1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:15,241 David, 4 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:19,996 honey, you don't have to do this today. 5 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,669 It has to be this way. 6 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,516 David, 7 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,726 it's been 20 years. 8 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,109 Baby, don't you think you owe your 9 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,488 people more than an empty office and a resignation letter? 10 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,954 I sent Jay to stay with Mom for a couple days, 11 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,914 but I think this is something we need to talk 12 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,791 about when we get back, because I love you. 13 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,252 I really do. 14 00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:10,046 But we're gonna deal with this later, okay? 15 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,925 I've got nothing left to give. 16 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,636 I won't be long. 17 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,304 I'm going to clear out my office. 18 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,617 Woo! I Mmm. 19 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,035 No, no, no, no. 20 00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:42,662 Good night. 21 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,582 You know, I'm not gonna let you have any more 22 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,709 of them sugar sodas, because there is no way. 23 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:49,502 Calm down. 24 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,797 Now, I'm gonna calm down? When we got the numbers like this. 25 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:53,881 You know what we're gonna have to do? 26 00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,675 Look, right after this, we're gonna do some jump. 27 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,343 Actually, we're gonna walk all around the property. 28 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,929 Right after this, immediately, because we need to, 29 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,390 patience is a virtue. 30 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,601 Really, Mama Hazel? 31 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,228 You're gonna tell me that patience is a virtue, 32 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,981 when you're the one who has me out here for 33 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,982 the past 20 minutes, waiting for your grandson. 34 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,151 Huh? I need to be patient? 35 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,653 Look, I know I told him what time to get here. 36 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,988 Okay, oh, speaking of devil. 37 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,492 Speaking of the devil. Your grandmama's out here just messing with-with these cards. 38 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,369 You know Mama Ruth. 39 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:27,040 I am glad that you are here. 40 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,541 You know. 41 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:29,417 Okay. 42 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,877 And you know what she did the other night? 43 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,630 Yeah, I was trying to get her, and she 44 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:35,715 mind your own business. 45 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:36,633 You know what? - Okay. 46 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,969 I went this morning to wake her up by the time time I got there, whoo! 47 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,345 It was just a blur. 48 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,555 And that's after the third time, 49 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,223 she asked me what time it was. 50 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,976 Don't be here telling my business. 51 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,187 All right, you know what? I'm, 52 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,188 I'm too done. 53 00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,149 So you know what I'm gonna do? 54 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:53,983 All right. 55 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,069 Umm, leave you all to it. 56 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:59,530 Um, I'm gonna come back when it's time to eat, 57 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:00,615 all right? 58 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,159 Man, you're great. Grandmother is something else. 59 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,456 Now, Mama Ruth, I know you not out here showing out. 60 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,173 So, how are you feeling this morning? 61 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,930 Well, today's the day. 62 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,434 I'm cleaning out my desk and turning in my resignation letter. 63 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,025 Why? 64 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,571 Because I've been standing in that pulpit for 20 years, 65 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:45,076 telling people to have faith, that God has a plan 66 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,496 that he loves and protects us. 67 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,208 But where was he when Mama needed him most? 68 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,929 It's not for us to question him. 69 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,684 You know, I believed that until I watched her waste away. 70 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,438 I can't keep doing this. 71 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:18,609 I can't keep pretending to have faith when I don't even know if God exists. 72 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,198 I feel like such a fraud. 73 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,456 Mama Ruth I'm lost. 74 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,959 Completely lost. 75 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,176 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. 76 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:48,181 Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 77 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:54,896 The problem is, I don't know if I accept it. 78 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,111 I need to get to the office and get this over with. 79 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,044 To the congregation of True Vine Missionary Baptist Church. 80 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:27,423 Yes, Cheryl, I know it's last minute, but I got that wedding. 81 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,716 Yeah. 82 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,426 Child, I can't be looking like this. 83 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:35,223 No, no, just a little trim, nothing too dramatic. 84 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:40,019 Well, actually, I could use a little punch up in the color. 85 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,021 These grays are winning the battle. 86 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,900 Tomorrow, can you fit me in around 3? 87 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,985 Oh, oh, won't he do it. 88 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:48,903 Thank you. 89 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,112 You are a lifesaver. 90 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,073 I'll tell you what, I will bring you some of those lemon squares, 91 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,450 that you love so much. 92 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,702 I know that's right. 93 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,925 I am worried about him. 94 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:15,179 Yes, 20 years our pastor, and now this sudden resignation? 95 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,140 I know, I know. 96 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,768 Ever since his mother passed away, mm-hmm, 97 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,728 but you know what? 98 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:24,230 Something more is going on with him. 99 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,524 Mm-hmm. - He's not talking to anybody. 100 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,859 No, not even his wife, from what I hear. 101 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,987 Uh-huh. 102 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,408 He been packing up all week, like, he can't wait to get out of here. 103 00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:38,953 No, the board meeting is not till Monday. 104 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:43,624 Oh, and then, Sister Brenda want to call me talking about pastor seems. 105 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,668 I said, "Uh-uh, stop it right there." 106 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,378 I'm over here minding my own salvation. 107 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,796 I need you to do the same. 108 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:49,672 Mm-hmm. 109 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,339 Yeah, I sho did. 110 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,133 You know I don't play about pastor. 111 00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,260 No, they do not know yet. 112 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,679 I I don't know. 113 00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,431 Just me and his wife, I guess. 114 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,393 I know, I know, but it's just... 115 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,396 It breaks my heart. 116 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,648 I mean, this church is his family, too. 117 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,944 Girl, let me go ahead and get out here and lock up. 118 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,070 Yeah, I know. 119 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,196 I hear this storm. 120 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,197 I'm trying to get home before it hits. 121 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,824 My edges are flipping out. 122 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,160 Okay, all right, I'll see you tomorrow. 123 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,536 Thank you. 124 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,454 Bye. 125 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,432 Pastor? 126 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,395 Pastor Reynolds, 127 00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,938 I-I'm getting ready to head out. 128 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,691 Is there anything else I can get for you before I lock up? 129 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,860 Uh, no. 130 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,278 No, um. 131 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,446 No, but thank you. 132 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,364 I'm just finishing up. 133 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,205 Are you sure this is the right thing to do? 134 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,584 Um... 135 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,172 My mind's made up. 136 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,676 Twenty years, David. 