1 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,470 Hey. 2 00:00:12,538 --> 00:00:13,905 Hi. 3 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,606 Hey. 4 00:00:15,674 --> 00:00:18,309 Come back to bed and snuggle with me. 5 00:00:18,377 --> 00:00:22,547 Oh... I wish I could, but I got to go to work. 6 00:00:22,614 --> 00:00:24,348 But there's cab fare on the nightstand. 7 00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:26,651 That's the third morning in a row you've done that. 8 00:00:26,718 --> 00:00:28,052 We're married. 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,088 I'm already home, silly. 10 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,122 Right. You're here. 11 00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:32,390 We're married, and that's cool. 12 00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:33,357 I'm psyched, dude. 13 00:00:33,425 --> 00:00:34,125 That's great. 14 00:00:34,193 --> 00:00:35,326 So you're... Yeah, okay. 15 00:00:35,394 --> 00:00:38,062 Well, you know, you could use the cab fare though to get to work. 16 00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:39,230 Oh, I don't work. 17 00:00:39,298 --> 00:00:40,031 Oh, oh, okay. 18 00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:41,933 I just thought maybe you weren't going to work recently because 19 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,668 we were going through a little bit of a honeymoon phase. 20 00:00:43,735 --> 00:00:45,636 But you're saying that you don't have a job. 21 00:00:45,704 --> 00:00:46,404 No job. 22 00:00:46,472 --> 00:00:48,139 No job at all? Wow. 23 00:00:48,207 --> 00:00:49,340 All yours. 24 00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:50,808 All mine. 25 00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,076 All mine all the time. 26 00:00:52,144 --> 00:00:53,211 All the time. 27 00:00:53,278 --> 00:00:54,745 Okay. Except on my work days. 28 00:00:54,813 --> 00:00:58,483 I do have to go to work, you know, so... That's cool, though. 29 00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:00,852 You can just hang out here, I guess, and sort of get used to 30 00:01:00,919 --> 00:01:03,688 the lay of the land or whatever... Although, don't-don't go 31 00:01:03,755 --> 00:01:04,589 snooping around too much. 32 00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:06,424 'Cause this has all happened really fast and I really 33 00:01:06,492 --> 00:01:08,559 haven't had time to do a pass yet. 34 00:01:08,627 --> 00:01:10,261 Don't-don't look in those drawers. 35 00:01:10,329 --> 00:01:11,562 What's in those drawers? 36 00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,331 My sex tapes. 37 00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:13,998 Yeah. 38 00:01:14,066 --> 00:01:15,366 All right, I got to go to work. 39 00:01:15,434 --> 00:01:17,702 I love you. 40 00:01:17,769 --> 00:01:21,038 I love you, too, Maureen. 41 00:01:29,181 --> 00:01:39,114 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 42 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:47,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 43 00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:04,893 Okay, look, dude, all I'm saying is that you 44 00:02:04,961 --> 00:02:07,896 started off our domestic partnership on some very shaky, 45 00:02:07,964 --> 00:02:09,497 very bullshitty ground, dude. 46 00:02:09,565 --> 00:02:13,001 And I'm saying, Charlie, you should get over it, move on. 47 00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:15,237 You signed the prenup, case closed. 48 00:02:15,304 --> 00:02:17,239 You told me it was the phone bill, man. 49 00:02:17,306 --> 00:02:19,307 Of course I signed it. 50 00:02:19,308 --> 00:02:22,877 Why would you think that you needed to sign a phone bill. 51 00:02:22,945 --> 00:02:26,548 I can't keep track of our financial comings and goings. 52 00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:30,352 When he hands me something to sign and it's about money and papers, I sign it. 53 00:02:30,419 --> 00:02:31,853 Hey-oh. 54 00:02:31,921 --> 00:02:34,289 Look who got a brand-new car. 55 00:02:34,357 --> 00:02:36,691 I'm still a little bit confused as to why in the hell 56 00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:38,927 you two got married in the first place. 57 00:02:38,995 --> 00:02:42,464 Charlie, gets health insurance and I get diddly-squat. 58 00:02:42,531 --> 00:02:43,398 He's gonna get some perks. 59 00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:44,366 He doesn't trust me. 60 00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:46,501 Hey, why in the hell are you bathing yourself in the sink? 61 00:02:46,569 --> 00:02:48,570 Because I don't have a home anymore. 62 00:02:48,638 --> 00:02:50,305 So this is where I take a shower. 63 00:02:50,373 --> 00:02:51,406 This is where I live, Dennis. 64 00:02:52,642 --> 00:02:54,009 Texting me again. 65 00:02:54,076 --> 00:02:54,976 This is pathetic. 66 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,244 Back me up on this, Dennis. 67 00:02:56,312 --> 00:02:58,747 You got a prenup with Maureen, right? 68 00:02:58,814 --> 00:03:00,181 Uh, no, I did not. 69 00:03:00,249 --> 00:03:01,082 Should I have? 70 00:03:02,385 --> 00:03:03,618 Should you have? 71 00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:04,919 You are screwed. 72 00:03:04,987 --> 00:03:06,288 Typical. 73 00:03:06,355 --> 00:03:07,956 This is so typical. 