1 00:00:01,306 --> 00:00:05,477 Would you describe these pieces more savory or succulent. 2 00:00:05,478 --> 00:00:07,299 It's definitely way too over cooked to be succulent, 3 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,489 but it's still pretty delicious. 4 00:00:08,489 --> 00:00:09,755 It's still savory, right? 5 00:00:09,756 --> 00:00:11,525 Now, what if we insert it in beer? 6 00:00:11,526 --> 00:00:13,698 Do you think that would help like regain it's succulence. 7 00:00:13,698 --> 00:00:15,060 - Like a beer-rub. - hu-hum. 8 00:00:15,060 --> 00:00:16,915 That's actually really smart. Mac, grab us some beers. 9 00:00:16,915 --> 00:00:19,100 Bite my bird. What are you eating? 10 00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,152 Oh, dude, Dee and I cooked up a great steak. 11 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:24,483 Frank's got, like, this whole fridge full of these delicious meats that I've been stealing. 12 00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:25,460 You guys wanna try some of this? 13 00:00:25,461 --> 00:00:28,080 Someone who sweats as much as you should not work with food. 14 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,668 Charlie? 15 00:00:29,669 --> 00:00:30,968 You son of a bitch! 16 00:00:31,258 --> 00:00:33,670 I told you stay away from my meat! 17 00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:34,412 - Spit it out. - Come on. 18 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:36,018 Spit it! Spit it out! 19 00:00:36,018 --> 00:00:36,664 Now! 20 00:00:36,665 --> 00:00:38,331 You too. Spit! 21 00:00:39,135 --> 00:00:39,660 Come on. 22 00:00:39,661 --> 00:00:40,261 Right there. 23 00:00:40,261 --> 00:00:41,839 Why you're being such a selfish jerk? 24 00:00:41,839 --> 00:00:42,618 Hey! 25 00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:45,115 I killed the dear, I should get to eat it. 26 00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:46,695 That's the natural order. 27 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:47,680 Wait, you shot a dear? 28 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,398 That's right. 10 point buck 29 00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:50,261 Ping! 30 00:00:50,261 --> 00:00:52,295 Right between the sorrowful little eyes. 31 00:00:52,295 --> 00:00:53,776 Since when do you, bro? 32 00:00:53,776 --> 00:00:55,455 Since always. I'm a great hunter. 33 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:58,079 How does hunting a defenseless creature make you a good hunter? 34 00:00:58,079 --> 00:01:00,710 Yeah, you should go after something that could at least defend itself. 35 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:04,211 You know, a really great hunter would go after something that can hunt him back. 36 00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:06,802 - Like a man! - Hell yeah, dude, a man? 37 00:01:06,802 --> 00:01:08,498 Don't even joke about hunting a man. 38 00:01:08,498 --> 00:01:09,684 Who's joking? I'm not joking. 39 00:01:09,684 --> 00:01:13,108 I think that hunting a man would be the only true test of a good hunter. 40 00:01:13,108 --> 00:01:14,708 Yeah? I was hunted once. 41 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,290 I just came back from Nam. 42 00:01:16,290 --> 00:01:17,599 I was hitching through Oregon 43 00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:19,487 and some cop started harassing me. 44 00:01:19,487 --> 00:01:22,867 Next thing you know, I had a whole army of cops chasing me through the woods. 45 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:25,186 I had to take 'em all out. It was a bloodbath. 46 00:01:25,671 --> 00:01:27,380 That's Rambo, dude. 47 00:01:28,249 --> 00:01:29,004 What? 48 00:01:29,303 --> 00:01:31,621 You just described the plot of Rambo. 49 00:01:31,621 --> 00:01:33,350 Yeah, that's the first from the first one. 50 00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:35,253 Yeah, I think you gave us the life of the Rambo. 51 00:01:35,253 --> 00:01:38,351 That's not the first time you've described your life in the way of John Rambo's like. 52 00:01:38,351 --> 00:01:39,300 Yeah, you know what? 53 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,860 It's actually making me think I can get on board with man-hunt. 54 00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:42,491 Really? 55 00:01:42,491 --> 00:01:44,107 - Me, too, dude. - I'm just throw that out there. 56 00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:44,768 No. 57 00:01:44,768 --> 00:01:48,041 You do not go on a man-hunt. 58 00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:50,909 - Screw ya. - Yeah. 59 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:58,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 60 00:02:05,745 --> 00:02:08,910 Script & Sync : Heli 61 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:12,675 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 4x01 - Mac and Dennis: Manhunters 62 00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:15,383 1st Aired: 9/18/2008 (FX) 63 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,007 Try that one. 64 00:02:24,007 --> 00:02:24,932 - This one? - hu-hum. 65 00:02:24,932 --> 00:02:27,410 - Good, a little bit of sauce with. - We don't have any slice left. 66 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:29,539 - It was just the The Natural Juice of two by the way. - Oh, so good! 67 00:02:29,539 --> 00:02:30,637 It's not actual sauce. 68 00:02:30,637 --> 00:02:32,396 Oh, my god, good job! 69 00:02:32,396 --> 00:02:35,529 I can't believe that dick horrible put the lock on the refrigerator. 70 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:36,961 - What a sonofabitch. - That wasn't cool. 71 00:02:36,961 --> 00:02:38,559 You know what though? At least he forgot about this piece. 