137 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,386 Twenty years. 138 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,180 That's all a lot of lives touched, 139 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,557 including mine. 140 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,687 I appreciate you more than you know. 141 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:35,695 For what it's worth, I still pray for your mother. 142 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,198 I know she is so proud of you. 143 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,703 Goodnight, Angela. 144 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:47,748 Well, uh... that storm is coming in. 145 00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,292 Pretty strong. 146 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,335 You' sure you don't want to come back? 147 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,211 Maybe tomorrow? 148 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:52,878 I I can get... 149 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:57,091 No, I'm just gonna wrap this up now, but you can lock up on your way out. 150 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,843 I have my keys. 151 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,178 Be safe, pastor. 152 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,850 Good night. 153 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:07,893 Good night, Angela. 154 00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:48,429 Oh. Where is my phone? 155 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:56,478 Left it in the car. 156 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,918 Excuse me, but the church is closed. 157 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,174 Excuse me! 158 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,093 Whoa. Whoa. 159 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,428 Don't. You come... 160 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,512 Don't you come in you're closer. 161 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:31,597 Whoa... whoa... whoa. 162 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:32,723 Don't you come in you're closer. 163 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,352 - Calm down. - You're not supposed to be here. 164 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:37,811 I'm Pastor Reynolds. 165 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,420 Why don't you put that gun down so we can talk? 166 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,523 Oh, there's nothing to talk about. 167 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,067 What is that? 168 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,110 A shrine? - Ah! Ah... 169 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,154 No, no, no! 170 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,114 How dare you? 171 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,033 How dare you? 172 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,493 How dare you pretend to? 173 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,078 Care... care. 174 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,246 Look. Let me help you. 175 00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,498 Help me! 176 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:58,373 Where were you, 177 00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,958 when I needed your help? 178 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,227 Where! 179 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,175 Listen, calm down. 180 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,220 Whatever you're thinking about doing, look, don't. 181 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,180 Let's talk. 182 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,891 There's nothing to talk about this. 183 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,018 I didn't come here for conversation. 184 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,979 I came here for silence. 185 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,563 Absolute silence. 186 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,356 Turn around! 187 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:23,148 Turn around! 188 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,024 Turn around! 189 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:24,983 Turn on. 190 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,026 Okay, okay. - Turn around! 191 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,444 Okay, okay... - Take it easy. 192 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,737 Okay. 193 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:29,613 Take it easy. 194 00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,115 Take it easy. 195 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,325 All right, all right, all right. 196 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,410 Look, you do not have to do this. 197 00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,620 Look, just tell me what you need. 198 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,081 I need you to stop talking, into the office. 199 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,457 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. 200 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,249 Go! Go! Go! Go! No! Go! 201 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,377 Move, move, move, move! - Okay. 202 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,169 Move! Move! I'm not playing with you, Pastor. 203 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,713 Okay, okay, okay. 204 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,424 All right. 205 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,389 Now, where's your cell phone? 206 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,640 I left it in my car. 207 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,100 I did not want to be disturbed. 208 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,145 I hope you're not lying to me, Pastor. 209 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,022 Look, why would I do that? 210 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,023 I am not lying. 211 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,028 Look, if you don't believe me, you can search me. 212 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,286 Pastor, Pastor, sit. 213 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:23,167 Sit down and put your hands down! 214 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,758 What? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, a resignation letter, Pastor? 215 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,844 Oh. You're quitting. 216 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,515 While the rest of us are stuck. 217 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:44,063 Stuck here, trying to make some... trying to make some sense of as hell. 218 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,234 Hey, hey, what's your name? 219 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,613 It doesn't matter. 220 00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,948 Hey, look, it matters to me. 221 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,950 You came here 222 00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:01,455 and set letters on the pulpit like a shrine. 223 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,500 Hey. 224 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,752 Hey, hey, hey. 225 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,712 That's you in that photo, isn't it? 226 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:12,716 It doesn't make a difference. Who it is you'll find out. 227 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:16,094 You'll find out, you'll find out when you... 228 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,221 it comes to you, Pastor. 229 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,683 Hey, look, at least tell me if you are a member here or not. 230 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,397 I was. 231 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,066 I was. 232 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,108 Then why won't you tell me your name? 233 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,151 It doesn't matter! 234 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,696 You'll find out when it is time. 235 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,700 I see you wearing your wedding ring. 236 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,913 Yes. 237 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,957 Yes, yes, I am. 238 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:49,044 Because it's all that I have left! 239 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,507 And that-that, that-that... haunting silence. 240 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,552 And no answers. 241 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,017 And the rest of the world, the rest of the world, the rest of the world 242 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,604 just going by like they... 243 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,813 never even, 244 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,439 existed. 245 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,649 Listen, listen. 246 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,026 Is the they you're talking about your family? 247 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,153 Pastor. 248 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,162 Hey, our plights aren't too different. 249 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:28,458 I came here tonight to say goodbye to this place as well. 250 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,422 Not because I stop believing in God, but because I stop believing he hears me. 251 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,014 How dare you?! 252 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:46,435 Plights! You don't know my life! 253 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,438 And my life is not like your life! 254 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,985 Can I please go to the restroom? It's just through there. 255 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:08,999 I hope... that you're not trying to... 256 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,960 I hope. You're not trying to trick me, Pastor. 257 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:12,669 I won't. 258 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:13,795 Hey, this is not a trick. 259 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,381 I've been here for hours. 260 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:21,136 Just finished my fourth cup of coffee, so it's just running right through me. 261 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,353 Go ahead. 262 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,814 Okay. 263 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:37,861 All right. 264 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,325 Pastor, I don't hear any water, going on in there. 265 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,203 I don't hear anything going on in there, Pastor, what are you doing? 266 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,339 Do you know what the worst part of it is? 267 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:00,926 No, tell me. 268 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,930 It's everyone saying that God, 269 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,766 works in mysterious ways. 270 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,728 Oh... 271 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:15,482 You ever tell anybody that, Pastor? 