1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:06,605
This is an easy one.
You love this guy.
2
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,173
Me.
3
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:12,945
Come on, he's an
underappreciated genius.
4
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,314
Still think it's me.
5
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,949
It's not you.
6
00:00:16,951 --> 00:00:19,685
Now think, there's
a car named after him.
7
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,120
Of course there is.
8
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,921
The Mini Cooper,
'cause it's me.
9
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,992
How about this:
10
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,161
he's a poor man's
Sheldon Cooper.
11
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,763
Oh, Tesla.
12
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:32,865
Hi.
Hey!
13
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,299
How'd it go?
Hello.
Oh, not fun.
14
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:37,503
The doctor shoved a camera
up into my sinuses.
15
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,638
Yeah, I watched. It was like
the scary boat tunnel
16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,540
in Willy Wonka.
17
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,144
Did they figure out
what's wrong?
Yeah.
18
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,145
It's a deviated septum.
19
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,012
The surgery
to correct it is simple.
20
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,313
He's gonna do it next week.
21
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,182
Why would you have surgery?
22
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,984
Because I can't breathe.
23
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,553
I snore, I get sinus
infections...
24
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,989
Yeah, back off,
he's all mine.
25
00:00:56,991 --> 00:00:59,224
But you don't have
a life-threatening condition.
26
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,060
Why would you
take the risk of surgery?
27
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,995
Sheldon, it's a routine
procedure.
28
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:05,064
I've heard you complain
about his snoring.
29
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,332
We... Yes, for the first
five or six years,
30
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,234
but I've gotten used to it.
31
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,236
It helps me sleep.
32
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,806
He's like my mucus-powered
white noise machine.
33
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:17,009
Sheldon, I'm gonna get
the surgery, it's no big deal.
34
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,177
End of story.
35
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,212
Very well.
I'm done talking about it.
36
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,047
Thank you.
I believe it was
your turn in the game.
37
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,315
Okay.
38
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,351
Let's see...
39
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:29,021
Oh, this person is most famous
40
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:30,355
for never having gotten
41
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:33,225
his nose mutilated
with elective surgery
42
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,727
and never living the rest
of his life in the shadows
43
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,329
as a hideous, disfigured freak.
44
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,033
I think you could
give a better clue.
45
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,234
I don't.
46
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,270
I'm not even sure if
that's a person or a typo.
47
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:50,042
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
48
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:53,545
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
49
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,080
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
50
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,950
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
51
00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:00,219
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
52
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,055
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
53
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,124
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
54
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,825
♪ Bang! ♪
55
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,166
(snoring)
56
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,614
Okay, why?
57
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,816
I'm listening to you snore.
58
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,986
I'm wondering how
I'll ever sleep without it.
59
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,755
If it helps you sleep,
60
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,590
then why are you sitting here
staring at me
61
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,859
like the albino boogeyman?
62
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,263
Really, Leonard-- insults?
63
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,831
After I spent two hours
in your closet,
64
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,232
waiting for you to fall asleep?
65
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,770
What's your problem?
66
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:55,774
If the surgery is successful,
the snoring is gone.
67
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,243
And if you die during surgery...
68
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,547
...the snoring is gone.
69
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:06,318
It sounds like either way,
I finally get some rest.
70
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,153
I have to be honest
with you Leonard,
71
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,821
I'm truly worried.
72
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,658
I-I told you, there's
nothing to worry about.
73
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,459
Well, I've been
doing some research
74
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:16,795
and I've learned that
one in 700,000 people
75
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,131
die from general anesthesia.
76
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:21,800
Buddy, w... Do you realize that
that also means
77
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:25,537
699,999 people don't die?
78
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,408
I suppose that's true.
79
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,712
You're such a glass
half-full kind of guy.
80
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,916
I'm going to miss that.
81
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:43,989
Oh, so, my, uh, parents'
40th anniversary's coming up
82
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,158
and I can't think
of a thing to get them.
83
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,492
Damn, can you imagine
84
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:51,230
being married to someone
for 40 years?
85
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:55,968
Not anymore.
86
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,674
Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
87
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,876
Well, what are some
of the things they like?
88
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,346
They used to like
going to the Mumbai Symphony,
89
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,681
but last year my mom thought
they were phoning it in.
