1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:09,554 --> 00:01:10,679 (DOGS BARKING) 3 00:01:15,393 --> 00:01:17,894 - (SQUEAKING) - (WHIMPERING) 4 00:01:28,072 --> 00:01:29,114 (GUNS COCKING) 5 00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,827 Ah, the Heckler & Koch G36. 6 00:01:33,911 --> 00:01:36,246 Quite deadly in the right hands. 7 00:01:56,225 --> 00:01:57,434 (GUN COCKS) 8 00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:01,563 Ah! Agent One. 9 00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:06,109 I have been so looking forward to this moment. 10 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,031 Well, in that case, I'll try not to disappoint. 11 00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:16,411 You overestimate your power over women, Mr English. 12 00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:20,624 I'd say that would be virtually impossible. 13 00:02:34,096 --> 00:02:37,682 Sir? Sir? 14 00:02:39,268 --> 00:02:40,852 - Sir! - (EXCLAIMS) 15 00:02:40,937 --> 00:02:42,229 - Have you got them? - Hmm? 16 00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:44,564 The mission documents. Agent One's flying to Biarritz tonight. 17 00:02:44,649 --> 00:02:47,234 Yes, yes, the mission documents. They're here somewhere. Don't worry. 18 00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:49,402 Ah! Here we are. 19 00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,242 Agent One. 20 00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:57,661 Gentlemen. 21 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:04,501 I'm here for my documents. 22 00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:08,880 Bough, Agent One's documents, please. 23 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,469 - (CLEARS THROAT) - Thank you. 24 00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:16,096 Your mission documents, Agent One. 25 00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:19,849 Including the codes for the submarine hatch, which I've checked myself. 26 00:03:22,687 --> 00:03:25,188 - Thank you. - So, is it just France tonight, 27 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:28,817 or will you be slipping over the Pyrenees as well? 28 00:03:29,819 --> 00:03:33,071 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. 29 00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:35,740 Oh! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 30 00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:41,871 (STAMMERING) Oh, yes, yes. Well, I expect you would. 31 00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:44,791 Cheerio, Agent One. 32 00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,376 Bonne chance! 33 00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,128 Arrivederci. 34 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:54,050 Such class. Such distinction. 35 00:03:55,094 --> 00:03:56,636 (BELL TOLLING) 36 00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:08,606 The greatest secret agent England's ever had, snuffed out in an instant. 37 00:04:08,691 --> 00:04:10,233 Terrible. 38 00:04:11,694 --> 00:04:15,155 Do you know what makes us envied the world over, Bough? 39 00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:18,575 That there's always another agent waiting to step into the breach. 40 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,701 Absolutely, sir. 41 00:04:19,785 --> 00:04:22,746 And every last one of them is gathered round that grave. 42 00:04:23,372 --> 00:04:27,375 It is our honour and privilege to guard them while they grieve. 43 00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:30,503 Their lives are in our hands, Bough. 44 00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:34,424 (TYRES SCREECHING) 45 00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:43,725 Everything in order, English? 46 00:04:44,477 --> 00:04:47,103 I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, sir. 47 00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:51,274 You're now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. 48 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:57,322 (COW MOOING) 49 00:04:59,617 --> 00:05:01,951 MAN : Pegasus, we face a national crisis. 50 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:05,413 Agent One was clearly onto something, and we have to find out what. 51 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,124 I need another agent on this immediately. Who else is there? 52 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:12,504 No one, Prime Minister. They all died in the explosion. 53 00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:14,631 All of them? 54 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,675 Well, luckily there is one who survived. 55 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:19,302 Who? 56 00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:23,807 One eye on the shadows Protecting his fellows 57 00:05:24,183 --> 00:05:25,266 From sunup to the moon on his back 58 00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:26,684 (GRUNTING) 59 00:05:27,353 --> 00:05:29,687 Sendin' villains to Hades A hit with the ladies 60 00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:31,147 Johnny. Hello. 61 00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:34,526 A stallion in the sack 62 00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,862 You can't get your life back when right follows left, jack 63 00:05:37,947 --> 00:05:39,072 (THUDDING) 64 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,242 The more you see, the less you know 65 00:05:43,327 --> 00:05:47,288 When others would leak it His service is secret 66 00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:50,375 Plays God when it's your time to go 67 00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:54,337 Hey, fellas Don't be jealous 68 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,757 When they made him, they broke the mould 69 00:05:57,842 --> 00:06:01,970 So charismatic With an automatic 70 00:06:02,054 --> 00:06:05,765 Never prematurely shooting his load 71 00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:11,187 Queen and country safe and sound With villains six feet underground 72 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:14,274 And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace 73 00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:19,028 Of a man for all seasons Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 74 00:06:19,864 --> 00:06:21,990 So alone 75 00:06:22,825 --> 00:06:26,786 And you and I wouldn't have a clue Who's doin' what, why, when and who 76 00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:28,621 Up a creek with no canoe 77 00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:32,041 Watch out for the man for all seasons 78 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:35,003 Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 79 00:06:35,087 --> 00:06:40,884 So alone But safe at home 80 00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:45,096 Yeah, yeah 81 00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:49,601 But safe at home But safe at home 82 00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:57,817 And you and I wouldn't have a clue Who's doin' what, why, when and who 83 00:06:57,902 --> 00:06:59,652 Up a creek with no canoe 84 00:06:59,737 --> 00:07:03,031 Watch out for the man for all seasons 85 00:07:03,115 --> 00:07:06,075 Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 86 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:11,915 So alone But safe at home 87 00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,793 Right. 88 00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,838 Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus. 89 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:22,967 Still, no sense rushing things. 90 00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,345 (TYRES SCREECHING) 91 00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:28,139 There are some items you need to sign before your briefing. 92 00:07:28,599 --> 00:07:30,934 This is your new retinal ID card, 93 00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:34,854 - and this is your level nine security clearance. - Mmm-hmm. 94 00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:36,314 Sign and date, please. 95 00:07:36,398 --> 00:07:37,607 (GROANS) 96 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,734 Ah! 97 00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:44,280 Oh, reminds me of the old service-issue ballpoint. 98 00:07:44,907 --> 00:07:48,117 I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this. 99 00:07:48,285 --> 00:07:51,704 Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice... 100 00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:52,997 - (FIRES) - (GASPS) 101 00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:57,418 Ah, English, there you are. 102 00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:00,463 Have you seen my secretary? 103 00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:02,048 Um... 104 00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:04,467 She went out. 105 00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:06,761 Um... 106 00:08:08,806 --> 00:08:09,806 Shall we? 107 00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:13,768 Now, Agent One believed 108 00:08:13,852 --> 00:08:16,854 that there was a plot to steal the Crown Jewels. 109 00:08:16,939 --> 00:08:19,607 Now, they've recently been through a multimillion-pound restoration, 110 00:08:19,692 --> 00:08:21,859 largely paid for by a corporate sponsor, of course. 111 00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:24,320 And they're due to be unveiled tonight at the Tower of London. 112 00:08:24,947 --> 00:08:28,199 Unfortunately, the Queen is insisting that the ceremony goes ahead, 113 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,701 so what we want you to... 114 00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,789 Ha! 115 00:08:34,873 --> 00:08:36,916 Who... Who... 116 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,419 Who is the sponsor, sir? 117 00:08:39,878 --> 00:08:41,671 Pascal Sauvage. 118 00:08:42,131 --> 00:08:45,091 What, that flouncy Frenchman who owns a couple of prisons? 119 00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:48,469 Sauvage's £7-billion empire, English, 120 00:08:48,554 --> 00:08:51,347 operates over 400 prisons in 60 countries. 121 00:08:51,682 --> 00:08:53,808 - He's built 25 of them here. - Right, sir. 122 00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:56,603 The man's related to the royal family, for goodness' sake. 123 00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:58,521 As far as the prime minister's concerned, 124 00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,648 he's one of the greatest friends England's got. 125 00:09:02,401 --> 00:09:06,070 Now, English, I want you at the Tower tonight, 126 00:09:06,155 --> 00:09:08,031 monitoring this unveiling. 127 00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:10,617 Any chink in security, any weakness, 128 00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:13,620 however slight, must be plugged immediately. 129 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,414 Do we understand each other? 130 00:09:16,999 --> 00:09:18,791 - Perfectly, sir. - Good. 131 00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,919 - Oh, yes. - And, English, 132 00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:25,381 we can't afford any mistakes. Not tonight. 