﻿1
00:00:03,540 --> 00:00:04,510
Good evening.

2
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:07,540
I'm your guest lecturer,
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

3
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I was expecting applause,

4
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:20,290
but I suppose stunned silence
is equally appropriate.

5
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,950
I agreed to speak
to you this evening,

6
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:26,120
because I was told that you're
the best and the brightest

7
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,360
of this university's
doctoral candidates.

8
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,340
Hmm. Of course,
that's like saying

9
00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:33,650
you are the most important
electron in a hydrogen atom.

10
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,070
'Cause, you see,

11
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:43,440
there's only one electron
in a hydrogen atom.

12
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Best and brightest,
my sweet patootie.

13
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,410
All right, let's begin.

14
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Show of hands,
who here is familiar

15
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:54,490
with the concept
of topological insulators?

16
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Don't kid yourselves.

17
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:01,960
I found another tweet from a
student at Sheldon's lecture.

18
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"Dr. Cooper has taken
a relatively boring subject

19
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"and managed to make it
completely insufferable.

20
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:11,300
Plus, he looks
like a giant insect."

21
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Look. Listen to this one.

22
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"Does Einstein's theory
explain why time flies

23
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"when you're having fun,

24
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,310
"but when you're listening
to Dr. Cooper,

25
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,980
it falls out of the sky, dead?"

26
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,480
Ooh, somebody took pictures

27
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,350
and uploaded them
to their Flickr account.

28
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Wow.

29
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,490
How do you get an
entire lecture hall

30
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to flip you off
at the same time?

31
00:01:32,820 --> 00:01:34,460
Apparently, if you're Sheldon,

32
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:36,930
all you need
to do is turn your back.

33
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,700
Hey, Leonard,
is your wi-fi down?

34
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,660
I can't get on.

35
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,130
Oh, Sheldon changed
the password.

36
00:01:42,130 --> 00:01:44,370
It's now
"Penny is a freeloader."

37
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No spaces.

38
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Thanks.
What are you guys doing?

39
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Sheldon gave a lecture
at the university tonight.

40
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We're reading
the reviews.

41
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Oh. How'd he do?

42
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:55,280
Well, picture the Hindenburg
meets Chernobyl

43
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,850
meets Three Mile Island
meets <i>Tron 2.</i>

44
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That bad, huh?

45
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Read this woman's tweet.

46
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"Listening to Dr. Cooper

47
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has made me want to start
cutting myself again""

48
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Yeah.

49
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,100
Good evening,
Leonard, Howard, Raj,

50
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freeloader.

51
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So, how'd the lecture go?

52
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In a word, triumphant.

53
00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:24,540
Really? Triumphant?

54
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Oh, yes, you should have
seen those young people.

55
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Thirsty for knowledge,
drinking in my wisdom.

56
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,680
I may have changed
a few lives today.

57
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,850
Oh, please let
me tell him.

58
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I don't know,
I kind of promised Howard.

59
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,640
Tell me what?

60
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,230
Actually, we should
all share the moment.

61
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,660
Raj, if you would.

62
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,030
Oh, tweets about my lecture.

63
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,240
Hmm...

64
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,870
That's rather unfair.

65
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,440
That's downright cruel.

66
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,910
Plus, insects
have six legs.

67
00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:05,920
Yeah, I'm not familiar
with the acronym "KMN""

68
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,490
From the context, we think
it means "kill me now."

69
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:16,460
Well, I suppose everyone's
entitled to their own opinion.

70
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,200
I think I'll turn in.

71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,530
I didn't want to teach
those poopy heads, anyway.

72
00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:28,710
FYI, I think that's
what Darth Vader said

73
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just before he started
building the Death Star.

74
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

75
00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:38,780
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

76
00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:40,420
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

77
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,950
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

78
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♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ <i>We built the pyramids</i> ♪

79
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♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

80
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

81
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♪ <i>Bang!</i> ♪

82
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<font color=#00FF00>♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x14 ♪</font>
<font color=#00FFFF>The Thespian Catalyst</font>
Original Air Date on February 3, 2011

83
00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,930
== Sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> ==
== for <font color=#00FFFF>www.addic7ed.com</font> ==
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
 720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --

84
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Sheldon still moping?

