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Previously on
The Big Bang Theory:
2
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:06,550
Guess who I found at LAX.
My baby sister Priya.
3
00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:08,700
It's really nice
to see you again, Leonard.
4
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:10,570
Yeah, it's good
to see you, too.
5
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:11,640
Here you go.
6
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:12,800
Thanks.
7
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,850
You slept with
my sister?!
8
00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,110
Yeah.
9
00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,240
This is a terrible
betrayal of my trust!
10
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,110
Would it help
if I told you
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00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,780
that I offered
her my heart,
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00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:26,610
and she kinda
stomped on it?!
13
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:27,900
How hard did she stomp?
14
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,120
Very hard.
15
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,480
Okay, I'm good.
16
00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,690
What's so funny?
17
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,930
Nothing. Just thinking
18
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:44,360
about the noises people
make during sex.
19
00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:47,400
I do sometimes get a bit
carried away, don't I?
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00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:50,390
It's cute.
21
00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:54,140
You sound a little
like a drunken monkey.
22
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,980
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
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00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:01,920
You know it's meant
as a compliment.
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00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,520
That's how I take it.
25
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,020
This is perfect.
26
00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:08,960
I hope this moment
never ends.
27
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,520
Me, too.
28
00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:15,100
Well, gotta go.
Oh!
29
00:01:18,070 --> 00:01:20,120
Already?
Why don't you stay over?
30
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,540
I'd love to, but you know
31
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,620
my mother needs me in
the morning.
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00:01:27,910 --> 00:01:31,680
Please, I think the woman can
manage to put a wig on by herself.
33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,450
It's not just the wig.
34
00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:36,620
It's pinning her hair up,
drawing on her eyebrows.
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00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:38,180
It's a two-person job.
36
00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:43,020
It's just, when you leave right
after we make love,
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00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,620
it makes me feel...
38
00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:45,890
cheap.
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00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:47,930
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
40
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:49,560
What can I do?
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00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,930
Stay.
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00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:53,330
Okay.
43
00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:00,870
Like, what, another five,
ten minutes?
44
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,410
Go home.
45
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:04,660
Your call.
46
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,380
Howard...
47
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:13,550
have you ever considered us
living together?
48
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,390
Boy, I don't know.
49
00:02:15,390 --> 00:02:18,860
You, me, Ma living
under the same roof?
50
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:22,630
No, I mean just you and me.
51
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:23,900
You can move in here,
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00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,830
or we can find a place.
53
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,630
I've got a better solution.
What?
54
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,700
We wait for my mom's heart
to explode
55
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,670
from all the salt she eats.
56
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:34,040
Then we just stick her in
the ground, flip her mattress
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00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,380
and move into the big bedroom.
58
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Great.
59
00:02:37,780 --> 00:02:41,780
Look at us planning
a future together!
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00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:48,660
Who's there?!
61
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:50,490
Are you a
sex criminal?!
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00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:56,000
Sex criminals
don't have keys, Ma!
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,900
Where were you
so late?!
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00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,300
I was out with Bernadette!
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00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,730
I know what
that means!
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00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:05,270
I watch Dr. Phil!
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00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,840
I hope to God
you used a condom!
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00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,610
I'm not having this conversation
with you, Ma!
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00:03:11,610 --> 00:03:16,650
God forbid you get one of
those new fancy sex diseases!
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00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:19,120
Nobody has a disease!
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00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,590
I hope not!
72
00:03:20,590 --> 00:03:23,820
I share a toilet
with you!
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00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,330
Is that what
you want?!
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00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:29,800
To give your
mother herbies?!
75
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,300
That's it!
I don't have to take this!
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00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:36,870
Good luck with your eyebrows in
the morning!
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00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,740
Who's there?!
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00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,880
Are you a
sex criminal?!
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,720
I'm still leaving!
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00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,600
I just forgot my Claritin!
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00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:55,240
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,860
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
83
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:00,730
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
84
00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:03,430
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
85
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,630
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
86
00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:08,430
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
87
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,440
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
88
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,500
♪ Bang! ♪
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00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,600
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x16 ♪
The Cohabitation Formulation
Original Air Date on February 17, 2011
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00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,800
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
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Hey, what's up?
92
00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:21,910
I need a place to crash.
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00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,680
Uh, sure.
94
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,750
Why?
95
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:26,620
Big fight with my mother.
96
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:30,860
Still arguing over
which CSI is the best?
97
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:34,890
No, we agreed they all have
their merits.
98
00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:36,960
This was about Bernadette.
