1
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,260
And now the
kung pao chicken.
2
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,650
Ah, yeah.
Wow.
3
00:00:10,650 --> 00:00:12,070
Smooth.
4
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,950
And finally,
5
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,790
my moo shu pork.
6
00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:18,870
Whoo-hoo!
7
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,630
Oh, there you have
it, gentlemen.
8
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:24,800
Our entire dinner
unpacked by robot.
9
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,180
And it only took 28 minutes.
10
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:29,280
Impressive,
11
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,650
but we must be cautious.
Why?
12
00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:34,640
Today, it's a Chinese food
retrieval robot.
13
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,180
Tomorrow,
it travels back in time
14
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:39,680
and tries to kill Sarah Connor.
15
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,980
I don't think that's
going to happen, Sheldon.
16
00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,370
No one ever does.
17
00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:44,980
That's why it happens.
18
00:00:45,990 --> 00:00:47,700
Hey. Is the food here?
19
00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:49,000
Ooh. What's that?
20
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:50,270
That, dear lady,
21
00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:52,920
is the Wolowitz
Programmable Hand,
22
00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,590
designed
for extravehicular repairs
23
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:57,050
on the International
Space Station.
24
00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,630
Ah, cool.
25
00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:00,330
Ask me to pass the soy sauce.
26
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:03,100
Oh, does that come up much
on the space station?
27
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:06,540
Mostly with Asian
and Jewish astronauts.
28
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,660
All right. Pass the soy sauce.
Coming up.
29
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:21,940
So how's work?
30
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:23,390
Oh, it's not bad.
31
00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:24,940
Kind of hungry.
32
00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:26,780
Yeah, we all are.
33
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,580
Just wait.
34
00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:30,330
You realize, Penny,
that the technology
35
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,480
that went into this arm
will one day make
36
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,900
unskilled food servers
such as yourself obsolete.
37
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,340
Really?
38
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,970
They're going to make a robot
that spits on your hamburger?
39
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,120
I thought you
broke up with her.
40
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,880
Why is she here?
41
00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:47,110
Okay, here we go.
42
00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:49,600
Passing the soy sauce.
43
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:53,270
Put out your hand.
44
00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:57,310
Oh!
45
00:01:58,690 --> 00:01:59,820
That's amazing.
46
00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:01,260
I wouldn't say amazing.
47
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:03,260
At best,
it's a modest leap forward
48
00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:04,810
from the basic technology
49
00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:07,650
that gave us
Country Bear Jamboree.
50
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:09,950
Hey, Sheldon?
51
00:02:09,950 --> 00:02:11,870
Yes?
52
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:19,960
Peace?
53
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,550
No, not peace.
54
00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:22,910
Hang on.
55
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:26,550
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
56
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,870
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
57
00:02:29,870 --> 00:02:31,420
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
58
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:34,040
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
59
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,760
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
60
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,400
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
61
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,300
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
62
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,250
♪ Bang! ♪
63
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,760
The Big Bang Theory 4x01
The Robotic Manipulation
Original Air Date on September 23, 2010
64
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:49,270
-- Sync, corrected by -- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --
65
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:52,810
Does NASA know you're using
that thing as a napkin holder?
66
00:02:52,810 --> 00:02:56,650
You kidding? They still think
it's in a secure locker at JPL.
67
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,720
You stole it?
68
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,070
Borrowed.
69
00:03:00,070 --> 00:03:02,670
The trick is to carry it out
to your car like you own it.
70
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,830
Excuse me.
71
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:09,410
Oh.
72
00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,920
Amy's at the dry cleaners,
73
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,450
and she's made a very
amusing pun.
74
00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:16,320
"I don't care
for perchloroethylene,
75
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,910
and I don't like glycol ether."
76
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,630
Get it?
77
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,950
She doesn't like glycol ether.
78
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,690
Sounds like "either."
79
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:39,540
"L-O-L."
80
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,030
Who's Amy?
His girlfriend.
81
00:03:42,030 --> 00:03:44,110
Sheldon has a girlfriend?
She's not my girlfriend.
82
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,150
How long
has this been going on?
Four months.
83
00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:48,290
She's not my girlfriend.
Are you telling me, for
the past four months
84
00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:49,740
I have been asking you,
"What's new?"
85
00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:51,320
and you never thought
to go with,
86
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,540
"Sheldon has a girlfriend"?
87
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:54,440
She's not my girlfriend.
88
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,530
Ah... d-d-d-d...
89
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:57,240
How did they meet?
90
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:59,460
Raj and I entered Sheldon's
information on a dating site,
91
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:01,870
and it spit out
Amy Farrah Fowler.
92
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:04,170
Oh, my God!
Sheldon and Amy.
93
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:06,000
Or, as we
call them, "Shamy."
94
00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:08,970
Shamy.
95
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:11,230
I am so digging the Shamy.
96
00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:13,640
All right,
everyone pay attention.
97
00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:15,810
Yes, I have a friend
named Amy Farrah Fowler.
98
00:04:15,810 --> 00:04:17,380
Yes, she is female.
99
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:19,820
Yes, we communicate
on a daily basis,
100
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:22,240
but no, she is not
my girlfriend.
101
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,720
Okay, well, what do
you communicate about?
102
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:28,780
Well, my work in physics,
her work in neurobiology,
103
00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,490
and most recently,
the possibility
104
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,030
of our having a child together.
105
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,010
Thank you.
106
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,680
Wait a minute-- a child?
107
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,890
You never see this girl.
108
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:47,860
You just e-mail
and text and Twitter.
109
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,910
Now you're considering
having a baby?
110
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,630
Amy pointed out
that between the two of us,
111
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,570
our genetic material
has the potential
112
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:56,700
of producing the first in a line
113
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:59,420
of intellectually superior,
benign overlords
114
00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:02,690
to guide humanity
to a brighter tomorrow.
115
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:05,880
I'm guessing
that future historians
116
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,900
will condemn us
for not taking
117
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:10,120
this opportunity
to kill Sheldon.
118
00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,200
Okay, I have
a question.
119
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,490
Yes, Penny.
120
00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:16,410
You don't even like people
touching you.
121
00:05:16,410 --> 00:05:18,130
How are you going to have sex?
122
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,880
Why on Earth would we have sex?
123
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,670
Oh, honey, did your mom
not have the talk with you?
124
00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:30,170
You know, when your
private parts started growing?
125
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:33,260
I'm quite aware of the way
humans usually reproduce,
126
00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:35,430
which is messy,
unsanitary,
127
00:05:35,430 --> 00:05:37,760
and based on living next
to you for three years,
128
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,680
involves loud and unnecessary
appeals to a deity.
129
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:42,820
Oh, God.
130
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,490
Yes, exactly.
131
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:49,740
Consequently,
if Amy and I choose
132
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,360
to bring new life
into this world,
133
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,240
it will be accomplished
clinically,
134
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,480
with fertility experts in a lab
with petri dishes.
135
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,620
Which reminds me--
136
00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:00,620
you have broad hips
and a certain corn-fed vigor.
137
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,440
Is your womb available
for rental?
138
00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:08,010
Still digging the Shamy?
139
00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:09,430
Look, Sheldon,
140
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:12,000
before you race off to
the fertility clinic,
141
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,460
you might want
to think about--
142
00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:14,600
uh, gee, I don't know--
143
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,900
maybe actually spending
some time with her.
144
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:18,850
You mean dating?
Yeah.
145
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:20,600
I can't date Amy.
Why not?
146
00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:22,360
She's not my girlfriend.
147
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,780
Okay, look, don't think of it
as dating a girlfriend.
148
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,110
Think of it as, uh...
149
00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:28,410
getting to know
the future mother of your child.
150
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,230
Oh.
151
00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:32,600
I hadn't considered that.
152
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,420
I suppose she will have
to have access to our progeny.
153
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,290
And you don't think
I can achieve
154
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,970
the required intimacy
via text messaging?
155
00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:41,160
Probably not.
156
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,360
Huh.
157
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,680
It would appear as if
158
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,530
the phone companies
have been lying to me.
159
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:51,140
Penny.
160
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,550
Penny. Penny.
161
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:57,390
You do realize I stand
on the other side of the door
162
00:06:57,390 --> 00:07:00,180
waiting for you to finish
knocking three times.
163
00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:03,510
I know. I can see the shadow
of your feet under the door.
164
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,470
Yeah, my point is
it's a waste of time.
165
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:07,720
If you're looking for an example
166
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,820
of a waste of time,
I would refer you
167
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,740
to the conversation
we're having right now.
168
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:13,320
What do you want?
169
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,530
I've decided to take your advice
and have arranged
170
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:17,830
to go on a date
with Amy Farrah Fowler.
171
00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:18,730
Oh, that's great.
172
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,030
Have fun.
Wait.
173
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,580
You have to drive me.
174
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,030
What?
You know I don't drive.
175
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,540
Well, go ask Leonard.
I did.
176
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,140
He said-- and I quote--
"Ask Penny.
177
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:30,720
It was her cockamamy idea."
178
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,710
Leonard said "cockamamy"?
179
00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:33,910
Actually, I'm paraphrasing.
180
00:07:33,910 --> 00:07:36,410
Having been raised
in a Christian household,
181
00:07:36,410 --> 00:07:39,430
I'm uncomfortable
with the language he used.
182
00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:40,730
And to be honest,
183
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:43,220
I'm not entirely comfortable
with "cockamamy."
184
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,270
Okay, fine. When's the date?
185
00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:46,940
Now.
Now?
186
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:49,030
Hurry. We're going to be late.
187
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,810
Sheldon,
did it ever occur to you
188
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,650
that I might have other plans?
189
00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:54,800
I'm sorry.
190
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,300
Do you have other plans?
191
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,360
Well, no, not per se, but...
192
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,290
So this conversation
is as pointless
193
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:08,300
as your door-knocking soliloquy?
194
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:12,630
Let me get my...
cockamamy keys.
195
00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,920
Oh, God, that feels so good.
196
00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,790
Yeah, that's the spot.
197
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,730
Oh, baby.
198
00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:29,100
MRS. WOLOWITZ
Howard, dinner's ready!
199
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,680
I'll eat later.
200
00:08:30,690 --> 00:08:32,990
I'm busy!
201
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,190
Oh, yeah.
202
00:08:34,190 --> 00:08:36,410
Just like a real hand.
203
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:46,030
Hmm.
204
00:08:48,950 --> 00:08:51,000
Thank you
for driving me.
205
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,660
You're welcome.
206
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:56,190
I wish you weren't
wearing flip-flops.
207
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:58,760
It's dangerous
to drive in flip-flops.
208
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,800
Sheldon.
Sorry.
209
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,770
I just don't want to be
yet another flip-flop fatality.
210
00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:07,890
Can I ask you
a question?
211
00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:10,470
Given your
community college education,
212
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,980
I encourage you to ask me
as many as possible.
213
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:16,860
Yeah.
Well, my question is--
214
00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:19,520
and I'm pretty sure
I know the answer--
215
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,520
is this your first date?
216
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,370
That depends.
217
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:25,570
Does square-dancing
with my sister
218
00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:28,360
at a Teens for Jesus
Fourth of July Hoedown
219
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,660
count as a date?
220
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,160
No.
221
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,550
Then, this is my first date.
222
00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:36,330
Okay. Well, then,
there's a couple of things
223
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:37,600
you should probably know.
224
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,040
I have a master's degree
and two doctorates.
225
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,760
The things I should know,
I do know.
226
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,600
My point is, I know more
about dating than you,
227
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,560
and if you were as smart
as you think you are,
228
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:51,770
you would listen to me.
229
00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,220
If you know so much,
how come I have a date tonight
230
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,490
and you have nothing better
to do than drive me to it?
231
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:02,740
Fair point.
232
00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:07,450
You know,
there's something
233
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:09,180
I've always wondered
about Aquaman.
234
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:12,490
Yeah?
Where does he poop?
235
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,470
What?
236
00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,930
What would a toilet
look like in Atlantis?
237
00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,630
How would you flush it?
238
00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:23,550
And when you did flush it,
where would the poop go?
239
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,820
Hold that thought.
240
00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:30,900
Hey, Howard.
What's going on?
241
00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:33,360
What...
242
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,460
Hold on.
Howard, Howard, slow down.
243
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,650
The robot hand
is stuck on your what?
244
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:44,100
You're not going
to believe this.
245
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,510
So, um, Amy,
Sheldon tells me
246
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:05,470
you're a neuro...
something-or-other.
247
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:07,950
Neurobiologist.
248
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,190
Your "check engine" light is on.
249
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,640
Yeah, it's okay.
250
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,660
But the light indicates...
251
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,160
Don't bother.
252
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,730
I've wasted many an hour
253
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:19,950
tilting at
that particular windmill.
254
00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:24,340
Uh, what is that
scent you're wearing?
255
00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:25,420
It smells great.
256
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:27,840
Dandruff shampoo.
257
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,790
I have dry scalp.
258
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:32,880
Ah.
259
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,050
Well, your hair
looks very nice.
260
00:11:35,050 --> 00:11:37,220
Are you a homosexual?
261
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,670
No, no, I'm just giving
you a compliment.
262
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,610
Hmm.
263
00:11:43,610 --> 00:11:46,890
Would have been more flattered
if you were a homosexual.
264
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:50,610
Guys, how 'bout
some music?
265
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,180
Oh, no, I wouldn't
care for that.
266
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,200
Amy?
267
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,350
No, thank you.
268
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:56,170
Okay.
269
00:11:56,170 --> 00:11:58,400
Uncomfortable
silence it is.
270
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,130
Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy
271
00:12:05,130 --> 00:12:07,550
what it was like for you
growing up in Texas?
272
00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:09,460
No.
273
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:13,030
Well, why don't
you tell her?
274
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,420
All right.
275
00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:16,750
It was hell.
276
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,810
Any follow up, Amy?
277
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:23,810
No.
278
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,320
I myself grew
up in Nebraska.
279
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,220
Small town
outside of Omaha.
280
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:36,320
Nice place, mostly family farms,
a few meth labs.
281
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:40,900
I'm sorry, how is this better
than uncomfortable silence?
282
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:41,900
I don't know.
283
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,560
I was just trying something.
284
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,170
Muggles.
285
00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:57,300
You slipped and fell
into a robot hand?
286
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:00,950
Yes.
287
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:03,740
Penis first?
288
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:08,920
Yes. Now, help me!
289
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,780
I'd suggest a lubricant,
but I have a feeling
290
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,530
you fell on some
of that as well.
291
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,310
Not funny, Leonard.
292
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:18,430
Really? A robot hand's got
a death grip on your junk, dude.
293
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:19,450
That's funny, ask anyone.
294
00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:23,960
Plea-- before my mother
walks in, get this off me!
295
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:24,910
Okay, let's see.
296
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:25,870
No, no!
Don't touch.
297
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:26,940
The program
is paused.
298
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,410
Well, then let's
un-pause it.
299
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,880
No, no! I loaded
the wrong program.
300
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,630
The hand thinks it's holding
a screwdriver in outer space.
301
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:35,120
If you continue the program,
it's gonna start twisting.
302
00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:37,790
A-All right.
303
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,340
Um, how about this.
304
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,420
When-when Winnie the Pooh
got his head stuck
305
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:45,430
in the honey tree,
his friends all grabbed onto him
306
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,450
and pulled and pulled.
307
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,260
You do what you want,
308
00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,230
I'm not touching another
man's honey tree.
309
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,520
All right, uh,
forget pulling.
310
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,910
How about we get
an electric saw and cut it off?
311
00:13:57,910 --> 00:13:59,770
What?! No saws!
312
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:02,980
One circumcision was enough.
313
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,000
How about an
acetylene torch?
314
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,330
Okay, I can't believe
this needs to be said out loud.
315
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,790
No pulling, no saws, no torches.
316
00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:12,750
Well, then what do
you want us to do?
317
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,520
MRS. WOLOWITZ
Howard, I made cookies for you
318
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,210
and your little friends!
319
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:20,510
That's great, Mom, thanks!
320
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:23,380
I'll bring them up
with some Hawaiian Punch!
321
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,830
Don't come up here!
322
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,940
Why not?! Are you
ashamed of your mother?!
323
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:30,440
Yes, but that's not the point!
324
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,470
Get me out of here.
325
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,340
You have any ideas, Raj?
326
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:37,710
Right now, all I can think about
is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.
327
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:48,890
Hey, here's another possible
topic of conversation.
328
00:14:48,890 --> 00:14:50,710
This is a big night for Sheldon.
329
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,780
Right, Sheldon?
330
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:55,580
Big night?
331
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,120
The winter solstice
is a big night.
332
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,170
It's over 14 hours
333
00:15:00,170 --> 00:15:01,620
in Southern California.
334
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:04,710
That's an amusing factoid.
335
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,090
Thank you.
336
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,340
No, no.
337
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:13,950
My point is, uh, tonight is
Sheldon's first official date.
338
00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,650
Discuss.
339
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,880
Is this true?
340
00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:20,220
Apparently, a semi-incestuous
Teens for Jesus
341
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,560
Fourth of July Hoedown
didn't count.
342
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:25,940
So, um, Amy, what about you?
343
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:26,910
Do you date much?
344
00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:28,230
Once a year.
345
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:30,360
It's a deal I made
with my mother in exchange for
346
00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:32,550
her silence on the matter,
as well as the occasional use
347
00:15:32,550 --> 00:15:33,730
of her George Foreman Grill
348
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:37,260
that seals in the flavor
without the fat.
349
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,710
How about you, Penny?
350
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:40,930
Do you go on many dates?
351
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,840
Uh, yeah, I wouldn't say many.
352
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:43,850
A few.
353
00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:50,270
What's...
?
354
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:51,470
Your characterization of
355
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:54,420
approximately 171 different men
as "a few."
356
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:55,660
What...
357
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,310
Where did you
get 171 men?
358
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,800
Simple extrapolation.
359
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,810
In the three years
that I've known you,
360
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:04,200
you were single for two.
361
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,120
During that time,
I saw 17 different suitors.
362
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,490
If we work backwards,
correcting for observation bias
363
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:12,570
and postulate an initial
dating age of 15...
364
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,620
Whoa, wait,
wait, wait.
365
00:16:13,630 --> 00:16:16,540
I did not start dating at 15.
366
00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:17,710
I'm sorry. Sixteen?
367
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,050
Fourteen.
368
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:21,650
My mistake.
369
00:16:21,650 --> 00:16:24,050
Now, assuming the left side
of a bell curve
370
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,290
peaking around the present,
that would bring the total
371
00:16:26,290 --> 00:16:29,140
up to 193 men.
372
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,560
Plus or minus eight men.
373
00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:34,350
Remarkable.
374
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,880
Did you have sexual intercourse
with all of these men?
375
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,270
No.
376
00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:39,430
Although that number would be
377
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:41,320
fairly easy
to calculate.
Oh.
378
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,270
Based on the number of
awkward encounters I've had
379
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:45,270
with strange men leaving
her apartment in the morning,
380
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:46,910
plus the number of times
381
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,780
she's returned home
wearing the same clothes
382
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:49,980
she wore the night before...
383
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,150
Okay, Sheldon, I think
you've made your point.
384
00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:53,610
So we multiply 193--
385
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:57,120
minus 21 men
before the loss of virginity--
386
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,500
so 172
387
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,340
times 0.18 gives us...
388
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:03,960
30.96 sexual partners.
389
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:06,760
Let's round that up to 31.
390
00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:10,300
Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong.
391
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,470
That is not even close
to the real number.
392
00:17:12,470 --> 00:17:15,470
I'm gonna need
a drink over here.
393
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:16,720
This is very interesting.
394
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,410
Cultural perceptions
are subjective.
395
00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:20,890
Penny, to your mind,
are you a slut?
396
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:25,410
No! No!
397
00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:27,380
No.
398
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,400
Let's just all finish
our dinners, okay?
399
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,320
This is
an interesting topic.
400
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,860
How many sexual encounters
have you had?
401
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:37,190
Does volunteering
for a scientific experiment
402
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,210
in which orgasm was achieved
by electronically
403
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:41,800
stimulating the pleasure centers
of the brain count?
404
00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:45,150
I should think so.
405
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,440
Then 128.
406
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:58,380
Okay, come on.
407
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:00,560
Almost there.
408
00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:07,550
Don't tug.
No tugging.
409
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,190
Next time, take your own advice.
410
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,360
Excuse me,
could you help us out?
411
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,780
My, my, my.
412
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,750
What do we have here?
413
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:19,780
I slipped and fell.
414
00:18:19,790 --> 00:18:21,590
Yeah, we get that a lot.
415
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:24,420
What is this?
416
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,590
It's a robot arm.
417
00:18:26,590 --> 00:18:29,130
Where's the rest of the robot?
418
00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:31,210
I only built the arm.
419
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,880
'Cause that's all
you needed, right?
420
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:37,940
Can you please
just help me?!
421
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,220
All right, all right.
422
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,060
Hang on, stay calm.
423
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:44,430
I need an orderly
with a wheelchair.
424
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:48,630
I got a robot hand grasping
a man's penis out here.
425
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,150
You think you could be
a little more discreet?
426
00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:53,680
I'm sorry,
we don't have a code for
427
00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:56,040
"robot hand
grasping a man's penis."
428
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,770
Why is it hooked up
to a computer?
429
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,310
Uh, it's what
controls the arm.
430
00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,330
But it's frozen.
431
00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:04,130
Did you try turning it off
and back on again?
432
00:19:04,130 --> 00:19:07,000
No, you see, it's more
complicated than that.
433
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,770
No, wait!
434
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:19,010
Winnie the Pooh
is out of the honey tree.
435
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:23,260
Now can we have cookies
and Hawaiian Punch?
436
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,350
You were right.
437
00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:31,990
This was a very
productive evening.
438
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:36,160
I saw a whole new side of
Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.
439
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:40,030
I did not have
sex with 31 guys.
440
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,360
I'll be happy
to check the math,
441
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,700
but numbers
don't lie, Penny.
442
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:45,900
In any event,
443
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,500
now that Amy and I have
spent quality time together,
444
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,010
I feel much
more confident
445
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:53,510
proceeding to the next
stage of our relationship.
446
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:54,880
And that is?
447
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,630
Using in vitro
fertilization
448
00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:00,350
and a surrogate uterus to
gift humanity with our progeny.
449
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,640
You're still
on that?
450
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:08,560
In these uncertain times,
doesn't humanity deserve a gift?
451
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,690
Okay, you know what?
452
00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:13,140
I'm gonna come at this
in a whole new way.
453
00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:16,280
Sheldon, if you try to make
a baby with Amy in a petri dish,
454
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,530
I'm gonna tell
your mother on you.
455
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:20,370
That's no threat.
456
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:22,450
My mother's always
wanted a grandchild.
457
00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:25,710
Really? Your deeply religious
born-again Christian mother
458
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:28,130
wants a test-tube grandbaby
born out of wedlock?
459
00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:33,800
Curses.
460
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,720
If I'd thought of that
in the first place,
461
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,970
I could've saved myself
this whole night.
462
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,470
Well, it's not that late.
463
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,010
You could still go out
and look for number 32.
464
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,810
Good night.
465
00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:51,070
Hey, Howard,
what's up?
466
00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:52,970
I've decided
not to procreate.
467
00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:55,190
Yeah, yeah, great.
468
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,460
Howard, uh, slow down.
469
00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:58,490
What do you mean
it happened again?
470
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:01,720
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
471
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,720
-- Resync to The Big Bang Theory S04
720p BluRay x264-CLUE by lorez --