1
00:00:02,334 --> 00:00:04,937
Leonard, I've been working
on an opening joke
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,438
for our lecture at Berkeley.
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,606
Oh, I like to laugh.
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,008
But say it anyway.
5
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:12,077
Okay, um...
6
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,747
What do you say
to a graduate
7
00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:17,049
of the UC Berkeley
physics department?
8
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,485
I'll have fries with that.
(chuckles)
9
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,588
Because his education
hasn't prepared him
10
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,323
for a career in the sciences.
11
00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,293
You know, when they chase
you out of there,
12
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:29,862
you only have to run
faster than Sheldon.
13
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:32,064
Are you all set
for your trip?
14
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,399
Yeah, I think so.
15
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,635
I just restocked the old PRK.
16
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:37,636
"PRK"?
17
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,038
Public restroom kit.
18
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,908
Everything a boy needs
for making pee pee
19
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,110
in new and strange places.
20
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,679
I don't see what's crazy
about bringing a backpack
21
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,948
with your own toilet paper
and Purell.
22
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:52,117
Keep going.
23
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,853
And rubber gloves,
uh, air freshener.
24
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,423
Um, noise-cancelling
headphones.
25
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,991
Oh, danger whistle.
26
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,259
Um...
27
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,660
pepper spray.
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,563
Ooh, a multi-language
"occupied" sign.
29
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,031
Uh, let's see.
30
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:09,368
We have seat protectors,
uh, booties for my shoes,
31
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,437
a clothespin for my nose.
32
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,773
Oh, and a mirror on a stick,
33
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:17,109
so I can make sure the person
in the stall next to me
34
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,844
isn't some kind of weirdo.
35
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,750
You still worried some Berkeley
girl is gonna steal him away?
36
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,153
Yes, who do you think gave him
the danger whistle?
37
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,792
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
38
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:37,096
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
39
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,764
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
40
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,467
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
41
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,969
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
42
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,705
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
43
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,574
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
44
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,275
♪ Bang! ♪
45
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,785
Would you like to play
a physics car game I invented
46
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,653
called "I Can't Spy"?
47
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,124
It's all the nail-biting
tension of "I Spy"
48
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:08,127
but the added fun of subatomic
particles and waves
49
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,229
outside the visible
spectrum.
50
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,897
If it's half as much fun as
51
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,899
"One Times Ten to the Fourth
Bottles of Beer on the Wall,"
52
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,567
I'm in.
53
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,236
I'll begin.
54
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:21,640
Uh, I can't spy
with my little eye...
55
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:25,611
...something passing
right through us.
56
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,279
That soy Frappuccino I had.
57
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,413
(chuckles)
58
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,249
Will you please
play the game?
59
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,885
I can't spy
with my little eye
60
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,887
something passing
right through us.
61
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:37,055
I don't know, um...
62
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,725
If 65 billion
solar neutrinos pass
63
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:41,793
through a square centimeter
every second,
64
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,795
given the surface
area of this car is
65
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,697
about 60,000
square centimeters,
66
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:50,269
that means 3.9 times ten
to the 15th solar neutrinos?
67
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:54,840
I don't want
to play anymore.
68
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,543
We haven't been on a road trip
in a while.
69
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,810
This is fun.
70
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,279
We get it-- you won the game.
71
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,114
Stop bragging.
72
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:04,283
No, listen, we wrote
a paper together.
73
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,951
Now we get to go to a university
and talk about it?
74
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,352
That's pretty cool.
75
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,155
I suppose it is.
76
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:14,660
In fact, if you'd like to
celebrate with a little music,
77
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,328
I'd be okay with that.
78
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,064
What...?
79
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,534
This road trip just got crazy.
80
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,771
Play that funky music,
white boy.
81
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,808
I'm surprised you know
that reference.
82
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,611
What reference?
83
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,750
So, I put stickers
on everything we're gonna sell.
84
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,686
We just need help taking it
all out to the driveway.
85
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:41,987
Can I be in charge
of pricing?
86
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,556
I've been going to garage
sales my whole life.
87
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,625
Can you believe I got these
pantyhose for a nickel?
88
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:51,697
All right, Amy's in charge
of pricing and being 75.
89
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,067
Hey, Penny, can you
give me a hand with this?
90
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,235
Sure.
91
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,836
Aw, we had one of
these growing up.
92
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,304
I used to play
all the time.
93
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,073
Oh, yeah?
I love Ping-Pong.
94
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:03,175
Oh, I meant beer pong.
