internet's so negative.
174
00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:30,071
I try to avoid it.
175
00:07:30,073 --> 00:07:31,306
All right, well,
Heather H. says,
176
00:07:31,308 --> 00:07:33,208
"The owner stared at me
the whole time
177
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:35,844
and didn't blink once."
178
00:07:44,253 --> 00:07:45,987
Kelly M. says,
179
00:07:45,989 --> 00:07:48,623
"The creepy guy who runs it
asked me out,
180
00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:52,193
then called himself stupid
before I could say no."
181
00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:56,130
Jessica K.
says,
182
00:07:56,132 --> 00:07:58,566
"I told the weird owner
that I liked his shirt.
183
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:02,303
He took it off
and gave it to me."
184
00:08:02,305 --> 00:08:06,107
See? Negative.
185
00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:10,011
With your foil extended,
186
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:13,114
kick your front leg up and
push off with your back leg.
187
00:08:13,116 --> 00:08:14,882
Now you try.
188
00:08:15,651 --> 00:08:18,319
And
again.
189
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:21,222
And again.
190
00:08:21,224 --> 00:08:24,392
Look at us! We're
like the Rockettes!
191
00:08:25,193 --> 00:08:26,961
En garde,
Leonard.
192
00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:30,264
Prepare yourself
for a rigorous touching.
193
00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:35,036
My name is Inigo Montoya.
194
00:08:35,038 --> 00:08:36,904
You killed my father.
195
00:08:36,906 --> 00:08:38,472
Prepare to die.
196
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:40,141
My name
197
00:08:40,143 --> 00:08:41,175
is Inigo Montoya.
198
00:08:41,177 --> 00:08:43,611
You killed my
father. Prepare
199
00:08:43,613 --> 00:08:45,212
to die.
200
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:47,548
I thought
you were Puss in Boots.
201
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:48,782
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
202
00:08:48,784 --> 00:08:50,918
My name is Puss in Boots.
203
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,686
You killed my father.
204
00:08:52,688 --> 00:08:54,421
Prepare to die.
205
00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:59,660
I'm looking forward to him
teaching us glove-slapping.
206
00:08:59,662 --> 00:09:01,462
What?
207
00:09:01,464 --> 00:09:04,031
You know, when my
honor is insulted,
208
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,166
and I need to challenge
someone to a duel
209
00:09:06,168 --> 00:09:10,003
by slapping them across
the face with my glove.
210
00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,371
When was your honor insulted?
211
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:14,975
My last physical.
212
00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:17,311
Again, that doctor
didn't insult your honor.
213
00:09:17,313 --> 00:09:19,480
Just checked your prostate.
214
00:09:20,949 --> 00:09:24,084
My name is Little
Orphan Annie.
215
00:09:24,086 --> 00:09:25,953
You killed my father.
216
00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:28,322
Prepare to die.
217
00:09:30,425 --> 00:09:33,560
My name is Darth Vader.
218
00:09:33,562 --> 00:09:36,663
I am your father. Ah!
219
00:09:38,366 --> 00:09:40,667
This is fun.
Good.
220
00:09:40,669 --> 00:09:42,702
It's nice
to see your mind off Amy.
221
00:09:42,704 --> 00:09:44,137
What's going on with Amy?
222
00:09:44,139 --> 00:09:45,806
Not that it's any
of your business,
223
00:09:45,808 --> 00:09:47,207
but she broke up with me.
224
00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:48,708
Really?
225
00:09:48,710 --> 00:09:50,410
Good to know.
226
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:54,381
"Good to know"?
227
00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:56,216
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh.
228
00:09:56,218 --> 00:09:59,419
I hate to say it, but it sounds
like he's interested in her.
229
00:09:59,421 --> 00:10:02,455
Well, that's unacceptable.
230
00:10:02,457 --> 00:10:04,624
Oh, buddy, I get
that you don't like it,
231
00:10:04,626 --> 00:10:06,459
but it's not
really up to you.
232
00:10:06,461 --> 00:10:09,629
Yeah, but he's dumb,
and his face is dumb.
233
00:10:09,631 --> 00:10:12,899
Look, even if it's not him,
234
00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:16,402
Amy's probably going
to date someone at some point.
235
00:10:16,404 --> 00:10:18,037
You really think so?
236
00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:20,707
Of course.
She deserves to be happy.
237
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,476
How dare you!
238
00:10:33,098 --> 00:10:34,732
Listen, I should warn you
239
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:38,569
that maybe asking Amy out
isn't a good idea.
240
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,970
Barry, a word?
241
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,573
And now the crazy version
of what I just said.
242
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,543
If you intend to pursue Amy,
243
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,312
you leave me with no choice
but to put a stop to it.
244
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,048
And how are you gonna do that?
245
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,750
By challenging you to a duel.
246
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:56,854
You've had one lesson.
I'll destroy you.
