1
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:08,830
Problem?
2
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,240
This is the worst cobbler
I've ever eaten.
3
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:15,410
It tastes like it's made of
actual ground-up shoemaker.
4
00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:18,980
Amusing. A play on the
two meanings of "cobbler."
5
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,220
Hey, guys. Guess who
I found at LAX?
6
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:25,550
My baby sister Priya.
7
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:27,720
Excuse me, I object.
8
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,920
You propose a guessing game,
9
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:31,890
yet you don't give me
enough time to guess.
10
00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:34,530
For the record,
I was going to say:
11
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:35,790
"Your sister Priya."
12
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,370
Oh, Sheldon. You haven't
changed a bit, have you?
13
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,470
Why would I change?
14
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:42,630
The hope has been that
15
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,700
you'd eventually bend
to public opinion.
16
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,840
So, Priya, what brings
you back to L.A.?
17
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,980
I have a one-day layover
on my way to Toronto.
18
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:51,380
Corporate merger.
19
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:52,480
Can you believe it?
20
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,850
Little Priya's one
of the lead attorneys
21
00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:55,280
for the biggest
car company in India.
22
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,320
Given that when we met her,
she was finishing law school
23
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,690
and planning an internship
at a large Indian car company,
24
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:03,590
it's actually
extremely plausible.
25
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:07,060
And your poll numbers
just keep dropping.
26
00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:09,360
I want to catch up
with all of you,
27
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,100
but first I really
must visit the loo.
28
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,270
I'm going, too; I'll
show you where it is.
29
00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:15,530
All right, this goes
without saying,
30
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,240
but I'm just going
to say it anyway.
31
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,510
Hands off my sister.
32
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:23,340
Why would I touch her? She's
covered with airplane germs.
33
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:26,980
I'm so not talking to you.
I'm talking to him.
34
00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:30,670
Hey. I've got a girlfriend now.
Oh, please.
35
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:31,780
My sister's much hotter
36
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:33,750
than your girlfriend,
and you know it.
37
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,490
Let's just agree
they're both hot.
38
00:01:35,490 --> 00:01:38,860
But dude, that's my sister
you're talking about!
39
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:40,630
Okay, forget who's hotter.
40
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:43,660
The first time Priya came to
L.A., Leonard and I made a pact
41
00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:46,370
out of respect to our
friendship and to you
42
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:48,470
that neither of us
would hit on her.
43
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,100
Did you pinky-swear?
44
00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,570
Yes.
45
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,310
Okay, then.
46
00:01:57,310 --> 00:02:00,450
Cobbler. I'm still laughing.
47
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,820
It's really nice
to see you again, Leonard.
48
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:05,920
Yeah. It's good
to see you, too.
49
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:06,920
Here you go.
50
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,070
Thanks.
51
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:12,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
52
00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:17,130
Okay.
53
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:21,150
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:24,490
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:26,140
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
56
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,660
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:31,340
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:34,010
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:35,910
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:36,780
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,480
♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x06 ♪
The Irish Pub Formulation
Original Air Date on October 28, 2010
62
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,780
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
63
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:45,540
So you got any special plans
with your sister?
64
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:47,980
Oh, not really. Just hang out.
65
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,650
I always tell people,
"If you have only one day
66
00:02:50,650 --> 00:02:54,220
in Los Angeles,
make it a train day."
67
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:56,020
Train day?
68
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:59,390
The fun starts with brunch
at Carney's in Studio City,
69
00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:02,530
a hotdog stand in a
converted railroad dining car.
70
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,660
Next stop, Travel Town,
71
00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:07,970
an outdoor museum featuring
43 railroad engines,
72
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,570
cars, and other rolling stock
from the 1880s to the 1930s.
73
00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:15,520
And, finally, we're off to the
glitz and glamour of Hollywood,
74
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:19,440
for dinner at--that's right--
the Hollywood Carney's,
75
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:24,310
a hotdog stand in a different
converted railroad dining car.
76
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,420
I don't think
we're going to do that.
77
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:30,850
Well, then apparently
you hate fun.
78
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:37,290
Priya's not back yet?
79
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,750
Well, I guess
that's not unusual.