72 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,392 What a dump ass. 73 00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,501 Did you do something different thought? 'cause it's sooo good this time. 74 00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:42,930 - I barely cooked it. - Really? 75 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,037 I'm talking like not at all. 76 00:02:44,037 --> 00:02:44,950 - No kiddin'. - hu hum. 77 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:46,634 What I did, I slopped through the radiator for minute. 78 00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:47,937 - That's pretty bogus. - not warmed it. 79 00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:49,342 No, but it's cleaned up. 80 00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:50,355 It's so good though. I don't care. 81 00:02:50,355 --> 00:02:51,830 Okay, good. But here's a good side. 82 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:52,866 Well, well, well~ 83 00:02:53,784 --> 00:02:55,238 What have we here. 84 00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:58,361 Looks like you two're up and enjoying my meat! 85 00:02:58,361 --> 00:03:00,428 Yes, we have a new fashious meat hug. 86 00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:01,854 Yeah, hey, Franky. 87 00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:05,379 Sharing it. It's a rule now~ 88 00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:07,439 Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves. 89 00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:10,183 Maybe we should open up a bottle of desert wine. 90 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,236 A nice port, 91 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:17,273 that would compliment what you have just eaten. 92 00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:19,252 By the way, 93 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:22,057 you know what you've just eaten, right? 94 00:03:22,057 --> 00:03:22,707 Was it venison? 95 00:03:22,707 --> 00:03:24,431 You wish it was venison. 96 00:03:24,431 --> 00:03:25,190 Was it a horse? 97 00:03:25,225 --> 00:03:26,181 Horse? 98 00:03:26,181 --> 00:03:29,379 That, which you have just eaten, that, 99 00:03:29,379 --> 00:03:33,094 which your teeth have just torn apart. 100 00:03:33,094 --> 00:03:37,381 Your taste buds have savored, that 101 00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:39,621 was human meat. 102 00:03:41,353 --> 00:03:42,868 - Yeah, ok. - So stupid. 103 00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:44,507 - You're so stupid! - Well, thank you for the human meat, Frank. 104 00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:45,743 Thank you for our human meat. 105 00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:47,070 - No, you're welcome. - It was delicious. 106 00:03:47,070 --> 00:03:49,452 - I knew you're gonna steal from me again. - You're stupid. 107 00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:52,985 - That's why I put a lock on the fridge. - Yeah. 108 00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:57,312 - And only left one piece of meat out. - I get it. 109 00:03:58,974 --> 00:04:00,448 - Human meat - Alright. 110 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,646 Where'd you get the human meat from, Frank? 111 00:04:02,646 --> 00:04:04,460 - I got a guy. - You got a guy? 112 00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:05,695 Oh, you got a human meat guy? 113 00:04:05,695 --> 00:04:07,831 - I got a guide for everything, Charlie. - You're so full of shit. 114 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,487 - Yeah, ok, right. - Oh, yeah, Deandra, you think I'm full of shit? - hu hum 115 00:04:10,487 --> 00:04:12,823 - Well, you enjoy yourselves, now. - Thank you. 116 00:04:12,823 --> 00:04:17,638 - I am glad you had a good time eating human meat. - Thank you. 117 00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:25,587 - That wasn't human meat though, right? - No~~~! 118 00:04:29,971 --> 00:04:31,464 Hey yo. Dennis, I did it. 119 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:35,533 It took me all day, but I finally finished a list of ten people that would be perfect to hunt. 120 00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:38,573 Great, and I totally respect your opinion, but I've already made a decision. 121 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,674 That's the complete opposite of respecting my opinion. 122 00:04:40,674 --> 00:04:41,874 Hey, don't I know it. 123 00:04:41,874 --> 00:04:42,876 Check it out, bro. 124 00:04:45,476 --> 00:04:46,470 Hey! 125 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,978 Dennis, are you sure Dee is coming? 126 00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:51,387 Yeah, yeah, she's coming. She wants to look great for your big date. 127 00:04:51,387 --> 00:04:53,808 - Do I get that right? Are you serious? - Yeah, man, he's perfect. 128 00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:55,188 You don't believe? Check it out. 129 00:04:55,188 --> 00:04:58,232 Hey, Cricket, will you, come out here for few second please. 130 00:04:58,644 --> 00:04:59,208 Yeah. 131 00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:01,145 just stand before us here. 132 00:05:01,145 --> 00:05:01,926 Now, check out his legs. 133 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,462 See how they're almost tierd? They're like pretty much back to perfect. 