247
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,023
That is why
the duel will take place
248
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:01,992
at high noon,
three years from today.
249
00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:05,396
If you're worth your salt
as an instructor,
250
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,630
I should be ready by then.
251
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,699
Yeah, and be warned.
252
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,734
I'm going to touch you all over.
253
00:11:13,104 --> 00:11:18,408
Wow. That-that was crazier
than I thought.
254
00:11:19,544 --> 00:11:22,412
All right,
I'm not saying
255
00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:24,815
it's true, but let's-let's
consider for a moment
256
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,284
that possibly I'm the problem.
Yeah.
257
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,552
You are.
You can say it.
258
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,120
Okay, fine. What...?
259
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:31,655
I mean, what
can I do?
260
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,457
I get so nervous
around women.
261
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:34,925
Well, you're talking
to us now.
262
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,360
I mean, you don't seem nervous.
263
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,961
Well, that's
'cause I'm doing that trick
264
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:40,597
where you imagine
the audience is naked.
265
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,202
By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
266
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,772
Do you not hear
how creepy that sounds?
267
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:50,707
It was a joke.
268
00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:51,875
Was it?
269
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,677
No, I'm still doing it.
270
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,580
Okay.
271
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:58,548
Don't be offended, but...
272
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,884
what went wrong with you?
273
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:05,422
I-I guess I assumed
at this point in my life,
274
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:08,558
I would be married
or in a relationship,
275
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:09,993
or even have a pet
276
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,695
that didn't run away
or kill itself.
277
00:12:13,564 --> 00:12:15,465
That really happened?
278
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:17,801
I mean, I can't say for sure,
but I swear
279
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,669
that rabbit looked me
right in the eye
280
00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:21,804
before it hopped
in front of that car.
281
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,673
Anyway,
282
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:25,909
the longer I'm alone,
the more desperate I get.
283
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:31,347
Stuart, believe it or not,
I understand.
284
00:12:31,349 --> 00:12:32,882
You know, before I met Sheldon,
285
00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:35,518
I was alone
for a really long time.
286
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,420
I was so desperate
287
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:39,789
for people to like me,
when I met these guys,
288
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:43,059
it took everything in my power
to hide my insecurity.
289
00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:48,197
Okay, we're all feeling it.
290
00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:50,433
Yes, I'll go out with you.
291
00:12:53,704 --> 00:12:56,973
Suddenly, the rabbit thing
makes sense.
292
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,511
I'm surprised you wanted to go
to a sports bar, Sheldon.
293
00:13:02,513 --> 00:13:04,981
Look at this blister.
294
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:07,483
Like it or not,
we're athletes now.
295
00:13:07,485 --> 00:13:10,720
Besides, a bar is
where I belong.
296
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,922
I'm having female problems.
297
00:13:12,924 --> 00:13:15,724
If you're cranky and retaining
water, I have a theory.
298
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,929
Sheldon, instead of focusing
on Amy dating other guys,
299
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:22,464
maybe you should start thinking
about dating another girl.
300
00:13:22,466 --> 00:13:24,633
That's ridiculous.
301
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:25,935
Why? You never thought
302
00:13:25,937 --> 00:13:27,202
you'd end up in a relationship,
303
00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:28,370
and then you met Amy.
304
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,838
Maybe there's someone else
out there for you.
305
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,976
True, but Penny's married,
and so is Bernadette.
306
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:37,379
And your girlfriend has
red hair and white skin,
307
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:40,549
which really rubs up
against my clown phobia.
308
00:13:41,851 --> 00:13:43,452
Maybe you should consider women
309
00:13:43,454 --> 00:13:44,820
who aren't
in serious relationships
310
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:46,388
with your closest friends?
311
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:49,925
There's that prostate doctor,
but I'm still mad at her.
312
00:13:52,128 --> 00:13:53,729
Oh, there's a woman.
313
00:13:53,731 --> 00:13:55,130
Oh, I'll make her my girlfriend.
314
00:13:55,132 --> 00:13:57,799
Whoa, whoa.
315
00:13:57,801 --> 00:14:01,937
Walking up to a strange woman
in a bar usually doesn't work.
316
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:03,839
You're forgetting something.
317
00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:05,407
Ladies love jocks.
318
00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:08,577
How many sips
of that beer did he have?
319
00:14:08,579 --> 00:14:10,445
Three.
Oh, boy.
320
00:14:12,081 --> 00:14:16,852
Excuse me. I'm recovering
from a recent breakup,
321
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:20,655
and I'm told asking out another
woman might make me feel better.
322
00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:24,860
And as Ash Ketchum said
to Pikachu, "I choose you."
323
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,828
What?
324
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:28,997
It's a Pokémon reference.
325
00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:30,699
I don't know what that means.
326
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,834
Well, we gave it a shot.
327
00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:36,237
How about you?
328
00:14:36,239 --> 00:14:39,441
I'm married,
and I'm her grandmother.