95
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:05,978
I had a table, too,
96
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,547
but I didn't have any friends,
so all I did was serve.
97
00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:12,351
You know, you can leave one
side up and play against it.
98
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:15,120
And if I had a friend,
they might have told me that.
99
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,491
Excuse me.
100
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,660
Why is there a sticker on this?
101
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,528
It's my TARDIS
from Doctor Who.
102
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,597
I was planning on
moving it in the house.
103
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,666
I think you just answered
your own question.
104
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,770
Come on, one day,
this may double in value
105
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,439
and be worth half
what I paid for it.
106
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,108
Sweetie, we have a lot to do.
107
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,843
We don't need
to decide this right now.
108
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,846
Well, I guess as long as
you're keeping an open mind.
109
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,581
Of course.
110
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,788
♪ ♪
111
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,766
So... they're requesting
112
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:04,036
that the white boy play
the funky music, yes?
113
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,038
Yes.
114
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:11,009
And this music we're listening
to right now is funky as well?
115
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,279
Sure.
116
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,947
Let me ask you this.
117
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,482
Do you think
118
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,953
this song is the music
the white boy ultimately plays?
119
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,791
It could be.
120
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:29,461
So it's like the musical
equivalent of Russell's Paradox,
121
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:32,130
the question of whether
the set of all sets
122
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:35,334
that don't contain themselves
as members contains itself?
123
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,269
Exactly.
Well...
124
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:38,603
then I hate it.
125
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:39,905
Music should just be fun.
126
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:42,674
(music stops)
127
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,343
Making great time.
128
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,478
Gonna be there pretty early.
129
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,113
Will our hotel room
be ready?
130
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,414
I doubt it.
131
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,084
Aren't you worried
that sitting in the lobby
132
00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:54,586
for a long period of time
might attract the attention
133
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,356
of the hotel detective?
134
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,091
If we do,
135
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:02,594
we'll just tell him
to "hit the bricks, see?"
136
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,965
Seems a little confrontational,
but all right.
137
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:10,936
You know,
we won't be very far
138
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,270
from Skywalker Ranch.
139
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,272
Oh, that's true.
140
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,108
It's not like
we can get in there.
141
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,210
Why not?
142
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,212
I-I don't think George Lucas
put his headquarters
143
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:23,181
in the middle of nowhere because
he wanted people dropping in.
144
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:27,519
Yoda's swamp was
in the middle of nowhere.
145
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,688
Tatooine was in the middle
of nowhere.
146
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,757
Hoth was in the middle
of nowhere.
147
00:06:33,359 --> 00:06:34,860
That's code, Leonard.
148
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,928
He wants us
to drop in.
149
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:40,899
We do have time.
150
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,702
I mean, we could drive by
and just look at it.
151
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,804
Yes! Oh...
152
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,472
I'm so excited.
153
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,908
And I just can't hide it.
154
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:53,645
"I'm about to lose control,
and I think I like it."
155
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,582
What are you
talking about?
156
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,690
So when do you guys think
you're gonna move in?
157
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,693
We're still figuring how much
remodeling we want to do.
158
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:10,695
It's tricky finding
the right balance
159
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,863
between "tasteful modern"
160
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,533
and "Jewish mother
tchotchke crapfest."
161
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,036
Have you made a decision
about the TARDIS?
162
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:21,106
I think I can sell it if we call
it, "Big British Porta-Potty."
163
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:26,244
We're not selling
it-- it's mine.
164
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,913
You can't just decide.
165
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,648
How about I arm-wrestle you?
166
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,082
That's not fair.
167
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,886
It's like me challenging you
to a sexy pants contest.
168
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:37,689
You could play
Ping-Pong for it.
169
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,324
I would do that.
170
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,325
How is that fair?
171
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,560
You grew up
with a table.
172
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,062
Yes, but I mostly used it
as a battlefield
173
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,898
in an ongoing war between the
Transformers and the ThunderCats
174
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,301
for control of a bra
I had found in the woods.
175
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,538
Bernadette, for every episode
of Doctor Who
176
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,906
Leonard has made me sit through,
177
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,241
I will play on your behalf
178
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,243
and send that TARDIS
back to Gallifrey,
179
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,312
where I hate
that I know it belongs.
180
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,814
Yes, Penny
plays for me.
181
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,717
That's not fair--
she has upper body muscles.
182
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:10,088
Dude, three-time
Sanskriti School
183
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,824
for Well-Born Boys
badminton champion.
184
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,760
That's right-- okay,
Raj can play for me.