133 00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:29,677 The word "mistake," sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary. 134 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,516 (ENGINE REWING) 135 00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:37,810 Fantastic car, sir! 136 00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:40,063 (INDISTINCT) 137 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:52,533 Mr English, Colonel Sir Anthony Chevenix, head of royal security. 138 00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:54,369 Ah, Colonel, good evening. 139 00:09:54,453 --> 00:09:56,663 Snipers posted on the roof as per my request? 140 00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,331 - Thirteen of them. - Windows? 141 00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:01,084 Refitted with bullet- and shatter-proof glass, as ordered. 142 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,423 I shall now mingle inconspicuously with the guests. 143 00:10:07,966 --> 00:10:10,718 - Let me know when Her Majesty arrives. - Very good. 144 00:10:11,637 --> 00:10:13,346 Shall I mingle with you, sir? 145 00:10:13,931 --> 00:10:16,974 Oh, yes, Bough. Once you've checked the roof. 146 00:10:21,939 --> 00:10:23,356 (INDISTINCT) 147 00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:37,787 (SCREAMING) 148 00:10:39,957 --> 00:10:42,041 WOMAN : Help! Help! 149 00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:44,043 ENGLISH : Well, hello. 150 00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:47,296 Hello, yourself. 151 00:10:47,798 --> 00:10:50,216 Johnny English. 152 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,844 Lorna Campbell. 153 00:10:52,928 --> 00:10:55,179 A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy. 154 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,934 So, are you here in some professional capacity? 155 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,145 I worked on the restoration of the Jewels. 156 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,981 - Intriguing. - And yourself? 157 00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:09,444 (CHUCKLES) If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you. 158 00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:11,404 I'd like to see you try. 159 00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:20,747 Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty, 160 00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:22,832 may I welcome you to the Tower. 161 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,500 Merci, monsieur. 162 00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,754 So, are you here alone, Mr English? 163 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,673 That's how I choose to live my life, Miss Campbell. 164 00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:35,845 Women want safety, security. I can offer them nothing but danger. 165 00:11:36,597 --> 00:11:38,848 Some women find danger very attractive. 166 00:11:39,975 --> 00:11:42,018 Women like you, Miss Campbell? 167 00:11:44,146 --> 00:11:49,025 Women like me expect men like you to find that out for yourself. 168 00:11:50,319 --> 00:11:51,402 Hmm! 169 00:11:53,197 --> 00:11:55,239 Madame. 170 00:11:55,324 --> 00:11:56,657 Oh, it's for me, actually. 171 00:11:56,742 --> 00:11:57,742 And could you rustle up 172 00:11:57,826 --> 00:12:00,036 some of those cheesy niblets that are going around? 173 00:12:00,662 --> 00:12:02,371 Now, where were we? 174 00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,708 You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage. 175 00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:08,127 No, thank God. 176 00:12:08,212 --> 00:12:12,715 You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus 177 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,551 than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. 178 00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:17,470 As far as I'm concerned, 179 00:12:17,554 --> 00:12:20,681 the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion. 180 00:12:21,058 --> 00:12:22,350 (SNICKERS) 181 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,436 Sorry, can I help? 182 00:12:25,521 --> 00:12:28,981 Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman. 183 00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:32,068 Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you. 184 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,152 SAUVAGE : Enchanté. 185 00:12:33,237 --> 00:12:34,612 (STAMMERING) 186 00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:38,366 But of course! You're Johnny English. I've heard all about you. 187 00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:42,161 And between you and me, I'm not so keen on the French myself. 188 00:12:42,246 --> 00:12:44,080 But, please, don't tell them that. 189 00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:47,333 Let me go and search for your nibbly cheese bits. 190 00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:48,709 (STAMMERING) No, no, I don't... 191 00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:52,463 Please, I insist. The French are, after all, fantastic waiters. 192 00:12:52,756 --> 00:12:54,215 - The best in the world. - Well, but... But... 193 00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:57,301 - Wait here, and I will wait on you. - No, no, really. There's no... 194 00:12:57,386 --> 00:13:00,304 No, no. Please, please, please, please! 195 00:13:02,224 --> 00:13:03,432 (SIGHS) 196 00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,726 (SCOFFS) Les Français. 197 00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:11,482 Ils sont very... (EXCLAIMS) N'est-ce pas? 198 00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:30,543 Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, 199 00:13:30,627 --> 00:13:35,298 bienvenue, welcome tonight to this wonderful occasion. 200 00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:39,218 As we stand here in the Tower of London, 201 00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:41,512 the most famous prison in the world, 202 00:13:41,597 --> 00:13:46,934 where these wonderful Jewels will rest safely under lock and key, 203 00:13:47,019 --> 00:13:48,311 (ALL CHUCKLING) 204 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:53,065 I want to thank you for giving me this wonderful experience 205 00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:58,112 to contribute to the restoration of these Jewels. 206 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,825 - It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of. - (SIGHS) 207 00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:04,452 - (FEIGNED CHUCKLE) - And what a beautiful... 208 00:14:05,329 --> 00:14:06,662 (SCREAMING) 209 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,303 (GRUNTS) 210 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,182 (WOMAN SCREAMS) 211 00:14:26,808 --> 00:14:31,479 It's Colonel Chevenix! He's got a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him? 212 00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:34,815 The assailant. He ran in here. 213 00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:37,526 Bough, you guard the door. 214 00:14:38,028 --> 00:14:39,111 A-ha! 215 00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:43,157 - (GRUNTING) - (POUNDING) 216 00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:47,453 Oh, for God's sake, Bough, don't come in. The man's a maniac! 217 00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:48,537 (ALL GASPING) 218 00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:51,457 You don't frighten me! 219 00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:52,583 - (GLASS SHATTERS) - Missed! 220 00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:53,709 (CLANGING) 221 00:14:53,794 --> 00:14:55,211 (ALL GASPING) 222 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:57,797 - (SPITS) - (CLATTERING) 223 00:14:57,881 --> 00:14:59,715 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIM) 224 00:15:00,384 --> 00:15:01,717 (GRUNTING) 225 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,722 (THUDDING) 226 00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:09,392 (KARATE YELLS) 227 00:15:15,816 --> 00:15:16,857 (GRUNTING) 228 00:15:16,942 --> 00:15:17,942 (THUDDING) 229 00:15:18,026 --> 00:15:19,276 (ALL GASP) 230 00:15:22,906 --> 00:15:24,407 (ALL EXCLAIM) 231 00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:26,575 I have managed to subdue the assailant. 232 00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:30,287 The panic's over. Everything's under control. 233 00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:31,706 (APPLAUSE) 234 00:15:33,417 --> 00:15:34,834 (CHEVENIX GROANS) 235 00:15:34,918 --> 00:15:37,169 Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen, 236 00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,464 we should compose ourselves for the arrival of Her Majesty 237 00:15:40,716 --> 00:15:47,304 and return to the site of our great nation's magnificently restored Crown Jewels. 238 00:15:47,389 --> 00:15:48,431 (WHIRRING) 239 00:15:49,933 --> 00:15:51,350 (ALL GASPING) 240 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,353 I know. I feel it, too. 241 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,356 The very symbols of our island nation, 242 00:15:57,441 --> 00:16:01,027 so close we could almost reach out and... 243 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,820 (FANFARE) 244 00:16:03,113 --> 00:16:05,656 MAN : Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen. 245 00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:09,452 QUEEN : Oh, where are the Jewels? 246 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,872 PEGASUS : It's an unmitigated disaster, English. 247 00:16:12,956 --> 00:16:14,540 I couldn't agree more, sir. 248 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,627 Well, we need to get these Jewels back, English, and fast. 249 00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:26,177 Tell me about this assailant, because when they searched the room later, 250 00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:27,303 there was no sign of him. 251 00:16:27,512 --> 00:16:29,847 Well, the man was clearly a professional. 252 00:16:30,474 --> 00:16:33,642 He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated. 253 00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:36,270 But he's the only lead we've got, English. We have to find him. 254 00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:40,566 Come in. This is... This is Roger from Data Support. 255 00:16:41,359 --> 00:16:44,528 Please sit down. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. 256 00:16:45,489 --> 00:16:47,740 So tell us, what did this man look like? 257 00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:49,450 Um... 258 00:16:49,785 --> 00:16:51,368 Well... 259 00:16:51,453 --> 00:16:53,913 He was big. 260 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,247 Hair colour? 261 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,416 Um... 262 00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:00,544 Orange. 263 00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:03,631 - Orange? - Mmm. And curly. 