272 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:19,486 That God works in mysterious ways? 273 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:23,448 Yes, I have. 274 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,202 Did you believe it when you said it? 275 00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:33,667 I did when I said it. 276 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,669 But now. 277 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,671 I don't know what I believe in. 278 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,466 Ooh, well. 279 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,428 At least you are honest. 280 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,225 What the. 281 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,476 The power just went out. 282 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,353 That happens whenever we get a storm. 283 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:57,441 Okay, come on, come on, come on. 284 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:58,191 Move. 285 00:21:58,358 --> 00:21:59,484 Don't try anything. 286 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:00,694 Come on, come on. 287 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:01,987 Hands, keep them up high, Pastor. 288 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:02,654 Okay. - Keep 'em up high. 289 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:03,405 Okay. - Keep 'em up, high. 290 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,115 Okay. - Keep 'em up. 291 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,617 Now sit back down, Pastor. 292 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:09,619 Okay, I get it. 293 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:10,704 You're scared. 294 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,748 I'm not scared. 295 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:13,873 I'm. 296 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,500 I'm. I'm done! 297 00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:18,420 Good. 298 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,422 The generator kicked back in. 299 00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:23,925 But if the lights go out again, it will reduce the power to 50%. 300 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,677 Ah, 301 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,597 nothing is going as planned. 302 00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:32,267 I came here to give, 303 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,519 you a message! 304 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:37,606 And and none of this. 305 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,776 None of this this, none of it! 306 00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,278 Is gonna change. 307 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,280 My mind. 308 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:50,285 Hey, your pain, your pain, I can't imagine it. 309 00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:52,245 But this isn't the way! 310 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,962 Now, the next one won't miss. 311 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,467 Stay. Sitting. Down. 312 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,178 Pastor. 313 00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:12,099 This will be over soon. 314 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:13,433 What does that mean? 315 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,810 Oh. You'll find out. 316 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,648 Whatever you're going through, it can't be that bad. 317 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,608 Right. 318 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,068 Right! Right, right! 319 00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:23,777 You're right! 320 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:25,403 Like! 321 00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:30,742 God has a plan. 322 00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,953 Hallelujah! 323 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,665 They're all in heaven. 324 00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:37,916 Praise the Lord! 325 00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:38,792 God is good! 326 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,251 All the time! 327 00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,254 God is good! 328 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:46,925 Oh. Pastor. 329 00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:52,472 My 12-year-old granddaughter. 330 00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,725 She had a whole life ahead of her. 331 00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:59,813 What kind of plan takes that all away? 332 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,039 Huh? 333 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,275 So something did happen to your family. 334 00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:06,903 Pastor. 335 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:09,698 Pastor, please. 336 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,246 Oh. 337 00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,039 Oh! 338 00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,542 Oh! 339 00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:22,919 The pastor drinks. 340 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,134 The pastor is human. 341 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,969 It isn't mine. 342 00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,304 It's from a guy I refuse counsel. 343 00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:34,014 He left it here. 344 00:24:34,514 --> 00:24:36,183 Vowing to never drink again. 345 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,441 To the God that isn't real. 346 00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:54,159 Mmmmh. Ooh, ooh. 347 00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,077 Umm. 348 00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:01,082 Nah uh. 349 00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:03,309 Drink. 350 00:25:04,419 --> 00:25:05,462 Man of God. 351 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,881 Now, what is that gonna prove? 352 00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:09,257 Hmm? 353 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,885 Maybe just that misery loves company. 354 00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:16,640 Drink! 355 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:30,195 Now you take a drink... 356 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,448 or I will shoot you. 357 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:46,670 Now, does that make you feel better? 358 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:51,174 Do you think that is gonna keep me out of heaven? 359 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:57,013 I just wanted to see, see, see, see, you've your hypocrisy. 360 00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,349 I am done. 361 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:00,892 I am through with this conversation! 362 00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,977 Oh. 363 00:26:03,019 --> 00:26:04,562 Now, 364 00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:06,356 Pastor... 365 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:12,904 Isn't it your duty to do whatever you have to, 366 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,948 to save my life? 367 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,200 How am I supposed to do that? 368 00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,537 I want you. 369 00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:22,205 To look... 370 00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:26,251 inside that box and pull out that-that, 371 00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:30,422 that Bible that you have buried there, and I want, 372 00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:33,758 you to give me some divine message... 373 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,219 about how God! 374 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:39,264 Is gonna take my pain away! 375 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,101 Go ahead! 376 00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:51,026 Give me thee word! 377 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:52,944 You have all the answers. 378 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:53,945 Why don't you tell me? 379 00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:59,451 Ooh, Pastor, why do you have to be so cynical? 380 00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,668 You wearing that collar. 381 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:13,048 And as long as you are wearing, 382 00:27:13,256 --> 00:27:14,591 that collar, 383 00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:19,471 you're supposed to take care of your sheep. 384 00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:24,100 Find me a word! 385 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,148 That didn't sound good. 386 00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:33,860 Oh, oh! Don't, don't, don't, don't you try it. 387 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,404 I'm not. 388 00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:38,531 But I do need to go see what happened. 389 00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:41,618 Fine. 390 00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:44,954 Come on. 391 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,959 Come on, Pastor, and I am... 392 00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:53,171 Move the chair. 393 00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,673 Mm hmm. 394 00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:58,802 Go ahead, and I'm right behind you. 395 00:28:04,724 --> 00:28:06,976 Yeah, that's, that's, that's a good one. 396 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,978 I hope you don't use that on me tomorrow. 397 00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,480 Be... 398 00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,315 quiet. 399 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,233 Woo! 400 00:28:13,733 --> 00:28:16,111 It's raining cats and dogs outside. 401 00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,779 Oh, finally, I was starting to believe, 402 00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:18,905 that no one was coming. 403 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,241 Marcus, you still here? 404 00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:23,701 Yeah, you know wanna, 405 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,286 have her here by herself. 406 00:28:25,495 --> 00:28:26,287 Where's David? 407 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:30,458 Uh, I haven't seen him since this morning. 408 00:28:30,875 --> 00:28:33,711 Oh, Marcus, thank you for staying with her. 409 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:34,478 Of course, baby. 410 00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:35,713 You are so good to us, 411 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:37,340 but I got her from here. 412 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,591 Okay. Thanks. 413 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:39,884 You want something to eat before you leave? 414 00:28:39,926 --> 00:28:41,219 No, no, no, no, I'm fine. 415 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,472 I will see you bright and early, 416 00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:45,139 Mrs. Hazel. 417 00:28:45,181 --> 00:28:45,781 All right. 418 00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:49,602 Have a good night, Marcus, all right? 419 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,981 Did you have a good day? - Okay. 420 00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:54,983 I'mma call David, okay? 421 00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:10,248 David. 