1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,607
I got to tell you, the more
I read about the primordial

2
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,525
gravity wave discovery,
the more excited I get.

3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,489
I know. Being an
astrophysicist right now

4
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,766
is like being a rock star.

5
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,570
Only without the sex.

6
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,923
Yeah, literally, none of it.

7
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,040
What do you think about it, Sheldon?

8
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,650
Meh.

9
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,643
Are you kidding me?

10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,848
This may be the biggest
scientific breakthrough

11
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,121
of our lifetime.

12
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,602
How can you, as a theoretical
physicist, not care about this?

13
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,768
Maybe it's because
I'm not an elitist.

14
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,126
What I'd like to know is:

15
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,169
How does this gravity wave
breakthrough

16
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,970
help the man on the street?
You know?

17
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,884
Who's looking out
for Joe Six-Pack

18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,407
and all his quantum physics concerns?

19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,206
Oh, my God, you're jealous.

20
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,283
Why would I be jealous?

21
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,767
I don't know. Maybe because
the origin of the universe

22
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,605
just got proven,
the Higgs field just got proven

23
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,411
and you've been working on
string theory for the last 20 years

24
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,006
and you're no closer to proving
it than when you started.

25
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,929
Yeah, well, I've had a lot
on my plate.

26
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,771
We happen to live in
a golden age of television.

27
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,401
- Excuse me, fellas.
- (GROANS)

28
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,400
Sorry for eavesdropping,
but there actually was

29
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,529
some big string theory news today
out of the Hadron Collider.

30
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,001
Really?
Did they find evidence to support

31
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,924
extra dimensions
or supersymmetry?

32
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,926
No, but they did find evidence
that you'll believe anything.

33
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,171
Why would you do that?

34
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,288
You're a string theorist as well.

35
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,211
Incorrect.
I am a string pragmatist.

36
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,721
I say I'm gonna prove something
that cannot be proved,

37
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,166
I apply for grant money,

38
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,567
and then I spend it
on liquor and broads.

39
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,569
Later.

40
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,727
Do you think he's right?

41
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,050
Am I wasting my life on a theory
that can never be proven?

42
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,521
Maybe. But how great
is Game of Thrones?

43
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,565
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYS)

44
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,883
Hey, you're up early.

45
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,122
I couldn't sleep.

46
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,205
I told you those Walking Dead
pillowcases were a bad idea.

47
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,243
No, that's not it.

48
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,925
Is something bothering you?

49
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,890
Yes, but you wouldn't understand.

50
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,168
Come on, try me.

51
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,123
All right.

52
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,771
I've devoted the prime
of my life to string theory

53
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,766
and its quest for the
compactification of extra dimensions.

54
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,083
I've got nothing to show for it,
and I feel like a fool.

55
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,009
OK. I get it.

56
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,367
I mean, not all the jibber-jabber
in the middle, but...

57
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,840
I know what it's like to put your
heart and soul into something

58
00:03:02,864 --> 00:03:04,354
and get nothing out of it.

59
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,125
You mean your acting career?

60
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,971
- No.
- Your relationship with Leonard?

61
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,487
No.

62
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,280
Your failed attempt
to go back to college?

63
00:03:15,304 --> 00:03:16,749
No!

64
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,046
I'm saying you and string theory
sound like a relationship,

65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,680
and I know what it's like
to be in one

66
00:03:21,704 --> 00:03:24,025
and realize it's never gonna
turn out the way you want.

67
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,963
I said Leonard, you said no.

68
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,048
I'm talking about other guys.

69
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,091
OK. Well, what do you do?

70
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,720
You have to have the courage
to end the relationship.

71
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,724
You know? Break it off,
shake hands, walk away.

72
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,721
I don't know if I can do that.

73
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,326
I know it's hard, honey,
but in the end, that's how you grow.

74
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,685
(BLOWING NOSE)

75
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,367
Penny, have you seen
my good inhaler?

76
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,601
Break it off,
shake hands, walk away.

