1
00:00:02,634 --> 00:00:04,169
It's, like,
the best one they make,
2
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,271
I just can't get it to work.
I'll figure it out.
3
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:09,842
It streams HD video straight
to your phone while it's flying.
4
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,176
Nice.
5
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,278
Where were you
when I was single?
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,984
Okay, we should leave in
about an hour. You all packed?
7
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,153
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw
in a few last minute things--
8
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,255
you know, makeup,
underwear, clothes.
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,891
If your bathroom floor
10
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,960
counts as a carry-on,
you're packed.
11
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,529
Leonard,
have you ever given
12
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,897
a high school
commencement speech before?
13
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,866
Nope. It's pretty exciting.
14
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,035
Aren't you afraid
of being blinded?
15
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,003
How would I be blinded?
16
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,671
At the end of the ceremony,
17
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,074
all the students throw
those pointy hats in the air.
18
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,910
It's all pomp and circumstance
19
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,346
until someone loses an eye.
20
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,914
I'll take my chances.
21
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,182
Fine.
22
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,583
I wonder if they make
23
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,619
"I told you so"
cards in braille.
24
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,189
Look, the problem
with commencement speeches
25
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:59,258
is that they're boring.
26
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,427
Ooh, do you own
a T-shirt cannon?
27
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,363
Why would he own
a T-shirt cannon?
28
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,398
I don't know. Why do I own one?
29
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,001
I think it's really nice
30
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:10,502
that you're sharing
this experience with Penny.
31
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,171
Mm, I thought
it'd be fun
32
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,006
to show her my old
stomping grounds.
33
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:17,076
I even know the exact spot
where they used to stomp me.
34
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,611
Well, now you
get to go back
35
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,013
as a successful
scientist.
36
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,048
With a beautiful girl
on your arm.
37
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:26,018
And a pointy hat sticking
out of your eyeball.
38
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:29,521
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
39
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,891
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
40
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,460
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
41
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,096
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
42
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:39,731
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
43
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,367
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
44
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,236
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
45
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,105
♪ Bang! ♪
46
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:54,613
How'd you get
ready so fast?
47
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,081
Oh, I pack light.
48
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,649
Once, I got through
an entire spring break
49
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,818
with nothing
but a long T-shirt and a belt.
50
00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:02,921
Why did you need a belt?
51
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,891
It's called an
evening look.
52
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,093
I've never been to
New Jersey before.
53
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,162
It gets a bad rap from shows
54
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,131
like Jersey Shore
and Real Housewives.
55
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,665
So it's not
really like that?
56
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,734
No, it's like that.
57
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,670
Well, I'm excited
to show you around.
58
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,739
You think we'll have time
to visit your mom over there?
59
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,809
Yes. We'll also have time to put
my junk in a garlic press,
60
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,311
but I'm not
doing that either.
61
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,014
(phone chimes)
62
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,649
Uh-oh.
63
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,284
I just got an alert.
64
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,519
Our flight's
been canceled.
65
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,620
What?
66
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:35,921
Yeah, looks like
there's a big storm
67
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,623
all up the East Coast.
68
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,424
Well, can we get
on another airline?
69
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,826
I don't think so.
70
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,927
So, that's it?
71
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,028
We're not going?
72
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,364
I guess not.
(scoffs)
73
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,431
Well, that sucks.
74
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,599
Yeah.
75
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,634
I worked hard on
that speech, too.
76
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,936
Oh. You could tell it to me.
77
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,671
Oh, thank you,
but I'm okay.
78
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,972
Are you sure?
79
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,774
I could pretend I'm a
high school cheerleader
80
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,709
who can't control herself
around esteemed alumni.
81
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,047
Greetings, distinguished
cheerleaders.
82
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,283
Ooh!
83
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,053
Okay, the WiFi extender
is on, the camera's on,
84
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,488
they're both on
the same network;
85
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,856
we should be
getting an image.
86
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,125
All I see is a black screen.
87
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:14,726
And my own reflection.
88
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,129
I look sad.
89
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,233
Maybe we should
recalibrate it.