422 00:29:10,957 --> 00:29:12,208 I've been calling you all day. 423 00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:13,877 Can you please call me back? 424 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:16,379 It's not like you not to answer my calls. 425 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,131 You're going straight to voicemail. 426 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,799 Call me back. 427 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:21,176 I'm kind of worried. 428 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:27,974 He's not answering. 429 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:28,933 Umm, ah. 430 00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:30,268 Are you ready to eat? 431 00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:31,311 Let's eat. 432 00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,646 Oh, come on. 433 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:34,522 Let's eat. 434 00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,908 I just need to see what's going on with the church. 435 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,869 Okay, but I told you. 436 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:49,203 Take it easy. 437 00:29:49,245 --> 00:29:50,079 Nothing funny, Pastor. 438 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,139 That doesn't look good. 439 00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:10,683 But it's fitting, though. 440 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,187 That water's gonna warp the floor if we don't do something. 441 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,648 We? 442 00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:18,942 I'm holding you hostage, remember? 443 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,194 I haven't forgotten. 444 00:30:22,987 --> 00:30:25,406 I have some buckets and the tarp in the storage closet. 445 00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:27,408 I'm just going to get them. 446 00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:29,619 Fine. 447 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:32,413 Fine, but don't do anything tricky, Pastor. 448 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:37,460 Don't try to be slick, or you will get an express ticket to the afterlife. 449 00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:39,420 Let's go. 450 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,680 Can you carry this? 451 00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:34,559 Can I get that tarp? 452 00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:03,171 Could you give me a hand with this tarp, please? 453 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,279 You do look familiar. 454 00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:31,616 You said earlier that. 455 00:32:33,284 --> 00:32:34,869 You attended church here. 456 00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,455 Yes. 8:30 service. 457 00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:39,958 Ah. The 8:30 ghosts. 458 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,962 That's what Angela called the early service members. 459 00:32:45,713 --> 00:32:48,966 We always sat in the back, and we left. 460 00:32:49,008 --> 00:32:52,929 During the final hymn, so that we could beat the traffic. 461 00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:55,932 Mitchell? 462 00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:58,935 Sarah Mitchell, I remember now. 463 00:33:01,062 --> 00:33:05,149 Your husband was on the men's retreat planning committee. 464 00:33:05,733 --> 00:33:06,333 Yup. 465 00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:07,110 Uh huh. 466 00:33:07,568 --> 00:33:09,445 He organized the fishing tournament. 467 00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:15,284 And you taught Sunday school, if I remember correctly. 468 00:33:15,993 --> 00:33:17,620 Third and fourth grade. 469 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:21,499 For six years. 470 00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,168 You were more than just casual attendees. 471 00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:25,586 Mm. 472 00:33:25,753 --> 00:33:26,629 Ah. 473 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:28,022 I... 474 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,882 I grew up in the church. 475 00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:33,428 Sunday school, youth group. 476 00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:36,931 Bible camp every summer. 477 00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:39,434 Now, I was that girl, 478 00:33:40,476 --> 00:33:45,189 that memorized all 66 books of the Bible. 479 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:47,692 I can see that. 480 00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:52,447 I went to Bible College, majored in Christian education. 481 00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:54,699 I was planning to be a... 482 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:56,951 a missionary before I met Mark. 483 00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:03,207 Where did you guys meet? 484 00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:06,461 Uh, in a... 485 00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:13,968 mission trip in Guatemala. 486 00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:20,433 We were helping build homes for the... 487 00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,813 hurricane victims. 488 00:34:28,983 --> 00:34:30,318 Now, Mark. 489 00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,572 He knew the Bible better than I did. 490 00:34:37,742 --> 00:34:39,702 And he could make me laugh. 491 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:44,457 And I'm not talking about that fake laugh. 492 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:49,629 I'm talking about that-that deep bellowing 493 00:34:50,546 --> 00:34:53,257 that. That. That laughter from the soul. 494 00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:55,802 It's like, ah ha-ha you know? 495 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,387 Oh, my goodness. 496 00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,932 You guys were the perfect church family. 497 00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:05,728 We tried to be. church every Sunday. 498 00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:08,940 We paid our ties. 499 00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:14,695 We did devotions, every night and look where it got us. 500 00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:17,615 The accident. 501 00:35:19,492 --> 00:35:22,453 I I got a call from Jonathan Moore, 502 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:27,249 who was head of the ER, the clergy ER that night. 503 00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:29,210 I remember. 504 00:35:29,252 --> 00:35:30,753 You were there? 505 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:31,562 Yes. 506 00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:33,548 You were still in shock. 507 00:35:34,465 --> 00:35:36,425 I don't expect for you to remember. 508 00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:39,971 I. I. 509 00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:46,853 I remember that... you held me when they told me. 510 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,022 I did. 511 00:35:50,314 --> 00:35:52,692 That they were gone, 512 00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:55,486 calling their names over and over and over. 513 00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:02,952 Emily, Jason, Lilly and Mark. 514 00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:08,165 Emily loved taking photos. 515 00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:10,751 Jason loved dinosaurs, 516 00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:14,630 and Lily, just lost her first tooth. 517 00:36:22,221 --> 00:36:24,181 The drunk driver... 518 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:28,644 I met with him. 519 00:36:29,562 --> 00:36:31,522 A damaged and broken man. 520 00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:34,066 I went to meet with him, 521 00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:37,027 and I. I. I couldn't speak, and I looked at him, and 522 00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:39,113 he looked like a monster. 523 00:36:39,989 --> 00:36:41,949 He looked like the devil. 524 00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:43,826 And I... 525 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,495 I. I just ran out 526 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:50,708 of the room as fast as I could. 527 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,795 He came to me for counsel. 528 00:36:54,921 --> 00:36:56,255 What? 529 00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:57,381 About a week ago. 530 00:36:57,965 --> 00:37:01,636 He came by, wanting to talk about what he had done, 531 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:04,472 how alcohol was anchor around his neck. 532 00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:06,515 And? 533 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,851 I turned him away. 534 00:37:08,976 --> 00:37:11,937 I wasn't in any condition to counsel, anyone. 535 00:37:11,979 --> 00:37:15,441 So. I just referred him to a clergy friend of mine. 536 00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,028 Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go. 537 00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:20,821 Come on, Pastor, let's go, let's go, let's go. 538 00:37:20,863 --> 00:37:22,031 We got to go back to the office. 539 00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:23,032 Let's go, Pastor. 540 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:24,659 Let's go back to the office. 541 00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:25,868 Come on. 542 00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:27,453 Let's go. Let's go. 543 00:37:27,536 --> 00:37:28,204 Okay. 544 00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:28,846 Come on. 545 00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:39,924 You still haven't told me, why. 546 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:45,429 Why what? 547 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,601 Why a loving God, would let my family die? 548 00:38:00,736 --> 00:38:01,779 I can't. 549 00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:03,280 Try. 550 00:38:04,740 --> 00:38:06,701 I want to hear the speech. 551 00:38:07,576 --> 00:38:10,746 I want to hear what you have been, 552 00:38:10,913 --> 00:38:14,083 telling grieving widows and parents 553 00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:16,961 that have lost, their loved ones. 554 00:38:18,295 --> 00:38:22,216 The speech that you don't believe. 555 00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:27,221 Oh, how about my favorite? 556 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,309 Joy comes in the morning. 557 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:37,690 Or God works everything's out for good. 558 00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:45,364 God never gives us more than we can handle. 559 00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:46,490 Oh! 560 00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:48,200 Sarah, calm down. 561 00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:51,912 Oh, oh, oh, oh, your family in heaven. 562 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,957 Oh, oh, ooh. 563 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:59,712 There is, there is, there is power. 564 00:38:59,962 --> 00:39:01,922 There is a message in this pain. 565 00:39:02,631 --> 00:39:08,971 That this... there is a test that will strengthen your faith. 566 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,726 How. How dare you? 567 00:39:14,226 --> 00:39:15,728 These are lies. 568 00:39:15,853 --> 00:39:17,605 They're lies, they're all lies! 569 00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:21,567 My family, my family, they're laying in the ground rottening. 