1 00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:04,326 These things are hilarious. 2 00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,872 - These are priceless. - What are you guys lookin'at? 3 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:10,000 - Uh, Garbage Pail Kids. - Heavin' Steven. 4 00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,340 - Classic. - Totally classic. I love Heavin' Steven. 5 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:15,848 Are those those stupid cards where babies are doing disgusting things? 6 00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:20,147 Uh, no. They're the amazing cards where babies are doing hysterical things. 7 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,552 You got quite a collection there, buddy. 8 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:25,887 - Yes, I do. - Hey, Charlie, how about givin' me a couple of these? 9 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,893 - Uh, no. - I tell you what. 10 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,191 I'll buy 'em from you. You got a ton of'em. 11 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,197 No. These are, like, an investment. 12 00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:34,699 This is my future here, so don't mess with them. 13 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,759 Hey, have you guys seen this? 14 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:39,270 We are getting blasted in the ass by the state liquor tax. 15 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:41,068 "Blasted in the ass"? 16 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,302 Mac, we have this same conversation every year. 17 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,310 There's nothing you can do about taxes. 18 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:48,370 You guys might want to think about voting every once in a while. 19 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,474 - What has voting ever done? - Why... Since wh... What has... 20 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,452 - Why are you comin'down... Voting? - Who am I supposed to vote for? 21 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:57,149 Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who's gonna blast me in the ass... 22 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,157 or the Republican who's blasting my ass? 23 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,216 Politics is just one big ass blast. 24 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,956 - It is a coast-to-coast, nationwide ass blast. - You're gonna get your ass... 25 00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,964 No more! You guys are such morons. 26 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:09,559 If you knew anything at all about politics, you would know that that is not true. 27 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,332 Deandra, it's just some jerk gettin' into office... 28 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,270 so he can get out for the payday. 29 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:17,798 Right. The guy's runnin' for office. He's... What? What payday? 30 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,811 I see it every year. 31 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,337 Some clown runs for office, drops out of the race... 32 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,441 and gets a big chunk of dough. 33 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:30,888 I mean, you have to be a real low-life piece of shit... 34 00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,982 to get involved in politics. 35 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:40,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 36 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,655 Okay. I just got off the phone with the city clerk. 37 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,666 Turns out there's an election comin' up. 38 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,929 - Local, small-time shit. Anybody can run. - What's the position? 39 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,666 "South Philly, Zone 2, District 37 Comptroller. 40 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,504 - Nice. What's a comptroller? - Who gives a shit? We're doin' it for the bribe. 41 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,510 I nominate Dennis. 42 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,604 - I accept your nomination. - Wait a minute. How come he gets to be the candidate? 43 00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:31,081 Take a look at that hair... Kennedy hair. 44 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,847 Note the bone structure. It's like a young J.F.K. 45 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:37,879 I got the same bone structure. 46 00:02:37,957 --> 00:02:40,357 What are you making that noise... What is that about? 47 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:43,452 - You got something funky goin' on in the forehead area. - Five head. 48 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,794 Did you say five head? I don't have that. 49 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:49,460 Deandra, a woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus. 50 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,198 Come on. There are plenty of amazing women politicians. 51 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,435 - Name one. - Uh, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. 