74 00:03:08,024 --> 00:03:10,492 My God, Dee, you clearly have something you want to say. 75 00:03:10,559 --> 00:03:11,926 So let's just get it over with. 76 00:03:11,994 --> 00:03:12,761 Oh, no. 77 00:03:12,828 --> 00:03:13,795 No, it's no big deal. 78 00:03:13,863 --> 00:03:16,698 It's just Bill Ponderosa is like obsessed with me now or something. 79 00:03:16,766 --> 00:03:18,533 I don't know, he's texting me all the time. 80 00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:19,367 He calls me, like, nonstop. 81 00:03:19,435 --> 00:03:20,735 He bought me a new car. 82 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:25,040 Dee, are you seriously bragging about sleeping with a married man? 83 00:03:25,107 --> 00:03:27,442 Yeah, one second you're on your high horse about how great 84 00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:29,444 marriage is, and now you're destroying one? 85 00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:31,112 Well, I'm not the one who's married. 86 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:31,913 I didn't do anything wrong. 87 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,214 You let him buy you a car. 88 00:03:33,282 --> 00:03:35,283 Well, Frank, I'm not going to go passing on free cars. 89 00:03:35,351 --> 00:03:38,453 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, all this talk about marriage and 90 00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:42,691 Dee being such a whore has got me thinking... I never got a bachelor party. 91 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:43,725 We should go to the strip club. 92 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:45,727 Right now? 93 00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:47,195 Yeah, immediately. 94 00:03:47,263 --> 00:03:49,497 And since you would have been my best man, you should probably 95 00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:54,769 throw it for me. 96 00:03:54,837 --> 00:03:57,339 Yeah, and I'm still pretty pissed about you not throwing me a bachelor party. 97 00:03:57,406 --> 00:03:59,107 So this way I figure we'll be even. 98 00:03:59,175 --> 00:04:00,342 I'm ready for this. 99 00:04:00,409 --> 00:04:02,744 Being married to Charlie's got me all confused. 100 00:04:02,812 --> 00:04:04,245 I got to get my hetero on. 101 00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:05,947 ♪ Want to get dirty, dirty ♪ 102 00:04:06,015 --> 00:04:08,717 ♪ I'm gonna make your body hot, girl Make you sweat ♪ 103 00:04:08,784 --> 00:04:09,851 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 104 00:04:09,919 --> 00:04:13,655 ♪ I'm gonna give you the time of your life That you'll never forget ♪ 105 00:04:13,723 --> 00:04:15,290 ♪ Mm, mm... ♪ 106 00:04:15,358 --> 00:04:16,358 I like that move. 107 00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:17,125 What is that? 108 00:04:17,193 --> 00:04:17,792 That's it. 109 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:18,460 Motorcycle? 110 00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:19,928 That's pretty... Yeah, not like that, though. 111 00:04:19,995 --> 00:04:22,097 It's pretty good, but you got to use... 112 00:04:22,164 --> 00:04:22,931 ...a little bit more shoulder. 113 00:04:22,998 --> 00:04:24,699 I like the way he's doing it, actually. 114 00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,301 Yeah, 'cause I'm like, I'm bending the bike. 115 00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:28,036 But that's not really how drive a motorcycle. 116 00:04:28,104 --> 00:04:29,871 Yeah, but you're not really driving a motorcycle. 117 00:04:29,939 --> 00:04:30,572 It's my thing, okay? 118 00:04:30,639 --> 00:04:31,239 All right. 119 00:04:31,307 --> 00:04:33,641 Well, if you're not going to take it seriously, then don't... then don't do it. 120 00:04:33,709 --> 00:04:35,043 I feel like I was doing it pretty good. 121 00:04:35,111 --> 00:04:36,511 I feel like you're taking it too seriously. 122 00:04:36,579 --> 00:04:37,312 Let's not fight. 123 00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:37,979 It's a bachelor party. 124 00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,180 Oh, I got a text. 125 00:04:39,248 --> 00:04:40,882 I got a text from the woman. 126 00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:42,183 "Miss you." 127 00:04:42,251 --> 00:04:46,087 I'll just write, "Miss you, too. Miss you, too." 128 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,523 Now do I write the word "too" or should I write the number two? 129 00:04:48,591 --> 00:04:50,725 What's the best way to do that when we're texting back and forth? 130 00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:51,393 Who cares, dude? 131 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:52,961 I'll do the word, I'll do the word. 132 00:04:53,028 --> 00:04:53,995 Okay, great. 133 00:04:54,063 --> 00:04:55,130 Frank, what's with the purse? 134 00:04:55,197 --> 00:04:56,865 It's my money bag. 135 00:04:56,932 --> 00:04:58,733 I'm gonna make it rain, baby. 136 00:04:58,801 --> 00:04:59,868 Whoa, hold on. 137 00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:00,769 Make it rain? 138 00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:02,504 What is that... you gonna chuck money everywhere? 139 00:05:02,571 --> 00:05:03,204 Don't do that. 140 00:05:03,272 --> 00:05:04,372 Will you lighten up? 141 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,273 I'd like to make it rain. 142 00:05:05,341 --> 00:05:06,374 Can I make it rain, Mac? 143 00:05:06,442 --> 00:05:07,342 Why are you asking me? 144 00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:09,744 Well, dude, 'cause I can't fund my own bachelor party. 