1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,930
No, seriously,
I think
2
00:00:04,930 --> 00:00:07,030
I've finally figured out
my problem with women.
3
00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:10,740
The capybara is the largest
member of the rodent family.
4
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:13,170
What does that have to do
with me and women?
5
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:14,670
Nothing.
It was a desperate attempt
6
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,580
to introduce an alternate topic
of conversation.
7
00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:20,750
My problem is,
I don't project confidence.
8
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:23,650
So I decided that
the next time I meet a woman
9
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,720
I think is attractive,
rather than holding back
10
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,520
and being cautious,
I'm going to assume
11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,050
the mantle of self-assurance.
12
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,790
Oh, yeah?
What's that look like?
13
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:36,630
Hi.
14
00:00:36,630 --> 00:00:39,360
I'm Leonard.
15
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,270
And you are beautiful.
16
00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:44,600
You pop, sparkle
and buzz electric.
17
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,670
I'm going to pick you up
at 8:00,
18
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:50,780
show you a night
you will never forget.
19
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,610
Where are we going?
20
00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:58,480
Good news.
21
00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,320
I made it
onto the team
22
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,520
for the new Defense Department
23
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,270
laser-equipped
surveillance satellite.
24
00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:05,160
Excuse me.
25
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,060
If we're changing topics,
I believe I have first dibs
26
00:01:07,060 --> 00:01:11,130
with capybara, a rodent
the size of a baby hippo.
27
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,450
Congratulations,
Howard.
28
00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:14,700
Thanks.
29
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,900
Listen, I have to get
a security clearance,
30
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,810
so you guys might be
hearing from the FBI.
31
00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:20,870
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
32
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,570
I don't want to speak
to the FBI.
33
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,880
Why not?
34
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,710
I'm brown and I talk funny.
35
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:29,100
They're just doing
a background check on me.
36
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,480
It doesn't matter;
they'll find a reason
37
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,890
to give me a one-way ticket
back to Gandhi-ville.
38
00:01:32,890 --> 00:01:34,090
By the way,
39
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:36,120
when I say that,
it's not offensive.
40
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,190
Don't be ridiculous, Raj.
41
00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:39,490
You're here legally.
42
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,130
Nobody cares.
Do you know how long it's been
43
00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:42,460
since I got through
airport security
44
00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:44,660
without being given
a colonoscopy?
45
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,100
You know, I
try very hard
46
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,800
to make our lunch hours
educational and informative,
47
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,640
but your insistence on
talking about your own lives
48
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,470
stymies me at
every turn.
49
00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:57,780
Fine, Sheldon, tell us
about your giant rodents.
50
00:01:57,780 --> 00:01:59,610
1No, you squandered
your time with me,
51
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,460
and the moment
has now passed.
52
00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,170
Feast on your disappointment,
53
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:05,720
much as the capybara
feasts on its own waste.
54
00:02:08,290 --> 00:02:11,920
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
55
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:15,260
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
56
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,900
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
57
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,460
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
58
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,100
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
59
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,750
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
60
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,660
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
61
00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,640
♪ Bang! ♪
62
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,840
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x07 ♪
The Apology Insufficiency
Original Air Date on November 4, 2010
63
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,040
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
64
00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:39,570
Oh, Bella, don't you see?
65
00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:43,340
Edward's only pushing you away
because he loves you.
66
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:45,510
Coming.
67
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,150
Dr. Koothrappali?
68
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,860
I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
69
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,020
May I come in?
70
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:03,730
I'd like to talk to you
about Howard Wolowitz.
71
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:05,230
Oh, thank you.
72
00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:06,320
All right.
73
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,240
Well, how long
have you known Mr. Wolowitz?
74
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:17,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
75
00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:32,790
Rum cake?
76
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:33,960
No, thanks.
77
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,230
Now, about Mr.
Wolowitz...
78
00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:37,500
Seven years.
79
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,570
I see.
80
00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:43,400
I'm in this country
legally, you know.
81
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,110
I'm sure you are.
82
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:49,740
Now, to your knowledge, has Mr.
Wolowitz ever committed a crime?
83
00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:50,980
Of course not.
