1
00:00:00,894 --> 00:00:01,994
iously on...
2
00:00:02,027 --> 00:00:03,794
until the adoption
is legally finalized,
3
00:00:04,157 --> 00:00:06,790
the birth moth
can still change her mind,
4
00:00:06,823 --> 00:00:09,491
and e has.
warrants were issued...
5
00:00:09,524 --> 00:00:12,257
i'm going to fire tom.
if you just fire him,
he'll sue you,
6
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:14,257
and i'll back him up.
you need cause.
7
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:17,124
well, i guess
i'll have to find cause.
decisions were made...
8
00:00:17,157 --> 00:00:18,957
i'm going to do something
so awful,
9
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,690
it is going to rock
her world.
10
00:00:21,723 --> 00:00:23,057
threats were spoken...
11
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,558
so what the hell
are we gonna do?
12
00:00:25,591 --> 00:00:27,857
and plans...
13
00:00:27,890 --> 00:00:29,957
phenobarbital?
14
00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,658
it's time to give your bther
the peace he deserves.
15
00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:34,324
...were put into action.
16
00:00:36,224 --> 00:00:38,690
(mary alice) the most
successful private investigator
17
00:00:38,723 --> 00:00:42,191
in fairview
was a man named oliver weston.
18
00:00:42,224 --> 00:00:45,591
try though he might,
oliver couldn't remember
19
00:00:45,624 --> 00:00:49,157
the exact moment
he stopped believing in love.
20
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:51,524
was it the night
he caught an executive
21
00:00:51,558 --> 00:00:53,491
cheating with his secretary?
22
00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:57,558
or was it the day
he saw a housewife
23
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,723
cheating with her delivery boy?
24
00:01:01,857 --> 00:01:04,424
or was it the time
he caught the girl next door
25
00:01:04,457 --> 00:01:06,990
cheating with the couple
who lived across the street?
26
00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:09,057
(camera shutter clicks)
27
00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,757
whenever the moment,
28
00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:13,723
oliver weston
was now officially a cynic
29
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:18,391
who only believed in betrayal
and suspicion.
30
00:01:18,424 --> 00:01:21,291
luckily for oliver,
that's what paid his bills.
31
00:01:21,324 --> 00:01:24,391
(susan)
okay, you forgot fighting.
32
00:01:24,424 --> 00:01:26,457
what are you doing?
33
00:01:26,491 --> 00:01:28,491
oh. sorry, man.
are these your bushes?
34
00:01:28,524 --> 00:01:31,224
i'll clean that
all up when i'm done.
35
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,558
it'll be like
i was not here.
36
00:01:33,591 --> 00:01:35,957
you're done now.
whoa, easy, big fella.
37
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,057
i'm just a p.i. doing
a domestic surveillance job.
38
00:01:38,090 --> 00:01:39,790
for who?
39
00:01:39,823 --> 00:01:41,624
the blonde ly
at the end of the street.
40
00:01:41,658 --> 00:01:43,224
edie britt?
41
00:01:43,257 --> 00:01:44,857
yeah. that's her fianc?
42
00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:47,257
apparently, he dumped her
for another woman,
43
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,690
and i just figured out who.
44
00:01:49,723 --> 00:01:52,090
san? (chuckles)
there's nothing going on there.
45
00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,757
they used to be married.
she's only talking to him
46
00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:57,790
because they have
a kid together.
from what i heard, they're
on their way to kid number two.
47
00:01:57,823 --> 00:02:01,224
well, you don't know
what you're talking about.
yeah, and you don't know
these soccer moms like i do.
48
00:02:01,257 --> 00:02:03,224
by day, they bake cookie
and carpool.
49
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:06,424
but dim the lights and bam--
they turn into total pigs.
50
00:02:06,457 --> 00:02:07,924
(imitates pig squealing)
51
00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:09,391
she's not like that.
52
00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:11,191
oh, please. look at her.
53
00:02:11,224 --> 00:02:14,491
that woman clearly knows
her way around a mattress.
54
00:02:17,723 --> 00:02:22,823
yes, oliver weston
had become a cynic,
55
00:02:22,857 --> 00:02:25,457
which is why
he cldn't recognize
56
00:02:25,491 --> 00:02:27,757
a man who was still in love.
57
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:30,624
cync by lanmao and xxy
www.1000fr.com
58
00:02:30,658 --> 00:02:33,224
cync by lanmao and xxy
www.1000fr.com
59
00:02:33,257 --> 00:02:35,457
cync by lanmao and xxy
www.1000fr.com
60
00:02:35,491 --> 00:02:37,558
every family
has a way of hiding
61
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,391
what it doesn't want seen...
62
00:02:40,424 --> 00:02:42,391
whether it's with a picture
63
00:02:42,424 --> 00:02:46,457
that covers
a stain on the wall...
64
00:02:46,491 --> 00:02:52,224
orith a closet door that
conceals the chaos inside...
65
00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:54,224
or with artificial smiles
66
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:58,391
that mask
years of pain and heartache,
67
00:02:58,424 --> 00:03:00,558
every family
goes to great lengths
68
00:03:00,591 --> 00:03:03,191
to hide ugly truths.
69
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,957
some, of course,
go further than others.
70
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,690
so are you
gonna do this tonight?
71
00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:20,491
no, the ice cream
is for tomorrow.
72
00:03:20,524 --> 00:03:24,457
i'm taking caleb on a picnic
to rockwater lake.
73
00:03:24,491 --> 00:03:26,790
i'm preparing
all of his favorite foods.
74
00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:30,591
so when you're done,
you're just gonna...
75
00:03:30,624 --> 00:03:32,124
leave him lying there?
76
00:03:34,124 --> 00:03:35,624
no.
77
00:03:38,357 --> 00:03:41,124
i'll call 9-1-1 anonymously,
78
00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:45,857
but i will be watching
from a distance to make sure
79
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:49,291
that... (voice breaking)
that they pick up his body.
80
00:03:51,191 --> 00:03:53,658
you know, mom,
you don't have to do this.
81
00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:55,658
i won't let him
hurt another girl,
82
00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:58,157
and i will not
turn him over
83
00:03:58,191 --> 00:04:00,457
to people who will
mock and abuse him.
84
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,990
i just won't.
85
00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:09,324
his last day on this earth
86
00:04:09,357 --> 00:04:11,924
is going to be a perfect one.
87
00:04:13,690 --> 00:04:15,690
(crying softly
88
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,257
oh, no, thanks, xiao-mei.
89
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,024
the poor thing.
she was so attached to lily.
90
00:04:23,057 --> 00:04:24,823
where'd all this food
come from?
91
00:04:24,857 --> 00:04:26,591
the people
from carlos' church.
92
00:04:26,624 --> 00:04:30,191
so you think you and carlos
will try for another adoption?
93
00:04:30,224 --> 00:04:32,957
i don't think i could
go through that pain again.
hmm.
94
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:35,457
i did freeze some of my eggs,
so we might
95
00:04:35,491 --> 00:04:37,558
do the surrogacy thing,
but i don't know.