52 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,806 - Awful. - How is she awful? 53 00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,141 - Hates freedom. - Uh... 54 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,977 Okay, Dennis, you are gonna need a campaign manager. That's me. 55 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,540 - So... - Ooh. We should put that one to a vote. 56 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,552 'Cause I'd be a good campaign manager. 57 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,485 It's too late. I already have the clipboard. 58 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:13,117 - So you can be my assistant. - Mmm. Assistant is... 59 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,457 - Should I wear a blazer? - Yes. - No. 60 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,621 - Yes. - No. - I like what he said. 61 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,631 Charlie? Campaign manager. You don't need a blazer. 62 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,564 - A blazer's gonna look... - I like where he's goin'. 63 00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:24,296 - What am I gonna do? - You get to be the intern. 64 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,338 - Yeah, the intern. - What does an intern do? 65 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:29,273 - Cut limes. - Stock glasses. - Serve drinks. 66 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:32,140 No. No. Come on. You guys, damn you! 67 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,146 - I'm not doing that. - Hold it! Hold it! 68 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,741 If my son is gonna solicit a bribe, he's gonna do it the right way. 69 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:41,150 - I'm gonna be campaign manager. - Like hell you are. 70 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,553 You are way too old. Politics is a young man's game. 71 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,921 - Mac, I think you might be in over your head here. - Yeah. 72 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,153 - Over my head? - Yeah. Listen. 73 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,028 Everybody who's in favor of firing Mac as campaign manager... 74 00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:54,032 raise their hand. 75 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,536 - For God sakes! - The people have spoken. You're out. 76 00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:00,004 So that's it? I'm fired? This is bullshit! 77 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,338 - That's politics, man. - That's politics? That's politics? 78 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,843 This is wonderful. This is just wonderful. You know what? 79 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,903 I'm walkin' outta here. I don't need this shit. 80 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,541 I'm washin' my hands of the whole situation. Show you, bitches. 81 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,677 - Can I grab that clipboard? - No. That's mine. 82 00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,723 Dee, check out my blazer. 83 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,919 - Yeah. It's too small. - Nah. It's perfect. 84 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,159 - How's the bar? - Full of hoboes, Dennis. A lot of hoboes. 85 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:29,463 - Watch your ears. There you go. - Frank. 86 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:33,938 Frank, I don't... I just don't think this is the best idea for our candidate's image. 87 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:37,135 This is a brilliant idea... "hobo-vertising." 88 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:40,805 Come on. It looks good. Beer him. 89 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,179 - We gotta fire Frank. - He's my dad, Charlie. I don't know. 90 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,582 But, Dennis. Dennis. Hobo-vertising? 91 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:48,814 - That's not you. It's cheap. - Ooh. 92 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:52,289 It's cheap politics. It's not gonna get us that bribe. 93 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,349 I mean, you need to be out there. 94 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,828 You gotta be shakin' hands. You gotta be kissin' babies. 95 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,762 I don't like babies. 96 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,766 No babies. Don't kiss babies. 97 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,564 Just get out there into the world, and... 98 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:08,903 You gotta let me be your campaign manager. 99 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,967 I mean, I can really drive this thing in a different direction. 100 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,775 I mean, when I look at you, I see success. 101 00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:18,305 I see... You're top-notch. You're goin' all the way with this thing. 102 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,579 - Oh. - Frank's just gettin' in the way here. 103 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,851 Give me this chance. Just give it to me. 104 00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:29,020 I just didn't realize I was gonna have to make so many... tough decisions. 