134 00:05:04,462 --> 00:05:04,995 Yeah. 135 00:05:04,995 --> 00:05:06,156 And check out his cane. 136 00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:09,403 Looks like he's whittled it into some sort of defensive tool. 137 00:05:09,403 --> 00:05:10,627 Wow. 138 00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:12,966 But, that makes you quite formidable, huh? 139 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,523 Ok, what's going on here, huh? 140 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,228 - Where is Dee? - Admit it, Mac. 141 00:05:17,228 --> 00:05:18,861 - He's perfect. - Yeah. 142 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:19,941 Yeah, he'll do just fine. 143 00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:23,285 Oh, god, oh, god. I know you're up to something. 144 00:05:23,285 --> 00:05:25,365 You're gonna harvest my organs, aren't you? 145 00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:27,114 - Yeah, - Hey, relax. 146 00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:30,191 - You're gonna rope me and you're gonna harvest my organs. - Relax, Cricket, relax, relax, take it easy. 147 00:05:30,191 --> 00:05:32,367 You don't wanna be all nervous and sweaty when Dee gets here. 148 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:34,064 It's ture she's coming? 149 00:05:34,064 --> 00:05:36,267 Ok, ok. 150 00:05:36,267 --> 00:05:38,894 Yeah, for second there, I thought you guys're gonna do something terrible to me. 151 00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:39,987 Yeah, we are. Stack on 'em. 152 00:05:39,987 --> 00:05:41,170 No, we're gonna hunt you. 153 00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:42,546 What? 154 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,261 We are going to hunt you, Cricket. 155 00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:48,313 Why? 156 00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:51,413 Uh.. I'll spend a lot less time asking questions, more time running. 157 00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:51,928 Yeah. 158 00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:54,516 What, what happens if.. if I get caught? 159 00:05:54,516 --> 00:05:56,172 - Wu, don't get caught. - Don't get caught. 160 00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:01,263 There he goes 161 00:06:01,263 --> 00:06:02,388 and hunt begins! 162 00:06:02,388 --> 00:06:03,652 Indeed, indeed. 163 00:06:03,652 --> 00:06:05,239 -This gonna be fun. - Yeah. 164 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,310 What do you suppose gonna happen when we do catch him? 165 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:10,229 - Well, I suppose we do some tea-bag related. - hum 166 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:14,055 Dee! 167 00:06:14,055 --> 00:06:15,006 You're home, thank god. 168 00:06:15,006 --> 00:06:17,599 Ok, let's talk. Let's have a quick conversation, huh? What do you think? 169 00:06:17,599 --> 00:06:19,247 - I couldn't sleep last night, could you? - Nope. 170 00:06:19,247 --> 00:06:20,067 And I'll tell you why. 171 00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:21,441 - Yesterday. - Yesterday. 172 00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:22,244 What's going on? 173 00:06:22,244 --> 00:06:23,763 Oh my god, Charlie. I didn't wanna say anything, 174 00:06:23,763 --> 00:06:26,154 but I'm thinking there's some strange going on with this meat, such a wish. 175 00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:29,572 Yes, ok, now, I know it's crazy. The idea Frank feeding us human meat. 176 00:06:29,572 --> 00:06:30,963 - Yes! - But, I'm trying to disapprove it. 177 00:06:30,963 --> 00:06:33,123 - I absolutely can. - You can't do it, can you? 178 00:06:33,123 --> 00:06:34,293 Let's talk to taste. 179 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,425 - The taste! - the taste, Charlie, I tried everything. - I can't get the taste out of my mouth! 180 00:06:37,425 --> 00:06:39,174 - You can't get it out, right? - Absolutely not. 181 00:06:39,174 --> 00:06:40,732 - And if you try all source of other meats, - Yes! 182 00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:42,724 - like daily meats and sandwich meats. - Absolutely! 183 00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:45,762 And then did you go crazy? Just looking everything in your apartment, 184 00:06:45,762 --> 00:06:48,970 like your shoe, item with a catch fanny, like nothing's working, right? 185 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:49,939 Maybe, it's a trick. 186 00:06:49,939 --> 00:06:54,544 Ok? Maybe, he went and got some weird, exotic meat that we wouldn't thank to try. 187 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,606 - Ok, it's not like regular grocery store kind of meat. - No, not meat from a grocery store. 188 00:06:57,606 --> 00:06:59,657 He got it from some weird place. 189 00:06:59,657 --> 00:07:02,035 Ok, let's, let's think here. Let's put our heads together. 190 00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:04,418 Where could Frank go to get mysterious meat? 191 00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:14,305 - This is the place, huh? - This is where I can find. 192 00:07:14,305 --> 00:07:16,066 Just start grabbing as much stuff as you can. 193 00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,728 Ok, we'll take, um, that big brown mound and 194 00:07:18,728 --> 00:07:21,234 the curly stuff and then this thing looks like a blanket. 195 00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:22,076 - Try some of that. - Definitely. 196 00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:25,326 Oh, oh, what about a monkey? Monkeys are like nature's humans. 197 00:07:25,326 --> 00:07:26,769 I doubt they have monkey, Charlie. 198 00:07:26,769 --> 00:07:28,349 People eat monkey, Dee. 199 00:07:28,349 --> 00:07:30,084 They're eating type of doom. Have you ever see that? 200 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:30,924 Hey. 201 00:07:33,332 --> 00:07:34,396 We got monkey. 