145 00:05:09,812 --> 00:05:11,012 That's just tacky. 146 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,947 Fine. 147 00:05:13,015 --> 00:05:14,749 Excuse me. Hi. 148 00:05:14,817 --> 00:05:15,683 Hi. 149 00:05:15,751 --> 00:05:18,620 What is the recommended amount of money for one to make it rain? 150 00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:19,788 I'd say at least a thousand. 151 00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:24,526 How much would it cost for this gentleman and I to get a nice couple's dance? 152 00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:26,828 Sorry. You have to be a couple for that. 153 00:05:26,896 --> 00:05:28,062 We are a couple. 154 00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:29,564 Charlie, documents. 155 00:05:29,632 --> 00:05:31,399 All right, this is what it was all for. 156 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,700 Mm-hmm. 157 00:05:32,768 --> 00:05:34,469 Look at this... we're married. 158 00:05:34,537 --> 00:05:36,805 Oh, you guys are cute. 159 00:05:36,872 --> 00:05:39,174 You're still going to have to pay full price. 160 00:05:39,241 --> 00:05:40,108 Screw this. 161 00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:41,443 I'm gonna go make it rain. 162 00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:43,011 All right, well, hang on a second. 163 00:05:43,078 --> 00:05:43,978 Give me some money. 164 00:05:44,046 --> 00:05:45,880 Let's go, I'm your husband. 165 00:05:45,948 --> 00:05:47,882 Give me some money. 166 00:05:47,950 --> 00:05:50,418 ♪ Ooh, don't say maybe... ♪ 167 00:05:50,486 --> 00:05:51,586 There it is. 168 00:05:51,654 --> 00:05:52,520 What is this? 169 00:05:52,588 --> 00:05:54,756 I'm tightening the purse strings on this relationship 170 00:05:54,824 --> 00:05:56,925 until there's a little bit of give and take. 171 00:05:56,992 --> 00:05:58,259 You know what, keep your money. 172 00:05:58,327 --> 00:05:59,861 I don't need your little allowance. 173 00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:00,795 Hey, we'll see. 174 00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:03,665 "Miss you more." 175 00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:05,767 That's classic Maureen right there. 176 00:06:05,835 --> 00:06:13,942 She's always got to one-up me "Miss you most." 177 00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:16,744 Most... can't get more than most, right? 178 00:06:16,812 --> 00:06:18,947 So that should... that should be the end of it, right? 179 00:06:19,014 --> 00:06:20,949 So, I hope so. 180 00:06:25,888 --> 00:06:27,055 Oh, man. 181 00:06:27,122 --> 00:06:28,590 You just cannot get enough, huh? 182 00:06:28,657 --> 00:06:31,159 Sorry for just showing up, you know, but you weren't 183 00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:32,260 responding to my texts. 184 00:06:32,328 --> 00:06:33,595 Oh, I totally get it. 185 00:06:33,662 --> 00:06:35,964 Once you pop, you can't stop, am I right? 186 00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:39,234 Actually, I came clean to my wife. 187 00:06:39,301 --> 00:06:40,935 And she kicked me out of the house. 188 00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:42,136 Ew. Ouch. 189 00:06:42,204 --> 00:06:42,871 Yeah. 190 00:06:42,938 --> 00:06:44,806 Bet you wish you could take that one back. 191 00:06:44,874 --> 00:06:46,975 So I was thinking, maybe I could stay here tonight. 192 00:06:47,042 --> 00:06:47,809 Oh. 193 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:49,744 You are somewhat responsible for this. 194 00:06:49,812 --> 00:06:51,613 No. No, no, no, no. 195 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,448 Can't you stay in a hotel or something. Isn't that...? 196 00:06:53,516 --> 00:06:56,117 I would, but she froze my assets. 197 00:06:56,185 --> 00:06:57,385 Yikes. 198 00:06:57,453 --> 00:06:59,787 Shit's getting pretty real for you, huh? 199 00:06:59,855 --> 00:07:04,325 But nonetheless, uh, I really, like I said, I don't want you in my space. 200 00:07:04,393 --> 00:07:06,861 So there's got to be a lot of other places that you could stay 201 00:07:06,929 --> 00:07:08,930 that aren't, you know, here. 202 00:07:08,998 --> 00:07:10,732 Dee, I gave you a car. 203 00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:13,568 You're gonna jam the car in my face, huh? 204 00:07:13,636 --> 00:07:16,104 Come in. 205 00:07:18,407 --> 00:07:20,308 Thanks. 206 00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:28,483 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ 207 00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:31,486 ♪ The boys are back in town... ♪ 208 00:07:38,627 --> 00:07:41,296 ♪ The boys are back in town! ♪ 209 00:07:41,363 --> 00:07:43,264 Whoo! 210 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:43,932 Dennis! 211 00:07:43,999 --> 00:07:46,901 Hey... Hey... What are you doing? 212 00:07:46,969 --> 00:07:48,736 It is 2:00 in the morning. 213 00:07:48,804 --> 00:07:50,371 I was sleeping, Dennis. 214 00:07:50,439 --> 00:07:51,172 That's cool. 215 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,841 Well, you're up now, baby girl, so let's do some shots. 216 00:07:53,909 --> 00:07:54,943 No, I don't drink. 217 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:55,944 You know that. 218 00:07:56,011 --> 00:07:57,879 I think it makes people look ugly. 219 00:07:57,947 --> 00:08:01,149 I... Maybe I should go to my room. 220 00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:02,650 That is not your room anymore. 