90
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,901
All right.
Step one:
91
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,970
rapidly flip
the calibration switch
92
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,872
from the fully up
to the fully down positions
93
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,707
for at least ten times.
94
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,643
It actually says "at least"?
95
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,145
Yeah.
96
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:34,846
Why would they say "at least"?
97
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,148
Is it ten toggles?
98
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,050
Is it 100 toggles? You know?
99
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,918
Is it 1,000 toggles?
100
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,887
10,000 toggles?
100,000 toggles?
101
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,256
Sheldon!
102
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:47,159
You see where
I'm going with this.
103
00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:49,394
Just flip the switch
104
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:52,497
until the lights on the drone
change to solid yellow.
105
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,700
All right,
that seems simple enough.
106
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,769
Initiating calibration sequence.
107
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,738
One, two, three, four,
108
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,508
five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.
109
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:09,481
Well, I suppose ten
is technically "at least ten."
110
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:14,186
But they're still getting
at least one angry letter.
111
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,024
Now I rotate
it horizontally
112
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,961
on its center axis until
the lights turn green.
113
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,030
Initiating rotation sequence.
114
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,002
Don't look at me, initiate.
115
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:34,906
Oh...
What does red
and yellow mean?
116
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,408
It means the
calibration failed.
117
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,909
We have to start over.
118
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:38,944
Oh. Very well.
119
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,747
Reinitiating
calibration sequence.
120
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,649
One, two, three, four,
121
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:47,019
five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten...
122
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,024
...eleven.
123
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,895
It's a good thing
I didn't send that letter.
124
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,833
(Skype ringtone plays)
125
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:05,604
Mm. Hello, Daddy. What's up?
126
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,906
Not much, just wanted to see
how my son's doing.
127
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,908
Very well, thank you.
128
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,010
Are you still dating
that dermatologist?
129
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,746
If you could feel
how soft my skin is,
130
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,449
you wouldn't have to ask.
131
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,585
Oh, and there's something else
I wanted to ask you.
132
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,790
Why did you spend a month's rent
on a toy helicopter?!
133
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:28,593
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
134
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,763
I'm tired of indulging
your foolish lifestyle.
135
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,265
It's time you learned
responsibility.
136
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,933
And the only way
to teach you that
137
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,268
is to cut off your allowance.
138
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,103
No, Daddy, no!
139
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,339
There are lots of other ways
to teach me responsibility.
140
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,007
I know, you can give me an egg
141
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,776
and make me take care of it
for a week!
142
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,978
No, my mind is made up.
143
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,380
Starting now,
you're on your own.
144
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:52,217
But, Daddy,
I-I miss my family so much,
145
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,486
and with you and Mummy
getting a divorce,
146
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,188
I feel sad and empty.
147
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,989
Buying a little toy
148
00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,659
every now and then
helps me fill that void.
149
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,994
So while I can't
hug you every day,
150
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,529
flying that helicopter...
151
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,864
I'm cutting you off.
152
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:09,801
Just to be clear,
financially or mid-sentence?
153
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,139
No red and yellow,
154
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,540
no red and yellow.
155
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:17,376
Yay!
It's green!
156
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:18,977
We did it!
157
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,245
Oh!
158
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:24,750
God, if it's this much fun to
rotate, imagine when we fly it.
159
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,486
Okay, now all I have to do
is rotate it vertically
160
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,822
until the lights turn off.
161
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,524
Oh, no!
Oh!
162
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,727
All right,
playtime's over.
163
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,329
Let's open
this baby up.
164
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,698
Won't that void the warranty?
165
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,869
Sheldon, I have a master's
degree in engineering.
166
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:47,239
I wipe my bottom
with warranties.
167
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,242
Except for AppleCare.
168
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,978
That pays for itself
in the long run.
169
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,348
Hi.
170
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,749
Hey, where'd you go?
171
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,852
I got you a little something
to cheer you up.
172
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:01,853
Really?
173
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,422
Sex last night,
pancakes this morning--
174
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,091
Am I dying?
(chuckles)
175
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,894
Just open it.