80
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:41,170
Women, men, the whole
sitting-standing deal.
81
00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:42,630
So what are we talking about?
82
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:44,300
Uh, my plans
with Priya.
83
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,270
He rejected Train Day.
84
00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:48,840
Did you make it clear that
it's two different train cars
85
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,710
turned into hotdog stands?
86
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:52,440
Abundantly.
87
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,340
I guess he just hates fun.
88
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:57,780
That's what I said!
89
00:04:00,270 --> 00:04:02,590
Okay, so... what's
new with you guys?
90
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,020
I have a girlfriend now.
91
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:05,390
Hey, good for you!
92
00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,060
Yeah, I just want
to put it out there
93
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,130
in case I inadvertently
94
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:10,890
squirt any pheromones
in your direction.
95
00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:12,830
Happy?
96
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,470
So, Priya, what are your
plans while you're here?
97
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,470
I don't know. I just
have the one day.
98
00:04:19,470 --> 00:04:22,670
Do you like trains?
99
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,140
Not particularly.
100
00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:31,300
You might as well just wait
at the airport for your flight.
101
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:34,500
"You are in a forest.
102
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,170
"There is quicksand to the west,
103
00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:40,820
a path leads to the east."
104
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:43,530
Go east.
105
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:47,460
"An iron gate blocks your way."
106
00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,200
Open gate.
107
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,700
"It's locked."
108
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:53,870
Hmm.
109
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,040
Well, so much for that.
110
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,440
It's getting pretty late.
How come you're still up?
111
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:04,480
I found an emulator online that
lets you play classic text-based
112
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,950
computer games from the 1980s.
113
00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:08,390
That's pretty cool.
114
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:11,790
Oh, yes. It runs on the world's
most powerful graphics chip:
115
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:14,060
imagination.
116
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,860
You've really got
to get out more.
117
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,900
Go north.
118
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:23,070
"You can't go that way."
119
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:24,800
Go west.
120
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,200
"A troll blocks your passage."
121
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:29,510
Okay. Fasten your seatbelts.
122
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,140
Kill troll.
123
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,780
"With what?"
124
00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:36,880
With sword.
125
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,450
"You don't have the sword."
126
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:42,520
Good golly, it's as if
it's actually happening to me.
127
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:46,120
Raj finally went to bed.
128
00:05:49,090 --> 00:05:51,530
Sheldon's still up.
129
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:53,300
You said he goes
to bed at 9:00.
130
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,000
Yeah, he does, but he got caught
up in a computer game and...
131
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:04,780
Hit troll with axe!
132
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:07,180
My, this is one tough troll.
133
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:08,850
Can't you get rid of him?
134
00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:11,650
If the past is any
indication, no.
135
00:06:11,650 --> 00:06:13,820
Leonard, I'm trapped
in quicksand!
136
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:16,650
The axe is dragging me down!
137
00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:17,750
Drop axe!
138
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,290
Drop axe, brilliant!
139
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:24,630
Give me a minute.
140
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,080
Sheldon.
141
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,130
Hold on.
142
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:29,130
Trying to figure out
143
00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:30,130
how to get the bucket,
144
00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:32,600
so I can carry the mud
past the dragon.
145
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,940
Sheldon, you need to
work in the morning.
146
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:35,940
I know!
147
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:36,940
Well, then bed, mister!
148
00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:39,280
Five more minutes!
149
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,680
Really?
150
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,910
You're going to risk getting
sleepy in the middle of your
151
00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:44,180
thermodynamic
fluctuations seminar?
152
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:46,570
You know what happens
when you yawn in public.
153
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:53,990
Everyone will see
my oddly shaped uvula.
154
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,030
You don't want that, do you?
155
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,250
No.
156
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:05,100
But it's a shame our society
mocks the differently uvulated.
157
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:07,640
Who was at the door?
158
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,640
Uh, building manager.
159
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,510
They have to fix a pipe,
160
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:14,180
so the water'll be off
tomorrow from noon to 2:00.
161
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,710
That's unacceptable.
162
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:17,130
We're supposed to be
given written notice.
163
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:18,930
Well, no, it doesn't matter--
we'll be at work.