221 00:08:02,718 --> 00:08:05,620 It is my craft studio, so kindly stay out of there. 222 00:08:05,688 --> 00:08:06,287 What?! 223 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,689 Don't freak out, dude. 224 00:08:07,756 --> 00:08:08,590 It's all good, dude. 225 00:08:08,657 --> 00:08:11,059 She turned it into her craft studio where she makes terrible 226 00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:13,995 sweatshirts out of cats or... puts cats in sweatshirts, and then... 227 00:08:14,063 --> 00:08:16,197 I'm, like, "Dude, what the hell did you do?" 228 00:08:16,265 --> 00:08:18,399 Dennis, do not talk to me that way. 229 00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:19,167 I am your wife. 230 00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:21,336 Please show me some respect in front of your friends. 231 00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:22,503 Uh, you know what? 232 00:08:22,571 --> 00:08:29,744 I'm not entirely certain that Maureen Ponderosa. 233 00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:32,280 That doesn't even... I don't know what that... What? 234 00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:32,947 Divorce! 235 00:08:33,015 --> 00:08:34,616 What? What did you just say? 236 00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:36,884 I will divorce you, Maureen. 237 00:08:36,952 --> 00:08:37,619 I'll do it. 238 00:08:37,686 --> 00:08:38,553 Okay, you're drunk. 239 00:08:38,621 --> 00:08:40,121 Why don't we just go to bed...? 240 00:08:40,189 --> 00:08:41,222 I'm not drunk. 241 00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:44,726 I'm more sober than I've ever been in my entire life. 242 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:47,795 Okay, I'm a little bit drink. 243 00:08:47,863 --> 00:08:49,864 I'm totally drunk, but my mind is sober. 244 00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:53,101 And my mind's telling me the following: I don't love you, Maureen. 245 00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,235 I don't love you. 246 00:08:54,303 --> 00:08:55,536 I never loved you. 247 00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:57,605 You're annoying and you're strange. 248 00:08:57,673 --> 00:08:59,374 I don't know what to say. 249 00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:02,477 Don't say anything 'cause every time you open your mouth, I'm, like, "Ugh!" 250 00:09:02,544 --> 00:09:03,845 It's like her breath... Ugh! 251 00:09:03,912 --> 00:09:06,180 It's like always so bad. 252 00:09:06,248 --> 00:09:07,415 It's like a dead tooth. 253 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:08,182 It's the dead tooth. 254 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,517 I'm saying it now. I'll say it. 255 00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:10,485 You have a dead tooth. 256 00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:11,319 You realize that, right? 257 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:14,088 And I hate it, and it's annoying! 258 00:09:14,156 --> 00:09:19,193 I want you and your boy toy out of my apartment now! 259 00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:21,596 I'm the boy toy! 260 00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:23,231 You're my boy toy. 261 00:09:23,298 --> 00:09:27,268 You know, I'm not gonna leave our apartment. 262 00:09:27,336 --> 00:09:28,970 Or should I say "my apartment," 263 00:09:29,038 --> 00:09:29,837 'cause it's my apartment. 264 00:09:29,905 --> 00:09:30,872 Oh, yeah? 265 00:09:30,939 --> 00:09:35,343 How about if you guys don't leave, I call the cops and I tell 'em you beat me? 266 00:09:35,411 --> 00:09:37,178 What in the hell are you talking about? 267 00:09:37,246 --> 00:09:41,783 I didn't touch you. 268 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:43,117 What...? What are you doing? 269 00:09:43,185 --> 00:09:43,885 What is that? 270 00:09:43,952 --> 00:09:45,286 I recognize that. What is that? 271 00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:47,655 Oh, shit, that's from... that's from Fear, dude. 272 00:09:47,723 --> 00:09:48,556 Oh, that's Marky Mark. 273 00:09:48,624 --> 00:09:49,490 That's Marky Mark. 274 00:09:49,558 --> 00:09:50,692 That's what Marky Mark does. 275 00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:53,494 He does that, and then, um... Oh, shit, and then the cops 276 00:09:53,562 --> 00:09:55,096 come, and then he... Oh, and the police think that 277 00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:57,131 William Petersen, the guy from CSI... Go. She means business. 278 00:09:57,199 --> 00:09:57,799 She means business. 279 00:09:57,866 --> 00:09:59,801 Shit! Oh, shit! Ah! 280 00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:08,781 Oh, my God! 281 00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:11,918 You are really making yourself at home here, huh? 282 00:10:11,985 --> 00:10:14,654 Sorry. Want to have sex? 283 00:10:14,722 --> 00:10:16,355 What?! No, no! 284 00:10:16,423 --> 00:10:17,190 God, no! 285 00:10:17,257 --> 00:10:18,324 Please close your legs up. 286 00:10:18,392 --> 00:10:21,794 That's... Listen, I don't want to get into your personal life, 287 00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:22,929 you know what I mean? 288 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:27,266 It's not really any of my business, but this is really bumming me out, okay? 289 00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:28,935 So here's what I'd like to do. 290 00:10:29,002 --> 00:10:31,337 I'd like to talk game plan with you, okay? 291 00:10:31,405 --> 00:10:34,941 And, um, number one, and most importantly, uh, the car. 292 00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:35,808 Now hear me out. 293 00:10:35,876 --> 00:10:38,811 It was kinda a gift, so it'd be pretty rude of you to try and... 294 00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:40,780 I don't give a shit about the car, okay? 295 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,447 Mm-hmm. 296 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:42,715 My life is in ruins. 