85
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:00,990
Yeah, it's weird.
Even though he didn't want

86
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,390
to give the lecture
in the first place,

87
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:04,730
being rejected by those students
really hit him hard.

88
00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:06,180
I know the feeling.

89
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,070
It's like accidentally
walking into a gay bar

90
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:09,670
and then having
no one hit on you.

91
00:04:16,510 --> 00:04:21,280
It-It happened
to a friend of mine.

92
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,450
Are you guys doing okay?

93
00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:24,850
Leonard and I are fine,

94
00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,690
but I think Raj needs
to meet a girl really soon.

95
00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:29,750
Well, that shouldn't
be too hard.

96
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,860
He's such a cutie.

97
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:32,960
Thank you,
but "cute" is for bunnies.

98
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,930
I want to be something
with sex appeal,

99
00:04:34,930 --> 00:04:38,100
like...
like a labradoodle.

100
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Labradoodle?

101
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:44,840
We might be starting
to zero in on your problem.

102
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Don't you listen to them.

103
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You've got plenty
of sex appeal.

104
00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,440
You really think so?

105
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,690
Yeah. You're a hottie.

106
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:54,510
Well, thanks, Bernadette.

107
00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:56,330
And just for the record,

108
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,020
labradoodles are
hypo-allergenic,

109
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which is a very sexy quality to
those troubled by animal dander.

110
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AMY
So, what do you think?

111
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:12,530
It's a charming illusion,
but it does not cheer me up.

112
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Not even when I do this?

113
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No.

114
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:27,810
Well, that was the last arrow
in my quiver of whimsy.

115
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Do you realize that teaching
is the first thing

116
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,150
I've failed at
since my ill-fated attempt

117
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to complete a chin-up
in March of 1989?

118
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,360
If this humiliating experience

119
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,460
is really troubling you,

120
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there are things
we could do about it.

121
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,630
For instance?

122
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,460
Well, the first thing
that comes to mind

123
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:44,860
is isolating the part
of your brain

124
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where the memory is stored
and destroying it with a laser.

125
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Hmm, no.

126
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:52,200
One slip of the hand,

127
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and suddenly I'm sitting
in the Engineering Department,

128
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:57,010
building doodads with Wolowitz.

129
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,710
All right.

130
00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:01,150
Have you considered improving
your socialization skills,

131
00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,380
thus allowing you

132
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,980
to communicate more
effectively with other people?

133
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,550
Isn't that their burden?

134
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:08,550
I'm the one with something
interesting to say.

135
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:11,090
Fair enough, but in its essence,

136
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:12,520
teaching is a performance art.

137
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,030
In the classroom paradigm,

138
00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:16,730
the teacher has the
responsibility to communicate,

139
00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:18,760
as well as entertain and engage.

140
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,170
I sense that you're trying
to slow-walk me to an epiphany.

141
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,070
Would you mind very much
jumping to it?

142
00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:27,570
Perhaps you should consider
taking acting lessons.

143
00:06:27,570 --> 00:06:29,470
Acting lessons.

144
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,440
Interesting.

145
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,010
It might help
if I could act as though I care

146
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:37,750
about my students
and whether or not they learn.

147
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,050
Penny.

148
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:44,110
Penny. Penny.

149
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,140
What?

150
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:49,060
You're an "actress," correct?

151
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,700
I'm not an "actress."

152
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,100
I'm an actress.

153
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,400
All right.

154
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,740
You're an actress.

155
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:00,300
I need you to teach me.

156
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,710
You want an acting lesson?

157
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:04,940
Perhaps two. I'd like
to master the craft.

158
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,750
Okay, where
is this coming from?

159
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:11,620
It has been suggested to
me that acting techniques

160
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,620
could improve my
lecturing, at which,

161
00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,950
if certain tweets and
blogs are to be believed,

162
00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,860
I "suck the big one."