164
00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:21,820
What if I spill tomato
soup on my shirt,
165
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,190
and have to come home to change,
166
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,560
only to find there's no water
for an enzyme soak?
167
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,660
Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!
168
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:30,560
I'll have the chicken noodle.
Good night!
169
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,120
We're going
to have to be very quiet.
170
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,810
I know how to
get the bucket!
171
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:45,780
I can turn the axe around
172
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,300
and use the handle to reach it.
173
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,280
Let's see.
174
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,720
Go north.
175
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,300
"You are in a forest."
176
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,020
Go north.
177
00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:57,450
"You are in a forest."
178
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,890
Go north.
179
00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:01,560
"You are in a forest."
Oh dear, I believe I'm lost.
180
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,630
Well, I'll just have to get
a fresh start tomorrow.
181
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:05,510
No, no, no! You just
took a wrong turn.
182
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,000
You just need to map it out.
183
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000
Come on, I'll help you.
184
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,470
So you stopped at the stream,
185
00:08:09,470 --> 00:08:11,180
and you turned
north three times?
186
00:08:11,190 --> 00:08:12,340
Yes.
187
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:13,940
You're right.
You're lost. Good luck.
188
00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:21,530
Oh!
189
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:22,580
Leonard. Wake up.
190
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:23,580
Huh? Wh-- Sorry.
191
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:25,120
For what?
192
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,550
I don't know. When I'm in bed
with a girl, it's just--
193
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,450
it's my go-to response.
194
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:31,460
It's 6:00. I have
to get back to Raj's
195
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,290
before he wakes up
and realizes I'm gone.
196
00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:35,640
Oh. Right. Sure.
197
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,180
I wish you could stay
in L.A. a while longer.
198
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,200
Mmm, me, too.
199
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,710
You know, I was thinking:
200
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,630
There are some great
research facilities in India.
201
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:46,440
Where are you going
with this, Leonard?
202
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,190
Well, I'm just saying, you know,
I don't have any real ties here,
203
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:53,410
so if I were to move to New
Delhi, we could, you know--
204
00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:56,280
go out.
205
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,920
Leonard, didn't we have this
conversation five years ago?
206
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:00,880
Well, yes, but...
207
00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:02,120
things have changed.
208
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,720
You know, you're older,
I'm older--
209
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,910
Look, no more
superhero bed sheets.
210
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:07,370
Sweetheart,
211
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,380
just because we have fun when
I come to town doesn't mean
212
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:13,000
I want to have a
serious relationship.
213
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:13,960
It doesn't?
214
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,370
Mm-mm.
215
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:18,640
And besides, I could never bring
a white boy home to my parents.
216
00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:20,700
They'd have a cow.
217
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:23,340
Which is a much
bigger deal in India.
218
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,780
I'm not that white.
219
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,840
My great-great-grandmother
was half Cherokee.
220
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:30,910
I know that's not the right kind
of Indian, but it is something.
221
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,620
You're funny.
222
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:36,600
Leonard?
223
00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:38,490
What?
224
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,090
I heard a woman laughing.
225
00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:44,490
Oh, uh, yeah. I was trying to
see if I could laugh as a woman.
226
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,130
Oh! Well, good job.
Quite convincing.
227
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,600
I smell perfume.
228
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,670
Air freshener.
229
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:56,240
And is that lipstick
on your cheek and neck?
230
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,570
Rash. That's a bad rash.
231
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,180
My sympathies.
232
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:02,680
I'm no stranger to the crimson
scourge that is dermatitis.
233
00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:06,680
Can I interest you
in a topical steroid
234
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,650
from my lotion and
unguent collection?
235
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,660
Uh, yeah, yeah,
that sounds great.
236
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,820
Very well. I'm sure
I can find something
237
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,560
that will help
you ditch that itch.
238
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,700
Okay, he's in the
bathroom. Let's go.
239
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,370
Do you prefer
ointment or cream?
240
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,770
Cream.
241
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:30,110
With or without a numbing agent?
242
00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:31,110
Without.
243
00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:32,510
Really, Leonard?
244
00:10:32,510 --> 00:10:35,180
There are no heroes when
it comes to dermatitis.
245
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,280
Fine. With.
246
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,120
Prescription or
non-prescription strength?
247
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,550
Use your best judgment.
248
00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:45,320
Well, I think I have a
nice 2009 AnaMantle HC.
249
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,730
It's usually indicated for
acutely inflamed hemorrhoids,
250
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:53,100
but it also goes nicely
with non-mucosal body parts.
251
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,130
Sounds great.
252
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:56,770
Excellent choice.
253
00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:01,140
Okay, hurry, hurry, hurry.
254
00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:04,160
Come on, come on, come on.
255
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,310
Priya?
256
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,880
Good morning, Sheldon.
257
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:14,380
For shame, Leonard, for shame.
258
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:16,550
And to think,
259
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:18,710
I was ready to waste
260
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:22,730
the last of my good
hemorrhoid cream on you.
261
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,620
Making pretty
good time, huh?
262
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:35,130
Is that really what you want
to talk about, Leonard?
263
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:36,580
No.
264
00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,000
What do you want to talk about?
265
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,150
Please don't tell anyone
266
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,620
I spent the night
with Raj's sister.
267
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,620
There it is.
268
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:45,490
What if someone asks?
269
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:48,090
No one's going to ask if I spent
the night with Raj's sister.
270
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:52,200
Perhaps, but they might ask me
something else.
271
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,530
Like what?
Like
272
00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:58,050
"Has Leonard betrayed any
of his friends recently?"
273
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,200
Priya and I are both adults.
274
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:01,910
I didn't betray Raj.
275
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:05,480
In fact, you did,
but I was referring to Howard.
276
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,540
What are you talking about?
277
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:08,530
April 12, 2005.
278
00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:10,620
Bob's Big Boy,
Toluca Lake.
279
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:14,220
Raj had just introduced us
to Priya for the first time.
280
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,360
She was enjoying the sweet taste
of Hindu rebellion
281
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,120
in the form of a Bob's
Super Big Boy hamburger.
282
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,390
In order
to preserve
283
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:24,600
your friendship, you and Howard
made a pinky swear
284
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,430
that neither of you
would attempt to woo her.
285
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:30,130
I had a patty melt.
286
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,000
Okay, fine, I betrayed Howard.
287
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,940
And Raj.
All right, and Raj.
288
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:35,590
And me.
289
00:12:35,590 --> 00:12:37,340
You?
290
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,930
Violation of the
Roommate Agreement's
291
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:41,350
overnight guest
notification clause.
292
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:44,220
Okay, fine,
I-I'm a horrible human being.
293
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:46,320
I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
294
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,020
You're far too short
to be Darth Vader.
295
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:52,860
At best you might be
a turncoat Ewok.
296
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:56,260
My point is: Priya's gone
and it would be much better
297
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:58,950
if no one else found out
about us.
298
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,830
You mean you want me
to keep a secret?
299
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:02,870
Yes.
300
00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,540
You know I can't
keep a secret.
301
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:05,600
You can if you try.
302
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,840
Think about
it this way:
303
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,740
um, if I were Batman
and you were Alfred,
304
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,680
you'd keep that
secret, right?
305
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,460
Why do you get
to be Batman?
306
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,600
Because Batman has the secret.
307
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,430
Alfred has secrets, too.
308
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,020
Like what?
Alfred knows
309
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,320
that Barbara Gordon
is Batgirl.
310
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,800
Which I've now just
told to Batman.
311
00:13:23,810 --> 00:13:26,140
See, I cannot
keep a secret.
312
00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:31,360
Ta-dah!
313
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,400
What?
314
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,830
Ta-dah.
315
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:35,770
It's short for...
316
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:37,740
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
317
00:13:37,740 --> 00:13:40,370
Kind of busy here, Sheldon.
318
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:41,710
I know,
that's why I shortened it.
319
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,240
What do you want?
320
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,950
I came to go over your alibi
for last night.
321
00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:50,380
What alibi?
322
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,320
You've asked me
323
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,650
to lie on your behalf,
and as you know,
324
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:56,650
I am deeply uncomfortable
with impromptu dishonesty,
325
00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:57,790
so I've provided you
326
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,990
with an ironclad alibi.
327
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:02,660
You couldn't have spent
last night with Priya
328
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,730
because you were
with another woman.