202 00:07:36,385 --> 00:07:36,938 Oh. 203 00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,881 Well, we'll look at that. Great! 204 00:07:38,881 --> 00:07:40,489 Uh, one monkey also then, please. 205 00:07:48,779 --> 00:07:51,640 Yeah, baby. This hunt is gonna be so awesome, dude. 206 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,894 Yeah, bud. This is what it must feel like, before you go to battle. 207 00:07:53,894 --> 00:07:55,888 Oh my god, I know man. I'm so exited, feel my nips. 208 00:07:56,865 --> 00:07:58,302 - Holy smokes! - They're, like, super hard, right? 209 00:07:58,302 --> 00:08:00,950 - You can cut glass with these bad boys. - I know, right? 210 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:02,484 What the hell are you doing? 211 00:08:02,484 --> 00:08:04,902 - I'm feeling his nips, Frank. - Yeah, man, I'm so exited for this hunt 212 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,248 - and my nips are doing stuff they've never done before. Feel 'em. - Look at these. 213 00:08:07,248 --> 00:08:07,965 What hunt? 214 00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,153 We're gonna hunt Cricket. 215 00:08:09,153 --> 00:08:11,058 I thought we went over this already. 216 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,877 You do not hunt a man. 217 00:08:12,877 --> 00:08:14,606 Come on, man. Don't bring it down, not right now. 218 00:08:14,606 --> 00:08:15,942 Not when my nips are like this. 219 00:08:15,942 --> 00:08:17,745 You know you hunt a man, 220 00:08:17,745 --> 00:08:19,792 he can snap like a toig. 221 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,580 Next thing you know, 222 00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:22,560 he's up at night, 223 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,786 he's burning down a village of Nam, 224 00:08:24,786 --> 00:08:28,376 he's killing everything that moves, everything that lives! 225 00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:30,107 You're talking about Rambo again. 226 00:08:30,107 --> 00:08:32,017 Oh, no. That happened to me. 227 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:33,588 Yeah, you're thinking about John Rambo's life, every time. 228 00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:35,307 No, I'm not. This happened to me. 229 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,637 - That never happened to you, Frank. - It happened to me, Mac. 230 00:08:37,637 --> 00:08:39,936 Yeah, you're confused your life with Rambo again. 231 00:08:43,538 --> 00:08:44,060 No. 232 00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,888 No, Charlie. This is not right. I still have the crazy. 233 00:08:46,888 --> 00:08:49,449 I have, too. I have even worse than before I take. 234 00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:51,174 - There's something really weirdoes happening to me. - I'll tell you what's going on. 235 00:08:51,174 --> 00:08:53,124 Frank bet it's human meat, and we got the hunger. 236 00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,213 - The hunger? - hu hum. 237 00:08:54,213 --> 00:08:55,791 That's how you become a cannibal, Dee. 238 00:08:55,791 --> 00:08:58,837 Like, you get one taste of delicious, delicious human meat, 239 00:08:58,837 --> 00:09:00,905 none of these stuff ever satisfies you, ever again for the rest of your life. 240 00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,533 - Now, I just think that you're overreacting, okay? - Oh, really? 241 00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:04,894 Yeah, that's stupid. 242 00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:05,895 Is that stupid? 243 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:07,392 Oh, I'm sorry, Dee. 244 00:09:07,392 --> 00:09:09,668 Well, then I guess Jaws IV is stupid, ok? 245 00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:11,059 'cause that's exact same plot. 246 00:09:11,059 --> 00:09:12,603 Ok, alright. Calm down. 247 00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:16,577 Before you start accusing us of becoming cannibals or sharks or whatever is you're trying to say, 248 00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:19,639 I think we need to find out if what we ate was actually human. 249 00:09:19,639 --> 00:09:21,533 Oh, shit. That's what we've been doing. 250 00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:23,288 - I ate a fu** monkey, Dee. - Charlie? 251 00:09:23,288 --> 00:09:24,478 You don't understand me. 252 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,470 I think we need to try a piece of human flesh. 253 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:29,920 Oh, god. 254 00:09:29,921 --> 00:09:31,022 just to make sure. 255 00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:31,805 That's the only way. 256 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:32,464 - Right? - Ok. 257 00:09:32,464 --> 00:09:33,481 How're we gonna do this? 258 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,904 The morgue? Hear me out. 259 00:09:35,904 --> 00:09:37,086 - It's a dead body... - Sold. 260 00:09:37,086 --> 00:09:39,901 You don't even have to tell me, man. That's where you find a dead body, right? 261 00:09:39,902 --> 00:09:41,325 - Great idea, right? - We'll have a tiny little bit. 262 00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:42,851 - They won't even know. - We'll be off the hook. 263 00:09:42,851 --> 00:09:44,720 - Well, no for sure. - I got a hot plate. 264 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,685 I wanna get some beers. 265 00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,451 Any sight of him? 266 00:09:50,451 --> 00:09:53,727 No, but uh, word on the street is he's out of here begging must Saturdays. 