90
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,849
Then my dad said
based on their
91
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,785
love life, she should know
about phoning it in.
92
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,723
He said that to her?
Well, they weren't
speaking at the time,
93
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,424
so he had a servant
say it to her.
94
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,694
Oh, maybe I could
make a gift for them.
95
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,664
I know how much you guys love
the coasters I made for you.
96
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,636
They're yours in the divorce.
97
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,042
Hey. What're you working on?
98
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,877
Remember when I said
if you went through
99
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:42,547
with your surgery, there was a
one-in-700,000 chance of dying?
100
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:44,616
Yeah...?
101
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,551
Well, I've been
crunching the numbers,
102
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,721
and so far, I've gotten
your probability of death
103
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,456
all the way to a
sphincter-tightening
104
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,792
one in 300.
105
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:56,962
Great timing.
106
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,765
My "check sphincter"
light just went on.
107
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,734
Leonard, what if you have
an allergic reaction
108
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,936
to the surgeon's latex gloves?
I'm not
109
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,305
allergic to latex.
110
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,906
Well, then why don't you
wear the rubber gloves
111
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,641
I bought for you
to do the dishes?
112
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,978
For the same reason I don't
wear the apron or the hair net.
113
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,914
Fine. What about epilepsy?
114
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,749
I don't have epilepsy, either.
115
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:20,252
You don't,
but the surgeon might, hmm?
116
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:23,588
And your carotid artery is just
one shaky scalpel away
117
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:27,259
from becoming the dancing
fountain at Disneyland.
118
00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:30,762
Sheldon, do you realize that
driving is riskier than surgery?
119
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,799
I do. I have the drive
to the hospital right here.
120
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,167
That is if
you make it
121
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,969
to the car without
falling down the stairs.
122
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,839
And don't expect me to carry
you, I do that enough in life.
123
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,942
Buddy, I-I get that
you're worried about me
124
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,812
and I-I appreciate that,
but I'm not going to die.
125
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,613
You don't know that.
Well...
126
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,750
I do know that it won't
be from an asteroid strike.
127
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,786
You know who else said that?
128
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,688
Every cocky T. rex
currently swimming around
129
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,857
in the gas tank of your car.
130
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,660
I-If there was
an asteroid strike,
131
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,794
wouldn't you die, too?
132
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,529
I don't know--
I'm smart and scrappy,
133
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,865
I think I'd find a way.
134
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,802
Tell you what--
the surgery's not for a week,
135
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,837
I'll think about it.
136
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,639
Thank you. And while
you're thinking about it,
137
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,708
if you have the surgery
in Nicaragua during
138
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,377
monsoon season,
I can practically
139
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,745
guarantee your death.
140
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,652
Yes. Okay.
141
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,488
I-I understand.
142
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,822
Of course, yes.
143
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,657
I'll call you tomorrow.
144
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,726
Bye.
145
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,696
So I found this fencing school
in Burbank
146
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,065
that has a Jedi class.
147
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,835
And if you're cool
being the only adults there,
148
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,971
they said they are.
149
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,707
Dude, my parents just split up.
150
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:51,710
What?!
Uh, that was my dad
on the phone.
151
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,678
He moved out.
152
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,581
Oh, my God, I... I'm sorry.
153
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,551
I mean, if you're not up to it,
we don't have to go out,
154
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,520
we can just hang here.
No,
155
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,688
it's fine.
It's not that big a deal.
156
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,857
As long as they're happy,
I'm happy.
157
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,093
And when I get to see them
for the holidays,
158
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,195
I'll get to celebrate
Diwali twice--
159
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,763
one at each house.
160
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,134
That's double the Diwali.
161
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:18,603
You sure you're okay?
162
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,704
I'm okay.
163
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,490
You don't look okay.
164
00:07:21,491 --> 00:07:23,275
(wails): How can I be okay?
I come from a broken home.
165
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,547
The doctor said I should be
out of surgery by 10:00.
166
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:29,881
Okay.
167
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:33,618
And Sheldon really believes
we're at a public swimming pool?
168
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,056
He was so busy figuring out
how many parts per million
169
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,826
of urine we'd be floating around
in, he didn't even question it.
170
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:45,297
18 parts per million.
171
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,934
And he's still doing it.
172
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,470
Don't worry about that.
I'm happy to take you to work.
173
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:52,804
Well, thank you.
174
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,408
And Leonard never lets me have
French toast sticks in the car.
175
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,577
I can't have syrupy fingers,
176
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,346
but he can do the backstroke
in a toilet bowl.
177
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:05,016
It's nice they're
getting exercise.
178
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,587
Although now that
I think about it,
179
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,755
Leonard would never
go swimming in public
180
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,058
without his swim shirt.
181
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,594
I'm sure he brought it.
182
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,596
No, but last year,
at Magic Mountain,
183
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,130
he got such a bad sunburn,
184
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,900
we had to cut him out of it.
185
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,270
He probably got a new one.
Finish your breakfast.
186
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,105
Look, there's an entire
section of my dashboard
187
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,840
that doesn't have
any syrup on it.
188
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,844
You're acting odd. Why?
189
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,947
I'm odd all the time,
everyone knows that.
190
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,349
Just last night,
191
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,252
I tried to see how many fava
beans I could fit in my mouth.
192
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,121
Tell me the truth.
193
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,790
28.
Come on.
194
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,460
Fifty-six.
195
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,694
Amy!
196
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:52,130
What's going on?
197
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,965
All right.
198
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,300
Don't get upset, but...
199
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:58,637
an earlier appointment
opened up for Leonard
200
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,073
and he's getting
the surgery right now.
201
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,879
I see.
202
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,719
Take me to Leonard.
203
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,821
Just go to work,
he'll be fine.
204
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,558
Amy, he's my best friend,
and if you don't take me,
205
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,059
I'm going there anyway.
206
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,229
Fine.
207
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,998
It's sweet that you
care about him so much.
208
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,066
I do.
209
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,901
And I wouldn't
be able to forgive myself,
210
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,003
if something happened to him
and I wasn't at his bedside
211
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,105
to say, "I told you so."
212
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:49,888
Hello.
213
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,856
We had a really nice swim.
214
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,024
Oh, stop it.
215
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:56,528
I assume this medical
center's already treated
216
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,331
the burns on your bottom
from the recent pants fire.
217
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,901
'Cause I'm a liar, liar?
218
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,003
That's for the fire marshal
to determine.
219
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:07,939
You had to tell him?
220
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,708
He wore me down.
221
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,875
And I was distracted.
222
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:14,079
He has on
extra baby powder today.
223
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,380
Is he okay?
224
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,382
He's still in surgery.
225
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,883
(exhales)
226
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,619
Very well.
227
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,921
He's gonna be all right.
228
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,990
That is sticky.
229
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,760
Come on,
let's talk about something
230
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,061
other than the surgery.
231
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,596
That's a good idea.
(sighs)
232
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:35,800
Penny, did you and Leonard ever
discuss funeral arrangements?
233
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,071
I think she meant
something a little happier.
234
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:44,242
I suppose we could try
to make it a celebration,
235
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,478
but he died so young.
236
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:50,415
(knocking on door)
237
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,083
Knock, knock.
Hi.
Hey.
238
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,084
What brings you by?
239
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,653
Oh...
240
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,355
muffin much.
241
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,425
Told you-- not funny.
242
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,494
He's just not laughing
243
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:06,998
because he's feeling...
blue berry.
244
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:11,603
Tough crowd.
245
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,104
I'm sorry.
246
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,973
This is very sweet. Thanks.
247
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,107
So, how you doing?
248
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,275
Better. I guess
249
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,611
the news just hit me
a lot harder than I expected.
250
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:21,112
Well, of course.
251
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:23,448
I would be devastated
if my parents split up.
252
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,951
Why? Your father barely
speaks to your mother.
253
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,186
Well, at least
he stuck around,
254
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,121
not like your dad,
who just took off.
255
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,191
As you can see, we're
here to cheer you up.
256
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,960
Sorry, Raj.
257
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,962
Do you have any sense of
what happened with your folks?
258
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:41,833
I think, over time, they started
to resent each other,
259
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,201
and instead of talking
about the things
260
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,136
that bothered them,
they kept it bottled up,
261
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,205
and the hate just grew.
262
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,974
It's a shame they spent
all that time unhappy.
263
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,976
But sometimes,
264
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,446
there's muffin
you can do about it.
265
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,750
You get it, right?
266
00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:04,889
Oh, it's nice
you got him that.
267
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,558
Oh, this isn't
for Leonard, no.
268
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,094
Amy bought it for me.
269
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:14,332
Stubbed his toe on the
revolving door on the way in.
270
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,035
You know those confounded
things make me dizzy.
271
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,238
Who told you
to keep going around?
272
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,207
There was a large
plant in the lobby.
273
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,142
It kept looking
like the outside.
274
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,878
Okay, listen,
when Leonard comes out,
275
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,379
he is not gonna feel great,
276
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,548
so, please don't
give him a hard time.
277
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,916
Penny has a good point.
278
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,885
This is like the man
in the supermarket
279
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,553
with the goiter on his neck.
280
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,356
Whatever you're thinking,
just keep it to yourself.
281
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,926
It was like a grapefruit.
282
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,762
And I'm sure he knew that
283
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,765
before you held
a grapefruit up next to it.
284
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,533
Well, I'm not
making any promises.
285
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,402
Not only did Leonard take what
I feel is an unnecessary risk,
286
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,704
he deceived me.
287
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:54,072
Okay, the reason
he deceived you is
288
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,040
you were being
a pain in the ass.
289
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,109
The reason I was being
a pain in the B is
290
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,411
because I was worried about
him, and no one else was.
291
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,046
Really? You won't
even say "A"?
292
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,048
You bet your
sweet B I won't.
293
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,050
Obviously, I care
about Leonard.
294
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,386
I'm gonna spend the rest
of my life with him.
295
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,054
And I'm not?
296
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,224
(rumbling)
297
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,425
(gasps)
It's an earthquake.
298
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,727
I knew it.
299
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,428
Sheldon, it was
just a little tremor.
300
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,298
A little tremor that turns
routine sinus surgery
301
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,201
into a frontal
lobotomy.
302
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,072
Oh, I don't care
for this at all.
303
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:30,975
Oh, I need to
see he's okay.
304
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,610
Sheldon, you can't
go back there.
305
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,412
Try and stop me!
306
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,513
(thud)
307
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,283
Are you okay?
308
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,318
Why didn't you stop me?!
309
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,989
Can I tell you
something?
310
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,258
This whole thing
with Raj's parents
311
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,928
just got me
a little worried about us.
312
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,263
What are you talking about?
We're fine.
313
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,431
And Raj's parents
314
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,434
probably split up
because of Raj.
315
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,269
What?!
316
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,939
They always say the children
aren't to blame, but...
317
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,541
(laughing):
Come on.
318
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,313
I'm not joking, Howie.
319
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,814
You heard what he said
about his parents.
320
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,116
It was the little things
they kept bottled up.
321
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,319
I don't want that
to happen to us.
322
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,621
How can I convince you it won't?
323
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:20,325
Well, is there anything about me
you're keeping inside?
324
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,160
(chuckles)
I'm not answering that.
325
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:25,063
It's a trap.
326
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,633
So there are things
you don't like.
327
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,369
And here I am in the trap.
328
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,139
You just keep talking.
329
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:37,542
I'm gonna chew my leg off.
330
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,711
Just tell me one thing
that bothers you,
331
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:41,179
and I promise I won't get mad.
332
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,382
Okay. The truth is...
333
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,551
sometimes... you're too...
334
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,553
beautiful.
335
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,321
Oh.
336
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,557
Howie, be serious.
337
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,559
Okay, okay.
338
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,061
I really don't like
339
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,330
how your wings poke me
when we sleep
340
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,900
'cause you're an angel.
341
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,670
Okay, fine,
maybe it was a bad idea.
342
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,339
I just don't think the secret
to a happy marriage
343
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,042
is going out of our way
to criticize each other.
344
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,345
Although, there are ways
to improve our communication.
345
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,215
One thing I learned when
I was in couples therapy was...
346
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,349
Who were you
347
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,517
in couples therapy with?
348
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,686
Not important.
349
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,055
Was it your mom?
350
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,523
Not important.
351
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,259
It was your mom.
352
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,229
Anyway, the therapist had us
tell each other
353
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:34,098
what we loved about one another.
354
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,767
Oh, that's so sweet!
355
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,368
I want to do that.
356
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,770
All right.
357
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,705
Okay, um...
358
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,708
I love that you make me laugh.
359
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,410
Thank you.
360
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:50,248
And I love that you're strong
and independent.
361
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:53,384
And yet, I still love
when you hold a door for me.
362
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:57,255
I love that I'm kind of a slob
around here, and...
363
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,324
(laughing):
you're okay with that.
364
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,295
Uh-huh.
365
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:08,766
And I love that I work
and do all the cleaning,
366
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,235
and you're okay with that.
367
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:13,571
See, I am.
368
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,473
Isn't this great?
369
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,111
Come on, smile.
370
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,879
This is gonna be
my Christmas card.
371
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:30,421
(in nasal voice):
You know this is
all your fault.
372
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,825
(in nasal voice):
How is it my fault?
373
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,793
I told you not to
get the surgery.
374
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:39,330
Okay, first of all,
the surgery was a success,
375
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,632
and secondly,
I didn't even want you there.
376
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:45,436
Wow. I don't know
which hurts worse--
377
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,505
my nose or my heart.
378
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,108
Well, I'm done
speaking to you.
379
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,275
AMY:
Don't be like that.
380
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,277
You two need to
talk this out.
381
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:55,413
Yeah, 'cause
you sound really funny.
382
00:16:57,951 --> 00:17:00,518
Sheldon, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about the surgery,
383
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,653
but you were worried
about nothing.
384
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,856
Oh, you're hardly
out of the woods, no.
385
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,692
You still run the risk of
infection, a blood clot,
386
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,194
the possibility that
an inattentive surgeon
387
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,864
let a barn spider
lay eggs in your nose.
388
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:17,635
The minute you sneeze web,
I'm moving out.
389
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,171
I never thought
I'd say these words,
390
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,240
but come on, nose spider!
391
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,009
Who are you kidding?
392
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,310
You were so panicked
393
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,012
Leonard was gonna die,
you'll never leave him.
394
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,981
Sheldon will move out
eventually.
395
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:32,383
Yeah, once he figures out
how to work a door.
396
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,488
I was not panicked, and I am
not overly attached to Leonard.
397
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,557
You were so worried
that you smashed your face
398
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,825
trying to check on me.
399
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,226
You love me.
400
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,829
SHELDON:
Yeah. Tell me
401
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,397
those aren't the
words of a man
402
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,366
with a spider eating its
way through his brain.
403
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,202
Amy, you're a neuroscientist.
404
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,571
Crack his skull open,
spray some Raid in there.
405
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,709
I love that you take pride
in your looks,
406
00:17:58,711 --> 00:17:59,744
even when I have
407
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,212
to pee in the morning,
408
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,015
and you're in there
spending an hour on your hair.
409
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:08,519
I love that you're too good
to pee in the kitchen sink.
410
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,022
I love
that you have the confidence
411
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:14,759
to speak, even without giving it
an ounce of thought.
412
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,429
And I love how your hair
is always on the soap.
413
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,199
It's like washing myself
with a hamster.
414
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,700
(knocking on door)
415
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:25,703
Hey, guys.
Sorry I am so late.
416
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,573
I was on the phone
with my mother.
417
00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:29,707
Oh, how is she?
418
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:30,942
Pretty good.
419
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,044
She bought the book
Eat, Pray, Love
420
00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:36,147
and used it to set my father's
Mercedes on fire.
421
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,552
So, what's up with you guys?
422
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:44,388
We're just saying all the things
we love about each other.
423
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:46,991
Oh, like you and I
did at couples therapy.
424
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,402
Ooh, what'd you get?
425
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,438
Oh, I ordered it
before your surgery.
426
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,041
It's the urn I was going
to put you in.
427
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,410
Okay, that's morbid.
428
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,812
Send it back.
429
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:12,450
I can't send it back--
I had it engraved.
430
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,920
"Here lie the ashes
of Leonard Hofstadter.
431
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:20,158
He thought he was right,
but his roommate knew better."
432
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:23,594
That's funny.
433
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,563
Boy, I'm gonna miss
these painkillers.
434
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000
Hey, why did you get two?
435
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:32,069
"I'm with stupid."
Oh, that one's mine.