1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:04,770
Hey, would you like
to hear some songs
2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:08,207
I've rewritten to get children
interested in the hard sciences?
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,475
Sure.
Really?
4
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,477
Yeah. Well, I like
music, I like science,
5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:14,613
I like making fun
of Sheldon. Hit it.
6
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,950
♪ There was a scientist
who had a theory ♪
7
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,985
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
8
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,887
♪ J-A-M-E-S ♪
9
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,789
♪ C-L-E-R-K ♪
10
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,125
♪ Space M-A-X-W-E-L-L ♪
11
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,560
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
12
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,063
♪ There was a scientist
who had a theory ♪
13
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:33,632
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
14
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:34,767
♪ A-M-E-S ♪
15
00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:37,269
Uh, okay, okay.
Uh, we-we get it.
16
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,271
Perhaps you'd prefer this one.
(clears throat)
17
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:43,575
♪ The itsy bitsy spider
is not an insect at all ♪
18
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:45,444
♪ Because it has
eight legs ♪
19
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:48,814
♪ And two body parts ♪
20
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:52,151
That's pretty cool, Sheldon.
Thank you.
21
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,486
Do either of you know Beyoncé?
22
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,455
I'd love her to get behind it.
23
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,424
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hey.
24
00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,758
Hey.
Hey.
Hello.
25
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,827
You guys know the new
Discovery class missions
26
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,128
that NASA's been
working on?
Yeah.
27
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,397
Well, they're looking
to include a message from Earth
28
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,534
in case one of them
is encountered by alien life.
LEONARD: Oh.
29
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,536
When I encountered alien life,
I-I discovered
30
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:14,073
that the key thing
was not to sit in its spot.
31
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:17,843
All right, you can't breathe
our air without an inhaler,
32
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,578
he's allergic
to Earth nuts,
33
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,813
but I'm the alien.
34
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:22,815
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Anyway,
35
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:24,616
I'm among a handful
of scientists
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,885
that have been asked to submit
a design proposal
37
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,054
for the message
and its delivery system.
38
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:31,023
Excellent.
Congratulations.
Good for you.
39
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,092
And I was wondering
if any of you guys
40
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,060
would like
to help me do it.
41
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,262
Are you kidding? Yes.
What did you have in mind?
42
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,099
I'll tell you exactly what you
should do: avoid the presumption
43
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:43,102
of the Terran sensory
input paradigm.
WOLOWITZ: Yeah, absolutely.
44
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,970
You need a device capable
of delivering information
45
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,673
across a wide range
of perceptual modalities.
46
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:50,342
Any intelligent organism
would at the very least need
47
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,678
the ability to locate the
position of objects in space.
48
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,515
So the ideal interstellar
lingua franca would be haptic.
49
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,517
Ooh, how about a 3-D
tactile communicator rigged
50
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,185
for cross-sensory transposition?
51
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,453
Exactly what I expected.
52
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,155
Two people
forcing their ideas on me
53
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,957
and only one gentleman
who could be bothered
54
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,492
to ask me what my thoughts were.
55
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,494
You two are out.
Congratulations, Leonard,
56
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,129
you're on the team.
57
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:14,099
My mommy raised a gentleman.
58
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:17,703
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
59
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,006
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
60
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,674
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
61
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,377
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
62
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,880
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
63
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:30,582
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
64
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,484
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
65
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,186
♪ Bang! ♪
66
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,994
Hey. Thanks
for coming by.
67
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,795
Yeah. I'm excited to help.
68
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,464
I would have included
the others, but...
69
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,065
you know exactly
what would've happened.
70
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,468
They would've taken over the
project and bossed us around.
71
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,969
I get it.
72
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,438
Uh, just this morning, Sheldon
wouldn't let me put almond milk
73
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,773
on my Grape-Nuts because he said
74
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,809
it was
a theoretical nut conflict.
75
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,212
You should have told him
to mind his own business.
76
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,814
Yeah. That's better
than what I did say, which was,
77
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,551
"Fine, I'll eat them
with club soda."
78
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:09,087
What makes them think they're
always in charge of everything?
79
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,289
Mmm, they're alpha males.
80
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,924
(chuckles)
What does that make us?
81
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:13,959
We could be betas.
They're second in charge.
82
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:14,960
Okay, that sounds good.
83
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,261
Or we could be omegas.
84
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,964
They get pushed around
by the alphas and the betas.