99
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,060
What's going on?
100
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,170
Howard's gonna sleep here
tonight.
101
00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,550
He had a fight with his mother.
102
00:04:41,550 --> 00:04:44,770
Did you offer him
a hot beverage?
103
00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:53,610
No.
104
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,220
Leonard, social protocol states
when a friend is upset,
105
00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:00,450
you offer them a hot beverage,
such as tea.
106
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:03,160
Tea does sound nice.
107
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,410
You heard the man, Leonard.
108
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:10,430
And while you're at it,
I'm upset
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00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:13,830
that we have an unannounced
houseguest, so make me cocoa.
110
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,540
Point of inquiry,
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00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:21,170
given that Leonard is
your secondary friend
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00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:23,580
and Koothrappali is
your primary friend,
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00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:25,840
why didn't you seek refuge
under his roof?
114
00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:27,080
There's no room.
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00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,480
His sister is staying with him.
116
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,650
Wait, wait. What?
117
00:05:30,650 --> 00:05:31,900
Cocoa, Leonard.
Focus.
118
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,620
I'm down in
the dumps here.
119
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:37,440
Priya's in town?
120
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,140
Yeah, some work thing.
121
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:42,230
Anyway, my mother seems
to think that Bernadette...
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00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:44,330
Hold on.
When did Priya get here?
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00:05:44,330 --> 00:05:46,370
I don't know.
A couple of days ago.
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00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:49,320
The thing is, Bernadette doesn't
like that I have to take care
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00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,000
of my mother, and my mother
doesn't trust Bernadette...
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00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:53,160
Yeah, that's a real pickle.
127
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,370
Bye.
128
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,410
Don't worry.
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00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:01,300
As your tertiary friend,
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00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,350
I am prepared to step in
and comfort you.
131
00:06:04,350 --> 00:06:06,600
That's not really necessary.
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00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,170
No, no. I'll finish
making the tea,
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00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,170
while you narcissistically
ramble on
134
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,220
about whatever's troubling you.
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00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:14,130
Thanks.
136
00:06:14,130 --> 00:06:17,200
That's what
tertiary friends are for.
137
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:21,930
Who is it?
138
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,140
It's Leonard.
139
00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:25,640
You can't come in.
140
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,870
I just want to talk to her.
141
00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:29,310
I forbid it.
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00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:30,660
Open the door,
Rajesh.
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00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:31,830
You heard me.
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00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:34,010
I forbidded it.
145
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:35,810
"Forbidded" it?
146
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,750
"Forbaded" it?
147
00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:40,420
Get out of the way.
148
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:42,420
What are you doing here?
149
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:43,860
What are you doing here?
150
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:45,220
I have business in Los Angeles.
151
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,730
Why didn't you call?
152
00:06:46,730 --> 00:06:48,290
Clearly, she was
sending you a message
153
00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,560
to take a hike, Mike.
154
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,370
I'm sorry.
I thought about calling,
155
00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:56,370
but I just wasn't sure if
seeing you was such a good idea.
156
00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:58,800
I know. Last time
I came on too strong.
157
00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:00,110
Can we talk in private?
158
00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:02,170
No!
Sure.
159
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,140
It's completely inappropriate
for a single woman
160
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,450
to entertain a man in private.
161
00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:09,350
If you insist on talking,
you must do it on the couch!
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00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:12,720
All right, you may talk in
the bedroom,
163
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,090
but I want this door
to remain open!
164
00:07:15,090 --> 00:07:18,070
All right, just this once
you may close the door.
165
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,530
But keep in mind
I'll be right out here
166
00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,130
monitoring the situation!
167
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,340
Oh, damn it.
168
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:40,610
Leonard, when you get this
message, call me.
169
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:49,860
Priya, this is your brother.
170
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:52,790
When you get this, tell Leonard
to check his voicemail.
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00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,360
Would you be sleeping over
again this evening?
172
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,830
Because you're welcome to.
173
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:02,000
That's very nice of you,
but I made other plans.
174
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,140
Well, just keep in mind that
should you ever need
175
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:10,340
a slightly apathetic tertiary
friend, I stand at the ready.
176
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,240
Hi, Howard.
Hi, Sheldon.
177
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,240
Hello.
Hey.
178
00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:14,960
Why are you
holding hands?
179
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,950
I forbid you to hold hands.
180
00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:20,440
Rajesh, you know Leonard and I
spent the night together.
181
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,120
Yeah, but you were just
sleeping,
182
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,660
because I forboded you
to have sex.