267 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,155 He'll be here. Don't worry about it. 268 00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:56,908 God, hunting is awesome, Dennis. 269 00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:59,102 - Yeah. - You get to wear sweet clothes and get wasted all day. 270 00:09:59,102 --> 00:10:02,816 It's just like our normal lives, except at the end of it we get to put our nuts in some dude's mouth. 271 00:10:03,766 --> 00:10:06,749 ah... yeah, actually I wanted to talk to you about that aspect of it. 272 00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,038 What's up? You're not happy with the plan? 273 00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,539 No, now look, we'd been tea-bagging Cricket since high school, you know? 274 00:10:10,539 --> 00:10:12,903 I feel like we need to make some progress. 275 00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:15,226 I think we should give him a gorilla mask. 276 00:10:15,226 --> 00:10:16,405 What's a gorilla mask? 277 00:10:16,405 --> 00:10:17,751 You put some sticky over his face, 278 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,002 and then sprinkle it with shaved pubes. 279 00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:22,103 umm, no, I don't like it. 280 00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:23,739 What? What's not to like? 281 00:10:23,739 --> 00:10:25,345 Cricket with a face full of pubes? Hilarious! 282 00:10:25,345 --> 00:10:27,466 Yeah, but where're we supposed to get that many pubes, man? 283 00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,265 - We shave! - Now, that's gonna be a problem, I laser. 284 00:10:29,265 --> 00:10:30,764 It's like a turtle shell down there. 285 00:10:31,642 --> 00:10:32,586 What? 286 00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,973 Yeah, look man. The classic surculose for reason, ok? 287 00:10:34,973 --> 00:10:37,354 - Why going nuts with that? - It's called progress, Dennis. 288 00:10:37,354 --> 00:10:39,355 Well, I wanna make progress. So, I'm sticking with the tea-bagging. 289 00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:40,841 But tea-bagging doesn't even leave a mark! 290 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:44,389 Well, fine, I'll dip my nuts in ink or something and then put it in his mouth, that make you happy? 291 00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:46,720 Well... Yeah, actually, I think that's a pretty good idea. 292 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,230 Yeah, because it leaves a mark all over it, and.. 293 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,266 - Holy shit, let me just hunt. - It's an excellent idea. 294 00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:52,431 - It's like we can dunk him down and, like hooo~ - Cheers, man, let me went through that. 295 00:10:52,431 --> 00:10:54,628 - See? We're free thinking outside hot. - I like it. 296 00:10:54,628 --> 00:10:55,775 Cricket! Get him. 297 00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:03,670 Get, get, get, get! 298 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,724 Ok, how did his legs just do that? 299 00:11:20,724 --> 00:11:22,610 - I'm not doing that, Dennis. - No, that was incredibly dangerous. 300 00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,929 - Let's go pow chop in that case. - Did not know what he was capable of. 301 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:35,282 - Hi. - Hey. 302 00:11:35,317 --> 00:11:36,288 Sorry to bug you here. 303 00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:37,470 How are you? 304 00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:38,137 I'm good. 305 00:11:38,138 --> 00:11:41,771 We're two friends of one of the dead people that you have in there. 306 00:11:41,771 --> 00:11:43,212 Close friends. 307 00:11:43,212 --> 00:11:45,563 - And we wanted to.. - spent some time.. 308 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:49,470 - We wanted to say good-bye. - Say good-bye to her and or.. 309 00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:51,709 - to him I think - He had a... 310 00:11:51,709 --> 00:11:54,653 - had long life that was good and.. - What's the hot plate for? 311 00:11:57,019 --> 00:11:59,170 - The hot plate.. - The hot plate is.. because.. 312 00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:01,618 - our friend was a.. - He was a chef. 313 00:12:01,618 --> 00:12:02,814 - a chef - of small.. 314 00:12:02,814 --> 00:12:04,052 - who puts small.. - plates of ... 315 00:12:04,052 --> 00:12:06,406 - many small items on hot plate. - Of course, he just heated it up. 316 00:12:06,406 --> 00:12:09,496 And we thought maybe if he saw or he's near to hot plate one more time... 317 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,486 Right, right, right. Look, I respect the act. 318 00:12:12,486 --> 00:12:14,624 I'll give you guys the same deal like I gave every else. 319 00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:17,805 15 bucks get you 10 minutes alone with the bodies. 320 00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:19,999 - What? - What're you talking about? 321 00:12:19,999 --> 00:12:25,076 I must say thought, I've never seen a guy and a girl bang one of these taste at the same time. 322 00:12:25,806 --> 00:12:26,973 - Are you kidding me, guy? - Ok. 323 00:12:26,973 --> 00:12:30,389 - You've got the wrong idea. That's really gross. - Wow, you got a wrong idea about us. 324 00:12:30,389 --> 00:12:32,762 - We were gonna have, we were just gonna come and have a bite a bit, I mean.. - I don't.. 325 00:12:32,762 --> 00:12:34,590 Wait, I don't judge you guys. It's cool. 326 00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:38,038 - I like yogurt up my ass and a popsicle stick in my mouth, that's all. - Oh my god, man. 327 00:12:38,038 --> 00:12:39,754 - You know what? Let's just give this guy 15 bucks. - I don't even know what to say. 328 00:12:39,754 --> 00:12:42,063 What up, man? You're the one with the hot plate. 