85
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,300
Okay, that sounds like us.
86
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,569
Whatever. There's
no alphas here,
87
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,437
and this is
your project.
88
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,506
You're in charge.
How do you want to start?
89
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:30,342
I don't know.
How do you want to start?
90
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,612
I don't know.
91
00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:37,149
(sighs)
92
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,551
Should we call Sheldon
and Howard?
93
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,320
No. We can do this by ourselves.
94
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,055
Okay. Great.
How do you want to start?
95
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,456
I don't know.
How do you want to start?
96
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,231
Sheldon. Sheldon.
97
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,299
Sheldon.
98
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:03,775
I bet that started off
as a joke,
99
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,411
but by the third one
you realized
100
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:10,082
there was something
strangely enjoyable about it.
101
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:13,552
Yeah, I kind of want
to do it again.
102
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,121
I don't recommend it. You'll be
doing it the rest of your life.
103
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,859
Anyway, if you're looking for
Leonard, he's with Koothrappali.
104
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,494
Uh, no, I actually came
to talk to you.
105
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,796
How nice.
106
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,033
Here are some topics
that interest me:
107
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,236
quantum mechanics,
trains, flags...
No, no.
108
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,538
It's about my acting career.
Oh, sorry.
109
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,906
That's not on the list.
110
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,575
Well...
Oh, wait. No.
111
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,743
How about
we split
112
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,746
the difference
and discuss why Austria
113
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:44,449
was an archduchy
and not just a regular duchy.
114
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,419
Okay, look, here's the thing.
I like pharmaceutical sales--
115
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,721
it's going great-- but I have
an audition for a movie,
116
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,790
and if I get it,
it could screw everything up.
117
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,060
Hmm. I know
exactly what you should do.
118
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,296
Unfortunately,
I cannot tell you.
119
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,033
Well, why?
(sighs)
120
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,035
I'm attempting
to turn over a new leaf.
121
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,836
Earlier today,
it was pointed out to me
122
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,239
that I tend to force my ideas
on people.
123
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,776
You're really
not gonna tell me?
124
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:14,046
No, that train has left
the station.
125
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:15,213
Now, we can
play this
126
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,548
one of two ways.
127
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,217
You can say,
"Trains, tell me more,"
128
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,352
or...
129
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,421
you can just look at me
like that
130
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,189
and I'll start.
131
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,062
What's going on
in here?
132
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,065
I am making molecular cocktails.
133
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:36,868
This sphere is actually
a cosmopolitan.
134
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:37,903
(chuckles)
Oh.
135
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,171
How do you drink it?
136
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:42,107
Oh, just put it in your
mouth and pop it like a zit.
137
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,911
I think I'll have a beer.
138
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,479
First take a
picture with me.
139
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:50,482
Why?
Well, Raj and I always
talked about learning
140
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:54,920
how to make cocktails like this
together, so I taught myself
141
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,723
and I'm putting this on
Instagram so he can see it
142
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:01,226
and feel like a turd.
Say cheese.
143
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,995
Is this about the space probe
he's working on without you?
144
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,430
You betcha. The very one.
145
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,967
Howard, you're grown men.
146
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,136
You guys don't have
to do everything together.
147
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:15,006
I know. That's why I'm
spending tonight with you.
148
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,175
Trying to hurt Raj's feelings.
149
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,144
With my honeybunch.
150
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,013
You're being childish.
151
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,882
No. He is.
152
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,184
So I have a dominant
personality.
153
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,986
We all know that.
154
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,523
I'm sorry. What do we know?
155
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,525
In social groupings,
156
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:37,763
I just naturally wind up
in charge.
157
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,698
Don't take this the wrong way,
but how many
158
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,967
of these little booze balls
have you had?
159
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,803
You don't think I'm a leader?
160
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,205
I was kidding.
Of course you are.
161
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,474
Right. I couldn't change
if I wanted to.
162
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,544
You better not change,
because I love who you are.
163
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,147
Now, will you need help cleaning
all this up when you're done
164
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,115
or can you do it
all by yourself?
165
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,617
All by myself.
166
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,886
There's my big boss man.
167
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,926
So, often on the front
of the locomotive
168
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,962
is a large iron wedge
169
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,398
for clearing objects
off the tracks.
170
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,201
Now, while commonly
known as a cowcatcher,
171
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:19,971
I prefer the more
accurate "cow exploder."
