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♪ If you missed last week's show ♪
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♪ Or if you're slightly slow ♪
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♪ Here's what came previously
on "Galavant" ♪
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♪ The Princess Isabella
came searching for this fella ♪
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♪ The washed-up hero known as Galavant ♪
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♪ Now she's gotten him to lend a hand ♪
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♪ To oust the king who seized her land ♪
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♪ But zing, she's working for the king ♪
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♪ The trap's about to spring ♪
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♪ But that's not everything ♪
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♪ 'Cause our hero only came
to save his former flame ♪
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♪ Forced into marriage
with the cruel King Richard ♪
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♪ Sweet Madalena, though,
has lost her saintly glow ♪
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♪ In fact, she's tilting
pretty sharply bitchward ♪
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♪ Add the king,
who wants to win her heart ♪
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♪ And rip our hero's world apart ♪
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♪ And that is where I leave you at ♪
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♪ So hold on to your hat ♪
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♪ 'Cause here's what's next ♪
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♪ For Galava-a-a-a-nt! ♪
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We've been riding for
days. The horses need to rest.
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We'll stop here.
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My people will treat you
like a princess, Princess.
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Don't get too comfortable.
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One night, Sid. Then we hit the road.
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So, this is it, my hometown.
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A little background on the place...
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Middle-class community,
lots of sheep-sheering,
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great place to raise a family.
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That should cover it.
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Sounds lovely, Sid. One tiny question.
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- Shoot.
- What the hell is that?
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"Sidneyland"?
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Ah, you noticed that.
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All hail Sid!
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The conquering hero returns!
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Huzzah!
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- Sid.
- Yeah.
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What is happening?
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Well, I'm adopted.
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When I was a baby, an older couple
found me on their doorstep and took me in.
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You know the expression
"it takes a village"?
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No. No. No, I don't think
that's been invented yet.
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Oh. Autograph, please!
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Well, I was a golden child around here.
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And over the years, when I wrote home,
I may have exaggerated a bit.
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Mm!
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Oh, I wish you were my cousin
so I could marry you.
49
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Aw, that's so sweet!
50
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I know this is unusual, but
it would mean the world to me
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if you could go along with this
for just one night.
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Play along? Do you mean, like, act?
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Did you know that my
hometown of Valencia
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is famous for two things...
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Our cabbage festival
and our theater program.
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So, worst place ever.
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You should have just said
"worst place ever."
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Every night, we'd gather
around the town elder tree
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with nothing but the power
of our imaginations.
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Sometimes, we wouldn't even
have a script that night.
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So we'd have to find our characters
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over the course of many,
many hours of theater.
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You sure you want to save this place?
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Sid, I'm in.
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Get ready. My parents are a lot.
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- Of what?
- Everything.
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Oh, and one more thing.
They think you're my squire.
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What did he say?
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- Bubbala!
- My boy!
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- Oh!
- Oh!
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Come in! Come in!
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- You kids must be starving.
- Famished.
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Glad to hear it. Get plucking, squire.
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Terrific.
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Come on, Jester! Do the bit that I wrote!
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You guys are going to love this.
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It feels a little inappropriate,
considering the circumstances.
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Just do the bit.
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Please, sir.
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Do the bit.
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Hey, Valencians.
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How many Valencians
does it take to win a war?
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How many?
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More than you had.
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Oh, have mercy.
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I'm bored. I'm leaving.
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Oh, my wife.
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Now, I know we've had our ups and downs.
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Why, just a few days ago,
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you made me cry so hard
I could barely breathe.
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Tell her, Gareth.
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Eight hours of my life I can't get back.
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I mean, but that's our thing.
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That's us. I'm not giving up on us.
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- I want you to give up.
- No.
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- Please give up.
- You can't make me.
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God, everyone's in such moods.
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King and queen of Valencia, step forward.
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Let me ask you...
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Before I invaded, pillaged,
and destroyed your kingdom,
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what did you people
do around here for fun?
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We used to sit around the elder tree
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for hours and hours of
spontaneous, unscripted theater.
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Oof.
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You cut down the elder tree.
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- I did?
- You turned it into toothpicks.