163
00:07:17,860 --> 00:07:20,560
Yeah, I saw those.
They were funny.

164
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,460
I printed a few out
and put 'em on my fridge.

165
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:25,400
So, when could we start?

166
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,130
Okay, just to be clear.

167
00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,900
You are asking me for help
because I know something

168
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:32,340
that the brilliant
Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't.

169
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:36,140
I suppose that's one
way to look at it.

170
00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:38,910
I think it's the only
way to look at it.

171
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,810
Are you going to
help me or not?

172
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,280
Probably. I'm just
enjoying the foreplay.

173
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:46,850
Does this mean you are done
mocking my acting career?

174
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,950
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
making the transition

175
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,820
from actor to acting teacher

176
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,190
was the signal
that one's career

177
00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:55,330
had reached the
end of the road.

178
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,180
Forget it.

179
00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,660
I'll pay you $40.

180
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:02,220
Saturday, 9:00 a.m.
Bring cash.

181
00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:06,570
Raj, I have amazing news!

182
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,540
What?

183
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:08,890
I just got offered
a fellowship

184
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:10,880
at the Weitzmann
Institute in Israel.

185
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,640
Dude, that's incredible!
I know.

186
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,550
The only thing is, I'm
gonna be gone for two years.

187
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,350
Aw, I'm gonna miss you.

188
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:18,480
Are you going with him?

189
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,380
I have to stay
here for school.

190
00:08:20,390 --> 00:08:22,450
That's what we're here
to talk to you about.

191
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:26,890
You see,
Bernadette has needs.

192
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,530
What kind of needs?

193
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:32,160
Sexual needs.

194
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,400
Most of them regular,

195
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,900
some of them
kind of messed up.

196
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,670
So, while I'm gone,

197
00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:43,910
you're going
to have to satisfy her.

198
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,710
What do you say?

199
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:51,180
I say okey-dokey.

200
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:58,220
What ya thinking
so hard about?

201
00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:02,360
Just that
I'm definitely not gay.

202
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,940
SHELDON
Penny!

203
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:14,700
Penny! Penny!

204
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:15,610
What's wrong?

205
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:18,110
Nothing.
I was acting.

206
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:20,980
You were acting.

207
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:23,460
Yes. In preparation
for today's studies,

208
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:25,680
I read Stanislavski's
<i>An Actor Prepares,</i>

209
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,850
Stella Adler's
<i>The Technique of Acting,</i>

210
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:29,420
Uta Hagen's
<i>Respect for Acting,</i>

211
00:09:29,420 --> 00:09:32,790
and Henry Winkler's
<i>Ayyy, I'm an Actor.</i>

212
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,690
Well, good for you.

213
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,640
Come on in.

214
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,760
How shall we begin?

215
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,460
Well, I thought we'd start

216
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:41,930
with some
basic movement exercises.

217
00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:43,770
You know, get our bodies
warmed up a little.

218
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,000
All right.

219
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,170
So I just want you to relax

220
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,040
and kind of
move around in the space.

221
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,820
You know,
just do whatever feels natural.

222
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,450
Sheldon?

223
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:02,150
You said to do whatever
feels natural.

224
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:04,090
This feels natural.

225
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,120
Certainly more natural

226
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,920
than what you're doing.

227
00:10:07,930 --> 00:10:09,190
Come on,
you got to work with me.

228
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:10,930
We need to get connected
with our bodies.

229
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:13,900
Penny, my body and I have
a relationship

230
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,200
that works best
when we maintain a cool,

231
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,300
wary distance from each other.

232
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:22,940
All right,
let's just say we've warmed up.

233
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,990
You're the "teacher."

234
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,250
Okay. One of the things
that might help you

235
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:30,550
in connecting with your students

236
00:10:30,550 --> 00:10:32,420
is being
a little more spontaneous.

237
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,350
So why don't we
try some improvisation?

238
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:35,750
Why not?
It seems like

239
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,690
you're improvising
your entire curriculum.