84
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,330
I'm here on an H-1B visa,
85
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:54,410
which means I can't be
associated in any way
86
00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,950
with crime
or criminal activity.
87
00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:57,380
And I'm not.
88
00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:58,790
Good.
89
00:03:58,790 --> 00:04:00,320
To your knowledge,
does Mr. Wolowitz
90
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,790
have any foreign
contacts?
91
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:04,160
No, just me.
92
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,760
Oh, there it is.
93
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,710
Here comes a cavity search.
94
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,550
Excuse me?
95
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,300
Please don't send me back
to India; it's so crowded!
96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,330
It's like the whole country
is one endless Comic-Con,
97
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:19,010
except everybody's wearing
the same costume: Indian Guy.
98
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:21,220
Dr. Koothrappali, I'm not...
I love this country!
99
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:23,680
The-the baseball,
the freedom,
100
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,530
the rampant morbid obesity!
101
00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:27,700
From California
to the New York Island!
102
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:28,870
I'm a real Yankee Doodle boy!
103
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,820
Dr. Koothrappali,
please.
104
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:33,220
♪ My country 'tis of thee... ♪
105
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,520
♪ ...liberty ♪
106
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,490
♪ It's really great. ♪
107
00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:43,360
So, when Howard said the FBI
would be contacting me,
108
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,430
I was expecting Mulder.
109
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,530
Glad to see I got Scully.
110
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,540
Who?
111
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,270
Mulder and Scully.
112
00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:53,040
X-Files.
113
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,210
"The truth is out there."
114
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,280
Never mind.
115
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,310
Uh, so, what would you
like to know?
116
00:04:59,310 --> 00:05:03,020
You work with Mr. Wolowitz here
at the university, correct?
117
00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,350
Yes. Of course, we're in
different departments.
118
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:07,550
He's an engineer and I'm
an experimental physicist.
119
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:09,020
You know, one
of those guys
120
00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:11,590
who examines the building blocks
of creation
121
00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:15,660
and says,
"Hello, maker of the universe.
122
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:18,130
"I see what you did there.
123
00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,830
Good one."
124
00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:21,470
Right.
125
00:05:21,470 --> 00:05:22,740
Now, how would you characterize
126
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,800
your relationship
with Mr. Wolowitz?
127
00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,940
Good.
128
00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:29,580
It's a good
relationship.
129
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,780
Of course, most of my
relationships are good.
130
00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:35,950
Probably because
I exude confidence.
131
00:05:35,950 --> 00:05:38,320
People are drawn to that,
you know?
132
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,990
Confidence, not exuding.
133
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,640
Do you know of any groups
Mr. Wolowitz is a member of?
134
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,640
You are beautiful,
135
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,660
you know that?
136
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:54,330
You pop, sparkle
and buzz electric.
137
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,570
I'm going to pick you up
at 8:00,
138
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:01,870
show you a night
you will never forget.
139
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,880
Sounds great.
140
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,580
Really?
141
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:07,830
Yeah.
142
00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:11,580
Can my six-foot-two Navy SEAL
husband come with us?
143
00:06:11,590 --> 00:06:13,300
Is that...?
144
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:16,120
Oh, my, I didn't see the ring
with my glasses off, so...
145
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,340
Look at that,
I'm starting to exude.
146
00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:24,930
Want to get that?
147
00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:27,230
Not particularly.
148
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:29,170
Could you get that?
149
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,800
I suppose I could
if I were asked.
150
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,770
Would you please get that?
151
00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:36,480
Of course.
152
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,480
Why do you have to make things
so complicated?
153
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,720
Dr. Cooper?
154
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:44,650
Yes.
155
00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,450
I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
156
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:54,290
You say you're Special
Agent Page, FBI.
157
00:06:54,290 --> 00:06:55,230
Here's my I.D.
158
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:57,180
And here is
159
00:06:57,180 --> 00:07:01,570
my Justice League
membership card.
160
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,300
But that doesn't
prove I know Batman.
161
00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:10,080
I just want to ask you a few
questions about Howard Wolowitz.
162
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,180
Oh. All right.