105 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:37,401 Take him down. 106 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,267 This is a goddamn coup! 107 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,307 Don't take it personally, Dad. That's just politics. 108 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,638 You look like a dick in that tiny jacket. 109 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,701 - Let's not attack my candidate. - Don't go after the jacket. 110 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,575 - Shut up, Charlie. - The jacket's good. 111 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,706 I can talk to my son any way I want. 112 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,808 - Give him the clipboard. - Give me the clipboard. - No. No. 113 00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:55,149 - Clipboard belongs to the campaign manager. - I want that clipboard. 114 00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:57,485 - Go to hell. - Oh, that was ugly. 115 00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,754 - That was uncalled for. - Mmm. 116 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,921 Wow. That was, uh, a lot easier than I thought it was gonna be. 117 00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:05,987 - I can get a clipboard anywhere. - Yeah. 118 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,829 - All right. - Don't do that. 119 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,534 - I want you to run for comptroller. - What? 120 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,804 I'm gonna be your campaign manager. 121 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:23,315 We're gonna stroll right into that comptroller's office and solicit a bribe. 122 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,080 - Forget it. I am not helping you. - Deandra, we'll get this bribe... 123 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:29,144 and we'll shove it right in your brother's face. 124 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,988 - We'll screw those guys. - I would like to shove it in his face. 125 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,993 Okay. 126 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,757 Okay. Now let's get you ready for the ball, Cinderella. 127 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:42,858 - What are you doing? - The bangs, they... The five head. 128 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:48,774 Let me get this straight. You want to try and solicit a bribe? 129 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,775 Yes! 130 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,073 You want my union to back your roommate... 131 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,273 for South Philly District 37 Comptroller? 132 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,976 - Yes. Correct. - But not to win. 133 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:00,678 - It sounds illegal. - Aw, for God sakes. 134 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,085 What is with you two? Come on! 135 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:07,149 You know, like, in the movies, union guys are, like, tough and shady and shit. 136 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:10,320 - Sorry to disappoint you. - You're, like, a couple of nerds. 137 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:15,026 All right, look. Let me take you bitches to school for a second. 138 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,798 In this country, in the real world, people make money. 139 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,305 Somebody is gonna make a ton of money off my roommate. 140 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,036 - I want it to be you. - Let me make one thing perfectly clear. 141 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,635 We are not a criminal organization. 142 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:30,842 Why are you talking to me like I'm a jackass? I am not a ja... 143 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:33,681 Oh. I see what you're doin'. 144 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,883 Okay. Nobody here is a criminal. No, sir. 145 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,391 I think we're speaking the same language. 146 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,429 - Are we? - Oh, yeah. 147 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:46,659 We're being listened to. Bugged. The feds. I get it. 148 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:49,667 I read. I see movies. I understand. Okay. 149 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,726 I want you to contact me at Paddy's. 150 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,671 - I'm gonna get the ball rolling, okay? - Mm-hmm. 151 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,799 It's safe there. 152 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,208 Okay, gentlemen, sorry we couldn't work anything out. 153 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:02,179 But, uh, I'm gonna go home and pay my taxes. 154 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,443 Right? 155 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:08,681 - You want me to call the cops? - Not yet. 156 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,689 I've got a better idea. Let's screw this son of a bitch. 