329
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:42,277
Ah, what might have been.
330
00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:46,347
And you, give my regards
to Barnum and Bailey.
331
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:52,821
Stuart took that rejection
like a pro.
332
00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:55,690
Well, he knew
he was on the breast cam.
333
00:14:57,593 --> 00:15:00,328
I don't have much practice
turning men down.
334
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:01,863
It wasn't so much fun.
335
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:03,197
Oh, you get used to it.
336
00:15:03,199 --> 00:15:05,466
Some guys you have
to turn down over and over.
337
00:15:05,468 --> 00:15:08,169
And sometimes
we marry them anyway.
338
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:12,407
Huh.
339
00:15:12,409 --> 00:15:14,642
Well, this is weird.
340
00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:17,712
What?
Barry Kripke just asked me out.
341
00:15:17,714 --> 00:15:19,080
Oh.
342
00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:21,449
Look at you--
two guys in one day!
343
00:15:21,451 --> 00:15:25,186
I told you things would change
if you plucked your eyebrows!
344
00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,356
What did he say?
345
00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,825
"Hi, how are you?
I was wondering
346
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:33,761
if you'd like to get a drink
after work sometime."
347
00:15:33,763 --> 00:15:35,396
Well, what are
you gonna do?
348
00:15:35,398 --> 00:15:37,298
I don't know.
349
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,368
I guess I assumed that I would
eventually date other people,
350
00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:42,603
but this is happening so fast.
351
00:15:42,605 --> 00:15:44,205
What can it hurt?
352
00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:46,207
Well, I was hoping the
next person I dated
353
00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,175
would be a little
less like Sheldon.
354
00:15:48,177 --> 00:15:49,877
You mean, not a scientist?
355
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:51,946
I think she means not a weirdo.
356
00:15:53,181 --> 00:15:54,582
Are you attracted
to him?
357
00:15:54,584 --> 00:15:56,817
I don't know.
358
00:15:56,819 --> 00:15:59,620
All right, well, what happens
if you imagine him naked?
359
00:15:59,622 --> 00:16:00,821
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
360
00:16:08,463 --> 00:16:10,331
I smell funny.
361
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:14,435
I taste salty.
362
00:16:14,437 --> 00:16:17,504
You're just sweaty
from exercise.
363
00:16:17,506 --> 00:16:19,006
And kind of delicious.
364
00:16:20,909 --> 00:16:24,444
I wonder how many licks it would
take to get to the center of me.
365
00:16:27,282 --> 00:16:29,750
I know it only takes
one doctor's finger.
366
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,121
Hello.
367
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,789
Hello.
368
00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:37,391
We should let
you guys talk.
369
00:16:37,393 --> 00:16:38,325
Yeah.
370
00:16:38,327 --> 00:16:39,626
You don't have to leave.
371
00:16:39,628 --> 00:16:41,461
Look at me go!
372
00:16:43,464 --> 00:16:44,765
Uh, Bernadette,
you're my ride.
373
00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:46,032
Walk!
374
00:16:50,271 --> 00:16:52,672
How have you been?
375
00:16:52,674 --> 00:16:54,641
I'm doing all right.
376
00:16:54,643 --> 00:16:56,977
I tried fencing today.
377
00:16:56,979 --> 00:16:58,778
How'd that go?
378
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:01,414
It was pretty easy.
379
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:03,984
And I think my background
in "mathletics" helped.
380
00:17:05,653 --> 00:17:07,954
Barry Kripke was there.
381
00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:09,222
I should let you know
382
00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:12,158
that he expressed interest
in asking you out.
383
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,061
Well, actually,
he-he already did.
384
00:17:15,063 --> 00:17:17,030
Okay.
385
00:17:17,032 --> 00:17:18,798
But don't get
too attached to him.
386
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,935
In two years, 364 days,
he's a dead man.
387
00:17:25,239 --> 00:17:26,573
I said no.
388
00:17:26,575 --> 00:17:28,174
Interesting.
389
00:17:28,176 --> 00:17:32,345
I asked two women out today,
and they both said no.
390
00:17:32,347 --> 00:17:35,748
I didn't know you
were interested in dating.
391
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:39,018
I've been told
it's a good way to move on.
392
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:41,354
Oh.
393
00:17:41,356 --> 00:17:43,222
Okay.
394
00:17:45,693 --> 00:17:49,395
Anyway, um,
it's nice to see you.
395
00:17:49,397 --> 00:17:50,997
You look good.
396
00:17:50,999 --> 00:17:51,998
Mmm, thanks.
397
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,399
And I taste good too.
398
00:18:05,070 --> 00:18:07,305
Howie?
399
00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:09,122
What's up?
400
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:12,760
Why does your Fitbit say
you ran 174 miles yesterday?
401
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:23,159
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
401
00:18:24,305 --> 00:19:24,922
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/n3dc
Help other users to choose the best subtitles