163
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,950
I doubt anyone
would risk
164
00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:17,570
the stiff penalties for
impersonating a federal officer
165
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,990
just to ask questions about
a minor league engineer
166
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:21,790
with an unresolved
Oedipal complex.
167
00:07:23,570 --> 00:07:24,590
Thank you.
168
00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:27,990
For the record,
I truly support the FBI
169
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,830
in the mission
which is expressed
170
00:07:29,830 --> 00:07:31,100
through their motto...?
171
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,770
Fidelity, bravery, integrity.
172
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:36,250
Correct. Now to business.
173
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:40,770
18 years ago, I sent
the FBI Crime Lab samples
174
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:43,380
from a bag of excrement
that had been lit on fire
175
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,710
on my front porch...
176
00:07:46,450 --> 00:07:50,150
...for fingerprinting
and DNA analysis.
177
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:52,150
Why haven't I heard back yet?
178
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:56,720
Well, the FBI Crime Lab
does have a lot on its plate.
179
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,660
That's of little comfort
to a nation
180
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:01,960
attempting to scrape
burning feces off its shoes.
181
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,130
Would you mind if we talked
about Mr. Wolowitz now?
182
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:07,500
A little, but go on.
183
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,620
Thank you.
184
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:11,870
Would you characterize him
as responsible?
185
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:15,780
I'm going to answer that
with a visual aid.
186
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:19,550
This is my nine-disc complete
187
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:22,210
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Blu-ray set.
188
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,350
Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it,
189
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:27,270
damaged plastic retention
hub number three...
190
00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:35,140
...and then returned it to me,
hoping I wouldn't notice.
191
00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:38,900
Would you characterize that
as responsible?
192
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,770
That's really not the sort of
thing we're interested in.
193
00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:45,070
You heard me say
Blu-ray, right?
194
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:46,610
I did.
195
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,810
Very well.
196
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,110
Would you be interested
197
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:52,450
in knowing that Mr. Wolowitz
once snuck onto
198
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:55,450
my World of Warcraft account
and changed the name
199
00:08:55,450 --> 00:09:00,320
of a certain level-80 warlock
from Sheldor to Smeldor?
200
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,890
I'm afraid not.
201
00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:04,090
Is there anything else?
202
00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:05,090
"Is there anything else?"
203
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,260
Where would you like to start?
204
00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:07,990
He refuses to pay fines
205
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,930
when he's overdue
with books I lend him.
206
00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:12,970
He crashed the Mars Rover while
attempting to impress a woman.
207
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,500
He recommended that I go see
208
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,100
the third Matrix movie
because it was, and I quote,
209
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:20,520
"just as good
as the first one."
210
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,980
If that's not irresponsible,
I don't know what is.
211
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,910
The Mars Rover?
212
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:33,420
Did I say Mars Rover?
213
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,420
You did.
214
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,760
That was actually
a poorly chosen example,
215
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,490
as it had nothing
to do with me.
216
00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:42,160
Yes, well, let's talk
about it anyway.
217
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,660
I don't want to.
218
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,870
Not that my disinclination
219
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:47,900
to discuss the topic
should be interpreted as
220
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:50,470
evidence of Howard Wolowitz's
culpability in the destruction
221
00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:53,510
of government property
worth millions of dollars.
222
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,770
Thank you, Dr. Cooper.
223
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,380
I think I have all I need.
224
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,140
Oh, good.
225
00:09:58,150 --> 00:09:59,860
I was afraid you were
going to fixate
226
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,480
on that Mars Rover incident.
227
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,360
Hey, buddies.
228
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,570
Guess who didn't get
security clearance
229
00:10:10,570 --> 00:10:12,190
to work on
the giant space laser?
230
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,990
What happened?
231
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,160
Apparently, the background
interviews didn't go well.
232
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,500
You guys wouldn't
know anything
233
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,130
about that, would you?
234
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,600
Well, actually,
I may have gotten
235
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,800
a little tipsy
when I talked to her.
236
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:26,540
And I may have
237
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,310
hit on her a little bit.
238
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,840
I may have thrown up
rum cake on her shoes.
239
00:10:31,850 --> 00:10:33,650
I see.