329 00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:43,667 - No, that is... much worse. - Weirdo. 330 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:47,721 Ok, I'm a weirdo, says the guy, who yogurt up his ass. 331 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,809 - Holy shit. - Holy shit. 332 00:12:52,809 --> 00:12:54,868 These are dead bodies. 333 00:12:54,868 --> 00:12:56,116 two dead, two dead guys. 334 00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:57,069 It's the real deal here. 335 00:12:59,297 --> 00:13:00,585 I don't think I can eat this guy. 336 00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:02,645 No, I don't think I can, right? What is that? 337 00:13:02,645 --> 00:13:04,275 I don't, I don't know. 338 00:13:04,854 --> 00:13:06,729 - It's not because he's black, though, right? - What? 339 00:13:06,729 --> 00:13:10,841 - Ok, I.. - No! What, no! I still think so, no! 340 00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:14,743 - It's because he's dead, right? - It's because he's dead, that's why not. 341 00:13:14,743 --> 00:13:16,074 Good, good, good. 342 00:13:17,145 --> 00:13:18,984 Now, I got a question for you. 343 00:13:20,013 --> 00:13:22,600 We're racist if we don't eat this guy? 344 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,338 Oh, shit, Charlie. Now it is. 345 00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:27,049 I'm sorry, Dee. I just thought white guy over here looks better than him for some reason. 346 00:13:27,049 --> 00:13:29,263 He looks so much better, doesn't he? What is that? 347 00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:32,085 I don't know, you know what it is? I generally, I don't eat dark meat. 348 00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:33,324 No, I've preferred the white meat. I always have. 349 00:13:33,324 --> 00:13:35,867 - Yeah, so it's not that guy. - No, it has nothing to do with that. 350 00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:39,776 The problem is I'm gonna have a really hard time for both cannibals and racist. 351 00:13:39,776 --> 00:13:40,587 - We're not, Dee. - I wanna just make sure. 352 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,470 Cannibalism? Racism, Dee? That's not for us. 353 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:46,416 You know, those are the decisions that're best left to the suits on Washington. 354 00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:48,530 Ok? We're just here to eat some dude. 355 00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:53,035 Well, I'm, you lost me with Washington, but the rest I agree with, so let's eat a piece of this white guy. 356 00:13:53,035 --> 00:13:54,245 Let's get him. 357 00:13:58,423 --> 00:13:59,353 I don't think I can do it. 358 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,757 - No, me neither. - No. 359 00:14:02,757 --> 00:14:04,853 Hey, the good news is that means we're not racist. 360 00:14:04,853 --> 00:14:07,593 - Yeah, I guess so. - Ok, ok, ok. 361 00:14:10,494 --> 00:14:11,430 I made it. 362 00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,034 I'm fastest, 363 00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:15,117 I finished this lane. 364 00:14:15,117 --> 00:14:16,796 I beat you, bitches. 365 00:14:26,764 --> 00:14:28,371 Hey, shreep rat. 366 00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:32,665 - Don't move! - Hey, hey, hey! 367 00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,256 I'm not here to kill you. 368 00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:38,894 I'm here to help you turn the tables on Mac and Dennis. 369 00:14:38,894 --> 00:14:39,914 What do you mean? 370 00:14:39,914 --> 00:14:43,406 I wanna show those bastards today, it ain't ok to hunt humans. 371 00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:44,417 Yeah? 372 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,712 They drew first blood, not you. 373 00:14:46,712 --> 00:14:47,813 They what? 374 00:14:47,813 --> 00:14:51,594 They drew first blood! 375 00:14:53,248 --> 00:14:54,611 What is that? Is that a... 376 00:14:55,115 --> 00:14:56,072 Is that Rambo? 377 00:14:56,072 --> 00:14:58,539 - No, I made that up. - No, no, no. 378 00:14:58,539 --> 00:15:00,761 - That's Rambo. - You want me to help you or not? 379 00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:02,021 Yes, yes. 380 00:15:02,665 --> 00:15:03,627 Well, come on. Let's go. 381 00:15:03,627 --> 00:15:05,025 Get up. 382 00:15:08,819 --> 00:15:11,291 Tag! You're it! 383 00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:17,046 Holy shit! 384 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:20,125 Holy shit, dude. Holy shit! 385 00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,005 Tag, you're it? And a knife? What the hell is this, man? 386 00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,005 Why are you laughing? 387 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,284 Stop laughing, dude. This is serious shit! 388 00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:26,481 - Yeah? Huh? - What? 389 00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:29,224 Oh my god. Are you kidding me? You gorilla masked me? 390 00:15:29,224 --> 00:15:32,488 Yes! Bro, you gotta admit. I had so much more awesome than tea-bagging. 391 00:15:32,488 --> 00:15:34,162 Oh, yeah? Take a look at your mouth, you tell me. 392 00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:37,862 You put your balls in my mouth while I was sleeping? 