1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,850 It is for a documentary. 4 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:37,420 Brother, show this to Modi. 5 00:00:37,450 --> 00:00:38,460 No, don't worry. 6 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,240 I am Chris and this is my lock-down memoir. 7 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:21,280 There will be many differences between... 8 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:27,880 Louis Malle's 1969 documentary, Calcutta, and this film. 9 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,000 Firstly and most importantly, 10 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,850 this film is not about Kolkata, 11 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,200 even though the city and its people... 12 00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:39,740 feature in this movie at various points. 13 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,600 Since I watched Calcutta 10 years ago, 14 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,000 I have always dreamt of coming to this city, 15 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,260 and filming a continuation to whatever... 16 00:01:57,460 --> 00:02:00,180 Malle witnessed 50 years ago. 17 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,080 His gaze was of a Westerner... 18 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,760 and everything he saw was through that Western curiosity. 19 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:16,000 I am no more of an insider than Malle himself was, in this city. 20 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,100 I don't speak Bengali or Hindi. 21 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,980 The moment you take the camera out to shoot, 22 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,000 people become aware of it. 23 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:35,000 My idea was to spend an year in Kolkata... 24 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,320 and gather as much footage as I can and edit it all at the end. 25 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:46,200 I was lucky to get a producer who got interested in the concept. 26 00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:51,040 So myself and my wife Anita came to Kolkata on... 27 00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:53,580 January 3rd, 2020. 28 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,000 It was the first time in Kolkata for both of us. 29 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,370 As I started looking at the city through my viewfinder, 30 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,760 the city started fascinating me more than I ever expected. 31 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:12,760 Anita has been acting in Malayalam movies... 32 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,320 and there was a gap between the schedules of two films. 33 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,600 So she decided to tag along to take a break from the regular life, 34 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:25,000 and I rented a small apartment in Alipur. 35 00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:39,760 She doesn't like the song... 36 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,320 ...with glue! 37 00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:47,780 Will impress the girl with missed calls... 38 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,540 Stick my photograph to your heart my love, 39 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Stick, oh dear... 40 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:06,360 Stick with glue. 41 00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:09,480 On your feet. 42 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:13,840 I have been ready for a long time... 43 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,420 Impress me, my love. 44 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,240 Okay, that was very good. 45 00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:21,140 Oh brother, she is carrying. 46 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,200 Would a human do this in her condition? 47 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,200 Hey guy, the girl did what she could. 48 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,880 Now you show us what you can do. 49 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:39,420 Why did you intoxicate my youth? 50 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,200 You don't like this song? 51 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:49,900 Hips... When you shake your hips, a lollipop is how you look! 52 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:59,200 When you apply lipstick, it moves the whole district. 53 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:03,000 You look the best in the entire district. 54 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:11,750 Hips... When you shake your hips, a lollipop is how you look! 55 00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:17,960 When you wear a nose ring, the cities of Bhabhua and Mohaniya go stirring. 56 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,500 Oh you look stunning! 57 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,200 You look like butter ice-cream... 58 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:35,200 Hips... When you shake your hips, a lollipop is how you look! 59 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,380 Nargees. 60 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:42,400 When you shake your hips... 61 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,360 Wont you dance anymore? 62 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,700 People are waiting to see. What is bothering your mind? 63 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,900 The first three weeks were very peaceful. 64 00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:03,480 On January 30th, the first case of corona was reported in India. 65 00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,820 But I was roaming on the streets of Kolkata.. 66 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,060 till the last week of February. 67 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:15,520 By the beginning of March we decided to stay in confinement... 68 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,900 until we get to know what is really happening around us. 69 00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:23,080 One good thing that happened to me... 70 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,940 due to this lock-down is that, 71 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,520 I got back my reading habit. 72 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,880 The first book I opened is... 73 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:36,000 Emil Cioran's 'On the Heights of Despair'. 74 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,920 At first, I thought of making this film in two parts. 75 00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:52,760 One with the camera on her, and the next one on me. 76 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,900 But I would know that I am acting. 77 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,720 And she is not great with words. 78 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,080 And it is known to everyone that, 79 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,700 you don't need brains to be an actor. 80 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,220 For others, she may be a star. 81 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,740 But she is too unreal, plastic. 82 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,320 She does not understand that... 83 00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:22,520 nobody else would examine her this closely. 84 00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:28,560 She would appear in front of the camera only with her make-up on. 85 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,480 Too shallow. 86 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,700 Look at the kind of roles she chooses! 87 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,760 So I decided to film her discreetly. 88 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:52,640 Seems like it is the time of her periods again. 89 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,620 I hate periods, I fuckin' hate it! 90 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,320 It is not for the reasons you might assume. 91 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,780 If you think that it is because she doesn't cook for me during this time, 92 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,800 I don't want her to cook for me at all. 93 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,620 I can survive with a microwave and a freezer. 