240
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:42,960
This is all about
listening and responding.

241
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:43,930
Gotcha.

242
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:45,160
I'm going to create a character

243
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,880
and a situation, and you
just jump in when you feel it.

244
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,380
All right.
All right.

245
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,430
Action.

246
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,970
Okay, it's not a movie.

247
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:56,140
It's improv.
So no one calls "action."

248
00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:58,190
Hey, you taught me something.

249
00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:00,680
Who would have thought it?

250
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:04,110
Okay.

251
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,920
Uh, no, the shipment
has not arrived,

252
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,520
and I really need those shoes.

253
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:08,740
They are my biggest seller.

254
00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:10,500
Yes, ladies sizes six
through ten.

255
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,890
Thank you.
Oh, sorry.

256
00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:14,320
I have to go.
I have a customer. Bye-bye.

257
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,540
Hi. Can I help you?

258
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:19,260
I'd like a frozen yogurt,
please.

259
00:11:21,130 --> 00:11:23,170
Yogurt?

260
00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,700
Yeah.
Um...

261
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,970
Okay, sure.

262
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:29,440
Luckily, we sell both shoes
and yogurt here.

263
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:32,040
You do?

264
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,550
Yes. Look up at the sign,

265
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:38,380
and remember, improv is always
about saying yes.

266
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:40,550
All right.

267
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,740
Yes.

268
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,690
I see a sign.

269
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:49,430
It says "Camarillo State
Mental Hospital."

270
00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:52,200
What?

271
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,800
It's the only explanation
I can come up with

272
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,130
for why you think
you sell shoes and yogurt.

273
00:11:58,140 --> 00:11:59,540
Okay, you know what?

274
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,370
Let's just try
a different improv. Uh..

275
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,640
Oh, this time
we will be two winos

276
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,410
living under a freeway overpass.

277
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:08,580
Oh, and we're going
to use props?

278
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,580
You bet.

279
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:13,880
I had dreams,
you know.

280
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,220
I was gonna be famous.

281
00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:17,600
Show everybody back home
I could be someone.

282
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,560
Now look at me.

283
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,560
Want some?

284
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,390
You have any frozen yogurt?

285
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,870
I'm still not adjusted

286
00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:32,540
to how the SyFy channel
spells their name now.

287
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:36,170
S-y-F-y.
That's "siffy."

288
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:38,170
Uh-huh.

289
00:12:41,910 --> 00:12:44,050
Hello?

290
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:47,480
Oh, my God! Is he okay?

291
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,390
What happened?
Hang on. Hang on.

292
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:51,220
Uh-huh.

293
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,760
Okay, thank you.

294
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,190
Howard was on his scooter,
and got hit by a truck.

295
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:58,190
He's in critical condition.

296
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,400
Oh, no!

297
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,370
Did you hear?

298
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:05,280
Isn't it terrible?

299
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:06,420
Have you seen him?

300
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,700
They wouldn't let me in.

301
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:10,640
Oh, my Howie.

302
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,210
It'll be okay.
It'll be okay.

303
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,210
It'll be okay.

304
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:18,210
It'll be
okay.

305
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,080
It's Howard.

306
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:24,990
Howard, hello.

307
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:28,560
Raj, is that you?

308
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,430
Yeah, I'm right here,
buddy. How are you?

309
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:31,960
Shh, shh. Listen to me.

310
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,500
I'm not gonna make it.

311
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,000
No, no, no,
don't say that.

312
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,600
You're going to
be all right.

313
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,900
Raj, I don't have time.
Now, pay attention.

314
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:43,910
My last wish is that
you look after Bernadette.

315
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,110
Of course, of course.

316
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,410
Now when you say "look
after," you mean...

317
00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,350
Sexually.

318
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:55,720
Excuse me, Bernadette.
I have to hear it from him.

319
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,520
Sexually.

320
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,260
Got it. Take care.

321
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:02,990
I guess I have no choice

322
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,760
but to make sweet,
guilt-free love to you

323
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,980
over and over again
for the rest of my life.