172
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:24,109
Okay. Sheldon,
let me ask you a question.
173
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,278
Mmm.
If I was
at a train station
174
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,880
and one train could take me
to my current job
175
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,883
and the other train could take
me to an audition for a movie,
176
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,152
which train should I get on?
177
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:41,626
Are you using trains to trick me
into giving you advice?
178
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,262
No.
179
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,932
All right, then.
180
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,267
You should take a third train
181
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,603
where you audition
for the movie
182
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,538
but hold off
on making a career decision
183
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,407
until you have more information.
184
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,142
Oh. You're right.
185
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,511
I'm worried about something
that hasn't even happened yet.
186
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,912
Huh.
187
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,682
You are a wise man.
188
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,884
Well, Penny, who's smarter:
the wise man
189
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:10,055
or the person who comes to him
for advice?
190
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:12,924
Oh, I guess you're right.
191
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,193
Maybe it is the person who asks.
192
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,529
No, it's the wise man.
193
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:24,369
That's why he's called
the wise man.
194
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,738
You know how I know that?
195
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,074
I'm the wise man.
196
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,577
I'm sorry. What was I thinking?
197
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,212
Uh, just out
of curiosity,
198
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,715
why didn't you ask Leonard
for advice about this?
(groans)
199
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,149
'Cause I already know
what he'll say.
200
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:41,119
(whining voice):
"Wah, wah, wah,
you shouldn't do it."
201
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,421
It's just like he's here!
202
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,059
Okay, so we know
that previous attempts
203
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,295
to send a message into space,
like the Golden Record
204
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,464
on Voyager,
were heavily criticized.
205
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,065
Well, aliens could only play
the Golden Record
206
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,034
if they figured out
how to build a record player.
207
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,437
Eh. Although, to be fair,
I watched E.T. build a telephone
208
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,640
out of a Speak & Spell
and an umbrella.
209
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,844
Dude was like
a little brown MacGyver.
210
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:08,046
That would be more helpful
if E.T. were real.
211
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:13,118
Well, my feelings were real
when he was about to die.
212
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,556
My God, when he's on the table
and they use the paddles on him.
213
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,890
And he's all white.
214
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,659
They zip him up in that bag.
215
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,361
And Gertie can't stop crying.
216
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,163
The flower dies.
217
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,566
Okay, let's talk
about something else.
218
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,001
All right, all right.
So it-it sounds
219
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,470
like we need a way
to communicate that's simple.
220
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,406
And doesn't require
outside machinery
221
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,874
to be built to access it.
222
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,909
It's also a problem
because we don't even know
223
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,678
if the aliens
who find this can see.
224
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,879
I mean, they might
communicate
225
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,581
in a totally
different way than us.
226
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,616
Like when my dog is mad at me,
227
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,419
she tells me
by peeing in my slippers.
228
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:50,956
That's actually a valid example.
229
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,658
Animals do deliver messages
through scent.
230
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,360
Bees talk to each other
by dancing.
231
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,561
Whales have their songs.
232
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:59,164
Penny has about 20 different
ways of rolling her eyes
233
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,366
that each mean
something different.
234
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,768
Okay, so, what it
sounds like is,
235
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,170
what we want is a device
236
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,272
that can deliver a message
through not only sight,
237
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,740
but other senses, as well.
238
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,810
The most basic sense that any
space-faring civilization
239
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,912
would have to possess is touch.
240
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,981
Ooh. Ooh, ooh!
241
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,216
We could make
a video-playing device
242
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,285
that simultaneously translates
the information
243
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,020
into a tactile medium.
244
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,623
All we have to do is rig up
a 3-D communication system!
245
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,790
We-we can totally do that!
246
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,459
I know!
This is great!
247
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,593
Yeah, you know what else it is?
What?
248
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,261
Exactly what Sheldon
and Howard said.
249
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,233
Well, thank you
for peeing in my slippers.
250
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,907
♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪
251
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,043
♪ It's the ear of the bat ♪
252
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,379
♪ It's the whiskers
of the catfish ♪
253
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:50,248
♪ And the walrus... ♪
254
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:54,486
Hang on. Not that your song
isn't terrible-- it is...
255
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:59,524
...but how do you mention bats
and leave out sonar?
256
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,526
You didn't let me finish.
257
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,563
♪ And also regarding the bat ♪
258
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,699
♪ It has sonar. ♪
259
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,835
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hey.
260
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,970
Hello.
261
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,205
Look,
262
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,108
I know you guys are upset,
but we've talked about it,
263
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,710
and we think it'd be beneficial
264
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,845
for you to be part
of the project.
265
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:25,417
Well, well, well,
did you hear that, Sheldon?
266
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:27,919
I'm sorry. I was trying
to think of what rhymes
267
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,522
with "nose of the aardvark."
268
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,823
LEONARD:
We want you
269
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,025
back on the project with us.
270
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:39,030
Well, well, well, did
you hear that, Howard?
271
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,298
Look, we admit it.
272
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,867
The idea that you guys came
up with was really good,
273
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,836
and I'd love
your help.
274
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,872
I suppose it couldn't have been
easy for you to say that.
275
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,809
It wasn't, so...
are you in?
276
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,878
Certainly.
Sure.
Great.
277
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,181
Now that we're all
on the same page,
278
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,116
let's get together tonight
and work on it.
279
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,284
"Get together tonight"?
280
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,785
Leonard, stop trying
to control everything,
281
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,421
and give poor Raj a chance to
come up with what we should do.
282
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,589
Go ahead, Raj.
283
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,424
Okay, I think
we should do it right now.
284
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,792
Tonight works better for me.
285
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,128
Okay.
286
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,934
(sighs)
287
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,436
Okay, it's just an audition.
288
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,105
Why am I nervous?
289
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,473
Maybe it's a good thing.
290
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,374
Just means I want it.
291
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,943
And I can have it.
292
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,377
This feels right.
293
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,413
Why did I ever give this up?
294
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:35,754
I'm starting to remember.
295
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:40,692
So, I'd like
to try a technique
296
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,327
where no one gets steamrolled.
297
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,962
When you talk,
298
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,798
instead of bringing up
a new idea, respect what was
299
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,667
just said by building on it.
300
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,402
Uh, building on that...
Mm-hmm.
301
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:54,072
...we should order dinner.
302
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,407
How is that building
on what he just said?
303
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,911
Building on what Sheldon said,
I could go for Chinese.
304
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,613
Hang on.
Building on what Leonard said,
305
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,081
no one built on what I said.
306
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,949
Building on "building on that,"
307
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,152
there's a new build-your-own
pizza place on Colorado.
308
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,821
Building on that,
I'd like to remind you,
309
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:10,989
I'm lactose intolerant.
310
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,824
I saw the menu.
They have soy cheese.
311
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,093
Ha, ha! You didn't say
"building on." You're out!
312
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,895
It's not Simon Says.
313
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,563
Yeah, you're missing
the point, Sheldon.
You're out, and you're out.
314
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,964
I win! Who wants pizza?
315
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,970
Penny?
316
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,405
Oh, hey.
Hey.
317
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,240
I haven't seen you
auditioning in a while.
318
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:32,010
Yeah, uh, I got a job
as a pharmaceutical sales rep.
319
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,078
You quit acting?
Well, kind of.
320
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,647
But now I get to act like
321
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:39,417
inflamed heart is only
a "mild side effect." (laughs)
322
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,686
I heard you can make
good money doing that.
323
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,556
Yeah, it's going okay,
but I do miss this sometimes.
324
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,090
Really?
Mmm.
325
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:48,393
'Cause I got to tell
you, I am so sick
326
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:51,429
of the humiliation and being
treated like a piece of meat.
327
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,299
Chelsea?
Wish me luck. (laughs)
328
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,269
They're gonna
love you.
329
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:02,540
I heard she's pushing 40
and everything's fake.
330
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,743
Yeah. I started
that rumor.
331
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,782
Okay, since we agree
on the delivery system
332
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,383
for the message,
maybe we should talk
333
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,751
about what the message could be.
334
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,554
Well, I think we should show
what earthlings look like.
335
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,023
The plaque they sent up on the
Pioneer probe had a drawing
336
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,692
of a naked man
and woman on it.
337
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,160
Yeah, I never cared for that.
338
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,696
It's advertising
to predator races
339
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:28,533
just how soft
and squishy we are.
340
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,568
Squeeze yourself!
341
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,836
Oh, don't be offended.
342
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,471
You know, of
the four of us,
343
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,273
you have the most
veal-like consistency.
344
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:39,477
Well, maybe there's a way
to appear nonaggressive,
345
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,946
but also be able to protect
ourselves if necessary.
