1 00:00:07,328 --> 00:00:10,520 3x05 - A Thousand and Twenty Questions 2 00:00:11,551 --> 00:00:14,718 ? Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda! ? 3 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,922 ? Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-bom doo boom-boom! ? 4 00:00:17,924 --> 00:00:19,824 ? Raised in a noodle shop ? 5 00:00:19,826 --> 00:00:21,559 ? never seeking glory or fame ? 6 00:00:21,561 --> 00:00:22,860 ? he climbed the mountain top ? 7 00:00:22,862 --> 00:00:25,029 ? and earned the Dragon Warrior name. ? 8 00:00:25,031 --> 00:00:26,397 ? Hu! Ah! Ya! ? 9 00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,165 ? Kung Fu Panda! ? 10 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:30,768 ? Doo-doo-doo-doo- sho-bom, doom-doom-doom! ? 11 00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:34,271 ? Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ? 12 00:00:34,273 --> 00:00:37,808 ? and master the skills of bodacious and awesome ? 13 00:00:37,810 --> 00:00:39,677 ? Kung Fu Panda. ? 14 00:00:39,679 --> 00:00:42,580 ? Doo-doo-doo-doo doom-doom-doom-doom! ? 15 00:00:42,582 --> 00:00:43,647 ? He lives, he trains ? 16 00:00:43,649 --> 00:00:46,350 ? and he fights with the Furious Five ? 17 00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,052 ? protect the Valley somethin' somethin' ? 18 00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:49,353 ? somethin' somethin' alive ? 19 00:00:49,355 --> 00:00:50,654 ? Oh! Ah! Uh! ? 20 00:00:50,656 --> 00:00:53,689 ? Kung Fu Panda ? 21 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,759 ? Legends of awesomeness. ? 22 00:00:56,422 --> 00:00:57,522 Sweet! 23 00:00:59,324 --> 00:01:02,374 [exotic flute music] 24 00:01:03,202 --> 00:01:06,387 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~ 25 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:13,272 [panting] 26 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,407 [footsteps approaching] 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,209 [panting] 28 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,677 [slurps] 29 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,614 [panting] Message for Master Shifu! 30 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:27,119 [gasping] 31 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,888 Whoa, whoa, big breaths. [gasping] 32 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:33,292 Just a message, no need to rush. 33 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,260 What if it's an urgent message? 34 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,896 Oh, my gosh, she's totally right! Is it? 35 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,866 Okay, um, breathe once for not urgent, twice for urgent. 36 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,068 [gasps] Whew! 37 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,369 [gasps] Urgent! 38 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,704 [gasping] 39 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,039 Yeah, now you're just confusing everybody. 40 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:50,142 [panting] From Master Yao. 41 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,743 Yao? You mean...? 42 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,912 The super smart, awesomely powerful kung fu master 43 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,415 who spends all his time in a meditation box? 44 00:01:56,417 --> 00:02:00,552 I was gonna say "Shifu's man-crush," but yeah. 45 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,055 Master Yao? Did he write my name himself? 46 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,290 Because that would really be something for my scrapbook... 47 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,560 I mean, personal archives. [gasps] 48 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,929 What is it? 49 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:14,399 He's... he's coming back,here. To the Jade Palace. 50 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:15,667 - Who? - Yao. 51 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,069 - No! - Yes. 52 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:18,403 - Yao? - Yao. 53 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,505 - When? - Today. 54 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:20,672 - No! - Yes. 55 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,241 - No! - [flatly] Yes. 56 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:26,178 - No! - What is wrong with you? 57 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,046 [door creaking] 58 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,756 But this is so sudden! We haven't had time to prepare! 59 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:41,326 Master Yao requires only a small receiving area 60 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,597 for tomorrow's wonder and wisdom exchange. 61 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,167 Master Yao has graciously offered to share the knowledge 62 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,669 his years of meditation have given him. 63 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,539 Tomorrow, from sunrise to sunset, 64 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:57,309 anyone who brings the master a new wonder to experience... 65 00:02:57,311 --> 00:03:00,145 some unique sight, sound, smell, or taste... 66 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:03,115 will be permitted to ask a single question 67 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,184 of his vast wisdom. 68 00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:08,071 Wait. So we bring Master Yao something smelly 69 00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:10,956 or whatever, and we can ask him anything? 70 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,191 - Yes. - Yao? 71 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,458 - Yes. - No! 72 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,794 - Stop that! - Who? 73 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,230 This is awesome! 74 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,499 I've got, like, a billion questions to ask! 75 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,969 Where do I even start? See? That's another one! 76 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:27,072 Forget it, Po, this event is going to be a madhouse. 77 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,741 C'mon, all your burning questions answered? 78 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,343 How great is that? 79 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:35,514 I don't have burning questions. 80 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,482 Master Shifu, I really don't think... 81 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,351 "Master Yao, what do you look for in a bestie?" 82 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:43,722 No, too aggressive. "in a kung fu companion?" better. 83 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,490 - This is gonna be great! - I know. 84 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,460 Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:54,166 [clanging] 86 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:58,670 Dad! I'm trying to sleep! Can't you fail quieter? 87 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,673 That's the sound of impending vengeance, son. 88 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,876 Behold, the sphere of unerringly acc... 89 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:08,947 [groans] 90 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,616 Are you done with... ? 