570 00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:24,987 They're all dead. 571 00:39:27,656 --> 00:39:28,991 The house. 572 00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:33,204 The house is empty and their clothes. 573 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:36,957 Their clothes, their clothes... 574 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,668 still smell like them. 575 00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:42,421 How can you tell me? 576 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:48,177 There is a lesson, there is a message, 577 00:39:48,469 --> 00:39:51,097 there is something in the pain. 578 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,182 You're right. 579 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,185 It's all just words. 580 00:39:57,478 --> 00:40:00,940 Desperate attempts to make sense out of a senseless world. 581 00:40:02,691 --> 00:40:04,735 Hey, this won't bring them back. 582 00:40:05,986 --> 00:40:07,905 I don't want to take it. 583 00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:09,406 I don't want to stay here. 584 00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,367 I want to go. 585 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,202 I want to go where they are. 586 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,205 And what if there's nothing? 587 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:21,127 What if this life is all we get? 588 00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:26,465 I spent years telling people about heaven. 589 00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:29,927 And now. 590 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:33,431 I just don't know. 591 00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:37,935 But I do know that ending your life, 592 00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,647 dishonest their memory. 593 00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:00,332 Oooh! 594 00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:08,174 I can't breathe... 595 00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:28,986 Don't let me die! 596 00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,154 Don't let me die! 597 00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:41,165 It was an accident. - Wooo! 598 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:44,459 It was an accident. I shouldn't have grabbed for the gun, 599 00:41:44,501 --> 00:41:45,101 No... no... no... 600 00:41:45,106 --> 00:41:46,920 But we do need to get downstairs to get that first aid kit. 601 00:41:46,962 --> 00:41:48,297 Where's... Where's your first aid kit? 602 00:42:01,727 --> 00:42:02,853 Come on, come on. 603 00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:03,896 Come on. 604 00:42:04,104 --> 00:42:05,272 Come on, take it easy. 605 00:42:05,314 --> 00:42:06,231 Easy. 606 00:42:06,273 --> 00:42:08,108 Go. Look, come on, come on. 607 00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,945 All right, can you do it? You good? 608 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:11,904 All right. 609 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,614 Oh, no, oh! 610 00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,115 You okay? 611 00:42:15,199 --> 00:42:16,033 I'm all right. 612 00:42:24,458 --> 00:42:25,709 Oh. 613 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,261 Here we got it. - You got it? 614 00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:36,937 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 615 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,430 Whoa! - Yes. 616 00:42:38,472 --> 00:42:39,181 Yeah. 617 00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:41,684 Here. Let's move everything back. 618 00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:43,769 All right, okay. 619 00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:45,771 There'll be some antiseptic wipes in there. 620 00:42:45,813 --> 00:42:46,855 Okay. 621 00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:47,773 All right. 622 00:42:48,524 --> 00:42:50,693 You're gonna have to cut this shirt and some scissors in there. 623 00:42:50,859 --> 00:42:55,197 Okay, got the scissors. And the antiseptic wipes. 624 00:42:55,489 --> 00:42:56,406 All right. 625 00:42:56,448 --> 00:42:57,700 Okay. 626 00:42:57,825 --> 00:42:58,592 Here we go, here we go. 627 00:42:58,701 --> 00:42:59,409 You know what? 628 00:42:59,451 --> 00:43:00,618 Let me come around next. That side. 629 00:43:03,747 --> 00:43:04,790 All right. 630 00:43:05,082 --> 00:43:06,333 Okay, sweetie. 631 00:43:06,959 --> 00:43:07,834 All right. 632 00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:08,877 Here we go. 633 00:43:10,045 --> 00:43:10,645 Yeah. 634 00:43:12,381 --> 00:43:13,382 A little bit. - Let me get there. 635 00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,024 Okay, okay. 636 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:15,134 Just let me get there. 637 00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:15,968 All right. 638 00:43:16,051 --> 00:43:16,927 All right. Whoo. 639 00:43:17,344 --> 00:43:18,095 All right, baby. 640 00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,179 You see it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 641 00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:20,280 Ah. Okay. 642 00:43:20,347 --> 00:43:21,432 Just let me check it out. 643 00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:23,058 Ah, ah! 644 00:43:23,517 --> 00:43:24,143 I am so sorry. 645 00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:25,436 Ah, ah! - Oh. Oh, my goodness. 646 00:43:25,644 --> 00:43:26,353 You see that? 647 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:27,563 Okay, oh, oh, here we go. 648 00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:28,814 Ah, ah! - Here we go. 649 00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:29,982 Ah, ah! - All right. 650 00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:30,732 Okay. 651 00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:31,441 Ooh. 652 00:43:31,483 --> 00:43:32,985 Woo. Um. 653 00:43:33,110 --> 00:43:35,487 The bullet didn't penetrate. 654 00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:37,864 All right. 655 00:43:37,906 --> 00:43:38,782 I'm so sorry. 656 00:43:39,074 --> 00:43:40,575 I'm sorry. 657 00:43:40,617 --> 00:43:41,243 I'm so sorry. 658 00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,412 Ooh, I know it's gonna burn. 659 00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:45,080 Ah, ah! - Oh, I'm sorry. 660 00:43:45,331 --> 00:43:46,498 Wooo. I ooh. 661 00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:47,666 I'm sorry. 662 00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:48,834 Okay. 663 00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:51,503 Now, you're gonna need some stitches, but I can't do that. 664 00:43:51,628 --> 00:43:52,379 You know what? 665 00:43:52,421 --> 00:43:54,172 Butterfly bandages will work. But we'll get to that... 666 00:43:54,214 --> 00:43:55,924 Ooh! Ah. 667 00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:56,566 Okay... 668 00:43:56,759 --> 00:43:57,676 Yeah, just wrap it up. Just wrap it up. 669 00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,635 Okay. Okay. Okay. 670 00:43:59,386 --> 00:44:01,263 Just wrap it up. Just wrap it up. 671 00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:07,353 Okay, let me. 672 00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,355 Okay, just hold it over here a little bit, please. 673 00:44:09,563 --> 00:44:10,522 Ah. I'm I know, my. 674 00:44:10,564 --> 00:44:11,774 I know. I know. I know. 675 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,026 There we go. 676 00:44:14,568 --> 00:44:15,361 Oh. 677 00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:16,987 Okay, how's that? 678 00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:17,988 Is that anything better? 679 00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:19,448 There we go. 680 00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:21,241 Whoo. 681 00:44:21,450 --> 00:44:23,494 Oh, my goodness you know what? Um, 682 00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,414 when my kids would get hurt, I would be the calm one, 683 00:44:27,539 --> 00:44:30,709 you know, and my my husband, Mark, he would be the one. 684 00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:34,713 He would be so upset, and I I could handle everything and here I am. 685 00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,715 I can't even 686 00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:37,591 take care of you. 687 00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:38,633 You're bleeding. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 688 00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:39,635 I'm so sorry. 689 00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:40,594 You know what? 690 00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:41,970 You're doing just fine. 691 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,847 Well, you should hate me. 692 00:44:43,889 --> 00:44:45,807 Well, I don't. 693 00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:47,517 Why not? 694 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:50,897 I'm holding you hostage. - Here. 695 00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:53,232 Because I see a person in pain, 696 00:44:54,274 --> 00:44:57,695 not an enemy, just a wounded sheep. 697 00:44:58,612 --> 00:45:04,077 Okay. 698 00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:05,452 I wish I had some water. 699 00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:07,804 Okay... 700 00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:08,914 Deep breaths. 701 00:45:09,331 --> 00:45:09,957 You know. 702 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:13,794 You're good at this. 703 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:15,337 Ah. 704 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,880 Lily? 705 00:45:16,922 --> 00:45:18,382 Oh, that girl, she was wild. 706 00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:21,677 She was always falling and climbing and jumping. 707 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,554 And, uh, I'd have to take care of her. 708 00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:27,724 One time, she tried to do a cartwheel off of 709 00:45:27,766 --> 00:45:32,479 the the living room table and she had the stitches all across her chin. 710 00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,064 Sounds like a spirited kid. 711 00:45:34,773 --> 00:45:36,442 Oh, she was, she was. 712 00:45:36,733 --> 00:45:38,694 They all were. 713 00:45:39,486 --> 00:45:41,405 So... 714 00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:43,281 You know what? That's what it was. 715 00:45:43,323 --> 00:45:45,701 That's why I couldn't leave that night. 716 00:45:45,993 --> 00:45:47,953 I knew it was something. 717 00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:51,248 When your parents got there, the way they were. 718 00:45:51,373 --> 00:45:55,502 Caring for you while you were in pain, and how nobody was 719 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:59,465 paying attention on what happened to your family. 720 00:46:00,340 --> 00:46:03,719 So, I stayed in the chapel, and I prayed for them. 721 00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:08,599 Lily, Jason, Emily, and Mark. 722 00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:12,686 I said their names over and over. 723 00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:18,942 I don't know why, but it just felt necessary. 724 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:25,449 Thank you for remembering them. 725 00:46:26,742 --> 00:46:31,205 For remembering them as people and not victims. 726 00:46:31,538 --> 00:46:33,499 I appreciate that. 727 00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:37,169 Wait, hold up, Doc. 728 00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:40,255 Before you wrap that up, let me get 729 00:46:40,297 --> 00:46:42,466 one of them orange suckers you got in there. 730 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,260 Oh! Ah. 731 00:46:46,094 --> 00:46:47,471 Oh. 732 00:46:48,722 --> 00:46:50,182 That's gonna make me feel better. 