157 00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,748 Come on, Morris. We don't have time for this. 158 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,555 He called us nerds, Gary. 159 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,197 Nerds. 160 00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,896 Are you gonna take care of the crime problem here? 161 00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:27,928 Absolutely. I say we put 'em on busses, ship 'em over to Iraq... make 'em fight the terrorists. 162 00:08:28,006 --> 00:08:30,566 You're very handsome. 163 00:08:30,642 --> 00:08:32,633 - Thank you. - This is going very, very well, man. 164 00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:34,941 - People are really responding to me. - They love the bone structure. 165 00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:37,038 - They like the Kennedy hair. - I've been looking for you guys. 166 00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:41,051 Look, I've been thinkin', and I feel like I could be a real asset to you guys. 167 00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:43,144 - I want to help. - What? Wait, wait. 168 00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:46,622 First you wash your hands of politics. Now you want back in. 169 00:08:46,691 --> 00:08:49,125 - That's called flip-flopping. That's what Democrats do. - Hang on a second. 170 00:08:49,194 --> 00:08:51,128 Let's give the guy a chance to prove himself. 171 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:53,790 Yeah. Give me a chance. What should I do? 172 00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:55,799 "What should I do?" Strike one, buddy. 173 00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,165 You gotta bring something to the table, Mac. 174 00:08:58,236 --> 00:09:00,431 All right. Ah, check this out. 175 00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:02,837 Excuse me. Hi. 176 00:09:02,908 --> 00:09:05,536 - I couldn't help but notice your adorable baby. - Oh, thank you. 177 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:08,101 Yeah, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind... 178 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,080 if that handsome young gentleman over there kissed it. 179 00:09:10,148 --> 00:09:12,309 - Excuse me? - Oh. I'm sorry. 180 00:09:12,384 --> 00:09:15,319 He's running for District 37 Comptroller, so it's cool. 181 00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:19,153 - You know, I'd rather not. - It's good for him, and it's good for you. 182 00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:21,920 - I think you should just give me the baby. - Please leave me alone. 183 00:09:21,993 --> 00:09:23,927 Okay, lady. 184 00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:25,986 If you give me the baby, I could get it over with. 185 00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,157 - I said no! - Goddamn it! Just give me the baby! 186 00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:30,463 - Somebody help me! - Lady! Give me the ba... 187 00:09:30,535 --> 00:09:34,130 - This is campaign suicide, dude. - Let's get outta here. 188 00:09:36,141 --> 00:09:38,974 There, there, there. 189 00:09:39,044 --> 00:09:41,274 There, there, there. Take a look. 190 00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:43,337 - Got it on? Sure? - Yeah. Take a look. 191 00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:46,907 - What do you think? - I think I look like a whore. 192 00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:49,249 - I'm trying to make you sexy. - This is not sexy. 193 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:52,119 - What is this? What's this? - It's the bed look. 194 00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:54,181 The tossed look. The ruffled look. 195 00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:56,557 You look like you just got... 196 00:09:56,628 --> 00:09:58,562 Anyway, we have to convince this guy... 197 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,825 That we're a legitimate threat to his campaign. 198 00:10:00,899 --> 00:10:03,390 There is nothing more threatening to a man... 199 00:10:03,468 --> 00:10:06,232 than a woman who is smart and attractive. 200 00:10:06,304 --> 00:10:09,535 We have to pretend you're both. 201 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:11,542 Wow. You're a horrible father. 202 00:10:12,944 --> 00:10:16,175 - Let's just go. Let's get it done. - Great. Great. 203 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:19,240 Now, Daddy hates to say this, but... 204 00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:22,081 I think we should talk about the breasts. 205 00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:25,419 "Oh, don't hurt my baby." Like I'm gonna hurt somebody's baby. 206 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:27,788 You know what I mean? Goddamn Dennis. Fire me? 207 00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:30,851 - I'll fire you. - Mac. Get in. 208 00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:35,595 We got a bribe for your roommate's withdrawal from the race. 209 00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:38,636 Really? Wow. You nerds work fast. 210 00:10:38,703 --> 00:10:40,694 All right. How much did we get? 211 00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:44,299 We don't get any money until you pull your guy from the race. 212 00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:47,140 Oh. 213 00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,112 Okay, uh... 214 00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,274 That's not gonna be a problem, is it? 215 00:10:51,349 --> 00:10:53,283 No. That's not gonna be a problem. 