393 00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,458 - Yeah, man, twice. - That's rape. 394 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:40,933 - Yeah, I know. - That is borderline rape. 395 00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:43,273 Yeah, bro, you got a lot of people care. - Not anymore. 396 00:15:43,273 --> 00:15:44,474 Yeah, I guess not. 397 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:46,638 Jesus, man. What's with the note? I mean what's with the our tricks. 398 00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,273 No, I didn't leave it. I thought you left it. 399 00:15:48,273 --> 00:15:49,295 So it was Cricket. 400 00:15:49,787 --> 00:15:51,020 Oh, shit! 401 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,972 Ok, Cricket got to us. He got to us. 402 00:15:52,972 --> 00:15:53,784 Oh, damn! He got to us, Dennis. 403 00:15:53,784 --> 00:15:57,463 Ok, the good news is the gorilla mask, the purple tea-bag both totally viable options, right? 404 00:15:57,463 --> 00:15:58,912 Ok, the bad news is.. 405 00:15:58,912 --> 00:16:00,221 it looks like Cricket finally snapped. 406 00:16:00,221 --> 00:16:02,719 We may have pushed him to far, Dennis. What do you think he's gonna do? 407 00:16:02,719 --> 00:16:04,076 We need to get to him first. 408 00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:05,599 We need to set a trap. 409 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:06,499 Yeah. 410 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,537 Then how do you catch a cricket? 411 00:16:08,538 --> 00:16:10,096 With a giant bird. 412 00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:15,527 Dee, would you calm down? You're eating that cheese steak like a some kind of giant bird, you know? 413 00:16:15,527 --> 00:16:16,771 I can't help it, Charlie. 414 00:16:16,772 --> 00:16:19,500 - You know, I got an insatiable hunger. - Oh, I know what that hunger is, you know? 415 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,207 - Stop telling me about the hunger, Ok? I'm feeling a good. - Is it? 416 00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:24,050 Now, let's just go back to the morgue, ok?. This is shit. 417 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,252 No, that place is terrible. 418 00:16:25,253 --> 00:16:26,551 - Oh, none of those were terrible. - Don't think about that. 419 00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,154 Look, Dee. We're cannibals now. 420 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,925 - although it's pretty obvious to me. - I started to look that, but isn't it? 421 00:16:29,925 --> 00:16:31,744 That's a fact, Dee. That's what it is. 422 00:16:31,744 --> 00:16:33,629 Look, if we don't feed the hunger, we can die for that. 423 00:16:33,629 --> 00:16:34,584 It's not our fault. It's nature. 424 00:16:34,584 --> 00:16:36,865 That's nature! That's what happens, people die from the hunger. 425 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,563 Oh my god. All the time that happens. 426 00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:39,543 We don't want that to happen. 427 00:16:39,544 --> 00:16:41,619 Oh my god, that happened to me. It won't happen to you? 428 00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:43,611 No, I want it happen to me, but I'm not going back to that morgue. 429 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,940 Oh, we gotta do something about it. 430 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:47,439 Oh, Charlie, oh, I wanted to eat that lady so bad. 431 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,271 I did, too. I did, too. 432 00:16:49,272 --> 00:16:50,374 - We're gonna have to do it. - No, no! 433 00:16:50,374 --> 00:16:52,413 - We're gonna have to find a living human being. - No, no, you know why? I'll tell you why. 434 00:16:52,413 --> 00:16:54,301 Because it's dead meat, and dead meat is bad meat. 435 00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:56,155 No, not the morgue. I'm with you on this. 436 00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:57,388 on this thing. 437 00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:59,843 - I never wanted that before, I wanna know. - I know, but I wanna know. 438 00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:02,108 We gotta find a guy. We gotta kill that guy, and we gotta eat it. 439 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,496 Somebody, little rotten maybe. 440 00:17:04,497 --> 00:17:08,165 - Somebody.. - that nobody will start asking questions about, if he's missing. 441 00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:09,725 - I mean, when we do that, we don't want any gushers. - I don't wanna get caught. 442 00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:12,445 - Someone no in the world could ever care about. - Small change? 443 00:17:13,185 --> 00:17:15,362 Hungry Please help. 444 00:17:19,237 --> 00:17:19,780 Aho. 445 00:17:20,492 --> 00:17:22,543 I can't do this. They're not coming off, seriously. 446 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:23,581 Oh, no, they're not going to. 447 00:17:23,582 --> 00:17:26,266 I used airplane glue, bro. That's gonna be your look for a while. 448 00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:28,528 Now, run me through how we're gonna do this with Dee. 449 00:17:28,528 --> 00:17:30,028 I'll talk her to it. Don't. 450 00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,825 Dee, ah, great. We need to use you as bait for our Cricket. 