77
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,370
Hey, how's dating two women going?

78
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,682
Um, kind of hit a bump.

79
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,649
When I was honest and told Emily

80
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,041
she wasn't the only person
I was seeing, it went great.

81
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,850
So I tried the same thing with Lucy.

82
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,210
- And?
- She had mixed feelings.

83
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,681
But when I said,
"Emily was cool with it.

84
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,000
Emily's the best. Why can't you
be more like Emily?"...

85
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,123
those feelings
became less mixed.

86
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,211
Women. Who knows what'll set 'em off?

87
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,124
At least now I can focus all
my energies on just one girl.

88
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,123
I hope I get to meet her
as soon as possible.

89
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,930
Why the rush?
She isn't going anywhere.

90
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,367
She is. But I like that attitude.

91
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,081
Gentlemen, is anybody interested
in my old string theory books?

92
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,890
You're really going to do this?

93
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,088
I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out

94
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,971
that what I'm going through
is essentially a breakup.

95
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,885
And according
to Cosmopolitan magazine,

96
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,202
one of the most effective
techniques for moving on

97
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,971
is to get rid of all reminders
of the relationship.

98
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,441
- You're reading Cosmo?
- Yes.

99
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,489
As it turns out, there's an article

100
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,530
on how to get over a breakup
in literally every issue.

101
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,880
Anyway, it suggests
that I set these on fire,

102
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,128
but the smell of burning books

103
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,124
reminds me of church picnics
in East Texas.

104
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,650
What's this?

105
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,481
That's just a doodle of
a hyperelliptic Riemann surface.

106
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,604
Oh, yeah. Wasn't that the basis
of your postdoc fellowship?

107
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,091
It was.

108
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,720
This seemed so elegant
at the time,

109
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:40,043
but now I realize I was just
a simple country boy,

110
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,726
seduced by a big city theory

111
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,201
with variables
in all the right places.

112
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,162
- It's going to be OK.
- I know.

113
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,368
As hard as this is,
I have to move on.

114
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,251
I can't keep postulating
multidimensional entities

115
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,084
and get nothing in return.

116
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,050
I have needs, too.

117
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,169
So, you and Emily
still together?

118
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,207
I spoke to Bernadette.
She's free tomorrow night.

119
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:16,441
OK, great.

120
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,961
But if we're really gonna do
a double date,

121
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,282
then we have to go over
some ground rules about Emily.

122
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,562
Like when it turns out
she's made of rubber,

123
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,051
I don't say anything?

124
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,565
She's very real.

125
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,848
That's what it says on the box.

126
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,087
Right next to "dishwasher safe."

127
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,368
See? This is exactly
the kind of thing

128
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,329
I'm worried about you
saying in front of her.

129
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,448
I promise I'll be
on my best behavior.

130
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,161
You better be. No jokes about
how close I am with my dog.

131
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,802
Or the truth about how close
I am with my dog.

132
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,331
You got it.

133
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,164
No jokes about
the year I took ballet.

134
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,924
You took ballet?

135
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,924
God, you never listen.

136
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,889
Are you sure you
want to do this?

137
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,520
The magazine articles suggest
that one of the ways

138
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,967
to get over a breakup
is a new look.

139
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,045
What about your old look,
well-groomed ventriloquist doll?

140
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,966
- "Oh, my God, I do look like that."
- Stop it!

141
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,642
So, how do you want me
to cut it?

142
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,964
How about Bill Gates
meets Nikola Tesla?

143
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,050
So, business in the front,
science in the back.

144
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,568
Or I don't cut it and
maybe just style it a little.

145
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,125
I'm in your hands.

146
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,648
Do a good job and I'll tell you
Cosmo's ten dynamite tips

147
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,723
to enjoy your PMS.

148
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,086
Can you keep him quiet?

149
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,760
Maybe jangle some keys
in front of him?

150
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:45,926
That doesn't work anymore.

151
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,367
He just thinks I'm taking him
to the doctor.

152
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,725
So, now that you're
no longer invested in string theory,

153
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,325
what are you gonna pursue?

154
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,403
There are so
many exciting areas:

155
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,211
black holes, dark matter...

156
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,044
Leonard was telling me
about dark matter,

157
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,560
but I didn't really understand it.

158
00:08:02,584 --> 00:08:05,235
Don't feel bad.
Neither does he.

159
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,089
OK...

160
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,489
what do you think?

161
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,766
Have you ever even seen
a picture of Tesla?

162
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,610
It actually looks good, Sheldon.

163
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,649
- Doesn't it?
- Yeah.

164
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,765
I suppose I could see myself
in a scientific boy band.

165
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,206
Of course, I'd be the dreamy one
and the smart one.

166
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,491
Sorry I'm late.

167
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,490
- What did you do?
- I gave him a new look.

168
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,281
- It's cute, huh?
- Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem.

169
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,602
I don't need other girls
to see him walking around

170
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,410
like sex on a stick.

171
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,048
She's right. I'm too hot.

172
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,610
I'm excited to meet Emily.

173
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,644
Me, too. I just hope
he doesn't blow it.

174
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,131
Why would you say that?

175
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,080
Because he's Raj.
That's his thing.

176
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,249
Beckham can bend it,
Ralph can wreck it, Raj can blow it.

177
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,643
Look, I don't want it to happen,

178
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,167
but odds are he's gonna
find a way to...

179
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,129
Oh, crap, I know that girl.

180
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,642
- How?
- In a bad way, very bad.

181
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,926
Hey, guys.

182
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,160
Whatever you hear tonight,
just remember I love you.

183
00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:25,310
Hey!

184
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,650
Emily, these are my good
friends, Howard and Bernadette.

185
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,808
- Guys, this is Emily.
- Nice to meet you.

186
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,166
- Hi.
- Hello.

187
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,970
Have we met before?

188
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,490
No.

189
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,687
I don't...
I don't... think so.

190
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,285
You sure? You look familiar.

191
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,687
Well, you sure don't.

192
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,411
You I know, you I know, you?

193
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,562
Total stranger.

194
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,770
Even if you had yummy candy,
I would not get in your van.

195
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,723
Did you go to that spin class
on Green Street?

196
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,609
That must be it.

197
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,047
Since when do you go to spin class?

198
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,283
Wow. Now who doesn't listen?

199
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,606
Sheldon, your food's getting cold.
What are you doing?

200
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,810
Looking through my textbooks
for a new field of inquiry.

201
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,804
Why do we have a geology book?

202
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,089
Leonard, did you throw
a children's party

203
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,651
while I was in Texas?

204
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,524
Wait. What's wrong with geology?

205
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,206
Let me put this in a way
you'll understand, Penny.

206
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,089
You remember
how you explained to me

207
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,322
that the Kardashians
aren't real celebrities?

208
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,246
Well, geology
is the Kardashians of science.

209
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,251
Have you considered
studying standard model physics?

210
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,243
You want me
to give up string theory

211
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,323
for something
that's less advanced?

212
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,160
You know, why don't you break up
with Penny

213
00:10:49,184 --> 00:10:51,346
and start dating a brown bear.

214
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,484
Like you could get a brown bear.

215
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,210
Hey, I've got a good job.

216
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,203
I could buy salmon.
You don't know.

217
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,569
Maybe you could make
your new field of study

218
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,440
the calculation
of nuclear matrix elements.

219
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,641
Oh, please.

220
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,043
If I wanted to take up a fad,
I'd get a tramp stamp.

221
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,763
What about loop quantum gravity?

222
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,729
Oh, Duchess, look at me!

223
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,804
My quantum gravity's
positively loopy!

224
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,970
Who's the duchess?

225
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,924
One of the people
that lives in his head.

226
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,091
I hope he's this distraught
if he ever breaks up with me.

227
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,846
Well, if he does, I'll see
if my bear has a friend.

228
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,040
Sheldon, have you ever considered
not rushing into something new?

229
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,640
I mean, why don't you
take your time, enjoy your freedom?

230
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,889
Maybe something new
to study will find you.

231
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,043
That's actually not bad advice.

232
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,680
You know, I didn't seek out
string theory.

233
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,246
It just hit me
over the head one day.

234
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,561
How does that happen?

235
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,961
A bully chased me through
the school library

236
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,885
and hit me over the head with
the biggest book he could find.

237
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,846
OK, how about we toast
your newfound freedom?

238
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,241
Normally I refrain from alcohol,

239
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,449
but since my cerebral cortex is
twiddling its proverbial thumbs,

240
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,329
why not soak it in grape juice

241
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,767
that's been predigested
by a fungus?

242
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,965
And you wonder why other
children beat you with books.

243
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,326
Cheers!

244
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,043
Emily, what do you do?

245
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,487
I'm a dermatology resident
at Huntington Hospital.

246
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,364
And you know what that means.

247
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,127
Someone's skin's about
to be softer than ever.

248
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,483
This is making me crazy.
I know I know you from somewhere.

249
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,803
Howard was an astronaut.
Maybe that's where you saw him.

250
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,288
Wow, that's amazing.
What was that like?

251
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,250
It was the most incredible
experience of my life.

252
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,131
Up there
in the space station, you're...

253
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,248
Oh, my God, I remember.

254
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,328
Can I finish my astronaut story?

255
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,766
It was four years ago.

256
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,160
- Please don't say it.
- We were set up on a blind date.

257
00:12:57,351 --> 00:12:59,311
- Please don't say it.
- You came to my apartment.

258
00:12:59,335 --> 00:13:00,848
You're saying it.

259
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,485
Well, what happened?

260
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,483
- Yeah, what happened?
- OK, I'll say it.

261
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,049
(CLEARS THROAT)
I was on the way to pick her up.

262
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,202
My stomach felt a little funny.

263
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,489
When I got there, I asked
if I could use her bathroom.

264
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,483
Please don't say it.

265
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,521
One roll of toilet paper
and 20 minutes later,

266
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,001
I was so humiliated,

267
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,891
I snuck out the window
and never saw her again.

268
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,530
You know what else
I never saw again:

269
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,728
my security deposit.

270
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,450
I'm sorry.

271
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,570
I tried to unclog it,
but you didn't have a plunger,

272
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,245
and water was
spilling out everywhere.

273
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,050
Right, just water.

274
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,401
Look, I have felt terrible
about this for years,

275
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,565
and I'm glad I have the opportunity
to tell you just how sorry I am.

276
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,762
It's fine.

277
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,410
All my friends love this story.

278
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,728
They call you Clogzilla.

279
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,206
Get it? Because you
clogged up her bathroom

280
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,966
like a radioactive monster!

281
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,526
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.
- Howie.

282
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,286
Well, hey, it's not like
cotton candy comes out of you.

283
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,441
Come on, let's get you to bed.
You've had a lot to drink.

284
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,011
No more than Penny.

285
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,089
That's what I'm saying.

286
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,409
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

287
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:23,721
Empty room.

288
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,127
If somebody says "Come in,"
I'm gonna freak out.

289
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,770
So, Emily, why did you decide
to specialize in dermatology?

290
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,922
I like cutting people with knives,

291
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,641
and all the other jobs where
you get to do that are illegal.

292
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,408
You're kidding, right?

293
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,931
(CHUCKLING)

294
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,644
She's scary,
but it's a cute scary.

295
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,806
Can I say just one more thing?

296
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,611
I had some kind
of food poisoning that day.

297
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,445
Sure, in retrospect,
gas station sushi...

298
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,011
maybe not the best choice.

299
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,004
Nor was climbing out
your window and running away.

300
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,845
But I think we can all understand
how humiliating that was,

301
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,920
and I'd really appreciate it
if we could move on.

302
00:15:07,944 --> 00:15:09,323
Howie, we moved on
a long time ago.

303
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,801
- I'm just saying...
- We moved on.

304
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,971
OK. Fine.

305
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,962
- How's your soup?
- It's all right.

306
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,963
They could've filled
the bowl a little more.

307
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,491
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)

308
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,525
- Excuse me.
- Where are you going?

309
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,650
- I need some fresh air.
- Been there.

310
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,642
Oh, no.

311
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,882
What have I done?

312
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,842
How you feeling?

313
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,161
Not so good.

314
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,050
Are you gonna introduce me
to your friend?

315
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,090
It's not my friend.

316
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,242
Nothing happened.

317
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:40,849
I don't know, I heard you reading
pretty loud last night.

318
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,607
Oh, dear Lord.

319
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:45,807
Where's Amy?

320
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,962
After she put you to bed,
she went home.

321
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,080
Oh.

322
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,327
I should call her and apologize.

323
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,208
- Oh, no.
- What?

324
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,206
Apparently, I called
Stephen Hawking last night.

325
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,448
FEMALE VOICE:
First new message.

326
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,409
SHELDON: Hawkman!

327
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:12,848
It's your old buddy
Sheldonoscopy!

328
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,281
How come you didn't
pick up the phone?

329
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,011
Oh, right. My bad.

330
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,922
You're awful quiet.
Everything OK?

331
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,484
Not really.

332
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,723
I had a bit
of an embarrassing evening.

333
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,121
Me, too. What happened?

334
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,129
I drank alcohol

335
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:40,121
and may have left an unfortunate
voice mail for Stephen Hawking.

336
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,570
I wouldn't worry about it.

337
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,688
He's got a pretty good
sense of humor.

338
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,524
I hope so.

339
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,682
What happened to you last night?

340
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,689
Well, turns out

341
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,486
I'd already met the girl
Raj is seeing

342
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,281
when I did a number
on her bathroom.

343
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,289
And that number was two.

344
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,730
Well, you know,
I've always been a fan

345
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,724
of a story told
by Attar of Nishapur,

346
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,805
about a king,
who assembled a group of wise men

347
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,646
to create a ring that would
make him happy when he was sad.

348
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,168
And that ring was inscribed
with the phrase,

349
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,402
"This, too, shall pass."

350
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,561
- Hey, Cooper!
- Oh, my God.

351
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,247
I heard you drunk-dialed
Stephen Hawking last night?

352
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,084
Classic!

353
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,366
Get out of here, Barry.

354
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,363
Whatever you say...

355
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,887
Clogzilla.

356
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,124
Clogzilla. That's pretty funny.

357
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,561
I don't think that's gonna pass.

358
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,923
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

359
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,809
SHELDON: It's me again!

360
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,088
I gave up string theory.

361
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,009
You should give up black holes,

362
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,410
and we can totally
solve crimes together!

363
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,204
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

364
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,805
SHELDON: Do you know what's great?!

365
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,968
Geology.

366
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,206
Woo!

367
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,083
Look at this geode!

368
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,368
That's fun to say!

369
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,809
Gee... ode! Gee... ode!

370
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,450
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

371
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,642
SHELDON: Gee... ode!

372
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,607
Gee... ode!

373
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,967
I kiss girls now.

374
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,441
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

375
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,570
SHELDON: Hey, guess who I am!
Beep, bop, boop, bop!

376
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,927
I'm you! Get it?!

377
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,009
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

378
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,170
Are you mad at me?

379
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,170
Oh, no, you're mad at me.

380
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,368
I am so sorry!

381
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,166
Beep, bop, boop, bop!

382
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,125
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.

383
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:03,127
SHELDON: Thiospinel sulfide.
Thiospinel sulfide.

384
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,648
That's even more fun
than gee... ode.

385
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,887
Hey, did you see The LEGO Movie?

386
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,926
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
What a jackass.

387
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,002
(English US - SDH)