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Well played. You're dismissed.
108
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Mm! Eunuch, front and center.
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Help me out.
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What else did you do around here for fun?
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I don't know. We, uh, used to have balls.
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Gareth, did you hear what the eunuch said?
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You cannot write this stuff!
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You sure can't!
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You know, I've always been curious.
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Do you still have any feeling, you know...
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Down there?
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- No, sir.
- Really?
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Gareth, go take a whack at the eunuch.
120
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Lovely.
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Spread 'em.
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That is amazing!
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Gareth, isn't that amazing?
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It's really cool!
125
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Everyone, line up.
Take a free shot at the eunuch.
126
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You know, honey,
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let's throw these poor bastards a ball,
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breathe some life back into the place,
get some food and music and entertainment.
129
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I should probably start working
up a routine with the Jester...
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- In my bedchamber, where it's quiet.
- That's the spirit!
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Now, I don't want either one
of you to leave your bedchamber
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until you've worked out a complete set.
133
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Oh, I think I have a set
the Jester can work with.
134
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Fantastic!
135
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Oh, this is going to be such a hoot!
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Oh, come on, people!
137
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Don't pull your punches! Have fun with it!
138
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Get creative!
139
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Tickle, tickle, tickle!
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Nothing.
141
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Your loss is our gain. And we thank you.
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Our Sidney.
143
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So handsome!
144
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We bought him that armor
for his 16th birthday.
145
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Cost us a fortune.
146
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Sid, eat, eat. Y-you're wasting away!
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I'm fine, mother.
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Just humor me.
149
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Squire?
150
00:06:24,362 --> 00:06:25,694
Squire!
151
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:27,047
Oh, right. That's me.
152
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Don't tell me your squire
is as dimwitted as our squire.
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I think he may be.
154
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You've got nice teeth.
155
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So, tell us about
your new lady friend, Sid.
156
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Uh, father, this is Princess Isabella.
157
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A princess?
158
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That's my boy!
159
00:06:48,726 --> 00:06:50,095
Oh, uh, Princess Isabella isn...
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Oh, the first time I saw your son,
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it was a dark and cloudy day,
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but your son with an "O"
was my sun with a "U."
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We don't know how to read.
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Not a word.
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We're engaged.
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This just took a fun turn.
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Engaged?!
168
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Mazel tov!
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00:07:12,907 --> 00:07:14,688
I can't believe it!
170
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We have to celebrate.
171
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Oh, great. Another musical number.
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Everyone, come see my son, the knight!
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♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
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♪ Gather 'round, you peasants ♪
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♪ Look who's graced us with his presence ♪
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- ♪ What a hero ♪
- ♪ What a mensch ♪
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00:07:32,269 --> 00:07:34,190
♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
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00:07:34,215 --> 00:07:35,807
♪ Plus, the kid's on fire ♪
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00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:37,781
♪ With a big farkakte squire ♪
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00:07:37,806 --> 00:07:40,284
♪ And a little shiksa wench ♪
181
00:07:40,309 --> 00:07:43,776
♪ Oy, what a knight,
God, is he to die for ♪
182
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:47,731
♪ Any girl would give an eye
for such a hunk of kosher meat ♪
183
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:50,217
♪ oy, what a knight ♪
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00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,763
♪ Handsome ♪
♪ and a charmer ♪
185
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:53,650
♪ Is it true that 'neath that armor... ♪
186
00:07:53,651 --> 00:07:56,119
♪ Shh, he likes to be discreet ♪
187
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♪ Speaking as his rabbi,
why am I not surprised? ♪
188
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♪ Our Sidney is the knight who
put the "sir" in "circumcised" ♪
189
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,999
♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
190
00:08:06,024 --> 00:08:07,694
♪ So, how's the business going? ♪
191
00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:09,873
♪ You know, jousting, tally-ho-ing ♪
192
00:08:09,898 --> 00:08:12,303
♪ Saving damsels in distress ♪
193
00:08:12,328 --> 00:08:14,050
♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
194
00:08:14,075 --> 00:08:16,025
Oh! Did I mention slaying?
195
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:17,696
I did lots of it. Just saying.
196
00:08:17,721 --> 00:08:20,224
- ♪ That's our Sidney, the success ♪
- Hey!
197
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,994
♪ What a gorgeous family,
your Sid can do no wrong ♪
198
00:08:24,019 --> 00:08:28,001
♪ Who knew he came
from such a lovely home? ♪
199
00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:32,171
♪ Of course I'll be converting,
so I'm sure we'll get along ♪
200
00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:33,163
Honey, please!
201
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:35,827
♪ You had me at "shalom" ♪
202
00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:38,014
♪ Oy, what a squire ♪
203
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,997
- ♪ So tell us 'bout sir Sidney ♪
- No.
204
00:08:40,022 --> 00:08:41,905
- ♪ He saved your live once, didn't he? ♪
- No.
205
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:43,140
- ♪ So, twice? Thrice?
- No. No.
206
00:08:43,165 --> 00:08:43,888
♪ Do share ♪
207
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:46,305
- ♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
♪ Oy, what a ♪
208
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:47,824
♪ Diddle, deedle, didle ♪
209
00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:49,764
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's my idol ♪
210
00:08:49,789 --> 00:08:51,808
♪ He's adored by one and all ♪
211
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:55,792
- You guys!
- ♪ And so, tonight, to honor our crusader ♪
212
00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:57,734
♪ You are all invited later ♪
213
00:08:57,759 --> 00:09:00,232
♪ To a fancy-schmancy ball ♪
214
00:09:00,257 --> 00:09:02,225
♪ Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy ♪
215
00:09:02,226 --> 00:09:03,551
♪ Oy, yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy ♪
216
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,515
♪ Oy, what a knight ♪
217
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,840
Oy, what a knight! Hey!
218
00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:09,606
Oy vey.
219
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:14,433
My God.
220
00:09:15,319 --> 00:09:17,894
Lot of dolls for a boy.
221
00:09:18,163 --> 00:09:20,691
I don't think they've changed
anything in here since he was 12.
222
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,001
Oh, they love him. I think it's sweet.
223
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:25,164
Aren't you sugar and spice
and everything nice?
224
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:28,292
Well, aren't you rudeness
and sarcasm and everything...
225
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,511
- Um...
- No, go on.
226
00:09:30,993 --> 00:09:33,960
You find something that rhymes
with "sarcasm" and makes sense,
227
00:09:33,985 --> 00:09:35,066
and I'll take the floor tonight.
228
00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:36,618
You know what? I think...
229
00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:40,359
So, this is getting a little
bigger than I anticipated.
230
00:09:40,384 --> 00:09:44,079
They have a certain image of me,
and I am just so sorry.
231
00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:46,018
- There's no need to apologize.
- What?
232
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:49,695
Sid, the feldman boy
wants to draw you,
233
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,326
and we need that squire of yours
to help set up the party!
234
00:09:53,351 --> 00:09:55,420
Coming, mom!
235
00:09:55,445 --> 00:09:58,288
Just... just please? Please?
236
00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:02,011
I'll be damned if I'm working
a ball in my squire's honor.
237
00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:06,822
Always about you, isn't it, Galavant?
238
00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,884
I'm on a journey
to save your kingdom, aren't I?
239
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,183
You're on a journey to get your girl back.
240
00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:13,312
At least let's not lie
to each other about that.
241
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:17,003
You know what? You stay detached
and apathetic, Galavant.
242
00:10:17,028 --> 00:10:18,321
You do it quite well.
243
00:10:18,346 --> 00:10:21,316
And whilst you do, I will put on
my pretty purple dress
244
00:10:21,341 --> 00:10:24,303
for my new friend and pretend
to be his bride-to-be.
245
00:10:24,328 --> 00:10:26,546
And maybe that makes me
all sugar and spice
246
00:10:26,571 --> 00:10:28,660
and everything nice, but Lord
knows I much prefer that
247
00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:31,279
over rudeness and sarcasm and back spasms!
248
00:10:32,188 --> 00:10:33,225
Bit of a stretch.
249
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,924
I trained in monologues, not poetry!
250
00:10:40,324 --> 00:10:43,609
"I'm so jealous of the girl
who gets to be your wife.
251
00:10:43,634 --> 00:10:44,711
Love, mom."
252
00:10:52,795 --> 00:10:54,894
Hey, Gareth, did you see how excited
253
00:10:54,919 --> 00:10:56,393
Madalena got about this party?
254
00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,343
I should have shown her
my magnanimous side weeks ago.
255
00:10:59,569 --> 00:11:01,923
Speaking of wifey,
is she still locked up there
256
00:11:01,948 --> 00:11:03,829
banging out jokes with the Jester?
257
00:11:04,124 --> 00:11:06,903
I suspect they're banging out
a few things, yes, sir.
258
00:11:07,050 --> 00:11:08,044
Wonderful.
259
00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:11,929
Ooh, my chef! Talk to me, kiddo.
260
00:11:11,954 --> 00:11:14,934
Uh, uh, oh, well, my... my research shows
261
00:11:14,959 --> 00:11:17,939
that the Valencians have
religious aversions to meat,
262
00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:20,819
and they live almost entirely
off their own crops.
263
00:11:21,605 --> 00:11:22,749
How resourceful.
264
00:11:22,774 --> 00:11:24,376
It was, My King.
265
00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,451
Unfortunately, you burned all
their crops during the invasion.
266
00:11:27,476 --> 00:11:29,275
- Yeah?
- You set their fields ablaze
267
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,149
and... and announced
to all the lands, uh...
268
00:11:32,635 --> 00:11:35,145
"Ooh, yeah. Take that, Valencia."
269
00:11:35,448 --> 00:11:37,944
You kept only a small portion
of vegetables for yourself.
270
00:11:37,969 --> 00:11:39,416
Oh, of course...
271
00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,174
The carrot getting stuck in the teeth.
272
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:43,557
That's why I needed
to have the toothpicks made.
273
00:11:43,582 --> 00:11:45,574
Tell you what. Let's table this
for the time being.
274
00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:46,752
We'll work something else out.
275
00:11:46,777 --> 00:11:50,393
So, Gareth, have you found me
any musicians?
276
00:11:50,394 --> 00:11:53,557
Well, unfortunately,
we executed all their musicians,
277
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,463
but I've improvised.
278
00:11:56,102 --> 00:11:57,209
These are our executioners,
279
00:11:57,234 --> 00:11:59,934
and this geezer
is really good on the drums.
280
00:12:01,149 --> 00:12:03,139
Oh, wonderful. What songs
do you know how to play?
281
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:11,080
Hmm?
282
00:12:11,309 --> 00:12:13,002
It is catchy. I'll give you that.
283
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,884
It's not quite right, though.
What else do you know?
284
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:19,276
Uh, we... we mainly
just know death, My King.
285
00:12:19,301 --> 00:12:22,586
Chef, I've killed...
Most of your family, right?
286
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,885
Wiped them out all out, My King.
287
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:27,029
Excellent. Tell me, what does a
person do just before they die?
288
00:12:27,030 --> 00:12:28,587
Well, my father cried.
289
00:12:28,612 --> 00:12:30,428
A lot of them do weep, actually.
290
00:12:30,453 --> 00:12:32,106
- And they wet theirselves.
- Oh.
291
00:12:32,131 --> 00:12:33,538
- Also true. Yeah.
- Yeah.
292
00:12:33,563 --> 00:12:35,321
Well, this already sounds like a song.
293
00:12:35,346 --> 00:12:37,145
- It just needs the dancing part.
- Mm.
294
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,151
I want a solid beat, but keep it peppy.
295
00:12:40,244 --> 00:12:42,112
Ah. How about this?
296
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:45,881
A-one, two, a-one, two, three, four.
297
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:54,857
Big finish.
298
00:12:58,748 --> 00:13:00,353
You know what? That is really close.
299
00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:02,465
But let's just keep workshopping it, okay?
300
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,034
You'll be great.
301
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,362
Well, another party for the fancy
folk that get to bathe once a month.
302
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,994
Oh, that reminds me.
303
00:13:16,248 --> 00:13:18,996
Did you hear about the knight
that got off his high horse?
304
00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:20,998
- No.
- Me, neither.
305
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:28,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
306
00:13:32,796 --> 00:13:34,257
Knights suck.
307
00:13:34,282 --> 00:13:35,833
They're not all that bad, are they?
308
00:13:36,647 --> 00:13:38,662
- Sure, they are!
- Worse, even!
309
00:13:39,095 --> 00:13:42,652
♪ Your average knight in armor,
he's utterly the pits ♪
310
00:13:42,652 --> 00:13:46,121
♪ His ego's so humongous
that his helmet barely fits ♪
311
00:13:46,123 --> 00:13:49,926
♪ He wears two tons of padding
and thinks he's quite the man ♪
312
00:13:49,927 --> 00:13:53,530
♪ He's nothing but a jackass
in a fancy metal can ♪
313
00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:55,365
♪ A jackass in a can ♪
314
00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:57,033
♪ There's nothing worser than ♪
315
00:13:57,034 --> 00:14:00,203
♪ Some high-and-mighty jackass in a can ♪
316
00:14:02,532 --> 00:14:04,087
My master hasn't had a sip of his grog
317
00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:05,693
without my spit in it in years.
318
00:14:05,718 --> 00:14:07,143
I've got him craving it now.
319
00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:09,612
I gave it to him once without,
and he said it didn't taste right.
320
00:14:12,683 --> 00:14:15,018
So... what about your knight?
321
00:14:15,019 --> 00:14:16,219
As bad as ours?
322
00:14:16,941 --> 00:14:19,222
Oh, uh... yeah, sure.
323
00:14:20,858 --> 00:14:22,725
There's all that fame and glory?
324
00:14:22,726 --> 00:14:24,227
The smell, though, not so great.
325
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,305
And then, those big, long lances.
326
00:14:26,330 --> 00:14:28,164
Yeah, to overcompensate.
327
00:14:28,165 --> 00:14:29,833
The glamour and swagger?
328
00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:31,701
Yeah, I'm really not a fan.
329
00:14:31,702 --> 00:14:33,643
- He's quite a...
- Major Dillweed.
330
00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:35,505
♪ In a fancy metal can ♪
331
00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,340
♪ A Dillweed in a can ♪
332
00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:39,175
♪ There's nothing lamer than ♪
333
00:14:39,176 --> 00:14:42,512
♪ A condescending Dillweed in a can ♪
334
00:14:42,513 --> 00:14:44,247
And who does all the planning?
335
00:14:44,248 --> 00:14:46,482
- Yeah. Who does all the work?
- True.
336
00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:47,985
♪ Who gets no vacation? ♪
337
00:14:48,010 --> 00:14:50,185
- ♪ Not one pay raise, not one perk ♪
- Good point.
338
00:14:50,187 --> 00:14:53,423
Whose lousy insurance
comes without a dental plan?
339
00:14:53,424 --> 00:14:55,205
♪ Your average, humble squire? ♪
340
00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:57,026
Not the meathead in the can!
341
00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:59,028
♪ That jerkface in a can ♪
342
00:14:59,029 --> 00:15:00,960
♪ There's nothing sadder than ♪
343
00:15:00,985 --> 00:15:02,922
♪ Some over-muscled, chauvinistic ♪
344
00:15:02,947 --> 00:15:04,717
♪ Self-indulgent, egotistic ♪
345
00:15:04,742 --> 00:15:06,536
♪ Stingy, prissy, narcississy ♪
346
00:15:06,537 --> 00:15:11,207
♪ Jackass in a can ♪
347
00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:14,043
Oh, my God. That's me.
348
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:22,118
Really hoping for better turnout.
349
00:15:22,119 --> 00:15:24,887
This is everyone we have left.
350
00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:28,124
100% turnout! Fantastic!
351
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,139
Oh, good, you're here.
352
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:34,397
Babe, can you believe
what I've thrown together?
353
00:15:34,703 --> 00:15:36,890
You're really feeling
King Richard the magnanimous
354
00:15:36,915 --> 00:15:38,932
right now, aren't you, huh? Hmm?
355
00:15:38,957 --> 00:15:41,404
Okay, I know you two
have been working really hard.
356
00:15:41,405 --> 00:15:43,907
Jester, they are primed and ready,
so get your jingly bells up on that stage.
357
00:15:43,932 --> 00:15:45,605
Come on, darling. Let's go.
358
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,743
Oh, thanks for putting in
the work, darling.
359
00:15:47,744 --> 00:15:51,466
You know, this is nice,
us co-hosting like this.
360
00:15:51,491 --> 00:15:53,582
We need to find more activities
we can do together.
361
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,802
Am I right?
362
00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:57,441
Hello, Valencia!
Here's one for you.
363
00:15:57,466 --> 00:16:00,055
Why did the chicken cross the road?
364
00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:00,834
Why?
365
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:03,392
Don't ask me. Ask the chicken!
366
00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:08,974
Ah, well, that's the end of my set,
so thank you all, and good night!
367
00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:11,520
What the hell, man?
368
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:13,669
We thought we should leave them
wanting more.
369
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:16,496
Oh. I guess I buy that.
370
00:16:17,566 --> 00:16:19,975
Valencians, who's hungry?
371
00:16:19,976 --> 00:16:21,151
Me. Me. Me. Me.
372
00:16:21,176 --> 00:16:23,063
Oh, of course you are, my darlings.
373
00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:25,314
Now, as you know,
I've burnt all your crops...
374
00:16:25,315 --> 00:16:26,870
...But what
you don't know is that
375
00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,118
I saved a healthy portion for me.
376
00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:31,563
But if you can't have vegetables,
377
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,756
then neither shall I.
378
00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:41,093
Oh, I see it now.
That was a horrible idea.
379
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:45,616
And now, for your listening
pleasure, the executioners!
380
00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:53,178
♪ It's time to face the reaper ♪
381
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:56,057
♪ You're on your way to hell ♪
382
00:16:56,082 --> 00:17:00,883
♪ Prepare to kiss
this mortal coil goodbye ♪
383
00:17:02,218 --> 00:17:03,619
♪ But while you have the chance ♪
384
00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:05,227
♪ You might as well just dance ♪
385
00:17:05,252 --> 00:17:07,689
♪ Dance, dance, dance until you die ♪
386
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,458
Everybody, boogie!
387
00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:11,159
♪ Your eyes will soon be bulging ♪
388
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,494
♪ You'll beg and scream, as well ♪
389
00:17:12,495 --> 00:17:14,997
♪ You'll break down
like a baby girl and cry ♪
390
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:24,306
Congratulations, Sid.
391
00:17:24,307 --> 00:17:25,407
Thank you!
392
00:17:25,553 --> 00:17:29,087
We are so proud of you, Sidney.
393
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:34,016
Every father dreams of his son
being greater than he is,
394
00:17:34,017 --> 00:17:35,918
but no father dreams this big.
395
00:17:35,943 --> 00:17:37,786
Oh, thanks, dad.
396
00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:40,110
Just want to make you proud.
397
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:41,757
- Gloria...
- Oh!
398
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:45,327
If I didn't know any better, I would
think that you were the princess.
399
00:17:46,662 --> 00:17:49,097
Sid, she's a keeper!
400
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,766
Mwah!
401
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:53,519
We're so excited about
our wedding, aren't we, Sid?
402
00:17:53,563 --> 00:17:55,663
Yay! There's much to plan.
403
00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:58,295
You're going to look so handsome
in your armor.
404
00:18:01,890 --> 00:18:04,327
♪ Do the strangulation ♪
405
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,280
♪ Do the asphyxiation ♪
406
00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:10,187
♪ Do the burn at the stake ♪
407
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,764
♪ While you shimmy-shimmy-shake ♪
408
00:18:13,942 --> 00:18:15,453
♪ Dance, dance ♪
409
00:18:15,478 --> 00:18:16,929
♪ Dance, dance ♪
410
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:19,761
♪ Dance, dance, dance until you die ♪
411
00:18:19,762 --> 00:18:21,863
♪ Dance, dance ♪
412
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:36,267
♪ Dance,
dance, dance until... ♪
413
00:18:36,292 --> 00:18:37,368
Stop!