324
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,100
That's how I heard it.

325
00:14:15,970 --> 00:14:17,210
Or it could be "sy-fee."

326
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,410
What?

327
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:21,110
S-y-F-y. "Sy-fee."

328
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,710
Oh, right.

329
00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,910
Good one.

330
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:29,490
So, did you get a chance
to go over the scene I gave you?

331
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,670
Yes. I didn't care for it.

332
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:37,630
Okay, <i>Cat on a Hot Tin Roof</i>
is an American classic.

333
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:38,900
So is the McRib sandwich.

334
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,960
I don't care
for that, either.

335
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:46,800
Fine. What would you rather do
as a scene study?

336
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,440
I'm glad you asked.

337
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:49,670
I took the liberty

338
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,610
of adapting a <i>Star Trek</i>
fan fiction novella

339
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,140
I wrote when I was ten

340
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:55,950
into a one-act play.

341
00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:59,350
And you think it's better
than Tennessee Williams?

342
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:03,350
Why don't we leave that for
future generations to decide?

343
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:07,290
<i>Where No Sheldon</i>
<i>Has Gone Before.</i>

344
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:11,160
It's the story of a young boy
who is transported

345
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,730
from the ignorant backwoods
of East Texas

346
00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:15,260
to the 23rd Century,

347
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:20,540
where his genius is not only
appreciated, but celebrated.

348
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:22,760
KMN...

349
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:25,890
Now, in this
pivotal scene,

350
00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:29,310
Sheldon's mother, played by you,
argues with an emissary

351
00:15:29,310 --> 00:15:32,210
of the United Federation
of Planets, Mr. Spock,

352
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,850
the role I will bring to life.

353
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,320
Okay, that's fine,
but let's try

354
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,420
and get you out
of your comfort zone.

355
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,260
Why would we want to do that?

356
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:44,030
It's called "the comfort zone"
for a reason.

357
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,200
Okay, the whole point of this is
to loosen you up a little,

358
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,730
so I'm thinking you'll play
the role of your mother,

359
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,970
and I will bring life
to Mr. Spock.

360
00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:59,080
I'm sorry.

361
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,880
You'll be Spock?

362
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,550
It's only logical.

363
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:08,220
Very well.

364
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:09,550
I'll set the scene.

365
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:10,520
All right.

366
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,520
"East Texas.

367
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,810
"A warm summer night.

368
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:16,340
"A woman, Mary,

369
00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,460
"stands on a porch.

370
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:21,100
In the distance, we hear a
lonesome train whistle..."

371
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,270
"The droning buzz of cicadas..""

372
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:29,290
"A coyote howls at the moon,

373
00:16:29,290 --> 00:16:31,710
frightening sensitive young boys
everywhere."

374
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,010
"Out in the woods,

375
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:36,710
an owl screeches..."
Okay, okay.

376
00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:38,350
We get it.
You set the scene.

377
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,420
Hoo!

378
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,750
Now just read
your mother's line.

379
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,920
"Shelly!

380
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,460
"Shelly, how many times
have I told you

381
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:53,730
"not to leave your sciencey
stuff out on the porch?

382
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:55,430
"Goodness,

383
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,900
"I'll never understand that boy.

384
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,840
"But then again,
I'm a religious nut,

385
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,940
and my mind is closed
to so many things."

386
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:12,110
"Spock to <i>Enterprise.</i>
Transport successful."

387
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,380
"Glory be to Heaven,

388
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:18,090
"some sort of creature
just manifested out of thin air.

389
00:17:18,090 --> 00:17:20,520
"George, put down that Pepsi can
full of bourbon

390
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,790
that ain't foolin' no one,
and get your shotgun!"

391
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,050
"Greetings, Mary Cooper.

392
00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:28,300
I am Spock."

393
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:33,050
I'm sorry.
I just don't buy it.

394
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,140
Just keep going!

395
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:41,440
"Oh, my, your sudden appearance
startles me."