240
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:36,520
Well, it's good to know, when
I need you guys, I can always
241
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,420
count on you to step up
and ruin everything.
242
00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,660
I feel awful.
243
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:44,560
Ah, me, too.
244
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,590
To tell you the truth,
245
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:46,990
I thought if anyone was going to
246
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:48,530
screw things up for Howard,
it'd be Sheldon.
247
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:53,370
Well, your expectations
have been subverted.
248
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:55,070
Aha.
249
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:05,300
What are you doing up?
250
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,470
Sleep eludes me, Leonard.
251
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,850
Really?
252
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,360
Maybe sleep has met you before.
253
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,910
Mockery?
254
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,730
That's all you have to offer?
255
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:16,050
I'm sorry. Why can't you sleep?
256
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,450
Who knows?
257
00:11:17,450 --> 00:11:19,850
I haven't watched
any scary movies recently.
258
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:22,520
I'm no longer obsessing
over why the predicted mass
259
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,490
of the quantum vacuum
has little effect
260
00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:26,520
on the expansion
of the universe.
261
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,240
And it's been weeks since I took
that accidental sip of Red Bull.
262
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,560
Did something happen today
that's bothering you?
263
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,900
Well, I did mention
264
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:37,700
the Mars Rover incident
to that FBI agent
265
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,440
and probably cost Howard
his security clearance.
266
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,540
What?
But why should that keep me up?
267
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,670
Because you feel guilty?
268
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,510
Interesting.
269
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:52,150
So you're saying my insomnia is
caused by a guilty conscience.
270
00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:53,850
Actually,
you don't have insomnia.
271
00:11:53,850 --> 00:11:55,220
You're sleeping now.
272
00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:56,350
Excuse me?
273
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:58,450
You're having
a guilt-ridden dream.
274
00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,120
Do you have any evidence
to support that hypothesis?
275
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,860
How about that Gorn
sitting on the couch?
276
00:12:07,610 --> 00:12:10,370
That seems fairly conclusive.
277
00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:13,840
No, Gorn, no.
278
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,660
That's where I sit.
279
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:21,080
Thank you for agreeing
to see me, Agent Page.
280
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:25,080
Thank you for filing a complaint
with my superior, Dr. Cooper.
281
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,100
I understand
you want to recant
282
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,620
your statement
about Howard Wolowitz.
283
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,120
Yes.
Was your statement untrue?
284
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,990
No.
285
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:37,190
Then I'm afraid
you can't withdraw it.
286
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:41,510
I'm sorry. I don't recall
you saying "no backsies."
287
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,200
Is there anything else?
288
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,900
Yes. I'd like to offer
a laudatory statement
289
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,000
about Howard's many excellent
qualities that I believe
290
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:50,770
will tip the scales
back in his favor.
291
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,580
"Howard Joel Wolowitz.
292
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:56,610
"H is for honesty,
of which he has much.
293
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,150
"O's for outstanding,
294
00:12:58,150 --> 00:12:59,980
"which he is such.
295
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,580
"W's for witty,
he's quick with a joke.
296
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:04,840
A's for artistic, his ability...
" I'm sorry.
297
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,860
Dr. Cooper, this matter
is already closed.
298
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:11,030
But I still have
"rd Joel Wolowitz" left to go.
299
00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,380
It's closed.
300
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,930
I don't understand
why you people
301
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,530
are picking on my
friend, Howard,
302
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,770
when there are much more serious
security threats to pursue.
303
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,870
For instance,
when I first met Leonard,
304
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:23,710
he was on the verge
of giving away
305
00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,670
rocket secrets
to a North Korean spy,
306
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,580
and not one agent
ever investigated that.
307
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:31,080
This is Leonard Hofstadter?
308
00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:33,950
No, it's a different Leonard.
309
00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:35,200
He's...
310
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,370
Chinese, red hair, six fingers.
311
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:37,790
Good-bye.
312
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,460
Raj.
313
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,090
Have you seen Howard?
314
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,130
I think he's eating lunch.
315
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:48,630
Uh, Sheldon, I want you
to meet Neil deGrasse Tyson
316
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:50,700
from the Hayden Planetarium
in New York.
317
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,730
I'm quite familiar
with Dr. Tyson.