297 00:10:42,783 --> 00:10:43,382 Mm-hmm. 298 00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:44,450 I'm gonna lose my kids. 299 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,018 Okay, great, so we're in agreement. 300 00:10:46,086 --> 00:10:46,919 I keep the car. 301 00:10:46,987 --> 00:10:47,587 That's wonderful. 302 00:10:47,654 --> 00:10:53,326 Now secondly, this is gonna be kind of hard to hear, but, um... get out! 303 00:10:53,393 --> 00:10:55,661 Get out! 304 00:10:55,729 --> 00:10:57,663 You gotta go back to your wife, okay? 305 00:10:57,731 --> 00:10:58,931 And get out of my place. 306 00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:01,768 Okay, well, then I'm gonna need the car to get over there. 307 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,770 Okay, well, the car's off the table, okay? 308 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,139 We just discussed the car, and we came to an agreement that... 309 00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:07,473 Stop bringing up the car, okay? 310 00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:10,343 So I'll get dressed and I'll drive you over there, and I'll drop you off. 311 00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:11,010 Okay. 312 00:11:11,078 --> 00:11:12,044 Okay. Well, get up. 313 00:11:12,112 --> 00:11:14,647 No, oh, God, I don't, I don't... Okay, I'm gonna go in here. 314 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,314 Jesus. 315 00:11:15,382 --> 00:11:18,050 Yeah, you now, I mean, I wouldn't have imagined the whole 316 00:11:18,118 --> 00:11:19,452 thing going down quite the way it did. 317 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,821 It was a little uncomfortable, but I'm glad, you know, we got 318 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:25,158 our little heart-to-heart, or whatever you want to call it, out of the way. 319 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:28,227 I feel like now we can set aside our differences and settle this 320 00:11:28,295 --> 00:11:29,595 whole divorce pretty amicably, you know? 321 00:11:29,663 --> 00:11:31,397 You think it's gonna be that easy, dude? 322 00:11:31,465 --> 00:11:32,932 Well, yeah, of course. 323 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,935 I mean, marriage and divorce these days, it's like a, it's 324 00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:38,137 more of a formality than anything else, you know? 325 00:11:38,205 --> 00:11:40,506 It's just sort of something that you do, right? 326 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,308 Don't start with me, Charlie! 327 00:11:42,376 --> 00:11:43,576 You bring nothing to the table! 328 00:11:43,644 --> 00:11:44,243 Nothing! 329 00:11:44,311 --> 00:11:46,179 Oh! I bring nothing to the table! 330 00:11:46,246 --> 00:11:47,213 This is my money! 331 00:11:47,281 --> 00:11:48,581 You bring nothing! 332 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,720 Frank, okay? 333 00:11:54,788 --> 00:11:57,256 "How did my laundry get so clean? 334 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,292 Oh, oh, who washed all the dishes today?" 335 00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:00,626 Nobody washes the dishes! 336 00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:03,462 We eat the food directly off the coffee table, and you know it! 337 00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:05,031 I cannot stand being married to you! 338 00:12:05,098 --> 00:12:06,365 Oh, you can't stand it? 339 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,200 I'm gonna pull the plug. 340 00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,968 You gonna flush our marriage down the toilet?! 341 00:12:09,036 --> 00:12:09,902 Right down the toilet! 342 00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:10,870 Flush it, big boy! 343 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:11,871 Yes, there he goes! 344 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:13,773 Flush it down the toilet 'cause I don't care! 345 00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:14,440 Oh, yeah? 346 00:12:14,508 --> 00:12:17,043 I'm gonna pull the plug, but first I'm gonna draw up some documents. 347 00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:19,011 All right, this is gonna be an ugly-ass divorce, 348 00:12:19,079 --> 00:12:20,346 and we're gonna get a mediator. 349 00:12:20,414 --> 00:12:21,447 Okay, I got it. 350 00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:23,850 We'll get that idiot lawyer that always helps us out. 351 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:24,884 He does good by us. 352 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:25,751 Yeah, he's excellent. 353 00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,621 But he slapped a restraining order on us, so we can't use him. 354 00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:31,023 Also you need a lawyer, too, so we should talk about it. 355 00:12:31,091 --> 00:12:31,824 I need a lawyer? 