264 00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:06,884 Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing. 265 00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:10,513 - Frizzy. - An eye patch. 266 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:13,933 Broken nose. Very few teeth. 267 00:17:14,351 --> 00:17:15,976 Two, I would say, at the most. 268 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,939 And a scar on his cheek, 269 00:17:20,357 --> 00:17:24,318 in the shape of a banana. 270 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,738 - ROGER: Which cheek? - Both cheeks. 271 00:17:28,532 --> 00:17:30,366 They sort of met in the middle. 272 00:17:31,409 --> 00:17:33,035 (BLEEPING) 273 00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:40,668 Are you sure about this, English? 274 00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:41,794 (GASPS) 275 00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:46,298 ENGLISH : Yes, that's him. An uncanny resemblance. 276 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,717 Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us. 277 00:17:50,929 --> 00:17:52,388 (HORN HONKING) 278 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,098 (TYRES SCREECHING) 279 00:17:56,309 --> 00:18:00,646 Wow! (CHUCKLES) Look at this, sir. Got all the bells and whistles, doesn't it? 280 00:18:00,772 --> 00:18:03,983 Never mind about the gadgets, Bough. Just focus on the case. 281 00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,484 (HORN HONKS) 282 00:18:09,239 --> 00:18:10,573 (ENGINE REVS) 283 00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:13,075 Oh, uh... 284 00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:23,002 Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you very much for waiting. 285 00:18:23,086 --> 00:18:27,089 Now, the question that faces us this morning is a simple one. 286 00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:32,261 Namely, how did the thieves gain access to this highly secure environment 287 00:18:32,637 --> 00:18:35,097 and then escape with the Jewels afterwards? 288 00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:36,807 A simple question, 289 00:18:36,892 --> 00:18:40,477 but one which I believe has a complex answer. 290 00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:43,439 - Actually, sir... - Please, Bough. My mind is at work. 291 00:18:44,107 --> 00:18:47,193 Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen, is that the master criminal 292 00:18:47,277 --> 00:18:50,946 sees not a room, but a series of opportunities. 293 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,240 Should I go in through the window? 294 00:18:54,659 --> 00:18:56,035 Possibly. 295 00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:59,872 Should I drop down from the ceiling? Perhaps. 296 00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,707 - Actually, sir... - There's one thing 297 00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:04,460 I think we can be fairly confident about, 298 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,213 and that is that they didn't come up through the floor... 299 00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,381 - (GRUNTING) - I've got you, sir. 300 00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:12,426 Right. That's all right. Just come my way, Bough. 301 00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:16,472 - That'd bring me right over the hole, sir. - Bough, there's no need to panic. 302 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:18,849 (DISTANT CLATTERING) 303 00:19:20,143 --> 00:19:21,977 Can you see the bottom yet, Bough? 304 00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:25,231 BOUGH : (ECHOING) Not yet, sir. The shaft appears to be narrowing. 305 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,816 I'm just a little bit worried I might get stuck. 306 00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:31,695 Trust me, Bough. You won't get stuck if you just keep moving. 307 00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:33,572 BOUGH : Yes, sir. 308 00:19:33,865 --> 00:19:35,574 (BOUGH GRUNTING) 309 00:19:37,285 --> 00:19:38,535 Right. Okay, sir. 310 00:19:38,703 --> 00:19:40,496 Are you at the bottom now, Bough? 311 00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,790 BOUGH : No, I am in fact stuck now, sir. 312 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,336 Oh, for God's sake, Bough. Stay there! I'm coming down. 313 00:19:48,505 --> 00:19:51,423 BOUGH : Uh, I'm not especially sure that's a good idea, sir. 314 00:19:51,508 --> 00:19:52,758 Don't worry. 315 00:19:54,177 --> 00:19:55,594 BOUGH : Careful, sir! 316 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,475 Gently does it. 317 00:20:02,227 --> 00:20:04,687 - (SCREAMING) - Sir? 318 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,232 (THUDDING) 319 00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:10,442 BOUGH : You all right, sir? 320 00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,278 ENGLISH : Yes. I landed on something quite soft. 321 00:20:12,404 --> 00:20:14,655 - BOUGH : That was me, sir. - Oh, good. 322 00:20:16,741 --> 00:20:17,992 BOUGH : What now? 323 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,995 ENGLISH : There's no way back up there, that's for sure. 324 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,080 But this must lead somewhere. 325 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,292 BOUGH : I'm ever so slightly uncomfortable in the dark, sir. 326 00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:27,960 ENGLISH : There's nothing to worry about, Bough. 327 00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:31,547 It may be pitch black, but we can still see. 328 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,756 BOUGH : Can we, sir? How? 329 00:20:32,882 --> 00:20:35,843 ENGLISH : The Bedouin monks of the al-Maghrib mountains 330 00:20:35,927 --> 00:20:38,220 developed a system of sonic chanting. 331 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,556 - BOUGH : I see, sir. - The sound of their chanting 332 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,850 would bounce back off any obstacles, 333 00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,310 and using their highly tuned ears, 334 00:20:44,394 --> 00:20:47,396 they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead. 335 00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:51,066 - BOUGH : Brilliant, sir. - However, you must always sing in E-flat. 336 00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,569 (ENGLISH HUMMING) 337 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:58,574 ENGLISH : (SINGING) E-flat, E-flat, E-flat 338 00:20:59,242 --> 00:21:03,704 Thank you for the music The songs I'm singing 339 00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:05,789 - BOUGH : Is it working, sir? - Extremely well, thank you, Bough. 340 00:21:05,874 --> 00:21:08,208 Thanks for all the joy they're... 341 00:21:08,293 --> 00:21:09,918 - (THUDDING) - Ow! 342 00:21:10,253 --> 00:21:13,422 BOUGH : You all right, sir? I think I can see something, sir. 343 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,134 ENGLISH : Oh, yeah. Shh! Come on. 344 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,929 (MEN SPEAKING IN DISTINCTLY) 345 00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:38,322 MAN 1: Here's the long one. 346 00:21:38,948 --> 00:21:40,532 MAN 2: It is a long one. 347 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,326 Careful. 348 00:21:47,457 --> 00:21:49,333 - (WHISPERING) I knew it. - Shall we call for backup, sir? 349 00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:53,170 What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? 350 00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,381 I don't think so. 351 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,758 (CLANGING) 352 00:21:58,635 --> 00:22:02,596 Good morning, gentlemen. Ml7 at your service. 353 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,643 Observe, Bough, the dull incompetence of the criminal mind. 354 00:22:07,852 --> 00:22:11,021 It can never hope to match our level of technical expertise. 355 00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:32,167 (TYRES SCREECHING) 356 00:22:33,378 --> 00:22:34,711 (COUGHING) 357 00:23:00,530 --> 00:23:02,906 - You've got it. - BOUGH : What do we do now, sir? 358 00:23:03,575 --> 00:23:05,033 Watch and learn, Bough. 359 00:23:09,205 --> 00:23:12,624 - It's no good, sir. They're too far ahead of us. - Have faith, Bough. They're heading south. 360 00:23:19,924 --> 00:23:21,091 (NUNS SCREAMING) 361 00:23:22,719 --> 00:23:25,220 - There they are, sir! - Just as I thought. 362 00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:29,766 Hang on tight, Bough. 363 00:23:29,851 --> 00:23:31,310 (BOUGH EXCLAIMS) 364 00:23:40,904 --> 00:23:42,279 We're never gonna catch them in this. 365 00:23:42,739 --> 00:23:44,698 Take the wheel, Bough. I'm getting in the Aston. 366 00:23:44,782 --> 00:23:45,782 Sir? 367 00:23:46,034 --> 00:23:47,242 (HORN HONKING) 368 00:23:49,913 --> 00:23:52,498 Change places, Bough. I'm getting out the other side. 369 00:23:52,582 --> 00:23:53,582 Sir? 370 00:24:15,939 --> 00:24:17,689 Set, Bough. Take me up. 371 00:24:18,733 --> 00:24:19,858 (WHIRRING) 372 00:24:26,282 --> 00:24:27,699 Swing me out, Bough! 373 00:24:33,122 --> 00:24:34,206 Whoa! 374 00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:36,792 Down. 375 00:24:40,463 --> 00:24:41,880 (HORN HONKING) 376 00:24:42,131 --> 00:24:43,590 Up! Up! 377 00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:47,719 Sorry! 378 00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:51,265 (TYRES SCREECHING) 379 00:24:52,141 --> 00:24:53,600 Bough, pull out! 380 00:24:59,148 --> 00:25:00,357 Ow! Ow! 381 00:25:03,319 --> 00:25:06,154 Those idiots are right behind us. Faster! 382 00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:30,846 Uh-huh! 383 00:25:51,159 --> 00:25:52,200 (HORN HONKING) 384 00:25:57,707 --> 00:25:58,874 Drop me here, Bough! 385 00:26:02,170 --> 00:26:03,712 (GROANING) 386 00:26:06,382 --> 00:26:08,508 No! No! No! 387 00:26:08,593 --> 00:26:10,218 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 388 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:14,765 (ENGINE STARTS) 389 00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:21,938 (REWING) 390 00:26:49,092 --> 00:26:51,009 ENGLISH : They're turning into the Brompton Cemetery, Bough. 391 00:26:51,761 --> 00:26:54,596 Get here as soon as you can. I'm going in. 392 00:27:02,522 --> 00:27:03,980 PRIEST : In a wheelchair. 393 00:27:04,065 --> 00:27:07,067 But Geoffrey overcame these terrible disabilities 394 00:27:07,485 --> 00:27:10,779 with that simple resilience and sunny optimism 395 00:27:10,863 --> 00:27:13,281 that so warmed all of us who knew him, 396 00:27:14,283 --> 00:27:16,410 spending the rest of his life in the service 397 00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:18,995 of the poor and disabled of this parish. 398 00:27:19,789 --> 00:27:23,750 It's very good. Really very good. 399 00:27:24,460 --> 00:27:26,920 No, no, please. No, go on. I'm sorry to interrupt. 400 00:27:27,338 --> 00:27:29,381 - It's very entertaining. - Who's that? 401 00:27:29,465 --> 00:27:31,216 That priest act of yours 402 00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:33,719 should keep the other prisoners entertained for hours. 403 00:27:34,178 --> 00:27:37,222 Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? Johnny English, 404 00:27:37,306 --> 00:27:40,267 British Secret Service, and you are all under arrest. 405 00:27:40,351 --> 00:27:41,518 (WOMAN SOBBING) 406 00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:43,395 I must say, you've done this whole thing very well. 407 00:27:43,479 --> 00:27:46,273 The attention to detail is excellent. 408 00:27:46,649 --> 00:27:49,985 You, the grieving granny, you're very convincing. 409 00:27:50,653 --> 00:27:54,448 Oh, look. Real tears. Do you get paid extra for that? 410 00:27:55,533 --> 00:27:56,616 Ah! 411 00:27:57,326 --> 00:27:58,744 What we're all here for. 412 00:27:58,828 --> 00:28:01,621 I know! Why don't we take a look inside? 413 00:28:01,706 --> 00:28:02,789 (ALL GASPING) 414 00:28:02,874 --> 00:28:03,957 Oh! 415 00:28:04,041 --> 00:28:05,500 You've nailed it down! 416 00:28:06,002 --> 00:28:07,419 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 417 00:28:07,503 --> 00:28:08,879 Why would you do that? 418 00:28:09,589 --> 00:28:12,841 I know you're gonna come back in two weeks and dig it up again. 419 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:15,927 (VOCALISING) 420 00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:22,100 Now, what are you playing in this little vignette of deceit and villainy? 421 00:28:22,477 --> 00:28:23,935 I'm the hearse driver. 422 00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:31,693 - You're the hearse driver? - Yes, sir. 423 00:28:32,236 --> 00:28:34,112 Ah! A-ha! 424 00:28:35,656 --> 00:28:38,825 There you are, Gunther. 425 00:28:39,202 --> 00:28:42,537 Uh, I do hope he hasn't made a nuisance of himself. 426 00:28:43,748 --> 00:28:46,249 I'm Doctor... 427 00:28:49,170 --> 00:28:53,131 Bough, of the Lunatic Response Unit. 428 00:28:53,716 --> 00:28:57,511 I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't supposed to be released until 2028. 429 00:28:57,595 --> 00:28:59,638 - (ALL EXCLAIMING) - Isn't that right, Gunther? 430 00:29:00,890 --> 00:29:04,851 Yes, yes, there's been a most monumental cock-up. 431 00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:06,853 Um... 432 00:29:07,230 --> 00:29:11,983 If you'll excuse me, with the deepest respect, utmost sympathy. 433 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,443 Uh... 434 00:29:13,736 --> 00:29:15,570 He hasn't urinated on anyone, has he? 435 00:29:15,905 --> 00:29:17,447 - No. - No, no. 436 00:29:17,532 --> 00:29:21,868 That's a blessing. Are you gonna give me the gun, Gunther? 437 00:29:22,662 --> 00:29:23,912 (WOMAN CRYING) 438 00:29:27,917 --> 00:29:29,459 There. That wasn't too difficult, was it? 439 00:29:31,462 --> 00:29:33,421 Are you going to come home now? 440 00:29:34,298 --> 00:29:37,509 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 441 00:29:41,222 --> 00:29:44,599 Oh! In the van! Yes, yes, we are going in the van. 442 00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:46,101 Yes, yeah. 443 00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,186 - Vroom, vroom! - (MIMICKING) 444 00:29:48,271 --> 00:29:49,437 Yes. Yeah. 445 00:29:50,815 --> 00:29:52,899 (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) 446 00:29:52,984 --> 00:29:54,943 Yes. He's waving goodbye. Goodbye, everyone. 447 00:29:55,194 --> 00:29:57,320 - ALL : Goodbye. - Goodbye, Gunther. 448 00:29:57,780 --> 00:30:00,448 Mind the nice dead people. There we go. 449 00:30:02,869 --> 00:30:04,286 (EXCLAIMING) 450 00:30:05,496 --> 00:30:09,666 Oh! We'll just go to the path here. There. Big step. 451 00:30:10,293 --> 00:30:13,044 It's a graveyard. It's where they bring people when they pass... 452 00:30:13,129 --> 00:30:15,088 ENGLISH : Yes, yes, all right, Bough. You can stop now. 453 00:30:15,172 --> 00:30:17,257 BOUGH : For appearances' sake, I'll just hold your arm, sir. 454 00:30:17,341 --> 00:30:19,301 ENGLISH : Yes, yes. Just keep walking. 455 00:30:19,719 --> 00:30:21,678 In fact, run, run, run! 456 00:30:28,644 --> 00:30:31,563 SAUVAGE : I can't believe I've done this. 457 00:30:32,481 --> 00:30:36,818 I mean, I really cannot believe I've done this! 458 00:30:41,449 --> 00:30:43,992 You see, 200 years ago, 459 00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:49,539 my family should have inherited the throne of England, 460 00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:52,334 but they were cast aside. 461 00:30:53,294 --> 00:30:59,257 Well, in a few very short days, it will be back where it belongs. 462 00:31:02,303 --> 00:31:03,345 With me. 463 00:31:04,889 --> 00:31:10,477 Shall I try it on? Yes? No? Maybe? 464 00:31:10,853 --> 00:31:14,230 To make you King, we need the Archbishop of Canterbury to do that. 465 00:31:14,690 --> 00:31:17,150 The Archbishop of Canterbury 466 00:31:17,234 --> 00:31:20,862 is being taken care of even as we speak. 467 00:31:25,117 --> 00:31:27,118 (ELECTRONIC BUZZING) 468 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:37,045 There's only one thing, sir. What are we going to do about English? 469 00:31:40,049 --> 00:31:43,885 If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about English. 470 00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:47,806 He is no threat to us. I had his flat bugged. 471 00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:52,310 (KARATE YELLS) 472 00:31:53,062 --> 00:31:54,604 (MUSIC PLAYING) 473 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,364 Ow! 474 00:32:08,911 --> 00:32:10,245 (GRUNTING) 475 00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:13,415 - (YELLS) - (DUCK SQUEAKS) 476 00:32:13,791 --> 00:32:15,125 (GRUNTING) 477 00:32:15,251 --> 00:32:18,878 Clearly, the aptly named English is a fool. 478 00:32:19,255 --> 00:32:22,674 He might be a fool, but he's a fool who keeps showing up. 479 00:32:23,134 --> 00:32:25,885 Well, the next time he shows up, 480 00:32:27,054 --> 00:32:28,763 eliminate him. 481 00:32:29,807 --> 00:32:30,807 Thank you. 482 00:32:30,891 --> 00:32:33,143 BOUGH : Dieter Klein and Klaus Vendetta, sir. 483 00:32:33,269 --> 00:32:37,272 Released from prison six months ago, 327 convictions between them. 484 00:32:37,773 --> 00:32:40,358 Armed robbery, grievous bodily harm 485 00:32:40,443 --> 00:32:42,652 and combined parking fines of more than 400... 486 00:32:42,737 --> 00:32:45,572 Yes, yes, all right. Thank you, Bough. I think we get the picture. 487 00:32:46,365 --> 00:32:49,075 The point is, sir, that Vendetta and Klein 488 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,746 are both in the employ of Monsieur Sauvage. 489 00:32:53,330 --> 00:32:55,498 - Pascal Sauvage? - Precisely, sir. 490 00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:59,002 But you're not suggesting Sauvage is involved? 491 00:32:59,128 --> 00:33:01,296 I think he's more than just involved, sir. 492 00:33:01,464 --> 00:33:03,715 I'm convinced he's up to his French neck in it. 493 00:33:03,799 --> 00:33:07,135 Don't be absurd. Sauvage employs thousands of people. 494 00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:09,387 Just because two of them are villains doesn't mean that he is. 495 00:33:09,764 --> 00:33:12,891 No, I want him discounted from this investigation immediately. 496 00:33:13,851 --> 00:33:15,018 Yes, sir. 497 00:33:19,482 --> 00:33:24,069 All right. Tonight I shall be at Sauvage's reception for the new French ambassador. 498 00:33:24,153 --> 00:33:26,112 Any developments, you can reach me there. 499 00:33:26,447 --> 00:33:30,533 Apart from that, I don't want you within a hundred miles of the man. 500 00:33:31,327 --> 00:33:32,410 Absolutely, sir. 501 00:33:33,162 --> 00:33:36,748 Requisition order, Ml7 quartermasters for immediate supply. 502 00:33:36,999 --> 00:33:38,917 One military transport plane, fully fuelled, 503 00:33:39,001 --> 00:33:41,127 with permission for night-time city over-flight. 504 00:33:41,212 --> 00:33:43,546 Two night camouflage parachutes, plus reserves, 505 00:33:43,631 --> 00:33:46,382 plus neoprene bodysuits, twice, in black. 506 00:33:46,467 --> 00:33:47,801 I've never liked the navy blue. 507 00:33:48,177 --> 00:33:50,678 And a 40-inch chest for me 'cause I need the sleeve length. 508 00:33:51,722 --> 00:33:53,139 - Morning, Felch. - Morning. 509 00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:57,769 Oh, and two special forces signet rings, primed and colour-coded. 510 00:33:57,895 --> 00:34:00,271 - What's all this for, sir? - For tonight's operation, Bough. 511 00:34:00,648 --> 00:34:02,690 We're going to break into Sauvage's headquarters. 512 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,527 - But I thought Pegasus said... - You let me worry about Pegasus. 513 00:34:05,611 --> 00:34:07,112 I know that Sauvage is behind all this, 514 00:34:07,196 --> 00:34:09,072 and tonight we're gonna get the evidence to prove it. 515 00:34:10,658 --> 00:34:14,327 - Something wrong, sir? - Did that sound like Felch to you? 516 00:34:35,057 --> 00:34:36,057 (CLATTERS) 517 00:34:39,812 --> 00:34:40,979 (FIRING) 518 00:34:44,441 --> 00:34:45,608 (WHISPERING) Bough... 519 00:35:01,709 --> 00:35:03,585 You, upstairs. 520 00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:05,044 (INAUDIBLE) 521 00:35:16,098 --> 00:35:17,682 (GRUNTING) 522 00:35:18,309 --> 00:35:19,350 Ow! 523 00:35:53,802 --> 00:35:55,053 Can you see him, Bough? 524 00:35:55,971 --> 00:35:57,305 He's on the upper level, sir. 525 00:36:03,896 --> 00:36:04,979 Got him. 526 00:36:12,029 --> 00:36:16,407 And like a coiled viper, he strikes. 527 00:36:17,785 --> 00:36:18,868 (THUDDING) 528 00:36:18,953 --> 00:36:20,495 (BOUGH GROANS) 529 00:36:25,793 --> 00:36:28,169 So what you're saying, sir, is there must have been two of them? 530 00:36:28,629 --> 00:36:31,005 Oh, at least, Bough. Possibly four. 531 00:36:31,131 --> 00:36:32,382 I wonder why I didn't see them. 532 00:36:32,675 --> 00:36:34,634 You mustn't dwell on your mistakes, Bough. 533 00:36:34,718 --> 00:36:37,553 - You must learn from them, then move on. - Yes, sir. 534 00:36:40,683 --> 00:36:43,101 - So where were you, sir? - Just drop it, Bough! 535 00:36:46,146 --> 00:36:47,146 (TYRES SCREECH) 536 00:36:47,231 --> 00:36:48,439 Ah! 537 00:36:48,524 --> 00:36:51,150 - What is it, sir? - That bike. 538 00:36:52,695 --> 00:36:54,404 You get things sorted out for tonight. 539 00:37:01,829 --> 00:37:03,371 (MUSIC PLAYING) 540 00:37:03,914 --> 00:37:05,456 (INAUDIBLE) 541 00:37:10,754 --> 00:37:12,505 Well, well, we meet again. 542 00:37:13,507 --> 00:37:16,467 Mr English. What a pleasant surprise! 543 00:37:16,552 --> 00:37:18,386 I wondered when you might show up again. 544 00:37:18,762 --> 00:37:23,182 On the contrary, Miss Campbell. It is not I who keeps showing up. It's you. 545 00:37:24,685 --> 00:37:26,978 - Do you like sushi? - Hmm? 546 00:37:29,106 --> 00:37:32,817 Oh, sushi! Oh! I practically live off the stuff. 547 00:37:33,235 --> 00:37:36,612 You might say the mysteries of the Orient are no mystery to me. 548 00:37:46,582 --> 00:37:49,417 - Sake? - Ah! Sake. 549 00:37:51,253 --> 00:37:52,712 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 550 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:08,519 Now then, perhaps you can explain how it is 551 00:38:08,604 --> 00:38:11,064 that I run into you at two crime scenes 552 00:38:11,148 --> 00:38:14,609 and then can't find any record of you on a single government computer. 553 00:38:15,319 --> 00:38:16,736 Shouldn't you ask the government that? 554 00:38:18,072 --> 00:38:20,740 I am the government and I'm asking you. 555 00:38:25,913 --> 00:38:26,954 Let me. 556 00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:29,874 Hmm! 557 00:38:29,958 --> 00:38:31,292 You're brave. 558 00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:34,170 They say that sea urchin's the ultimate acquired taste. 559 00:38:34,463 --> 00:38:37,215 (SCOFFS) It's a personal favourite of mine. 560 00:38:42,346 --> 00:38:44,931 I think people are put off by how it feeds through its bottom. 561 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,851 - Would you excuse me for a moment? - Mmm. 562 00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:51,979 (GAGGING) 563 00:39:00,906 --> 00:39:02,698 (ALL SHOUTING) 564 00:39:08,956 --> 00:39:11,666 Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from Ml7. Sorry. I'm a secret agent. I am... 565 00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:33,813 - Everything set, Bough? - Just about, sir. 566 00:39:34,523 --> 00:39:37,733 Actually, sir, do you mind if I run through the plan one more time? 567 00:39:38,026 --> 00:39:40,695 - No, no. - These are the two buildings here. 568 00:39:41,113 --> 00:39:43,823 This one is our target, Sauvage's headquarters, 569 00:39:43,907 --> 00:39:45,450 right next to the City Hospital. 570 00:39:45,742 --> 00:39:48,744 I jump first and land on the south side of the roof, 571 00:39:48,829 --> 00:39:52,039 abseil down 14 floors and cut through this window here. 572 00:39:52,207 --> 00:39:56,085 ENGLISH : I then land on the east side of the roof and abseil down 12 floors. 573 00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:59,046 Where you wait for my signal that I've disabled the alarm system. 574 00:39:59,131 --> 00:40:01,799 - Yes. - You then break into this window here, 575 00:40:01,884 --> 00:40:05,136 work your way along the secure corridor and penetrate Sauvage's office. 576 00:40:05,220 --> 00:40:07,722 - Yes, yes. - Is that okay, sir? 577 00:40:07,848 --> 00:40:10,933 It's been okay ever since I thought up the idea, Bough. 578 00:40:16,106 --> 00:40:18,900 Oh, I nearly forgot, sir. Your laser beacon. 579 00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:21,944 - My what? - Your laser beacon! 580 00:40:22,029 --> 00:40:24,530 It'll guide you onto Sauvage's building. 581 00:40:24,865 --> 00:40:27,950 Your dependence on hardware really does amuse me, Bough. 582 00:40:28,494 --> 00:40:30,912 I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert 583 00:40:31,288 --> 00:40:35,082 carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons, 584 00:40:36,084 --> 00:40:39,504 and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan. 585 00:40:41,256 --> 00:40:43,674 So thank you, Bough, but no thank you. 586 00:40:47,721 --> 00:40:49,388 - (BUZZER SOUNDS) - Bough, go! 587 00:40:49,473 --> 00:40:51,682 BOUGH : Geronimo! 588 00:41:19,461 --> 00:41:20,461 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 589 00:41:20,546 --> 00:41:23,381 Fandango! 590 00:41:46,238 --> 00:41:47,321 Ugh! 591 00:41:48,282 --> 00:41:49,824 (EXCLAIMING) 592 00:41:55,914 --> 00:41:56,998 Right. 593 00:42:05,924 --> 00:42:07,466 (BUZZING) 594 00:42:13,932 --> 00:42:15,016 (BEEPS) 595 00:42:16,268 --> 00:42:17,602 Alarm's disabled, sir. 596 00:42:17,686 --> 00:42:18,853 Roger that, Bough. 597 00:42:21,565 --> 00:42:22,815 (GRUNTS) 598 00:42:22,899 --> 00:42:24,191 (GROANS) 599 00:42:57,184 --> 00:42:59,185 This is worse than I thought, Bough. 600 00:42:59,895 --> 00:43:03,522 Sauvage has got some kind of laboratory set up here. 601 00:43:04,232 --> 00:43:07,151 God knows what kind of sick operation he's running. 602 00:43:07,235 --> 00:43:08,277 (DOOR OPENS) 603 00:43:11,948 --> 00:43:13,282 (DOOR CLOSES) 604 00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:23,334 My God, what have they done to you? 605 00:43:24,461 --> 00:43:26,420 They've taken some of my blood. 606 00:43:27,756 --> 00:43:30,800 - Bastards! - It's only for tests. 607 00:43:30,884 --> 00:43:32,927 Of course it is. Come on, my friend. 608 00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:35,096 Let's get you out of here before they take anything else. 609 00:43:39,059 --> 00:43:40,351 (GROANING) 610 00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:46,107 (BOTH EXCLAIM) 611 00:43:46,191 --> 00:43:49,193 Good evening, Dr Frankenstein. 612 00:43:49,903 --> 00:43:51,445 This way, please. 613 00:43:51,530 --> 00:43:53,155 Come on, come on. I haven't got all night. 614 00:43:55,117 --> 00:43:57,785 And you, you angels of death. 615 00:43:58,036 --> 00:44:00,371 About turn. Come on, let's go. 616 00:44:00,455 --> 00:44:01,789 Come on, come on. Keep moving. 617 00:44:02,916 --> 00:44:06,460 Come on. Over there. I know what you're doing here. And you. 618 00:44:06,878 --> 00:44:10,089 Come on. Quicker. Quicker. Come on. Over there. 619 00:44:11,967 --> 00:44:13,342 Now then, 620 00:44:13,427 --> 00:44:16,554 perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster. 621 00:44:17,639 --> 00:44:21,726 - What are you talking about? - You know exactly what I'm talking about. 622 00:44:21,810 --> 00:44:25,479 Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage? 623 00:44:51,506 --> 00:44:53,048 Are you coming over here in a minute, sir? 624 00:44:56,386 --> 00:44:57,720 I'm from Ml7. 625 00:44:58,597 --> 00:45:01,390 This has been a test of your emergency response systems, 626 00:45:01,475 --> 00:45:04,351 and I have to say, you've all done extremely well. 627 00:45:04,978 --> 00:45:09,231 Right. Well, I'll leave you to it. And, get well soon. 628 00:45:15,822 --> 00:45:19,742 Oh, God! 629 00:45:38,637 --> 00:45:40,179 Sir. Sir. 630 00:45:45,227 --> 00:45:46,477 (EXHALES) 631 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,147 Did you just land on the wrong building? 632 00:45:50,232 --> 00:45:51,273 (SCOFFS) 633 00:45:51,358 --> 00:45:54,443 I did a precautionary sweep of the immediate environment. 634 00:45:55,237 --> 00:45:56,403 Right. 635 00:45:58,657 --> 00:46:00,074 - And everything was fine. - Good. 636 00:46:01,284 --> 00:46:02,576 Okay, let's go. 637 00:46:07,415 --> 00:46:10,918 I'll be downstairs at the reception... 638 00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:23,848 - That's far enough. - Well, good evening. 639 00:46:24,599 --> 00:46:26,851 - Perhaps you'd like to have this as well. - What is it? 640 00:46:26,935 --> 00:46:28,102 ENGLISH : Let me show you. 641 00:46:28,395 --> 00:46:29,562 (GRUNTS) 642 00:46:30,856 --> 00:46:32,940 Well executed, Bough, but completely redundant. 643 00:46:33,024 --> 00:46:36,026 - How do you mean, sir? - Super-strength muscle relaxant. 644 00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:39,113 When he wakes up, he'll be as floppy as a damp old sock. 645 00:46:41,283 --> 00:46:43,409 (MEN SPEAKING IN DISTINCTLY) 646 00:46:45,954 --> 00:46:47,037 (WHISPERS) What's this? 647 00:47:02,470 --> 00:47:06,140 That's the face of the Archbishop of Canterbury. 648 00:47:10,687 --> 00:47:11,854 What are they doing? 649 00:47:16,610 --> 00:47:19,486 What's this got to do with the Crown Jewels? 650 00:47:42,218 --> 00:47:43,344 Bough. 651 00:47:58,276 --> 00:47:59,401 (BEEPS) 652 00:47:59,736 --> 00:48:01,028 (WHIRRING) 653 00:48:01,529 --> 00:48:02,905 SAUVAGE : English. 654 00:48:02,989 --> 00:48:08,869 A people whose empire once covered one quarter of the surface of the earth. 655 00:48:09,454 --> 00:48:11,413 Alas, no longer. 656 00:48:12,207 --> 00:48:15,793 Now, my friends ask me, "Pascal, how can you be so interested 657 00:48:15,877 --> 00:48:18,712 "in such a backward, grotty little country?" 658 00:48:19,172 --> 00:48:22,716 My answer is simple. The Queen. 659 00:48:23,551 --> 00:48:26,887 The Queen has more power in her tiny white gloves 660 00:48:26,972 --> 00:48:30,557 than any other head of state in the entire world. 661 00:48:30,767 --> 00:48:33,102 She can declare war or make peace, 662 00:48:33,186 --> 00:48:34,770 and most intriguingly, 663 00:48:35,772 --> 00:48:40,651 she can seize any piece of land which takes her fancy. 664 00:48:41,069 --> 00:48:46,240 Of course, the Queen never uses the enormous power afforded to her. 665 00:48:47,242 --> 00:48:50,953 But imagine someone who would use that power. 666 00:48:52,122 --> 00:48:54,790 Imagine, say, me. 667 00:48:57,335 --> 00:48:59,586 How could he do that, sir? How could he make himself King? 668 00:49:00,797 --> 00:49:02,172 The Archbishop. 669 00:49:02,257 --> 00:49:03,507 (SAUVAGE CONTINUES SPEAKING) 670 00:49:03,591 --> 00:49:04,758 (DOOR OPENS) 671 00:49:12,225 --> 00:49:13,267 Ow! 672 00:49:15,603 --> 00:49:17,730 Hands up. There's a good fellow. 673 00:49:18,606 --> 00:49:21,483 Heavily armed for a late night at the office, wouldn't you say, Bough? 674 00:49:21,568 --> 00:49:25,404 You fool, English. You'll never get out of the building alive. 675 00:49:25,655 --> 00:49:27,948 I'd save your breath for my questioning. 676 00:49:28,158 --> 00:49:30,117 I'm not telling you anything. 677 00:49:30,368 --> 00:49:31,535 Incorrect. 678 00:49:32,162 --> 00:49:33,203 (CLICKS) 679 00:49:33,288 --> 00:49:34,580 Sodium pentothal. 680 00:49:35,290 --> 00:49:37,958 I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum. 681 00:49:38,168 --> 00:49:39,293 (GROANS) 682 00:49:39,377 --> 00:49:43,380 Now then, why does Sauvage want to have himself crowned? 683 00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:46,300 You have no idea what's going on here, do you? 684 00:49:46,384 --> 00:49:47,593 (CHUCKLES) 685 00:49:47,677 --> 00:49:50,137 It would be funny if it wasn't so... (MUMBLES) 686 00:49:51,139 --> 00:49:52,139 What? 687 00:49:52,307 --> 00:49:53,807 (MUMBLING GIBBERISH) 688 00:49:58,813 --> 00:50:01,190 - He's talking gibberish, sir. - Yes, I can hear that, Bough. 689 00:50:02,317 --> 00:50:03,317 (GROANS) 690 00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,569 - He's collapsed onto me, sir. - Yes, I can see that, Bough. 691 00:50:06,863 --> 00:50:09,073 You don't think you could've got the syringes mixed up, do you, sir? 692 00:50:09,157 --> 00:50:11,158 - What do you mean? - Given the guard outside the truth serum 693 00:50:11,242 --> 00:50:12,534 and given Klein the muscle relaxant? 694 00:50:14,412 --> 00:50:15,496 Ah! 695 00:50:15,580 --> 00:50:18,248 Don't be ridiculous, Bough. I think I know my right from my left. 696 00:50:19,793 --> 00:50:22,127 - Sir? - Oh, bugger it! 697 00:50:24,422 --> 00:50:26,256 Bough, take "flodd." 698 00:50:26,341 --> 00:50:27,841 Take what, sir? 699 00:50:27,926 --> 00:50:30,469 Flodd. Schlage. 700 00:50:30,553 --> 00:50:32,054 I'm not quite getting that second word, sir. 701 00:50:32,138 --> 00:50:33,639 Schlage! 702 00:50:34,182 --> 00:50:36,016 - Write it down, sir. - Schlage! 703 00:50:36,101 --> 00:50:38,727 Yes! Schlage! 704 00:50:38,812 --> 00:50:40,187 (MUTTERING) 705 00:50:40,772 --> 00:50:43,148 "C! C-A..." 706 00:50:43,358 --> 00:50:45,734 Car! Take the car! We didn't come by car, sir. We came by plane. 707 00:50:45,860 --> 00:50:47,861 (BOTH MUMBLING GIBBERISH) 708 00:50:48,238 --> 00:50:49,530 Bugger off! 709 00:50:50,198 --> 00:50:51,365 Hold it right there. 710 00:50:51,449 --> 00:50:52,574 (GROANS) 711 00:50:53,618 --> 00:50:56,245 - What's wrong with them? - They got their... I'm not telling you. 712 00:50:57,038 --> 00:50:58,122 Wrong answer. 713 00:51:00,166 --> 00:51:01,416 What is it with you two? 714 00:51:01,835 --> 00:51:02,876 Ah! 715 00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:04,711 (MUTTERING) 716 00:51:05,630 --> 00:51:06,755 Let's get out of here. 717 00:51:07,173 --> 00:51:08,674 Sorry, but who are you, exactly? 718 00:51:09,342 --> 00:51:12,052 Special Agent Campbell. I'm attached to Interpol in Paris. 719 00:51:12,387 --> 00:51:13,637 We've been watching Sauvage for months. 