94 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,340 Shoot of my dream project got canceled... 95 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,320 after I had shot for almost two months. 96 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,160 Fucking producers. 97 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:28,460 They asked me to wait for three months for more funds. 98 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,100 I tried pleading and even threatening them, but they wont concede. 99 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:38,860 This is why I believe that there should be more micro budget films. 100 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:43,400 Now that I have a camera and a subject to film, 101 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:48,080 let me free myself and cinema from the hands of capitalism. 102 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,960 Can we go out for a drive? 103 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,900 I don't think it is safe. 104 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,850 Let us talk. 105 00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:13,690 If you stay inside the car and keep the glasses up, we will be safe. 106 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:18,730 It is not safe. If we go, we may have to stop at least to pee. 107 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:19,960 So we are not going? 108 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,340 Let's go in the evening. Then I can shoot a couple of videos too. 109 00:12:23,340 --> 00:12:24,300 What video? 110 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,500 Like you don't know! 111 00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:30,300 Don't shoot anything today. Spend some time with me. 112 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,660 Give me some time. 113 00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:33,580 We are together only! 114 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,020 Yeah, right! 115 00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:37,280 You will always be with your camera. 116 00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:40,000 It happens all the time, and I will be left out. 117 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:43,400 I wanted to get out as I have been staying inside for so long. 118 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,460 Do I have to spend time alone there too? 119 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,740 You think I don't have any frustrations? 120 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:53,020 Why can't it be about me as well? At least, sometimes. 121 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,860 It is always about you. 122 00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:57,620 I just want to be able to do what I like doing too. 123 00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,860 Chris, I just asked you to spend some time with me. 124 00:13:01,020 --> 00:13:03,560 And this is how you respond. Wonderful! 125 00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,400 You always say that you want to be a part of what I do. 126 00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,180 Then carry the tripod... 127 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,340 Or help me with changing lenses... 128 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,900 Forget it. You can go with your camera. 129 00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:21,900 A virus is an organism at the edge of life. 130 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,420 They say that it is information covered in fat. 131 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:31,720 Once it enters your body, 132 00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:36,520 it passes down the information that is unnecessary for your body. 133 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,280 Or in other words, unnecessary information can hurt you. 134 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,380 I have always tended to look away... 135 00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,160 when something that I don't like occur. 136 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,400 That is my defense mechanism. 137 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,020 That is how I grew up. 138 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,000 Now, they say that the virus is everywhere. 139 00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,460 And I am stuck in this rented apartment with her... 140 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,960 for over a week now. 141 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,760 A complete lock-down is not in place yet, but... 142 00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,120 it is safer to self quarantine. 143 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,640 Imagine living with someone who shares almost nothing with you. 144 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:26,440 You have to give some sort of meaning to that relationship, right? 145 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,260 You remember that shot from Kieslowski's Camera Buff? 146 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,580 As the main character's wife walks out, 147 00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:40,800 he brings up his fingers looking for a frame to shoot that. 148 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:43,780 I am that guy. 149 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,680 And here is another privileged upper middle class 150 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,440 pseudo-feminist lying down with her... 151 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,480 'I am here to impress myself and nobody else' attitude. 152 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:04,760 Bullshit. 153 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:11,040 First of all, these unscientific methods are not going to help her skin. 154 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:20,320 She adds vitamin A pills to eggs everyday and applies it on her hair. 155 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,800 That is blasphemy. 156 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,140 She eats only fruits and chicken. 157 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:29,680 If I cook rice, she wouldn't touch it. 158 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,340 Not because she doesn't like it but since she is on a diet. 159 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,740 I know what you are thinking right now. 160 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,280 Let her eat what she wants to eat. 161 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,440 But have you tried living with someone... 162 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,020 who wants to share a lifestyle with you? 163 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:49,660 And do everything according to her wish? 164 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,100 Anyway. 165 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:57,280 Even if we assume that all this insanity is going to help her get a... 166 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,720 fairer skin and a slimmer body, 167 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,780 she is confirming to the mainstream standards of beauty, 168 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,800 which is obviously constructed for the male gaze. 169 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,720 You think that is feminism? 170 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,700 Trust me, I am a better feminist than that. 171 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,360 She loves the attention from randoms. 172 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,200 That explains why she became an actress and not a filmmaker. 173 00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:30,360 A filmmaker always tries to resonate... 174 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,740 with the people who can understand him. 175 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:37,520 But an actress just wants someone to care for her. 176 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,260 Anyone. 177 00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:44,160 That is a hell of a lot of daddy issues right there. 178 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,300 These guys who see her only for her skin complexion... 179 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,760 or the voice in which she sings, 180 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,260 they just want to fuck her. 181 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,500 I have a theory. 182 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,000 Everything we do in the public domain... 183 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,720 is to attract potential sexual partners. 184 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,320 Everything we do, creating an art work, 185 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,220 making a film, writing a poem, 186 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,600 singing a song, playing an instrument or even... 187 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,840 talking sweetly is an advertisement for our sexual organs. 188 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,280 There is only one difference. 189 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,560 Either you care who you fuck or you don't. 190 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:44,660 She loves to sign autographs and pose for photos with randoms. 191 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,460 She says that it is all part of the inevitable marketing. 192 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:08,320 Not only a different country, even if one comes from a different state, 193 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,260 he has to be quarantined for fourteen days, as per the government order. 194 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,440 If he goes out, the cops will throw him in jail. 195 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:22,900 And that would affect his prospects of getting a VISA to study abroad. 196 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,900 You can scare him by saying that. 197 00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,700 Mom, it is pointless to take him for screening. 198 00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:37,200 They would check only his temperature. 199 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:39,740 You can't know if he is infected. 200 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,420 It would take up to ten days to develop symptoms. 201 00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:48,100 That is to see if he already has got a fever. 202 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,720 If he takes a Panadol, the fever wouldn't show. 203 00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:53,420 You can expect him to do something like that too. 204 00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:57,460 What cough? 205 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,660 Coughing must be from his habit of smoking. 206 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,260 There'd be headache and all. Ask him to stay home no matter what! 207 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,740 Even if he has got something, there is nothing else to do. 208 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,060 Ask him to stay in isolation. 209 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,500 That's just pathetic. 210 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,460 Mom, what are you trying to say? 211 00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:32,620 That all the other kids are bad and yours alone is a saint!? 212 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,820 He would be the one to spoil other children too. 213 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:48,500 I will try. He is not someone who listens to me. But I shall try. 214 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,780 I cannot assure you that I can put some sense into him. 215 00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:58,380 Maid is not coming. I am managing by myself. 216 00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:00,900 Yeah. I cook whatever I know. 217 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:08,420 No thanks. I am happy with whatever I know. I am already doing enough. 218 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:17,140 It has been more than a week since I got out. 219 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:24,820 Ask mom to make him do some dishes, cleaning and some cooking. 220 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:34,780 Also ask him to wash the clothes of Pappa, Mamma, you and himself... 221 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,660 and put them out to dry. 222 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,280 You need not do all the work alone. 223 00:20:42,380 --> 00:20:45,220 Let him learn some household jobs too. 224 00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,660 Now if he is shy to do women's jobs, 225 00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:56,860 ask him to plough the land and plant some vegetables. 226 00:20:57,140 --> 00:21:00,000 My dream project is delayed indefinitely. 227 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,740 And the entire world is shut down. 228 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,000 And all they have to discuss is about her little brother. 229 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,720 That little piece of shit is so useless that... 230 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,000 he once borrowed my car and ran over a pedestrian. 231 00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:17,180 Who told these blunders? 232 00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:23,040 It is not that only people over sixty-five get infected, 233 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:26,360 it can be fatal for people over sixty five. 234 00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:28,820 That doesn't mean that youngsters are safe. 235 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:34,780 And since you smoke and all, you are susceptible. 236 00:21:39,140 --> 00:21:41,000 It's not a matter of your health alone. 237 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,480 There is something called social responsibility. 238 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,060 What is the use of studying at a big university! 239 00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:48,500 Stay at home. 240 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:58,020 Even if they say something, ignore that! 241 00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:06,340 I told Mom too. Screening wouldn't tell us anything. 242 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,600 Stay in for at least ten days, if not fourteen. 243 00:22:09,820 --> 00:22:15,700 No. You had that accident too! So don't drive for a while. 244 00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:25,540 She is staying home. You can also stay. 245 00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:30,700 I have Prime, Netflix... 246 00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,380 Chris has also got MUBI and some other services. 247 00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:38,460 I will get the passwords for you. 248 00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:42,160 I have wasted more money and time on him than... 249 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:45,080 I have ever on my own family. 250 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:50,020 Anita used to say that I don't understand things... 251 00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:51,880 because I am a single child. 252 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:57,180 You don't need to be single child to run away from exploiters. Come on. 253 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:04,860 That reminds me of the times when we used to properly sit and talk. 254 00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:08,980 For years now we have managed to avoid each other's company. 255 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:14,240 She has been traveling from one shoot to another. 256 00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:17,520 And I have been either planning a shoot or... 257 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,340 staying home for most of the time. 258 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,400 I used to love solitude before I met Anita. 259 00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:28,560 When we fell in love, like every other couple... 260 00:23:28,890 --> 00:23:31,360 we could not stay apart even for a minute. 261 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:34,560 Later that minute became a necessity 262 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:39,080 and as time passed, that minute became a day and... 263 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,620 not long before it evolved into weeks. 264 00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:47,620 If it was not for this situation... 265 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,540 neither of us would have spent all these days... 266 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,540 in an apartment together. 267 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,580 Anyway, it's not all that bad. 268 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,900 Now at least I get to make this movie. 269 00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:04,720 She can't survive without the company of random stupid people. 270 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,960 It has been only two months and... 271 00:24:08,020 --> 00:24:10,120 she has already made friends with this... 272 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,480 Mallu woman who lives downstairs. 273 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:17,740 Now she has donned the role of her relationship counselor. 274 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,660 As if she knows how to manage her relationship herself! 275 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:27,100 Wouldn't even bring the tea cup he used, to the kitchen. 276 00:24:27,460 --> 00:24:29,700 One day, James came back from work early 277 00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:32,220 and starved until I came back from work... 278 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,680 saying there was no one to serve him. 279 00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,780 If it's so difficult, let him starve. 280 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:41,260 It is not our necessity to feed them! 281 00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:44,280 I wouldn't blame James though. 282 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,420 It's all because of how he was brought up. 283 00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:48,260 If we go to his house for vacation! 284 00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:53,100 That's how it works with privilege. Those who have got it wouldn't part with it. 285 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,100 He has changed a bit now. 286 00:24:55,340 --> 00:24:59,360 But cooking and bringing the children up are still my responsibility. 287 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,180 Please drink your tea. 288 00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:06,580 Is your hair naturally curly or have you done something to it? 289 00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:11,020 Everybody asks me that. It has always been like this. 290 00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:13,300 When I was at LSR (a prestigious college), 291 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:16,420 straightening the hair became a fashion. 292 00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:18,260 I also straightened my hair then. 293 00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,260 That was the trend back then! 294 00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:24,180 I had it straightened for almost fifteen years. 295 00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:27,500 But, I felt really sad after that. 296 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:32,700 Because straightening can ruin its volume and texture forever. 297 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,700 I always wonder why these girls do this to themselves! 298 00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:38,780 My sister also used to bleach her hair for a while. 299 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,360 This bitch and many other bitches come to visit her... 300 00:25:42,460 --> 00:25:45,880 at the most unexpected and at the least preferred times. 301 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,300 It is funny. They all look and sound the same to me. 302 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,880 If it was not for the corona, 303 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:57,520 they wouldn't have stopped admiring each other with their fingers. 304 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,500 Yeah, I do know that all females are lesbians. 305 00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:06,940 - Surabhi also told me. You are so lucky. Chris supports you with everything. 306 00:26:06,980 --> 00:26:09,380 Even if there are some fights, you are loved. 307 00:26:09,380 --> 00:26:11,380 Yeah. He is a bit tender these days. 308 00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:16,140 James doesn't like me even wearing a good sari. 309 00:26:16,140 --> 00:26:18,740 He wants to have the final say in everything. 310 00:26:18,740 --> 00:26:23,060 Chris is not like that. He wouldn't tell anything then and there, 311 00:26:23,140 --> 00:26:26,820 but would bring up everything when we disagree on something else. 312 00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:31,940 He would even accuse that I dressed up to show off to someone else. 313 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,940 I see. I thought... 314 00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:39,540 Oh! They are men. They are all the same. 315 00:26:39,780 --> 00:26:43,460 How does she know for sure that this bitch hasn't got corona? 316 00:26:44,540 --> 00:26:48,780 While we were in Kerala too she used to get visitors almost every day. 317 00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:52,620 These women tend to find each other no matter where they go. 318 00:26:55,780 --> 00:27:00,620 And it is official, a complete lockdown is in place from today in Kolakata. 319 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,860 And I am stuck with her for who knows how long! 320 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:10,460 Mummy, sometimes Chris is like that, you know! 321 00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:20,820 I don't know about that. He tells me that he loves his brother. 322 00:27:25,620 --> 00:27:26,540 That's true. 323 00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:32,060 Once Johny's father-in-law rang him asking for some favor. 324 00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:35,220 He avoided him, saying that he was too busy. 325 00:27:44,380 --> 00:27:47,620 What! Wasn't that before his shoot began! 326 00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:54,800 He would help the people he likes. 327 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,700 Otherwise he would act like they don't exist. 328 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,940 She is talking to my mother. 329 00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,840 See how she manages her relationship issues? 330 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,280 By bitching about me to my mother. 331 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,040 As if she knows about me so well. 332 00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:18,740 My entire life got fucked over by these two women. 333 00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:21,980 And now they are forming a league. 334 00:28:30,220 --> 00:28:32,440 Somebody told her that she can increase... 335 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,340 her vital capacity if she does yoga. 336 00:28:37,020 --> 00:28:39,080 If you have good lungs, corona cannot... 337 00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:41,020 do much to you apparently. 338 00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:43,860 She is someone who claims to be... 339 00:28:43,940 --> 00:28:46,120 extremely scientific about things. 340 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,260 But at the same time she believes that... 341 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,060 coconut water can cure cancer, 342 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,220 sandalwood can lighten your skin complexion, etc. 343 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,100 A rare combination of pseudo science and... 344 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,200 unnecessary Wikipedia knowledge she is. 345 00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:21,780 I have tried my best to educate her... 346 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,880 put some real sense into her. 347 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,920 But all efforts have been for not. 348 00:29:30,460 --> 00:29:32,580 You deserve this black screen for... 349 00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:35,400 successfully bearing her face for this long. 350 00:29:36,140 --> 00:29:38,980 It seems like it is not getting any better outside... 351 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,320 even during the second week of April. 352 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,920 Today morning I got an email from my producer that... 353 00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:50,580 he cannot go on with the Kolkata project any longer. 354 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,580 It is impossible to find a new producer at this stage. 355 00:29:56,100 --> 00:30:00,180 I should have doubted this when he hesitated to sign the contract itself. 356 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,260 So whatever I shot outside are pretty much useless. 357 00:30:07,460 --> 00:30:10,520 That's when I thought, why not use them here? 358 00:30:11,900 --> 00:30:15,560 Could give you a break from the monotonous interiors too. 359 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,600 I used to crave for the interiors. 360 00:30:20,940 --> 00:30:23,160 I would have shot these rooms and windows... 361 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,780 in a much different way, if it was three months ago. 362 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,180 Her constant presence makes these rooms... 363 00:30:31,260 --> 00:30:33,300 look smaller than they used to be. 364 00:30:35,220 --> 00:30:39,140 What virus changed the most is how we perceive the world. 365 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,640 The most interesting aspect of Malle's documentary was... 366 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,240 the people staring back at the camera. 367 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,820 He assigns it certain exotic value... 368 00:31:15,180 --> 00:31:16,800 of the unknown culture. 369 00:31:18,100 --> 00:31:21,220 But for me it is just a reminder of my existence... 370 00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,780 right in the middle of this crowd. 371 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,900 The only apparent difference I possess from them is my camera. 372 00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:34,680 Even then some natives tend to come to me asking for directions. 373 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:43,840 No matter how hard she tries, Anita cannot enjoy this kind of stuff. 374 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,160 Maybe it is not her fault she is wired that way. 375 00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:55,920 When we started dating, she told me that she loves filmmaking. 376 00:31:57,420 --> 00:31:59,800 And we used to watch movies together. 377 00:32:01,700 --> 00:32:05,640 We started drifting apart not when we stopped having sex, 378 00:32:06,020 --> 00:32:08,700 but when we stopped watching movies together. 379 00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:13,220 I congratulate myself for never having a baby with her. 380 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,820 I have mentioned earlier about... 381 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,500 how she enjoys the attention of the camera. 382 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,860 She gets hundreds of messages every day... 383 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:53,580 complimenting her looks. 384 00:35:54,060 --> 00:35:57,500 And she sends a heart to every single one of those texts. 385 00:36:03,180 --> 00:36:05,980 Superficiality is what she thrives on. 386 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:51,280 She is reading Paulo Coelho, and they call her the intellectual one. 387 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:57,960 She even used to go to colleges to empower women and all. 388 00:37:00,860 --> 00:37:04,040 Before we left Kerala, she went to some seminar... 389 00:37:04,190 --> 00:37:07,500 organized by some intellectuals about the importance of... 390 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:10,860 scientific knowledge over religious faith. 391 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,900 These idiots would go all ecstatic... 392 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,820 when a pretty face with boobs talk about... 393 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:22,240 how the universe is conspiring for your dreams and all. 394 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,240 Tell me about the height of hypocrisy in everyday life. 395 00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:34,680 She is one of those morons who think that... 396 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,320 her irrational superstitions can help... 397 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,640 the world survive a virus outbreak. 398 00:37:43,240 --> 00:37:47,680 I dare her to walk out unprotected and let her God save her. 399 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,140 We once went to Ooty together. 400 00:38:06,820 --> 00:38:09,640 While we were in the gardens clicking photos... 401 00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:12,340 it fell out of her mouth by accident... 402 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,980 how she used to enjoy cooking for her ex. 403 00:38:17,460 --> 00:38:22,040 Trust me, I am not the possessive, jealous guy I once used to be. 404 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,220 But back then, it hurt me. 405 00:38:25,340 --> 00:38:29,120 And I know that she intended to hurt me because... 406 00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,240 I asked her to stop the elaborate cooking... 407 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,860 that she used to do every night. 408 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:40,860 The kitchen would look like a war field after 8 pm every night. 409 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:45,480 I was only trying to help her by asking to stop it. 410 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,840 It doesn't matter what we actually talk about. 411 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,560 Every conversation attempted these days lead to this. 412 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:54,120 So? 413 00:39:57,710 --> 00:40:01,800 See, I know that you are getting suffocated here, 414 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,180 but I am used to this kind of lifestyle. 415 00:40:04,340 --> 00:40:07,680 That's why I don't try to comfort you. 416 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,660 I was just asking about the potato bread. 417 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,640 It is good. 418 00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:14,860 Really? 419 00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:19,780 I have told you that your cooking is really good. 420 00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:25,160 See, it was all that I wanted to hear from you. 421 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:30,480 When you talk to me without being arrogant, that's all I need! 422 00:40:31,460 --> 00:40:33,960 You wouldn't miss even one chance to blame me! 423 00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,140 I was appreciating you, man! 424 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:44,060 You'd manage to ruin everything good. 425 00:40:44,140 --> 00:40:46,180 That's what you have specialized in. 426 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:47,960 Fuck off. 427 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,520 What did you say? Fuck you? 428 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:02,520 What? Are you trying to scare me? 429 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,160 Piece of shit. 430 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:12,560 It was Anita herself who told me while we were dating that... 431 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,040 every husband and wife thinks about killing their partner... 432 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,160 at least once in their marriage. 433 00:41:19,540 --> 00:41:21,760 I still haven't had murder thoughts but... 434 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,600 I would have preferred a nice quiet night, 435 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,320 eating my take away while I don't have to do... 436 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,700 deep analysis on how to compliment the meal. 437 00:41:32,380 --> 00:41:36,000 What is the bloody use of her praying to some imaginary guy... 438 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,740 if she is going to behave like this with me all the time? 439 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,760 Every time we talk, it turns out to be another mental game. 440 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:50,720 We do a bit too much so we can use that against the other in the future. 441 00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,820 Anita used to win prizes at school for... 442 00:42:20,940 --> 00:42:23,320 story writing competitions, I have heard. 443 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:28,120 But I have never seen her writing anything since we got together. 444 00:42:29,220 --> 00:42:33,080 I have asked her several times why she doesn't write anymore. 445 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,720 She never gave me a proper answer. 446 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,560 Maybe it is me who stopped her, or maybe it is her laziness. 447 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,880 Maybe she does not feel that void anymore... 448 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,620 after I have filled them, like she told me a few years ago. 449 00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:53,240 Oh yes! I do remember what she said from the day one, 450 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,600 if they are compliments. 451 00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:50,240 You would think that I am manipulating footages. 452 00:43:51,740 --> 00:43:54,560 But you must understand that all I am doing is... 453 00:43:54,940 --> 00:43:57,960 to collect footages of her daily routine and... 454 00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:01,020 juxtapose them in the order of my thoughts. 455 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,260 Cinema is about juxtaposing instances of life 456 00:44:12,740 --> 00:44:15,600 and trying to make some sense out of it. 457 00:44:17,220 --> 00:44:18,140 What's going on? 458 00:44:19,140 --> 00:44:20,940 I am making a cake. 459 00:44:20,980 --> 00:44:23,080 It's Vrinda's birthday today. 460 00:44:23,660 --> 00:44:25,860 So I thought of baking a cake for her. 461 00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:29,260 Are you really dumb or are you acting dumb? 462 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,080 I don't understand. I am just making a cake for her. 463 00:44:32,140 --> 00:44:33,960 She is my friend. It is her birthday. 464 00:44:34,060 --> 00:44:35,900 It is lockdown! 465 00:44:35,900 --> 00:44:39,420 Yeah... So she can't go out to buy a cake! That's why I decided to bake one. 466 00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:41,700 Why are we risking our lives? 467 00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:47,700 I am not gonna meet her. I will just leave this at her doorstep and come back. 468 00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:52,780 That's not the issue. We are living with minimal resources here. 469 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,460 You can't waste stuff like this. 470 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,580 Chris, I have used only three eggs. What's wrong with you? 471 00:44:59,580 --> 00:45:02,220 We went for shopping together last week. 472 00:45:02,340 --> 00:45:10,500 We bought only what is necessary for our survival, that too until the fifteenth. 473 00:45:10,620 --> 00:45:15,180 And you are just throwing it all away to show off! 474 00:45:15,220 --> 00:45:18,980 Chris, I am the one who cooks here. I use only very minimal resources. 475 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,400 Oh, are you? What about all those times when I cooked for myself? 476 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:26,060 Are you trying to imply in between that I never cook here? 477 00:45:26,060 --> 00:45:28,780 But mostly I am cooking. I made pickles... 478 00:45:28,940 --> 00:45:33,180 I blanched vegetables, kept them in the freezer. I have done a lot of work. 479 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:37,220 Yeah so? That doesn't give you the right to waste things, right? 480 00:45:37,380 --> 00:45:42,380 Chris, If Vrinda makes a biriyani or pasta, doesn't she share that with us? 481 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,640 But the situations have changed. 482 00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:46,080 It is her birthday today! 483 00:45:46,140 --> 00:45:48,760 You haven't got the seriousness of the situation! 484 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:53,660 I took only some wheat flour, butter and three eggs! 485 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:59,980 I took only three. There are enough eggs for you till the fifteenth. 486 00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:02,460 I don't want any. Is that okay? 487 00:46:02,620 --> 00:46:05,960 I can survive on paneer, I will eat something. I don't want eggs. 488 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,740 So you would rather starve for your friend. 489 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:12,380 You are trying to make me feel guilty for three fucking eggs? 490 00:46:12,620 --> 00:46:17,740 Just going to put this bloody cake at her doorstep and I am going to walk away. 491 00:46:17,780 --> 00:46:20,600 I am not going to touch her. She is not going to touch me. 492 00:46:20,660 --> 00:46:24,120 After I come here, I will call her up and say, 'Surprise! Just open it up.' 493 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,180 Why are you such a paranoid asshole?! 494 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:30,120 What are you trying to prove to me Anita? 495 00:46:32,460 --> 00:46:38,380 So the intensity of this situation hasn't gotten registered into that stupid head of yours! 496 00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,080 I am not an idiot, Chris. I am not getting out. 497 00:46:41,140 --> 00:46:42,820 Then why are you acting like one? 498 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:46,440 This makes me happy. All my fucking shoots got canceled. 499 00:46:46,860 --> 00:46:49,260 I have endorsements, nothing is happening. 500 00:46:49,380 --> 00:46:52,860 I am stuck here, and I am someone with some creative energy. 501 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,380 Baking makes me happy. 502 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,000 This is how you create? 503 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,620 Baking is creative. It makes me happy. 504 00:46:59,740 --> 00:47:02,720 Some silly recipe you saw on Youtube! 505 00:47:02,780 --> 00:47:05,440 Not from Youtube. My mother taught me this recipe. 506 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:08,580 I used to do this as a child. It is nostalgic for me. 507 00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:12,680 Why are you making me explain so much for three fucking eggs? 508 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:18,020 Not that I spent all your money. I too earn. I have supported you for months. 509 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:22,460 I too have supported you for ages! 510 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:23,480 When was that? 511 00:47:23,580 --> 00:47:27,080 How did you survive before you had a career? 512 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:28,680 You were just a student. 513 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,040 So what? I made it! 514 00:47:31,300 --> 00:47:33,340 By acting in my movie. 515 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,680 That was my first movie. But I don't act in your movies anymore. 516 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,020 Yeah, because I don't cast you anymore. 517 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:45,700 Right! You think it was easy to stand your majesty's dictatorship! 518 00:47:45,700 --> 00:47:50,320 Why don't you learn from James? He provides for so many homeless everyday. 519 00:47:50,500 --> 00:48:00,380 Maybe that's why she is sleeping around while he is away for business. 520 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,860 Chris, she doesn't cross the line! 521 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:07,300 Even if she does, it is her fucking business. What's wrong with you? 522 00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:08,980 Why are you so paranoid? 523 00:48:09,060 --> 00:48:13,800 Why do you insist on having such shitty friends and keeping some so close? 524 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,500 I am not asking you to be an altruist. 525 00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,320 I am just saying that give a bit. 526 00:48:21,460 --> 00:48:23,680 What is wrong with you? I am trying my best. 527 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,620 I just wanted to be happy. I am stranded here. 528 00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:29,420 I don't have anything else to do. Vrinda is a nice girl. 529 00:48:29,660 --> 00:48:31,520 Of course, Vrinda is a better person. 530 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,560 If I were not straight, I would have married her. 531 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:38,820 Please do me a favor. When you go down with the cake... 532 00:48:39,060 --> 00:48:41,600 please stay there. Please don't come back. 533 00:48:41,980 --> 00:48:43,460 Who are you to tell me that? 534 00:48:43,820 --> 00:48:47,840 Because this is a house that my producer gave me. 535 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:54,000 You think I cannot afford a rented apartment? I can also do the same. 536 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:58,260 What about all the fucking shit you wear? Who bought them for you? 537 00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:02,780 When I met you, you were wrapped in rags! I taught you some sense. 538 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:04,680 That was much better. 539 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,420 I taught you some sense. I got you so many things. 540 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:11,020 What sense? The sense of the upper class? 541 00:49:11,900 --> 00:49:13,600 Why am I even explaining to you? 542 00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:15,420 Who sanitized the place she sat? 543 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,640 I don't want to explain anything to you. 544 00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:20,640 I didn't ask you to sanitize it. You are a fucking moron. 545 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,340 A paranoid asshole. That is not my problem. 546 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:27,780 Now keep away from my fucking cake and go and kill yourself, you moron! 547 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,060 The politically correct idiot that I was! 548 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,480 I used to think that it was the conformist in her... 549 00:49:42,700 --> 00:49:46,160 who was always thinking about cooking and feeding randoms. 550 00:49:47,540 --> 00:49:51,640 Her friends alone have eaten at least a few life's worth of food. 551 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:58,380 She lives in some utopia where she gets all the nice things in life. 552 00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,700 That too at the very moment she wants them. 553 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,740 I grew up in a family of farmers. 554 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,720 It is in my genes to live with what I have got. 555 00:50:11,940 --> 00:50:16,280 I don't know what kind of parenting technique her parents employed, but... 556 00:50:16,720 --> 00:50:19,680 whatever they are, they weren't much of a success. 557 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:25,940 I don't understand how she can forget the hard times we live in. 558 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,980 Even the meaning of hard times is different for her. 559 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,920 She is incapable of making use of the opportunities... 560 00:50:35,020 --> 00:50:37,820 that these times have provided us with. 561 00:50:38,420 --> 00:50:42,680 I know that it is insensitive to be too optimistic at this point. 562 00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:44,920 But we have to go on. 563 00:50:45,740 --> 00:50:47,220 Art has to go on. 564 00:50:47,940 --> 00:50:52,520 You have two choices. You can either worry about your future... 565 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:56,380 and plant every bloody seed you can find in the kitchen... 566 00:50:56,820 --> 00:50:59,560 and try to grow them in your balcony. 567 00:50:59,940 --> 00:51:02,740 Or you can try to create something meaningful. 568 00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:07,900 In Kerala, actors are usually addressed as artists. 569 00:51:09,380 --> 00:51:10,420 Yeah, right. 570 00:51:12,740 --> 00:51:15,540 You might wonder why I am making this film. 571 00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:21,240 They have never seen the real person beneath the two inch thick foundation. 572 00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:25,100 I am doing her and the world a favor. 573 00:51:25,860 --> 00:51:28,140 Let the truth speak for itself. 574 00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:35,280 Maybe the fate of Julian Assange and Edward Snowden is waiting me too, but hey... 575 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,860 True heroes are always recognized only after their death. 576 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:48,740 I met her for the first time during the preview of one of my films. 577 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,800 She was a student back then. 578 00:51:51,660 --> 00:51:56,240 Later she acted in one of my movies and now she has a very busy career... 579 00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,620 even though the money is not that great. 580 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:05,200 You know how actresses are treated in our movie industry. 581 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:12,640 Sometimes I feel that she wouldn't have minded doing some compromises... 582 00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:14,380 if she was not with me. 583 00:52:28,860 --> 00:52:31,200 I feel for people in marriages. 584 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,260 If they have even a bit of individuality left in them, 585 00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,460 how can they stand another person forcing them... 586 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,820 to live in certain way every day of their lives! 587 00:52:43,580 --> 00:52:46,100 Maybe she too feels the same. 588 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:51,860 Maybe she is someone with entirely different set of morals and priorities. 589 00:52:52,820 --> 00:52:55,280 That brings me back to the question of... 590 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,260 why we got together in the first place. 591 00:52:59,580 --> 00:53:01,220 Was it merely her looks? 592 00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:04,200 No... I have met prettier girls. 593 00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:07,040 Or was it because I was desperate? 594 00:53:07,540 --> 00:53:09,120 Again, I am a filmmaker. 595 00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:14,100 And it is not difficult for a filmmaker, no matter who he is, to get laid. 596 00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:21,140 At that point our hormones made us feel something lyrical, 597 00:53:21,340 --> 00:53:23,140 something magical, 598 00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:26,600 something we both wished never ended. 599 00:53:28,780 --> 00:53:32,820 But as a matter of fact, like everything would, it also ended. 600 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,280 From two people who didn't stand each other's absence, 601 00:53:38,740 --> 00:53:43,940 we also turned into two people who cannot stand each other's presence anymore. 602 00:53:45,740 --> 00:53:48,120 I remember something from those days. 603 00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:56,540 I once gifted her 'The Poetics of Space' by Gaston Bachelard. 604 00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:01,260 Years later, when I visited her family once, 605 00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:04,420 I found the same book on her sister's shelf. 606 00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:11,100 What is even funnier is that Anita hadn't read even a single page of that book. 607 00:54:12,900 --> 00:54:14,300 Doesn't matter now. 608 00:54:15,180 --> 00:54:18,800 What is more important now, I think is, 609 00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:22,840 if we manage to come out of this situation, 610 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,440 is there a hope for a better future? 611 00:54:57,740 --> 00:55:01,220 What's your bloody issue, man!? 612 00:55:01,460 --> 00:55:03,220 Why can't you close it slowly? 613 00:55:03,460 --> 00:55:07,160 Why do you disturb my sleep every single night? 614 00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:09,220 I am so sick of you. 615 00:55:20,380 --> 00:55:22,760 You better sleep before me from now on. 616 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,780 Or you sleep outside. 617 00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:28,280 Do you understand? 618 00:55:28,420 --> 00:55:29,200 Yeah... 619 00:55:32,060 --> 00:55:36,020 One night I decided to sleep outside after she talked to me like this. 620 00:55:37,780 --> 00:55:39,320 Around 2 o'clock at night... 621 00:55:39,620 --> 00:55:42,580 she came there asking why I abandoned her... 622 00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,780 and won't love her anymore. 623 00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:52,180 We have been doing almost everything that... 624 00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,560 a married couple is not supposed to do. 625 00:55:55,660 --> 00:55:58,340 We fight, we swear at each other, 626 00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,240 we even feel sometimes that the other person might kill us. 627 00:56:04,060 --> 00:56:08,880 I have never fallen into a depression like I used to, after meeting her. 628 00:56:15,140 --> 00:56:17,300 She too shares this opinion, I think. 629 00:56:18,180 --> 00:56:22,740 She said on my birthday that there has never been a dull moment. 630 00:56:25,900 --> 00:56:30,220 If I have succeeded in entertaining one person with my life itself, 631 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:32,840 that is not a bad life at all. 632 00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,780 But is that enough to live on? I am not sure. 633 00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:41,200 What if we could spend all this energy in a better way? 634 00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,720 What if we could truly act like a team? 635 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,360 Or are we too different even physiologically that... 636 00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:51,780 the two of us were never meant to be together? 637 00:56:52,820 --> 00:56:53,660 I don't know. 638 00:56:56,140 --> 00:56:58,100 What if there is no light at all? 639 00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:04,740 What if there is only the tunnel? Can someone be content with that? 640 00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,460 Isn't peace a bit too overrated? 641 00:57:10,060 --> 00:57:10,860 I don't know. 642 00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,940 You know that we haven't had sex in six months right? 643 00:57:22,620 --> 00:57:26,280 When the initial passion of a marriage wears out, that is natural. 644 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:28,400 No, it is not. 645 00:57:30,020 --> 00:57:32,720 Just think that we have better priorities now. 646 00:57:35,260 --> 00:57:37,260 I cannot be in a relationship when... 647 00:57:37,420 --> 00:57:40,100 my partner thinks that I am not his priority. 648 00:57:41,180 --> 00:57:43,260 What are you... a three-year-old? 649 00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:57,600 So, when you are in the mood... 650 00:57:58,100 --> 00:58:00,500 I am supposed to come to the mood too? 651 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,980 But when I have the need, you will make me beg for it? 652 00:58:06,060 --> 00:58:08,340 Nobody is forcing you to have sex with me... 653 00:58:08,380 --> 00:58:09,760 when you are not in the mood, 654 00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,280 and look at yourself! 655 00:58:13,060 --> 00:58:15,320 Why do you make me beg even for sex? 656 00:58:16,460 --> 00:58:18,440 I am not making you do anything. 657 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,120 I just don't have the mood. 658 00:58:26,220 --> 00:58:27,820 Do one thing, get out. 659 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,740 I will watch some porn and masturbate. 660 00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,040 Come, sit down. 661 00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:40,700 What? 662 00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:42,620 As partners I believe that... 663 00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,340 we should never hide anything from each other. 664 00:59:45,580 --> 00:59:46,420 That's alright. 665 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,400 I would expect that from you too. 666 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:50,080 What are you talking about? 667 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,160 Everything. 668 00:59:51,220 --> 00:59:53,150 You think I am hiding something from you? 669 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:54,640 No, I want to ask you something. 670 00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:55,320 What? 671 00:59:55,580 --> 00:59:58,180 Did you really do what you said you were going to do? 672 00:59:58,220 --> 00:59:59,600 You mean the masturbation? 673 00:59:59,660 --> 01:00:00,100 Yeah. 674 01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:03,440 Yeah... What else did you expect? 675 01:00:03,940 --> 01:00:06,680 Who were you thinking about while masturbating? 676 01:00:07,460 --> 01:00:09,120 It is none of your business. 677 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:10,560 It is my business. 678 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,000 I don't think so. 679 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:14,000 Yes, it is. 680 01:00:16,220 --> 01:00:18,000 It really doesn't matter Chris. 681 01:00:18,140 --> 01:00:20,840 It wasn't you if that is what you are so curious about. 682 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,160 Who then? You were masturbating to your ex? 683 01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:24,520 Chris, stop it. 684 01:00:24,820 --> 01:00:27,680 Who else? That asshole childhood buddy of yours? 685 01:00:28,260 --> 01:00:30,380 May be it is him! Who are you... 686 01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:54,960 You cannot provoke someone to a point... 687 01:00:55,020 --> 01:00:56,980 where they have no other option... 688 01:00:56,980 --> 01:01:00,840 but to defend themselves and then call them an abuser. 689 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,120 Every relationship is a power game... 690 01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:29,320 and the tactics are valid only when you are inside the game. 691 01:02:30,740 --> 01:02:32,300 Now the game is over. 692 01:02:35,460 --> 01:02:37,460 It was silly of her to walk out. 693 01:02:39,660 --> 01:02:42,500 I am just another man with a thousand shortcomings. 694 01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,300 And everything I say would be biased. 695 01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:52,200 While objectifying is one of its characteristics, 696 01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:57,000 camera has the tendency to connect you with the subject of the film. 697 01:02:58,220 --> 01:03:02,480 And I haven't refrained myself from using her close-ups. 698 01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,260 When you have nothing new to do, 699 01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:12,900 you start collecting things from the past. 700 01:03:14,380 --> 01:03:18,960 As Bergson said, matter is composed of images. 701 01:03:21,940 --> 01:03:25,680 Since I lost my religious faith when I was 15, 702 01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,180 I have been in search for an alternative. 703 01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:32,220 And cinema found me. 704 01:03:33,140 --> 01:03:36,640 A camera and a computer is all that I need to keep living. 705 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,480 If you look hard enough, 706 01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:42,700 you can always find subjects around you. 707 01:03:44,140 --> 01:03:45,920 At least in your memories. 708 01:03:47,660 --> 01:03:50,340 If you ask whether there is any hope left, 709 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,420 that question itself is meaningless. 710 01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,200 These shots get their attribute of... 711 01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,560 waiting for something from their mere existence. 712 01:04:04,540 --> 01:04:08,180 But whether you are in a state of having a partner or not, 713 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,900 the quality of life remains unchanged. 714 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:25,600 After she left, I finished that book that I was reading. 715 01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,140 It was as if someone wrote that book just for me. 716 01:04:38,820 --> 01:04:41,140 Life is death's prisoner. 717 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,240 Like how a movie is always trapped between... 718 01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,220 two blank screens. 719 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:53,100 In my eyes, this whole situation is a mere reminder of that. 720 01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:30,980 When the tomb of Majnun was once visited by the spirit of Layla... 721 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:40,840 She carried with her, a few withered flowers of her desires. 722 01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:52,900 From the grave came a voice, as she was about to place them... 723 01:05:53,700 --> 01:06:06,700 You may offer them all, my Beloved, but slowly... slowly... 724 01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:21,540 The veil slides from her face, slowly... slowly... 725 01:06:22,100 --> 01:06:33,880 The moon comes out, slowly... slowly... 726 01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:46,320 The veil slides from her face, slowly... slowly... 727 01:06:49,800 --> 01:07:00,640 As she entered adolescence, she started to shy away from me... 728 01:07:01,020 --> 01:07:12,980 As she entered adolescence, she started to shy away from me... 729 01:07:13,340 --> 01:07:25,600 Modesty came to her very soon, but youth came slowly... slowly... 730 01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:37,420 I am awake since the night of separation, Oh Angels! Let me sleep now. 731 01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:44,020 I am awake since the night of separation, Oh Angels! 732 01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:48,260 Let me sleep now. 733 01:07:48,620 --> 01:08:00,780 You may take account of my deeds some other time, but slowly... slowly... 734 01:08:02,180 --> 01:08:12,940 They slit the throat mercilessly, and I tell the kinsmen... 735 01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:24,620 They slit the throat mercilessly, and I tell the kinsmen... 736 01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:37,840 Your honor, slowly... slowly... My Lord, slowly... slowly... 737 01:08:38,100 --> 01:08:50,880 The veil slides from her face, slowly... slowly...