185
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,462
Ooh, you just chose champions.
186
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,464
It's like we're reenacting
the ancient German practice
187
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,466
of trial by combat.
PENNY: Yeah,
it's also like
188
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,768
when the Mountain fought the
Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
189
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,504
Leonard makes you
watch that, too?
190
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,005
No, no, I like that show.
191
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,740
It's got dragons
and people doing it.
192
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,142
WOLOWITZ:
So it's settled.
193
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,879
The fate of Doctor Who's TARDIS
will be decided
194
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,348
by a Game of Thrones inspired
death-match on the battlefield
195
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:39,351
of ThunderCats
versus Transformers.
196
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:42,554
If you still have that bra,
I'll give you a nickel for it.
197
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,696
There it is.
198
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,699
It's just a gate.
199
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,702
On a road.
200
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,838
Wasn't even that
hard to find.
201
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,142
This is so amazing!
202
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,877
I know!
203
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,580
You want to
get a picture?
204
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,081
I want more than a picture.
205
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,416
I want to go in.
206
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,084
Well, so do I, but
they'll never let us.
207
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,488
Is that the attitude
that helped you get Penny?
208
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,490
No, but I don't have three years
209
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,625
to make that gate
feel sorry for me.
210
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,596
Uh, there's
a speaker box.
211
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:27,999
Drive up, push the button,
and let's see what happens.
212
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:30,669
Okay, yeah.
213
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,104
What do we
have to lose?
214
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,614
I'm a little nervous.
215
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,283
Well, get over it.
216
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,953
Confidence is key
in these situations.
217
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,688
Right.
218
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,358
(gasps) You pushed it--
are you out of your mind?!
219
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,994
MAN:
May I help you?
220
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,028
Um...
221
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,197
Uh, uh... we don't
have an appointment,
222
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,532
and-and we don't
belong here,
223
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,867
but we-we're, like,
crazy-big fans.
224
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,536
I mean...
(stammers)
225
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,538
"crazy for Star
Wars" crazy,
226
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:09,541
not crazy like we have a
backpack full of duct tape,
227
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:10,875
although we do
have a backpack
228
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:12,944
that you really don't
want to look in.
229
00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:17,215
You're blowing it.
230
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,883
We want to meet
George Lucas
231
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:21,286
and become his friends
and play with him!
232
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,156
Hello?
233
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,891
This speaker's not working,
just pull up.
234
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,531
And that's how it's done.
235
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:46,578
All right, we've defeated
the first challenge.
236
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,749
Now we must steel ourselves
to face the monster
237
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,018
who defends the gate.
238
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,687
We're trying to get past
a security guard,
239
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,422
not rescue Zelda.
240
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:01,726
I think what really needs to be
rescued is your sense of whimsy,
241
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,628
but one quest at a time.
242
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,465
So what's the plan?
243
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,734
Uh, I'm just gonna be honest
with the guy.
244
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,070
Honesty will never
get us in.
245
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,738
Well, what's
your plan?
246
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:17,075
All right, my plan is
predicated on the assumption
247
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,077
that they have
a nurse's office
248
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,813
and your willingness
to be lightly stabbed.
249
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:31,423
Who are you here to see?
250
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:32,924
Uh, I'm just gonna
tell you the truth.
251
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,493
Oh, you are killing me.
252
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,495
We don't have
an appointment.
253
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,497
We-we're just fans
of Mr. Lucas's work,
254
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,832
and we thought
we'd take a shot
255
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,801
and see if we could get in
and look around.
256
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,235
Sorry, guys, we get this a lot.
257
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,370
Can't let you in.
258
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:49,140
What if I told you
that I was the voice of Yoda?
259
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,345
(imitating Yoda): A recording
session I must attend.
260
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,248
I'm sorry, don't
listen to him.
261
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,917
We're actually
physicists.
262
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,919
We're giving a lecture
at Berkeley later today.
263
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,921
We just... we had
some time to kill.
264
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,090
GUARD: Hey, listen, you
seem like decent guys.
265
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,424
I can't let you in,
266
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,960
but I got some hats and T-shirts
I can give you.
267
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,795
Thank you so much.
268
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,464
See?
269
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:13,698
Maybe honesty is the best...
(door opens)
270
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,699
What are you doing?
271
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,367
Shedding the yoke
of my oppressors,
272
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,436
you blind,
sad little man.
273
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,705
Don't move!
274
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,807
Code A-A-23, A-A-23.
275
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,142
GUARD 2:
Copy.