216 00:10:53,351 --> 00:10:55,285 Better not be, Mac. 217 00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,651 Otherwise, Marvin here is gonna have to take care of you. 218 00:10:58,723 --> 00:11:00,748 Take care of me how? 219 00:11:00,825 --> 00:11:03,487 I'll probably stab you in your throat. 220 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,928 Jesus Christ! Stab me in my throat? 221 00:11:05,997 --> 00:11:09,057 - Are you serious? - Pull your guy out, Mac. 222 00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:11,364 I'm gonna pull him out. I'm gonna pull him out, Marvin. 223 00:11:11,436 --> 00:11:14,462 Marvin, I'm gonna pull him out. Okay. 224 00:11:14,539 --> 00:11:16,700 Who's the nerd now, bitch? 225 00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:19,073 That was fun. I feel like a gangster. 226 00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:21,942 Shut up, Gary. 227 00:11:23,882 --> 00:11:25,816 I'm not dropping out. 228 00:11:25,884 --> 00:11:28,910 - Bro, you have to drop out. - Why? 229 00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:31,387 I didn't wanna say this before, but you don't have Kennedy hair. 230 00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:33,481 - All right! Oh, God! - You don't have thejawline. 231 00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:36,584 - How could you say that? - If I hear one more flip-flop out of you... 232 00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:38,652 I'm gonna throw up in my mouth. 233 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,994 - You ready to do this? - I'm just doing some fine-tuning. 234 00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,966 - It looks good. - Just trying to get my tan on. 235 00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:45,195 Let's hurry. The battery on this drains like a tub. 236 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,704 What is going on in here? Are those beach towels? 237 00:11:47,772 --> 00:11:51,071 We're gonna shoot a commercial, get it on public access, get the message out. 238 00:11:51,142 --> 00:11:53,610 - It's a million-dollar bill pal. - Yeah. A million-dollar bill. 239 00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:55,612 You guys are never gonna get a bribe. 240 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,205 - It's not about the bribe anymore. - We don't care about that. 241 00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:00,513 - I could be a legitimate politician. - He's goin' to the top. 242 00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:03,213 - Really do some good in Philadelphia. - Are you listening to yourself? 243 00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:06,815 - You've never done any good for anybody ever! - I do good! I do good! 244 00:12:06,891 --> 00:12:10,054 - You never do anything! You're a loser! - You're just jealous! 245 00:12:10,128 --> 00:12:12,790 - I'm not jealous! - All right! All right! That's... 246 00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:15,230 That's no way to run a campaign, boys. 247 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,632 - Let's have the conversation outside. - All right. We'll talk outside. 248 00:12:17,702 --> 00:12:19,795 - Yeah, we'll make you happy. - You're droppin' out of that race. 249 00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:21,668 - We'll work it out. - I'm droppin' out of shit. 250 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,608 - We'll work it out. - Yeah, we'll work it out. You and me and... 251 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,668 - Did you just lock this door? - Yes, I did. 252 00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:30,180 - You are going to hell, little man! - Mmm, I don't think so. 253 00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:33,012 - That's politics, bitch. - I hate you, Charlie! 254 00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,813 - You ready? - I'm ready. - Goddamn it! 255 00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:36,877 Get in front of the flag and the million-dollar bill. 256 00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:40,186 Dude, you and my dad share this futon? 257 00:12:42,627 --> 00:12:44,822 No. 258 00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:49,390 No, we... No, we got a whole different situation worked out. 259 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:53,096 - What's the situation? - It's... I sleep on the... And... 260 00:12:53,171 --> 00:12:55,696 You got the script that I wrote? Grab the script. 261 00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,334 I've been meaning to speak to you about this. 262 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,674 I can't read these words. They're not in the right order. 263 00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:03,509 - It's good. - I think you might be dyslexic. I'm not readin' this. 264 00:13:03,581 --> 00:13:05,913 - No, no! Please. Read it. - I think you might be dyslexic. 265 00:13:05,984 --> 00:13:07,918 - Read the script. - You want me to read the script? 266 00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:10,011 - Yes. And action. - All right. 267 00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:12,955 I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello, fellow American. 268 00:13:13,024 --> 00:13:15,015 "This you should vote me. 269 00:13:15,093 --> 00:13:17,584 "I leave power. Good. 270 00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:20,460 "Thank you. Thank you. 271 00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:24,127 If you vote me, I am hot." What? 272 00:13:24,202 --> 00:13:26,966 "Taxes. They'll be lower, son. 273 00:13:27,038 --> 00:13:30,997 "The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia. 274 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,010 So do." 275 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:35,410 This doesn't make any sense. 276 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,210 Well, then just say whatever you want. 277 00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:40,751 The battery's dead. It's gone. 278 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:43,913 I gotta charge it up again. 279 00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:45,979 This one piece is makin'me nervous. 280 00:13:46,057 --> 00:13:48,048 - You seriously need to stop touching me. - This right here. 281 00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:50,720 Please stop touching me. This is really ridiculous. 282 00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,786 I'm stuffed in here like a jerk. 283 00:13:52,864 --> 00:13:55,059 - Deandra, you look sensational. - No, I don't. 284 00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:58,398 Just remember. Let Daddy do all the talkin'. 285 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:01,803 Sorry I'm late. 286 00:14:01,873 --> 00:14:04,000 - Jack Stanford. - Frank Reynolds. 287 00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:06,305 - This here is my daughter, Deandra. - Hi. 288 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,107 Hi. 289 00:14:08,179 --> 00:14:10,340 Well, I never like to keep a beautiful woman waiting. 290 00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:14,351 - Oh. Thanks. - You see, uh, Mr. Stanford... 291 00:14:14,419 --> 00:14:17,183 I myself am a problem solver... 292 00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:19,587 and you got a big problem on your hands. 293 00:14:19,657 --> 00:14:21,921 I'm afraid I'm not following. 294 00:14:21,993 --> 00:14:23,984 Check out the goods to my right. 295 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:27,259 This pretty little lady is not only my daughter. 296 00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:30,165 She happens to be your biggest opponent in the election. 297 00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,362 Beauty and the beast. 298 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:35,770 You're funny. 299 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,775 Let the men do the work here, Dee. 300 00:14:38,843 --> 00:14:41,641 Now we can make this problem go away... 301 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:45,171 before it becomes a more expensive problem... 302 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,947 if you catch my... drift. 303 00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:53,514 Are you trying to solicit a bribe from me? 304 00:14:53,591 --> 00:14:55,752 I don't know. Am I? 305 00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:57,818 'Cause if you are... 306 00:14:57,896 --> 00:15:01,423 not only is that illegal and highly unethical... 307 00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:04,491 but you're doing it with the subtlety of a baboon. 308 00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:06,867 - Let me take another approach here. - I tell you what. 309 00:15:06,938 --> 00:15:11,034 - What... - Why don't we discuss this over dinner? 310 00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:13,202 Dinner. That sounds good. 311 00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:16,270 - I was talking to her. - Look, Jack... 312 00:15:16,347 --> 00:15:18,872 my little girl don't go nowhere without her old man. 313 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:21,942 - Isn't that right, sweetie? - You're fired. 314 00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:24,352 Frank. Frankie, I gotta talk to you. 315 00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:28,524 - Not interested. - Look, man, I'm in a lot of shit here. 316 00:15:28,593 --> 00:15:31,756 - So? - I need to destroy Dennis. 317 00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:36,761 What do you have in mind? 318 00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:39,998 When Dennis Reynolds was a counselor at Camp Cumberland... 319 00:15:40,071 --> 00:15:44,269 he was sent home for the statutory rape of a teenage camper. 320 00:15:44,342 --> 00:15:47,971 A vote for Dennis Reynolds is a vote for underage rape. 321 00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:50,412 Dennis Reynolds... baby rapist. 322 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:53,383 Don't let him rape you, Philadelphia. 323 00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:58,422 - This is a goddamn smear campaign. - You raped a girl? 324 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,822 No, no. Okay. Rape? 325 00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:05,594 I was accused of... Okay, statutory, first of all. 326 00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:08,860 Not... I kissed her. She was a year younger than me. 327 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:11,925 That's not... even statutory or anything. 328 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,369 What's the note say? 329 00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:16,566 All right. Yeah. All right. 330 00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:18,609 Uh, "Meet"... 331 00:16:18,676 --> 00:16:21,474 Starts out "Meet," and then there's, like, other stuff. 332 00:16:23,348 --> 00:16:25,077 "Meet me in the parking garage. Frank." 333 00:16:25,149 --> 00:16:27,447 - Yeah? - Yeah. 334 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:29,851 You clearly have a learning disability, dude. 335 00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:32,253 - This is a trap. - It's not a trap. Go see what he wants. 336 00:16:32,323 --> 00:16:34,689 - It's a trap. - It's not a trap! Make this thing go away. 337 00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:36,750 Okay. I'll get the master. 338 00:16:39,797 --> 00:16:42,425 - Did you come alone? - Yeah. 339 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,934 Where'd you get that trench coat? 340 00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:48,234 - It's cool, huh? - It's very cool. That was a smart buy. 341 00:16:48,306 --> 00:16:51,798 - All right, you got the tape? - Affirmative. 342 00:16:51,876 --> 00:16:55,642 - Okay, what's this gonna take? - You and Dennis gotta bow out of the race. 343 00:16:55,713 --> 00:16:57,613 - Not gonna happen. - Gotta happen. 344 00:16:57,682 --> 00:17:00,150 Not gonna happen. I want that tape. 345 00:17:00,218 --> 00:17:02,152 I'm gonna need you to beg. 346 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,484 - Don't make me beg. - You gotta beg. 347 00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:06,751 - Seriously? - Seriously. Down. Down. 348 00:17:06,824 --> 00:17:08,815 All right. I know what you're talkin' about. 349 00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:13,497 - What do you say? - Please, can I have the tape now? 350 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:17,501 - No. - God! Come on, Frank. What's this gonna take? 351 00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:23,540 What the hell is that? 352 00:17:23,608 --> 00:17:26,509 Charlie traded me his whole collection... 353 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:28,603 of Garbage Pail Kids for the tape. 354 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,615 Oh, my God. This is bad. This is so bad, man. 355 00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:34,550 These things, Mac... You don't know how rare they are. 356 00:17:34,619 --> 00:17:36,780 These are rare. You can't find these. 357 00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:40,017 Bro, I am in some serious shit. I needed him to drop out. 358 00:17:40,091 --> 00:17:43,788 I don't care what you need. That is politics, bitch. 359 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,964 I wanna tell you somethin'. 360 00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:50,330 - I'm really glad you asked me out. - Me too. 361 00:17:50,401 --> 00:17:53,495 - How's that drink comin'? - Strong. 362 00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:56,369 I should really probably think about gettin' something to eat. 363 00:17:56,441 --> 00:17:58,204 Yeah. Still got a little left there. 364 00:17:58,276 --> 00:18:01,404 Not for long. 365 00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:03,709 Hey, have mine. 366 00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:06,409 Oh. You're such a gentleman. 367 00:18:06,484 --> 00:18:10,352 Are you gonna buy me some food at some point? Or... 368 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:13,083 What do you say we get outta here? 369 00:18:13,157 --> 00:18:15,387 - Oh. - Who's the slut? 370 00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,258 - Honey, this isn't what... - Another one of your whores? 371 00:18:18,329 --> 00:18:20,422 Who do you think you are... Bill Clinton? You're a comptroller. 372 00:18:20,498 --> 00:18:22,090 Did he tell you he had a wife? 373 00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:24,691 - Did he tell you that, you goddamn whore? - No. 374 00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:27,397 - Whoa! Whoa! All right. - You bitch! 375 00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:33,271 Hey! Pour me a shot there, buddy boy. I got it. 376 00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:35,335 - Oh, what'd you get? - I got the smear tape. 377 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:38,905 - Oh, hey, man. That's great. - Yes! 378 00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:42,612 Whoa. Sweet Dee. What the hell's goin' on with you? 379 00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:44,917 Screw politicians. Charlie, pour me a shot. 380 00:18:44,989 --> 00:18:47,617 No time for that. We gotta get back out on that campaign trail. 381 00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:50,923 - What do you say? - Oh, yeah. Hey, man, I was doin' some thinking about that. 382 00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:54,897 - I don't wanna do that anymore. - What? 383 00:18:54,966 --> 00:18:57,366 Oh, yeah. I googled "comptroller." 384 00:18:57,435 --> 00:19:00,199 Turns out that this guy's really just a glorified accountant. 385 00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:03,707 You know what I mean? And I hate doing math. It sounds like a ton of work. 386 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,766 - You know what I'm sayin'? I hate work. - No. 387 00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:08,505 These guys, they make less than teachers. It's a... 388 00:19:08,579 --> 00:19:11,412 - So what? - So I'm not doing it anymore. 