183
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,360
The word is "forbade""
184
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,630
You sure?
That doesn't sound right.
185
00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:32,830
Listen, Rajesh, Leonard and I
have decided
186
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:34,270
to see each other again,
187
00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,030
and you don't get
to tell me
188
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,870
who I can and can't have
a relationship with.
189
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:40,310
Actually, he can.
190
00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:44,780
The Hindu Code of Manu is
very clear in these matters.
191
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,410
If a woman's father is
not around,
192
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:49,880
the duty of controlling her base
desires falls
193
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,720
to the closest male member of
her family, in this case, Raj.
194
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,950
The code also states
195
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,320
that if she disobeys,
she will be reborn
196
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:03,130
"in the womb of a jackal
and tormented by diseases."
197
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,560
If true,
198
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:08,000
that seems
like an awfully large gamble
199
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,200
given that the prize is Leonard.
200
00:09:14,810 --> 00:09:16,140
There it is, Priya.
We're Indian.
201
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,180
We believe this stuff.
202
00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:21,410
I think it also says that
if you eat beef,
203
00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:23,580
you need to live with cows
for three months
204
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:24,750
and drink their urine.
205
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:28,120
Some of it makes sense,
some of it's crazy.
206
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,060
My point is, you can't go out
with Leonard.
207
00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,490
Who can't go out with Leonard?
208
00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:33,730
My sister.
209
00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:36,290
Penny, this is
Raj's sister, Priya.
210
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:37,660
It's very nice to meet you.
211
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,000
Oh, yeah, you, too.
212
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,270
Priya, if you're experiencing
any tension or awkwardness,
213
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:46,350
it may stem from the fact that
Leonard and Penny used to--
214
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:50,010
if I may quote Howard--
"do the dance with no pants."
215
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,110
Sheldon!
216
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,350
Really?
217
00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,070
Hey, Bernadette, can I
talk to you for a second?
218
00:10:00,070 --> 00:10:02,190
Sure.
219
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:04,460
Penny, you became disenchanted
with Leonard
220
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:05,520
as a lover.
221
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,830
Would you please tell
my sister why?
222
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,880
Listen, my mom's
going to Palm Springs
223
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,200
to visit her sister.
224
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,630
That's two whole nights
in a row I can sleep over
225
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,600
with you
all the way to morning.
226
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,970
Unless the desert air
dries out her sinuses,
227
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:18,250
in which case I'll have
to schlep out there
228
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,170
with the big humidifier.
229
00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:22,370
That's it?
230
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,210
That's your big solution
to all of our problems?
231
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:27,580
If your mom's nose holds up,
we get two nights together?
232
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,820
Isn't that great?
233
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,070
No, it's not great.
234
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:33,320
You need to make a choice.
235
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,550
Me or your mother.
236
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,420
Uh...
237
00:10:36,420 --> 00:10:37,560
Wrong answer.
238
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,910
No, wait.
239
00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,280
You didn't let me finish.
240
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,860
I'm listening.
241
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,530
Uh...
242
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:56,300
I came as quickly as I could.
243
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:58,220
Okay.
244
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,240
Why?
245
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,930
To comfort you, of course.
246
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,760
Sheldon told me about Leonard
dating Rajesh's sister.
247
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,250
So I high-tailed it over here
248
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,760
to pick up the pieces
of your broken heart.
249
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,860
Amy, I'm fine.
250
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:14,000
You don't have to
be strong for me.
251
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,520
Now let's talk about Priya,
that man-stealing bitch.
252
00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,100
What?
253
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,770
In situations like this,
254
00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:24,310
best girlfriends are often
catty about the other woman.
255
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,730
Really, I am not upset
about Leonard and Priya.
256
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:35,320
Oh. Then perhaps you don't
understand what's going on.
257
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,190
Your former boyfriend
has replaced you
258
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,050
with what appears to be
a very suitable mate.
259
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,560
Arguably much
more suitable than you.
260
00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:45,930
Oh. Well, good for him.
261
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:47,760
Hey, what do you mean,
"more suitable"?
262
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,200
Well, granted, Penny, your
secondary sexual characteristics
263
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,900
are reasonably bodacious.
264
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,440
But Priya is highly educated,
265
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,970
she's an accomplished
professional,
266
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,310
and she comes from the culture
that literally wrote the book
267
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,410
on neat ways to have sex.
268
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:05,780
Whereas you, on the other hand,
are a community college dropout
269
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:08,580
who comes from the culture that
wrote the book on tipping cows.
270
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,920
Yeah. Okay, I got it.