96
00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:40,591
honey, you've got
to eat something.
i don't have an appetite.
97
00:04:40,624 --> 00:04:42,591
in fact,
this is all gonna go to waste.
98
00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:45,191
you guys
should take something.
no, no, you should keep it.
99
00:04:45,224 --> 00:04:47,157
i'll take a couple.
100
00:04:49,124 --> 00:04:52,790
what?
karl dumped me, so i'm alone.
101
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:55,191
food fills the void.
102
00:04:57,690 --> 00:04:59,690
xiao-mei, i appreciate
your grief, but, really,
103
00:04:59,723 --> 00:05:02,024
you're bringing everybody down.
will you pull it together?
104
00:05:02,057 --> 00:05:03,823
mrs. solis...
105
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,424
i don't understand.
it's from the government.
106
00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:12,790
let me see.
107
00:05:12,823 --> 00:05:14,424
gaby,
she's being deported.
108
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:16,457
xiao-mei, is this
the first letter like this
109
00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:17,457
you've received?
110
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,924
(gasps) oh, my...
this can't be happening.
111
00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:29,191
i can't go home!
112
00:05:29,224 --> 00:05:31,157
my unclewill sell me again.
113
00:05:31,191 --> 00:05:33,690
oh, no, no, xiao-mei,
you're not going anywhere.
114
00:05:33,723 --> 00:05:35,924
hey, you're much too important
to carlos and me.
115
00:05:35,957 --> 00:05:38,124
we're gonna fight this
and we're gonna win.
116
00:05:38,157 --> 00:05:40,291
gaby, you can't
promise her that.
117
00:05:40,324 --> 00:05:42,291
bree,
you heard what she said.
118
00:05:42,324 --> 00:05:44,690
i can't let this poor kid
go back to china
119
00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:46,690
and become someone's slave.
120
00:05:46,723 --> 00:05:48,224
thank you.
121
00:05:48,257 --> 00:05:51,890
all right. look, my friends
wanna take some of this to go,
122
00:05:51,924 --> 00:05:55,191
so pack it up, and we're
a little low on coffee.
123
00:06:01,591 --> 00:06:03,658
you're actually
gonna let me eat this?
124
00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:05,558
well, you've been
working so hard,
125
00:06:05,591 --> 00:06:07,757
off on business trips
all the time.
126
00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:10,224
tonight, we throw caution
and cholesterol to the wind.
127
00:06:11,624 --> 00:06:14,658
you deserve
a little comfort food.
128
00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:17,324
oh, no, you're pregnant.
129
00:06:17,357 --> 00:06:20,457
god, your mind
goes to dark places.
130
00:06:20,491 --> 00:06:24,723
honey, you just served me
a plate of full-fat gouda.
131
00:06:24,757 --> 00:06:25,957
what's up?
132
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:28,591
okay, well...
133
00:06:28,624 --> 00:06:32,957
remember i was helping ed
spark up his love life?
134
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:35,291
yeah, you sent his wife
those sexy i.m.s. why?
135
00:06:35,324 --> 00:06:38,324
well, fran found out
that ed didn't send them,
136
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,324
and she blew her top.
137
00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:42,957
she wants
the responsible party fired,
138
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:47,191
and ed lied and told her...
139
00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:48,690
that you sent them.
140
00:06:48,723 --> 00:06:50,757
but--but it wasn't me.
it was you.
141
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,591
i know.
142
00:06:52,624 --> 00:06:54,591
oh, oh, but ed couldn't
possibly lose you.
143
00:06:54,624 --> 00:06:57,124
no, no, no,
i'm the expendable one.
144
00:06:57,157 --> 00:06:59,324
look,
i know it's ridiculous,
145
00:06:59,357 --> 00:07:01,723
but ed is not
a rational person.
146
00:07:01,757 --> 00:07:03,224
fran has him whipped,
147
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:06,357
and a whipped husband is someone
we must take very seriously.
148
00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:09,424
okay.
149
00:07:10,857 --> 00:07:13,157
how do we handle this?
150
00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:14,658
you're under contract.
151
00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:17,524
ed can't fire you
unless he has just cause.
152
00:07:17,558 --> 00:07:21,057
so until this blows over,
you have to be a model employee.
153
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:25,057
show up on time,
no more 3-martini lunches,
154
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:27,124
d above all, have ready
all your presentations.
155
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,823
i can't believe
i'm being victimized like this.
156
00:07:29,857 --> 00:07:32,291
well, honey,
in all fairness...
157
00:07:32,324 --> 00:07:35,857
those are all things
you should be doing anyway.
158
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,157
fine!
159
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:50,723
andrew, i am having peter
over for dinner tomorrow night,
160
00:07:50,757 --> 00:07:54,324
and i was wondering if you
would like to invite justin?
161
00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:57,591
yeah. um, thanks.
i'll--i'll call him tonight.
162
00:07:57,624 --> 00:07:59,591
since you two are having
your boyfriends over,
163
00:07:59,624 --> 00:08:02,090
can i invite matthew?
out of the question.
164
00:08:02,124 --> 00:08:04,624
so let me get this straight--
you can date a lush,
165
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,624
and he can bring over
his gay lover,
166
00:08:06,658 --> 00:08:08,624
but god forbid
i date a hot black guy.
167
00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:10,124
until they lock caleb up,
168
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,424
i don't want you
anywhere near that family.
169
00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:14,424
his brother
tried to rape you,
170
00:08:14,457 --> 00:08:16,924
and his mother keeps the guy
locked up in a basement.
171
00:08:16,957 --> 00:08:19,424
i mean, let's face it, danielle,
even you could do better.
172
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,790
since when do you take
mom's side over mine?
173
00:08:21,823 --> 00:08:23,957
your brother and i had a talk,
174
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:26,558
and we've come
to a déTente of sorts.
175
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:29,890
really? even after she screwed
you out of your trust fund?
176
00:08:29,924 --> 00:08:32,191
well, he did falsely accuse me
of child abuse.
177
00:08:32,224 --> 00:08:34,224
i would say we're even.
wouldn't you, andrew?
178
00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:36,658
sure, mom. we're even.
179
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:44,424
(lowers voice)
you can stop smiling now.
180
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,491
i know your face is tired.
what?
181
00:08:46,524 --> 00:08:48,890
i'm not stupid. i know you
hate her now as much as ever.
182
00:08:48,924 --> 00:08:51,357
mom and i are
in a good place right now.
183
00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:54,024
why can't you believe that?
184
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:57,924
hi. i got your message.
what's up?
185
00:08:57,957 --> 00:09:01,057
come on in.
186
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,558
this is oliver weston.
187
00:09:02,591 --> 00:09:05,324
he's a p.i. edie hired.
188
00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:07,790
edie hired a... p.i.?
189
00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,624
yeah. he's been
spying on you and karl.
190
00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:11,424
how you doing?
191
00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:13,324
he thinks you two
have been having an affair.
192
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,690
me and karl?
193
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,424
why would you think that?
194
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:22,658
(karl) come on, suze. you know
we're meant to be together.
195
00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:24,157
(susan's voice)
karl, just stop.