389 00:19:11,482 --> 00:19:15,441 - No. You have to run. - No, I don't. 390 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,784 Yeah. Yeah, you do. 391 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,981 - No, I don't. - Yeah, you do. 392 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,550 No, I don't. You're not the boss of me. 393 00:19:23,628 --> 00:19:25,619 I'm the campaign manager. 394 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:28,325 You're fired. 395 00:19:28,399 --> 00:19:31,664 I traded all my Garbage Pail Kids for you. 396 00:19:31,736 --> 00:19:34,569 Well, that was stupid. 397 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:52,020 Bit of an overreaction, don't you think? 398 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,650 You look like a whore. 399 00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,425 - Psst. You come alone? - Yeah. 400 00:20:00,498 --> 00:20:02,466 Why couldn't we just meet in your apartment? 401 00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:04,501 - It's not safe. - Is that Frank's trench coat? 402 00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:06,594 - Yeah. Pretty sweet, right? - Totally sweet. 403 00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:08,605 Listen. I need your help. I'm in a lot of shit. 404 00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:11,665 - I'm listening. - I need to make Dennis disappear. 405 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,109 Ah! Ah! That's what I'm talkin' about. 406 00:20:14,178 --> 00:20:16,271 - Really? - I was thinkin' that same thing, man. 407 00:20:16,347 --> 00:20:19,214 - That's great. I know you guys have become close. - Not that close. 408 00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:21,217 How do you wanna do this thing? 409 00:20:21,285 --> 00:20:23,515 - If we use a gun, we're gonna need a silencer. - A gun? 410 00:20:23,588 --> 00:20:26,352 Fine. No guns. Piano wire. Maybe we can use some piano wire. 411 00:20:26,424 --> 00:20:28,358 Look, whatever it is... 412 00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:30,860 I gotta be the guy to pull the trigger on this thing. 413 00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:33,897 Retard. I'm talking about taking Dennis to Atlantic City... 414 00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:35,990 for a couple of days until the election is over. 415 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:38,968 What are you talkin' about? 416 00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:41,561 Atlantic City. That's good. 417 00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:43,539 Just take him down to the shore for a couple days. 418 00:20:43,608 --> 00:20:46,304 - I'll take him to the shore. We'll go to Atlantic City. - What's wrong with you? 419 00:20:46,377 --> 00:20:49,005 I give the guy my blood, sweat and tears, right? 420 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,310 And my Garbage Pail Kids. And... 421 00:20:51,382 --> 00:20:53,714 And he just drops right out of the race on me. 422 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,776 - Dennis dropped out? - He dropped right out of the race. 423 00:20:55,853 --> 00:20:58,344 So I'm out my Garbage Pail Kid... And, like... 424 00:20:58,422 --> 00:21:02,381 If we used piano wire on him for a sec... As long as we hurt him a little bit... 425 00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,257 Sorry, Charlie. Plan's off. 426 00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,319 - What are you doin'? - I'm gonna go collect my money. 427 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,831 Looks like you bitches shouldn't have fired me in the first place. 428 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,494 Are you kiddin' me? Are you kiddin' me with that? 429 00:21:11,569 --> 00:21:15,027 I'm gonna buy myself a car. I am gonna drive as far away from this goddamn city... 430 00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:17,233 Hey, Mac. Where you runnin' to? 431 00:21:17,308 --> 00:21:18,900 Huh? 432 00:21:18,976 --> 00:21:22,377 Goin' to visit your friend over at the union? 433 00:21:22,446 --> 00:21:24,971 What's goin' on? Is there a problem? 434 00:21:25,049 --> 00:21:27,313 I don't know. Phil, is there a problem? 435 00:21:27,385 --> 00:21:30,684 Conspiracy to solicit a bribe. Racketeering. 436 00:21:30,755 --> 00:21:32,689 I'd say there's a big problem. 437 00:21:32,757 --> 00:21:35,487 Your buddy over at the union came to see us recently. 438 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,427 Told us about your interest in politics. 439 00:21:38,496 --> 00:21:42,830 - He ratted you out, Mac. - Apparently, you called him a nerd, Mac. 440 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,061 Some people don't take kindly to that type of insult. 441 00:21:45,136 --> 00:21:48,196 Yeah. You're goin' away for a long time... 442 00:21:48,272 --> 00:21:50,968 and prison can be a very unpleasant place... 443 00:21:51,042 --> 00:21:53,510 for a good-lookin' young man like yourself. 444 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:55,910 Oh, yeah. They're gonna tear through you like Kleenex. 445 00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,914 That is, of course... 446 00:21:57,982 --> 00:22:01,440 unless you got something to make it worth our while. 447 00:22:03,254 --> 00:22:05,245 Are you soliciting a bribe from me? 448 00:22:07,525 --> 00:22:10,016 Sorry, pal. That's politics. 449 00:22:11,305 --> 00:22:17,292 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org