356 00:12:31,892 --> 00:12:32,491 For what? 357 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,493 How are you not grasping this situation? 358 00:12:34,561 --> 00:12:36,229 Oh, for the divorce. 359 00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:36,963 The divorce, yeah. 360 00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,331 You're getting a divorce? 361 00:12:38,398 --> 00:12:38,998 Yeah. 362 00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:40,533 All right, sot's going around. 363 00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:43,336 Okay, I think I know someone who'll take both our cases. 364 00:12:43,403 --> 00:12:45,938 Is it you? 365 00:12:46,006 --> 00:12:48,941 Is it? 366 00:12:49,009 --> 00:12:50,543 'Cause if it's you, I'm not interested. 367 00:12:50,611 --> 00:12:52,778 All right, well, I have a family member who's a lawyer. 368 00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:54,780 I bet he'd do it. 369 00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:58,084 It's coming up here. 370 00:12:58,151 --> 00:13:00,853 This... yeah, this is it right here. 371 00:13:00,921 --> 00:13:02,955 The Ponderosas' ponderosa. 372 00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:04,290 Ugh! 373 00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:05,892 Could you wait a minute? 374 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,894 I just want to make sure it's okay. 375 00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:12,198 Yeah, you know, whatever it's gonna take to wrap this up, really. 376 00:13:12,266 --> 00:13:13,299 Whew! 377 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:18,437 Ugh! 378 00:13:24,244 --> 00:13:24,944 Maureen? 379 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:25,945 No, it's Dee. 380 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,513 How are things going on your end? 381 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:28,314 Oh, not bad. 382 00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:28,981 Yeah, not bad. 383 00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:29,649 I'm getting a divorce. 384 00:13:30,384 --> 00:13:31,984 Yeah, I know how that goes. 385 00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,787 I got a messy situation going on on my end, too. 386 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,722 Had to let my guy go. 387 00:13:36,790 --> 00:13:38,157 Had to cut him loose. 388 00:13:38,225 --> 00:13:40,326 I tell you what, though, I do love the car. 389 00:13:40,394 --> 00:13:43,930 Hands-free Blue... I can do all kinds of stuff with both hands. 390 00:13:45,399 --> 00:13:47,233 Dennis? Did we get cut off? 391 00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:48,401 Okay, hop in there. 392 00:13:48,468 --> 00:13:50,036 No! Wha-wha-wha-wha-what is this?! 393 00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:51,170 What are you doing? 394 00:13:51,238 --> 00:13:52,204 Here he comes! 395 00:13:52,272 --> 00:13:53,306 Okay, go, go! Go, go! 396 00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:54,774 What?! Oh, my God! 397 00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:01,852 I'm so glad you called, Charlie. 398 00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:04,087 Your uncle never hears from you anymore. 399 00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:06,690 Well, you're kind of the only actual lawyer I know, you know, 400 00:14:06,757 --> 00:14:08,758 that doesn't have a restraining order against me. 401 00:14:08,826 --> 00:14:11,628 So I sort of had to call you, so... I miss you too, bud. 402 00:14:11,696 --> 00:14:14,397 Uh... with the touching, with the touching... none of that. 403 00:14:14,465 --> 00:14:15,699 You're put off by my hands. 404 00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:17,534 I know they're very small. 405 00:14:17,602 --> 00:14:18,702 It's been very hard on me. 406 00:14:18,769 --> 00:14:20,470 It is not... there's nothing wrong with your hands, okay? 407 00:14:20,538 --> 00:14:21,938 Can we just focus on the law? 408 00:14:22,006 --> 00:14:23,106 Of course. 409 00:14:23,174 --> 00:14:26,109 All right, as far as shared assets, I'm not seeing much. 410 00:14:26,177 --> 00:14:27,244 I'm keeping the hot plate. 411 00:14:27,311 --> 00:14:28,478 Over my dead body. 412 00:14:28,546 --> 00:14:30,147 Hey, hey, hey, easy, boys. 413 00:14:30,214 --> 00:14:32,816 Don't let the dog off the leash, okay? 414 00:14:32,884 --> 00:14:36,386 Remember, the bigger man walks away first. 415 00:14:36,454 --> 00:14:38,155 You can have the hot plate. 416 00:14:38,222 --> 00:14:39,923 Hot dog! 417 00:14:39,991 --> 00:14:41,858 Now we're cooking with gas. 418 00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:43,226 Moving along to art holdings. 419 00:14:43,294 --> 00:14:46,096 All I'm seeing is a series of drawings of elephants. 420 00:14:46,164 --> 00:14:47,964 Hmm... Oh, yeah. 421 00:14:48,032 --> 00:14:50,433 Well, Charlie did the elephant drawings. 