176
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:09,895
A cap and gown?
177
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,730
Why do I need a cap and gown?
178
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,699
Because you are giving
your commencement speech.
179
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,700
What are you talking about?
180
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:16,968
I called your old high school
181
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,405
and convinced them to let you
give your speech over Skype.
182
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,406
Really?
183
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,574
That's amazing!
184
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,609
And you gave me the robes
to give it in.
185
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,811
Thank you.
186
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:26,812
Yeah, now about those--
187
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,280
uh, they came from
a costume shop,
188
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,816
and all they had left
was sexy graduate,
189
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,883
so they...
190
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,653
might be a little short.
191
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,489
Short and sexy,
that's my wheelhouse.
192
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,057
Yeah!
193
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,236
Boy, oh, boy,
that's a lot of pieces.
194
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,071
You know
what they all do, right?
195
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,273
Yes, of course.
196
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,741
What about this one?
197
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,511
Well, I...
how familiar are you
198
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:02,013
with miniaturized
integrated logic circuits?
199
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:02,981
Not very.
200
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,149
That right there
is a miniaturized
201
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,217
integrated logic circuit.
202
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,622
So, can you
get it working?
203
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,291
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
204
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,794
I've built components
for the space station.
205
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:19,331
I thought the zero-gravity
toilet didn't work.
206
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,999
It worked fine,
207
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,002
it just wasn't designed
for Russian cosmonauts
208
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,605
and their potato-based diet.
209
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,206
Hey, guys.
210
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:29,774
Hey.
Hello.
211
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,676
I have to return the helicopter.
My father...
212
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,779
What did you do?!
213
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,182
Well, don't worry.
214
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,650
He went to MIT.
215
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,385
He can solve any problem,
216
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,788
as long as it doesn't originate
in a Russian man's colon.
217
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:52,030
I don't freaking
believe this!
218
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,298
Relax, it'll be fine.
219
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,066
No, you have to put
this back together
220
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,902
right now,
so I can return it!
221
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,570
You can't return it.
222
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:01,540
Howard wiped his bottom
with the warranty.
223
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,308
What?!
224
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,076
I think metaphorically.
225
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,379
But he was in the bathroom
for a while.
226
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,182
Howard, my father cut me off.
227
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,918
I have to get my money back
for this!
228
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,052
Calm down.
229
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,320
Okay.
230
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,222
Okay, you're right.
231
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,190
It's time for me to step up
232
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,926
and take responsibility
for my life.
233
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,161
Be a man.
234
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,767
Hello, Mummy.
235
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,235
Hello, Rajesh.
236
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,170
What a nice surprise.
237
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,238
Well, I've been
thinking about you.
238
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,406
How are you doing?
239
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,074
Are you happy, Mummy?
240
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,777
Such a sweet boy for asking.
241
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:42,914
Can't believe you come from
the poison seed of your father.
242
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,216
Well, I like to think
I take mostly after you.
243
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,851
Anyway,
speaking of Daddy,
244
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,187
I had a very strange
conversation with him.
245
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,389
He said he couldn't afford
to send me money anymore
246
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,725
because of
his active social life.
247
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:58,129
What does that mean,
"active social life"?
248
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,698
Well, let's not talk about him
249
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,967
or whatever shenanigans
he may or may not be up to.
250
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,201
Let's talk about you.
251
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:06,304
Rajesh, is your father
seeing someone?
252
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,973
All I know, Mummy, is that
253
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,142
he's a single wealthy doctor,
and now, for some reason,
254
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,312
there's no money
for your little boy.
255
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,617
Well, however much money
your father was giving you,
256
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:19,818
I'll give you more.
257
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,820
Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
258
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,788
(quietly):
Helicopters for everybody!
259
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,660
What's taking so long?
260
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,228
LEONARD: I don't think
this is gonna work.
261
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,296
Just let me see.
262
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,638
Sweetie, you know
you're supposed to wear clothes
263
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,239
underneath a graduation gown.
264
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,341
A: surprised you know that.
265
00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:47,612
B: I wanted to look like
a sexy graduate for you.