91 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:14,920 [long groan] 92 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:22,594 [groan continues] 93 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,430 So it's my turn to talk agai... 94 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,431 [groans] 95 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,699 The sphere of... [sharp groan] 96 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:32,571 - Can I at least finish the name? - I know what it is, Dad. 97 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,139 You've been messing with the same 98 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,575 lame ultimate weapon for years. 99 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,578 - It never works. - One tweak away, my boy. 100 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,314 One tweak from mechanized perfection. 101 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:47,886 One tweak from the Furious Five's total humiliation and ruin! 102 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:51,156 [rumbling] 103 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,391 Unh! 104 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,326 I just don't know which tweak. 105 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,761 Ow! Ow! Ow! 106 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,262 Ow! 107 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,998 And Master Yao will really answer any question? 108 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,067 Well, that's what the poster says. 109 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,069 I mean, if you can't believe in posters any more, 110 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,672 what can you believe in? 111 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:13,278 "Wonder and wisdom exchange," huh? 112 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:18,250 This could be quite opportune. Quite opportune, indeed. 113 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:20,585 Opportune, do you hear? 114 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:24,556 [evil laughter] 115 00:05:26,055 --> 00:05:28,115 [music] 116 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,521 We are ready to begin the wonder 117 00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:42,307 and wisdom exchange, Master Yao. 118 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,976 Whoo-hoo! I feel tingly with anticipation! 119 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:49,815 How wonderful! Has anyone come seeking answers yet? 120 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:53,352 [indistinct chatter] 121 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:58,323 [grunting excitedly] 122 00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:01,326 - Master Yao... - Hey! No cutsies! 123 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,629 Ah! Of course. Master Tigress. 124 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:08,200 I don't have a question, I just... Master, please reconsider this. 125 00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,082 There's too big a crowd. It's not safe. 126 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:13,038 - I'm just scared that... - Oh, I don't think asking questions 127 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,508 is anything to be afraid of. Do you? 128 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,477 What? No. I just... 129 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,644 Unh! [groans] 130 00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:20,812 Master Yao, awesome to see you again. 131 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,682 Huge fan of... meditation and... 132 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,484 knowing stuff. 133 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:30,489 Splendid! Have you brought a new wonder to share with me? 134 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,657 Sniff a whiff, my friend. 135 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,727 Freshly. Grated. Ginger. Boom. 136 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,895 [sniffs loudly] 137 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:40,065 Delightful! Very good. Now your question? 138 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,001 Okay. So, say an ice demon marries a fire demon 139 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,336 and they have a baby. 140 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:46,838 Would it be, like, just an ordinary water demon 141 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,875 or some kind of steam demon? 142 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:54,012 [sighs] 143 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,281 Did you want us to save you a spot in line, Tigress? 144 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,351 I told you, I don't have a question for Master Yao. 145 00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:01,753 Besides, somebody has to keep an eye out for threats. 146 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:05,190 An all-knowing master can hardly be taken by surprise, Tigress. 147 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,691 What's really troubling you? 148 00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,561 [giggling] Excuse me. Lot of questions. Make a hole. 149 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:13,064 Nothing. I'm just doing our job. 150 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,134 Come, come, who is next? 151 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,603 I bring you steamed apples with honey. 152 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:22,741 I collect pieces of bamboo that look like famous people. 153 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,477 - This one is Mantis. - Hey! 154 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:29,080 The sound of one hand clapping, huh? 155 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:33,385 Uh, do butterflies remember what it was like to be a caterpillar? 156 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,654 Will I ever know love? 157 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,590 Does this look infected? 158 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,460 [whimpers] 159 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,961 Behold, the wonder of... 160 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,897 A villainous inventor in a cheap novelty disguise! 161 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:51,102 I love it! Very good. Now, your question. 162 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,104 I was going to show you... my... 163 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,607 [nervous laugh] yeah, okay, okay. Great. 164 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,410 So I have this sphere of unerringly accurate... 165 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,679 I am aware of your ultimate weapon. 166 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:04,349 You wish to know why it is not yet working? 167 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,152 Oh, no, no. I-I can handle it myself. 168 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:11,156 I just, um... it's the rod calibration, right? 169 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,157 No. 170 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,592 [smacks forehead] 171 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:17,496 Thank you for participating in the Wonder and wisdom exchange! 172 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,264 Have a wonderful day! 173 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:23,335 What? No! One more guess! The pressure regulator? 174 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,037 The poke-jab matrix? [groans] 175 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,874 Can't you just tell him so he stops embarrassing all of us? 176 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,842 Rules, young Bian Zao. 177 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:35,614 If you would have an answer, you must present a new wonder. 178 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:39,184 Behold, the stench of failure. 179 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,053 [sniffs loudly] Pungent! Very good. 180 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,321 [clears throat] 181 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,524 You must correct for the sphere's oblong rotation 182 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,859 by adjusting the fifth, sixth, and ninth rods 183 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,462 from the base until they reach a concavity 184 00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:54,299 similar to the offset created by your control seat. 185 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,035 Of course! I mean, I would've gotten there eventually. 186 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,671 Totally headed in that direction. 187 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:03,508 You've humiliated me for the last time, Furious Five! 188 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:07,746 Today, Taotie proves that technology is the true master, 189 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,015 and kung fu is stup... 190 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,383 - Hi-yaah! - Unh! 191 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:15,320 - Hunh! - Ow! Oh! Aah! 192 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,889 Bees. Seriously, what's their deal? 193 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,357 Whoa! 194 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,525 Aah! 195 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,228 I brought the master a curved piece of wood. 196 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,262 Cool. 197 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,664 Aah! Whoa! 198 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,265 Unh! 199 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,700 Aah! 200 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,670 [fading shout] 201 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:35,674 - What did you do? - Tigress! What's happened? 202 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:40,345 I don't know, why don't you ask Master Yao? 203 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,716 Okay, but it'll have to be somebody else's question, 204 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,419 'cause I already have got a bee thing. 205 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:56,094 Whatever. I guess I'll just walk back from the Jade Palace. 206 00:09:56,096 --> 00:10:00,465 And just in time for the test run! Lucky you! 207 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:04,536 [groans] Why am I even sarcastic? 208 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,104 [creaking] 209 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,139 [whirring] 210 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,609 [hissing] 211 00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,647 Ha! The old fool was right! 212 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:20,151 Then how is he a fool? Do you even listen to yourself? 213 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,254 Prepare for your ultimate ruin, Furious Five! 214 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,290 For today, you face... 215 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:29,327 the sphere of unerringly accurate acupressure! 216 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,329 [laughs] 217 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:34,265 [creaking] 218 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:38,370 [evil laughter] 219 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,080 Again, Po? 220 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,249 I've only asked seventeen of my questions! 221 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,784 Haven't even touched the subsection 222 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,452 on action figure maintenance. 223 00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:57,789 You'd better hurry. It's starting to get ugly up there. 224 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,091 Did those two just show Master Yao a peony blossom? 225 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,260 - That's completely unfair! - That was going to be my wonder! 226 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:06,665 [overlapping argument] 227 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,536 I got it! Master Yao, have you 228 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,937 ever been hit in the face with a war hammer? 229 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:13,972 Ooh! 230 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,373 [everyone talking at once] 231 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,643 Okay, we're done here. 232 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,212 [hollow thud] 233 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:24,716 - Hah! - How thrilling! 234 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,284 [crowd yelling] 235 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,952 Woo-hoo-hoo! 236 00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:30,121 Master Yao? Is it sundown already? 237 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,523 Unh! 238 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:35,293 [laughs] This rescue is marvelous! 239 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,796 Woo-hoo-hoo! 240 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:40,365 [panting] Whoa! 241 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,960 I'm afraid you're going nowhere! 242 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,869 [panicked screams] 243 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,205 Except on a very short journey 244 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:52,377 - to the land of defeat and shame! - We're getting neighbors? 245 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,580 We are rolling to the valley of victory, 246 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:59,384 on board the sphere of unerringly accurate acupressure! 247 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:04,355 You made a riding massage ball? 248 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:08,727 It's not a massage ball! It's a weapon of unspeakable terror! 249 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:12,097 Hey, send some unspeakable terror to my lower lumbar region. 250 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,565 I got a knot like nobody's... 251 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,933 Aah! Huh? 252 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,901 Unh! 253 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:17,902 What? Ow! 254 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,037 [repeated slapping] 255 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,406 Ow! Stop... Ow! hitting... Ow!...me! 256 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,241 Aah! 257 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,242 Ooh! 258 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,243 [gasps] 259 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,244 [grunts] 260 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,613 [grunting] 261 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,616 [all grunting] 262 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,052 [laughs] 263 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,420 Enough! 264 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,922 Whoa! 265 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,425 Hi-yaah! 266 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,361 I've spent years making detailed pressure point charts 267 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,196 on each one of you! 268 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,732 With one strike from my unerringly accurate 269 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:52,604 acupressure rods, I can force Mantis to spin like a child's toy! 270 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:56,141 Whoooaa! 271 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,944 - Pretzel-ize viper. - Unh! 272 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:03,548 - Dance the Monkey. - Di, di, doo! 273 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,317 Bladder control! 274 00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:10,054 In short, I've found the perfect weapon to defeat you. 275 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,024 You! 276 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,128 [laughs] 277 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:22,233 Oh! I have never hidden out from an angry mob before! 278 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:25,904 What a wondrous new experience you have given me! 279 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:29,274 Very good. Now, your question? 280 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,277 What? I didn't come to you for a question. 281 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:35,513 Yes. Master Shifu, the Dragon Warrior, 282 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:39,250 and the rest of the Furious Five all took me up on my offer, 283 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:43,121 yet you did not. Why is this, I wonder? 284 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:47,125 I keep telling everyone, I don't have any questions. 285 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:52,130 Of course you do. "Is Master Shifu proud of me?" 286 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:56,201 "Am I performing the dipping phoenix twist kick correctly?" 287 00:13:56,203 --> 00:14:01,172 "Why am I so angry so often?" 288 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,642 Aah! I have surprised you. 289 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,545 Then perhaps you will answer me a question. 290 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:11,507 Why do you refuse to ask what you wish to know? 291 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:14,953 I... I... [shrieks] 292 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:18,273 - Po? - Ah! That impetuous scoundrel 293 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:22,193 Taotie has taken the Jade Palace with his mighty new weapon. 294 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,796 - You knew about this? - I know everything. 295 00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:27,465 Stay out of sight! I'll be back after I've rescued them! 296 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:31,236 This would be most unwise, and entirely unsuccessful. 297 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:32,704 What? 298 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,741 There is only one way for you to defeat Taotie's machine. 299 00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,843 And that would be... ? 300 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:41,145 I will be happy to answer that question. 301 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:44,883 As soon as you bring me a new wonder to experience. 302 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,886 What? I... [growls] 303 00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:51,556 - Here! - I have seen rocks before. 304 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,893 - This one's... gray? - Ooh! Good! 305 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:59,230 But, I've seen that, too. 306 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,066 [evil laugh] 307 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,736 All: Aah! Ow! Ow! 308 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,272 [growls] Hi-yaah! 309 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,241 - Unh! 310 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,511 [quickly] Pretty dingo pony bacon wanna ride the choo-choo! 311 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,414 Whoa. There's a pressure point for that, too? 312 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,783 The magic of unerringly accurate acupressure, 313 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:22,720 my dear flabby fool! I can make you do anything! 314 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:26,291 And yet you still can't make me respect you. 315 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,394 Release us, Taotie. You've had your fun. 316 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:33,264 Sure. I've had fun, but who am I to be selfish? 317 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,533 No, no, no. 318 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,103 We're taking this acupressure puppet show to town! 319 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:42,240 Let the entire valley see how my awesome machine 320 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,276 crushes your pathetic kung fu! 321 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,046 [evil laugh] 322 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:52,317 I should point out you will also be personally crushed. 323 00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:58,089 Unh! 324 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,325 Whoa! 325 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,095 [evil laugh] 326 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,597 You're gonna break your stupid puppet show. 327 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:10,501 Art is suffering, son. Their suffering. 328 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,471 You can't really expect us to keep this up forever. 329 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:18,109 No. Just until your bodies give out and you die. 330 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,478 [lever cranks] 331 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,387 - Ladies and gentlemen! - Huh? 332 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:34,959 - Taotie and son entertainment... - Don't include me. 333 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,997 Proudly presents... these idiots! 334 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:43,501 [kung fu grunts] 335 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,138 Are you just going to let this happen? 336 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,107 It is not for me to interfere. 337 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,709 I was shown a new wonder and answered a question. 338 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,612 Where is your wonder? 339 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:55,780 Ugh! 340 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,315 Aah! 341 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,150 Ooh! 342 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,853 Whoa! 343 00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:07,291 Ma'am, I need you to find Tigress or Master Yao 344 00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,127 And tell them that we... ugh! 345 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:13,297 [loud kissing] 346 00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:15,133 Gah! 347 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,403 That's my wife! 348 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,039 Uh, that totally wasn't... ow! 349 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:25,643 - This roof tile. - I have seen roof tiles. 350 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:29,247 - The sky. - Yes, beautiful! Seen it. 351 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:32,984 - This other roof tile. - That is the same roof tile. 352 00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:34,585 Hunh! 353 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,087 Ooh. Hard style. 354 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,991 Excellent for kung fu, not so good for people. 355 00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,660 [pained grunts] 356 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,830 This parade is confusing and disturbing. 357 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,332 You're right, the show's rambling a bit in the middle. 358 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,202 Let's cut straight to the points. 359 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,471 Ow! 360 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:05,700 - I do not like where this is going. - Is there a point to this, 361 00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:07,885 and if so, can you make it a little quicker? 362 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,754 Forgive my fascination. 363 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,557 They say that curiosity killed the cat, 364 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:17,261 so how strange to see a cat who's killed her curiosity. 365 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:21,032 What did poor curiosity ever do to you? 366 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:25,403 - Why is the sky blue? - Wow, that was a very stupid question. 367 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,438 [jeering laughter] 368 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,274 How can soup be sweet and sour? 369 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,611 Aw, what an adorably stupid question. 370 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:38,616 [jeering laughter] 371 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,819 [panting] 372 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,426 I... 373 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:51,295 [sighs] 374 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,468 The stoic Master Tigress 375 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:01,772 displaying total and utter vulnerability. 376 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,509 A rare and precious wonder indeed! 377 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,812 Very good. Now, your question? 378 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:14,418 How do I beat Taotie's machine? 379 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:19,223 A splendid question! First, you will need... a box. 380 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,859 [music] 381 00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:26,864 [kung fu grunts] 382 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,544 [chuckles] 383 00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:43,347 I'm sorry! My body's just naturally awesome at throwing stuff! 384 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:46,884 - Monkey, look out! - Wha... ? 385 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,554 Unh! Hunh! 386 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:54,725 - What? - Show's over. 387 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,862 Finally! I wondered what happened to my last acu-puppet. 388 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,532 Careful, Tigress! His thing does... things! 389 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,904 I'll be honest, I've been iffy on the science this whole time. 390 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:10,808 I'll bite. What's in the box? 391 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,746 Hello, that's Master Yao's box. 392 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,683 He's totally gonna come out and kung fu you so hard you'll... 393 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,151 [creaking] 394 00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:28,759 Okay, truth bomb? I was not expecting that. 395 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,831 Yes, hide in cowardice! 396 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,168 For all will learn to fear and respect Taotie and his mighty... 397 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,269 [battle cry] 398 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,239 [screaming] 399 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:47,011 What are you... ? 400 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,615 [kung fu grunts] 401 00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:57,788 Aah! 402 00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:06,597 [laughs] 403 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:11,302 [wild laughter] 404 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,805 Hi-yaah! [whimpers] 405 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:20,645 - Stop that! - Hunh! 406 00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:24,915 [gasps] 407 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,385 [yawns] 408 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,296 What? 409 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,331 - Hi-yaah! - Ooh! 410 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,835 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 411 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:53,311 Stop that! I acupressure command you! 412 00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,313 - Hi-yaah! - Ooh! 413 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,348 [battle cry] 414 00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:01,185 [shattering] 415 00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:02,687 [screaming] 416 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:08,759 My sphere of unerringly accurate acupressure! 417 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:13,998 It's ruined! Completely ruined! 418 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,033 Except the one that wrecks your bladder control. 419 00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,501 Unh! 420 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:21,505 [water trickling] And there it goes again. 421 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,544 Well done, Tigress! 422 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,280 That was the most awesome... 423 00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:32,516 what was that, box-fu? Kung-tainer? 424 00:22:35,053 --> 00:22:37,722 Anyway, whatever, you can come out of your box now. 425 00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:40,157 Yeah. I know I can. 426 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:43,060 Abject humiliation! Ha! I love it! 427 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,362 [water trickling] 428 00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:46,364 Great! Then can you tell me how to stop this? 429 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:51,302 Certainly I can! You must... Oh, alas, it is sundown. 430 00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:55,873 Our Wonder and wisdom exchange is over. Bye-bye! 431 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:59,410 Do you need a best friend and can it be me? 432 00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:02,413 Hey, never hurts to ask. 433 00:23:03,777 --> 00:23:06,981 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~