720 00:51:13,721 --> 00:51:15,013 (GROANS) 721 00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:16,140 Why? 722 00:51:16,224 --> 00:51:17,432 Because every major convict 723 00:51:17,517 --> 00:51:19,726 released from a Sauvage prison in the last six months 724 00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:21,687 has been employed by one of his companies. 725 00:51:22,230 --> 00:51:24,815 We believe he's recruiting them for a major criminal conspiracy. 726 00:51:24,899 --> 00:51:26,275 We just don't know what yet. 727 00:51:26,359 --> 00:51:28,152 (ENGLISH MUMBLES GIBBERISH) 728 00:51:28,945 --> 00:51:31,113 - What did he say? - (SLURRING) Pegasus! 729 00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:33,323 We have to report to Pegasus! 730 00:51:34,242 --> 00:51:35,826 Oh, no, sir. No, no, no, no. 731 00:51:35,910 --> 00:51:38,495 - How do we get out of here? - Hey, you! 732 00:51:38,997 --> 00:51:40,539 What you did to me really hurt. 733 00:51:43,001 --> 00:51:46,378 Yeah. Sorry about that. How do we get out of here without being seen? 734 00:51:47,547 --> 00:51:48,630 Okay. 735 00:51:49,007 --> 00:51:51,633 Left by the water fountain, right by the fire exit, 736 00:51:51,759 --> 00:51:52,926 then to the elevator at the end. 737 00:51:53,011 --> 00:51:54,761 - Thank you. - Oh, my God. 738 00:51:54,971 --> 00:51:56,013 (GRUNTS) 739 00:51:56,097 --> 00:51:57,514 Nice job, Bough. 740 00:51:57,599 --> 00:51:59,016 BOUGH : Left, sir. Left! 741 00:51:59,100 --> 00:52:00,267 (ENGLISH MUTTERING) 742 00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:03,770 BOUGH : Sir, you can't go to Sauvage's reception in this state. 743 00:52:03,897 --> 00:52:06,148 The effect of the drug has practically worn off, Bough. 744 00:52:06,774 --> 00:52:08,483 I'm fline. 745 00:52:08,610 --> 00:52:10,360 Schline. Uh, gline. 746 00:52:15,783 --> 00:52:17,326 (MUSIC PLAYING) 747 00:52:20,872 --> 00:52:22,122 Monsieur. 748 00:52:22,332 --> 00:52:23,790 Ah! Thank you. 749 00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:25,125 (SHATTERS) 750 00:52:27,795 --> 00:52:29,796 - Would you like another? - Please. 751 00:52:36,679 --> 00:52:37,721 Thank you. 752 00:52:42,101 --> 00:52:43,143 (GROANS) 753 00:52:43,645 --> 00:52:45,395 What in God's name? 754 00:52:45,605 --> 00:52:48,148 Ah! Foreign Sebletarary. 755 00:52:48,483 --> 00:52:49,650 Um... 756 00:52:49,984 --> 00:52:51,235 (GROANS) 757 00:52:52,028 --> 00:52:53,070 Ah! 758 00:52:53,154 --> 00:52:54,404 (LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) 759 00:52:54,489 --> 00:52:55,822 Shall we dance? 760 00:53:23,601 --> 00:53:25,060 (INAUDIBLE) 761 00:53:37,740 --> 00:53:38,991 (GROANS) 762 00:53:45,581 --> 00:53:47,040 - Excuse me, sir? - Yes, Bough? 763 00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:49,126 I'm very sorry to interrupt. I need to... 764 00:53:49,210 --> 00:53:51,378 Ah, Pascal, how nice to see you again. 765 00:53:51,546 --> 00:53:53,547 - Enjoying the party? - Splendid affair. 766 00:53:54,340 --> 00:53:58,760 I was until I was informed that your man English 767 00:53:58,845 --> 00:54:02,306 and his curious boyfriend here have spent the evening 768 00:54:02,390 --> 00:54:06,059 breaking into my office and assaulting my staff. 769 00:54:06,227 --> 00:54:08,020 Is this true, Bough? 770 00:54:08,563 --> 00:54:09,730 Well, we... We... 771 00:54:19,574 --> 00:54:21,408 What in God's name do you think you're up to? 772 00:54:21,743 --> 00:54:23,327 - Well... - Sir, if I could just offer... 773 00:54:23,411 --> 00:54:24,411 Go home, Bough! 774 00:54:25,079 --> 00:54:26,246 Now! 775 00:54:27,248 --> 00:54:29,666 I gave you direct orders not to meddle with Sauvage. 776 00:54:29,751 --> 00:54:32,711 What do you do? You break into his office and assault two of his staff. 777 00:54:32,962 --> 00:54:36,256 Then you march in here, loaded with God only knows what, 778 00:54:36,424 --> 00:54:37,966 and insult the foreign secretary. 779 00:54:38,051 --> 00:54:40,844 I haven't encountered such behaviour in Whitehall in 30 years. 780 00:54:40,928 --> 00:54:42,888 - But... - There are no "buts," English. 781 00:54:43,765 --> 00:54:47,309 You're off the case. Your security clearance is hereby cancelled. 782 00:54:47,393 --> 00:54:50,771 After a three-month leave of absence, you will return at your old grade. 783 00:54:51,064 --> 00:54:53,106 And I hope never to hear your name again. 784 00:55:18,966 --> 00:55:20,634 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 785 00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:49,371 SAUVAGE : English has seen too much. 786 00:55:49,455 --> 00:55:51,581 We go to plan B. 787 00:55:51,999 --> 00:55:57,295 Get rid of the fake Archbishop and green-light the visit to Her Majesty. 788 00:55:57,422 --> 00:56:01,174 And then this pathetic country can humiliate itself 789 00:56:01,259 --> 00:56:03,427 by crowning me officially. 790 00:56:30,788 --> 00:56:33,999 That's a letter of abdication renouncing your claims to the throne 791 00:56:34,083 --> 00:56:36,084 and the claims of your entire family. 792 00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:39,045 Sign it. 793 00:56:47,555 --> 00:56:48,680 Never. 794 00:56:51,058 --> 00:56:52,267 (YELPS) 795 00:56:52,685 --> 00:56:54,603 - (GUN COCKS) - (WHIMPERS) 796 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:00,358 (DOG BARKS) 797 00:57:00,443 --> 00:57:02,027 (RINGING) 798 00:57:04,155 --> 00:57:05,447 - Yes? - MAN : Prime Minister, 799 00:57:05,531 --> 00:57:08,325 I'm sorry to call so late, but I'm afraid the Queen has abdicated. 800 00:57:08,409 --> 00:57:09,618 What? 801 00:57:09,869 --> 00:57:14,122 Abdicated? But that's not possible. 802 00:57:14,499 --> 00:57:16,041 I only wish that were true. 803 00:57:16,626 --> 00:57:18,835 You know what, let me talk to her. Maybe she just... 804 00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,086 Pascal, she's gone. 805 00:57:21,464 --> 00:57:23,173 Now, my people have spent the last 10 hours 806 00:57:23,257 --> 00:57:25,717 trying to track down the rightful heir to the throne 807 00:57:25,801 --> 00:57:29,930 and they've come up with a name, which they've double-checked. 808 00:57:31,807 --> 00:57:33,058 Who is it? 809 00:57:33,267 --> 00:57:35,519 - It's you. - No! 810 00:57:37,396 --> 00:57:38,730 (WHISTLING) 811 00:57:41,108 --> 00:57:43,443 ANNOUNCER ON RADIO : In the wake of the return of the Crown Jewels 812 00:57:43,528 --> 00:57:45,570 to a police station in North London, 813 00:57:45,655 --> 00:57:48,406 Pascal Sauvage has requested that his coronation 814 00:57:48,491 --> 00:57:50,283 take place this Thursday. 815 00:57:50,868 --> 00:57:54,246 In the House, the prime minister said he was looking forward to the ceremony 816 00:57:54,455 --> 00:57:57,457 and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage will make a fine king 817 00:57:57,792 --> 00:57:59,042 and will bring all that is best 818 00:57:59,126 --> 00:58:01,670 about modern Europe to our ancient institution. 819 00:58:02,838 --> 00:58:04,548 (DOORBELL RINGING) 820 00:58:10,054 --> 00:58:12,138 Get your car keys. We've got work to do. 821 00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:13,890 Miss Campbell. 822 00:58:13,975 --> 00:58:16,184 Sauvage is heading back to his chateau in France. 823 00:58:16,394 --> 00:58:19,896 And he's invited 13 of the richest criminal masterminds in the world 824 00:58:19,981 --> 00:58:21,147 to meet him there. 825 00:58:21,357 --> 00:58:24,150 I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case. 826 00:58:24,485 --> 00:58:26,069 It's been reassigned. 827 00:58:26,153 --> 00:58:28,822 I know. Reassigned to me. 828 00:58:32,076 --> 00:58:35,495 - Look, I want you with me, Johnny. - Look, just leave me alone. 829 00:58:35,663 --> 00:58:36,663 What are you gonna do? 830 00:58:36,747 --> 00:58:38,999 Sit here in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself? 831 00:58:39,625 --> 00:58:42,043 Or are you gonna get out there and save your country? 832 00:58:44,171 --> 00:58:45,422 I'm gonna sit in the flat. 833 00:58:46,007 --> 00:58:49,884 - (SIGHS) Johnny, this is ridiculous. - I'm a spent force. 834 00:58:52,597 --> 00:58:54,222 Spent, my ass. 835 00:58:59,687 --> 00:59:01,062 (SOFTLY) Ow! 836 00:59:02,481 --> 00:59:04,983 Will you please stop? 837 00:59:15,786 --> 00:59:17,037 (GROANS) 838 00:59:18,039 --> 00:59:19,164 I'll just be a minute. 839 01:00:05,836 --> 01:00:08,755 It'll be nightfall in an hour. Then we can strike out for the chateau. 840 01:00:09,298 --> 01:00:12,467 The fact is, the moment Sauvage gets that crown on his head, 841 01:00:12,551 --> 01:00:15,595 he'll be able to do whatever he likes with the country that I love, 842 01:00:15,763 --> 01:00:18,390 and that is why you and I have got to stop him. 843 01:00:20,768 --> 01:00:24,062 - Relishing the thought? - Something like that. 844 01:00:26,774 --> 01:00:29,317 I suppose you've made love to lots of women, haven't you, Johnny? 845 01:00:33,239 --> 01:00:34,364 Um... 846 01:00:36,158 --> 01:00:38,952 You know, one does one's best. 847 01:00:41,122 --> 01:00:42,414 It's just... 848 01:00:43,457 --> 01:00:46,960 Well, it's been three years since my fiancé left me, 849 01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:50,922 and since then, I haven't made love to anyone. 850 01:00:52,550 --> 01:00:54,134 But then I met you, 851 01:00:55,636 --> 01:00:58,638 and I felt this hunger, 852 01:00:59,473 --> 01:01:02,976 deep down inside. I wanted to say things to you. 853 01:01:03,060 --> 01:01:05,353 I wanted to do things to you 854 01:01:05,438 --> 01:01:09,482 that I haven't wanted to do in a very, very, very long time. 855 01:01:11,110 --> 01:01:12,318 (GULPS) 856 01:01:13,988 --> 01:01:15,363 What, uh... 857 01:01:16,907 --> 01:01:19,033 What sort of things are we talking about? 858 01:01:19,660 --> 01:01:21,536 Things like punching you in the face. 859 01:01:22,037 --> 01:01:23,997 Things like kicking you in the backside 860 01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:26,374 for being such a pompous, know-nothing asshole. 861 01:01:27,168 --> 01:01:30,462 But then I started to see beyond the idiot that everybody else saw. 862 01:01:31,172 --> 01:01:33,339 I started to see the man on the inside, 863 01:01:33,924 --> 01:01:38,052 a man who was determined to do his duty, no matter what or who lay in his way. 864 01:01:38,846 --> 01:01:41,931 And I began to feel other things for him, 865 01:01:43,100 --> 01:01:46,519 to wanna do other things for him. 866 01:01:47,897 --> 01:01:49,606 Things... 867 01:01:49,690 --> 01:01:52,692 Involving plastic toys and soft cheese? 868 01:01:54,695 --> 01:01:57,739 - What? (SCOFFS) - What? What? 869 01:01:57,865 --> 01:02:00,074 (CHUCKLING) You're toying with me, aren't you? 870 01:02:00,159 --> 01:02:02,619 You're telling me to stop in the gentlest way you know how. 871 01:02:03,412 --> 01:02:04,746 No. No... 872 01:02:04,830 --> 01:02:07,040 You're such a special person, Johnny, 873 01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:09,334 not to take advantage of me while I'm vulnerable. 874 01:02:09,794 --> 01:02:14,464 - No. Well... - So thank you for being such a gentleman. 875 01:02:15,382 --> 01:02:16,716 (CHUCKLES) 876 01:02:18,260 --> 01:02:19,469 Not at all. 877 01:02:41,325 --> 01:02:43,326 I know what you're thinking, Miss Campbell. 878 01:02:43,577 --> 01:02:47,413 You're thinking, "If we don't pull this off, God knows what might happen to England." 879 01:02:47,915 --> 01:02:50,583 Actually, I was thinking there must be a better way in than that pipe. 880 01:02:52,419 --> 01:02:53,545 Well, there isn't. 881 01:02:53,629 --> 01:02:56,881 I've analysed it from every possible angle, and this is the best option. 882 01:02:57,633 --> 01:03:01,302 I'll go in first, and if there's a clear way through, I'll call down. Okay? 883 01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:04,597 Johnny. 884 01:03:05,391 --> 01:03:08,351 - Be careful. - I'm always careful. 885 01:03:08,936 --> 01:03:10,103 Oh! 886 01:03:27,037 --> 01:03:28,496 (GRUNTING) 887 01:03:39,967 --> 01:03:41,217 (GAGGING) 888 01:03:41,302 --> 01:03:42,802 (COUGHING) 889 01:03:46,015 --> 01:03:47,140 (FARTING) 890 01:03:53,981 --> 01:03:55,607 (TOILETS FLUSHING) 891 01:03:59,820 --> 01:04:01,946 - (TAPPING ON GLASS) - Gentlemen. 892 01:04:02,698 --> 01:04:07,952 In a few hours' time, I will become the next king of England. 893 01:04:26,889 --> 01:04:28,014 (WHISPERS) No. 894 01:04:43,697 --> 01:04:45,490 Ha! (COUGHING) 895 01:04:45,574 --> 01:04:47,825 - How did you get here? - Up the ladder. 896 01:04:48,827 --> 01:04:50,954 Look, pull yourself together. It's only a bit of poo. 897 01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:58,336 (EXCLAIMING) It's cold! Oh! It's cold! 898 01:04:58,462 --> 01:05:04,384 What is the one commodity the world never seems to run out of? 899 01:05:06,053 --> 01:05:08,346 Criminals, gentlemen. 900 01:05:08,430 --> 01:05:10,807 - Lawbreakers. - (ALL MURMURING) 901 01:05:10,891 --> 01:05:12,850 Every nation in the world 902 01:05:12,935 --> 01:05:17,146 struggles with the issue of overcrowded prisons. 903 01:05:17,439 --> 01:05:22,026 So, what do we do with all these villains? 904 01:05:22,403 --> 01:05:24,988 Find the solution to that problem 905 01:05:25,072 --> 01:05:30,159 and the governments of the world would pay you through their nose. 906 01:05:30,744 --> 01:05:34,580 Fortunately, I have found a solution. 907 01:05:34,915 --> 01:05:39,669 We empty every prison on the entire planet, 908 01:05:40,337 --> 01:05:45,383 we take the resulting tidal wave of human scum 909 01:05:45,718 --> 01:05:47,593 and we put it here. 910 01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:49,512 (GASPING) 911 01:05:49,596 --> 01:05:50,763 (MURMURING) 912 01:05:52,766 --> 01:05:54,809 The moment I am crowned King, 913 01:05:54,893 --> 01:05:58,229 I will turn England into the largest prison 914 01:05:58,313 --> 01:06:00,606 in the history of the world. 915 01:06:02,443 --> 01:06:07,739 210,000 square miles of prime real estate, 916 01:06:08,032 --> 01:06:14,162 conveniently separated from true civilisation by 20 miles of ocean 917 01:06:14,538 --> 01:06:16,581 - and soon to be available... - Come on. 918 01:06:16,665 --> 01:06:21,836 ...for the entire world to dump its human waste in. 919 01:06:22,129 --> 01:06:24,714 According to current projections, 920 01:06:24,798 --> 01:06:30,136 we will not run out of prison space for the next 500 years. 921 01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:35,016 So, tonight, one, and only one, of you 922 01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:41,939 will leave here owning 49% of this venture. 923 01:06:43,650 --> 01:06:48,071 So that's his little game. We must get hold of that DVD. 924 01:06:48,155 --> 01:06:49,614 But how, Johnny? There's only two of us. 925 01:06:50,824 --> 01:06:53,493 You're young, Miss Campbell, and inexperienced. 926 01:06:53,869 --> 01:06:55,703 What you seem to have forgotten is that 927 01:06:55,788 --> 01:06:57,914 (ON SPEAKER) nobody knows we are here. 928 01:06:58,457 --> 01:07:01,667 At our disposal, we have the vital element of surprise. 929 01:07:01,752 --> 01:07:02,794 (GROANS) 930 01:07:02,878 --> 01:07:05,254 Now, my plan is simple but effective. 931 01:07:05,672 --> 01:07:08,424 I shall drop from the gallery at this end of the room 932 01:07:08,509 --> 01:07:09,884 and take Sauvage prisoner. 933 01:07:10,385 --> 01:07:13,054 You will then enter from the far door, 934 01:07:13,138 --> 01:07:14,722 cutting off any means of escape. 935 01:07:15,015 --> 01:07:19,352 Then, using Sauvage as a hostage, we'll get the hell out of here. Clear? 936 01:07:27,111 --> 01:07:28,194 (GUN COCKS) 937 01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:30,863 Get 'em up, you French ponce. 938 01:07:31,698 --> 01:07:35,076 But, Mr English, I'm gobsmacked! 939 01:07:35,702 --> 01:07:37,995 What an unexpected surprise. 940 01:07:38,413 --> 01:07:41,457 Surprises are very much my speciality, Sauvage. 941 01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:44,710 I think we've seen enough of this. 942 01:07:46,839 --> 01:07:51,676 I know exactly what you're planning, and I'm here to put a stop to it. 943 01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:56,722 My bottom will be king of England before you are. 944 01:07:57,808 --> 01:07:59,308 Wrong again. 945 01:08:00,144 --> 01:08:02,895 Perhaps you'd care to look behind you. 946 01:08:03,188 --> 01:08:05,523 Oh, please. 947 01:08:05,607 --> 01:08:06,983 (GUNS COCKING) 948 01:08:09,695 --> 01:08:10,736 Lorna! 949 01:08:13,407 --> 01:08:14,574 I'm sorry, Johnny. 950 01:08:16,076 --> 01:08:21,956 Well, I'm afraid that we'll have to conclude the floor show for tonight. 951 01:08:22,166 --> 01:08:24,041 Not so fast, Sauvage. 952 01:08:24,585 --> 01:08:28,421 You may have taken me, but you'll never take England. 953 01:08:28,755 --> 01:08:31,591 Not as long as I have breath in my body 954 01:08:31,675 --> 01:08:34,010 or a bullet in my gun. 955 01:08:34,261 --> 01:08:35,344 (CLICKS) 956 01:08:43,437 --> 01:08:47,440 You know, Mr English, I'm going to miss you. Really. 957 01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:50,026 You're very entertaining. I thank you. 958 01:08:50,819 --> 01:08:51,861 Take them away. 959 01:08:56,283 --> 01:08:57,366 ANNOUNCER ON RADIO : Good morning, everybody! 960 01:08:57,451 --> 01:08:58,492 (GREETS IN FRENCH) 961 01:08:58,577 --> 01:08:59,952 And welcome to The Breakfast Show. 962 01:09:00,162 --> 01:09:01,787 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 963 01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:06,459 As the crowds are gathering here for the crowning of our first French king 964 01:09:06,543 --> 01:09:08,211 since the year 1066, 965 01:09:08,295 --> 01:09:10,504 we ask you to call us here at London FM 966 01:09:10,589 --> 01:09:13,716 with the top 10 things you most love about the French. 967 01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:16,344 We haven't had any calls yet, at all, 968 01:09:16,428 --> 01:09:18,804 but the lines are still open and I'll give you that number again. 969 01:09:18,889 --> 01:09:20,139 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 970 01:09:20,224 --> 01:09:21,224 0-2-0-7... 971 01:09:21,475 --> 01:09:23,643 (REPEATS NUMBER IN FRENCH) 972 01:09:27,231 --> 01:09:28,648 This is not good, Johnny. 973 01:09:29,483 --> 01:09:30,900 We've got to think of something. 974 01:09:32,986 --> 01:09:35,488 Wait a minute. I've got an idea. 975 01:09:36,198 --> 01:09:37,698 Hop! Hop! 976 01:09:38,325 --> 01:09:41,160 Hop! And hop! And stop! 977 01:09:41,828 --> 01:09:43,955 Now, are you familiar 978 01:09:44,039 --> 01:09:47,708 with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan delta? 979 01:09:48,126 --> 01:09:49,126 What? 980 01:09:49,378 --> 01:09:51,128 It has long been their belief 981 01:09:51,213 --> 01:09:55,591 that a whistle pitched at the precise resonant frequency of a metal lock 982 01:09:55,676 --> 01:10:00,263 will vibrate the levers in such a way that the door will simply swing open. 983 01:10:00,806 --> 01:10:01,931 Unbelievable. 984 01:10:02,182 --> 01:10:03,557 And kneel. 985 01:10:03,684 --> 01:10:05,893 (GROANING) 986 01:10:07,729 --> 01:10:09,563 Right. Here goes. 987 01:10:10,857 --> 01:10:13,025 (WHISTLES IN ASCENDING TONE) 988 01:10:14,319 --> 01:10:15,319 (SIGHS) 989 01:10:15,404 --> 01:10:17,029 (PITCH INCREASES) 990 01:10:17,698 --> 01:10:18,864 (SILENCE) 991 01:10:22,202 --> 01:10:24,870 - I can't hear anything. - I'm into ultrasonic. 992 01:10:25,122 --> 01:10:26,205 (SILENCE) 993 01:10:26,290 --> 01:10:28,457 Johnny, will you just stop all this and face facts? 994 01:10:28,542 --> 01:10:29,542 (BLOWS) 995 01:10:29,626 --> 01:10:33,087 We've failed. The only thing that can save us now is a miracle. 996 01:10:37,592 --> 01:10:39,302 (RASPING) 997 01:10:39,386 --> 01:10:40,386 (CLICKING) 998 01:10:40,470 --> 01:10:41,554 It worked! 999 01:10:41,722 --> 01:10:42,805 Oh! 1000 01:10:42,889 --> 01:10:43,931 Sir? 1001 01:10:52,774 --> 01:10:55,651 I don't know why you hauled yourself up that dreadful poo tube, Bough, 1002 01:10:55,736 --> 01:10:58,195 when there's a perfectly good ladder right beside it. 1003 01:10:59,531 --> 01:11:02,033 Now, Sauvage may have fooled the country 1004 01:11:02,117 --> 01:11:04,910 with his fake Archbishop and his secret agenda, 1005 01:11:05,162 --> 01:11:06,996 but he hasn't fooled me. 1006 01:11:08,248 --> 01:11:10,082 So, here's the plan. 1007 01:11:10,292 --> 01:11:11,334 (GASPS) 1008 01:11:11,752 --> 01:11:13,419 (BAND PLAYING) 1009 01:11:14,629 --> 01:11:16,172 (CROWD CHEERING) 1010 01:11:38,612 --> 01:11:40,321 (CHORUS SINGING) 1011 01:12:16,983 --> 01:12:18,192 (GROANS) 1012 01:12:18,985 --> 01:12:20,736 (SINGING CONTINUES) 1013 01:12:40,340 --> 01:12:41,507 (SINGING STOPS) 1014 01:12:41,591 --> 01:12:46,595 Sirs, you are hereby called to witness the anointing 1015 01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:52,518 of your one true lord and future king, Pascal. 1016 01:12:53,019 --> 01:12:57,064 Pascal, are you willing to take the oath? 1017 01:12:57,691 --> 01:12:59,024 I am willing. 1018 01:12:59,359 --> 01:13:05,865 Then be thou anointed with this holy oil. 1019 01:13:08,452 --> 01:13:14,790 And do you, the chosen bishops of England, Scotland and Wales, 1020 01:13:14,958 --> 01:13:17,460 assent to this anointing? 1021 01:13:17,544 --> 01:13:20,004 For Scotland, I do. 1022 01:13:20,088 --> 01:13:22,047 For Wales, I do. 1023 01:13:22,883 --> 01:13:25,384 For England, I do not! 1024 01:13:25,552 --> 01:13:26,969 (ALL GASPING) 1025 01:13:27,345 --> 01:13:28,429 (MURMURING) 1026 01:13:28,889 --> 01:13:29,889 English! 1027 01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:35,352 That man must not be crowned King 1028 01:13:35,437 --> 01:13:39,523 because he is a fraudster, a charlatan and a thief. 1029 01:13:39,649 --> 01:13:42,902 No, please. Let him speak. 1030 01:13:44,988 --> 01:13:48,491 It is this man, Pascal Sauvage, 1031 01:13:48,575 --> 01:13:50,075 who stole the Crown Jewels, 1032 01:13:50,160 --> 01:13:51,160 (ALL GASPING) 1033 01:13:51,244 --> 01:13:53,704 Who forced the Queen to abdicate 1034 01:13:53,872 --> 01:13:56,582 and would kill anyone who got in his way. 1035 01:13:57,125 --> 01:13:59,084 It is the end, Herr English. 1036 01:13:59,920 --> 01:14:01,003 (YELLS) 1037 01:14:01,421 --> 01:14:04,840 ENGLISH : He has cheated, conned and manipulated 1038 01:14:04,925 --> 01:14:07,134 this great country for his own ends. 1039 01:14:08,220 --> 01:14:09,470 He's fooled you all! 1040 01:14:12,015 --> 01:14:15,142 What's more, this whole ceremony is a sham 1041 01:14:15,852 --> 01:14:19,438 because that man standing in front of you 1042 01:14:19,606 --> 01:14:22,608 is not the Archbishop of Canterbury. 1043 01:14:22,734 --> 01:14:23,734 (ALL GASP) 1044 01:14:23,818 --> 01:14:24,902 (MURMURING) 1045 01:14:25,445 --> 01:14:28,948 English, a word of advice. Don't go there. 1046 01:14:29,574 --> 01:14:32,993 Shut it, Frenchy. I'll go wherever I damn well please. 1047 01:14:33,703 --> 01:14:37,122 - Now, take it off. - What? 1048 01:14:37,415 --> 01:14:40,292 Your face is made of plastic. 1049 01:14:42,462 --> 01:14:44,088 Remove it at once. 1050 01:14:44,548 --> 01:14:46,757 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1051 01:14:47,384 --> 01:14:50,302 Right. Well, I'll just have to remove it myself. 1052 01:14:50,637 --> 01:14:51,971 - Come on! - (GASPING) 1053 01:14:52,097 --> 01:14:53,430 (GRUNTING) 1054 01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:55,224 (MUTTERING) 1055 01:14:55,725 --> 01:14:57,142 - Maybe it pulls up from the front. - (GROANS) 1056 01:14:57,227 --> 01:14:58,394 (ALL EXCLAIM) 1057 01:14:58,478 --> 01:15:00,062 Come on, will you! 1058 01:15:01,523 --> 01:15:03,190 (GRUNTING) 1059 01:15:15,704 --> 01:15:16,954 - (KICKS) - (GROANING) 1060 01:15:17,247 --> 01:15:18,497 Thank you very much. 1061 01:15:20,917 --> 01:15:22,668 - Must be adjoined here somewhere. - (CHOKING) 1062 01:15:22,836 --> 01:15:26,130 Fascinating performance as always, Mr English, 1063 01:15:26,214 --> 01:15:28,507 but I'm afraid we must move on. 1064 01:15:28,842 --> 01:15:33,262 Nobody's moving anywhere until I'm finished with this piece of low-life. 1065 01:15:33,930 --> 01:15:36,140 Do you or do you not 1066 01:15:36,224 --> 01:15:39,476 have tattooed on your bottom the words, 1067 01:15:39,561 --> 01:15:42,605 "Jesus is coming. Look busy"? 1068 01:15:42,689 --> 01:15:44,189 (ALL MURMURING) 1069 01:15:44,816 --> 01:15:46,609 Are you insane? 1070 01:15:46,943 --> 01:15:48,611 Well, let's find out, shall we? 1071 01:15:49,070 --> 01:15:51,864 Go on, over. Go on, let's have a look. 1072 01:15:55,035 --> 01:15:56,535 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1073 01:15:56,661 --> 01:15:57,745 (GASPING) 1074 01:16:01,041 --> 01:16:03,000 - (LAUGH INGRAUCOUSLY) - Excellent! 1075 01:16:12,636 --> 01:16:16,680 All right, so I was wrong about the Archbishop's bottom. 1076 01:16:18,058 --> 01:16:21,268 - But there's more. - But not, I'm afraid, today. 1077 01:16:21,353 --> 01:16:23,812 Sergeant, please take this man away. 1078 01:16:24,230 --> 01:16:27,816 - But be gentle with him. - ENGLISH : Do you think that's it? 1079 01:16:28,276 --> 01:16:29,902 What, do you think I don't have more evidence? 1080 01:16:30,236 --> 01:16:33,697 My loyal subordinate is standing by with a DVD 1081 01:16:34,157 --> 01:16:37,284 which shows Sauvage's hideous plans for this country. 1082 01:16:37,369 --> 01:16:39,828 Get him out! Get him out of here! 1083 01:16:39,913 --> 01:16:43,290 - Play it, Bough! Play the disc! - Play it! Now! 1084 01:16:45,794 --> 01:16:47,544 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1085 01:16:54,219 --> 01:16:55,511 (INAUDIBLE) 1086 01:16:59,766 --> 01:17:02,935 (LIP-SYNCHING) You're so hot, teasing me 1087 01:17:03,436 --> 01:17:08,065 So you're blue But I can't take a chance on a chick like you 1088 01:17:09,776 --> 01:17:11,777 It's somethin' I couldn't do 1089 01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:16,365 Well, I could dance with you, honey If you think it's funny 1090 01:17:16,449 --> 01:17:18,033 (LAUGHING) 1091 01:17:18,243 --> 01:17:20,911 Does your mother know that you're out? 1092 01:17:21,329 --> 01:17:24,790 And I could chat with you, baby Flirt a little, maybe 1093 01:17:25,041 --> 01:17:27,543 (LIP-SYNCHING) Does your mother know that you're out? 1094 01:17:28,378 --> 01:17:30,212 - Take it easy - Take it easy 1095 01:17:30,296 --> 01:17:33,674 Better slow down, girl That's no way to go 1096 01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:35,509 Does your mother know? 1097 01:17:44,477 --> 01:17:45,853 (MEN SHOUTING) 1098 01:17:50,942 --> 01:17:52,818 (MUTTERS IN FRENCH) 1099 01:17:55,488 --> 01:17:57,156 Well, shall we? 1100 01:18:00,577 --> 01:18:01,744 (SIGHS) 1101 01:18:03,329 --> 01:18:06,915 ARCH BISHOP : Then, as Solomon was anointed King 1102 01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:11,336 by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet, 1103 01:18:11,421 --> 01:18:17,092 so be thou anointed and consecrated King 1104 01:18:18,845 --> 01:18:21,305 over all the peoples 1105 01:18:21,639 --> 01:18:23,682 whom the Lord thy God 1106 01:18:24,476 --> 01:18:26,852 hath given thee to govern. 1107 01:18:27,729 --> 01:18:32,524 And of all your possessions, wherever they may be. 1108 01:18:33,568 --> 01:18:37,029 And so, in the name of the Father 1109 01:18:37,614 --> 01:18:39,114 and of the Son 1110 01:18:39,699 --> 01:18:41,617 and of the Holy Ghost, 1111 01:18:42,535 --> 01:18:44,828 I crown you... 1112 01:18:46,456 --> 01:18:47,539 (ALL GASPING) 1113 01:18:48,541 --> 01:18:49,666 (GROANS) 1114 01:18:50,418 --> 01:18:51,585 Damn it! 1115 01:18:52,962 --> 01:18:54,880 - Give it back! - No! 1116 01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:56,965 - That is my crown! - Never! 1117 01:18:57,050 --> 01:19:00,511 - Give it back! - Never in a million years, Sauvage! 1118 01:19:00,720 --> 01:19:02,554 - Give it to me! - Bugger off. 1119 01:19:02,639 --> 01:19:04,306 (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 1120 01:19:06,935 --> 01:19:08,560 Give it back! 1121 01:19:10,980 --> 01:19:13,190 - Pascal! - Shut up! 1122 01:19:13,274 --> 01:19:14,399 (ALL GASPING) 1123 01:19:15,068 --> 01:19:18,821 All this stupid little country have to do is stand in line 1124 01:19:18,905 --> 01:19:22,950 and do what it's told for one miserable day! 1125 01:19:23,034 --> 01:19:24,910 But can it do that? 1126 01:19:25,411 --> 01:19:28,747 My fragrant French ass, it can! 1127 01:19:33,586 --> 01:19:34,670 Merde! 1128 01:19:36,381 --> 01:19:37,506 (EXCLAIMING) 1129 01:19:37,590 --> 01:19:38,590 - (FIRES) - Ah! 1130 01:19:40,844 --> 01:19:43,929 Give it! The crown! The crown! Go! 1131 01:19:44,472 --> 01:19:47,266 - Ah! - (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 1132 01:19:48,142 --> 01:19:50,853 And so, in the name of the Father 1133 01:19:50,937 --> 01:19:53,939 and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, 1134 01:19:54,607 --> 01:19:56,316 I crown you... 1135 01:20:00,113 --> 01:20:01,280 King. 1136 01:20:03,324 --> 01:20:04,366 What? 1137 01:20:30,727 --> 01:20:32,477 Arrest that man 1138 01:20:33,813 --> 01:20:35,522 and lock him away. 1139 01:20:35,648 --> 01:20:37,024 (ALL CHEERING) 1140 01:20:40,987 --> 01:20:44,907 ALL : (SINGING) God save the king! Long live the king! 1141 01:20:45,325 --> 01:20:47,326 God save the king! 1142 01:20:47,827 --> 01:20:49,161 (INAUDIBLE) 1143 01:20:51,998 --> 01:20:53,999 (CHORUS CONTINUES SINGING) 1144 01:20:56,878 --> 01:20:58,629 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1145 01:21:23,321 --> 01:21:24,988 QUEEN : Words can hardly express 1146 01:21:25,073 --> 01:21:27,783 just how much we appreciate everything you've done. 1147 01:21:28,242 --> 01:21:30,202 Nothing more than my duty, ma'am. 1148 01:21:30,745 --> 01:21:35,582 And in return, is there anything that your Queen and country can do for you? 1149 01:21:36,876 --> 01:21:38,460 Well, 1150 01:21:38,670 --> 01:21:41,213 since one is asking, ma'am... 1151 01:21:42,507 --> 01:21:45,592 ANNOUNCER ON RADIO : The headlines again. In celebration of her return to the throne, 1152 01:21:45,677 --> 01:21:48,720 the Queen has declared August 5 a national holiday 1153 01:21:48,888 --> 01:21:49,930 and in a private ceremony, 1154 01:21:50,014 --> 01:21:53,475 has conferred a knighthood on the unnamed Ml7 agent 1155 01:21:53,559 --> 01:21:57,270 responsible for foiling the plot of the French businessman Pascal Sauvage. 1156 01:21:57,814 --> 01:22:00,315 Mr Sauvage is now awaiting trial for high treason, 1157 01:22:00,400 --> 01:22:02,693 a crime which still carries the death penalty. 1158 01:22:02,819 --> 01:22:06,738 If found guilty, he's asked that his brain be donated to medical science 1159 01:22:06,823 --> 01:22:10,075 to further research into the causes of hypermanic schizophrenia. 1160 01:22:10,910 --> 01:22:13,453 Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent has left the country 1161 01:22:13,746 --> 01:22:16,915 and has already embarked on his next challenging mission. 1162 01:22:23,089 --> 01:22:25,424 LORNA : Sir Johnny English. 1163 01:22:26,426 --> 01:22:28,593 Her Majesty did seem very grateful. 1164 01:22:30,263 --> 01:22:31,596 She's not the only one. 1165 01:22:37,437 --> 01:22:38,770 (WHIRRING) 1166 01:22:40,273 --> 01:22:41,606 Mmm! 1167 01:22:42,191 --> 01:22:43,859 You are full of surprises. 1168 01:22:48,614 --> 01:22:49,865 (SCREAMING) 1169 01:22:52,368 --> 01:22:55,454 - Johnny! - Oh... 1170 01:22:56,289 --> 01:23:00,125 One eye on the shadows Protecting his fellows 1171 01:23:00,460 --> 01:23:03,045 From sunup to the moon on his back 1172 01:23:03,629 --> 01:23:07,799 Sendin' villains to Hades A hit with the ladies 1173 01:23:08,009 --> 01:23:10,844 A stallion in the sack 1174 01:23:11,971 --> 01:23:15,891 You can't get your life back when right follows left, jack 1175 01:23:15,975 --> 01:23:18,477 The more you see, the less you know 1176 01:23:19,562 --> 01:23:23,565 When others would leak it His service is secret 1177 01:23:23,649 --> 01:23:26,568 Plays God when it's your time to go 1178 01:23:26,652 --> 01:23:30,489 Hey, fellas Don't be jealous 1179 01:23:30,990 --> 01:23:34,076 When they made him, they broke the mould 1180 01:23:34,160 --> 01:23:38,163 So charismatic With an automatic 1181 01:23:38,247 --> 01:23:41,833 Never prematurely shooting his load 1182 01:23:43,669 --> 01:23:47,464 Queen and country safe and sound With villains six feet underground 1183 01:23:47,548 --> 01:23:50,383 And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace 1184 01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:55,347 Of a man for all seasons Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1185 01:23:55,973 --> 01:23:58,058 So alone 1186 01:23:59,018 --> 01:24:03,063 And you and I wouldn't have a clue Who's doin' what, why, when and who 1187 01:24:03,147 --> 01:24:04,940 Up a creek with no canoe 1188 01:24:05,024 --> 01:24:08,235 Watch out for the man for all seasons 1189 01:24:08,402 --> 01:24:11,113 Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1190 01:24:11,447 --> 01:24:14,658 So alone But safe at home 1191 01:24:14,784 --> 01:24:18,161 But safe at home But safe at home 1192 01:24:22,542 --> 01:24:26,211 Queen and country safe and sound With villains six feet underground 1193 01:24:26,295 --> 01:24:29,172 And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace 1194 01:24:29,257 --> 01:24:34,177 Of a man for all seasons Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1195 01:24:34,846 --> 01:24:36,930 So alone 1196 01:24:37,849 --> 01:24:41,810 And you and I wouldn't have a clue Who's doin' what, why, when and who 1197 01:24:41,894 --> 01:24:43,645 Up a creek with no canoe 1198 01:24:43,729 --> 01:24:46,982 Watch out for the man for all seasons 1199 01:24:47,066 --> 01:24:50,110 Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1200 01:24:50,194 --> 01:24:53,405 So alone But safe at home 1201 01:24:53,573 --> 01:24:57,242 Queen and country safe and sound With villains six feet underground 1202 01:24:57,326 --> 01:25:00,328 And no one knows 'cause no one's found any trace 1203 01:25:00,413 --> 01:25:05,083 Of a man for all seasons Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1204 01:25:05,835 --> 01:25:07,919 So alone 1205 01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:12,841 And you and I wouldn't have a clue Who's doin' what, why, when and who 1206 01:25:12,925 --> 01:25:14,676 Up a creek with no canoe 1207 01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:18,054 Watch out for the man for all seasons 1208 01:25:18,139 --> 01:25:21,016 Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone 1209 01:25:21,100 --> 01:25:27,147 So alone But safe at home 1210 01:25:27,231 --> 01:25:30,233 Oh, yeah 1211 01:25:31,305 --> 01:26:31,402 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org