422 00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:52,068 Yeah, but... You should keep 'em. 423 00:14:52,136 --> 00:14:53,803 I did those for you, man. 424 00:14:53,871 --> 00:14:54,905 I like 'em. 425 00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:56,173 Well, you should like 'em. 426 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,574 I put a lot of work into 'em. 427 00:14:57,642 --> 00:14:59,876 And thank you for saying you like 'em. 428 00:14:59,944 --> 00:15:02,112 I've seen 'em and I like 'em, too. 429 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:03,079 Yeah, they're good. 430 00:15:03,147 --> 00:15:04,347 I'll keep the drawings, okay? 431 00:15:04,415 --> 00:15:08,451 If I didn't know any better, I'd say there's a lot of love in this room here. 432 00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:10,820 Look, Jack, we just want to get back to where we were. 433 00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:14,191 That's... Sounds like what you guys want is an annulment. 434 00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:17,394 It would essentially void your partnership. 435 00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:19,229 Yeah, right, that sounds perfect. 436 00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:20,263 Marriage blows. 437 00:15:20,331 --> 00:15:21,932 Preaching to the choir, fellas. 438 00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:26,503 All right, I just need both your signatures on here. 439 00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:28,538 All right, that's easy enough. 440 00:15:28,606 --> 00:15:30,840 Easy-peasy. 441 00:15:30,908 --> 00:15:33,376 One... two. 442 00:15:33,444 --> 00:15:34,377 We did it. 443 00:15:34,445 --> 00:15:35,312 That's it. 444 00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:37,781 Your union has hereby been dissolved. 445 00:15:37,848 --> 00:15:40,984 Why did we have to do all the touching and the hand-holding if it was just...? 446 00:15:41,052 --> 00:15:41,785 It was fun. 447 00:15:41,852 --> 00:15:42,752 Hey, Mac. 448 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:45,055 Do you mind snapping a photo for the Web site? 449 00:15:45,122 --> 00:15:46,823 But keep my hands out of the shot. 450 00:15:51,362 --> 00:15:53,496 I just kidnapped Bill Ponderosa's kids. 451 00:15:53,564 --> 00:15:56,132 All right, are the kids confined in any way, maybe in a 452 00:15:56,200 --> 00:16:00,270 crawl space or a backyard bunker? 453 00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,838 No, they're out in the car. 454 00:16:01,906 --> 00:16:03,173 Have you touched them yet? 455 00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:04,274 Absolutely not. 456 00:16:04,342 --> 00:16:05,308 What...? Who is this man? 457 00:16:07,011 --> 00:16:09,512 No, you don't need to... What is she, some cheap tramp... huh? 458 00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:10,447 Oh, no. 459 00:16:10,514 --> 00:16:13,116 Bill, oh, my God, you are such an asshole. 460 00:16:13,184 --> 00:16:14,351 I followed you, okay? 461 00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:16,453 Angel, I... I knew you were seeing someone else. 462 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,722 Honey, that... Hi. Hi, there, I'm Dee. 463 00:16:18,789 --> 00:16:20,190 Uh, I understand that. 464 00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:24,227 Listen, I wanted to say I'm really sorry about the kids. 465 00:16:24,295 --> 00:16:26,730 I tell you what, I did not mean to kidnap them. 466 00:16:26,797 --> 00:16:28,932 That was all... that was all this guy. 467 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,433 Yeah, they're not my kids. 468 00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:31,835 Aren't you his wife? 469 00:16:31,902 --> 00:16:32,969 No. 470 00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:34,170 I'm his mistress. 471 00:16:34,238 --> 00:16:35,305 Well, what the hell, man? 472 00:16:35,373 --> 00:16:36,373 I'm taking my car back. 473 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,407 Nuh-uh. That's my car. 474 00:16:37,475 --> 00:16:39,509 Actually, I loaned it to both of you ladies... 475 00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:40,910 Son of a bitch! 476 00:16:40,978 --> 00:16:42,045 I gonna kill you! 477 00:16:42,113 --> 00:16:44,781 What? How many mistresses do you have? 478 00:16:44,849 --> 00:16:46,116 Mistress? I'm his wife. 479 00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:47,384 Kids, let's go. 480 00:16:47,451 --> 00:16:49,119 Yeah, come on, kids, let's go home. 481 00:16:49,186 --> 00:16:50,353 No, no, no, no, no. 482 00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:51,621 Not you, Bill. 483 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:54,791 Now I want this to be over with right now. 484 00:16:54,859 --> 00:16:56,026 So how much does he owe you? 485 00:16:56,093 --> 00:16:57,160 What? 486 00:16:57,228 --> 00:16:58,728 How much does he owe you, whore? 487 00:16:58,796 --> 00:17:00,563 How much does he owe you for the sex? 488 00:17:00,631 --> 00:17:01,865 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 489 00:17:01,932 --> 00:17:03,199 I'm not a prostitute. 490 00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,268 I think that's... that's clear. 491 00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:07,937 Oh, well, congratulations. 492 00:17:08,005 --> 00:17:11,107 You're the only woman he didn't have to pay to sleep with. 493 00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:13,843 You must be very proud of yourself. 494 00:17:14,745 --> 00:17:15,645 Wait, no, no. 495 00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:17,147 Oh, goddamn it. 496 00:17:19,684 --> 00:17:22,419 Yeah, well. 497 00:17:22,486 --> 00:17:28,591 The, uh, the gravity of my situation just set in, so... Let's go get you a 498 00:17:28,659 --> 00:17:29,259 divorce, huh? 499 00:17:29,327 --> 00:17:30,193 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 500 00:17:30,261 --> 00:17:32,796 Yeah. 501 00:17:32,863 --> 00:17:35,098 You guys have any questions? 