196
00:09:24,191 --> 00:09:26,191
well...
197
00:09:26,224 --> 00:09:29,957
that is karl being nostalgic.
198
00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:31,491
(karl) you said yourself,
199
00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:33,624
the sex last week
was the best you ever had.
200
00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,124
(tape recorder stops)
201
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:38,191
okay, um...
202
00:09:38,224 --> 00:09:40,990
first of all, it was not
the best sex i ever had.
203
00:09:41,024 --> 00:09:42,990
i just said that
to make him feel better.
204
00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:45,624
(whispers) obviously, you
were the best sex i ever had.
205
00:09:45,658 --> 00:09:47,558
that explains
the punch in the face.
206
00:09:47,591 --> 00:09:49,690
i'm gonna hit you again
if you don't shut up.
207
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,690
i know
that this looks bad--
208
00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:53,890
you were actually fooling around
with karl behind edie's back.
209
00:09:55,924 --> 00:09:58,124
he told me that he and edie
had split up before--
210
00:09:58,157 --> 00:10:00,491
you know what?
i don't even care.
mike...
211
00:10:00,524 --> 00:10:02,790
(oliver) are we done here?
(mike) yeah.
212
00:10:02,823 --> 00:10:05,524
good night, susan.
213
00:10:05,558 --> 00:10:08,324
oh...
214
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,957
hey! hey, you,
wait, wait, wait. um...
215
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,790
okay, you cannot
tell edie about this.
216
00:10:13,823 --> 00:10:16,457
whatever she's paying you,
i'll pay you double.
217
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,157
she paid a 2-grand retainer
plus expenses.
218
00:10:19,191 --> 00:10:20,990
$2,000?
219
00:10:21,024 --> 00:10:24,024
jeez! i gotta
get into real estate.
220
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,757
okay, i don't have
that kind of cash.
221
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:30,291
well, then, i guess
i take the tape to miss britt.
222
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:35,491
i have a copy!
223
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:45,124
okay,
let's try this another way.
224
00:10:45,157 --> 00:10:49,157
you are about to unleash
a nuclear explosion.
225
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,924
lives are
going to be ruined.
226
00:10:51,957 --> 00:10:53,424
i'll tell you what.
227
00:10:53,457 --> 00:10:55,857
i'll hold off till monday
to report to ms. britt.
228
00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:58,857
yes!
that'll give you some time
to scrape together
229
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:01,291
a little cash.
what if i can't?
230
00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:15,151
i'm sorry, but xiao-mei missed
all of her appeal deadlines.
231
00:11:15,184 --> 00:11:18,583
so tt's it? you're just
gonna send her back to china?
232
00:11:18,617 --> 00:11:20,317
my hands are tied.
233
00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:23,418
if your maid were married
to an american citizen,
234
00:11:23,451 --> 00:11:25,984
or had a child
who was an american citizen,
235
00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:28,451
or if she were
a well-known entertainer...
236
00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:29,784
uh...
237
00:11:29,817 --> 00:11:33,217
what if she was pregnant
with an american citizen?
238
00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:39,451
uh, xiao-mei?
239
00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:40,518
(chuckles)
240
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:43,451
we spoke
to homeland security,
241
00:11:43,484 --> 00:11:44,950
and we have good news!
242
00:11:44,984 --> 00:11:46,217
i can stay?
243
00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:47,284
mm-hmm!
244
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,351
oh! (crying) thank you!
245
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:50,850
oh! okay.
thank you!
246
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:54,084
uh... well,
there's just one little thing...
247
00:11:54,117 --> 00:11:55,683
(chuckles) um...
248
00:11:55,717 --> 00:11:58,284
the immigration laws have gotten
really tough in this country,
249
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,583
so we're a little
behind the eight ball going in.
250
00:12:00,617 --> 00:12:02,917
but we pled your case,
251
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:06,917
and we fought tooth and nail,
and the law says you can stay...
252
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,784
but only
if you have our baby.
253
00:12:09,817 --> 00:12:11,451
what?
254
00:12:11,484 --> 00:12:13,451
the agent said that
if you were...
255
00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,518
pregnant
with an american citizen,
256
00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:18,117
then they couldn't
deport you.
257
00:12:18,151 --> 00:12:21,583
so we thought,
you need a baby in your belly,
258
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,251
we need a surrogate...
259
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,117
win-win-win.
260
00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,817
"sur-ro-gate"?
261
00:12:28,850 --> 00:12:31,484
oh, well,
it would be our baby.
262
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,917
it would just
be growing inside of you.
263
00:12:35,451 --> 00:12:36,850
i...
264
00:12:36,884 --> 00:12:39,317
okay, uh... well...
265
00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,151
uh... oh!
okay, it's like this...
266
00:12:41,184 --> 00:12:44,451
the three of us are making
your famous szechuan dumplings,
267
00:12:44,484 --> 00:12:47,418
(chuckles) and i'm the dough,
268
00:12:47,451 --> 00:12:50,384
and carlos is the pork,
269
00:12:50,418 --> 00:12:53,151
and you're the oven.
270
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,850
i have baby?!
271
00:12:57,884 --> 00:12:59,850
okay,
we take care of everything.
272
00:12:59,884 --> 00:13:01,817
you know,
uh, hospital bills
273
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,151
and maternity clothes
and lamaze classes.
274
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,317
and, of course, you wouldn't
have to do any work.
275
00:13:06,351 --> 00:13:09,284
(laughs) well, uh, maybe
just a little light dusting.
276
00:13:09,317 --> 00:13:10,484
nothing major.
277
00:13:12,117 --> 00:13:13,151
no!
278
00:13:13,184 --> 00:13:15,151
no, xiao-mei,
you don't have a choice.
279
00:13:15,184 --> 00:13:16,683
it's either this
or go back to china.
280
00:13:16,717 --> 00:13:18,117
no to baby!
281
00:13:18,151 --> 00:13:20,484
no! (sobbing)
282
00:13:22,617 --> 00:13:25,051
(exhales deeply, groans)
283
00:13:25,084 --> 00:13:27,550
had to push the dusting,
didn't you?
284
00:13:29,384 --> 00:13:33,317
(sighs) peter, i don't think
i'm being unreasonable here.
285
00:13:33,351 --> 00:13:36,550
it's not like i'gonna
advertise my addiction history,
286
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,817
but if your kids
ask a direct question,
287
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:41,351
i'm not gonna lie to them.
288
00:13:41,384 --> 00:13:43,817
right! uh-huh. good point.
289
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,884
(lowers voice) listen,
i don't expect you to lie
290
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,617
about the alcoholism. i mean,
they know that's how we met.
291
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:52,784
it's just...
you know, the other thing.
292
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:56,717
oh! the other thing.
they're just
getting to know you,
293
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:59,518
and so i want them
to focus on your good qualities.
294
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:01,518
i just don't know
how they'll react
295
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,850
if they find out
that you're a sex addict.
296
00:14:06,884 --> 00:14:08,750
what are you
so happy about?