329
00:14:04,730 --> 00:14:06,960
Oh, I'm so sure
I'm gonna regret this,
330
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:10,070
but who was I with?
331
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:14,170
The fun-loving and morally loose
Miss Maggie McGarry.
332
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,610
Oh, God.
333
00:14:15,610 --> 00:14:18,710
You met her at Pasadena's most
popular Irish watering hole,
334
00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:22,150
Lucky Baldwin's, where Maggie
spends her nights tending bar
335
00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:25,350
with a head full of curls
and a heart full of dreams.
336
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:29,450
"Leonard, call me if you
are interested in coitus.
337
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:33,090
Sincerely,
Maggie McGarry."
338
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,380
And if anyone were
339
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:39,300
to actually call that number,
they will hear this.
340
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,400
FEMALE TEXT-TO-SPEECH VOICE:
Top of the morning to you.
341
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,570
You've reached Maggie McGarry.
342
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:48,940
Leave a message
after the wee little beep.
343
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,340
It's pretty convincing, huh?
344
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,610
That wasn't even
a real person.
345
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:55,860
And here is
the clincher:
346
00:14:55,860 --> 00:15:00,520
a lock of Maggie's
flaming auburn hair.
347
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,790
Where'd you get that?
348
00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:04,590
From an orangutan
in the primate lab.
349
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:05,690
An orangutan?
350
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:06,570
Well, no one's going
351
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:08,790
to run a DNA test
on it, Leonard.
352
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,860
Honestly, you overthink
everything.
353
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:14,170
Sheldon, I don't need an alibi.
354
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:15,930
Nobody's going to ask
about last night
355
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:18,370
as long as you just
zip your lip.
356
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,970
Thank you.
357
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,310
Now, don't worry,
everything is going to be fine.
358
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,220
Hey.
359
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:41,490
Hey, Leonard, will you
please tell Howard
360
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,630
my sister has never
been attracted to him?
361
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,460
Come on, Raj,
362
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:46,960
how am I supposed to know
363
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:50,200
who she is attracted to
or was attracted to
364
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,840
or who she might be
attracted to in the future?
365
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,480
And I have nothing
to contribute
366
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,340
to this conversation.
367
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:03,350
Because I, too,
know absolutely nothing
368
00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:06,420
about Priya's preferences
in male companionship.
369
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,920
And with that,
I will re-zip my lip.
370
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,120
Hey, so what did
you guys think
371
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:15,140
of the new episode
of Caprica last night?
372
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,130
I didn't see it.
373
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:17,060
Didn't see it?
374
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,660
What were you doing?
375
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,600
Uh, I was out.
376
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,400
What, on Caprica night?
377
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,710
Yeah, I, uh, went
for a drink.
378
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:28,940
Really, you?
379
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:31,710
Where, w-where'd
you go?
380
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,940
To, uh...
381
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:41,890
Lucky Baldwin's.
382
00:16:41,890 --> 00:16:45,790
Oh, I've heard
of that place.
383
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:49,530
Isn't that Pasadena's
favorite Irish watering hole?
384
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,300
Yes.
385
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,600
Did you meet
386
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,860
anyone interesting there,
387
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:58,100
perhaps a promiscuous,
redheaded barmaid?
388
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,100
As a matter of fact...
I-I-I-I-I can't, I can't,
389
00:17:00,110 --> 00:17:01,540
I can't do it.
390
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,110
Sure you can, you're doing
fine, it's very believable.
391
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:07,580
I'm sorry, Raj,
but the truth is,
392
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:09,450
I was with Priya
last night.
393
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,650
Don't listen to him.
394
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,420
He's still light-headed
from all the Irish whiskey
395
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,290
and pickled eggs
in his system.
396
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,220
What were you doing
with Priya?
397
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:17,250
I believe they engaged
in coitus,
398
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,060
but more
importantly,
399
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:20,830
if Leonard had not abandoned
his story,
400
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:23,260
would you have found it
plausible?
401
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:24,800
You slept with my sister?!
402
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:25,730
Yeah.
403
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:27,970
How could you?
We had a pact.
404
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,770
Excuse me, I think
"How could you? She's my sister"
405
00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:32,970
takes precedence over
a five-year-old pinky swear.
406
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,390
May I point out,
407
00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:36,640
in a parallel universe,
your friends are saying
408
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,280
"Maggie McGarry--
she sounds lovely."
409
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:42,750
Look, I-I admit it, I may
have crossed a line here,
410
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:46,320
but come on, Raj, your
sister is a grown woman,
411
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,220
and to her, I'm a forbidden
piece of white chocolate.
412
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,320
I don't believe it.
413
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,710
This is a terrible
betrayal of my trust.
414
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:55,380
No, w-w-would it
help if I told you
415
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:59,330
that I offered her my heart,
and she kind of stomped on it?
416
00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:02,100
How hard did she stomp?
417
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,100
Very hard.
418
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,420
Okay, I'm good.
419
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:10,470
Well, Raj,
420
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,880
I just want to say that I'd
never betray your trust.
421
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,430
Unlike Leonard,
I respect you.
422
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,450
Really?
423
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:20,100
Mm-hmm.
424
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,250
Was it out of respect
that you didn't tell Raj
425
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,890
about the time you dropped
his iPhone in a urinal?
426
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:29,030
Dude, I put that thing
on my face!
427
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,900
I think a more amusing
violation of Raj's trust
428
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,530
is when Howard convinced him
that foreigners give presents
429
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,450
to Americans
on Thanksgiving.
430
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,870
Hey, I didn't see
you giving back
431
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,710
your Snoopy
snow cone maker.
432
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:43,840
That was all a lie?
433
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,980
This year's gifts
are already wrapped.
434
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:48,710
And as long as we're talking
about betraying our friends,
435
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,180
how about the month Sheldon
spent grinding up insects
436
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,920
and mixing them
into Leonard's food?
437
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,290
Well, excuse me.
438
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:55,890
That was not a betrayal.
439
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:58,020
That was an experiment
to determine
440
00:18:58,020 --> 00:19:02,230
at what concentration
food starts tasting "mothy."
441
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:05,400
You put moths in my food?!
442
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:09,270
For science.
443
00:19:09,270 --> 00:19:11,740
I can't believe you kissed
my sister with moth mouth.
444
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:15,910
Well, I can't believe you
used Sheldon's toothbrush.
445
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:18,210
You used my toothbrush?
446
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:21,110
Not the brush part,
just the little rubber thing
447
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:24,950
to pick food from my teeth
and massage my gums.
448
00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:33,620
Okay, I-I think
it's safe to say
449
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:35,130
that we've all done
some things
450
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,890
we're not
particularly proud of.
451
00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,060
But come on,
we're friends.
452
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:43,030
Friends overlook
each other's minor lapses.
453
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,040
For the record, Howard, I'm
sorry that I broke our pact.
454
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,360
Thank you.
455
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,190
And I'm sorry
about your phone
456
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,010
and Thanksgiving.
457
00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,380
And while we're at it,
458
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:57,820
you don't have to wash our
clothes on the Fourth of July.
459
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,370
As long as we're apologizing,
460
00:20:01,370 --> 00:20:04,620
Sheldon, I'm, I'm sorry
I used your toothbrush.
461
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,860
And I'm sorry...
462
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:08,360
but that behavior
is beyond the pale
463
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,030
and cannot be tolerated.
464
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:12,160
We are no longer friends.
465
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,200
I got you a talking Thomas the
Tank Engine for Thanksgiving.
466
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,170
With real puffing smoke?
467
00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:20,400
Yes.
468
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:22,720
All right.
469
00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:26,740
But I'm watching you.
470
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,470
Hey, you've got Snoopy out.
471
00:20:41,470 --> 00:20:42,680
Can I have a snow cone?
472
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,550
Well, sure.
473
00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:48,470
This is pretty good.
474
00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:49,760
What flavor is this?
475
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,660
Guess.
476
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,260
Papaya?
No.
477
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:56,900
Guava?
You're so close.
478
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:57,900
I give up.
479
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,300
Mango caterpillar.
480
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:03,560
What are
you doing?!
481
00:21:06,290 --> 00:21:07,670
You said you
liked it.
482
00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:10,670
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
483
00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:14,220
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --