﻿1
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Galavant - 01x01
pilot

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narrator: ♪ Way back in days of old ♪

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♪ There was a legend told ♪

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♪ About a hero known as Galavant ♪

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♪ Square jaw and perfect hair ♪

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♪ Cojones out to there ♪

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♪ There was no hero quite like Galavant ♪

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♪ Tough, plus every other manly value ♪

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♪ Mess with him, he'll disembowel you ♪

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♪ Yay, he ruled in every way ♪

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♪ A fairy-tale cliché ♪

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♪ And people called him Galavant ♪

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[Horse neighs] [Cheering]

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Man: There he is!

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♪ The man we're speaking of,
he had a lady love ♪

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♪ And Madalena, she was one fair maiden ♪

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♪ Long legs and perfect skin ♪

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♪ A body built for sin ♪

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♪ With cleavage you could hold
a whole parade in ♪

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♪ Ah, true love was never this ecstatic ♪

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♪ Nor as wildly acrobatic ♪

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♪ Yes, he loved her to excess ♪

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♪ Thrice daily, more or less ♪
♪ And she'd be screaming ♪

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♪ Galavant! ♪

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[Laughs]

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- ♪ One tiny problem ♪
- Look.

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[Chuckling]

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♪ Soon would arise ♪ [Squealing]

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♪ Richard, a nearby king
of wealth and stature ♪

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♪ He watched Madalena, lust in his eyes ♪

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♪ And he asked her for her hand ♪

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♪ Well, more like a demand ♪

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♪Well, more like had his
henchmen snatch her ♪

34
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No!
Galavant, help!

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♪ Which brings us to today ♪

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♪ The royal wedding day ♪

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♪ No one can stop it now but Galavant ♪

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♪ Poor Madalena waits
behind King Richard's gates ♪

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♪ For the arrival of her Galavant ♪

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♪ Now, at last begins our true adventure ♪

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♪ Epic, wild, a real butt-clencher! ♪

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♪ So, huzzah and tally ho! ♪

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♪ Sit back and here we go ♪

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♪ Attend the tale of ♪

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♪ Galava-a-a-a-nt! ♪

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Is everything all right... My Princess?

47
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Yes, My King.

48
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[Chuckling] I should think so.

49
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In a few moments, we shall marry,

50
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and you will instantly become the richest,

51
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most powerful woman in the land.

52
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Yes, My King. Very exciting.

53
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And then... tonight...

54
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You will join me in my bed.

55
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Yes, My King.

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We're going to do it! [Snaps fingers]

57
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Yes.

58
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We're not going to just sit
in bed and open gifts

59
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and talk about how much fun
the wedding was, okay?

60
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We're... doing... it.

61
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Yep.

62
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My lady.

63
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I mean, of course, we're
going to open<i> some</i> presents,

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- but then we're going to do it.
- Got it.

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Ohh!

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Ugh!

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Ohh! Aah!

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Aah!

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♪ By all the stars above,
I'll save my one true love ♪

70
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Hey, look! Oh, wow! It's him!

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Both: ♪ it's gala... ♪

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[Both groan]

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[Grunts] [Grunts]

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[Groans] ♪ I shall not be
denied until she's by my side ♪

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I suggest you fall.

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[Moans]

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Thanks!

78
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And so, on this glorious day,

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we celebrate the union
of our greatest king!

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Galavant: So sorry to interrupt.

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My lady.

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All right, all right.
[Chuckling] Hold on.

83
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Now, Gareth and I could surely
fight all night to an even draw,

84
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if that's what you want.

85
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Hell, you can even send
all your men to help him,

86
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if you so desire.

87
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But I'll fend them all off.

88
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'Cause here's the thing.

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I love her, Richard.

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She's the first thing
I think of in the morning

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and the last thing I think of in the eve.

92
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And you can offer her great fame,

93
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and you can offer her great fortune,

94
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but...

95
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Only I can offer her

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great love.

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And that is what she chooses.

98
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Actually...

99
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Hmm?

100
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I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about
it ever since he kidnapped me, and...

101
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I'm gonna go with the fame and fortune.

102
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- Yes!
- Seems like an easier life, you know?

103
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Oh, I'm really sorry, Gal.
I hope we can be friends.

104
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[Groans]

105
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Mm.

106
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- Hold that thought, darling.
- Mm.

107
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Good night, sweet prince.

108
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[Tap] Oh.

109
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[Scoffs] Damn it, Gareth.

110
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Would you just do that for me, please?

111
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Night-night.

112
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Good morning... sir.

113
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[Groans]

114
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I see we're getting
an early start this morning.

115
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Oh, what do you want, Sid?

116
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Sir... when you hired me
to be your squire,

117
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it was<i> the</i> most exciting thing
to ever happen to me.

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- Mm.
- Best squireship in the land.

119
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My parents completely plotzed.

120
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But ever since Madalena...

121
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- <i>Don't</i> say her name.
- Right.

122
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There's someone here to see you.

123
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She brings with her an opportunity.

124
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I would beg you to meet with her.

125
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- Sid, I'm not seeing anyone.
- And here she is... may I present

126
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the Princess Isabella Maria
Lucia "Elisabeeta"...

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- "Betta."
- ...Betta of Valencia.

128
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[Sighs] Well, that's a mouthful.

129
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Uh-huh.

130
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[Sighs]

131
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[Inhales sharply] Sir Galavant,

132
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I have traveled long and far
to seek your favor.

133
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Four months ago, my peaceful
kingdom of Valencia...

134
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I'm sorry. What is that smell?

135
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That would be me. [Sighs]

136
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Four months ago,

137
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my peaceful kingdom of Valencia
fell under attack from a rival land.

138
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[Groans]

139
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My people were taken captive.

140
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My entire family either killed
or imprisoned.

141
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Oh, that's terrible. That's just terrible.

142
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Still, you've got a nice way about you.

143
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I'm sure you'll land on your feet.

144
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Nice meeting you. Door's on the wall.

145
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[Sniffs]

146
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Before being captured,
my father hid me in the cellar

147
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and handed me the priceless
Jewel of Valencia.

148
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I hid in that cellar for months

149
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as my family was slaughtered above me.

150
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I now offer you this priceless jewel,

151
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all that my country has left to offer.

152
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I throw myself at your mercy,
Sir Galavant!

153
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Please...

154
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Save my people.

155
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[Sighs]

156
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Sorry. I got distracted.

157
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What did you say after I said, "nice
meeting you. Door's on the wall"?

158
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You're no hero. Who are you?

159
00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:14,168
Oh, I'm nobody, princess.

160
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♪ Where is the gallant knight ♪

161
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♪ Who stood for truth and right? ♪

162
00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:23,111
♪ The Valiant dragon-slayer Galavant? ♪

163
00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:25,547
♪ Where is his steely gaze? ♪

164
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♪ The abs the poets praise? ♪

165
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♪ Whatever happened to that Galavant? ♪

166
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♪ The man you're searching for ♪

167
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♪ Lost all he loved, and more ♪

168
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♪ His hope, his pride,
all sense of Galavant ♪

169
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♪ Add to that losing streak,
a couple kegs a week ♪

170
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- ♪ Plus 20 pounds, ta-da! ♪
- [Gasps] No!

171
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- Yep.
- But you're...

172
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- [Belches]
- ♪ Still, you have to! ♪

173
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- No, I don't.
- But...

174
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- See ya!
- Wait!

175
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♪ How will I... ♪

176
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♪ No idea ♪

177
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- Please!
- No.

178
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- ♪ I'm begging on my knees ♪
- Bye-bye!

179
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- ♪ I'll pay whatever fee ♪
- You're still here?

180
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♪ We're lost without you, Gala... ♪

181
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[Gasps]

182
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That man is an animal!

183
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W-wait, wait, wait, wait!

184
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Princess Isabella Maria Lucia
"Elisabeet... " Bet...

185
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Princess?

186
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Advertise your product or brand here
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187
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Jester: Banana.

188
00:08:24,239 --> 00:08:25,740
Banana who?

189
00:08:25,741 --> 00:08:27,241
Banana.

190
00:08:27,242 --> 00:08:28,309
Banana who?

191
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Orange.

192
00:08:29,511 --> 00:08:31,178
Orange who?

193
00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:32,947
"Orange" you glad
I didn't say "banana" again?

194
00:08:32,948 --> 00:08:33,981
[Laughs]

195
00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:35,116
[Bells jingle] Whoa!

196
00:08:35,117 --> 00:08:37,918
Another wonderful routine, Jester.

197
00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:39,353
I'm not seeing it, baby.

198
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:43,758
Perhaps his humor
flies over your head, then.

199
00:08:44,415 --> 00:08:47,850
Honestly, Gareth, I don't know
what she sees in him.

200
00:08:51,462 --> 00:08:53,434
No idea, My King.

201
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:56,437
Well, I will go and compliment the Jester.

202
00:08:56,438 --> 00:08:57,938
[Clears throat]

203
00:08:57,939 --> 00:08:59,940
And while I do, husband,

204
00:08:59,941 --> 00:09:02,776
perhaps you can make some progress
convincing the king and queen of Valencia

205
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- to tell you where their jewel is hidden.
- I've tried everything.

206
00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:07,448
Mm-hmm.

207
00:09:07,449 --> 00:09:10,275
Galavant would <i> not</i> stand for this.

208
00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,986
- What did you just say?
- I<i> said,</i>

209
00:09:12,988 --> 00:09:17,791
"Galavant would not have stood for this"!

210
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,626
See, that's what I thought you said.

211
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:22,129
I just wanted clarification. Thank you.

212
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,299
Find me the jewel, would you, dear?

213
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,634
Of course, darling.

214
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,137
Jester, um...

215
00:09:30,138 --> 00:09:32,573
Join me in my chamber, would you?

216
00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:38,165
I'd love to learn a little more
about how you, uh... craft a joke.

217
00:09:39,247 --> 00:09:41,415
Ooh!

218
00:09:41,416 --> 00:09:44,351
She really gets a kick
out of that damn Jester.

219
00:09:44,352 --> 00:09:46,687
I don't know. Maybe it<i> is</i> all
going over my head.

220
00:09:46,688 --> 00:09:49,022
Oh, it's definitely going
over your head, sir.

221
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,191
[Clattering]

222
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,167
[Lid creaks]

223
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,106
A midday snack, My King?

224
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:07,708
Come up here.

225
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,882
What happened to the other chef?

226
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:19,920
Looked just like you,
but... older, more wrinkly.

227
00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:21,121
My father?

228
00:10:21,122 --> 00:10:22,956
Right. What happened to him?

229
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,358
- You had him killed, sir.
- Hmm?

230
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,893
Your mutton was too rare.

231
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,062
Well, that doesn't sound like me.

232
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,064
You killed his father before him.

233
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,567
Your family has killed
the last four generations

234
00:10:33,568 --> 00:10:35,902
of chefs in my family.

235
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,371
It's not a great job, My King.

236
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:41,041
I'm such a bully.

237
00:10:41,042 --> 00:10:43,510
I'm under a terrible amount of pressure.
You<i> have</i> to understand that.

238
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:45,111
Oh, it's fine, My King.
Don't worry about it.

239
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,414
Oh, Gareth, I try so hard to please her.

240
00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:49,416
I invade a kingdom for a jewel,

241
00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:51,084
I respect her vow of chastity,

242
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,753
and yet every day I have to hear it

243
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,423
over and over again.

244
00:10:57,025 --> 00:10:58,758
♪ Galavant ♪

245
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,593
♪ Galavant ♪

246
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,596
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, Galavant ♪

247
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:07,100
♪ I want her, need her,
crave her, yes, it's true ♪

248
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:13,273
♪ But she is not the only thing
I desperately want to do ♪

249
00:11:13,274 --> 00:11:17,277
♪ I want to shoot him with a crossbow ♪

250
00:11:17,278 --> 00:11:21,114
♪ I want to stab him in the eye ♪

251
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,284
♪ I want to liberate his head
from his neck ♪

252
00:11:24,285 --> 00:11:27,954
♪ And then punt
the bloody wreck sky high ♪

253
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,188
Oh!

254
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,625
♪ I want to hurl him out a window ♪

255
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:37,463
♪ And shove explosives
where the sun don't shine ♪

256
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,799
♪ Want to skewer him with swords ♪

257
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,001
♪ Then slowly twist them ♪

258
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:45,805
♪ All around his reproductive system ♪

259
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:51,811
♪ Won't that be divine? ♪

260
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:55,214
♪ Then she'll be mine ♪

261
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,650
Everybody sing!

262
00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,886
♪ Ahh ♪

263
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,454
♪ And then you'll do it every evening ♪

264
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,456
♪ Sweet God, at last! ♪

265
00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:04,957
♪ In every room on every floor ♪

266
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,126
♪ Till I can't do it anymore ♪

267
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,829
♪ And with no Galavant
distracting your bride ♪

268
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,965
♪ We could start a genocidal war ♪

269
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,901
- ♪ Yay, we're gonna go to... ♪
- Wait, what?!

270
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,637
♪ I'll get back to all my hobbies ♪

271
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:21,307
♪ Like raising taxes and tormenting
the poor ♪ [Baby cries]

272
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,975
♪ Crush those poor! ♪

273
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:27,179
♪ No more "Galavant is just
complete perfection! ♪

274
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,681
♪ "Gal would never lose his... ♪

275
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,750
♪ ...temper" ♪

276
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:35,554
♪ Won't that be divine? ♪

277
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:36,889
♪ Ahh ♪

278
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,758
♪ And she'll be mine ♪

279
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,326
♪ Ia la la la ♪

280
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,994
♪ Just mine, all mine ♪

281
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,662
♪ Ia la la la ♪

282
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:48,000
♪ Mine, all mine, all mine! ♪

283
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,935
Well, that was ripping!

284
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,937
This is all very exciting, My King,

285
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,739
but Galavant still lives.

286
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,008
And he is still the greatest
warrior in five kingdoms.

287
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:59,178
Fine. If I can't win her love,
I'll buy it.

288
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,846
Bring me the king and queen of Valencia.

289
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:03,582
I'll find her that stupid jewel.

290
00:13:06,915 --> 00:13:10,089
"'Orange' you glad
I didn't say 'banana' again?"

291
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,423
Not funny at all, sir.

292
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,358
[Fingers snap]

293
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,698
Galavant: Tommy.

294
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,167
Tommy. Tommy!

295
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,836
There appears to be a rather
large hole in my bucket,

296
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,205
and I would very much like you to fix it.

297
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,340
Sorry, Gal. I'm gonna have to cut you off.

298
00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:32,177
Tommy, come on. It's me.

299
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,745
It's Gal.

300
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,081
Hey, Gal. Come on.
You're embarrassing yourself.

301
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:38,950
I'm embarrassing <i> yourself.</i>

302
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:41,886
[Sighs]

303
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:48,993
[Thud]

304
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,061
[Men snicker]

305
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:53,865
Can I buy you a drink?

306
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,066
No!

307
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,101
Good. You can buy<i> me</i> one.

308
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,303
Now, where were we?

309
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,071
Two months ago, you were
imprisoned in a cellar.

310
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,239
Then what happened?

311
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,074
King Richard: Ah, here we are.

312
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:04,809
Regular spots, please.
Thank you very much.

313
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,244
I believe you know where to stand.

314
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:10,782
Now, let me ask you <i> one</i> question.
I've tried to be kind to you.

315
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,250
Have I not?

316
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,685
You pillaged our peaceful kingdom,
killed half our army.

317
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:15,753
But I haven't killed<i> you.</i>

318
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,555
I mean, think about it.

319
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,056
I've killed a massive amount
of people this week,

320
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:21,759
but I haven't [Coughs] killed... kil...

321
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,128
Gareth, I have a horribly scratchy throat.

322
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,129
A bit of tea, please.

323
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,297
Tea for the king!

324
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,498
I'm not really a yeller.

325
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,700
I've been fighting a bug
since the invasion.

326
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,702
I swear, it's the plague.
It's not the plague.

327
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,538
- Feel it, though... does that feel lumpy?
- No.

328
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,707
- You didn't even feel it.
- We beg you to show mercy to our people,

329
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:39,710
- good King Richard.
- [Chuckles] We've<i> done</i> this.

330
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:42,546
Look, here's the thing.

331
00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:45,883
My wife<i> really</i> wants that jewel of yours.

332
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:49,387
Now, I know, at times,
she can come off as a bit, um...

333
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,155
[Inhales sharply] What's the word?

334
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:52,323
- Evil.
- Cruel.

335
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,447
No, that's not it. It's more...

336
00:14:53,448 --> 00:14:54,673
- Sadistic.
- Vicious.

337
00:14:54,675 --> 00:14:56,494
You know, I think you really
just have to get to know her.

338
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,795
She can be a [Bleep]

339
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,130
- Would you stop it, Gareth?!
- All right.

340
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,965
How's about this?

341
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,067
You tell me where the jewelry is,

342
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,275
we'll pack up shop.

343
00:15:04,276 --> 00:15:06,103
We'll stop the pillaging and the killing,

344
00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:08,272
yada, yada, and everyone's happy.

345
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,107
The Jewel of Valencia is priceless.

346
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,208
I know. I know.

347
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,377
It is a symbol of Valencia.
It has belonged not to us,

348
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:15,113
but to our people for thousands of years.

349
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:17,782
Totally understand. Totally empathize.

350
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,617
- Can I have it?
- Never!

351
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:21,619
[Sighs]

352
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,789
This is so not how I wanted to do this!

353
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,558
It is about to get very messy in here.

354
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:30,294
Ooh, my tea! Thank you very much.

355
00:15:31,462 --> 00:15:33,631
Mm.

356
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:35,600
Is there lemon in there?

357
00:15:36,829 --> 00:15:38,769
Yes... My King?

358
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:41,706
Some unsqueezed lemons.

359
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:45,376
Well, it's delightful. Just delightful.

360
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:46,711
[Sighs]

361
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,045
Kill the king, make her watch.

362
00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:49,547
No!

363
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,550
[Woman gasps]

364
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:55,252
Mmm.

365
00:15:55,253 --> 00:15:56,754
Mmm. [Lips smack]

366
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:59,256
Sid, fetch me a drink.

367
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:03,260
When he tells me to fetch,
those are my favorite moments.

368
00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:06,664
Thanks again for the drink.

369
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:07,765
<i>Drinks.</i>

370
00:16:08,632 --> 00:16:11,133
Right. Thanks again.

371
00:16:11,283 --> 00:16:14,271
My father used to tell stories of you,

372
00:16:14,272 --> 00:16:16,507
- of your skill in battle...
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

373
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:18,704
Your heroism, of your goodness.

374
00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:22,780
What happened to you?

375
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,915
I mean... eh.

376
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,286
Oh, come on. I've come a long way.

377
00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:31,789
Surely I deserve some kind of backstory.

378
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:32,823
[Sighs]

379
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:36,360
[Chuckles]

380
00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:39,196
All right. [Inhales deeply]

381
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:42,533
My parents were people of
massive, massive appetites.

382
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:45,035
They loved everything... they
loved food. They loved drink.

383
00:16:45,036 --> 00:16:47,304
But most of all, they loved each other.

384
00:16:47,305 --> 00:16:50,140
Ironically, they also hated each other.

385
00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:53,143
[Clears throat] And they
fought violently every day.

386
00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:55,512
Didn't have time for much else, in fact.

387
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:58,515
So... at the age of 8, I swore off love.

388
00:16:58,516 --> 00:16:59,950
[Chuckles]

389
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:02,319
Devoted myself to doing
something better with my life

390
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,488
than wasting it on love.

391
00:17:04,489 --> 00:17:07,824
So I read, I trained, I learned languages.

392
00:17:07,825 --> 00:17:09,826
All the time other young men
chasing spent chasing girls,

393
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:12,704
I spent that time bettering myself.

394
00:17:13,556 --> 00:17:15,866
But I come from a long family of lovers.

395
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:18,368
You can't fight genetics.

396
00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:21,505
So when it inevitably happened...

397
00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:23,506
- When I fell...
- You fell hard.

398
00:17:23,508 --> 00:17:24,808
I fell hard.

399
00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:25,976
And her?

400
00:17:26,716 --> 00:17:28,478
[Squeaks]

401
00:17:28,479 --> 00:17:30,013
She fell softer...

402
00:17:30,014 --> 00:17:32,082
As it turns out.

403
00:17:33,751 --> 00:17:36,253
[Sighs]

404
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:38,588
Look, I'd love to help. Really, I would.

405
00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:40,090
But I'm...

406
00:17:40,091 --> 00:17:42,359
I'm sort of out of the whole
"damsel in distress" business

407
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:43,827
at the moment, so...

408
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:46,563
I listened from below
as he ordered my parents to their death.

409
00:17:46,564 --> 00:17:48,365
And after coming all this way,

410
00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:50,367
your advice is for me
to just turn a blind eye

411
00:17:50,368 --> 00:17:52,536
and watch king Richard destroy my kingdom

412
00:17:52,537 --> 00:17:54,538
and everyone I've ever loved?

413
00:17:55,047 --> 00:17:56,113
What?

414
00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:00,577
Did you just say...

415
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:02,145
"King Richard"?

416
00:18:04,343 --> 00:18:05,343
Oh, come here!

417
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:06,849
- Isabella.
- Father!

418
00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:09,514
Ah!

419
00:18:10,038 --> 00:18:12,779
Maybe<i> this</i> is what we're looking for.

420
00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:16,754
Ooh, sweet!

421
00:18:16,755 --> 00:18:18,089
Any luck on the Jewel, Richard?

422
00:18:18,716 --> 00:18:19,824
Well, actually, my dear...

423
00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:21,793
I know. I know. You're working on it.

424
00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:23,594
Well, why don't you stop working on it,

425
00:18:23,595 --> 00:18:28,099
start acting like Galavant,
and<i> do something</i> already?

426
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,277
Will do, My Queen.

427
00:18:33,539 --> 00:18:34,906
[Sighs]

428
00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:39,177
I swear, if I have to hear
the name Galavant one more time.

429
00:18:39,178 --> 00:18:42,180
If only there was some way that I could...

430
00:18:43,341 --> 00:18:44,248
Ah.

431
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:45,716
She's a pretty young thing,
isn't she, Gareth?

432
00:18:45,718 --> 00:18:48,755
- A bit plump for my liking.
- Plump?

433
00:18:48,756 --> 00:18:50,354
The girl is 100 pounds soaking wet.

434
00:18:50,355 --> 00:18:54,365
I know, but I like skinny.
Like, really unhealthy skinny.

435
00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,527
[Sighs]

436
00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:58,296
You love your parents, don't you, my dear?

437
00:18:58,297 --> 00:18:59,730
Leave my parents be.

438
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,366
Leave them be, or so help me,
I will kill you myself.

439
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,634
And spunky.

440
00:19:03,635 --> 00:19:05,036
Ha! More like "chunky"!

441
00:19:05,037 --> 00:19:06,070
Just stop it, Gareth!

442
00:19:06,071 --> 00:19:08,105
I am trying to do something here!

443
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,441
Fine. If we can't beat
Galavant on his turf,

444
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,143
we'll bring him to our own.

445
00:19:12,144 --> 00:19:13,978
If you want your parents to live,

446
00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:15,646
you will travel to find Galavant.

447
00:19:15,647 --> 00:19:19,650
You tell him that I, king Richard,
have invaded your kingdom.

448
00:19:19,651 --> 00:19:21,652
Offer to pay him with the jewel.

449
00:19:21,653 --> 00:19:26,657
When that doesn't work,
I want you to tell him this...

450
00:19:26,658 --> 00:19:28,292
I feel like you should be
writing this down.

451
00:19:28,294 --> 00:19:30,629
- I will remember it.
- It's a bit long.

452
00:19:30,629 --> 00:19:32,933
I'd really just be more
comfortable if you wrote it down.

453
00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:35,261
- I will remember it.
- Like a steel trap.

454
00:19:35,263 --> 00:19:38,238
- Always had a wonderful memory, this one.
- Fine.

455
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,337
You tell him that king Richard is a...

456
00:19:40,338 --> 00:19:42,506
Is a cruel and vicious man.

457
00:19:42,507 --> 00:19:44,408
Four months I hid in that cellar.

458
00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:46,410
He and his queen slept right above me.

459
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,747
And you tell him that every night,

460
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,080
you would listen while
he screamed at his queen...

461
00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:54,418
Screamed at his queen,
and each night I would be left

462
00:19:54,419 --> 00:19:56,987
with only the sobs of that poor woman.

463
00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,491
Every night, she would cry out,
"I made the wrong choice.

464
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:04,300
I'm so sorry, Gals. I'm so sorry."

465
00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:06,710
She must have left some maidens back home.

466
00:20:06,712 --> 00:20:08,312
Never knew what she meant.

467
00:20:08,314 --> 00:20:10,215
"I'm so sorry, Gals."

468
00:20:12,396 --> 00:20:14,605
[Echoing] I love you, Gal.

469
00:20:15,427 --> 00:20:17,107
"I'm so sorry, Gal."

470
00:20:17,638 --> 00:20:20,802
She was saying, "I'm so sorry, Gal."

471
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:25,282
We leave tomorrow at sunrise.

472
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:29,019
Pack lightly.
There's a long journey ahead.

473
00:20:32,991 --> 00:20:34,992
Narrator: ♪ Snd so begins our plot ♪

474
00:20:34,993 --> 00:20:36,660
♪ Of which there's quite a lot ♪

475
00:20:36,661 --> 00:20:39,997
♪ With Isabella stringing Galavant ♪

476
00:20:39,998 --> 00:20:43,333
♪ And with the evil king prepared
to do his thing ♪ [Groans]

477
00:20:43,334 --> 00:20:46,737
♪ And with the queen
still pretty sure he can't ♪

478
00:20:46,738 --> 00:20:49,906
♪ And, with Gal
about to start his journey ♪

479
00:20:49,907 --> 00:20:53,243
♪ One both twisty and immensely turny ♪

480
00:20:53,244 --> 00:20:55,579
♪ Oh, it's lots of plot, we know! ♪

481
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:57,746
♪ But anyway, hi ho! ♪

482
00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:59,615
♪ We're off and here we go! ♪

483
00:20:59,616 --> 00:21:01,384
♪ Come back for our next show ♪

484
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:09,592
♪ To see what's next
for Galava-a-a-a-nt! ♪

485
00:21:09,593 --> 00:21:11,928
Oh, for God's sake, Jester!

486
00:21:11,929 --> 00:21:14,330
Stop with the singing
and get back to what you're good at.

487
00:21:14,331 --> 00:21:16,404
- Knock, knock.
- Not that.

488
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,007
- Whoo-hoo-hoo! [Laughs]
- Oh, Jester!

489
00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:22,008
<font color="#80ff80">sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com</font>

489
00:21:23,305 --> 00:22:23,199
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