346
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,515
Like smiling and waving
with one hand,
347
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:47,819
but the other hand holding
the severed head of a tiger.
348
00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,787
You want to send
a passive-aggressive message
349
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,955
out into the universe?
350
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:52,156
That's ridiculous.
351
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,791
Oh, you mean passive-aggressive
352
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,760
like posting pictures
of you and your wife
353
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,095
eating cosmopolitan balls
354
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,764
that you know belong
in my mouth?
355
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,801
Perhaps Howard meant
passive-aggressive
356
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,471
like asking our group
to help on your project,
357
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,172
and then only
choosing Leonard.
358
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,009
(sighs) Look, I'm sorry
I hurt your feelings,
359
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,478
but you do have
strong personalities
360
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,380
and always end up taking over.
361
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,748
It's not always.
362
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,483
What about when we went
to Comic-Con
363
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,018
and dressed like Jabba the Hutt?
364
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,520
You got to be Jabba's head,
and I got to be
365
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,589
his fat slug butt.
366
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:28,927
We looked great.
367
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,062
You let a guy sit on me.
368
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,730
He was dressed as Princess Leia.
369
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,699
It made a nice picture.
370
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:40,171
I'm just saying, sometimes Raj
and I feel pushed aside.
371
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,640
Yeah. Like when you
took Sheldon to Texas
372
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,208
and showed him all around NASA--
373
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,377
you didn't even think
to ask me and Leonard.
374
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,313
You know what?
You're right.
375
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,114
I should have asked you.
376
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,250
Yeah, and if he does
ask you, go.
377
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,085
It's amazing.
378
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:56,821
Okay, and if
we're talking
379
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,323
about being left
out of things,
380
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,258
you guys went to Skywalker
Ranch without us.
381
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,726
Oh, I recommend that, too.
382
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,028
That was a magical
experience!
383
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:05,463
LEONARD:
Wait a minute.
384
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,665
Sheldon spent a whole day
with James Earl Jones
385
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,967
and never told any of us.
386
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,802
I sure did.
387
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,303
Oh, my goodness!
388
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,506
Well, from Jabba's head
to ice cream with Darth Vader,
389
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,709
I'm having a heck of a ride.
390
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:18,843
Yeah, look,
391
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,144
clearly, good
things happen
392
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,546
when I'm in charge.
393
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,880
Now, why don't
394
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,783
you boys step aside,
let me knock this project out?
395
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:26,985
Sheldon,
396
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,152
you're not in charge.
397
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,520
Raj is in charge.
398
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,589
Leonard, who's
really in charge?
399
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:36,194
The person in charge, or
those who put him in charge?
400
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,562
He's right.
401
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,731
If you think about it,
we're all in charge.
402
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,299
No, the guy in charge is in...
403
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,102
Why is everyone so bad
at these?!
404
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,238
I mean, the whole experience
reminded me
405
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,407
about how much
I hated about that world.
406
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,809
You-you know, the anxiety,
the depression, the negativity.
407
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,811
I don't want
to feel those things.
408
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:58,116
I want to sell drugs to people
who feel those things.
409
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,318
I can't believe you got up
and walked out
410
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,553
of an audition for a big movie.
411
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:03,888
I did.
412
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,690
I-I mean, I walked in,
read for the part,
413
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,959
then stunk up the place,
but then I walked right out.
414
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,261
Well, I'm glad
415
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,230
you have a new
appreciation for your job.
416
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,998
I do, and you know,
I don't think
417
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,100
I've ever thanked you properly
for helping me get it.
418
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,935
Properly, at all.
419
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,972
It's just words
I've never heard.
420
00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:22,140
Well, thank you.
421
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,242
You're a good friend,
and you changed my life.
422
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,910
You're welcome.
423
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,545
Hey, now that
you're making some real money,
424
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,014
maybe you can take your friend
out for a nice thank-you dinner.
425
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:32,617
Sure.
426
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,385
And you probably have
to invite your other friend
427
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,753
'cause she overheard you
talking about it,
428
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,822
and it would be awkward
to exclude her.
429
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,757
Okay.
430
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,858
How about now?
431
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,994
All right.
432
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:46,831
Don't forget your wallet.
433
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,866
I... (groans)
434
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,477
Greetings from planet Earth.
435
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,314
Just turn left
at Alpha Centauri.
436
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,216
You can't miss it.