266
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,613
Oh.
267
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:49,781
Well, you do.
268
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,282
Oh. Thank you.
269
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,917
Yeah.
270
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,687
You're gonna be on Skype;
they're not gonna see your legs.
271
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,756
Well, I'm gonna go put on
some pants just in case.
272
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,325
But I have to say,
this is very freeing.
273
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,293
(chuckles)
274
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:05,597
Add a belt and I'll take you
someplace nice.
275
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:06,598
Oh.
276
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,667
Done and done.
277
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,509
Okay, I think
I've narrowed it down
278
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,478
to a faulty pin on
the onboard communication chip.
279
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,348
Very impressive.
280
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,183
You know, when you're
done with that,
281
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,053
can you look at this?
282
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,723
It doesn't make smoke anymore.
283
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,825
One toy at a time.
284
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,160
Mm. Sorry.
285
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,661
Ah, maybe it's for the best.
286
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,830
I hear locomotive smoke
287
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:42,801
is the second leading cause of
death among train aficionados.
288
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,169
What's the first one?
289
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,237
Suicide.
290
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,739
Wrong.
291
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,040
Obesity.
292
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,244
I have the tool you wanted.
293
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,679
Thank you.
294
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,581
You guys don't have
to go to the trouble.
295
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,916
I'm back in the money now;
296
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,317
I can just buy
another helicopter.
297
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,385
It's not about the money.
298
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,820
It's about solving a problem.
299
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,221
It's why I became an engineer.
300
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,690
It's what I like to do,
it's what I'm trained to do.
301
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,759
It's who I am.
302
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,495
Oh, look at you--
the little engineer that could.
303
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,232
Why don't you just
call tech support?
304
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,068
Hey!
Whoa!
Not cool!
305
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,269
What?
306
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,771
There's two kinds of
people in this world:
307
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,372
those who call
tech support
308
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,743
and those who make fun of the
people who call tech support.
309
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,277
I call tech support
all the time.
310
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,612
Ha-ha!
You call tech support!
311
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,314
What a baby!
312
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:33,351
And now, for our
commencement address,
313
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,854
one of our
most distinguished alumni,
314
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:40,792
noted Caltech physicist
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
315
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,965
Members of the faculty,
students,
316
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,701
I'm excited to speak
to you today.
317
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,136
I can't help but remember
318
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,204
the last time
I was in this auditorium.
319
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,639
Two guys from the lacrosse team
320
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:58,109
played keep-away
with my asthma inhaler.
321
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,579
But enough about
my ten-year reunion.
322
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:04,215
I'd also like
to take a moment
323
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,217
to thank
my beautiful fiancée
324
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,719
for to helping make
this speech possible,
325
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,654
even though weather
nearly prevented it.
326
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,257
Oh. Hello.
327
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,125
I-I didn't know
he was gonna point it at me,
328
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,095
so... don't do drugs
and stay in school.
329
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:17,929
They're graduating.
330
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,230
Okay, bye!
331
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,135
All right, the power
supply is reconnected.
332
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,403
I think we're
back in business.
333
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,339
Let's just run a few tests
before we take it outside.
334
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,941
Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Check.
335
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,142
GPS?
Check.
336
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,811
Battery charged?
Check.
337
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:36,281
Four hours of our lives gone?
Check.
338
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:37,448
All right.
339
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,683
All systems go.
340
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:39,684
In five...
341
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,453
...four, three, two, one.
342
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,155
(electrical crackle)
343
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,195
That's what my
train used to do.
344
00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:56,367
Ready to call
tech support?
345
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,937
Give me the number.
346
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,338
Probably wind up
347
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,974
talking to some foreign guy
348
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,945
who's reading from
the same manual I have.
349
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,682
(phone ringing)
350
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,954
It's my father, you jerks.
351
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:21,359
Hello, Daddy.
352
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,660
What did you say to your mother?
353
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:23,661
Nothing.
354
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,563
I was just calling to check in,
355
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:27,031
make sure she's doing okay.
356
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,466
Well, after talking to you,
357
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:31,569
she seems to think
I'm some sort of playboy.
358
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,037
Really?
359
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,007
I don't know where
she'd get an idea like that.
360
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:38,376
You know Mummy
and her crazy imagination.
361
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,746
I'm so lucky I take after you.
362
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:45,516
You think you take after me?
363
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,751
Well, I try to.
364
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,386
I certainly wouldn't
be a scientist
365
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,423
if you hadn't been
my role model.
366
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,060
Who wants to go to Vegas
in a real helicopter?!
367
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,833
It was L. Frank Baum who said,
368
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:07,005
"No thief, however skillful,
can rob one of knowledge,
369
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:12,076
and that is why knowledge is
the best and safest treasure."
370
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,380
Wow, I'm boring myself.
371
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,215
(sighs)
372
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,717
Sorry, I can't see
any of your faces right now,
373
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,653
but I bet they look like this.
374
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:30,295
Uh, you know,
I-I wrote an entire speech
375
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,530
to say how high school
prepares you
376
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,466
and what a wonderful
place it is,
377
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,902
but I hated it.
378
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,471
Maybe high school's great
if you look like this...
379
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:47,545
...but I didn't even feel like
I existed at that school.
380
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,114
And now that I think about it,
381
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,583
I bet a lot of you
feel the same way.
382
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:56,120
So, for the remainder
of my speech,
383
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,624
this is for the invisible kids.
384
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,727
Uh, maybe you never fit in.
385
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,263
Or maybe you're
the smallest kid in the school,
386
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,498
or the heaviest or the weirdest.
387
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,599
Maybe you're graduating
388
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,902
and you still haven't had
your first kiss.
389
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,071
By the way, 19;
390
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:16,341
and Geraldine Coco,
wherever you are, thank you.
391
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,144
Maybe you don't have
any friends.
392
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,014
And guess what? That's okay.
393
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,316
While all the popular kids
are off doing--
394
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,185
whatever, I don't know
what they were doing
395
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,586
'cause I was never there...
396
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,089
I'll-I'll tell you later.
397
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,925
My point is,
398
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:36,094
while you're spending
all this time on your own,
399
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,931
building computers
or practicing your cello,
400
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:43,868
what you're really doing
is becoming interesting.
401
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,938
And when people finally
do notice you,
402
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:50,108
they're gonna find someone
a lot cooler than they thought.
403
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,477
And for those of you
who were popular in high school,
404
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,947
it's over, sorry.
405
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,683
Thank you and congratulations.
406
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,656
TECH SUPPORT (recording):
Your call is important to us.
407
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,992
All our technicians are busy
helping other customers.
408
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,460
Please stay on the line
409
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,462
and someone will be
with you shortly.
410
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,231
(flute music playing)
411
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:23,107
What happened to me?
412
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:28,479
When did I become
an old man
413
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,815
baffled by modern
technology?
414
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,017
Next thing you know,
415
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,019
I'll be hitching my pants
up to my armpits
416
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,088
and complaining about
417
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:40,091
the awful music
the kids are listening to.
418
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,327
It is awful, isn't it?
419
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,329
Listen to that noise.
420
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,334
Hang on, hang on.
421
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:51,869
It's working!
I did it!
422
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:52,870
How'd you do that?
423
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,939
No idea, but
I did it!
424
00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:59,343
Maybe you shouldn't be
flying it inside.
425
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,545
Well, I'm not flying it!
426
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,712
Then who is?
I don't know!
427
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,148
Must be getting a WiFi signal
from somewhere else!
428
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,754
Initiate landing sequence!
Initiate landing sequence!
429
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,255
(screams)
430
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,758
Hey, the camera's working!
431
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,692
Oh, look, it's me.
432
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,761
(screams)
433
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,197
(tech support talking
indistinctly over phone)
434
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,667
Yes, it's a robot uprising!
Call the police!
435
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:32,143
So you really think
they liked it?
436
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,745
Oh, sweetie, it was
the best speech I...
437
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,315
(both scream)
438
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:40,384
Don't worry,
everyone in here is safe.