276
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,144
SHELDON (gasps):
I can see the ranch, Leonard!
277
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,813
Oh, it's rustic,
it's lovely.
278
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:31,549
I'd take a picture,
but people are chasing me.
279
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,486
I'm gonna make it...!
280
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,820
I'm gonna make it!
281
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,156
They have Tasers,
but they wouldn't dare use...
282
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,491
(Sheldon screams)
283
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:40,959
(thuds)
284
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:44,763
Come on, Raj.
285
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,433
You are the King Kong
of Ping-Pong.
286
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:52,103
You are the menace
of table tennis.
287
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,273
Put her away,
'cause I don't have a third one.
288
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,075
Yes!
Yes!
289
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,076
(whoops)
290
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,545
Rajesh eight, Penny four.
291
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,547
Sorry,
he's really good.
292
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,682
Hey, Raj.
293
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,917
if Howard can't
keep the TARDIS,
294
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,552
how great would it
look at your place?
295
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,553
What?
296
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,088
Yeah, what?
297
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,423
I don't know much
about Doctor Who,
298
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,425
but if, um, you were to put this
299
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:18,429
right outside your front door
and open up the back,
300
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,432
it would be like
your entire apartment was
301
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,168
the inside of the TARDIS,
302
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,936
which is pretty cool
303
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,272
'cause on the show,
the inside of the TARDIS
304
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:30,275
is bigger than the outside.
305
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:34,012
But then again, I don't know
much about Doctor Who.
306
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,915
Don't listen to her.
307
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,584
You and I go way back--
we're like brothers.
308
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,187
We are. We are.
309
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,521
(clears throat)
310
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,456
Oh, no!
311
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,724
What a terrible serve!
312
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:50,428
Sorry, brother.
313
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,763
Eight-five.
This is ridiculous.
314
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:53,097
I want a new champion.
315
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,834
Amy, were you serious
about being able to serve?
316
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,169
Uh, it-it's been
a long time.
317
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,171
I don't know.
318
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,973
I'm probably
pretty rusty.
319
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:06,845
Wow.
320
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:07,979
She's my champion!
321
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,981
Well, if you can switch
champions, so can I.
322
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,449
I want Raj.
Hey.
323
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,218
Oh, come on, like
you even care.
324
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,552
I care!
325
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,287
Oh, wait, no, I don't.
Good luck, Raj.
326
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,758
You know, I thought our
friendship meant more to you.
327
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,261
So did I.
328
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,371
Do you think
they're gonna call the police?
329
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,373
I don't know.
330
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,709
Maybe they'll call Imperial
Officers to take us
331
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,777
to a holding cell
on the Death Star.
332
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:46,017
Oh, I think that's below the pay
grade of an Imperial Officer.
333
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,352
Stormtroopers are really
the ones who...
334
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,887
Oh, shut up.
335
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,890
He's right.
336
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,892
Uh, Stormtroopers actually
combine both the function
337
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,027
of infantry and military police.
338
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,331
Uh-huh, I'm normally
very nice,
339
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,966
but you shut up, too.
340
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,341
So...
341
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,177
what are you in for?
342
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:16,848
Honestly, I just wanted to meet
Mr. Lucas and say thank you.
343
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:20,285
You know, growing up, the movies
had such an impact on my life.
344
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,687
I never really fit in anywhere.
345
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,689
Till I discovered
the worlds he created
346
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:27,325
and finally found a place
where I belong.
347
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,762
But why are you here?
348
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,430
Oh, I, uh, I hopped a fence,
349
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,098
and they caught me
in the sculpture gallery
350
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,701
making out
with a Chewbacca statue.
351
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,309
Excuse me.
352
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,686
Leonard,
353
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,821
they have a
sculpture gallery.
354
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:03,294
All right, I talked
to my supervisor,
355
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,629
and we're gonna let you go
with a warning.
356
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,364
(sighs in relief)
But if you ever
come back,
357
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,966
we will call the police
and press charges.
358
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:08,967
We understand.
359
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:09,968
Thank you so much.
360
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,602
Uh, what about me?
361
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,971
No, you're not going
anywhere, kissy face.
362
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,639
Let's go.
363
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,642
I have to take your picture
to post at the guard gate.
364
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,643
Uh, one question
365
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,211
about that picture.
366
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,813
Can it be with
George Lucas?
367
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,616
(imitating Yoda):
Ooh, grumpy you are.
368
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:33,725
Okay, this is the match
that decides it all.
369
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:35,059
First to 11 wins.
370
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,895
Serve switches
every five points.