297
00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:10,683
you know how
you were mad at mom
298
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,217
about not letting matthew
come to dinner?
299
00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:14,251
yeah?
300
00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:16,284
i just figured out
the funniest way
301
00:14:16,317 --> 00:14:19,384
for you to get back at her.
302
00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:22,451
okay, what's on the schedule
for today?
303
00:14:22,484 --> 00:14:25,117
i have got the boston toy
presentation ready to go.
304
00:14:25,151 --> 00:14:27,650
actually, i don't have time
for a full pitch,
305
00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,950
so just give me the gist.
306
00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:31,850
excuse me?
307
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:35,017
you know, boil it down.
give me one line.
308
00:14:37,151 --> 00:14:40,284
okay, basically,
it's "toys are fun."
309
00:14:40,317 --> 00:14:44,251
i hate it.
how can you hate it?
i only gave you three words.
310
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,117
it's three words i hate.
311
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:48,650
okay, i'm gonna take over
the ston toy company account.
312
00:14:48,683 --> 00:14:50,617
no, you cannot take over--
in the meantime,
313
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:52,917
you should all be aware
i don't like the way
314
00:14:52,950 --> 00:14:55,117
you people have been filing
your expense reports.
315
00:14:55,151 --> 00:14:57,950
there's been
a lot of padding
316
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,617
meanwhile, this company
is hemorrhaging money.
317
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,617
i'm gonna put a stop to it,
318
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:04,650
so i have hired
a forensic accountant.
319
00:15:04,683 --> 00:15:07,051
he's gonna go through them,
make sure everything's kosher.
320
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:10,550
and i find one receipt,
one bar tab that's fishy,
321
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:12,617
it's grounds for dismissal.
322
00:15:15,151 --> 00:15:16,717
oh, scavo?
323
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,917
he's gonna start with you.
324
00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:21,950
i can't believe
that son of a bitch
325
00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:23,451
hired a forensic accountant.
326
00:15:23,484 --> 00:15:25,451
he's more whipped
than i thought.
327
00:15:25,484 --> 00:15:27,451
well, he's tragically
underestimated us.
328
00:15:27,484 --> 00:15:29,451
the gloves are coming off.
329
00:15:29,484 --> 00:15:31,451
you know,
maybe i should just quit.
330
00:15:31,484 --> 00:15:33,451
what? yesterday
you were up in arms.
331
00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:36,750
now you're ready to cave?
if ed is determined to get me,
sooner or later,
332
00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:39,251
he's gonna get me.
it's just a matter of time.
333
00:15:39,284 --> 00:15:41,051
no, no!
we are not backing down.
334
00:15:41,084 --> 00:15:43,051
i'm gonna walk over
to ed's office right now,
335
00:15:43,084 --> 00:15:45,451
and i'm gonna make very clear
that if you're out the door,
336
00:15:45,484 --> 00:15:47,784
i'm right behind ya.
we can't both be unemployed.
337
00:15:47,817 --> 00:15:49,784
oh, it'll never happen.
he knows this place
338
00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:52,583
will go down like
a house of cards without me.
339
00:15:52,617 --> 00:15:54,251
honey, wait. just wait!
340
00:15:54,284 --> 00:15:55,550
what, what?
341
00:15:55,583 --> 00:15:58,950
i'm not gonna hide
behind my wife's skirt.
342
00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:01,184
we're a team.
i'm just lending support.
343
00:16:01,217 --> 00:16:03,151
that's not the way
it's gonna look
344
00:16:03,184 --> 00:16:05,017
to everybody else out there.
345
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,850
look, let me talk to him,
man to man.
346
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:11,317
if my way doesn't work,
then we'll do it your way.
347
00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:14,917
okay, go get him.
348
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:16,917
(sighs)
349
00:16:27,451 --> 00:16:28,950
(faintly)
lynette filled me in
350
00:16:28,984 --> 00:16:31,217
about what happened
with you and fran and the i.m.,
351
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,251
and i gotta tell ya, this
isn't fair. this isn't right.
352
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:45,051
oh, my god!
353
00:16:45,084 --> 00:16:46,317
oh, my god!
354
00:16:46,351 --> 00:16:48,583
tom, what happened?
355
00:16:48,617 --> 00:16:50,617
i think
i gave him just cause.
356
00:16:52,784 --> 00:16:53,850
uh...
357
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:01,871
susan knew she couldn't afford
to keep the p.i.
358
00:17:01,904 --> 00:17:04,704
from revealing
her affair with karl,
359
00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:08,270
and since edie would learn
the truth anyway,
360
00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:12,804
susan felt it would be better
if it came from her...
361
00:17:12,837 --> 00:17:15,303
which is how
she came to write a letter
362
00:17:15,337 --> 00:17:17,904
begging edie for forgiveness.
363
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:21,570
her words were so sincere
and heartfelt,
364
00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:24,303
from the moment she mailed it,
susan knew...
365
00:17:26,071 --> 00:17:29,203
she was a dead woman.
366
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,904
you know, caleb...
367
00:17:35,937 --> 00:17:38,604
since the day
you were born,
368
00:17:38,637 --> 00:17:42,604
i've always thought of you
as a blessing.
369
00:17:42,637 --> 00:17:45,071
you do know that, right?
370
00:17:45,104 --> 00:17:48,437
i guess.
371
00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:52,804
how come matty's not here?
372
00:17:52,837 --> 00:17:56,871
because
this is our special day,
373
00:17:56,904 --> 00:17:59,637
just you and me.
374
00:17:59,671 --> 00:18:01,937
is he mad at me?
375
00:18:01,971 --> 00:18:03,470
'cause of danielle?
376
00:18:03,504 --> 00:18:07,303
no. he knows that
you didn't mean to scare her.
377
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:11,470
'cause he said it was okay
for me to kiss her.
378
00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:13,138
what did you say?
379
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,170
he said danielle liked me
380
00:18:15,203 --> 00:18:19,170
and that she wouldn't fight me
if i gave her a kiss.
381
00:18:19,203 --> 00:18:20,971
ur brother told you that?
382
00:18:21,004 --> 00:18:24,203
matty said that
she was waiting for me
383
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,237
and that she wanted
a really big kiss.
384
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:34,437
what else
did your brother tell you?
385
00:18:37,004 --> 00:18:38,337
xiao-mei?
386
00:18:40,804 --> 00:18:42,804
i made you some hot cocoa.
387
00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:48,138
i guess the baby thing didn't
really appeal to you, huh?
388
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:51,470
i know it's a lot to ask,
389
00:18:51,504 --> 00:18:54,138
it's just, carlos and i
think of you as family.
390
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,138
don't you
think of us as family?
391
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:59,071
oh, yes!
392
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:02,038
you are like mother to me.
393
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:04,704
mm-hmm.
394
00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:07,337
well,
if we are so friggin' close,
395
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:08,837
what's the big deal?
396
00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:10,837
it's nine months
out of your life.
397
00:19:10,871 --> 00:19:12,804
i will be ruined.
398
00:19:12,837 --> 00:19:14,971
"ruined"?
399
00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:18,937
down there.
400
00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:23,071
wait.
401
00:19:23,104 --> 00:19:24,637
are you a virgin?
402
00:19:25,804 --> 00:19:27,570
wow!
403
00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:31,704
if i have baby,
i will be shamed.
404
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:33,904
(laughing) are you kidding?
405
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:36,404
no one cares about virginity
in this country.
406
00:19:36,437 --> 00:19:38,404
it went out of style
in the '50s,
407
00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:41,570
and trust me, honey, it ain't
making a comeback. (laughs)
408
00:19:41,604 --> 00:19:44,604
seriously, no one cares.
409
00:19:44,637 --> 00:19:46,671
husband would care.
410
00:19:46,704 --> 00:19:48,904
no man want me if i ruined.
411
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:53,038
i want husband so much.
412
00:19:54,937 --> 00:19:57,404
well, what kind of husband
do you want?
413
00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:59,437
do you want a rich husband?
414
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,104
well, then,
415
00:20:01,138 --> 00:20:03,303
rich men don't marry virgins
for the same reasons
416
00:20:03,337 --> 00:20:05,771
they don't hire chauffeurs
who can't drive--
417
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:07,604
they value experience.
418
00:20:07,637 --> 00:20:09,537
really?
419
00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:13,537
would i lie to family?
420
00:20:17,437 --> 00:20:19,604
here are the numbers
you wanted.
421
00:20:19,637 --> 00:20:21,971
lynette, wait.
422
00:20:22,004 --> 00:20:24,637
have you heard from tom?
he's not answering
his cell phone.
423
00:20:24,671 --> 00:20:26,470
but you don't have
to worry, okay?
424
00:20:26,504 --> 00:20:28,804
you got what you wanted.
he's out of the building.
425
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:31,437
come in here
and close the door.
426
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:33,437
you sure?
i might punch you, too.
427
00:20:33,470 --> 00:20:36,138
i'll take my chances.
428
00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:40,871
if this is where you want me
to apologize for my husband,
429
00:20:40,904 --> 00:20:42,437
i'm not gonna do it.
430
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,937
maybe he shouldn't have hit you,
but you provoked him.
431
00:20:44,971 --> 00:20:48,604
now wait a minute--
no! i'm sorry,
tom gets punished
432
00:20:48,637 --> 00:20:50,904
beuse you can't deal
with your screwed-up marriage.
433
00:20:50,937 --> 00:20:52,604
it is pathetic, ed.
434
00:20:52,637 --> 00:20:54,804
if you had stood up
to your wife in the first place,
435
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,804
none of this--what?
i love it.
436
00:20:56,837 --> 00:20:59,437
you're giving me crap
about my marriage.
437
00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:01,771
you know what? here!
438
00:21:01,804 --> 00:21:04,804
oh, the forensic accountant
found some interesting stuff
439
00:21:04,837 --> 00:21:06,937
in tom's expense reports.
440
00:21:06,971 --> 00:21:08,937
yeah, it seems
on his last three trips east,
441
00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,937
he cashed in
his first-class ticket
442
00:21:10,971 --> 00:21:14,370
and took a detour
to atlantic city.
what? that can't be right.
443
00:21:14,404 --> 00:21:17,804
well, it's all there--
hotels, bar tabs.
444
00:21:17,837 --> 00:21:19,737
oh, and on this page...
445
00:21:19,771 --> 00:21:21,771
two tickets to a show.
446
00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:26,038
and flowers.
447
00:21:28,737 --> 00:21:30,737
that doesn't make any sense.
448
00:21:30,771 --> 00:21:33,771
there's gotta be some
kind of an explanation for this.
449
00:21:33,804 --> 00:21:37,604
before you pass judgment
on someone else's marriage,
450
00:21:37,637 --> 00:21:40,170
i'd clean up
my own house first.
451
00:21:44,157 --> 00:21:45,957
sorry, i don't know
452
00:21:45,990 --> 00:21:48,057
what's taking danielle
so long to get dressed.
just give her a break, mom.
453
00:21:48,091 --> 00:21:50,424
i'm sure she's just trying
to look nice for ourompany.
454
00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:52,458
well, i hope she doesn't get
too dressed up.
455
00:21:52,491 --> 00:21:54,458
i like people
to be comfortable.
456
00:21:54,491 --> 00:21:56,124
oh, i'm comfortable.
457
00:21:58,191 --> 00:22:00,224
honey,
what are you wearing?
458
00:22:00,257 --> 00:22:02,424
you got me this for christmas.
don't you remember?
459
00:22:02,458 --> 00:22:05,257
yes, i just--i'm worried
you might be a little cold.
460
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,623
ohi think
it's plenty warm in here.
461
00:22:07,657 --> 00:22:10,224
don't you, mr. mcmillan?
462
00:22:10,257 --> 00:22:12,124
uh...
463
00:22:12,157 --> 00:22:13,957
sure.
464
00:22:15,424 --> 00:22:17,990
well, uh, we should
probably start eating.
465
00:22:18,024 --> 00:22:19,924
we don't want
our frittatas to get cold.
466
00:22:19,957 --> 00:22:23,491
right. good. um, sorry.
everybody, dig in.
467
00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:31,957
does anybody else think
this salsa's a little too spicy?
468
00:22:31,990 --> 00:22:34,590
i always say,
he hotter, the better."
469
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:42,590
so, mr. mcmillan, i hear
you went to perkins college.
470
00:22:42,623 --> 00:22:44,657
i'm thinking about going there
after i graduate.
471
00:22:44,690 --> 00:22:47,590
uh, perkins, huh?
472
00:22:47,623 --> 00:22:50,324
i was there.
yeah, i made it to every party,
473
00:22:50,357 --> 00:22:52,790
and i went to classes
in my spare time.
474
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:58,391
no, actually, it's a great
college. i think you'd like it.
475
00:22:58,424 --> 00:22:59,890
isn't this wonderful?
476
00:22:59,924 --> 00:23:03,024
good food,
pleasant conversation...
477
00:23:03,057 --> 00:23:05,824
this really is
a very special night.
478
00:23:07,224 --> 00:23:09,590
i feel the same way.
479
00:23:14,524 --> 00:23:16,291
so, peter, is it growing?
480
00:23:18,890 --> 00:23:20,491
what?
481
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,790
uh, the campus. has it grown
at all since you've been there?
482
00:23:23,824 --> 00:23:25,590
uh...
483
00:23:27,024 --> 00:23:28,890
yeah, it's, uh...
484
00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:32,157
it's grown...
con-considerably.
485
00:23:32,191 --> 00:23:35,424
i would just love
to get my hands on a brochure.
486
00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:39,224
the alumni association
487
00:23:39,257 --> 00:23:40,824
is always sending me stuff,
you know.
488
00:23:40,857 --> 00:23:42,824
i'll--i'll get you something!
489
00:23:42,857 --> 00:23:45,057
oh, my god, are you okay?
490
00:23:47,524 --> 00:23:49,857
i just remembered, you know,
this guy i'm sponsoring--
491
00:23:49,890 --> 00:23:52,857
he said he needed to see me
tonight, so i should go to him.
492
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,324
well, i gues
that's important, so--
493
00:23:55,357 --> 00:23:58,357
yeah, so ihould go.
no need to show me out.
494
00:24:03,657 --> 00:24:05,124
what a shame.
495
00:24:05,157 --> 00:24:07,124
i really wanted him
to have a chance
496
00:24:07,157 --> 00:24:09,623
to get to know you guys.
497
00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:12,157
don't worry, i...
i think we made an impression.
498
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,824
hey. hey!
499
00:24:21,924 --> 00:24:24,391
i didn't know
if you were coming back.
500
00:24:24,424 --> 00:24:27,790
(sighs) i waited until
the parking lot clead.
501
00:24:27,824 --> 00:24:29,924
so, um...
502
00:24:29,957 --> 00:24:31,191
what happened?
503
00:24:31,224 --> 00:24:34,191
you said you were just gonna
go in there and talk to him.
504
00:24:34,224 --> 00:24:35,690
i know, i know.
505
00:24:35,723 --> 00:24:37,723
i know i shouldn't have
hit him. (chuckles)
506
00:24:37,757 --> 00:24:39,957
but...
what's done is done.
507
00:24:42,257 --> 00:24:43,723
anything else going on?
508
00:24:43,757 --> 00:24:45,057
like what?
509
00:24:45,091 --> 00:24:47,257
i don't know.
510
00:24:47,291 --> 00:24:49,458
anything
you wanna talk about?
511
00:24:49,491 --> 00:24:51,957
'cause there's nothing
you couldn't tell me.
512
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,458
i would understand.
no, i feel good about this.
513
00:24:54,491 --> 00:24:57,057
it's okay, 'cause i didn't
fit in around here anyway.
514
00:24:57,091 --> 00:24:59,990
i'm gonna get another job
someplace else.
515
00:25:00,024 --> 00:25:01,657
everything's good.
516
00:25:01,690 --> 00:25:03,491
and you, i love.
517
00:25:03,524 --> 00:25:05,024
i love you, too.
518
00:25:08,723 --> 00:25:10,623
you know what's weird?
519
00:25:10,657 --> 00:25:13,357
no, what?
520
00:25:13,391 --> 00:25:16,357
in all the years
we have been married,
521
00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:20,690
i have never seen you
lead with your fists.
(elevator dings)
522
00:25:20,723 --> 00:25:23,324
well...
523
00:25:23,357 --> 00:25:27,091
maybe i still got
some surprises in me.
524
00:25:28,824 --> 00:25:30,491
maybe you do.
525
00:25:36,324 --> 00:25:38,458
is it done?
526
00:25:38,491 --> 00:25:40,257
mm-hmm.
527
00:25:42,091 --> 00:25:44,091
we can mourn
your brotherater.
528
00:25:44,124 --> 00:25:47,024
right now there are things
that still need to be done.
529
00:25:47,057 --> 00:25:50,890
we need to get rid
of everything...
530
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:53,424
mattress, clothes,
all of it.
531
00:26:05,157 --> 00:26:07,124
mom, the--the door's locked.
532
00:26:07,157 --> 00:26:08,924
i know.
533
00:26:10,257 --> 00:26:14,990
mom, you need
to open this door right now!
534
00:26:17,491 --> 00:26:19,458
mom!
535
00:26:37,228 --> 00:26:39,293
honey,
why aren't you dressed yet?
536
00:26:39,327 --> 00:26:40,794
we have to be
at the fertility clinic
537
00:26:40,827 --> 00:26:43,161
in 40 minutes!
aw, shoot! is that today?
538
00:26:43,194 --> 00:26:45,494
and, uh, give xiao-mei
a kick in the pants.
539
00:26:45,527 --> 00:26:47,527
i haven't seen her
all morning.
540
00:26:51,393 --> 00:26:53,027
hey.
541
00:26:53,061 --> 00:26:55,794
today's the, uh, big day.
542
00:26:55,827 --> 00:26:59,161
you ready to, uh,make a baby?
543
00:27:01,094 --> 00:27:02,594
ready.
544
00:27:14,727 --> 00:27:17,094
please...
545
00:27:17,128 --> 00:27:18,527
be gentle.
546
00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:28,027
honey, come on.
we're gonna be late.
547
00:27:31,393 --> 00:27:33,994
hmm, uh...
548
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,494
i think she's confused
549
00:27:35,527 --> 00:27:38,827
as to how we're gonna
make this baby happen.
550
00:27:38,861 --> 00:27:42,228
oh. and were you planning
on setting her straight?
551
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,527
next thing out of my mouth.
552
00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:52,061
come on!
the guy's ready to explode.
553
00:27:52,094 --> 00:27:54,694
i don't care. i'm not
sleeping with mom's boyfriend.
554
00:27:54,727 --> 00:27:56,794
you can't back out now.
you were great the other night.
555
00:27:56,827 --> 00:27:59,794
you got peter on the hook.
he's primed.
i was just
messing with his head
556
00:27:59,827 --> 00:28:01,360
to get back at mom.
that's all.
557
00:28:01,393 --> 00:28:03,927
yeah, but why stop there?
she's keeping you from matthew.
558
00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:05,927
now, come on,
she deserves this.
559
00:28:05,961 --> 00:28:08,228
i'm not that stupid.
go grind your own ax.
560
00:28:08,260 --> 00:28:11,128
(doorbell rings)
that's him.
i don't have time for this crap.
561
00:28:11,161 --> 00:28:14,161
now strip down
to your bra and panties now.
get out of my room,
you psycho!
562
00:28:18,761 --> 00:28:20,560
um, my mom won't be back
for a while,
563
00:28:20,594 --> 00:28:23,061
so you probably
don't wanna wait around.
well, that's okay.
564
00:28:23,094 --> 00:28:25,560
i just wanted to make sure
you got the perkins catalog.
565
00:28:25,594 --> 00:28:28,460
uh, your mom told me that you're
going on a tour there tomorrow.
566
00:28:28,494 --> 00:28:30,494
yeah.
you're gonna love it.
567
00:28:30,527 --> 00:28:33,194
the campus is beautiful,
the teachers are amazing,
568
00:28:33,228 --> 00:28:35,727
and the student body
is such a great mix.
569
00:28:35,761 --> 00:28:38,393
you know,
they're all about diversity.
570
00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:39,694
whatever.
571
00:28:39,727 --> 00:28:42,094
all right, well, i'll let
my mom know you stopped by.
572
00:28:42,128 --> 00:28:43,761
okay.
573
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,861
andrew... (clears throat)
i also wanted to apologize
574
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:52,128
for leaving so fast
the other night.
575
00:28:52,161 --> 00:28:53,327
i... (chuckles)
576
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,327
i started
to get the feeling
577
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,327
that your sister
was coming on to me,
578
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,927
which was upsetting
because--
579
00:28:58,961 --> 00:29:00,761
you're a sex addict?
580
00:29:00,794 --> 00:29:03,027
your mom
told you about that?
581
00:29:03,061 --> 00:29:06,494
let's just say
the word's out.
582
00:29:06,527 --> 00:29:08,460
but,m, i'm curious.
583
00:29:08,494 --> 00:29:12,260
back in the day, what kind
of stuff were you into?
584
00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:14,427
i don't know that
i wanna talk about that.
585
00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:16,427
well, i just wanna make sure
586
00:29:16,460 --> 00:29:18,027
you're not into anything
too freaky.
587
00:29:18,061 --> 00:29:19,694
ow, i mean,
588
00:29:19,727 --> 00:29:22,560
you are dating my mom,
and i'm kinda protective of her.
589
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,027
well, you can relax.
590
00:29:24,061 --> 00:29:26,527
i mean, i wasn't some
sort of pervert, you know.
591
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,994
all i can say is...
i went through a dark period,
592
00:29:29,027 --> 00:29:31,360
and i slept with
a whole lot of people.
593
00:29:33,061 --> 00:29:34,194
people?
594
00:29:34,228 --> 00:29:36,260
what's wrong?
595
00:29:36,293 --> 00:29:40,427
no, it's just that when most
guys discuss their conquests,
596
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:42,927
they don't say "people."
597
00:29:42,961 --> 00:29:46,293
(laughs) oh, well...
598
00:29:46,327 --> 00:29:48,594
no, it's okay.
599
00:29:48,627 --> 00:29:51,727
i appreciate the fact
that you value...
600
00:29:51,761 --> 00:29:53,660
diversity.
601
00:30:00,961 --> 00:30:02,961
(susan) who is it?
mike.
602
00:30:06,660 --> 00:30:07,861
susan?
603
00:30:07,894 --> 00:30:09,494
hi. sorry.
604
00:30:09,527 --> 00:30:11,494
i'm just on the lookout
for edie.
605
00:30:11,527 --> 00:30:14,861
oh, well, you can relax.
edie won't be coming after you.
606
00:30:14,894 --> 00:30:17,894
why?
i talked to the p.i., and he's
not gonna tell her anything.
607
00:30:17,927 --> 00:30:20,360
what did you say?
608
00:30:20,393 --> 00:30:23,327
i paid him off,
so it's over.
609
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,527
i just thought
you should know.
610
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,894
well, wait.
611
00:30:27,927 --> 00:30:29,527
why would you do that?
612
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,660
people will just get hurt
if it gets out.
613
00:30:32,694 --> 00:30:34,694
i didn't see the point.
614
00:30:49,694 --> 00:30:52,427
uh... oh...
615
00:31:01,427 --> 00:31:03,660
come on, come on, come on.
616
00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:11,727
hey there.
you look thirsty.
617
00:31:11,761 --> 00:31:14,627
this is really nice of you,
mrs. mayer.
618
00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:17,694
to be honest with you, i wasn't
even sure that you liked me.
619
00:31:17,727 --> 00:31:19,694
and you know why?
because we're all so busy
620
00:31:19,727 --> 00:31:23,761
and detached from each other.
you're at my house every day,
621
00:31:23,794 --> 00:31:25,861
and sure,
we wave and we say hello,
622
00:31:25,894 --> 00:31:28,427
but we barely even
know each other.
623
00:31:28,460 --> 00:31:31,228
how long have you
been delivering my mail,
624
00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:33,128
for god's sake?
three and a half weeks.
625
00:31:33,161 --> 00:31:35,627
really?
626
00:31:35,660 --> 00:31:37,560
it seems like forever.
(chuckles)
627
00:31:37,594 --> 00:31:39,061
let me top you off.
628
00:31:39,094 --> 00:31:41,460
oh, no, i couldn't.
this is my third glass. i...
629
00:31:41,494 --> 00:31:42,994
seriously, i'm sloshin'.
630
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:46,094
well, you probably wanna
use the bathroom
631
00:31:46,128 --> 00:31:47,427
before you leave, huh?
632
00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:49,594
no, i'm good.
are you sure?
633
00:31:49,627 --> 00:31:51,560
uh, i mean,
you have such a long route,
634
00:31:51,594 --> 00:31:53,727
and that ice tea's
gonna go right through ya.
635
00:31:53,761 --> 00:31:57,827
it's better here than
mrs. mccluskey's hydrangeas.
636
00:31:57,861 --> 00:32:01,660
well, you know, uh...
maybe i will use your bathroom.
637
00:32:01,694 --> 00:32:03,794
great! oh, the one
down here is broken.
638
00:32:03,827 --> 00:32:05,794
why don't you use
the one upstairs?
639
00:32:05,827 --> 00:32:07,927
it's right off my bedroom.
640
00:32:07,961 --> 00:32:10,327
yeah.
641
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,260
okay.
642
00:32:12,293 --> 00:32:13,794
got it.
(pounds table)
643
00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,393
(lowered voice)
i still can't believe it.
644
00:32:43,427 --> 00:32:44,894
i mean,
why would xiao-mei
645
00:32:44,927 --> 00:32:47,194
just offer herself up to me
like that?
646
00:32:47,228 --> 00:32:49,194
(whispering)
well, honey, she's a virgin.
647
00:32:49,228 --> 00:32:51,027
who knows why virgins
do anything?
648
00:32:51,061 --> 00:32:53,660
she's a viin?
649
00:32:53,694 --> 00:32:55,260
are you serious?
650
00:32:55,293 --> 00:32:58,727
yeah. i wouldn't just
slam her for no reason.
651
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,427
mr. solis?
652
00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:04,161
it's time
to collect your n.a.
653
00:33:04,194 --> 00:33:07,927
oh! okay, honey,
only gd swimmers now.
654
00:33:11,594 --> 00:33:13,061
if you like,
655
00:33:13,094 --> 00:33:16,594
we have a variety of magazines
and videos available.
656
00:33:18,061 --> 00:33:21,861
mm... i think i'm good.
657
00:33:28,961 --> 00:33:32,393
gus? are you okay up there?
658
00:33:36,094 --> 00:33:39,527
(gasps) gus!
659
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,660
uh, do you want me
to keep the hat on?
660
00:33:42,694 --> 00:33:46,128
i know it's a fantasy
for some women.
661
00:33:46,161 --> 00:33:47,961
uh...
662
00:33:51,427 --> 00:33:52,594
mom?
663
00:33:56,327 --> 00:33:57,994
is the mailman here?
664
00:34:00,894 --> 00:34:03,660
that's my daughter.
get dressed!
665
00:34:03,694 --> 00:34:05,293
(julie) mom?
666
00:34:05,327 --> 00:34:08,861
yes, honey!
gus the mailman is here!
667
00:34:08,894 --> 00:34:12,293
he's using the bathroom.
he'll be down in a minute.
668
00:34:12,327 --> 00:34:14,360
oh! (chuckles) darn it.
669
00:34:14,393 --> 00:34:17,128
guess we'll have
to take a rain check, huh?
670
00:34:17,161 --> 00:34:19,027
i can come back on tuesday.
671
00:34:19,061 --> 00:34:21,228
(laughs) tu-tuesday?
672
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:22,761
no, no, tuesday's not good,
673
00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:25,827
'cause tuesday's
the day i, um...
674
00:34:25,861 --> 00:34:27,194
become a lesbian.
675
00:34:44,627 --> 00:34:44,660
andrew?
676
00:34:46,427 --> 00:34:48,894
honey, where are you?
i got your message.
677
00:34:48,927 --> 00:34:51,861
what's the emergency?
678
00:34:51,894 --> 00:34:54,393
andrew?
679
00:34:54,427 --> 00:34:56,427
andrew?
680
00:34:56,460 --> 00:34:59,061
andrew?
681
00:34:59,094 --> 00:35:02,560
honey, what are you doing
in my bed?
682
00:35:02,594 --> 00:35:04,894
have you seen my pants?
i can't--
683
00:35:09,827 --> 00:35:13,627
now we're even.
684
00:35:17,961 --> 00:35:20,027
did you forget
that we're supposed to take
685
00:35:20,061 --> 00:35:22,027
that tour
of perkins college today?
686
00:35:22,061 --> 00:35:24,760
seriously?
687
00:35:24,794 --> 00:35:27,393
after last night, i didn't
exactly think you'd be too keen
688
00:35:27,427 --> 00:35:29,861
on sitting next to me
in a car for three hours.
689
00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:32,727
consider me a cheerleader
for anything that expedites me
690
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,961
getting you out from
under my roof.
691
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:39,527
glad we can come
to an understanding.
692
00:36:01,061 --> 00:36:04,127
why'd we stop here?
we have half a tank left.
693
00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:08,460
there's so many things
i wanna say to you, andrew.
694
00:36:08,493 --> 00:36:12,627
but mostly, i just want you
to know how sorry i am.
695
00:36:12,660 --> 00:36:14,261
sorry for what?
696
00:36:14,294 --> 00:36:19,228
every child deserves
to be loved unconditionally,
697
00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:24,861
and i thought that was the kind
of love that i had for you.
698
00:36:24,894 --> 00:36:27,994
maybe if i had,
it would've been different.
699
00:36:28,027 --> 00:36:30,994
(chuckles) why do i
suddenly get the feeling
700
00:36:31,027 --> 00:36:33,961
we're not gonna make it out
to perkins college today?
701
00:36:42,161 --> 00:36:43,694
what are you doing?
702
00:36:43,727 --> 00:36:45,794
i packed up
some of your things.
703
00:36:45,827 --> 00:36:48,527
there's also, um, an envelope
in here with some money,
704
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,560
and that should tide you over
until you get a job.
705
00:36:51,594 --> 00:36:56,228
what, you're gonna leave me out
here in the middle of nowhere?
706
00:36:56,261 --> 00:37:00,360
i noticed a bus stop
about a mile back.
707
00:37:02,161 --> 00:37:03,994
you can
go anywhere you want.
708
00:37:04,027 --> 00:37:07,560
mama, mom,
please don't do this.
709
00:37:07,594 --> 00:37:09,727
i have to.
710
00:37:11,861 --> 00:37:15,794
i can't be around you anymore.
i'm just not strong enough.
711
00:37:20,294 --> 00:37:22,827
you know what
the good news is?
712
00:37:22,861 --> 00:37:25,228
i win.
713
00:37:25,261 --> 00:37:28,027
you win?
714
00:37:29,961 --> 00:37:33,727
i remember the look in your eyes
when i told you i was gay,
715
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:38,027
and i knew that one day,
you would stop loving me.
716
00:37:41,261 --> 00:37:43,660
so here we are.
717
00:37:43,694 --> 00:37:45,694
i was righ
718
00:37:45,727 --> 00:37:48,861
and i... i win.
719
00:37:51,627 --> 00:37:53,660
well, good for you.
720
00:38:43,427 --> 00:38:46,427
hi. i made you
a thank-you pie,
721
00:38:46,460 --> 00:38:49,527
and by "made,"
i mean "bought." (chuckles)
722
00:39:29,694 --> 00:39:33,294
so what exactly
are you thanking me for?
723
00:39:33,328 --> 00:39:35,961
for keeping edie
from smashing my face in.
724
00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:40,228
that's the nicest thing
anybody ever did for me.
725
00:39:40,261 --> 00:39:43,228
just... trying
to keep peace on the lane.
726
00:39:43,261 --> 00:39:46,460
well, you keep
telling yourself that.
727
00:39:46,493 --> 00:39:48,794
i know why
you really paid that guy off.
728
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,594
you still care about me.
729
00:39:52,627 --> 00:39:54,228
what?
730
00:39:56,328 --> 00:39:58,560
you're always worried
about julie and me,
731
00:39:58,594 --> 00:40:01,760
and you beat up
my new boyfriend.
732
00:40:02,827 --> 00:40:05,794
and now you're
protecting me from edie.
733
00:40:05,827 --> 00:40:08,794
do you know
what all that means?
734
00:40:08,827 --> 00:40:11,594
that you're high maintenance?
735
00:40:14,660 --> 00:40:18,460
all right,
you go ahead a be coy. fine.
736
00:40:18,493 --> 00:40:20,460
i'll be the one
to break the ice.
737
00:40:21,961 --> 00:40:24,894
i've never stopped
caring about you.
738
00:40:26,961 --> 00:40:29,560
is that why
you jumped in bed with karl?
739
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:31,560
i would've
never even gone there
740
00:40:31,594 --> 00:40:34,861
if i had thought
there was a chance with us.
741
00:40:34,894 --> 00:40:37,861
you just closed the door
so completely, i...
742
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:42,194
ugh, can we just not
talk about him?
743
00:40:43,861 --> 00:40:45,660
have some more pie.
744
00:40:45,694 --> 00:40:47,694
i know you like pie.
745
00:40:50,294 --> 00:40:52,294
i know you like me.
746
00:40:54,961 --> 00:40:58,328
listen...
747
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,627
i'm not asking
for us to get back together.
748
00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:03,861
i just
want us to be friends.
749
00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:06,427
susan?
750
00:41:06,460 --> 00:41:08,127
yes?
751
00:41:08,161 --> 00:41:10,827
your house is on fire.
752
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:19,027
my whole house is... on fire!
753
00:41:19,061 --> 00:41:23,560
when the truth is ugly,
people try to keep it hidden,
754
00:41:23,594 --> 00:41:26,294
because they know if revealed,
755
00:41:26,328 --> 00:41:29,594
the damage it will do.
756
00:41:29,627 --> 00:41:32,994
so they conceal it
within sturdy walls...
757
00:41:34,261 --> 00:41:37,594
or they place it
behind closed doors...
758
00:41:39,261 --> 00:41:43,894
or they obscure it
with clever disguises...
759
00:41:43,927 --> 00:41:48,127
but truth, no matter how ugly,
always emerges...
760
00:41:54,827 --> 00:41:56,794
and someone we care about
761
00:41:56,827 --> 00:41:59,727
always ends up getting hurt...
762
00:42:06,228 --> 00:42:10,560
and someone else
will revel in their pain,
763
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:13,760
and that's the ugliest truth
of all.