396
00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:43,280
"We have been monitoring
your son Sheldon

397
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,950
"from the 23rd Century, and

398
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:46,720
"we have determined
that he is now ready

399
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,980
"to join us.

400
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,820
"His unique genius
is our best hope

401
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:52,860
for bringing peace
to a vast and troubled galaxy."

402
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,260
"I understand.

403
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:56,360
"Oh, Shelly?

404
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,960
"A man's here
to take you away to the future!

405
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,830
Be sure to pack
clean underwear."

406
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,300
Okay, okay, let's try
that last line again,

407
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,170
and this time,
maybe try choking up

408
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,770
a little.
Why?

409
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:09,310
Well, you're losing your son.

410
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:11,610
Yes, but he's going
to a better place

411
00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:14,840
where he won't get beat up...
so much.

412
00:18:14,850 --> 00:18:16,810
All right, come on,
just try it my way.

413
00:18:16,810 --> 00:18:18,380
Pretend you're sad
to see him go.

414
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,770
I'm gonna lead you in.

415
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,740
"His unique genius
is our best hope

416
00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:26,440
for bringing peace
to a vast and troubled galaxy."

417
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:30,860
- That's your cue.
- I'm sorry. I just love that line.

418
00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:33,530
Even the way you do it.

419
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,060
All right, come on, come on.

420
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:37,420
Put some real emotion into it.

421
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,200
Blah-blah, blah, blah...
"vast and troubled galaxy."

422
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,600
Go.
Hmm.

423
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,210
"Oh, Shelly?

424
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,910
A man's here
to take you away to the future""

425
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:52,650
"Be sure to pack clean
underwear."

426
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,930
That's good. That's good.
That's good.

427
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:58,390
Mommy, why are you crying?

428
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:01,360
'Cause I'm gonna
miss you, Shelly-bean,

429
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,930
even though you creep
the bugeeses out of me.

430
00:19:04,930 --> 00:19:06,810
Okay, I guess
we're improvising now.

431
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:08,230
I'm sorry.

432
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,700
It's not my fault.

433
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:11,270
I'm just incredibly smart,

434
00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:14,770
and everyone around here is
dumber than a bag of rocks.

435
00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:16,640
Oh, now, don't
you start crying.

436
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,120
You get in that spaceship.

437
00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:19,740
Mommy's late for
Indian bingo.

438
00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:25,110
Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny.

439
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,120
Yeah, I think I broke your son.

440
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,380
Hey, hold on.

441
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:29,520
Talk to your mother.

442
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,390
Mommy, I love you.

443
00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,890
Don't let Spock take
me to the future!

444
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:43,180
Okay, Raj,

445
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,840
I know you've been avoiding me
and Howard, and I'm not leaving

446
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,370
until you tell me
what's going on

447
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:48,780
inside that little head
of yours.

448
00:19:58,050 --> 00:20:00,350
♪ Like the wild elephant ♪

449
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:02,620
♪ I am trumpeting
my love for you! ♪

450
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,520
♪ Like a hidden flower ♪

451
00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:07,090
♪ My sweet fragrance
comes into view! ♪

452
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:20,040
♪ My heart burns for you
like the sun at noon! ♪

453
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:24,480
♪ My desert welcomes you
like the rainy monsoon! ♪

454
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,480
♪ You are my heart! ♪

455
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,780
♪ My universe! ♪

456
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,650
♪ You are my heart! ♪

457
00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:34,870
♪ My universe! ♪

458
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:35,920
♪ <i>Hey!</i> ♪

459
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,420
♪ You are my heart! ♪

460
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,660
♪ My universe! ♪

461
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,830
♪ You are my heart! ♪

462
00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:44,550
♪ My universe! ♪

463
00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:46,170
♪ You are my heart! ♪

464
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:52,640
♪ My universe! ♪

465
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:02,930
Dance number aside,
I'm so not gay.

466
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,320
-- Sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> --
-- for <font color=#00FFFF>www.addic7ed.com</font> --

467
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,480
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
 720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --

