1 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,379 All units, please respond to a possible intruder 2 00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:40,881 in the research department. 3 00:00:52,164 --> 00:00:54,332 This product is the result 4 00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:57,204 of years of research and development. 5 00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:58,808 Everyone at the company 6 00:00:58,843 --> 00:01:01,946 is convinced the stock price is going to soar. 7 00:01:07,524 --> 00:01:08,826 A toy? 8 00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:09,960 Chubby Snubby. 9 00:01:09,994 --> 00:01:12,531 I was the exec overseeing its safety report, 10 00:01:12,565 --> 00:01:15,905 which came back with a level three choking hazard rating. 11 00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:19,512 But I refused to cook the books, so Hazlit fired me. 12 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:20,514 Hazlit? 13 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,653 Trent Hazlit, C.E.O. of Poggio Toys. 14 00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:25,095 And he's not worried about lawsuits? 15 00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:27,798 Hazlit does cost-benefits for everything. 16 00:01:27,832 --> 00:01:30,538 And the deaths of a few kids is an acceptable risk 17 00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:31,775 in the name of profit. 18 00:01:31,809 --> 00:01:33,177 Well, he is awfully cute. 19 00:01:33,212 --> 00:01:35,446 Not so cute when a kid swallows its nose 20 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,018 and it swells up to the size of a pomegranate. 21 00:01:38,053 --> 00:01:39,622 Hazlit buried the Chubby Snubby report 22 00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:41,159 so he could launch before Christmas. 23 00:01:41,193 --> 00:01:43,362 All the toys are at retail warehouses 24 00:01:43,397 --> 00:01:46,335 waiting for the announcement at the Pacific Toy Expo. 25 00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,210 We're looking at a ticking bomb. 26 00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:53,215 Don't let this thing hit the market, Mr. Ford... please. 27 00:01:56,706 --> 00:02:01,245 Trent Hazlit... C.E.O. of global toy giant Poggio Toys. 28 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,287 And the days of the colorful family toy exec are long gone. 29 00:02:04,322 --> 00:02:06,892 Nowadays, companies bring in these Wall Street Wolverines 30 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,895 who couldn't care less about kids or toys. 31 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,264 All they care about is branding and stock growth. 32 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,900 Well, where'd Hazlit come from? 33 00:02:12,935 --> 00:02:14,403 - One guess. - Santa's workshop. 34 00:02:14,437 --> 00:02:15,974 - No. - Doughnuts. 35 00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:17,809 No. And that's two guesses. Stop playing. 36 00:02:19,111 --> 00:02:21,048 He comes from defense contracting. 37 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:23,552 20 years ago, he was selling RPGs and anti-aircraft weaponry 38 00:02:23,586 --> 00:02:24,921 to both Latin-American dictators 39 00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:26,559 and the rebel groups that opposed them. 40 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,395 - I hate arms dealers. - Yeah. 41 00:02:28,429 --> 00:02:30,664 Now, nine years ago, he takes over Poggio Toys, 42 00:02:30,699 --> 00:02:32,669 moves the manufacturing overseas, 43 00:02:32,703 --> 00:02:34,405 he lowered safety standards, 44 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,441 and he buried class-action suits. 45 00:02:36,477 --> 00:02:37,745 Okay, uh, what's security like? 46 00:02:37,779 --> 00:02:39,181 He's using the same M.O. 47 00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:40,417 As he did when he sold weapons. 48 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,588 He's using double-walled rooms. 49 00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:44,527 He's locking away toy designs at the end of every shift. 50 00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:45,529 He's changing codes daily. 51 00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:47,199 Uh, safety report? 52 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,503 It's digital. 53 00:02:48,538 --> 00:02:49,805 It's kept in a special server, 54 00:02:49,839 --> 00:02:50,906 which is locked in a special safe, 55 00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:52,274 which is held in a special server room. 56 00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:53,275 Parker? 57 00:02:53,309 --> 00:02:54,778 Ah, a Boylan-Kim 53-11. 58 00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,950 Just have to drill it... No problem. 59 00:02:56,984 --> 00:02:59,487 Okay. So, we'll steal the safety report, 60 00:02:59,521 --> 00:03:01,255 release it to the public, 61 00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,092 then Hazlit is gonna have to spike 62 00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,927 the Chubby Snubby dog launch. 63 00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:08,298 Let's do it. 64 00:03:19,378 --> 00:03:20,812 I-I'm saying that we... 65 00:03:20,846 --> 00:03:23,083 Uh, I think we went overboard on Christmas gifts last year. 66 00:03:24,887 --> 00:03:26,721 Nate, I love my Ecosse motorcycle 67 00:03:26,755 --> 00:03:30,757 from last Christmas... Compliments of my Santa-baby. 68 00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:36,030 You spent $100,000 on a motorcycle? 69 00:03:36,064 --> 00:03:37,896 Don't hate the gift. 70 00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:39,231 Hate the elf. 71 00:03:39,265 --> 00:03:40,934 I do hate the elf. 72 00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:43,571 So, are you saying 73 00:03:43,605 --> 00:03:45,539 No Christmas presents at all? 74 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,673 Not even something small? 75 00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:47,974 No gifts. 76 00:03:48,008 --> 00:03:50,008 But 77 00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,943 How are we supposed to do Christmas without any presents? 78 00:03:52,977 --> 00:03:54,845 Let's just put a limit on spending. 79 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,982 Say...$1,000 a... 80 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:01,485 $100 a... 81 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,988 50 bucks a person. Mm. 82 00:04:05,657 --> 00:04:08,125 Fine, whatever. 83 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:15,650 Subtitles edited by Ehhhhtozebec 84 00:04:17,932 --> 00:04:19,764 I'm in. 85 00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,750 Okay. Downloading now. 86 00:04:40,785 --> 00:04:43,387 And... I got it. 87 00:04:44,891 --> 00:04:47,660 Three minutes to seal up, and he'll never know we were here. 88 00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:56,669 Yeah, he doctored the data. 89 00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:58,539 And the American Safety Association of Pediatricians 90 00:04:58,573 --> 00:04:59,741 is giving it five stars! 91 00:04:59,775 --> 00:05:01,376 Yeah, I thought that was weird. 92 00:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,676 Yeah, they're a bunch of retired doctors 93 00:05:02,711 --> 00:05:04,977 based out of Guam with no standing in the business. 94 00:05:05,012 --> 00:05:06,812 I'm sure they're on Hazlit's payroll. 95 00:05:06,846 --> 00:05:08,414 Shouldn't somebody be regulating this stuff? 96 00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,283 Want to know who regulates toy safety in this country? 97 00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,385 The toy companies. 98 00:05:11,420 --> 00:05:14,921 What about government? 99 00:05:14,956 --> 00:05:16,190 Consumer Product Safety Commission. 100 00:05:16,225 --> 00:05:17,226 They try. 101 00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,095 They're a solid government agency, 102 00:05:19,129 --> 00:05:21,194 but safety studies are voluntary, 103 00:05:21,229 --> 00:05:23,528 so certain companies just won't take that risk 104 00:05:23,563 --> 00:05:25,464 because if a toy is found hazardous, 105 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,033 they have to make it public. 106 00:05:27,068 --> 00:05:28,733 Yeah, unless you buy some doctors in Guam. 107 00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:30,834 I appreciate you trying. 108 00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:32,135 Wait, wait, wait. 109 00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,073 Mr. Marris, listen... This isn't over. 110 00:05:34,107 --> 00:05:35,340 It isn't. 111 00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:38,139 Now, we are not gonna let that toy get released. 112 00:05:38,174 --> 00:05:40,476 I don't think you know who you're up against. 113 00:05:40,510 --> 00:05:43,445 Trent Hazlit is a corporate hitman... 114 00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:45,414 He's capable of anything. 115 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,620 You realize that without that safety study, we got nothing. 116 00:05:52,654 --> 00:05:53,621 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 117 00:05:53,655 --> 00:05:54,922 So, why'd you promise him that? 118 00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:58,225 Because we are not gonna let that toy get released. 119 00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,260 We're gonna steal Christmas. 120 00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,967 No, the Trojan Horse won't work. 121 00:06:04,087 --> 00:06:05,804 We'd have to sell Hazlit a toy company 122 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,608 so filled with financial liability 123 00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:10,377 that it bankrupts him before the launch of Chubby Snubby. 124 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,648 Exactly. We just bait him with a new hit toy. 125 00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:14,385 But the launch is in three days. 126 00:06:14,419 --> 00:06:16,654 We don't have time to create a whole new toy. 127 00:06:16,688 --> 00:06:19,291 Ah, that's why Hardison is finding us some failed toys 128 00:06:19,326 --> 00:06:20,293 that already exist. 129 00:06:20,328 --> 00:06:22,029 Yeah, this is second run of fun. 130 00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:23,831 It's a third-party toy distributor 131 00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:26,502 that sells failed toys to Bolivia and the Sudan in bulk. 132 00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:29,038 They also sell those Super Bowl "loser" t-shirts. 133 00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:32,474 Mm. Now, check this out... they got TSA security screener, 134 00:06:32,508 --> 00:06:36,312 Whirlie-Glee-Glee, homeless mother and daughter doll set. 135 00:06:36,347 --> 00:06:37,645 These are toys. 136 00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:39,978 And this is my favorite... Sir Boat-A-Lot. 137 00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:42,747 You pull his arm, and he gives you a sailing tip. 138 00:06:42,781 --> 00:06:45,183 Go back, uh, to the turny thing. Just... 139 00:06:45,217 --> 00:06:46,652 The Whirlie-Glee-Glee? Yeah. 140 00:06:46,686 --> 00:06:48,854 This thing was supposed to do figure eights. 141 00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:50,321 It barely did a figure one. 142 00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:51,322 Sold 1,100 units. 143 00:06:51,356 --> 00:06:53,023 I actually think I had one as a kid. 144 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,028 Well, it's bland enough to slip through the cracks 145 00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,698 but quirky enough to seem novel. 146 00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,835 So, we just have to get the kids to go crazy 147 00:06:59,869 --> 00:07:01,838 for a toy that was once considered junk. 148 00:07:01,873 --> 00:07:03,308 Mm. Well, a toy craze is like a con... 149 00:07:03,342 --> 00:07:05,245 You just got to convince them that they want something 150 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,579 that they didn't know they wanted. 151 00:07:06,614 --> 00:07:08,247 In this case, it's preschoolers. 152 00:07:08,281 --> 00:07:09,882 So, when is this thing shipped to Africa? 153 00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:11,919 In 39 hours. 154 00:07:11,954 --> 00:07:13,589 Okay, well, we got to get our hands on the, uh... the, uh... 155 00:07:13,624 --> 00:07:15,025 Whirlie-Glee-Glee? 156 00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:17,624 Whirlie-Glee-Glee before it's gone-gone. 157 00:07:17,659 --> 00:07:18,526 Right. 158 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,848 Hmm. 159 00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:01,346 Who in the hell would give this thing to a child? 160 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,381 It's not a thing. 161 00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,420 It is a doll, and kids love dolls. 162 00:08:04,454 --> 00:08:05,454 It ain't no doll. 163 00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:06,755 That's some old, voodoo witchcraft, 164 00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,056 and I don't want it up in Lucille. 165 00:08:08,091 --> 00:08:09,658 You know what? What if I said that about the flashy kicks 166 00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:10,660 you've been giving me lately? 167 00:08:10,694 --> 00:08:12,063 Hey, they are awesome. 168 00:08:12,097 --> 00:08:13,766 They make you shiny and fast. 169 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,931 Okay, this thing, no kid should ever be subjected to... ever. 170 00:08:20,872 --> 00:08:22,108 Nate, you see this? 171 00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:23,343 Oh. 172 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,844 Guys, it doesn't matter what toy Parker picks. 173 00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:27,213 Anything can be sold. 174 00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,282 Eliot's right. 175 00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:29,651 It's just a mass-marketing con game, 176 00:08:29,685 --> 00:08:31,387 and it's about creating wildfire buzz 177 00:08:31,421 --> 00:08:34,289 like the modern-art world or the movie business. 178 00:08:34,323 --> 00:08:35,388 Any crappy product... 179 00:08:35,422 --> 00:08:37,187 Wha... Baby Joy Rage is not crappy. 180 00:08:37,221 --> 00:08:39,823 - It's crappy. - Any misunderstood product can make billions 181 00:08:39,858 --> 00:08:42,258 as long as it has the right buzz. 182 00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:45,597 We just got to get that thing on Hazlit's radar. 183 00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:51,669 J.I.C. says the kids will clock the mutt in at 88.6% satisfied. 184 00:08:51,704 --> 00:08:53,805 The what, sir? 185 00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:56,872 The J. I.C.... Jubilation Index Calculator. 186 00:08:56,906 --> 00:08:57,972 New app I developed. 187 00:08:58,006 --> 00:08:59,575 Just take a pic of the item. 188 00:08:59,609 --> 00:09:02,144 Boom... the thing registers the toy's gross market 189 00:09:02,178 --> 00:09:03,645 and franchise potential 190 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,813 vis-à-vis the kid's hand size, age, and ethnicity. 191 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:10,182 88.6 is 4 points higher than trampy... what's-her-face? 192 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,816 Damsel Judy. 193 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:15,418 Still don't know how dads let their girls near that thing. 194 00:09:15,452 --> 00:09:17,285 But, hey, the little tramp 195 00:09:17,319 --> 00:09:19,752 earned us $24 million last year, right? 196 00:09:21,088 --> 00:09:23,656 Hazlit has a vise-grip on retail giant Joylandia's 197 00:09:23,691 --> 00:09:24,922 premium shelf space. 198 00:09:24,957 --> 00:09:26,691 Companies fight to the death each year 199 00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,328 for the best shelf space in stores. 200 00:09:28,362 --> 00:09:30,832 And that kind of contract gets re-upped here at this expo. 201 00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,867 All right, Sophie, you're the new competition. 202 00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:35,469 Get that contract. 203 00:09:37,074 --> 00:09:40,111 End caps, action alleys, interactive kiosks... 204 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,481 I want it all because this toy is gonna be massive. 205 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:48,121 You don't know how many reps tell me that, Miss... Ronder. 206 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,823 Well, unlike them, I'm not guessing. 207 00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:51,958 I never guess. 208 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,893 I have a 95% sell-through rate. 209 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,094 Mm-hmm. 210 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:59,428 Listen... I'm telling you, this toy is a hit. 211 00:09:59,462 --> 00:10:02,129 I'm staying at the Lamy. 212 00:10:02,164 --> 00:10:03,862 - Oh! - Oh, pardon me. 213 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,764 Excuse me. 214 00:10:05,798 --> 00:10:08,468 Hey. Trent, how the hell are you? 215 00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:11,006 Good, Gil. Who was that? 216 00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,608 Oh, Mimi Ronder. 217 00:10:12,642 --> 00:10:15,945 New toy rep with a ton of charm... 218 00:10:15,979 --> 00:10:18,545 And a great pair of legs. 219 00:10:18,579 --> 00:10:21,747 She's bidding on Joylandia's premium shelf space? 220 00:10:23,149 --> 00:10:26,082 You don't have a thing to worry about, Trent, old boy. 221 00:10:26,116 --> 00:10:28,820 You always come up with the highest bid. 222 00:10:32,523 --> 00:10:34,323 You know Hazlit's just gonna outbid us 223 00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:35,758 for that shelf-space package. 224 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:36,794 Ah, that's fine. 225 00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:38,363 That bid was just to get on his radar. 226 00:10:38,398 --> 00:10:40,299 Now comes the hard part... 227 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:44,072 Getting the kids of America to love a toy they never wanted. 228 00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:48,368 Ah, we just got to find the right place to start a viral toy craze. 229 00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:50,624 Now, I ran algorithms on all the Portland zip codes 230 00:10:50,658 --> 00:10:52,994 to find the most likely nexus for a social buzz epidemic. 231 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,430 These hub agents are the most influential family areas. 232 00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:58,355 Families who start fads. Good. 233 00:10:58,475 --> 00:10:59,336 Right. 234 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,790 Now, they're all connected to different groups, 235 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,588 but they have one thing in common. 236 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,860 Ah, a weekly farmer's market. 237 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,765 So, I figure we go set up a booth, 238 00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,456 start a grassroots-type craze. 239 00:11:10,576 --> 00:11:11,222 Perfect. 240 00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:13,746 I get a vendor's license to sell the toy. 241 00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:15,864 - We can... - Ehh, I don't think so. 242 00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:18,364 So... no to the farmer's market? 243 00:11:18,398 --> 00:11:20,766 Yes to the farmer's market. No to selling the toy there. 244 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,302 We're not? 245 00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:24,204 No, we're gonna do something 246 00:11:24,239 --> 00:11:26,338 much more effective than selling. 247 00:11:26,372 --> 00:11:27,371 These look great. 248 00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:29,272 That's fine. 249 00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:32,480 Look, it's happy. 250 00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:35,015 Aw, it's not so happy, but then it's happy again. 251 00:11:35,049 --> 00:11:36,016 It changes moods. 252 00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,517 It's pretty cool, right? 253 00:11:37,552 --> 00:11:39,785 No? 254 00:11:39,819 --> 00:11:41,619 Hey! Here, take it... It's free. 255 00:11:41,653 --> 00:11:43,818 Thank you. 256 00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,219 Tell your friends! 257 00:11:45,253 --> 00:11:47,320 Free toys! Yeah! 258 00:11:49,557 --> 00:11:50,727 Hey, hey. 259 00:11:50,761 --> 00:11:53,231 There you are. All right. Huh? 260 00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:55,498 There you go, buddy. Good? 261 00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,968 Nate, it seems to be working. 262 00:11:58,002 --> 00:12:01,305 The drug-dealer approach... you for real? 263 00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:02,406 First taste is free. 264 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,408 Word spreads, keeps them coming back for more. 265 00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:06,814 Now, we got to get that toy in the hands of a tastemaker. 266 00:12:06,848 --> 00:12:08,749 You know, the people that tell other people what to buy. 267 00:12:08,784 --> 00:12:11,086 And you know who the most influential tastemakers are? 268 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,971 Celebrities. 269 00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:17,076 I got one. 270 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,279 This is pre-teen Sandy Matteo. 271 00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:23,247 She's from that show "Sandy's School Times." 272 00:12:23,281 --> 00:12:25,014 She's got a major fan base... major. 273 00:12:25,049 --> 00:12:29,186 An endorsement from this girl's gonna give us a Tsunami of hype. 274 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,188 What? No! There is no way. 275 00:12:31,223 --> 00:12:33,859 It is three points on the gross, or... 276 00:12:33,893 --> 00:12:35,928 Okay, or I fire your ass... 277 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,765 The Harold Shuckersan Agency shrivels up and dies! 278 00:12:40,836 --> 00:12:42,604 Where the hell are my clothes? 279 00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:46,442 It's impossible to find anything in these giant totes, isn't it? 280 00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:49,243 You know, I almost lost my Shih Tzu in mine. 281 00:12:50,779 --> 00:12:52,946 No. No, no. 282 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,178 That's disgusting. 283 00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,046 What's yours, hmm? A Gucci? 284 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,266 It's an original Erin Walter... Not on the market yet. 285 00:12:59,386 --> 00:13:00,354 Ohh. 286 00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,123 You're Sandy Matteo, right? 287 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:06,060 You're marvelous, darling. 288 00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:17,806 Sandy Matteo now loves and endorses Baby Joy Rage. 289 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,176 You know what, man? 290 00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:21,813 I could actually make a second career as a paparazzo. 291 00:13:21,848 --> 00:13:23,880 All right, great. Let's get that endorsement out there. 292 00:13:23,915 --> 00:13:25,149 Got you. I am currently embedding Matteo's photos 293 00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:26,150 on 23 different sites... 294 00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,521 Teen blog pages, game portals, toy blogs... you name it. 295 00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:31,459 I even got celebrities tweeting about it. 296 00:13:31,493 --> 00:13:32,994 Man, if there is a kid who does not know 297 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,196 what this toy is by next week, 298 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,498 they're probably being homeschooled somewhere 299 00:13:35,532 --> 00:13:36,499 under a rock. 300 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,902 Okay, next step is scarcity. 301 00:13:37,936 --> 00:13:39,638 All right, we got to make it feel like 302 00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,205 every mom and dad in the country 303 00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:42,806 can't get their hands on this toy. 304 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:43,808 Got it. 305 00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:49,417 I was just wondering if you might, by any chance, 306 00:13:49,451 --> 00:13:54,360 have one of those Baby Joy Rage... no, "Joy Rage." 307 00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:55,796 It's a doll. 308 00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:56,997 Okay. Well, yeah, I... 309 00:13:58,264 --> 00:13:59,296 Zachary. 310 00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:00,531 I need more conviction. 311 00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:02,099 What's the most important thing 312 00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,335 for an actor to remember in character? 313 00:14:03,369 --> 00:14:06,338 Your lines. No... desire. 314 00:14:06,373 --> 00:14:08,107 What do you want, Zachary? 315 00:14:08,142 --> 00:14:09,442 What does the character want? 316 00:14:09,476 --> 00:14:10,710 The toy. 317 00:14:10,744 --> 00:14:12,113 Why do you want it, Zachary? 318 00:14:12,148 --> 00:14:13,147 To make my child happy? 319 00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:14,215 No. 320 00:14:14,249 --> 00:14:15,616 You want that toy so that your child 321 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,083 will sit still for a couple of seconds 322 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,384 and give you some peace and quiet 323 00:14:18,418 --> 00:14:20,952 so you can finally open that delicious bottle of Merlot 324 00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,142 that you've been dreaming about since 10:00 A.M. this morning. 325 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,047 God. 326 00:14:25,841 --> 00:14:27,908 You get me. 327 00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:29,109 When I win my first Oscar... 328 00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:30,342 Mm. 329 00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:31,410 I'm gonna name it after you, Ms. Devereaux. 330 00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:32,711 Ah. 331 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:33,846 I'm gonna thank everyone, and then I'm gonna say, 332 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,315 "this is not an Oscar..." Mnh-mnh. 333 00:14:35,349 --> 00:14:36,984 - "...it's a Devereaux." - Okay, Zachary. 334 00:14:37,018 --> 00:14:39,052 Right. 335 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,121 Hello. Yes. 336 00:14:43,155 --> 00:14:45,926 I need this Baby Joy Rage doll. 337 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,394 "Baby Joy Rage." 338 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,228 Yeah, my kid has been going crazy for this thing. 339 00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:52,063 All of his friends have one, 340 00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:55,134 and my wife has made me drive to the store three times 341 00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:56,901 just to see if it's in yet. 342 00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:59,367 Pantani! 343 00:15:01,136 --> 00:15:03,071 You wanted to see me, sir? 344 00:15:03,105 --> 00:15:04,239 What the hell is this? 345 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,438 Sandy Matteo is plugging this doll? 346 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,039 I thought she had an exclusive with us... 347 00:15:10,074 --> 00:15:11,274 On the mini-skirt dancer hoop. 348 00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:12,607 Well, I'll look into it. 349 00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:13,808 And customer relations is saying we're getting calls 350 00:15:13,843 --> 00:15:14,942 asking if we own the doll, 351 00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:16,476 wanting to know when it's gonna be released. 352 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,649 Oh, well, look at this. 353 00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:21,151 That toy rep I saw. 354 00:15:21,185 --> 00:15:24,153 Oh, oh, she is a naughty, naughty girl. 355 00:15:24,188 --> 00:15:26,626 Okay, I want a sit-down with Gil Barton at Joylandia 356 00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:27,660 A.S.A.-Freaking-P. 357 00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:29,727 And I want the media saturation numbers 358 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,328 on this demon doll before the end of business today. 359 00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:33,529 Come on! Chop-chop! 360 00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:35,297 Let's move! 361 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:41,172 Baby Joy Rage's media saturation number's hovering around 62%. 362 00:15:41,292 --> 00:15:42,489 It's not enough. 363 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,576 We need it to be at least 89%. 364 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,546 Santa's little helper here is right... the doll's a bust. 365 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,214 Whirlie stupid thing would have done worse. 366 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,215 And you're an expert on this because? 367 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,716 - Guys. - Because I was there. 368 00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,283 - It spoke to me. - It spoke to you? 369 00:15:52,317 --> 00:15:53,718 Yes, it reminded me of a toy 370 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,021 my social worker used to make me do exercises with. 371 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,188 Are you kidding me with that? 372 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,459 Oh, like you always do what you're supposed to? 373 00:15:58,493 --> 00:15:59,894 - This is stupid. - Guys, just settle down. 374 00:15:59,928 --> 00:16:01,963 Wait a minute. Exercises... What kind of exercises? 375 00:16:01,997 --> 00:16:05,265 Identifying emotions or something like that. 376 00:16:07,435 --> 00:16:09,535 And what do you feel here? 377 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,671 Anger. 378 00:16:14,576 --> 00:16:16,878 And this girl with an ice cream cone? 379 00:16:16,912 --> 00:16:18,845 More anger. 380 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:26,151 And these happy folks at the beach? 381 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:29,920 Actually, this one may be... 382 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,657 Definitely anger. 383 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,690 That's it. That's it. It's obvious. 384 00:16:34,725 --> 00:16:36,324 We can't con a 6-year-old. 385 00:16:36,359 --> 00:16:37,893 You know who we can con? 386 00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:40,262 Their parents. 387 00:16:43,865 --> 00:16:46,989 Okay, so Hardison you get on that lecture thing, Eliot you get on the mommies. 388 00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:48,843 And he doesn't mean that literally. 389 00:16:48,878 --> 00:16:50,735 - That joke is never funny. - It's always funny. 390 00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:51,911 No. It's not, Hardison. 391 00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,652 Comedy's about timing, and you don't have it! 392 00:16:53,686 --> 00:16:55,318 Do we really think parents are gonna bite on this? 393 00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:57,154 Uh, yeah. What do you think parents are most afraid of? 394 00:16:57,188 --> 00:16:58,156 - Clowns. - No. 395 00:16:58,190 --> 00:17:00,226 - Evil clowns? - No, Parker. 396 00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,095 Crazy clowns called GeeGee who whisper your name from under your bed? 397 00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:03,864 No. 398 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,799 No, parents are most afraid that their kids 399 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,467 aren't gonna be successful... That they're somehow 400 00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:08,969 not gonna be able to compete with other kids. 401 00:17:09,004 --> 00:17:10,072 They're gonna be left behind... 402 00:17:10,106 --> 00:17:11,251 That's what they're most afraid of. 403 00:17:11,371 --> 00:17:14,075 So, we pitch the doll as a developmental tool, 404 00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:17,013 and the child uses it to access their emotions 405 00:17:17,047 --> 00:17:18,148 and become more socially aware. 406 00:17:18,183 --> 00:17:19,283 Absolutely. This is gonna work. 407 00:17:19,317 --> 00:17:20,350 And if they don't buy it, 408 00:17:20,385 --> 00:17:21,585 they run the risk of the kid being a misfit 409 00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:22,920 and living in the basement until he's 40. 410 00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:25,954 We need a name for the new toy... and a good name. Uhh... 411 00:17:25,989 --> 00:17:27,255 Not crazy GeeGee. 412 00:17:27,289 --> 00:17:28,356 Uh, no. Umm... 413 00:17:28,391 --> 00:17:31,194 Baby Feels-A-Lot. 414 00:17:31,229 --> 00:17:33,063 Wait... wait, what? What? 415 00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:34,730 "Baby Feels-A-Lot." 416 00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:36,732 I feel a lot. You feel a lot. 417 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,369 We all feel a lot. 418 00:17:38,404 --> 00:17:40,573 And it's okay to feel a lot, 419 00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:44,743 as long as you use your words, right? 420 00:17:47,512 --> 00:17:50,413 Sophie Devereaux. 421 00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:52,282 Isn't this... I don't know, wrong... 422 00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:55,184 Messing with Christmas presents, playing with parents' fears? 423 00:17:55,218 --> 00:17:57,489 I mean, don't you feel just a little bit guilty 424 00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:58,491 given the holiday? 425 00:17:58,526 --> 00:17:59,593 Mm, no. 426 00:17:59,627 --> 00:18:00,594 - I do. - Why? 427 00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:02,330 Because. 428 00:18:02,364 --> 00:18:04,734 Parker, why is that people give each other Christmas presents? 429 00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:06,237 To be nice. 430 00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:07,908 No, because they're being programmed 431 00:18:07,942 --> 00:18:10,211 by these giant corporations that do all this research 432 00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:12,881 to figure out how to push these psychological buttons in people 433 00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,652 to make them get these presents, right? 434 00:18:14,686 --> 00:18:16,423 Make no mistake, what we're doing 435 00:18:16,457 --> 00:18:19,227 is we're manipulating fears and making these toys, 436 00:18:19,261 --> 00:18:20,995 all of it. 437 00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:25,401 This... This... is Christmas. 438 00:18:27,037 --> 00:18:28,004 Yeah. 439 00:18:28,038 --> 00:18:29,338 Let's get to work. 440 00:18:29,373 --> 00:18:31,874 Children are unable to communicate 441 00:18:31,909 --> 00:18:33,443 the way they once did. 442 00:18:33,477 --> 00:18:37,481 We have taken away their need for cognitive thought process, 443 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,249 their yearning for communiqué, if you will. 444 00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:43,789 But I'm here to tell you that that is all about to change 445 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,296 because we are bringing you a new toy to the marketplace. 446 00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:51,399 Please allow me to present Baby Feels-A-Lot. 447 00:18:51,433 --> 00:18:55,302 Now children will be able to once again communicate 448 00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,804 on a humane level. 449 00:18:56,838 --> 00:19:01,306 They will be able to learn how to be emotionally articulate. 450 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:02,606 Are they happy? 451 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,174 Are they sad? 452 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,707 Are they mad? 453 00:19:05,742 --> 00:19:08,543 It is because we, as adults, 454 00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:12,680 know that fun is the work of childhood, 455 00:19:12,715 --> 00:19:18,553 and toys are the tools that we use to accomplish that work. 456 00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,490 Thank you. 457 00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:23,126 All right, cut. 458 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,061 Dude, how do you come up with this crap? 459 00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:27,499 I studied early-childhood development. 460 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:28,699 Look, man, video's done. 461 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,670 I make it seem like I'm talking to hundreds, 462 00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:34,005 upload it to the blogger mom sites, we're good to go. 463 00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,606 Dude, the blogger moms? 464 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,775 Yes, blogger moms. 465 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,478 They talk about parenthood, schools, life at home. 466 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,179 Look, you get one of these sites to endorse you, 467 00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:44,317 your toy's gonna go viral... trust me. 468 00:19:48,591 --> 00:19:49,590 That's a blogger mom? 469 00:19:49,625 --> 00:19:50,758 Uh, Chardonnay Mom? 470 00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,493 Yeah, that's Allie Stanbrook, man. 471 00:19:52,528 --> 00:19:54,895 She runs one of the top blogger sites in the nation. 472 00:19:54,929 --> 00:19:57,397 She's local, too... PDX, baby. 473 00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:00,601 All right, look, listen to me, 474 00:20:00,636 --> 00:20:02,669 if I'm gonna do this, all right, I want to... 475 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,736 I want to be tough dad. 476 00:20:03,771 --> 00:20:05,272 You know what I mean? Cool dad. 477 00:20:05,308 --> 00:20:06,741 Just enough to turn her head. 478 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,743 Don't go overboard on this. Keep it simple. 479 00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:11,681 You know, someone who's... Who's not afraid to make a PB&J, 480 00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:14,216 okay, but still wants to go out in the yard, get dirty, 481 00:20:14,251 --> 00:20:16,084 kick the soccer ball around a little bit... 482 00:20:16,118 --> 00:20:18,921 Strict... but fair. 483 00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:23,493 After my wife passed, it was, uh... 484 00:20:23,527 --> 00:20:30,532 It was very tough for me and my son... Dashiel... to communicate. 485 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:39,806 But... that's when Baby Feels-A-Lot came into our lives. 486 00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,840 And, you know, listen, don't get me wrong. 487 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,576 I'm one of those dads... 488 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,081 I had a problem with my son playing with a doll. 489 00:20:47,116 --> 00:20:48,652 Yeah. 490 00:20:48,686 --> 00:20:52,657 But... I'll tell you something... it worked. 491 00:20:52,691 --> 00:20:54,258 We were talking again. 492 00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:55,259 Aww. 493 00:20:55,294 --> 00:20:57,928 You know, we were father and son. 494 00:20:57,962 --> 00:21:01,734 And I felt the duty... I had to get this out there. 495 00:21:01,768 --> 00:21:06,204 I had to let the other dads know what this product did for us. 496 00:21:06,239 --> 00:21:08,809 So, I started a blog. 497 00:21:08,843 --> 00:21:10,312 Oh, my God. 498 00:21:10,346 --> 00:21:13,016 Well, I know what it's like to be left alone. 499 00:21:14,318 --> 00:21:16,685 I mean, after my divorce, I was utterly gutted, 500 00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:19,624 went through all the stages of grief. 501 00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:21,460 It's what led me to start blogging. 502 00:21:21,495 --> 00:21:24,734 Hang in there, okay? 503 00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:25,802 I will. 504 00:21:25,837 --> 00:21:28,338 Honestly, I think with you here, Allie, 505 00:21:28,372 --> 00:21:31,306 I might just be able to hang on forever. 506 00:21:31,341 --> 00:21:32,307 Aww. 507 00:21:33,377 --> 00:21:35,144 Oh, Carl. Oh. 508 00:21:35,179 --> 00:21:36,980 Oh. 509 00:21:37,014 --> 00:21:38,849 Well, not only do you have my support, 510 00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:41,519 but you have the support of every blogger mom in the state. 511 00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:43,322 Oh, thank you. 512 00:21:43,356 --> 00:21:44,356 Ladies? 513 00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:50,496 I don't know who you are, lady, 514 00:21:50,530 --> 00:21:52,265 but your latest move with that doll, 515 00:21:52,299 --> 00:21:53,698 playing the smart baby card? 516 00:21:53,733 --> 00:21:59,101 Nicely done... If this was 2004. 517 00:21:59,135 --> 00:22:00,871 Smart babies are so eight years ago. 518 00:22:03,273 --> 00:22:05,906 Well-adjusted children are so today. 519 00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:08,409 In Dallas last week, firemen used a Baby Feels-A-Lot 520 00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:10,913 to coax a runaway child down from a radio tower. 521 00:22:10,948 --> 00:22:14,948 Do your toys save lives, Mr. Hazlit? 522 00:22:14,982 --> 00:22:15,949 Well, that is one smart baby. 523 00:22:15,983 --> 00:22:18,184 Hey, Trent. 524 00:22:18,219 --> 00:22:19,885 - Let's talk shelves. - Let's. 525 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,219 Oh, Mr. Barton. 526 00:22:21,254 --> 00:22:22,554 I'm so sorry. 527 00:22:22,588 --> 00:22:26,426 I just have a few minutes before my 3:15 at Mattel. 528 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:28,629 So, if you could possibly... 529 00:22:28,663 --> 00:22:32,132 Well... I don't suppose old Trent would mind, 530 00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,869 would you, son? 531 00:22:33,903 --> 00:22:35,902 I mean, ladies first. 532 00:22:38,272 --> 00:22:40,641 Ladies... of course. 533 00:22:40,676 --> 00:22:43,278 Okay, I've written three months' worth of blogs 534 00:22:43,312 --> 00:22:45,313 for our sensitive dad over here. 535 00:22:45,348 --> 00:22:47,415 I got prices for the braces, Dashiel's chess club... 536 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,418 You put in there that we went to the Super Bowl? 537 00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:51,555 Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, you even met some of the players. 538 00:22:51,589 --> 00:22:53,824 Now, what I was thinking... Tell me what you feel. 539 00:22:53,859 --> 00:22:55,626 You guys go on, like, a road trip cross-country, 540 00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:57,295 you do a tour, something like that. 541 00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,297 Yeah, yeah. I like that. 542 00:22:58,331 --> 00:22:59,564 You go see... I like that. 543 00:22:59,598 --> 00:23:00,898 Or... and I'm just gonna put this out there... 544 00:23:00,933 --> 00:23:02,133 What if I took him on a tour 545 00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:04,235 of all the ball parks in America, Hardison, huh? 546 00:23:04,269 --> 00:23:06,273 Or maybe took him to the opera or the moon, huh? 547 00:23:06,307 --> 00:23:07,608 - A little sarcasm? - A little sarcasm? 548 00:23:07,642 --> 00:23:09,142 You know, believable father-and-son stuff! 549 00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:10,475 Will you guys... A little focus, please. 550 00:23:10,509 --> 00:23:12,443 Focus your mind. Look at the picture he used, man! 551 00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:14,447 Hey! Hey! Excuse me, man. 552 00:23:14,482 --> 00:23:16,314 I'm sorry if this kind of writing opens me up creatively. 553 00:23:16,349 --> 00:23:17,982 I'm usually stuck looking at binary codes all day. 554 00:23:18,016 --> 00:23:20,881 Maybe I was writing the father that I wanted one day, okay? 555 00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:23,753 M... what's the problem with getting emotionally butt naked? 556 00:23:23,787 --> 00:23:25,352 Whoa. Oh, please, don't. Please, don't. Hey, we... 557 00:23:25,387 --> 00:23:26,954 I'm just trying to share my feelings... 558 00:23:26,988 --> 00:23:28,254 - We don't want to see that. - on paper. 559 00:23:28,289 --> 00:23:29,254 No, please. Please, don't. 560 00:23:29,289 --> 00:23:30,589 No, listen, Hardison, 561 00:23:30,624 --> 00:23:32,025 I'm very happy with your creativity and everything, 562 00:23:32,059 --> 00:23:33,728 but what I want to know is, what do you have 563 00:23:33,762 --> 00:23:35,028 on the blogger moms about Eliot? 564 00:23:35,062 --> 00:23:36,194 Oh, what did the mamas say? 565 00:23:36,228 --> 00:23:39,297 Oh, what are they saying about the sensitive dad? 566 00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,633 I got something for you. I got something for your ass. 567 00:23:42,668 --> 00:23:44,201 Boom. Chardonnay Mama. 568 00:23:44,236 --> 00:23:45,301 She cute, though. 569 00:23:45,335 --> 00:23:46,569 - Ain't she fine? - She is. 570 00:23:46,603 --> 00:23:48,373 Look what she says. 571 00:23:48,407 --> 00:23:50,107 "Oh, this week, I was introduced 572 00:23:50,142 --> 00:23:51,975 "to an amazing new toy called Baby Feels-A-Lot, 573 00:23:52,009 --> 00:23:53,777 "thanks to a gentleman who couldn't be more kind, 574 00:23:53,811 --> 00:23:56,918 more handsome, or more sensitive single dad." 575 00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:58,187 You don't deserve none of that. 576 00:23:58,221 --> 00:23:59,622 Now, how are we doing with the toy's popularity? 577 00:23:59,657 --> 00:24:02,124 Saturation indexes are ticking up 'cause I did my job. 578 00:24:02,158 --> 00:24:03,625 All right. 579 00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:05,126 Sophie, what's Hazlit up to? 580 00:24:06,162 --> 00:24:07,864 Well, if you're really serious, 581 00:24:07,898 --> 00:24:10,201 I mean, our next retreat's gonna be in Tahoe. 582 00:24:10,235 --> 00:24:12,234 Oh, Tahoe... count me in. 583 00:24:12,268 --> 00:24:13,700 Don't tease me, Gil. 584 00:24:13,735 --> 00:24:15,303 I am so flattered that you asked me. 585 00:24:15,338 --> 00:24:17,173 Excuse me, sir? 586 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:18,608 Oh, excuse me, Mimi. 587 00:24:18,642 --> 00:24:21,643 If I had a nickel for every deal memo I had to sign. 588 00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:22,910 Oh, no problem, Gil. 589 00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:25,815 It's been such a pleasure talking to you. 590 00:24:25,849 --> 00:24:28,787 Next year, you and me, kite surfing, Tahoe. 591 00:24:29,923 --> 00:24:31,758 Tahoe? Great. 592 00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:34,028 What the hell's going on here? 593 00:24:34,063 --> 00:24:35,331 What are you talking about? 594 00:24:35,365 --> 00:24:36,332 It's all over the expo. 595 00:24:36,367 --> 00:24:37,534 Little Miss High Heels there 596 00:24:37,568 --> 00:24:39,269 is bidding on the premium shelf space... 597 00:24:39,304 --> 00:24:40,871 days before my Chubby Snubby launch. 598 00:24:40,906 --> 00:24:43,408 I don't think I like your tone, Trent. 599 00:24:43,443 --> 00:24:44,777 I'll call you later. 600 00:24:44,811 --> 00:24:47,079 You have my number. 601 00:24:47,113 --> 00:24:48,746 I got yours. 602 00:24:51,249 --> 00:24:53,685 - Hi. - Merry Christmas! 603 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,356 Merry... ohh, you're grumpy. 604 00:24:56,390 --> 00:24:58,456 Merry Christmas! 605 00:24:58,491 --> 00:25:02,293 A little worried, Mr. Hazlit? 606 00:25:02,327 --> 00:25:05,528 1989. 607 00:25:05,562 --> 00:25:06,962 "1989"? 608 00:25:06,997 --> 00:25:09,967 25 macheted contras wanting to gut me navel-to-chin 609 00:25:10,001 --> 00:25:13,001 in the Honduran rain forest... then, I was worried. 610 00:25:13,036 --> 00:25:14,636 This? This is nothing. 611 00:25:14,671 --> 00:25:16,872 But I earned the contras' respect, 612 00:25:16,907 --> 00:25:18,873 and they taught me one thing. 613 00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:20,772 I'm all ears. 614 00:25:20,807 --> 00:25:22,239 "Plata o plomo." 615 00:25:22,273 --> 00:25:24,873 "Silver or lead." 616 00:25:24,907 --> 00:25:26,275 Exactly. 617 00:25:26,310 --> 00:25:30,546 Take a bribe, the silver, or you get a bullet, the lead. 618 00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:33,249 Those are gonna be Barton's options in the next few minutes. 619 00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:37,283 Behind door number one... $80,000 in cash. 620 00:25:37,316 --> 00:25:41,017 Take a peek inside for the lead. 621 00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:46,993 Pictures of Barton's last trip to Cabo... 622 00:25:47,027 --> 00:25:49,028 Pictures the missus doesn't want to see. 623 00:25:49,063 --> 00:25:51,798 Which do you think he's gonna choose? 624 00:25:51,832 --> 00:25:54,402 You play dirty, Hazlit. 625 00:25:54,437 --> 00:25:56,638 Well, you have no idea. 626 00:25:56,672 --> 00:26:00,242 And without Joylandia, your Baby Feel-Me-Up 627 00:26:00,276 --> 00:26:01,811 with all her little feelings 628 00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:04,346 that make the kiddies so emotionally articulate... 629 00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:05,915 You know what happens to it? 630 00:26:05,949 --> 00:26:07,917 Poof. Bye-bye. 631 00:26:11,192 --> 00:26:13,880 Hazlit is blackmailing Barton 632 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,821 to try and nix my shelf space, 633 00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:17,495 and he thinks it's turning me on. 634 00:26:17,615 --> 00:26:19,743 The guy is a menace. 635 00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:21,579 He's a menace. All right. 636 00:26:21,613 --> 00:26:22,947 So, we become more of a menace. 637 00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,248 Hardison, how are we on sales? 638 00:26:24,282 --> 00:26:26,851 Umm... 639 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:29,820 Well, the blogs in Sophie's theater group pimp the demand, 640 00:26:29,855 --> 00:26:32,389 but the parents are buying 52% of their holiday gifts 641 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:33,824 on the Internet. 642 00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:36,593 Okay, so, we have to up Baby Feels-A-Lot's online appeal. 643 00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:37,662 Yeah, presales. Yes. 644 00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,231 And then when the sales go through the roof, 645 00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:40,561 Hazlit is gonna want to buy in. 646 00:26:40,681 --> 00:26:43,570 So, we set up a meeting with him and the owner of... 647 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:46,641 Lucky Beans Toys. 648 00:26:46,676 --> 00:26:48,010 Yes, me. 649 00:26:48,044 --> 00:26:49,881 - All right. - What? 650 00:26:49,915 --> 00:26:52,284 Nothing. 651 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,153 Okay? 652 00:26:56,424 --> 00:26:59,328 Well, it's just... I was talking to Parker, 653 00:26:59,362 --> 00:27:00,863 and, I mean, we're a little down about Christmas. 654 00:27:00,897 --> 00:27:02,063 We think... we're... 655 00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:04,602 Kind of ruining the holiday or something. 656 00:27:04,636 --> 00:27:06,804 Hardison, Christmas was pre-ruined. 657 00:27:06,838 --> 00:27:08,805 You know how it began? 658 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,805 No. Shh. 659 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,640 Yeah, it was a fat guy in a chimney. 660 00:27:12,675 --> 00:27:14,343 Christmas began as a pagan, pre-Roman feast 661 00:27:14,378 --> 00:27:16,812 involving the sacrifice of children. 662 00:27:18,212 --> 00:27:19,779 Ho-ho-ho. 663 00:27:19,814 --> 00:27:22,383 Is he serious? 664 00:27:23,254 --> 00:27:25,954 I mean, dang, I feel like I just got sucker-punched 665 00:27:25,988 --> 00:27:27,391 by an elf-hating, scrooge-loving, 666 00:27:27,425 --> 00:27:29,327 no-gift-giving anti-claus. 667 00:27:29,362 --> 00:27:33,066 I mean, am I bleeding? 668 00:27:33,100 --> 00:27:34,600 Little bit. 669 00:27:35,969 --> 00:27:39,938 Sir, this Baby Feels-A-Lot craze isn't going away. 670 00:27:39,973 --> 00:27:41,640 What do you mean? We killed it. 671 00:27:41,674 --> 00:27:43,675 Well, the toy's generating so much buzz 672 00:27:43,710 --> 00:27:47,279 that it's already ranked 5th on the NPD charts for web presales. 673 00:27:47,312 --> 00:27:48,646 Ahead of Chubby Snubby? 674 00:27:48,681 --> 00:27:50,582 Two days Max before it hits the top spot. 675 00:27:50,616 --> 00:27:52,416 People are pre-ordering it like crazy, 676 00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,717 and it hasn't even hit a single store shelf yet. 677 00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:55,885 It's just gone viral, boss. 678 00:27:57,486 --> 00:28:01,456 I want a sit-down with this Baby Feels-So-Hot woman, 679 00:28:01,490 --> 00:28:02,956 and I want it now. 680 00:28:02,991 --> 00:28:05,424 Go. 681 00:28:08,630 --> 00:28:12,100 So, you take away Baby Feels-A-Lot's shelf space 682 00:28:12,135 --> 00:28:14,371 and then take me out for drinks. 683 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,307 Maybe I was wrong... 684 00:28:17,342 --> 00:28:20,174 Underestimating Baby Feels-A-Lot. 685 00:28:20,209 --> 00:28:21,176 Oh? 686 00:28:21,210 --> 00:28:23,146 I'm a sensible businessman. 687 00:28:23,181 --> 00:28:24,582 Let me meet the owner. 688 00:28:24,616 --> 00:28:26,115 You be my back channel. 689 00:28:26,149 --> 00:28:28,713 Maybe you and I can... do business. 690 00:28:28,747 --> 00:28:30,448 What's in it for me? 691 00:28:30,483 --> 00:28:34,185 You make a move on Baby Feels-A-Lot, I'm out of a job. 692 00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:36,820 Quarter-point of the gross on the deal... 693 00:28:36,854 --> 00:28:39,557 Compensates you well. 694 00:28:39,591 --> 00:28:43,695 Enticing, but... I have to warn you about Earl Greipal, 695 00:28:43,729 --> 00:28:45,929 the owner of Lucky Beans. 696 00:28:45,963 --> 00:28:49,531 He's... well, let's say he's somewhat eccentric, 697 00:28:49,565 --> 00:28:52,932 and he's very hostile to selling his company. 698 00:28:52,967 --> 00:28:55,001 Most of these indie toy guys are frigging nuts... 699 00:28:55,035 --> 00:28:56,538 That is, until they see the number of zeroes 700 00:28:56,572 --> 00:28:57,707 I put on a check. 701 00:28:57,741 --> 00:29:00,211 Half a point of the gross, 21k as a finder's fee, 702 00:29:00,246 --> 00:29:04,782 and a V.P. position at Poggio Toys... that's what I want. 703 00:29:04,816 --> 00:29:07,184 God, you're good. 704 00:29:08,619 --> 00:29:09,920 Deal. 705 00:29:09,954 --> 00:29:13,956 By the way, you available? 706 00:29:13,991 --> 00:29:15,725 No, I'm married. 707 00:29:15,759 --> 00:29:19,130 You see, I didn't ask you that. 708 00:29:19,164 --> 00:29:23,936 Let's stick to business, for now, Trent. 709 00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:31,545 "For now." 710 00:29:36,484 --> 00:29:38,988 Hazlit's on the hook for Baby Feels-A-Lot. 711 00:29:39,022 --> 00:29:40,524 Damn, girl, you were right all along. 712 00:29:40,558 --> 00:29:41,959 That toy does have legs. 713 00:29:41,993 --> 00:29:44,294 And you doubted me just like the rest of them. 714 00:29:44,329 --> 00:29:45,930 Me? No. 715 00:29:45,964 --> 00:29:48,264 I would... I wouldn't do that. 716 00:29:50,399 --> 00:29:52,301 Mm-hmm. Yep. 717 00:29:52,335 --> 00:29:53,869 Hello. Lucky Bean Toys? 718 00:29:53,903 --> 00:29:56,369 This is Charlotte Gerrard, fire chief. 719 00:29:56,403 --> 00:30:01,710 Our machines detected a severe gas leak in one of your company buildings. 720 00:30:01,744 --> 00:30:04,344 Yes, that's the one... the one you have. 721 00:30:04,379 --> 00:30:05,779 That company building. 722 00:30:05,813 --> 00:30:07,080 Yes. 723 00:30:07,114 --> 00:30:10,517 Yes, you need to evacuate everyone immediately. 724 00:30:10,551 --> 00:30:11,917 I said "everyone"! 725 00:30:13,553 --> 00:30:15,155 Think that'll do it? 726 00:30:15,190 --> 00:30:16,157 Yeah, it should. 727 00:30:16,191 --> 00:30:17,426 - Yeah. - It should. 728 00:30:17,460 --> 00:30:18,492 I think I scared her a little bit. Did you jump? 729 00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:19,592 - You scared me. - Jumpy. 730 00:30:24,603 --> 00:30:27,335 Well, while I'm baffled... 731 00:30:27,370 --> 00:30:31,476 Delighted by the sudden interest in my toy, 732 00:30:31,510 --> 00:30:35,344 money is not why I designed baby feels-a-lot. 733 00:30:35,379 --> 00:30:36,378 No. 734 00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:40,280 I did it for my son, Nestor, yes... 735 00:30:40,315 --> 00:30:43,114 Who is now in federal prison. 736 00:30:43,148 --> 00:30:44,114 Oh? 737 00:30:44,148 --> 00:30:46,014 Yes, it was a nasty episode 738 00:30:46,048 --> 00:30:48,016 involving horses and men from Tacoma. 739 00:30:48,051 --> 00:30:52,319 Doctors attribute it to Nestor's difficulty growing up, 740 00:30:52,354 --> 00:30:55,820 having emotions, frustration, anger issues. 741 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,854 I see. 742 00:30:56,890 --> 00:30:58,558 Mr. Greipal has often said 743 00:30:58,592 --> 00:31:02,159 that he wished that there had been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot 744 00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:04,427 during Nestor's developmental years. 745 00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:07,297 I wish there had been a toy like Baby Feels-A-Lot 746 00:31:07,331 --> 00:31:11,170 during Nestor's developmental years. 747 00:31:11,205 --> 00:31:13,305 Ah, different times. 748 00:31:13,339 --> 00:31:15,974 So, Mr. Hazlit, you know, experts... 749 00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,913 they can look at data or color schematics 750 00:31:18,947 --> 00:31:22,418 about what children supposedly like or don't like. 751 00:31:22,452 --> 00:31:25,787 But really what they should do is they should... 752 00:31:25,822 --> 00:31:29,559 They should look inside at the child inside themselves. 753 00:31:29,593 --> 00:31:33,797 That's what we intend to do with Baby Feels-A-Lot, Mr. Greipal. 754 00:31:33,831 --> 00:31:36,467 We have an excellent track record... 755 00:31:36,501 --> 00:31:39,371 Yes, okay, but the child within me 756 00:31:39,405 --> 00:31:42,376 is saying that what you intend to do 757 00:31:42,411 --> 00:31:45,211 is ship Nestor's toy off to China 758 00:31:45,245 --> 00:31:49,315 and turn it into some sort of emotional abomination. 759 00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:51,517 You haven't heard my offer. 760 00:31:51,551 --> 00:31:55,852 Well, I'm afraid that no matter how generous your offer is... 761 00:31:58,559 --> 00:32:00,894 The answer is no. 762 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:05,499 Okay. 763 00:32:05,533 --> 00:32:06,934 Fine. 764 00:32:08,938 --> 00:32:10,939 You ask me, Geppetto in there 765 00:32:10,974 --> 00:32:13,673 wants to navel-gaze for the next 10 years, 766 00:32:13,707 --> 00:32:15,074 not sell his company. 767 00:32:15,108 --> 00:32:17,913 Look, you make a very fast, very large offer 768 00:32:17,947 --> 00:32:22,149 before this craze goes nuts, and I promise you he'll bite. 769 00:32:22,184 --> 00:32:24,922 He's odd, yes, but he's not stupid. 770 00:32:24,956 --> 00:32:29,328 I know that you corporate guys like to move slowly, you know, 771 00:32:29,362 --> 00:32:32,230 while lawyers poke around for months, 772 00:32:32,264 --> 00:32:35,933 but if Greipal gets hinky, this thing is all over. 773 00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:38,668 Give me the sample of the toy. 774 00:32:38,703 --> 00:32:39,969 I want to run a safety study. 775 00:32:40,003 --> 00:32:42,505 Well, don't we just fudge the safety numbers down the road 776 00:32:42,539 --> 00:32:43,539 if we have to? 777 00:32:43,574 --> 00:32:47,479 Ohh, we could be so great together. 778 00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:51,219 I'll overnight an expedited study... my company's license. 779 00:32:51,253 --> 00:32:53,789 Whatever the results, call me tomorrow with Greipal's price. 780 00:32:55,191 --> 00:33:00,394 I'll be as gentle as if I was holding your... 781 00:33:00,428 --> 00:33:02,896 Don't... say it. 782 00:33:04,129 --> 00:33:06,030 I'll see you tomorrow. 783 00:33:14,008 --> 00:33:16,142 I need this expedited A.S.A.P. 784 00:33:16,177 --> 00:33:18,777 Tell Wiggins it's for Trent Hazlit, 785 00:33:18,811 --> 00:33:22,013 and I want the 12-hour turnaround for Poggio. 786 00:33:22,048 --> 00:33:25,314 Manufacturing license and medallion? 787 00:33:25,349 --> 00:33:28,654 It's all... Right in there. 788 00:33:33,128 --> 00:33:34,795 Hazlit? 789 00:33:34,830 --> 00:33:36,296 - Mm? - Good news. 790 00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:38,364 I have a figure for you. 791 00:33:38,398 --> 00:33:40,467 - He was a bit hesitant at first, but I... - Let me stop you. 792 00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:43,671 I have no interest in buying the doll or Mr. Greipal's company. 793 00:33:43,706 --> 00:33:44,706 Why not? 794 00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:45,807 Only reason I did the safety study 795 00:33:45,841 --> 00:33:47,341 was to get the toy's specs. 796 00:33:47,376 --> 00:33:48,442 What for? 797 00:33:48,477 --> 00:33:50,245 To release a knock-off that'll undercut 798 00:33:50,279 --> 00:33:51,980 the Baby Feels-A-Lot's price point by 40%. 799 00:33:52,014 --> 00:33:57,818 In fact, I plan to mention Baby Happy Mad... nice, huh?... 800 00:33:57,853 --> 00:34:00,322 This afternoon at my press conference 801 00:34:00,356 --> 00:34:01,791 for Chubby Snubby dog. 802 00:34:01,825 --> 00:34:03,862 So, thanks for the free buzz. 803 00:34:03,896 --> 00:34:06,364 Your knock-off will never replace 804 00:34:06,398 --> 00:34:08,466 the real Baby Feels-A-Lot. 805 00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:10,637 Listen, darling... 806 00:34:10,671 --> 00:34:14,476 I got three floors of highly paid fungineers 807 00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:17,879 who are already amping up the happiness factor on that doll 808 00:34:17,914 --> 00:34:19,682 like you would not believe. 809 00:34:19,716 --> 00:34:22,720 Mr. Greipal might make toys with love on the inside, 810 00:34:22,754 --> 00:34:25,823 but mine are made with petroleum-based plastics 811 00:34:25,857 --> 00:34:27,091 and the blood, sweat, and tears 812 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,226 of third-world 11-year-olds. 813 00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:30,561 You can't beat it. 814 00:34:30,595 --> 00:34:33,865 So, come on, help me celebrate. 815 00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,566 You are a... 816 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,406 The male version of you. 817 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,574 Come on. 818 00:34:40,609 --> 00:34:44,677 Who doesn't dream of dating themselves, right? 819 00:35:01,661 --> 00:35:05,432 "Chubby Snubby is the future of our company." 820 00:35:05,466 --> 00:35:07,468 "Chubby Snubby is the future of our company." 821 00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:09,304 Can you feel the energy out there, sir? 822 00:35:09,338 --> 00:35:10,439 This is gonna be big. 823 00:35:10,474 --> 00:35:11,507 "The energy out there." 824 00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:13,208 It's not about the energy out there. 825 00:35:13,243 --> 00:35:14,710 It's about the energy in here. 826 00:35:14,745 --> 00:35:16,381 This is about Trent Hazlit. 827 00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:17,750 Oh, right, right. 828 00:35:17,784 --> 00:35:20,355 So, go out there and give them a big, old bag of Trent. 829 00:35:21,626 --> 00:35:23,060 Shut up. 830 00:35:23,094 --> 00:35:24,894 There he is. Mr. Hazlit! Mr. Hazlit! 831 00:35:24,928 --> 00:35:27,565 I'll take questions after the launch celebration. 832 00:35:27,599 --> 00:35:31,733 So, you're treating this Chubby Snubby toy dog recall as a celebration? 833 00:35:31,768 --> 00:35:33,302 Recall? What are you talking about? 834 00:35:33,336 --> 00:35:34,904 Well, surely there will be a recall after the government 835 00:35:34,938 --> 00:35:37,273 released the failed safety study this morning. 836 00:35:37,307 --> 00:35:38,775 Government? 837 00:35:39,977 --> 00:35:41,577 I never submitted any study to the government. 838 00:35:41,612 --> 00:35:43,781 I need this expedited A.S.A.P. 839 00:35:43,816 --> 00:35:46,351 Tell Wiggins it's for Trent Hazlit, 840 00:35:46,386 --> 00:35:49,524 and I want the 12-hour turnaround for Poggio. 841 00:35:49,558 --> 00:35:52,661 Manufacturing license and medallion? 842 00:35:52,695 --> 00:35:56,494 It's all... right in there. 843 00:36:00,596 --> 00:36:02,959 Want to know who regulates toy safety in this country? 844 00:36:02,993 --> 00:36:04,026 The toy companies. 845 00:36:04,060 --> 00:36:05,194 What about government? 846 00:36:05,228 --> 00:36:07,497 Consumer Product Safety Commission. 847 00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:08,532 They try. 848 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,400 They're a solid government agency, 849 00:36:10,435 --> 00:36:12,504 but safety studies are voluntary, 850 00:36:12,538 --> 00:36:14,808 so certain companies just won't take that risk 851 00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,710 because if a toy is found hazardous, 852 00:36:16,744 --> 00:36:18,312 they have to make it public. 853 00:36:19,549 --> 00:36:20,549 - Can I he you? - Hi. 854 00:36:20,583 --> 00:36:21,784 I need an expedited, 855 00:36:21,818 --> 00:36:23,420 overnight government safety inspection of this. 856 00:36:23,454 --> 00:36:24,422 Mm-hmm. 857 00:36:24,456 --> 00:36:26,793 Relevant forms, my signature. 858 00:36:26,828 --> 00:36:28,776 And make sure to run it through your strictest, 859 00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:30,766 most rigorous tests. 860 00:36:30,801 --> 00:36:31,901 Okay. 861 00:36:42,048 --> 00:36:43,048 Everything okay, Carl? 862 00:36:43,082 --> 00:36:44,485 Your call sounded like something was wrong. 863 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,056 No, actually, a fan of mine sent me this safety study, 864 00:36:47,090 --> 00:36:48,559 and I find it very alarming. 865 00:36:48,593 --> 00:36:50,628 I think that we should get this out there, 866 00:36:50,663 --> 00:36:52,765 and we should let the parents know about it. 867 00:36:52,799 --> 00:36:54,736 Is there any way that you could, uh, maybe help me with that? 868 00:36:54,770 --> 00:36:56,439 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 869 00:36:56,473 --> 00:36:59,006 Okay. We are so all over this. 870 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,173 Okay. Thank you so much. 871 00:37:01,207 --> 00:37:02,208 Mm. 872 00:37:04,647 --> 00:37:05,915 What the hell's going on here? 873 00:37:05,950 --> 00:37:07,618 Do you care to comment on the recall, sir? 874 00:37:07,652 --> 00:37:08,853 No, I don't care to comment. 875 00:37:08,887 --> 00:37:11,156 I have no idea what happened here. 876 00:37:12,359 --> 00:37:15,497 I am gonna sue your ass, Hazlit! 877 00:37:17,967 --> 00:37:20,434 Who did this to me? 878 00:37:38,085 --> 00:37:40,461 I can't believe you did it. 879 00:37:40,496 --> 00:37:43,398 I wish there were more people like you out there. 880 00:37:43,434 --> 00:37:44,435 You did it, Mr. Marris. 881 00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:45,537 Yeah. 882 00:37:45,571 --> 00:37:47,473 Without you, Hazlit would still be around. 883 00:37:47,508 --> 00:37:49,108 I was just doing my job. 884 00:37:49,143 --> 00:37:50,678 Well, speaking of jobs, 885 00:37:50,712 --> 00:37:53,751 the chief examiner's looking for a new analyst. 886 00:37:53,785 --> 00:37:54,853 Chief examiner? 887 00:37:54,887 --> 00:37:56,789 For the Consumer Product Safety Commission. 888 00:37:56,823 --> 00:37:59,025 When he found out that he could hire the guy 889 00:37:59,059 --> 00:38:01,329 that took down Hazlit, he jumped at it. 890 00:38:01,364 --> 00:38:04,068 I-I don't know what to say. 891 00:38:04,102 --> 00:38:05,902 I can't thank you enough. 892 00:38:05,936 --> 00:38:08,972 W... Merry Christmas. 893 00:38:10,575 --> 00:38:13,411 Merry Christmas. 894 00:38:13,444 --> 00:38:15,945 Promise me those things will never hit store shelves. 895 00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:17,815 Nah, I'm keeping them all to myself. 896 00:38:17,850 --> 00:38:19,720 I've got them lined up in my warehouse 897 00:38:19,754 --> 00:38:21,289 like an army of joy and rage. 898 00:38:21,324 --> 00:38:24,226 You don't ever want to be in that warehouse alone. 899 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,595 Ever. 900 00:38:25,629 --> 00:38:29,863 I think it's really sad that we're so cynical about gifts. 901 00:38:29,897 --> 00:38:31,833 I used to 902 00:38:31,868 --> 00:38:34,234 I loved Christmas as a child. 903 00:38:34,269 --> 00:38:35,801 Yeah, well, nothing's genuine anymore. 904 00:38:35,835 --> 00:38:36,802 That's not true. 905 00:38:36,836 --> 00:38:37,969 No. I've been thinking about this. 906 00:38:38,003 --> 00:38:40,500 And you know what is genuine? 907 00:38:40,534 --> 00:38:41,967 - Trust. - Trust? 908 00:38:42,002 --> 00:38:43,034 Yes, trust. 909 00:38:44,336 --> 00:38:46,270 I think... no, seriously. 910 00:38:46,304 --> 00:38:50,209 I think we should give each other some trust for Christmas. 911 00:38:50,243 --> 00:38:51,345 What, like that willow exercise 912 00:38:51,379 --> 00:38:52,880 where you fall back and someone catches you? 913 00:38:52,915 --> 00:38:54,448 No, not like that. 914 00:38:54,483 --> 00:38:56,617 Good, because I did that once, and I dropped the person, 915 00:38:56,651 --> 00:38:57,751 and they had to get stitches. 916 00:38:57,785 --> 00:38:58,785 Still hurts. 917 00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:00,655 I know. 918 00:39:00,689 --> 00:39:01,889 I just think that, well, 919 00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:03,655 we've been through so much together, all of us, 920 00:39:03,690 --> 00:39:06,325 and we should give each other something really personal this year, 921 00:39:06,359 --> 00:39:11,231 like, um, I don't know, a story or a secret. 922 00:39:11,265 --> 00:39:12,299 No, come on. 923 00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:13,300 Bear with me, please. 924 00:39:13,335 --> 00:39:15,268 Please. 925 00:39:15,302 --> 00:39:16,904 Who's gonna go first? 926 00:39:18,507 --> 00:39:19,974 Eliot. 927 00:39:20,008 --> 00:39:22,308 All right. 928 00:39:22,343 --> 00:39:27,881 When I was a kid, I wanted a trumpet one Christmas. 929 00:39:30,921 --> 00:39:33,555 My father played Sinatra all the time, 930 00:39:33,589 --> 00:39:37,462 and Sinatra had this trumpet player named "Sweets" Edison... 931 00:39:37,496 --> 00:39:38,997 Harry "Sweets" Edison. 932 00:39:39,031 --> 00:39:40,797 Great sound... amazing. 933 00:39:40,832 --> 00:39:43,332 I wanted to sound just like him, you know? 934 00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:46,572 Christmas rolled around, and, uh, there was no trumpet... 935 00:39:46,606 --> 00:39:48,771 Just a pack of, uh, baseball cards. 936 00:39:48,806 --> 00:39:50,637 Well, my father said that Santa 937 00:39:50,671 --> 00:39:53,206 must have had a rough year at the track. 938 00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:54,207 So, there's... 939 00:39:54,242 --> 00:39:56,311 Anyway, a couple of days later, 940 00:39:56,345 --> 00:39:59,748 I wake up in my bed, and at the foot of the bed is... 941 00:39:59,783 --> 00:40:00,916 Is a trumpet. 942 00:40:00,950 --> 00:40:03,484 I mean, it's all tarnished and dinged up... 943 00:40:03,518 --> 00:40:09,490 My dad probably rolled somebody for it, but there it is. 944 00:40:09,524 --> 00:40:15,362 And I, uh, I played that trumpet every day for 10 years. 945 00:40:15,396 --> 00:40:17,829 You know, I never... 946 00:40:17,864 --> 00:40:22,068 I never, uh, ended up sounding like "Sweets" Edison, 947 00:40:22,103 --> 00:40:24,500 but... 948 00:40:24,535 --> 00:40:30,506 So, I gave it to, um, I gave it to Sam... 949 00:40:30,540 --> 00:40:33,840 On his 8th birthday. 950 00:40:36,648 --> 00:40:39,450 And that was, um... 951 00:40:42,355 --> 00:40:47,056 His, um, first trumpet lesson was scheduled for the day, 952 00:40:47,090 --> 00:40:51,225 as it turns out, that he went into the hospital. 953 00:40:51,259 --> 00:40:54,324 And I... so, he... 954 00:40:59,733 --> 00:41:02,799 I don't have anything left... 955 00:41:02,834 --> 00:41:07,272 from my childhood, but I did keep the trumpet. 956 00:41:07,307 --> 00:41:09,506 I keep it on the boat. 957 00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:20,551 Okay, who's next?