318
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:55,300
He's responsible
for the demotion of Pluto
319
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,110
from planetary status.
320
00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:58,770
I liked Pluto.
321
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,380
Ergo I do not like you.
322
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:03,910
But I actually
didn't demote Pluto.
323
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,080
That was a vote
324
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,720
of the International
Astronomical Union.
325
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,880
If "ifs" and "buts"
were candy and nuts,
326
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,720
we'd all have a merry Christmas.
327
00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,940
Think about that, Dr. Tyson.
328
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,760
Is that the guy you
were telling me about?
329
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,060
Oh, yeah.
330
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,000
Howard.
331
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,570
The person at fault for you
332
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:26,840
not getting
a security clearance is me.
333
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,570
You?
334
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,840
Yes, but before you get upset,
I want you to know
335
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,640
I went to the FBI
and retracted my statement.
336
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,480
And they were okay with that?
337
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,410
No. If anything,
I made it worse.
338
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:42,320
In any case, I have
been riddled with guilt,
339
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,920
which is causing
Gorn-infested REM sleep.
340
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,660
So, I'm here now
to say I'm sorry.
341
00:14:48,660 --> 00:14:50,160
Are you kidding me?
342
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,830
You've set my career back
at least two years,
343
00:14:52,830 --> 00:14:55,260
and you think you can make it
right with "I'm sorry"?
344
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,730
Yes.
345
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:59,200
I followed the social protocol.
346
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,140
I attempted to right the wrong,
and when I failed to do so,
347
00:15:02,140 --> 00:15:03,740
I delivered a heartfelt apology.
348
00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:04,940
Now you say,
349
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,240
"Apology accepted,"
350
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,880
and I will offer you
a one-time-only high five.
351
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,220
Your apology is not accepted.
352
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:14,330
You're tricking me.
353
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,550
It really is, isn't it?
354
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,890
Leave me alone, Sheldon.
355
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,660
Dr. Cooper, I just
wanted you to know
356
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,560
I'm sorry for the role I
played in the Pluto matter.
357
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,260
Oh, shut up.
358
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,600
Sheldon?
359
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,640
Hello.
360
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:36,640
What are you doing here?
361
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,040
I have troubles, Penny.
362
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,640
I've come to pour them out
363
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,180
to the sympathetic ear
of the local barkeep.
364
00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:45,450
You know, they have
a really nice bar
365
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:47,320
over at the Olive Garden.
366
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,450
I don't like the Olive Garden.
367
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,890
They treat me like family.
368
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,620
Okay, Sheldon.
What can I get you?
369
00:15:55,630 --> 00:15:56,890
Alcohol.
370
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,190
Could you be
a little more specific?
371
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,860
Ethyl alcohol.
372
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,070
40 milliliters.
373
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:05,470
I'm sorry, honey.
I don't know milliliters.
374
00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:08,240
Ah. Blame President James
"Jimmy" Carter.
375
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,370
He started America on a path
to the metric system
376
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,080
but then just gave up.
377
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,140
He wonders why he
was a one-term president.
378
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,680
Would you say that's
about 40 milliliters?
379
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,920
More or less.
Great.
380
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:24,020
Now, where were we?
381
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,120
I believe you were about
to ask me to choose a cocktail.
382
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,490
Fortunately, thanks
to computer-savvy alcoholics,
383
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,790
there's an app for that.
384
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,060
Let's see.
385
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,430
Harvey Wallbanger. Eh.
386
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,970
Sex on the Beach.
I hardly think so.
387
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,300
Rob Roy,
388
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,070
Silk Slipper, Mad Hatter.
389
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,710
Ooh!
390
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:47,240
I'll have a Rosewater Ricky.
391
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,480
A what?
You'll need pitted,
392
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,250
brandied cherries, gin,
rosewater,
393
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:54,720
Angostura bitters
and overproofed rum.
394
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,820
Now, first, dust
the cherries with sugar,
395
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:59,760
then spray them with a mixture
of rum and bitters.
396
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,290
Then ignite the rum,
caramel...
397
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:03,960
Here you go-- one
Rosewater Ricky.
398
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,660
That's not how it looks
in the picture.
399
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:08,460
Oh, yeah, you know, every
bartender makes it differently.
400
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,030
Why don't you
give it a try.
401
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,000
All right.
402
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:16,040
To the metric system.
403
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,020
I can't taste the cherries.
404
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,420
All right.
Sheldon, what's on your mind?
405
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:37,260
I wronged Howard,
and he won't accept my apology.
406
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:38,430
Oh, right, that.
407
00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,600
Yes, Leonard told me.
Sorry, honey.
408
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,770
Penny, you face failure
on a daily basis.
409
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,940
How do you cope?
410
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,040
I drink.
411
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,460
To drinking.
412
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,610
Nope.
413
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:01,880
Oh, if only there were some way
414
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,690
to force Howard
to accept my apology
415
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:06,760
so I could escape
this miasma of guilt.
416
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,360
You know, sometimes
stuff just happens,
417
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,090
and there's nothing
you can do about it.
418
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,390
For example, Lisa Peterson
419
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,230
hasn't talked to me
since the 11th grade,
420
00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:15,230
because no matter how
much you apologize,
421
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:18,900
you can't go back and
un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
422
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,140
I see.
423
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:24,310
You're saying I'm facing
Starfleet Academy's
424
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,680
unwinnable command scenario:
the Kobayashi Maru.
425
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,840
Exactly.
426
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,110
Sometimes you can't win.
427
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,610
Captain Kirk won.
428
00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:35,980
Kirk cheated.
429
00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:39,090
Impressive that you know that.
430
00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,220
It's hard to believe
431
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,020
I'm actually having
this conversation with you.
432
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,830
Right there with you.
433
00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:51,870
Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru
by reprogramming the simulator.
434
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:53,970
That's it.
What?
435
00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:56,370
I'll reprogram Howard.
What...?
436
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:59,310
Sheldon, you can't
reprogram people.
437
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:02,280
No, you can't reprogram people.
438
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,780
To James Tiberius Kirk.
439
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,460
Hello, all.
440
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,660
- Hello.
- Hey.
441
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:22,560
Howard, you're feeling better
about me today, aren't you?
442
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,030
Not really.
443
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,900
Yes, you are.
444
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,470
I'm using
neurolinguistic programming
445
00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:30,840
to modify your thought patterns.
446
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,570
Oh.
447
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:34,640
Go away, Sheldon.
448
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,930
There's a $9.95 e-book
down the drain.
449
00:19:37,930 --> 00:19:39,060
What's in the bag?
450
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,230
It's for Howard.
451
00:19:40,230 --> 00:19:43,400
Oh. Sheldon, you can't
fix this with gifts.
452
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,570
Nevertheless, I've hurt you,
453
00:19:44,570 --> 00:19:46,790
and whether you
forgive me or not,
454
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:48,820
I want you to
have this.
455
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:52,390
You're giving me
a couch cushion?
456
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,760
No.
457
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,560
The cushion is merely symbolic.
458
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,600
I'm giving you my spot
on the couch.
459
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:02,500
But you love that spot.
460
00:20:02,510 --> 00:20:05,040
No. I love my mother.
461
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,080
My feelings for my spot
are much greater.
462
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:12,150
It is the singular location
in space
463
00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:15,080
around which revolves
my entire universe.
464
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:17,750
And now it's yours.
465
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:21,690
Oh, my God, dude.
Now you have to forgive him.
466
00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,230
All right.
467
00:20:24,230 --> 00:20:26,360
Apology accepted.
468
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,360
High five.
469
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,370
Not too hard.
470
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,300
Thank you.
471
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,960
I haven't cried like this
since Toy Story 3.
472
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:46,910
I got to tell you,
473
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:49,270
Sheldon, I understand why
you chose this spot.
474
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,160
I mean, the temperature is
good, but there's no draft.
475
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,660
I can see the television,
but I can still talk to...
476
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:57,350
I changed my mind.
Get out of my spot.
477
00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:00,320
How long?
478
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,620
94 seconds.
479
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:09,700
-- Sync, corrected by -- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
480
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:12,700
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
480
00:21:13,305 --> 00:22:13,507
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