502 00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:36,466 Yeah, I got a question. 503 00:17:36,534 --> 00:17:38,034 What's in the fanny pack? 504 00:17:38,102 --> 00:17:42,605 Oh, check this out, Mac and Dennis. 505 00:17:42,673 --> 00:17:44,274 Just a little victory dance. 506 00:17:44,342 --> 00:17:47,077 Thought maybe we could hang out later. 507 00:17:47,144 --> 00:17:49,045 No. 508 00:17:49,113 --> 00:17:51,081 No. 509 00:17:51,148 --> 00:17:53,983 Oh, Mr. Reynolds. 510 00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:56,886 Oh, uh, I'm sorry, what are you doing here? 511 00:17:56,954 --> 00:17:59,589 Well, when I heard you were getting divorced, I-I felt 512 00:17:59,657 --> 00:18:01,991 compelled to involve myself. 513 00:18:02,059 --> 00:18:08,531 I'm sorry, how would you have heard that I was getting a 514 00:18:08,599 --> 00:18:12,202 listening to you drunkenly explain all that at 3:00 a.m. 515 00:18:12,269 --> 00:18:15,338 I enjoyed it so much, that I tracked down Maureen here and I 516 00:18:15,406 --> 00:18:18,908 offered her my services... pro bono, of course. 517 00:18:18,976 --> 00:18:20,910 Hold on, fellas. 518 00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:22,278 I'm Jack Kelly. 519 00:18:22,346 --> 00:18:23,513 I'm a lawyer. 520 00:18:23,581 --> 00:18:25,181 Hello, Jack Kelly. 521 00:18:25,249 --> 00:18:26,816 The pleasure is all mine. 522 00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:28,852 It's a pleasure to meet you. 523 00:18:28,919 --> 00:18:32,722 The pleasure's... still... Why don't we just get started. 524 00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:35,725 Why don't we just get started. 525 00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:45,502 Aw... Boy, the old place, huh? 526 00:18:45,569 --> 00:18:48,638 Some good memories here. 527 00:18:48,706 --> 00:18:50,707 All of us. 528 00:18:50,775 --> 00:18:52,709 Oh, yeah. 529 00:18:55,446 --> 00:19:00,216 Hey, um... So I was like... I'm gonna go, I think... 530 00:19:00,284 --> 00:19:01,551 No, no, no, stick around, dude. 531 00:19:01,619 --> 00:19:02,218 Stick around. 532 00:19:02,286 --> 00:19:02,886 Please don't go. 533 00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:04,454 I don't... I don't want to, though. 534 00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:06,456 No, you should stay... I use shea butter. 535 00:19:06,524 --> 00:19:08,558 Assorted lanolin products. 536 00:19:08,626 --> 00:19:10,727 Oh, I'm serious, you could be a hand model. 537 00:19:10,795 --> 00:19:12,462 You've got the goods. 538 00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:13,763 That was quick, guys. 539 00:19:13,831 --> 00:19:15,532 Open and shut case, Dennis. 540 00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:16,232 Okay. 541 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,667 Did you get the apartment back? 542 00:19:17,735 --> 00:19:18,368 I sure did. 543 00:19:19,437 --> 00:19:21,438 You did? 544 00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:23,573 And you also acquired Ms. 545 00:19:23,641 --> 00:19:25,108 Ponderosa's debt. 546 00:19:25,176 --> 00:19:26,042 Whoo-hoo. 547 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:26,876 What? You're in debt? 548 00:19:26,944 --> 00:19:27,911 Not anymore. 549 00:19:27,978 --> 00:19:29,612 But you are... about 90K. 550 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,815 This guy seems to think you don't have a case and I'm 551 00:19:31,882 --> 00:19:33,116 inclined to agree with him. 552 00:19:33,184 --> 00:19:36,486 Yeah. Well, when I found out that Ms. Ponderosa here had been 553 00:19:36,554 --> 00:19:40,290 cast out of her marital home, I only thought it was fair that 554 00:19:40,357 --> 00:19:43,593 you assumed her debt in addition to the alimony payments, of course. 555 00:19:43,661 --> 00:19:45,695 Wait a second... so I got to pay alimony payments? 556 00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:47,330 Uncle Jack, what the hell?! 557 00:19:47,398 --> 00:19:48,598 I froze up. 558 00:19:48,666 --> 00:19:49,699 He's great. 559 00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:52,302 Oh, congratulations, Miss Ponderosa. 560 00:19:52,369 --> 00:19:55,505 Congratulations to you! 561 00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:57,273 See you around, Dennis. 562 00:19:57,341 --> 00:19:58,041 Yeah. 563 00:19:58,108 --> 00:19:59,108 Mac. 564 00:19:59,176 --> 00:20:02,345 Hey, Mac, would you mind taking a shot of the three of us 565 00:20:02,413 --> 00:20:04,714 for the Web site. 566 00:20:04,782 --> 00:20:06,182 Come on, Dennis. 567 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:09,018 And would it be okay if you put your hands on top of mine? 568 00:20:09,086 --> 00:20:10,353 Like they're my hands? 569 00:20:10,421 --> 00:20:11,221 Sure, yeah. 570 00:20:11,288 --> 00:20:11,888 Like that? 571 00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:12,622 Yes. 572 00:20:12,690 --> 00:20:13,389 Okay. 573 00:20:13,457 --> 00:20:14,557 That looks like my hands. 574 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:17,026 For the Web site. 575 00:20:17,094 --> 00:20:19,362 We're lawyers. 576 00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:29,363 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 577 00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:36,506 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org