1
00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:05,904
I recently read
that during World War Two,
2
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,273
Joseph Stalin had
a research program
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,875
to create
supersoldiers
4
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:13,245
by having women
impregnated by gorillas.
5
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:16,815
What a sick use
of science.
6
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,950
Hey, as long as
the baby's healthy.
7
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,821
I wonder if Stalin considered
any other animals.
8
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,823
Hippos are
the deadliest creature.
9
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,792
A half-human, half-hippo soldier
would be pretty badass.
10
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,162
Yes, but when they're
hungry-hungry,
11
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:32,864
you can stop them
with marbles.
12
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,500
Yeah, the correct animal
13
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,069
for interspecies supersolider
is koala.
14
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:42,440
You would wind up with an army
so cute it couldn't be attacked.
15
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:46,511
But half-man, half-owl
could fly...
16
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:49,948
The answer is cuddly soldiers
with big flat noses. Moving on.
17
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,751
So, Penny, when's
the new job start?
18
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:53,952
Next Monday.
19
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,387
Did you get a chance
to look over
20
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,388
the materials I gave you?
21
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,522
Uh, not yet,
but I will.
22
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,691
Great. When?
23
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,793
I said I'll get to it.
24
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,700
I'm sensing awkwardness,
am I right?
25
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,669
Yes.
26
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,737
Swish.
27
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,740
I don't want to be pushy,
28
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,543
but you've never done
pharmaceutical sales before.
29
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:21,046
It seems like you could use
this time to get a head start.
30
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,447
PENNY: Well, the first few
weeks will be all training.
31
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:25,050
They'll tell me everything
I need to know.
32
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,685
But imagine how impressed
they'd be if you showed up
33
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,119
already familiar
with the material.
34
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,555
Okay, so what, you want me
to be like a teacher's pet?
35
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,724
Couldn't hurt.
36
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:33,625
LEONARD:
Mm, I don't know.
37
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,427
Who here has ever been hurt
38
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,995
because they were
the teacher's pet?
39
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:43,668
It was like the rest of
the class wanted Ms. McDonald
40
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,537
to forget the quiz.
41
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:49,140
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
42
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:52,444
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
43
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,112
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
44
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,815
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
45
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,317
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
46
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:02,087
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
47
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,989
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
48
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,690
♪ Bang! ♪
49
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,764
Mrs. Davis.
50
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,799
(knocking)
Guess who?
51
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,001
Dr. Cooper.
52
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,103
That's right, good job.
53
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,805
Hello.
54
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,907
Uh, you wanted
to see me?
55
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,542
Yes. Uh, welcome back.
56
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,011
Thank you.
57
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,680
I assume you'd like
to reopen our dialogue
58
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:31,416
about the university forcing me
to continue with string theory?
59
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,084
You mean the dialogue that went,
60
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,421
"Please?" "No." "Please?" "No."
"Please?" "No."
61
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,424
That's the one.
62
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:44,229
I believe you went last,
so, uh, please?
63
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:48,033
Dr. Cooper, while you were away,
we came up with a solution
64
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,368
that would allow you to change
your field of study.
65
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,103
Wow.
66
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,106
Pouting and running away
actually worked.
67
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,143
Yeah, I must say,
that may not be a lesson
68
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,377
you want to reinforce with me.
69
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,214
So, um, what is the solution?
70
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,916
Currently, you're being paid
under a grant
71
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,818
to specifically research
string theory.
72
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,720
If we promote you
to junior professor,
73
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,522
you'll be able to choose
74
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,257
whatever field of research
you'd like.
75
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:17,562
But if I'm a professor,
then I'll have to teach a class.
76
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,930
That is correct.
77
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:25,103
So your solution is to
promote me and pay me more money
78
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,005
so that I can impart
my knowledge
79
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,973
to the next generation
of scientists?
80
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,208
Yes.
81
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,578
You people are sick.
82
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,750
(knocks)
PENNY: Hey.
83
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,151
Ready to go to lunch?
84
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,486
Just give me a minute.
85
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,854
I'm stimulating the pleasure
cells of this starfish.
86
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,055
I just need to turn it off.
87
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,990
What happens
if you don't?
88
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,425
Then I have to sit through lunch
89
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,961
knowing this starfish is
having a better day than I am.
90
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:53,531
Is Bernadette meeting us
at the restaurant?
91
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,468
Uh, no. Actually,
I didn't invite her.
92
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,736
How come?
93
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,804
Well, ever since she helped me
get this job,
94
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,306
she won't stop bugging me.
95
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,808
Well, I think she just wants you
to do well,
96
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,243
and she's worried that you won't
97
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,581
'cause you were just
a stunningly poor waitress.
98
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,915
That is not true.
99
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,584
I'm still waiting
on my mini corndogs
100
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,753
from two years ago.
101
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,123
I told you,
they'll be right out.
102
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,760
Okay, so no
Bernadette.
103
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,262
Well, you saw her the
other night. Am I wrong?
104
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,530
No, I just...
105
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:28,333
I feel kind of uncomfortable
talking about her like this.
106
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:31,302
Usually when someone's being
talked about behind their back,
107
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:34,139
it's me and it's right
in front of my face.
108
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:37,275
I-I'm sorry. I just need
a little break from her.
109
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,377
I understand.
110
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:43,348
You know, there is
some research that indicates
111
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,551
that sharing negative attitudes
about a third party
112
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,521
can be a powerful bonding force
between two friends.
113
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,524
So, what are
you saying?
114
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,226
I'm saying,
in the spirit of science,
115
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,529
what is
that little skank's problem?
116
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,401
So, I've been trying
to come up
117
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,303
with a cute couple's nickname
for me and Emily.
118
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,938
What do you
like better--
119
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:10,241
Emippali...
120
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,811
or Koothrapemily?
121
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,548
Why is it your last name
and her first name?
122
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,483
Oh, well,
her last name is Sweeney,
123
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:22,654
and something just didn't seem
right about Koothrapeeney.
124
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:27,358
Hey, how'd it go
with human resources?
125
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,827
Awful.
126
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,196
Yeah, they're allowing me
to move on from string theory,
127
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,131
but they made me
a junior professor
128
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,400
and are requiring me
to teach a class.
129
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,136
I don't understand. Why is it
bad that you have to teach?
130
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,471
What a stupid question.
131
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,943
The kids are
gonna love him.
132
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,978
I can't believe
I have to waste my time
133
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,147
babysitting a bunch
of grad students
134
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:53,117
who probably think dark matter
is what's in their diapers.
135
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:54,652
This might not be that bad.
136
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,855
Uh, you like telling people
they're wrong.
137
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,122
Wrong!
138
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:02,594
Just because I enjoyed that one
doesn't mean I always do.
139
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,296
You enjoy giving
people grades.
140
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:09,400
A valid point,
but unoriginal-- B-minus.
141
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,569
And you love the sound
of your own voice.
142
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,338
Yeah, well, of course I do.
143
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,505
Listen to it.
144
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,775
It's like an earful
of melted caramel.
145
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,044
Look, most importantly,
146
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,714
this will let you move on
and study dark matter.
147
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,751
It is true that many of
my heroes have taken students
148
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,019
under their wings:
149
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,356
Feynman, Einstein, Professor X.
150
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,858
Humorously,
151
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,426
in the case of Professor X,
152
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:37,695
some of his students
actually had wings.
153
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,898
That's rich.
154
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,234
I'll use that one
to lighten the mood
155
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,137
after my entire class
fails the midterm.
156
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,077
Measuring starfish
serotonin levels in response
157
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,981
to one point two molar
stimulation of pleasure cells.
158
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,819
You like that, don't you?
159
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,621
That's right, say my name.
160
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,392
(Skype ringtone playing)
161
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,460
Hey.
162
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,195
Hey, what's going on?
Not much.
163
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,630
You want to get a drink later?
164
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:13,831
Just the two of us?
165
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:14,832
No Penny?
166
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:15,934
Not tonight.
167
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,201
I'm a little frustrated
with her.
168
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,070
Because you got her the job
and you think
169
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,905
she should be working harder
to prepare for it?
170
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:24,442
So it's not just me.
You see it, too!
171
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,980
I do, I see it.
172
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,748
It's driving me crazy.
173
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,583
Just this afternoon,
I saw on Instagram
174
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,953
that instead of studying,
she went out to lunch
175
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,554
and got a manicure.
176
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,191
That's outrageous!
177
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,359
I know!
178
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,794
If she doesn't do well,
179
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,396
th-this could reflect poorly
on you.
180
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,733
Exactly. Does she not realize it
or does she not care?
181
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,034
I don't know.
182
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,437
The important thing is
I am here for you
183
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:56,441
so we can mutually disparage
this unpleasing third party.
184
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,582
Hey. We just wanted to see
185
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,250
how your class was going.
Where is everybody?
186
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:08,753
There is no class.
187
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,923
Did you send everyone to
the principal's office already?
188
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,293
No one signed up.
189
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,061
Well, that's not your fault.
190
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:20,431
I called the department
secretary to see what happened.
191
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:24,268
Apparently, I have a reputation
for being obnoxious.
192
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,638
What?
193
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,742
Hey, Sheldon, I'm sorry.
194
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,844
No, it's fine.
195
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:37,148
Now I can devote all my time
to dark matter.
196
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,151
Aw, you brought cookies
for everyone?
197
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,552
Oh, yes. Fig Newtons.
198
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,322
I was going to ask them:
which scientist both helped
199
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,759
to develop calculus and had
a famous cookie named after him?
200
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,127
And then after
someone said "Newton,"
201
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,396
I was going to tell them
they're wrong.
202
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:56,200
The cookies are named
after a town in Massachusetts.
203
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,936
And then I'd throw
the cookies away.
204
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,573
Hey, what if I took your class?
205
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,576
Why would you do that?
206
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,045
Yeah, why would you do that?
What's wrong with you?
207
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,481
I'm thinking about
getting my doctorate,
208
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,183
and he wants to teach-- why not?
209
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,851
Oh, Howard.
210
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,020
I appreciate
the gesture,
211
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:18,489
but this is
a graduate-level physics class.
212
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,726
I don't think you'd understand
213
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,562
a single thing
I was talking about.
214
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,533
Ask why not again;
I've got an answer.
215
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:32,136
Sheldon, I'm more than smart
enough to take your class.
216
00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,274
(chuckles):
No.
217
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,976
Yes.
218
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,747
How would you determine
the ground state
219
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,883
of a quantum system
with no exact solution?
220
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,352
I would guess a wave-function
and then vary its parameters
221
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,121
until I found
the lowest energy solution.
222
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,156
Hmm.
223
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,927
Do you know how to integrate
X squared times E
224
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,962
to the minus X,
without looking it up?
225
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,431
I'd use Feynman's trick--
226
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,833
differentiate
under the integral sign.
227
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,035
Okay.
228
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,604
Um...
229
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,906
What is the correct
interpretation
230
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,408
of quantum mechanics?
231
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,477
Since every interpretation gives
exactly the same answer
232
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,412
to every measurement,
they are all equally correct.
233
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,614
However, I know you believe in
the Many Worlds Interpretation,
234
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,183
so I'll say that. Now do you
think I'm smart enough?
235
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,122
(chuckles):
No.
236
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,458
Oh, come on.
You might've gone to school
237
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,527
for a couple more years than me,
but guess what--
238
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,596
engineers are just
as smart as physicists.
239
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,898
(gasps)
You take that back!
240
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:39,537
(mimicking Sheldon):
No.
241
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,910
So, after drinks
with Bernadette,
242
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,846
I get home, and Penny calls
to complain about her.
243
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,481
And then while
I'm talking to Penny,
244
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,983
I get a text from Bernadette.
245
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,986
Wh... I'm trying to prepare
my lesson plan for Howard.
246
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,989
Why are you
telling me this?
247
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:02,026
Because it's taken 15 years, but
high school is finally awesome!
248
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,763
I love them both,
249
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:09,734
but I'm in the center now,
and I love that even more.
250
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:12,503
Amy, please. I am trying
to figure out a way
251
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:16,474
to intellectually emasculate
a dear friend of mine.
252
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,809
But I'm just...
Not now.
253
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,478
You better watch
that attitude, buddy.
254
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,481
You're dating the
popular girl now.
255
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,486
Hmm. You're up late.
256
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,155
Oh, I'm working on
my lesson plan for Wolowitz.
257
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,924
He is going to be so lost.
258
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,127
Look at this section over here.
259
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,397
Even I don't really
understand it.
260
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:42,333
Sheldon, why are you doing this?
261
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,068
I'm a teacher, Leonard.
262
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,436
It's my job.
263
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,438
No, I-I mean,
264
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,207
why are you going
to so much trouble
265
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,942
to prove that you're smarter
than Wolowitz?
266
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,978
Oh, it's no trouble;
it's actually a pleasure.
267
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,215
You want to know what I think?
268
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,251
I think the idea that someone
could be as smart as you,
269
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,787
or even smarter,
scares the pants off you,
270
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,355
and you can't deal with it.
271
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,159
Interesting point.
272
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,094
Wh... You're
suggesting
273
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:12,663
that I have emotional issues
below my consciousness
274
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,398
which drive my behavior,
275
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,401
thus causing me to lash out
at anything or anyone
276
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,937
that threatens
my intellectual superiority.
277
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,406
Might be something
to think about.
278
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,809
Leonard?
279
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:26,344
Yeah.
280
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,012
Howard's allergic to peanuts.
281
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,981
How can I use that against him?
282
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,419
Hey.
283
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:39,257
Okay, now that everyone's here,
we can begin.
284
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,894
Before we do,
I just talked to Leonard.
285
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,296
And if you're gonna
286
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,865
spend all your time
trying to belittle me
287
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:50,668
by making this class
unnecessarily hard,
288
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,603
then I'm out.
289
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,105
But if you're interested
in making
290
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,841
a sincere effort
to be a good teacher,
291
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,543
then I'm willing
to give this a shot.
292
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:04,749
I suppose that's a fair request.
293
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:08,219
There's no reason we both can't
benefit from this experience.
294
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,787
Okay.
295
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,922
Okay.
296
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,624
Well, then, uh,
first things first.
297
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,395
Um, are you familiar with
the Brachistochrone problem?
298
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,863
I am.
Good.
299
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:21,332
And how it relates
to the calculus of variations?
300
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,733
It's an inverted cycloid.
301
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:23,901
Wonderful.
302
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,070
Now, what about
Euler-Lagrange theorems?
303
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,538
That's where I'm a little fuzzy.
304
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,440
Ha! I knew it! All right.
305
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,178
We have a lot of information
to cover before your first test.
306
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,914
Which, by the way,
is in eight minutes.
307
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,550
The good news is I'm
grading on a curve,
308
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,353
so you're pretty much
guaranteed a C.
309
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,155
♪ All I do is win, win, win ♪
310
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,023
♪ No matter what ♪
What are you doing?
311
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,392
♪ Everybody hands go up, up... ♪
312
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:50,261
♪ And they stay there! ♪
313
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,896
What are you doing?
314
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,331
If you're gonna be
a crappy teacher,
315
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,232
then I'm gonna be
a crappy student.
316
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,867
(grunts) ♪ Ludacris going in
on the verse ♪
317
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,969
♪ 'Cause I never been defeated
and I won't stop now... ♪
318
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:01,839
Will you stop it!
319
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,207
This is a classroom.
320
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,642
This is not American Bandstand.
321
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,643
Okay.
322
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,644
Now, where was I?
323
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,645
Let's see.
324
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,646
Oh, yes. Over here.
325
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:09,714
You...
326
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,750
What are you doing now?
327
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,585
Making a straw.
328
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,686
Why?
329
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,856
So I can shoot you
with a spitball.
330
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:23,127
You're not going to do that,
and I'll tell you why.
331
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,196
This is an institution
of higher learning,
332
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,864
I am your professor,
333
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,799
and you're going to treat me
with the prop...
334
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,368
(gasps)
335
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:37,341
You shot your spit in my mouth!
336
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,077
Is that gonna be on the test?
337
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,179
Because I don't think
I can do that again.
338
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,984
Hey, girlfriend.
339
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,221
Can I get a what what?
340
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,056
What?
341
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,492
Close enough.
342
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,161
Um, I was just calling to see
what you were up tonight.
343
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,296
Thought maybe we could hit up
Color Me Mine,
344
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,566
maybe sneak in
some Pinot Greej. Whatevs.
345
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,535
Uh, thanks, but I think
I'm gonna stay in
346
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,303
and go over the stuff
Bernadette gave me.
347
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,339
Oh. Oh, I hear you.
348
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,708
Try and get that nag
off your back, right?
349
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,344
I mean, you're not a bicycle;
350
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,980
why's she riding you like that?
351
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,082
No, I think she was
just trying to help.
352
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,818
Plus, I really want to do well
at this job. So...
353
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,420
Okay, good luck.
And call me later,
354
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,156
you know, if you decide
she's a bitch or something.
355
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,496
Hey, girlfriend.
356
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:33,931
Hey, Amy.
357
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,433
Tonight. You, me, Color Me Mine.
358
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:39,537
Maybe we sneak in some pinot--
make it Color Me Wine.
359
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,739
That sounds fun,
but I promised Penny
360
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,207
I'd come by and help her study.
361
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:46,010
Oh. Well, good luck
getting her to do that.
362
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,612
She's probably off
getting another manicure.
363
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,314
You remember when she did that?
364
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,683
You remember?
365
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,885
I was probably being
too hard on her.
366
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,220
We talked, we're good.
367
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,788
Oh. Great.
368
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,390
I'm happy for you guys.
369
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,192
You know, when the two of you
aren't getting along,
370
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,195
it puts me in a really
weird position.
371
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,397
Well, don't worry--
everything's back to normal.
372
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,400
You mean, like, where she's nice
to your face? Okay got it. Bye.
373
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,573
Hey, boyfriend.
374
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,107
Can't talk. Spitball.
375
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,909
Probably gonna die.
376
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:19,977
(gargling)
377
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,084
Well?
378
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:28,919
Sheldon, I-I promise.
379
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:32,122
Your uvula does not have an STD.
380
00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:36,126
Are you sure?
381
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:39,997
It just doesn't feel as
innocent as it used to.
382
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,435
You reported me
to human resources?
383
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:48,305
You violated the sanctity
of my mouth.
384
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:51,575
Well, I dropped your class,
so I hope you're happy.
385
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,245
I told you you weren't
smart enough to take it.
386
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,312
I'm smart enough, Sheldon.
387
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:56,447
Asking me a bunch of questions
388
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,548
about a topic
I'm not familiar with
389
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:58,549
doesn't prove anything.
390
00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,683
I could do the same to you.
391
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,185
Yeah... Try me.
392
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,787
Okay.
(scoffs)
393
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:07,424
You enjoy making fun
of engineering so much;
394
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:10,427
how do you quantify
the strength of materials?
395
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,062
Young's modulus.
396
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,664
Is that right?
397
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,799
Yeah.
398
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,871
Okay, how do you prevent
eddy currents in a transformer?
399
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,207
Laminate the core material.
400
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,275
Come on, give
him a hard one.
401
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,976
That was a hard one.
402
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,946
All right.
403
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:32,383
How does the flow rate in a pipe
depend on its diameter?
404
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,587
You don't know, do you?
405
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,789
(panting)
406
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,157
What's the matter, smart guy?
407
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:42,560
Don't know Poiseuille's law?
408
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,628
(coughing)
409
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,468
(gasps)
Thank goodness I got it!
410
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,674
Now I can quit
checking my stool.
411
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,480
Okay, what are the
potential side effects
412
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:05,516
for our erectile
dysfunction drug?
413
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,985
Headaches, dizziness and nausea.
414
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,119
Yes.
415
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,521
Those are also the side effects
416
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,656
of having a 75-year-old man
with an erection
417
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,358
climb on top of you.
418
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,360
Want to stop here?
419
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:17,695
Uh, no.
I can keep going.
420
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:18,896
Nah, you got this.
421
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,397
Let's go for a drink.
I'll call Amy.
422
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:23,267
Okay, good. She seemed like she
really wanted to go out tonight.
423
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:29,239
(ringtone playing)
424
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,178
Hey, girl.
425
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:42,886
Okay, next question,
for the Butterfinger:
426
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,556
how long is a galactic year?
427
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,890
250 million years!
428
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:47,491
Yes!
429
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,427
(all cheering)
430
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:54,765
Okay, this one is
for a Cadbury Creme Egg.
431
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,634
(gasps)
It's not even Easter time.
432
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,669
This is crazy!
433
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:04,308
Which Archimedean solid
has 20 regular triangular faces,
434
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,877
30 square faces,
12 pentagonal faces,
435
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,681
60 vertices and 120 edges?
436
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,017
ALL:
The Rhombicosidodecahedron!
437
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:13,584
Yes!
438
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,253
(all cheering)
439
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,955
We are so smart!
440
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,757
Why didn't girls like us
in high school?
441
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,160
Because we were awkward and
weird and couldn't play sports!
Right again!