371
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,397
And just so you know,
when this started,
372
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,066
I was going to put the TARDIS in
a discreet corner of the house,
373
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,735
but I've since turned
mean, and now it's going
374
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,236
right in the middle
of the living room
375
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,904
on a rotating platform with
a sign that says "suck it."
376
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:47,972
Game on.
377
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,809
Except...
378
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,145
Raj is gonna win.
379
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,480
Isn't that right, Raj?
380
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,016
Uh, yeah, I mean,
her serve was pretty good.
381
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,517
Come on, get
in her head.
382
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,718
Be intimidating.
383
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,720
Okay, uh...
384
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:03,988
I'm gonna own you, bitch!
385
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,490
Whoa!
Hey!
386
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,958
That's not nice.
387
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:09,861
Let's just play.
388
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,366
One-zero.
389
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,868
WOLOWITZ:
Two.
390
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,536
Three.
391
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,405
Four.
392
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,273
Five-nothing.
393
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,608
(chuckles)
Wait,
394
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:24,942
did you play badminton
395
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,578
or sad-minton?
396
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,614
Don't listen to him--
all she's got is a serve.
397
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,017
Now, grab a fresh tampon
and put her away.
398
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,018
Wha...?
399
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,520
A-And that's not offensive?
400
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,554
Where's the line?
401
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,589
It's in your purse. Play.
402
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:42,493
BERNADETTE:
One-five.
403
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,596
Two-five.
404
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,697
Three-five.
405
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,266
Four-five.
406
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,468
Five-five!
407
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,871
Six.
408
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,139
Seven.
409
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,974
Eight. Nine.
410
00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:00,044
Ten-five!
411
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,481
Six.
412
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,485
Seven.
413
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,187
Eight.
414
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,155
Nine.
415
00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,092
Ten-ten!
416
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,030
Well, that was
an exciting 40 seconds.
417
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,567
It was, and now
the serve is back to you,
418
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,202
and the game is over.
419
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,539
You know, Amy,
I, uh...
420
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,541
can't help but wonder
how Sheldon would react
421
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,610
if the TARDIS was
at your place.
422
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:35,613
Don't listen to her,
just hit the ball.
423
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:37,982
Keep talking.
424
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:44,689
If this doesn't get him
into your bedroom,
425
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,224
nothing will.
426
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,265
Are you still
mad at me?
427
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:58,002
Yes, we missed our lecture,
we were almost arrested,
428
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,004
and you got me locked
in a room with a man
429
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:04,342
who forced his tongue down the
throat of a stuffed Wookiee.
430
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,712
Boy, some people are just
glass-half-empty.
431
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,314
The glass is
empty, Sheldon.
432
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,649
It's completely empty.
433
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,651
If you gave that glass to a
man who was dying of thirst,
434
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,653
he would be dead,
do you know why?
435
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,623
Before I answer,
was he a smoker?
436
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,530
I think you're looking
at this all wrong.
437
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,199
Fine, then tell me
how I should be looking at it.
438
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:32,503
Well, not only did we go to
Skywalker Ranch, we got in.
439
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,805
No one we know
can say that.
440
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:38,142
And for all the times
you find me irritating,
441
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:41,212
today you got to watch
someone shoot me with a Taser.
442
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:47,318
That part was pretty good.
443
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,020
See?
444
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,956
You did flop around a lot.
445
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,292
I'll take your word for it.
446
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,228
I was too busy
trying not to defecate.
447
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,532
You know, when they were
escorting us
448
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,735
to the detaining room,
I looked through a door,
449
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,737
and I'm pretty sure
I saw a display case
450
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,706
with the Ark
of the Covenant.
451
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,042
That's amazing.
(chuckling):
I know.
452
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,345
And I saw Jabba the Hutt
riding by on a motorcycle.
453
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:16,747
Although that was
right after the Tasing,
454
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,616
so who can
say for sure?
455
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,987
I-I guess this could count
as an adventure.
456
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,322
It was.
457
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,991
And even though we're
not allowed back there,
458
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,093
they can never take
today away from us.
459
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,996
Unlike my sense
of smell,
460
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,398
which hasn't returned
since the Tasing.
461
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,168
(sniffs)
462
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,569
No, I got nothing.
463
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:48,446
(panting): Amy, the Daleks
are right on my tail!
464
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,781
Quick, we need to reset
the time circuits.
465
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,851
Oh, no, I left my sonic
screwdriver behind.
466
00:20:56,355 --> 00:21:00,424
Really should have
thought this through.