733 00:46:50,265 --> 00:46:51,565 I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. 734 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:52,726 Thank you. 735 00:46:52,851 --> 00:46:53,451 You're welcome. 736 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,188 You are welcome. 737 00:46:56,813 --> 00:46:58,774 So. 738 00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:01,401 What do we do now? 739 00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:03,612 Um, I don't know. 740 00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:05,614 I guess go back to my office. 741 00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:10,202 Yeah, we can, but you know I'm holding you hostage. 742 00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:12,204 I've got a gun. 743 00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:15,207 I'm starting to get cold. 744 00:47:16,166 --> 00:47:18,126 All right. 745 00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,420 Well, you still. 746 00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:25,175 You still got a little bit of whiskey left and that work as a sedative. 747 00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:28,595 Okay. 748 00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:32,474 Mmm. 749 00:47:33,308 --> 00:47:35,269 Ooh. 750 00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:36,186 Easy, easy, easy. 751 00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:38,981 All right. 752 00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:41,858 All right. 753 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:46,822 Okay, go, whoa, whoa, go, be careful, careful. 754 00:47:58,041 --> 00:48:00,002 Come on, I gotcha you... 755 00:48:00,586 --> 00:48:02,546 All right, I gotcha. 756 00:48:02,754 --> 00:48:04,673 Come on. 757 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:06,341 Ah! 758 00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:07,425 Oh. 759 00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:09,678 Breathe, breat, breat, breathe. 760 00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:13,932 Okay. 761 00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,226 Wait. wait. Okay. 762 00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:17,311 Okay. 763 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:19,187 Come on, you can do it. 764 00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,189 You know what? 765 00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:22,482 I have to take a break. 766 00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:23,233 Okay. 767 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:24,568 All right... 768 00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:26,320 Okay, take it easy. 769 00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:28,113 Oh. 770 00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:32,117 Come on 771 00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,203 Easy. 772 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,332 Easy. 773 00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:41,335 Okay. 774 00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,420 Ooh. 775 00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,630 Ooh, I got some'em. 776 00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:46,381 Ah. 777 00:48:46,423 --> 00:48:47,799 Got it, get it. Can you get it? 778 00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:50,218 Can you get that out of my back pocket for me? 779 00:48:50,969 --> 00:48:51,803 Oh, yeah. 780 00:48:51,887 --> 00:48:52,929 Oh, yeah. 781 00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:55,474 Ah. 782 00:48:57,225 --> 00:48:59,186 Okay, okay. 783 00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:00,562 Okay. 784 00:49:03,231 --> 00:49:04,191 Ooh. 785 00:49:04,483 --> 00:49:05,884 Well, we didn't have to go to your office. 786 00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:09,613 You could have just pull it out in there. 787 00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:14,034 Ummm. Help me get that, help me with that. 788 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,454 Oh, come on. 789 00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:18,872 Okay, there you go. 790 00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:20,165 Yeah. 791 00:49:25,337 --> 00:49:27,631 Ah. - Whoo! 792 00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,424 If my congregation could see me now. 793 00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:32,135 Oh. 794 00:49:33,929 --> 00:49:37,140 Ah. You know, I am. 795 00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:43,981 Trying to decide whether I should call the authorities for an ambulance. 796 00:49:45,732 --> 00:49:48,151 No, let's not worry about that just yet. 797 00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:53,115 But you need to see a professional for that arm. 798 00:49:57,828 --> 00:49:59,788 I have a question for you. 799 00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:02,457 Okay. 800 00:50:03,208 --> 00:50:06,545 Why were you so afraid of dying when you had a panic attack? 801 00:50:07,963 --> 00:50:13,552 Okay, but, um, first, I want you to tell me 802 00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,805 why you're so mad at God. 803 00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:23,937 My mother. 804 00:50:25,772 --> 00:50:29,693 We had a bond unlike anyone else I've ever known. 805 00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:39,661 She was the one who taught me how to pray, how to read the Bible. 806 00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:43,373 How to see God in everything. 807 00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:48,420 She was the first one in church. 808 00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:51,673 She was the last one to leave. 809 00:50:52,716 --> 00:50:54,676 Always volunteering. 810 00:50:57,971 --> 00:50:59,931 Always. 811 00:51:00,223 --> 00:51:03,435 She supported me in every way. 812 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:08,440 Even when I decided 813 00:51:08,523 --> 00:51:11,443 to go to the ministry without my father's wishes. 814 00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:18,200 I know this may sound ridiculous, but. 815 00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:22,704 I thought my mother was the closest thing to the Virgin Mary. 816 00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:24,998 Oh. Wow. 817 00:51:25,999 --> 00:51:30,712 Loving. selfless, so caring. 818 00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:33,006 Mm. 819 00:51:33,965 --> 00:51:35,926 But when she got cancer. 820 00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:41,181 When the the pain became so unbearable, 821 00:51:46,061 --> 00:51:48,021 She blamed God. 822 00:51:49,731 --> 00:51:53,902 She even blamed me for having her have faith in HIM. 823 00:51:56,988 --> 00:52:00,951 She began to curse, swear. 824 00:52:05,997 --> 00:52:09,375 My mother just screaming to God. 825 00:52:09,417 --> 00:52:14,464 Screaming out that screaming out that God had abandoned her. 826 00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:17,384 During COVID, I had done what felt like 827 00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:19,928 100 funerals. 828 00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:23,682 And I witnessed miracles. 829 00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:29,688 The lame walk, the sick healed. 830 00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:33,942 I've witnessed prayers 831 00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,946 that defied explanation. 832 00:52:38,738 --> 00:52:40,699 So I started a prayer team. 833 00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:42,700 Intercessors. 834 00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:45,203 I mean, we prayed day and night. 835 00:52:47,455 --> 00:52:50,208 I was certain. 836 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,713 Absolutely certain God would heal her. 837 00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:01,887 But the pain became so increasingly unbearable, 838 00:53:01,970 --> 00:53:05,223 that she begged me to take her life. 839 00:53:06,224 --> 00:53:09,352 My mother, the woman who 840 00:53:09,394 --> 00:53:11,646 taught me to have faith was begging 841 00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,859 her pastor son to help her die. 842 00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,079 I couldn't understand how God could allow her... 843 00:53:28,121 --> 00:53:31,333 to lose her faith, her dignity. 844 00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,297 And we were all praying so hard. 845 00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:47,432 The last coherent things she said to me was, 846 00:53:50,226 --> 00:53:52,187 Where is your God? 847 00:53:54,231 --> 00:53:56,191 Where is your God now, David? 848 00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:04,699 After that, standing in that pulpit felt like theater. 849 00:54:05,992 --> 00:54:08,453 Hollow words, empty promises. 850 00:54:12,248 --> 00:54:18,213 How could I tell someone grieving to believe in God? 851 00:54:20,715 --> 00:54:22,676 When I no longer believe in myself? 852 00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:25,178 You know. 853 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:29,683 My mother in law said something similar to me. 854 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:33,603 She said that, God is good. 855 00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:37,691 He has a plan. 856 00:54:39,025 --> 00:54:43,238 I wanted to scream... 857 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:47,450 I wanted to scream and never stop-stop screaming. 858 00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:51,913 I understand that feeling. 859 00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,665 Now it's your turn. 860 00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:55,917 Tell me. 861 00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:59,421 Why were you so afraid to die during your panic attack? 862 00:55:01,214 --> 00:55:03,841 I think we should go and check those water pots. 863 00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,302 Come on. 864 00:55:05,427 --> 00:55:06,928 You think you can do it? 865 00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:08,263 Come on. 866 00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:09,389 I'm gonna need some help. 867 00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:10,807 All right. 868 00:55:11,599 --> 00:55:14,185 Come on. Just lean on me. 869 00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,479 Come on. Up. Up. Up. 870 00:55:16,521 --> 00:55:17,230 Okay. 871 00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:18,106 Okay, okay, okay. 872 00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,023 All right, here we go. 873 00:55:19,065 --> 00:55:20,024 Come on, gotcha, gotcha. 874 00:55:20,066 --> 00:55:21,109 All right, take it easy. 875 00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:23,111 Let a breath out. Take a deep breath. 876 00:55:23,236 --> 00:55:24,779 You ready? 877 00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,614 All right, come on, come on. 878 00:55:26,906 --> 00:55:28,324 Okay. 879 00:55:28,366 --> 00:55:29,701 All right. 880 00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:30,452 Come on. 881 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:35,456 Here we go. 882 00:55:35,498 --> 00:55:37,417 You just sit right. 883 00:55:37,459 --> 00:55:39,419 Make yourself comfortable. 884 00:55:41,963 --> 00:55:43,881 All right, you good? 885 00:55:43,923 --> 00:55:45,550 You good right there? 886 00:55:45,592 --> 00:55:46,426 Yeah. 887 00:55:46,509 --> 00:55:47,177 All right. 888 00:55:50,472 --> 00:55:52,432 You know, I thought that. 889 00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:57,437 This was gonna be different. 890 00:56:00,273 --> 00:56:02,442 That I would be in control. 891 00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,454 But. 892 00:56:15,288 --> 00:56:18,958 Thinking I would be ready, but when I could not breathe, 893 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,629 when I thought that I was dying, I 894 00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:26,049 I was terrified. 895 00:56:33,973 --> 00:56:36,935 Do you know why I came here tonight specifically? 896 00:56:37,727 --> 00:56:39,020 No. 897 00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:40,438 It's our anniversary. 898 00:56:43,233 --> 00:56:48,613 Mark and I would have been married for 35 years today. 899 00:56:53,993 --> 00:56:59,207 And it's also the anniversary of the argument. 900 00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:02,627 What argument? 901 00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:07,674 We were running late for church, and I was furious. 902 00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:14,180 And I was yelling at Mark about driving faster, drive faster. 903 00:57:14,973 --> 00:57:18,685 Shouting at Emily about staying out late, not wanting to go to church. 904 00:57:19,227 --> 00:57:23,189 And I was mad at Jason about reading that dinosaur book. 905 00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:28,027 And Lily had spilt 906 00:57:28,069 --> 00:57:30,238 juice down the front of her dress. 907 00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:35,034 And I was. I was just beside myself 908 00:57:36,244 --> 00:57:41,249 My last words to my family. 909 00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:44,169 They were angry words. 910 00:57:46,212 --> 00:57:49,549 And it was all about being late 911 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:53,219 for church, all about appearances. 912 00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:57,140 What would everybody think if... 913 00:57:57,182 --> 00:58:00,518 the Sunday school teacher's family came in late. 914 00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:09,194 We were arguing when that truck hit us. 915 00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:17,452 If. If we would not have gone to church that Sunday, 916 00:58:18,077 --> 00:58:23,416 If I wasn't so concerned about being on time, if we would have just, 917 00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:26,252 If. 918 00:58:26,711 --> 00:58:30,006 If we would have just stayed home... 919 00:58:30,381 --> 00:58:31,048 Sarah... 920 00:58:31,090 --> 00:58:32,342 No, no, no, no. 921 00:58:33,218 --> 00:58:35,178 You asked why I was afraid. 922 00:58:36,387 --> 00:58:39,641 I'm terrified that God... 923 00:58:39,807 --> 00:58:43,394 is punishing me, that my family is, 924 00:58:43,436 --> 00:58:46,606 up in heaven, and and I won't be able to, 925 00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:49,984 join them because their death is on, 926 00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:52,946 my hands, and that is why God didn't take me to. 927 00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,201 That's not how it works. 928 00:59:00,286 --> 00:59:02,247 How do you know? 929 00:59:04,249 --> 00:59:06,542 That accident wasn't a punishment. 930 00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:08,962 It was just... an accident. 931 00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:16,177 How can you be so sure? 932 00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:19,681 Because if God punished people like that, none of us would survive. 933 00:59:21,266 --> 00:59:23,226 Then why? 934 00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:25,561 Why them? 935 00:59:25,603 --> 00:59:26,854 Why not me, too? 936 00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:30,191 I don't know. 937 00:59:30,775 --> 00:59:32,735 And I want won't pretend to have the answer. 938 00:59:34,737 --> 00:59:37,991 But it wasn't because you argued that morning. 939 00:59:45,498 --> 00:59:47,458 I've got to check on something. 940 00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,670 Sarah. 941 01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:39,927 Pastor! 942 01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:41,846 Sarah, don't... 943 01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:43,639 No, no, no, I'm not gonna shoot you. 944 01:00:52,732 --> 01:00:55,985 But I am gonna do what I came here to do. 945 01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:57,194 No, Sarah. 946 01:00:57,236 --> 01:00:58,613 Look, Sarah, don't do this. 947 01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,697 Why not? 948 01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:01,532 Look Give me some reason that is not 949 01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:05,953 some platitude, some reason that is not from some sermon. 950 01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:08,914 Because I need you. 951 01:01:08,956 --> 01:01:10,458 What? 952 01:01:11,209 --> 01:01:13,169 You coming in here tonight. 953 01:01:14,212 --> 01:01:15,296 Must have been God. 954 01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,438 Couldn't have been a coincidence. 955 01:01:17,256 --> 01:01:20,176 Oh, so God, so, now you believe in God, again. 956 01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:25,556 I don't know what I believe anymore, but I know I don't want you to die. 957 01:01:25,723 --> 01:01:28,684 You coming here tonight of all nights, 958 01:01:29,977 --> 01:01:32,438 you remind me so much of my mother. 959 01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,274 I'm nothing like your mother. 960 01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:39,737 Look, the care you took... even when... 961 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:42,990 you were in pain, you still cared for my arm. 962 01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,536 And that's who you are, Sarah. 963 01:01:46,994 --> 01:01:51,374 Even when you're falling apart, you still care. 964 01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:52,875 You love. 965 01:01:52,917 --> 01:01:57,130 Then if what you're saying is true, and God sent me to you, 966 01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:01,426 then either... 967 01:02:02,468 --> 01:02:05,221 God is in it, or it's just some, some, 968 01:02:05,263 --> 01:02:10,351 chaotic, some chaotic coincident. 969 01:02:11,728 --> 01:02:13,688 Maybe that's it. 970 01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:16,691 That we're both looking for certainty where there isn't any. 971 01:02:17,483 --> 01:02:20,445 Maybe faith isn't about having all the answers. 972 01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,448 Maybe it's about continuing when we don't. 973 01:02:24,740 --> 01:02:28,327 That is not good enough. 974 01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:30,413 Look, that's all I have. 975 01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,415 What if we're both wrong? 976 01:02:32,748 --> 01:02:35,710 What if God isn't punishment or reward? 977 01:02:36,210 --> 01:02:38,129 Maybe he's just, 978 01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:39,922 present. 979 01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:46,679 Well, if God is present, then why does it hurt so much? 980 01:02:49,098 --> 01:02:51,058 Look, I don't know. 981 01:02:52,477 --> 01:02:54,437 But I know I don't want you to die. 982 01:02:56,981 --> 01:02:58,899 And your family wouldn't want this either. 983 01:02:58,941 --> 01:03:02,195 You don't know what my family would want. 984 01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:07,200 I know they loved you, and I know they loved you very much. 985 01:03:07,950 --> 01:03:10,077 And love doesn't want destruction, 986 01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:13,206 love wants life. 987 01:03:14,999 --> 01:03:17,460 I don't know how to live without them. 988 01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,172 Neither do I. Without my mother, 989 01:03:21,214 --> 01:03:23,424 without my my faith as it was. 990 01:03:26,677 --> 01:03:28,721 Maybe we weren't meant to go through this alone. 991 01:03:29,222 --> 01:03:31,182 Maybe we were meant to go through this together. 992 01:03:32,475 --> 01:03:33,684 What are you saying? 993 01:03:33,726 --> 01:03:34,977 We can do this. 994 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,440 Us. 995 01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:44,904 My grandmother, a wise woman, as I'm realizing 996 01:03:44,946 --> 01:03:49,367 at this moment, she hasn't spoken in years. 997 01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:54,205 But she speaks through these cards. 998 01:03:57,458 --> 01:04:00,670 Until now, I didn't know why. 999 01:04:07,468 --> 01:04:10,429 God, grant me the serenity 1000 01:04:10,471 --> 01:04:14,225 to accept the things that I cannot change, 1001 01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:16,352 and the courage to change the things that I can, 1002 01:04:17,728 --> 01:04:21,858 and the wisdom, the wisdom to know the difference. 1003 01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,199 We're gonna make it through this. 1004 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:32,702 Okay? 1005 01:04:33,327 --> 01:04:35,121 We're gonna make it. 1006 01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:02,732 I hope that you're not considering suicide. 1007 01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:05,443 No. 1008 01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,490 Just contemplating the night. 1009 01:05:11,532 --> 01:05:13,618 Oh. Woo! 1010 01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:19,206 These pews are not designed for sleeping. 1011 01:05:19,665 --> 01:05:23,460 Tell that to my congregation during Sunday sermons. 1012 01:05:23,502 --> 01:05:25,463 Mmm. 1013 01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:34,680 Can you ever forgive me for holding you hostage and for shooting you? 1014 01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:38,267 Of course I forgive you. 1015 01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:40,227 Oh, thank you. 1016 01:05:41,228 --> 01:05:43,189 Thank you. 1017 01:05:43,981 --> 01:05:48,945 Now, I want to talk to you about something that you told me about your mother. 1018 01:05:50,738 --> 01:05:55,201 You said that she cursed at the end, that she questioned God. 1019 01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:58,412 Yes. 1020 01:05:58,454 --> 01:06:02,375 And that that is one of the reasons you lost your faith, because if she... 1021 01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:05,919 could lose her faith... 1022 01:06:05,961 --> 01:06:07,963 She was the most devout woman I've ever known. 1023 01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:12,551 I don't believe that God, 1024 01:06:13,969 --> 01:06:15,888 forsook her. 1025 01:06:15,930 --> 01:06:17,139 Jesus didn't forsake her. 1026 01:06:17,181 --> 01:06:21,435 I worked in hospice care. 1027 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:28,150 While I was in nursing, training, and I saw a lot of people, 1028 01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:30,653 at the end. 1029 01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:32,238 And pain. 1030 01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,451 Whew. Pain changes people. 1031 01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:41,455 Medication. 1032 01:06:42,748 --> 01:06:47,211 It changes people and dying. 1033 01:06:48,212 --> 01:06:50,172 It changes people. 1034 01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:52,925 David. 1035 01:06:53,718 --> 01:06:57,179 In the natural world, 1036 01:06:57,221 --> 01:07:00,224 the human heart only weighs about 10 ounces. 1037 01:07:00,975 --> 01:07:02,643 I don't understand. 1038 01:07:02,768 --> 01:07:04,687 But in the spiritual world, 1039 01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:10,443 it is the heart that protects the soul. 1040 01:07:11,235 --> 01:07:14,905 It is the guardian of who we truly are. 1041 01:07:16,991 --> 01:07:21,454 Now... your mother. 1042 01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:28,001 That 10-ounce muscle... 1043 01:07:28,043 --> 01:07:32,673 that beat inside of her for 70 years, 1044 01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:36,010 it carried. It carried love. 1045 01:07:37,470 --> 01:07:40,931 It carried faith, it carried devotion. 1046 01:07:42,975 --> 01:07:46,186 And the pain of a mind, 1047 01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:51,192 and all of the suffering, the uttering from the suffering. 1048 01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:53,444 God weighs, 1049 01:07:54,737 --> 01:07:59,450 not the words that we speak when we're in agony, but the heart. 1050 01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:02,161 Her heart. 1051 01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:03,704 Oh! 1052 01:08:03,746 --> 01:08:05,706 It was pure. 1053 01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:12,004 Her heart was pure love, and it carried her safely home. 1054 01:08:12,963 --> 01:08:14,924 Now, 1055 01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:19,220 you remember the story about Jesus 1056 01:08:20,012 --> 01:08:22,681 and the thief on the cross next to him? 1057 01:08:23,224 --> 01:08:27,144 Jesus didn't save him because he was 1058 01:08:27,770 --> 01:08:30,231 ah, ah, ah, devout. 1059 01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:33,317 No. 1060 01:08:33,442 --> 01:08:36,236 He didn't save him because he, he... 1061 01:08:36,278 --> 01:08:41,534 was a tither or because he took care of animals and people, 1062 01:08:43,244 --> 01:08:47,456 because he fed the hungry, clothed the naked. 1063 01:08:48,999 --> 01:08:51,961 No, Jesus saved him. 1064 01:08:53,712 --> 01:08:56,757 Because at that moment, 1065 01:08:56,799 --> 01:09:00,761 at that moment, faith, when he said, "Master, when 1066 01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:04,181 you go home to heaven, I want to go with you." 1067 01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:06,225 That was all Jesus needed to hear. 1068 01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:09,395 That act of faith at that moment 1069 01:09:11,730 --> 01:09:17,194 after a lifetime of sin and selfishness, 1070 01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:25,286 those words, that faith at that time. 1071 01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:29,206 He went with Jesus. 1072 01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:36,547 So, ah, you know, 1073 01:09:36,589 --> 01:09:40,592 what that band ooh, that bandage, we're gonna need to change bandage. 1074 01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:41,969 Come on, come on, come on. 1075 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,095 Follow me to the kitchen. - All right. 1076 01:09:43,137 --> 01:09:44,346 Come on, come on. Up. Up. 1077 01:09:44,638 --> 01:09:45,973 Come on. Baby 1078 01:09:53,230 --> 01:09:54,773 TruVine, I need a little help in here today. 1079 01:09:54,815 --> 01:09:58,694 Now, where is your faith? 1080 01:09:59,987 --> 01:10:02,239 See, see, see, now, now. 1081 01:10:02,406 --> 01:10:08,203 Faith, just... just isn't believing that everything is going all right. 1082 01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:11,957 You, you see, true faith is trusting in God. 1083 01:10:12,416 --> 01:10:16,754 Now, now, now, I don't know about y'all today, but I came here to praise God. 1084 01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:21,008 Did you come here to praise God with me? 1085 01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,636 Amen, amen! 1086 01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:25,512 TrueVine, repeat after me. 1087 01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:26,805 Where is your faith?! 1088 01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:28,515 Where is your faith?! 1089 01:10:28,557 --> 01:10:29,600 Glory be to God. 1090 01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:31,310 Amen, amen. 1091 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,562 Now, I just want to leave y'all with a little something. 1092 01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:36,815 You know, this song, my mother, she loved this song, and I'm 1093 01:10:36,857 --> 01:10:40,193 sure we all have sang this song so many times. 1094 01:10:40,235 --> 01:10:44,198 So just sing along with me, and we're gonna praise God together. 1095 01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,700 Amen. 1096 01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:48,869 Ah. 1097 01:10:48,911 --> 01:10:56,252 ♪ Amazing grace, ♪ 1098 01:10:58,045 --> 01:11:04,343 ♪ how sweet the sound, ♪ 1099 01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:12,434 ♪ that saved ♪ 1100 01:11:12,726 --> 01:11:17,898 ♪ a wretch, ♪ 1101 01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:22,987 ♪ like me, ♪ 1102 01:11:23,737 --> 01:11:29,535 ♪ I once was lost, ♪ 1103 01:11:30,744 --> 01:11:36,625 ♪ but now I'm found, ♪ 1104 01:11:36,792 --> 01:11:41,005 ♪ was blind but now, ♪ 1105 01:11:42,214 --> 01:11:42,814 ♪ I see, ♪ 1106 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:54,476 ♪ ah amazing grace! ♪ 1107 01:11:55,936 --> 01:12:02,901 ♪ How sweet the sound... ♪ 1108 01:12:02,943 --> 01:12:05,904 ♪ that saved a wretch. ♪ 1109 01:12:08,449 --> 01:12:12,494 ♪ Like me! ♪ 1110 01:12:12,828 --> 01:12:19,418 ♪ I once was lost. ♪ 1111 01:12:19,918 --> 01:12:22,588 ♪ But now I'm found, ♪ 1112 01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:24,260 ♪ was blind. ♪ 1113 01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:43,976 ♪ But now I see! ♪ 1114 01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:00,959 Remember this? 1115 01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:03,295 Ooh, you was hot when you gave me this one. 1116 01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,172 Calm down. 1117 01:13:05,214 --> 01:13:07,215 You wasn't having it that day. 1118 01:13:07,257 --> 01:13:08,717 Your head was rolling. 1119 01:13:09,218 --> 01:13:12,221 All in my business. 1120 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,681 I was, I was Grandma Ruth, I found it again. 1121 01:13:14,723 --> 01:13:16,391 Well, I will. 1122 01:13:17,684 --> 01:13:18,518 Well, I will leave you two to it. 1123 01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:20,437 All right. 1124 01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:26,443 Thank you. 1125 01:13:30,989 --> 01:13:34,034 I found my faith in the most unexpected place with the most unexpected person. 1126 01:13:34,076 --> 01:13:36,036 This card saved my life. 1127 01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:40,457 Helped save someone else's life, too. 1128 01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:44,670 And I'm not resigning from the church. 1129 01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,131 I am staying. 1130 01:13:48,173 --> 01:13:50,008 You know, I met a woman that night. 1131 01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:51,843 Sarah. 1132 01:13:51,885 --> 01:13:53,804 She was in as much pain as I was. 1133 01:13:53,846 --> 01:13:56,181 Maybe more. 1134 01:13:56,974 --> 01:14:00,894 But we help each other find our way back. 1135 01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,149 Now, not to certainty, but to hope 1136 01:14:06,483 --> 01:14:09,528 the willingness to keep on going. 1137 01:14:09,570 --> 01:14:13,407 Now, I know you can't speak, Mama Ruth, but I 1138 01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:16,275 just wanted you to know that it was your wisdom and your love 1139 01:14:18,495 --> 01:14:21,457 to help us get right back on track. 1140 01:14:26,753 --> 01:14:29,173 Um, Grandma Ruth, where are your cards? 1141 01:14:30,215 --> 01:14:32,176 I put them away. 1142 01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:37,181 Grandma Ruth, you're speaking. 1143 01:14:39,683 --> 01:14:47,191 When you came here yesterday. 1144 01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:50,235 So much, anger, and hurt, I saw myself, 1145 01:14:53,238 --> 01:14:57,701 in your eyes. 1146 01:14:58,994 --> 01:15:02,915 I've been pretending for years, David. 1147 01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:05,959 Had the answer. 1148 01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:10,422 What do you mean? 1149 01:15:10,964 --> 01:15:16,094 When your mother got sick, when she passed, 1150 01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:20,724 I was furious with God. 1151 01:15:22,476 --> 01:15:26,480 God isn't supposed to take your children before you. 1152 01:15:28,982 --> 01:15:36,573 Especially one. So pure and God-fearing. 1153 01:15:37,991 --> 01:15:41,453 Oh, I became so angry. 1154 01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:47,209 But everyone expected me, 1155 01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:51,213 to be the strong one, the faithful one. 1156 01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:57,594 Huh. So I stopped talking, not, 1157 01:15:57,636 --> 01:16:00,973 just the people, but especially God. 1158 01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:03,392 I did know you felt that way. 1159 01:16:03,475 --> 01:16:05,435 I know, baby. 1160 01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:14,236 But I didn't want your faith to be shaken by my lack of it. 1161 01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:20,200 So, those cards became my hiding place. 1162 01:16:21,743 --> 01:16:29,743 Oh, I could give wisdom without facing my own doubt. 1163 01:16:33,588 --> 01:16:39,845 Without admitting, I was just as lost as everyone else. 1164 01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:42,556 Ooh. 1165 01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:46,810 But when you, when you came. 1166 01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:54,568 With all your pain, I... I realized, 1167 01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:59,448 I could not go on living a lie. 1168 01:17:00,490 --> 01:17:02,450 Mm. 1169 01:17:02,492 --> 01:17:04,453 Mm-hmm. 1170 01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,290 So... 1171 01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:10,959 I started praying again. 1172 01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:14,087 Really praying. 1173 01:17:15,213 --> 01:17:20,093 Not just reciting pretty words, but wrestling. 1174 01:17:20,969 --> 01:17:23,930 Wrestling with God, like Jacob at the river... 1175 01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,436 And he answered, "Yes." 1176 01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:35,525 But not until I ask him for forgiveness. 1177 01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:37,944 And mean it. 1178 01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:44,201 I prayed for you all night, David. 1179 01:17:45,744 --> 01:17:50,123 I asked God to take away your anger, your hurt, 1180 01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:56,922 your pain, and help you get back to him. 1181 01:17:59,925 --> 01:18:00,525 Hmm. 1182 01:18:01,968 --> 01:18:08,141 Sometimes, God uses our brokenness to help others. 1183 01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:10,352 Mm-hmm. 1184 01:18:10,727 --> 01:18:13,855 And I prayed that that night so, so, 1185 01:18:13,897 --> 01:18:16,441 hard, I felt like Jesus in the garden. 1186 01:18:19,736 --> 01:18:24,157 Your honesty. 1187 01:18:24,199 --> 01:18:26,451 Your honesty that morning. 1188 01:18:28,245 --> 01:18:32,833 Helped me to find my voice again. 1189 01:18:34,710 --> 01:18:39,381 And my prayers, [laughter] help you. 1190 01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:41,716 They help bring you back home. 1191 01:18:43,218 --> 01:18:45,429 And we both found our faith again. 1192 01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,639 Hmm. 1193 01:18:47,681 --> 01:18:49,433 That's how God works, baby. 1194 01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:56,189 He uses broken people to help other broken people. 1195 01:18:57,232 --> 01:19:00,986 Now that's the real miracle! 1196 01:19:03,238 --> 01:19:04,781 That's it. 1197 01:19:04,823 --> 01:19:06,408 I love you, Grandma Ruth. 1198 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:08,452 I love you, too, baby. 1199 01:19:09,494 --> 01:19:14,207 More than words, more than you'll ever know. 1200 01:19:16,376 --> 01:19:18,795 singer vocalizing] 1201 01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:20,797 Thank you, Lord. 1202 01:19:22,215 --> 01:19:24,008 Yes, Lord. Thank you, Lord. 1203 01:19:24,050 --> 01:19:27,053 Yes, Lord. Amen.