451 00:17:33,826 --> 00:17:34,621 Screw up. 452 00:17:36,302 --> 00:17:38,716 - What in the hell is going on here? - Who is this? 453 00:17:38,716 --> 00:17:40,577 - No, no, we don't wanna know his name. - Go away! 454 00:17:40,577 --> 00:17:43,389 No, wait, wait, Dee. What? Oh my god no. 455 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:44,364 - What are we doing? - What? 456 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:45,596 You know what kid? You gotta get out of here, man. 457 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,477 You gotta get out of here. It's not safe here. 458 00:17:47,477 --> 00:17:50,328 - We can't do this. - No. Charlie, listen to me, listen to me good. 459 00:17:50,328 --> 00:17:52,454 If we don't eat this kid, we're gonna die. You know it. 460 00:17:52,454 --> 00:17:54,349 Oh my god, I wanna eat him as much as you wanna eat him, 461 00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:55,995 - but it's wrong to do it. - No, it's a.. 462 00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:58,044 - It's wrong that, going back to the street! - Damn it! Damn it! 463 00:17:58,045 --> 00:17:59,721 So, you're gonna eat that kid. 464 00:17:59,721 --> 00:18:01,637 No, you don't know. You don't have the hunger. 465 00:18:01,637 --> 00:18:03,092 You know? We don't give a shit about any of these. 466 00:18:03,092 --> 00:18:05,000 Dee? Cricket trap bait? You? 467 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,233 What? 468 00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,527 Hello? 469 00:18:07,528 --> 00:18:08,539 - Hey, Frank. - Hooray. 470 00:18:08,539 --> 00:18:10,168 Speaker, yeah, hold on. 471 00:18:10,974 --> 00:18:12,209 Is Dennis with you? 472 00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,141 Uh.. yeah. 473 00:18:13,142 --> 00:18:15,257 Good, back in Dennis, 474 00:18:15,258 --> 00:18:18,078 prepare to be burned alive. 475 00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,591 This is the point where I normally burn you alive, but 476 00:18:23,591 --> 00:18:26,461 I just did it to prove a point that I think I made my point. 477 00:18:26,462 --> 00:18:28,550 - Hey, Frank. Hey, Frank. - Hey, man. 478 00:18:28,551 --> 00:18:30,679 - Hey, Franky. - Good to see you. 479 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,684 Good to see you, man. Hey, look. 480 00:18:32,685 --> 00:18:35,006 - Can you get us more like human meat? - Bodies, please. 481 00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:37,005 Are you still going on about the meat? 482 00:18:37,006 --> 00:18:38,713 I didn't feed you human meat. 483 00:18:38,714 --> 00:18:40,525 It was a raccoon. 484 00:18:41,103 --> 00:18:42,137 - What? - What? 485 00:18:42,137 --> 00:18:44,304 You ate raccoon meat. 486 00:18:44,304 --> 00:18:47,759 I told you it was people, because I wanted to freak you out, 487 00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:49,545 because you're stealing my food. 488 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,922 - No! No, no - No, no. 489 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:55,157 Then why am I always hungry? And stomach pains? And nothing satisfies the hunger? 490 00:18:55,158 --> 00:18:57,097 You probably got a tapeworm. 491 00:18:57,098 --> 00:18:59,483 Raccoon meat is lousy with parasites. 492 00:18:59,484 --> 00:19:01,766 Ok, are we done here? 493 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,259 Because we're bored of shit. 494 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,949 No, no, no, no, no. Not yet. 495 00:19:05,755 --> 00:19:08,658 Get ready, for a mouthful-- 496 00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:13,228 of strawberry blond haired, covered balls. 497 00:19:13,228 --> 00:19:15,709 - Frank? Grab 'em - We're not doing that. 498 00:19:15,709 --> 00:19:17,633 What do you mean? What do you mean we're not doing it. 499 00:19:17,633 --> 00:19:18,895 - I lied. - What? 500 00:19:18,895 --> 00:19:20,429 What, what is it with you people? 501 00:19:20,562 --> 00:19:23,534 I mean, you guys are always touching each other's nipples, 502 00:19:23,534 --> 00:19:25,768 putting your balls in each other's mouths. 503 00:19:25,769 --> 00:19:27,560 - Yeah, it's fun. - It's funny. 504 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,808 I just don't understand your generation. 505 00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:35,740 Raccoon meat! 506 00:19:36,116 --> 00:19:37,784 - Ball shit! - What? 507 00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:39,299 That was human meat, I know it. 508 00:19:39,299 --> 00:19:41,248 Look, I don't give you a shit what you think. 509 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:41,987 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 510 00:19:41,987 --> 00:19:45,981 I gotta chop off that pieces of that fellow calf muscle of yours, Frank. 511 00:19:45,981 --> 00:19:47,369 And I'm gonna eat it. 512 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:50,174 - Oh, yes. Oh, yes, Charlie. - We're gonna put it on the hot plate, right? 513 00:19:50,175 --> 00:19:52,577 - Get him! - Oh, you can't run way from me! 514 00:19:54,285 --> 00:19:57,322 - Well, I guess the hunt is all once bagan. - Indeed, it is. 515 00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,586 - Oh, they're gonna have so much fun, man. - Oh, those two are gonna have blast, huh? 516 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:05,726 So, I guess the only thing that's left is to figure out what to do with Mr. Cricket. 517 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:09,346 Yeah, oh. What to do, what to do. 518 00:20:09,346 --> 00:20:11,193 Guess it's just us. 519 00:20:12,217 --> 00:20:14,753 It's just you and us, and a.. 520 00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:19,788 couple pairs of sour sweaty balls. 521 00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,188 Script & Sync : Heli 522 00:20:24,305 --> 00:20:30,541 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org