271
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,220
I got it.
272
00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:15,020
So... what is
all that stuff?
273
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:17,230
This is a portable
electroencephalogram.
274
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,780
I'm doing research
on emotions and brain activity.
275
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,130
So when you start crying,
276
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:23,470
I can see which region
of the brain is activated.
277
00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:26,570
Then I'm going to stimulate
the analogous area
278
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:29,400
in the brain of a rhesus monkey
and see if he cries.
279
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:32,640
Cool, huh?
280
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,460
I choose you.
281
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,130
Really?
282
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,990
Yep. I moved out
of my mother's house.
283
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,060
Cord is cut.
284
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:56,260
I'm all yours.
285
00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:58,620
What did she say
when you told her?
286
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,570
I don't know. She hasn't
responded to my email yet.
287
00:13:01,570 --> 00:13:04,310
This is so great.
288
00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:06,370
I love you, Howard.
289
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:07,660
I love you, too.
290
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,080
So what's for dinner?
291
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,910
Well, I don't really have much
of anything in the house.
292
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:14,820
That's fine.
293
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:17,050
Why don't we go fool
around in our bedroom?
294
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,220
And then you
can go shopping.
295
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:26,010
I thought maybe after we eat,
we could see an early movie.
296
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:27,300
I'd love that.
297
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,930
I love the way you say,
298
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:31,530
"I'd love that."
299
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,700
She says it the same way I do.
300
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:37,210
"I'd love that."
301
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:39,210
Everybody in India
says it that way.
302
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,710
It's not a big deal.
303
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:43,830
Rajesh, don't be a child.
304
00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:44,910
I'm not being a child.
305
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,280
Leonard, I swear to God,
306
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,500
if your sister
ever comes to town,
307
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,220
I shall have my way with her.
308
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:53,390
My sister's 38 and married.
309
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:55,040
All the more shame
that will fall
310
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,060
upon the house of Hofstadter.
311
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,210
Ooh, I thought I smelled pizza.
312
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:03,370
That's remarkable.
313
00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,630
If pepperoni
were an explosive substance,
314
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:07,270
you could replace
German shepherds
315
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,170
at our nation's airports.
316
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,570
Hi. Penny, right?
317
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:13,480
Oh, yes. H-Hi. I'm sorry.
318
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,610
I didn't know you had company.
I don't want to impose.
319
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:17,530
No, no. It's not
an imposition.
320
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:20,880
At this point, in our ecosystem,
you are akin to the plover,
321
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,890
a small scavenging bird
that eats extra food
322
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:25,850
from between
the teeth of crocodiles.
323
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,860
Please, fly into our open maw,
and have at it.
324
00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:35,560
If I had more than a box of
baking soda in my refrigerator,
325
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,930
I wouldn't have to take that.
326
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:42,540
Hi, bestie.
327
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,940
Hi.
328
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,210
So, um, Priya,
329
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:49,510
you're a lawyer, right?
330
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:51,210
I know. Pretty boring, huh?
331
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:54,450
Oh, come on.
It's not boring at all.
332
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:57,850
She's currently helping set up
a secondary derivative market
333
00:14:57,850 --> 00:15:00,360
which would allow
overseas car firms
334
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,820
to hedge their investments
335
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,490
against potential advancements
in battery technology.
336
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:05,780
Hmm?
337
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,330
Thank you, Leonard.
338
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,700
That doesn't make it
sound boring at all.
339
00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:13,800
So, how you holding up?
340
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,140
I'm fine.
341
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:18,910
Oh, who are you kidding?
She's breathtaking.
342
00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:23,080
So, Penny,
343
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,910
Leonard tells me
you're an actress.
344
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,020
That must be
pretty exciting.
345
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,380
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's real great.
346
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,020
Today I drove to Van Nuys
for an audition
347
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,890
I thought was going to be
for a cat food commercial.
348
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,860
Turned out to be porn.
349
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,730
Did you get the part?
350
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,460
I didn't do the audition.
351
00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:43,030
Given the state of your career,
352
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,200
can you really afford
to be picky?
353
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,040
I took acting classes
when I was at Cambridge.
354
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,210
I loved it.
355
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:52,770
We did Taming
of the Shrew.
356
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:55,080
Oh, wow. I love
Taming of the Shrew.
357
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,810
I did a paper
on it in high school.
358
00:15:56,810 --> 00:16:00,280
"Who knows not where
a wasp does wear his sting?
359
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,320
In his tail."
360
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,350
"In his tongue""
"Whose tongue?"