414
00:18:39,183 --> 00:18:41,021
You guys aren't having any fun, are you?
415
00:18:41,195 --> 00:18:42,651
Time of my life.
416
00:18:42,652 --> 00:18:43,985
I'm so hungry!
417
00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:45,120
Come on.
418
00:18:45,513 --> 00:18:47,255
Pick any adjective to describe this ball.
419
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:49,290
It's all right!
420
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:50,678
Safe throne room.
421
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,509
- Ill-conceived.
- Okay.
422
00:18:53,848 --> 00:18:55,463
A little shortsighted.
423
00:18:55,464 --> 00:18:56,965
See, that's what I'm talking about!
424
00:18:56,966 --> 00:19:00,301
Come on! Do some more!
Wait. Do me. Come on.
425
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,299
Tell me what you think of me. Roast away.
426
00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:03,370
Pompous.
427
00:19:03,395 --> 00:19:05,607
It's true! I am! Always have been!
428
00:19:05,608 --> 00:19:07,142
Ridiculous!
429
00:19:07,143 --> 00:19:09,010
Well, finally, somebody said it.
430
00:19:09,011 --> 00:19:10,979
Stupidest king in all the land!
431
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,129
How dare you?
432
00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,317
He's wearing tights!
433
00:19:16,318 --> 00:19:18,286
Oh, yes, I'm
wearing tights! I'm so dainty!
434
00:19:19,847 --> 00:19:23,691
He'd have to be blind not to know that his
wife's getting it on with the Jester!
435
00:19:30,844 --> 00:19:32,233
Am I right?!
436
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,107
Party's over.
437
00:19:37,123 --> 00:19:38,539
And, Gareth, kill the eunuch.
438
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,181
A word, my... liege.
439
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,851
Mm-hmm. Excuse me.
440
00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:51,698
Squires.
441
00:19:52,913 --> 00:19:55,731
You have no idea
how mortified I am, sir.
442
00:19:55,756 --> 00:19:58,674
- I promise that tomorrow, I'm...
- Do you know why I hired you, Sid?
443
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,733
I assumed you'd lost a bet.
444
00:20:02,839 --> 00:20:04,164
Everyone else filled their résumés
445
00:20:04,189 --> 00:20:06,300
with skills that would impress me...
446
00:20:06,301 --> 00:20:09,087
Horse-shoeing or sword-sharpening.
447
00:20:09,638 --> 00:20:12,306
But you were yourself.
You told me who you were...
448
00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:14,680
A late sleeper and a lover of dolls.
449
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:18,146
Figurines. Detailed figurines.
450
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,214
Right, so, fancy dolls.
451
00:20:20,527 --> 00:20:23,100
But anyway, the point is,
it's the hardest thing in the world
452
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:27,321
to find someone who is true to themselves,
and it's the thing I love most about you.
453
00:20:27,677 --> 00:20:29,545
- Did you just say you...
- Don't ruin this.
454
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:32,421
It occurs to me that being a squire
455
00:20:32,446 --> 00:20:34,446
isn't a great job to begin with.
456
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:37,477
And being mine is probably worse.
457
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:38,963
But you never complained.
458
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:39,903
Not once.
459
00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:42,603
You never abandoned me,
never spit in my ale.
460
00:20:44,106 --> 00:20:46,826
- Right? You've never done that.
- Of course not, sir.
461
00:20:47,156 --> 00:20:50,805
Look, I'll play any part you
want me to play here.
462
00:20:51,161 --> 00:20:53,748
But you should be proud
of the man you are.
463
00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:55,316
I know I certainly am.
464
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:03,724
What was that?
465
00:21:04,152 --> 00:21:08,295
That, my lady, was a knight
getting off his high horse.
466
00:21:09,798 --> 00:21:13,231
Mom, dad, there's something
I need to tell you.
467
00:21:13,474 --> 00:21:15,836
Well, I'll be damned.
468
00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,352
I wouldn't drink that.
469
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,273
Well, why not?
I've already drunk half of it.
470
00:21:20,264 --> 00:21:22,037
Yeah, just carry on. It's fine.
470
00:21:23,305 --> 00:22:23,199
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