361
00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:05,220
"Yours, if you
talk of tails,
362
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,500
and so farewell."
363
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,510
"What, with my tongue
in your tail?"
364
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,600
I'm regretting
my earlier cattiness.
365
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,370
She is an
absolute delight.
366
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:26,660
Wow.
367
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,080
Wow, indeed.
368
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,420
I can't believe we're
finally living together.
369
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,020
Yeah.
370
00:16:39,020 --> 00:16:40,860
You know what would make
this moment perfect?
371
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,020
What?
372
00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:45,230
A little snack.
You got any string cheese?
373
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,960
No.
374
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,660
I-I might have some cheddar.
375
00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:50,530
Not as good.
376
00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:53,270
You can't make strings with it.
377
00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:55,400
Remind me to put it
on your shopping list.
378
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,710
Okay.
379
00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:59,440
You have
hypo-allergenic detergent?
380
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,610
No.
381
00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:02,030
Better put it on the list.
382
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,980
If you wash my underwear
with regular soap,
383
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,510
I get little red bumps
on my tuchus.
384
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,450
Wait a second.
385
00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:12,890
I'm doing your laundry?
386
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:16,560
Well, honey,
it's not gonna do itself.
387
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,190
Oh, before I forget,
388
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,080
tomorrow morning, you're
driving me to the dentist.
389
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,030
I have to take you?
390
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:25,330
You don't have to take me.
You get to take me.
391
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:28,390
Wait a minute.
Are you telling me
392
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,810
your mother usually takes you
to the dentist?
393
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,370
It's not weird.
394
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:35,110
There's lots of kids there
with their moms.
395
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:38,310
I can't believe this.
396
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:39,980
What? It's fun.
397
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:41,250
If I have no cavities,
398
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,520
afterwards,
we go out for a treat.
399
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,720
All right, Howard, let's get
something straight right now.
400
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,660
I'm not going
to be your mother.
401
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:50,990
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
402
00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:53,060
Where did that come from?
403
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:02,400
Who's that?!
404
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,870
Is it a
sex criminal?!
405
00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:09,540
Nobody wants to do
that to you, Ma!
406
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:11,780
Where were you?!
407
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,210
Didn't you read my email?!
408
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,480
You know I can't turn on
that ferkakta computer!
409
00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:20,720
I left you some brisket
on the kitchen counter!
410
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,390
Thank you!
411
00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:23,760
Remember
to floss after.
412
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,310
We have the dentist
in the morning!
413
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:32,200
Oh, hey.
What's up?
414
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,570
I just wanted to
check in on you.
415
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:34,640
Why?
416
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,340
It seems like the
appropriate thing to do
417
00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:38,270
when one's best friend
finds herself replaced
418
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:39,870
by a smart, beautiful woman
419
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,610
with the smoldering sexuality
of a crouched Bengal tiger.
420
00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:47,250
I already told you,
I'm okay with it.
421
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,420
I mean, if anything,
I'm quite pleased
422
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,800
that Leonard
has found someone
423
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,810
that makes him so happy.
424
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:57,390
It's okay, it's okay.
425
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,530
Thank you.
426
00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:00,160
Now, let's get these
electrodes attached
427
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,850
and see what's going on in that
pretty little noggin of yours.
428
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,070
Okay.
429
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,920
I smell Chinese food.
430
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,390
It's actually Thai.
431
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,490
You're slipping.
432
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,630
Are Leonard and Priya here?
433
00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:24,800
They went to Catalina
for the weekend.
434
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,130
Oh. Where's Raj?
435
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:29,040
At home, forbidding it.
436
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,440
How about Howard?
437
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,640
I'm given to understand
438
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,840
his mother grounded him
for running away.
439
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,980
Oh, okay.
440
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:41,820
Well, I guess it's just
the two of us, huh?
441
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:44,080
Actually, it's
the three of us.
442
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,390
AMY
What up, bestie?
443
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:49,620
Good news.
444
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,090
Thanks to you, I was able
to make a rhesus monkey cry
445
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,260
like a disgraced televangelist.
446
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,100
Great.
447
00:19:57,100 --> 00:19:58,370
So, you feeling better?
448
00:19:58,370 --> 00:19:59,470
Not really.
449
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:02,100
Sheldon, you have
a guest who's upset.
450
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,100
Right. I'll make tea.
451
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:06,660
- Sweetie, it's okay. I don't want tea.
- I'm sorry. It's not optional.
452
00:20:09,350 --> 00:20:12,350
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
453
00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:15,350
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --