1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,103 [announcer] From the newsroom, this is Channel 9 News. 4 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,230 [anchor] Police are asking for any information 5 00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:24,275 that could lead to the capture of the Winter General and his associates, 6 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,153 who have been identified on surveillance footage in connection 7 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,155 with the recent disappearance of the mayor. 8 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:32,992 This is the latest in a string of crimes since the ratifying of the 28th Amendment, 9 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,537 granting superpowers as a human right for both heroes and villains. 10 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914 Reports indicate that power-enhancement drugs 11 00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:41,375 are being dealt on the streets to the highest bidder, 12 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,794 potentially exacerbating the crime wave. 13 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:47,590 Captain Justice and his team are working tirelessly to find the suspects 14 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,885 and put an end to this illegal drug trade before it's too late. 15 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,971 [dramatic electronic-rock music playing] 16 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,106 [mayor] Please help me. 17 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:10,529 She looks nice. 18 00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,072 Beatrix. 19 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:29,340 ♪ Unh, unh, yeah, what? ♪ 20 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,301 ♪ Hey, yo, uh-huh ♪ 21 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,638 ♪ Oh ♪ 22 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,684 How do we even know these work? 23 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:44,188 ♪ Ah, oh, mm, mm ♪ 24 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,483 Fair enough. 25 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,705 The mutant genome spider. 26 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,876 The world's most poisonous spider, and yet a true pacifist... [chuckles] 27 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,088 unless provoked, such as when defending its familial group against-- 28 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:09,839 Quiet. 29 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,092 ♪ Ah ♪ 30 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,762 Should we be aware of any side effects? 31 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,639 Mm! 32 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:22,268 Like, will these give him, like, fingernail sensitivity, or--? 33 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,937 -Insomnia? -High T? Low T? 34 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,939 -No T? -What about hot flashes? 35 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,233 Because he is the Winter General, after all. 36 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,528 -That could be devastating. -It could ruin things for all of us. 37 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,823 Did we already talk about his liver? Because he already has cirrhosis. 38 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,867 Sort of runs in his family, the cirrhosis. 39 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,077 -[Beatrix] Yeah, it's, uh, genetic. -Yeah. 40 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,372 -I would like to know about the urination. -Color, texture. 41 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,790 It'll still be liquid, right? 42 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:47,626 What if he becomes pregnant or may become pregnant? 43 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,212 -Can he become pregnant if he wants to? -Silence! 44 00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,382 It's not addictive, though, is it? 45 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,384 Because we already have an opioid crisis. 46 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,970 That's not this master's plan. That's Big Pharma's plan. 47 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:58,804 Hey-o. 48 00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:01,515 Not to be too political. Sorry, I'm really nervous. 49 00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,767 -Do you wanna see a magic--? -Beatrix, Cain! 50 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,395 It's a good one. 51 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,316 What has gotten into you two? 52 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,406 ♪ Ah, ooh, mm ♪ 53 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,741 It's confirmed. 54 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,201 Captain Justice is on the way. 55 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,828 He fell for the bait. 56 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,413 Go us! 57 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,206 [Winter General chuckles] 58 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,294 It seems Captain Justice is falling into my trap, Mr. Mayor. 59 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,755 You're not gonna get away with this, Winter General. 60 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,089 Won't I? 61 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:40,679 May the blood of that self-righteous pig moisturize your angry fists, my liege! 62 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,598 [laughs, then coughs] Ow. 63 00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,475 Yes, Harold. 64 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602 There will be blood. 65 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,691 [hero] I hope you're not talking about my blood. 66 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,861 'Cause I prefer to keep it to myself. 67 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,030 Captain Justice. 68 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,323 That's me. 69 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,785 Justice Punch! 70 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,466 -Nice toss. -I know. 71 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,427 [groans] 72 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,138 [laughing] 73 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:29,395 I have waited for this moment for a long time. 74 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,355 [Justice groaning] 75 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,817 You call me a villain, and for what? 76 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,151 Because... 77 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,242 [gasps] My favorite shirt has a hole in it. 78 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,744 [Winter General speaking indistinctly] 79 00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:46,745 Cain. 80 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,666 It is very important that you do not... 81 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,584 move. 82 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,461 -[gasps] Whoa! -I said, don't move! 83 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,547 [yelling] 84 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:01,552 Harold. 85 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,137 Harold. 86 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,140 You, who finds himself superior 87 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,434 just because he has signed a few book deals. 88 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,229 Just put the gun down. 89 00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,315 I think it's accepted me as one of its own. 90 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,859 [quavers] 91 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,445 -I got a clear shot. -But it's on my face. 92 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,030 -Just turn profile. -[Cain] No. 93 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,031 -Do it. -[Cain] Look. 94 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,992 There has to be a better way. 95 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,495 You don't want innocent mutated-spider blood on your hands. 96 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,874 -Okay. -[Cain] All right. 97 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:33,667 -[gunshot] -[Beatrix yelps] 98 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:35,836 [Beatrix] Okay. 99 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,171 I got this. 100 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,964 -What are you doing? -Sleight of hand. 101 00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:40,883 -No. -I got this. I got this. I got this. 102 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,469 -Okay. Okay. You got this. -I got this. I got this. 103 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,430 [Winter General] Spare the rod, spoil the civilization. 104 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,058 And that includes its so-called protector. 105 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,519 And so, Captain, you must see. 106 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,064 I can't. I can't. 107 00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,276 -[Cain] You can do this. -Even with all your power... 108 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,861 -On three. -Okay. 109 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,697 ...you must die. 110 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,741 -One. -Goodbye, Brother Spider. 111 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,659 [suspenseful choral music playing] 112 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:08,744 -Two! -[screams] 113 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:18,962 [yelps] 114 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:27,221 [suspenseful choral music continues] 115 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,100 -Master? -Brother Spider? 116 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,478 Thanks, guys. 117 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,272 Couldn't have done it without you. 118 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,113 Ahh. Justice Juice. Bring thirst to justice. 119 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,365 Mayor. 120 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,867 Catch you all later. 121 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,416 Do you think he's gonna be okay? 122 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,794 [Beatrix] Probably not. 123 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,379 [country-folk music playing] 124 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,507 Brothers and sisters... [speaking indistinctly] 125 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:08,470 ♪ Well, he knew he had it comin' His dreaded fateful end ♪ 126 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:13,267 ♪ He sat up in the saddle A capital truly misspent ♪ 127 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪ But the winter's bite And the bitter cold ♪ 128 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:21,191 ♪ Couldn't stop him From hitting his threshold ♪ 129 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,526 [Harold sobbing] 130 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,696 ♪ Now they're off On the old lone prairie... ♪ 131 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531 [Harold] I love you, master! 132 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:32,244 ♪ A coyote passed the cottage mill Over by the fisherman's bend ♪ 133 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,038 ♪ He sings his song from dusk till dawn ♪ 134 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,418 ♪ Hi-oh-hi ♪ 135 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,129 ♪ His howls echo through the air ♪ 136 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:46,258 ♪ Weeping for this cowboy As he cries all night ♪ 137 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,719 ♪ Through the wake of day ♪ 138 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:53,515 ♪ Doggy, don't lay down Don't rest your legs ♪ 139 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:58,228 ♪ You must find the strength Coyote's on his way ♪ 140 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,606 ♪ You can hear him howl ♪ 141 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,067 ♪ Hoo-ooh ♪ 142 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,111 ♪ Hi-ooh ♪ 143 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,906 ♪ Hi-ooh ♪ 144 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,366 ♪ Hi-ooh ♪ 145 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:16,288 ♪ Hi-ooh ♪ 146 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:20,667 ♪ Now the rough roads keep on turnin' But the bronco's dance won't end ♪ 147 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:25,797 ♪ In his stone-cold weeping cowboy's heart That pony's loyal till the end ♪ 148 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,300 ♪ Though his buck may throw him In the dust ♪ 149 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:33,722 ♪ A cowboy knows it's in him he trusts ♪ 150 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:40,062 ♪ So now wise on up, young cowboy Whoop up those cattle again ♪ 151 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:44,775 ♪ Go strap up on your silver spurs And show 'em who will win ♪ 152 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,527 ♪ That coyote's song will ring along ♪ 153 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:51,907 ♪ Hi-oh-hi ♪ 154 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,660 ♪ His howls echo through the air ♪ 155 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:55,786 ♪ Weeping for the... ♪ 156 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,788 [song continues indistinctly over speakers] 157 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:02,292 -[woman speaking indistinctly on TV] -[man speaking indistinctly on radio] 158 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,548 [Beatrix] Mm, Mama likes that storefront. 159 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,847 Hoo. Powers. 160 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,225 [Harold] Feeling hungry? 161 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,393 No, thanks. 162 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,980 Wow, free gruel and you're ungrateful. 163 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,482 You know, there are henchmen in China who are starving. 164 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,276 Well, lots of people in China are starving. 165 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,694 Yeah, it's pretty cool. 166 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,570 [coughs] 167 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,365 Harold, aren't you tired of eating that stuff every day? 168 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,449 No. 169 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,535 How about watching your bosses get blown up? 170 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,662 -Too soon. -See? I know you don't like that. 171 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:41,456 Or watching SEAL Team 6 take him out while you're trying to sleep. 172 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,749 What happened to that guy? 173 00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,002 He died, Harold. That's what we're talking about. 174 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,505 That's why we've been saving up our money for ten years to go independent. 175 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,175 Now, we all know world domination takes money. 176 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,636 The projected cost is $1 billion. 177 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,888 -And we are a little short of it. -That's right. 178 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,891 But after today, we will have enough to start this. 179 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,768 -[laughs] -[Beatrix] Killer Petco. 180 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,646 The world's first evil pet store. Working title. 181 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,691 'Cause supervillains love to have their sinister pet sidekicks. 182 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,318 They do indeed. 183 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,821 So we slowly permeate the market selling pets to villains. 184 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,157 But we secretly train them with a kill switch 185 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,326 to turn on their owners when the time is right. 186 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,329 And, thanks to some legalese in the contract at the point of sale 187 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,913 naming us the sole beneficiaries, 188 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,333 we simultaneously eliminate competition 189 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,878 and gain the wealth and assets for world domination. 190 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,338 I love that. 191 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:33,383 One note, do we have to do the kill-switch part? 192 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,469 What do you mean? 193 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,513 I just don't really like the idea of us killing anyone. 194 00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,058 Well, it's world domination, Cain. People get killed. 195 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,310 Does it have to be our evil overlords? 196 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,937 -Yes. -Why? 197 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:48,190 Because that's the plan. 198 00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,192 -Maybe we should take a vote. -No, no vote. 199 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,568 Let's just get our money 200 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:56,281 and then figure out a more nonlethal, villain-friendly kill switch. Deal? 201 00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,700 -Deal. Good compromise. Thank you. -You're welcome. 202 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,244 -Harold, how do you feel? -[man on TV] ...superhero, Captain... 203 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,162 [Beatrix] Harold. 204 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,581 ...after just defeating the Winter General. 205 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,375 Captain, great to have you on today. 206 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,628 [Justice on TV] I wanna protect your world, and I wanna give it my all 207 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,421 to show what success looks like. 208 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,881 How'd you do it? 209 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,509 [Justice] You know, I'm not gonna lie to you, Mike. Uh... 210 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,136 Simply put, I blew him up with my mind powers. 211 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,098 What? He didn't blow him up. If anyone did, it was us. 212 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,643 That's a figure of speech. 213 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:28,230 Hi, Chet. You doing good? Yeah. 214 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,439 [Mike] So brave. 215 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,607 Was it brave? 216 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,694 You know, on my planet, we don't have a word for "brave." 217 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:39,950 But what I can tell you, Mike, is what I did was completely heroic. 218 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,243 Selfless. 219 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,037 -Dang it. -And pretty much really super neat. 220 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,998 -[Mike] Wow. -"Wow" is right. 221 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,336 Yes, I may have crazy strength and infectious charisma, 222 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,755 but in many ways, I'm a lot like you humans. 223 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,258 I need to replenish my electrolytes. 224 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,677 That's why I drink Justice Juice. 225 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,304 Bring thirst to justice. 226 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,764 Dang, that's catchy. 227 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,266 -[device beeping] -Hey! 228 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,602 It's our turn, guys. We're up, dudes. 229 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,813 We're still getting paid. 230 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,232 -[computer buzzes] -Payment denied. 231 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,402 What? Why? 232 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,947 According to your contract with Mr. The Winter General, 233 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,741 final payment is contingent on, and I quote, 234 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:26,163 "the successful takeover and/or obliteration of the world." 235 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,791 Which, according to our records... 236 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,293 [computer buzzes] 237 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,253 did not happen. 238 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,173 -Seems fair. -No, that does not seem fair. 239 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,341 It says right there, "pay for work performed." 240 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:43,972 "Conditional on Addendum 5033, Section D, i.e., world domination." 241 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,515 Did you take over the world? 242 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:47,726 No. 243 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,020 Can't hear you. Did you take over the world? 244 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:50,937 No. 245 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,733 Well, payment denied. I suggest you read all of your contracts. 246 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,235 He tricked us with our own trap. 247 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,322 Yeah. I miss him too. 248 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,074 Ma'am, if I may-- 249 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,493 -No. -Okay. 250 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,244 Listen, Miss... 251 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,789 Lady, we don't care about the union rules. 252 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,667 This was a year's worth of work. We'll organize a strike. 253 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,169 Then you'll be shot. 254 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,797 Well, maybe not a strike, but a very angry letter. 255 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,300 Question for the lovely lady. 256 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:26,723 Is there anything I can do that will help us get this payment? 257 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:32,395 I am prepared to offer you a golden ticket to Harold Land. 258 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,856 I'm not interested. 259 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,025 -The feeling is mutual. -Shut up, Harold. 260 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,945 Oh, well, excuse me for using my charms to further our designs. 261 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,156 -You don't have charm, you have arthritis. -They're called jazz hands. 262 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,616 -Oh, I'll show you jazz hands. -Oh, yeah? 263 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:47,160 -You wanna see them? -You bring it! I will kill you! 264 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,955 You're both very charming, all right, you guys? 265 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:50,997 This is-- 266 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,667 Excuse me. 267 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,674 Now, I can't pay on your existing contract. 268 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:06,513 However, I do have some quick jobs that are in need of immediate hire, 269 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,931 if you're interested. 270 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:15,772 So the first thing you wanna remember about poison testing is don't swallow. 271 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,898 It is poison. 272 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,401 [gentle, whimsical music playing] 273 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,415 -[Beatrix] Take it back! Take it back! -[Harold] I'm taking it! 274 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,666 [Cain screams] 275 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,836 [Harold] I'm having the time of my life! 276 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,337 [Beatrix] Shut up, Harold! 277 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:41,756 [screaming] 278 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,466 [Harold laughs] Yes! 279 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,063 [beeping] 280 00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,608 -No, no, no. Don't rush it. Don't rush it. -I got this. 281 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,735 -Guys? -[Harold] We gotta do something. 282 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,614 We gotta do something! We gotta do something! 283 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,282 [beeping intensifies] 284 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,879 [in strained voice] This is really bad for my vertebrae. 285 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,881 [Beatrix] Just keep going. 286 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,300 If we sprint, we might be done... 287 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,845 in a couple of weeks. 288 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,263 [PA chimes] 289 00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,682 [man over PA] More crystals are coming. 290 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,933 But no overtime. 291 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:38,396 Any complainers will be liquefied and turned into more crystals, okay? 292 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,065 -Thank you. -I hate this. 293 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:43,234 Hey, it is an honor to serve our evil overlords, 294 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,736 no matter the sacrifice. 295 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,280 Why are you so old? 296 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,492 Look, I understand it's frustrating, all right? 297 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,828 But we're the bad guys with a lowercase B. 298 00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,872 We're the little B's, all right? 299 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,998 It is what it is. 300 00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,877 You mean being exploited for our labor and then not being rewarded for it? 301 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,796 Yes, but at least they care for us. 302 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:03,755 [PA chimes] 303 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,675 [man] Attention. Lunch is canceled. 304 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,592 Forever. 305 00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,511 And no eating crystals. 306 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,971 Whatever. Let's just push through and get our money. 307 00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:15,225 Hey, while we're at it, we should remind them about our reimbursement. 308 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,060 Yes. What reimbursement? 309 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,688 For the personal loan I gave the Winter General. 310 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,774 We didn't give any personal loans, Harold. 311 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:23,983 [Harold] Sure, we did. 312 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:28,655 I gave cash from our savings so that he could get his powers? 313 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,824 Oh, my Alzheimer's. How much did you give him? 314 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,575 -Hundred and twenty-five K. -[winces] 315 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,119 We only had 60. 316 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,162 I know. I had to take out a personal loan. 317 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,331 What? Should I have given him more? 318 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,667 No! You shouldn't have given him anything! 319 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,419 Well, sorry. 320 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,839 Our boss, who I pledged loyalty to, 321 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,465 said that you guys said 322 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:52,887 that I should give him a cash loan, no questions asked, and I obeyed. 323 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,347 So sue me. 324 00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,475 No, don't sue me. We haven't been reimbursed yet. 325 00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,562 You don't lend villains money! 326 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,813 [Beatrix grunting] 327 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,441 [screaming] 328 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,110 Stop! You bit me! 329 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,195 Weapons-grade dentures. 330 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,658 Bite that! 331 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,285 [Cain] Stop it! Stop it! 332 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,912 You're gonna get us liquefied! 333 00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,874 It's fine. We're just clearing the air. No one's gonna get hur-- 334 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,128 Sorry. 335 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,548 It was meant for her. 336 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,551 [groaning] 337 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,971 [PA chimes] 338 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:39,267 [man] Attention. Uh, can someone please... [speaking indistinctly] 339 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,268 Come on. 340 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,526 [groans, then screams] 341 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,653 -Say you're sorry. -Never. 342 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,740 Do it. Or I'll give you a death-crystal colonoscopy. 343 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,493 I am over 50 and I'm due. 344 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,703 -[bone cracks] -[yelping] 345 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,665 [both growl] 346 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,000 [yells] 347 00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,673 [automated voice] Warning: Crystals activated. 348 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:14,385 Warning: Crystals activated. 349 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,680 Self-destruct sequence starting in ten... 350 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:18,890 It's probably fine. 351 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,017 ...nine, eight... 352 00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,728 We're not getting paid again, are we? 353 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:29,734 Just checking. 354 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,824 [shouting] All in all, a good day. 355 00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:39,077 Hey, do you guys have a ringing in your ear? 356 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:43,206 [Cain] Hey, we've earned money before. We can earn it again. 357 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,084 -It took ten years. -Maybe this time it'll only take nine. 358 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,045 Look, it is what it is. 359 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,467 [Harold shouting] Do you guys taste metal? 360 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,346 [reporter speaking indistinctly on radio] 361 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:04,227 Maybe it should be what it should be. 362 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,270 [man] What? 363 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,689 Did you just say something to me? 364 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,441 Oh. No, I was just talking to myself. 365 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,611 Oh. If you ever need someone to talk to... 366 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,288 [electronic music playing] 367 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,626 This is absurd, all right? These tryouts are pass-die. 368 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,752 They're die-outs. 369 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,379 -Bulletproof blouse? -Yes. 370 00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,964 Cain, I understand your concern, 371 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,383 but world domination is not gonna fund itself. 372 00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,218 [Cain] You don't even have any powers. 373 00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,429 Actually, I took two years of necromancy in high school, 374 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,055 so I can kind of talk to the dead. 375 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,849 Well, at least the ones that speak English. 376 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:43,850 [Cain] Is that it? 377 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:47,395 Well, I understand some Spanish, but dead Spanish is a tricky dialect. 378 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,731 You should be able to shoot, like, fire or lasers 379 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,983 or something out of your eyes. 380 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,234 You know I can't do that. 381 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,111 [sighs] That's my point, okay? 382 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,323 My cousin, Picklebone Ben, he went to tryouts without powers, 383 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,617 and he died, okay? And then they made his friends 384 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,368 and his family burn all of his stuff 385 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,330 and pretend like he never existed in the first place, all right? 386 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,707 So please don't tell anybody that I brought him up. 387 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,000 Cain, I know it's scary, 388 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,711 but this is the only way that we're gonna get the pet store 389 00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,339 and dominate the world and end this cycle of poverty. 390 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,506 It's time to man up. 391 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,133 -Here you go. -Thank you. 392 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,554 What if I'm in love with you? 393 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,431 -[Beatrix] You aren't. -I know. 394 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,353 I've got this taken care of. Trust me. 395 00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,066 I feel great about this. 396 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,277 [upbeat folk music playing] 397 00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:37,695 You dropped your bra. 398 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,545 [boy on radio] I sure love Justice Juice. 399 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673 [man on radio] The energy it gives me to get through the day. 400 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,967 -[boy] Give me my Justice Juice! -[man] Food is boring. 401 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,052 -[boy] I love Justice Juice. -[man] Justice Juice is fun. 402 00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:03,304 -[boy] My father needs a Justice Juice. -[man] Go without him. 403 00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,516 [boy] My grandpa wishes he was still alive to drink Justice Juice. 404 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,063 [upbeat folk music continues] 405 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,509 Cool ax. 406 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:48,266 I've heard sometimes it's a good idea to make an alliance in these things. 407 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,809 Level the playing field. 408 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,353 You be the Stockton to my Malone. 409 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,025 Or you could be Malone. I'm fine with either. 410 00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,069 My uncle had an ax once. 411 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,156 He tripped on it and died. 412 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,450 It was very gruesome. 413 00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:10,663 It was a closed casket, but I did look. 414 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,001 [door opens] 415 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,086 [suspenseful music playing] 416 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507 [music turns ghoulish] 417 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:23,593 [applicants murmuring] 418 00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,769 [blows whistle] 419 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,273 My name is Lorena. Welcome to tryouts. 420 00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:41,486 I would like to recognize and thank our resident villain, Sigma. 421 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:43,780 Hail Sigma! 422 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,198 [all] Hail Sigma! 423 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,368 Who has generously sponsored this year's tryouts, 424 00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:54,415 including the cash prize for any of you who passes slash survives. 425 00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:58,628 I'm sure you're all aware of his tremendous and dark résumé. 426 00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:02,006 Weapons dealer, political coups, general disinformation. 427 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:08,179 It is an honor to have him here. 428 00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:12,600 And now please address your attention to the video presentation. 429 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,815 [dramatic music playing on TV] 430 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,358 "Becoming Evil," 431 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,736 the official Villain Tryout guide by the League of Evil. 432 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:26,781 So you think you've got what it takes to be a villain? 433 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:31,828 Well, congratulations, because now you get to prove it. 434 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:37,750 Your Villain Tryout will test your mind, body and soul, if you have one. 435 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,335 [laughing in deep voice] 436 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,923 Can you kick an old person when they're down? 437 00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:47,385 Can you stand by when your friend's face gets melted by a superhero 438 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:48,344 and still be tough? 439 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,097 If you answered yes, great. 440 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:54,308 To become an officially-licensed villain, you have to be bad. 441 00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:57,937 You have to be best. You have to be "the bast." 442 00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,730 "The bast." 443 00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:02,775 As a villain, your body will be a registered weapon. 444 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,070 And these are the guns. 445 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:09,866 -Tryouts... -[laughing] 446 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,789 [applicants] Ooh! 447 00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:23,588 Finger Cannon Power and other Sigma power supplements 448 00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:26,132 are available for purchase at any licensed dealer. 449 00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,594 Use promo code Sigma10 and get a 10 percent discount at checkout. 450 00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:33,139 Good luck. 451 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,225 [ghoulish music playing] 452 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:38,769 -Villain name? -Beatrix the Abyss Wraith. 453 00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,105 Taken. 454 00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:43,566 Beatrix 89. 455 00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:44,692 Also taken. 456 00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:47,945 Your assigned name is Danger Person... 457 00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:49,947 -All right. -...83616. 458 00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:52,074 Actually, that's also taken. 459 00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:54,619 Danger Person 83617. 460 00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,746 Okay, what was that number? 461 00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:59,248 -Plan? -Yes. Um... 462 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:02,793 Uh... It's called Killer Petco. 463 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:06,631 And essentially, we sell pets to villains that eventually kill them, 464 00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:09,383 and then, through some complicated legalese, 465 00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,802 we get all the assets of the deceased. 466 00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,554 Killer Petco is a working title. 467 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,183 Eliminating the competition. Smart. 468 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,142 Superpower? 469 00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,604 -I can talk to the dead. -Prove it. 470 00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,482 Okay. Um... 471 00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,655 Hello, dead people. 472 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,158 Hola. 473 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,120 I'm also very good at sleight of hand. 474 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:40,414 No. 475 00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,002 Also, I'm bulletproof. 476 00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:47,004 -Oh. -[drawer closes] 477 00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,932 Cleared. Report for physical training. 478 00:26:03,604 --> 00:26:04,522 [door closes] 479 00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:05,856 Ow. 480 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,278 [wincing] 481 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:13,990 [exhales shakily] 482 00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:15,199 Wow. 483 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,663 [Cain] This is it. 484 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,042 Nice neighborhood. 485 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,213 [doorbell rings] 486 00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:31,173 [man over intercom] Yes? 487 00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,134 Hey. Uh, is there a Mr. Megadeath at home? 488 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:35,594 [computerized voice] Halt. Intruder will be shot. 489 00:26:35,678 --> 00:26:37,346 -Nice. -[man] Who's asking? 490 00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,765 You hired us for a job. The agency sent us. 491 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:41,976 [man] Ah, yes. 492 00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,484 [locks clacking] 493 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,201 Sorry about that. Can't be too careful. 494 00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:02,246 I'm going through a divorce. 495 00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:03,289 Megadeath. 496 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:04,915 I am so honored. 497 00:27:05,499 --> 00:27:06,334 Alex! 498 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:08,461 Yeah? 499 00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:12,089 Alex, these are a couple of, uh, friends, um... 500 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:14,759 -Uh, Cain and Harold. -Yes, Cain and Harold. 501 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:18,179 They're gonna be helping us today with crime stuff. 502 00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:20,306 Coolio. I'll grab the bag. 503 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:21,307 Okay. 504 00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:27,563 Is that your son? 505 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,816 No. Intern. Got him from one of those coding boot camps. 506 00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:34,362 He's a great kid, though. Wish he was my son. 507 00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:35,780 -How sweet. -[Megadeath] Mm. 508 00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,990 That's why it's so hard having to sell him. 509 00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:40,659 -Hmm. Wait, what? -Yeah. 510 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,162 Old Megadeath made some mega-bad investments. 511 00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:45,748 And then with the divorce, she got the lair. 512 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:48,209 She doesn't even like the lair. I won't get into it. 513 00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:50,002 The point is, I'm starting anew. 514 00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,963 And fortunately, computer geniuses go for top dollar. 515 00:27:53,047 --> 00:27:55,007 You are so brave. 516 00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,468 -Does he know he is being sold? -No. No. 517 00:27:57,551 --> 00:28:00,096 He has severe separation anxiety. 518 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,891 And ever since I abducted him, he's had this phobia of being abducted. 519 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:08,145 Fortunately, he also suffers from Stockholm syndrome, so it balances. 520 00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,690 Anyway, it's best to just let him think everything is normal. 521 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:13,275 -Ready? -Great. 522 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,945 Let's get to the tech-show conference thing. 523 00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,614 We know what I'm talking about. Alex, get the robe. 524 00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:30,626 So you eat with the ax too? 525 00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:33,212 Restrain her! 526 00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,715 -Is something wrong? -Danger Person 83617, 527 00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:41,554 we've received information that suggests inaccuracies in your application. 528 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,807 If this is about my ACT score, I just didn't count the math portion. 529 00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:48,477 -I didn't think it was-- -This was found in your laundry. 530 00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,604 Oh, not so bulletproof, are we? 531 00:28:51,272 --> 00:28:52,565 You went through my laundry? 532 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:57,153 Next time, may I suggest you sort your linens from your Kevlars? 533 00:28:57,945 --> 00:28:59,905 [blows whistle] 534 00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:01,991 [dramatic music playing] 535 00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,953 Intern secured in the van. Perimeter check complete. 536 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,580 Oh, and I got us some lunch. 537 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:08,831 No, thanks. 538 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:09,790 More for me. 539 00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:12,877 So how long you been a villain? 540 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,379 Uh, 27 years. 541 00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:16,922 -Cool. -Yeah. 542 00:29:17,006 --> 00:29:18,716 I wasn't always this way, though. 543 00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,093 When I was younger, I actually wanted to be a hero. 544 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,262 -Gross. -Really? 545 00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:26,849 Yeah. But they said my power wasn't a good fit. 546 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,685 -Well, what was your power? -I melt people's faces. 547 00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:30,978 Awesome. 548 00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:33,397 To be fair, it is pretty horrific. 549 00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:34,523 I don't even like it, 550 00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:37,610 which is why I typically use the particle eviscerator instead. 551 00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:39,987 Well, at least that's more humane. 552 00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:43,032 It's not, but the loudness covers the screams. 553 00:29:43,741 --> 00:29:46,118 I wanna be just like you when I grow up. 554 00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:49,455 Sorry, old chap, but after this, I am done. 555 00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:52,458 Can't spend my whole life looking over my shoulder, you know? 556 00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,877 I wanna go out on my own terms, you know? 557 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,587 Kind of in the way I began-- 558 00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:57,796 [gunshot] 559 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,257 [mysterious music playing] 560 00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:03,886 Hands up! 561 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,473 Is he dead? 562 00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:08,807 I don't know. 563 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,684 Can you check? 564 00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:12,603 Okay. 565 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,191 He's dead. 566 00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:18,776 [Harold moaning] 567 00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:23,197 You can put your hands down now. She only wanted him. 568 00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,533 -She? -The ex-wife. 569 00:30:25,616 --> 00:30:26,867 Nasty divorce. 570 00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:30,663 I loved you like the younger father I never had. 571 00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,457 [hit man 1] Oh, poor guy. Must have meant a lot to you, huh? 572 00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:36,418 -How long you guys been working with him? -Since this morning. 573 00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:37,545 He's very emotional. 574 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,299 -[sniffs] -[both] Huh. 575 00:30:42,383 --> 00:30:44,802 Was there an Alex that came with this bag? 576 00:30:45,469 --> 00:30:46,512 Um... 577 00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:49,181 [people speaking indistinctly on headphones] 578 00:30:49,265 --> 00:30:50,516 You'd have to ask him. 579 00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:53,852 [winces] Ooh. We shouldn't have used the killing bullets. 580 00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:56,063 Well, maybe this should be a lesson to you guys 581 00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:57,856 that violence is not the answer. 582 00:30:57,940 --> 00:31:00,651 We're hit men. Like, we-- That's what we do. We kill people. 583 00:31:00,734 --> 00:31:02,820 -That's our job. -Yeah, I know that, but... 584 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:06,240 I mean, maybe instead of, you know, all of us henchmen are like, 585 00:31:06,323 --> 00:31:08,867 bam, bam, bam, when we should talk, talk, talk. 586 00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:12,079 Okay? Because, I mean, your brain, 587 00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:16,375 your mouth, your heart, is a weapon that you never have to reload, okay? 588 00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:19,628 So think about that, guys. There's a better way. 589 00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:22,006 That's a weird thing to say to someone you just met. 590 00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,090 [hit man 2] Yeah. 591 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:26,510 -If you hear anything, just... -Text is best. 592 00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:28,929 -[hit man 2] Yeah, use that. -[hit man 1] Yeah. Enjoy yourselves. 593 00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:31,724 -Card. -[Harold sobbing] Kill me instead. 594 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:35,811 Where's Megadeath? 595 00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,148 He's, uh... gone. 596 00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:43,819 To a meeting... with Steve Jobs. 597 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,989 So, um, you'll be working with us until he gets back. 598 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:50,159 So no-- No reason to be scared or worried. 599 00:31:51,035 --> 00:31:55,080 Cool. So did you guys do any fun crimes lately? 600 00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:01,670 [ghoulish music playing] 601 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,507 Danger Person 83617. 602 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:09,053 -I thought I was 83165. -For falsifying application credentials, 603 00:32:09,136 --> 00:32:11,347 you have been found guilty before this court. 604 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,349 -How do you plead? -Not? 605 00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:15,434 How dare you contradict the court? 606 00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:17,645 Look, I'm sorry for the miscommunication, 607 00:32:17,728 --> 00:32:20,898 but we wouldn't be here if you'd shot me in the face. 608 00:32:20,981 --> 00:32:23,734 -Which I'm grateful for. -Enough. Enough. 609 00:32:25,069 --> 00:32:27,738 Tell me, 83617... 610 00:32:27,821 --> 00:32:28,781 It's Beatrix. 611 00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:31,200 Nah, too hard to remember. 612 00:32:32,201 --> 00:32:36,622 If you knew you didn't have any powers, then why are you here? 613 00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:40,417 Look, all I've ever wanted is to take over the world. 614 00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:43,420 But when you're born a henchman you don't really get that chance. 615 00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:45,214 Especially if you're a henchwoman. 616 00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:47,758 So you lied to get power? 617 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,219 I lied to get opportunity. 618 00:32:52,221 --> 00:32:54,765 I know I broke the rules. I'm sorry. 619 00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,558 Villains don't apologize. 620 00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:57,976 I will work on that. 621 00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:00,437 But, and I feel strongly about this, 622 00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:05,234 maybe it's time for someone without powers to conquer the earth. 623 00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:07,403 A blue-collar bad girl. 624 00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,987 A villain for the people. 625 00:33:09,822 --> 00:33:12,324 That might be just what evil needs. 626 00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:14,118 [sentimental music playing] 627 00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,954 That was beautiful. 628 00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:22,751 -Kill her. -What? 629 00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,003 Villains don't give heartfelt speeches. 630 00:33:25,087 --> 00:33:27,840 Okay, it's starting to feel like you're just making rules up. 631 00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,925 [suspenseful music playing] 632 00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,429 Axe Guy, now's our chance. 633 00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:36,223 Stockton to Malone! 634 00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,768 Come on, we're friends. Remember? We're best friends. 635 00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,688 On my mark. Ready? 636 00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:45,190 I told you that thing about my uncle's closed casket. 637 00:33:45,274 --> 00:33:47,359 And you were so cool about it. 638 00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:48,402 Set. 639 00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:53,240 You're a terrible best friend. And your ax work is mediocre at best. 640 00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:54,491 Swing away. 641 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,870 You know what's better than beating one bad guy? 642 00:34:00,289 --> 00:34:01,248 Ahh. 643 00:34:01,331 --> 00:34:03,500 Beating more than one bad guy. 644 00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:07,087 Belt, play fight mix. 645 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:11,175 [hard-rock music playing tinnily over belt speaker] 646 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,721 This might, uh, throw you guys off, but I wrote this song, all by myself. 647 00:34:15,804 --> 00:34:17,139 You ready? Here it comes. 648 00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:19,850 [hard-rock music playing] 649 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:26,356 Table! 650 00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:29,735 Yes! 651 00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:34,907 [Justice laughs] 652 00:34:35,616 --> 00:34:36,450 Hey! 653 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:41,705 No one escapes the League of Evil. 654 00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:46,752 -[Justice] Justice is mine! -Sorry! 655 00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,295 ♪ But if I'm gonna die ♪ 656 00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:53,175 ♪ I'd rather spend my time alive like I ain't never gonna die ♪ 657 00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:54,927 ♪ 'Cause I ain't never gonna die! ♪ 658 00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:57,554 [screaming] 659 00:34:58,222 --> 00:34:59,515 Who's next? 660 00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:00,724 [music stops] 661 00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:17,533 [gentle, pensive music playing] 662 00:35:40,222 --> 00:35:41,181 [screeches] 663 00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,464 [winces, then grunts] 664 00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,392 [screams] 665 00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:41,199 [music stops] 666 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:43,827 Look, it's been a very stressful couple of days, 667 00:36:43,911 --> 00:36:47,289 and the dead guy I took this gun from said it does some very bad things 668 00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:51,001 that I don't completely understand, so please just walk away. 669 00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:52,711 Cain? 670 00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:55,756 Beatrix? You're alive? 671 00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:59,301 Yeah, kind of, but something really bad happened. 672 00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,636 You're alive! 673 00:37:01,762 --> 00:37:02,804 -Oh-- -No. 674 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,264 I can't believe I doubted you. 675 00:37:04,348 --> 00:37:06,058 Oh, no, Cain. It-- 676 00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:10,354 This is unbelievable. You are a villain! 677 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:13,732 -You're not-- You're not listening, I'm-- -We're number one! Oh! 678 00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:18,570 My best friend in the whole world is an officially-licensed villain now. 679 00:37:18,654 --> 00:37:23,116 Like a bona fide, certified villain, right? 680 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,493 [sentimental music playing] 681 00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,079 -Yeah. -Yes! Oh, wow. 682 00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,747 Oh, this is a good day. 683 00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:32,209 We can get out of this abandoned grocery store. 684 00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:35,587 I can call my parents. 685 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:38,799 They give you a villain name? 686 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:41,760 Do you have a name? Is it really cool? What's your villain name? 687 00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:43,929 Danger Person 83617. 688 00:37:44,012 --> 00:37:46,056 Oh, those are ju-- Those are great numbers. 689 00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:49,059 Whoo! I'm sorry. I'm just very excited. 690 00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:53,689 It's been a stressful couple of days, and this just makes it all go away. 691 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:55,440 Thank you. 692 00:37:56,984 --> 00:37:57,901 You're welcome. 693 00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:02,030 Sorry, I cut you off earlier. You were saying something bad happened? 694 00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,075 Yeah. Um... 695 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,619 I... I lost your duffel bag. 696 00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:08,996 Whoa. 697 00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:11,081 [seething] 698 00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,460 I'm sorry. I know it meant a lot to you. 699 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,756 Did you--? Did you try retracing your steps? 700 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,883 Yeah. I'm-- It's gone. 701 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:25,804 That's okay. It was just a priceless family heirloom. 702 00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:27,222 It's not... It's fine. 703 00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:29,433 Look, you can replace a duffel bag, 704 00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:33,311 but you can't replace a best friend who's a villain. 705 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:36,982 Thank you, Beatrix. Thank you. 706 00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,359 Harold is gonna be ecstatic. 707 00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:41,903 [sobbing] 708 00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:45,032 Okay, Harold. All right, let's... Let's calm down. 709 00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,869 Okay, okay. Just breathe. 710 00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:51,913 That prize money's gonna change a lot of things. 711 00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:53,707 But we need to stay humble. 712 00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:54,916 Yes. 713 00:38:55,625 --> 00:39:00,005 Remember, we still don't know exactly when that's going to arrive. 714 00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:02,132 Also, it's very important that neither of you 715 00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,509 ever tell anyone that I'm a villain. 716 00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:06,845 You got it... boss. 717 00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:11,933 I know I've said this to all of my masters before, but I would do anything for you. 718 00:39:12,559 --> 00:39:14,519 -Great. -I'd even kill him. 719 00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:17,189 -[Cain] Whoa. -[Harold] Someone I consider a friend. 720 00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:20,067 -Please don't. -Just to prove my loyalty. 721 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,276 Where'd you get that? 722 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,987 Amazon. It's not like I'd enjoy it. 723 00:39:24,071 --> 00:39:27,074 Unless she commanded me to. Then I suppose I'd have to. 724 00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:28,283 Okay, no killing Cain. 725 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:30,202 As you wish. 726 00:39:30,744 --> 00:39:34,414 [sighs] Let's all just go to bed. No more surprises tonight. 727 00:39:34,498 --> 00:39:35,874 Oh, you guys made tea? 728 00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,087 [groans quietly] 729 00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:41,546 Who is this? 730 00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:44,257 That's Alex. He doesn't know it, but his boss was slain 731 00:39:44,341 --> 00:39:46,218 while trying to sell him to some psychos. 732 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:49,471 -Then why'd you bring him back here? -He's our new intern. 733 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:51,473 [grunts weakly] 734 00:39:52,099 --> 00:39:54,101 [ghoulish music playing] 735 00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:59,356 Oh! You dirty son of a... 736 00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:01,483 Have that ball destroyed. 737 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,984 [door opens, then closes] 738 00:40:03,068 --> 00:40:04,319 Sir, it's confirmed. 739 00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:07,155 -The tryouts were raided. -Excellent. 740 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,074 Start scheduling a new round right away. 741 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:11,576 And, uh, make sure our friend Captain Justice 742 00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:13,745 gets another anonymous tip. 743 00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,750 There was one applicant who escaped. 744 00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:24,840 [Sigma] Danger Person 83617. 745 00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,550 [chuckles] 746 00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:28,718 Well, she's certainly hard to kill. 747 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,763 Pew! 748 00:40:33,974 --> 00:40:35,517 [Beatrix] All right, let's review. 749 00:40:36,143 --> 00:40:40,272 Take the hammer, smash the ATM, drill a hole, put in some dynamite. 750 00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:41,189 Questions? 751 00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:43,733 Yes. Why don't we just wait for the tryout prize money? 752 00:40:43,817 --> 00:40:45,402 I told you, it's-- It's coming. 753 00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:48,113 It's just that the League wants us to show some initiative. 754 00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:50,615 -You're sure they're okay with all this? -Mm-hm! 755 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,660 I'm a licensed villain, it's legal. Harold, you have the hammer? 756 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:55,579 All three. One, two, three. 757 00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:57,664 -Cain, dynamite? -Yes. 758 00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:02,043 -Where is it? -Right here. 759 00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:05,088 -These are road flares. -Are you sure? 760 00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:09,801 -Okay, that one's on me. -Yeah. 761 00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,179 They did throw in some free pepper spray. 762 00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:14,973 Great. Now we just need to find an ATM with eyes. 763 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:17,225 Good one, boss. [chuckles] 764 00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:20,061 Where can we find some explosives this time of night? 765 00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:22,022 Maybe these guys would know. 766 00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:24,107 [sneaky music playing] 767 00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:26,109 [Beatrix] Dang it. 768 00:41:30,864 --> 00:41:35,327 Hey! Hey! This is our spot. We have dibs. 769 00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:39,039 -What? -Dibs. You know, first right of refusal. 770 00:41:39,623 --> 00:41:41,541 You'll have to go and find another ATM. 771 00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:43,293 -You gotta be kidding me. -I'm not. 772 00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:46,379 But if you guys have some dynamite, we'd be willing to go halfsies. 773 00:41:46,463 --> 00:41:51,384 -Listen, lady, we're not going anywhere. -Oh, really? Well, it's hammer time. 774 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,596 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. 775 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:58,058 Why don't we, um, share the area, all right? 776 00:41:58,141 --> 00:42:01,353 In fact, I would be more than happy to take you guys 777 00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,563 to a very promising vending machine 778 00:42:03,647 --> 00:42:05,106 right down this street. 779 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,780 Big mistake. 780 00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:19,621 [groans] Okay. 781 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:25,126 So no money, but on the bright side, 782 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,128 we did make the streets a little less safe. 783 00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:30,298 -So that's still a win. -Go us! 784 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,636 Hey. How'd the, uh, criming go? 785 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,680 Great. Fine. What do you want? 786 00:42:36,763 --> 00:42:39,599 Uh, could I use a hand on a little experiment? 787 00:42:39,683 --> 00:42:42,978 -Is it dangerous? -There's a slight risk of injury. 788 00:42:43,812 --> 00:42:44,854 Harold. 789 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:49,901 Okay, let's talk next job. 790 00:42:49,985 --> 00:42:53,530 Ideally something that pays a lot. Like in the millions? 791 00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:55,198 Well, how much is the prize money? 792 00:42:55,282 --> 00:42:58,410 Next job, Cain. We gotta be the bast. 793 00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:00,578 The what? 794 00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:03,665 It's a thing they taught us at Villain Tryouts. 795 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:06,626 -Gotcha. What about Killer Petco? -We can't. 796 00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:09,921 The retail space is sold, and it's definitely a seller's market. 797 00:43:10,964 --> 00:43:12,382 We need a plan. 798 00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,927 [celestial music playing] 799 00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:31,985 Sorry. Still working out some of the bugs. 800 00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:36,406 Carry fridge. 801 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,045 That'll work. 802 00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:54,507 [Beatrix] So you call it the Healthy Brace? 803 00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:57,344 No, it's the Helpy with a P. 804 00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:58,762 [upbeat music playing] 805 00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:00,555 That's a terrible name. 806 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,974 Harold, are...? Are you okay? 807 00:44:03,058 --> 00:44:05,894 Fine, hungry and gassy. 808 00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:09,606 The system hinders memory, so he won't remember what happened. 809 00:44:10,231 --> 00:44:12,275 -That might also just be his age. -Yeah. 810 00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:15,236 So how does it work exactly? 811 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,031 Well, you know how we only use 10 percent of our brain? 812 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:22,035 Well, we also only use 5 percent of our muscle. 813 00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:25,497 And the Helpy Brace accesses the other 95 percent, 814 00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:29,501 which gives the user maximum strength, coordination, everything. 815 00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:31,252 It also counts your steps. 816 00:44:31,336 --> 00:44:33,088 How did it make him throw a fridge? 817 00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:35,340 Oh, simple. 818 00:44:36,424 --> 00:44:37,550 Technohypnosis. 819 00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:41,221 Or TH, for short. 820 00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:45,016 It's a project I've been working on for Mr. Megadeath. 821 00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:47,477 [Harold snoring] 822 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,354 He's in sleep mode. It's fine. 823 00:44:49,437 --> 00:44:51,356 But how is he still standing up? 824 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:53,483 It's the same tech that they use in Segways. 825 00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:55,944 But the real magic is in the voice command. 826 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:58,780 Harold, dance. 827 00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:02,951 [laughs] It's cool, right? 828 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,911 Okay, so that's how he threw the fridge? 829 00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:10,750 Well, the command was to make a sandwich, but like I said, it's still pretty buggy. 830 00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,378 And by buggy, I mean dangerous. 831 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:17,549 What about breaking into a safe, like that one? 832 00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:22,637 -Could he do that? -Probably. Here, give it a try. 833 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,265 Harold, open the safe. 834 00:45:34,566 --> 00:45:36,776 I don't think we're gonna need dynamite anymore. 835 00:45:37,277 --> 00:45:39,028 Not safe. 836 00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:41,906 -[Alex yells] -Oh! Okay, um... 837 00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:43,908 -Ow. -Harold, what are you doing? Stop-- 838 00:45:43,992 --> 00:45:46,244 -[groaning] -Harold! 839 00:45:53,293 --> 00:45:55,795 -[bones crack] -[groaning] 840 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,715 [suspenseful music playing] 841 00:46:05,597 --> 00:46:07,015 A little help here? 842 00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:09,976 Force quit! 843 00:46:11,895 --> 00:46:13,146 Confirmed. 844 00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:14,230 [music fades] 845 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:16,232 [screwdriver clatters] 846 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:22,197 -Oh, no, no, no! No, no! -Oh, no! No, no. 847 00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,782 [Beatrix & Cain sighing] 848 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:27,243 How'd it go? 849 00:46:29,037 --> 00:46:30,872 [screams] 850 00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,374 [shouting gibberish] 851 00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:35,919 [exhales] 852 00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:39,047 All right, so good first test. Should we go again? 853 00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:43,676 -I don't know if that's gonna be possible. -No, it's okay. 854 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,428 I think it's just stuck in the bone. 855 00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,138 No. 856 00:46:47,972 --> 00:46:49,891 [groans] 857 00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,518 Wait. 858 00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:55,230 It just needs a new chip. Mr. Megadeath might have one. 859 00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,231 Should we call him? 860 00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,608 [dialing phone] 861 00:46:58,691 --> 00:47:00,151 [line ringing] 862 00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:03,780 [line chimes] 863 00:47:03,863 --> 00:47:06,908 [automated voice] The number you have reached has been disconnected. 864 00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:10,078 It's doing the... [mimics chime] ...thing. 865 00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,454 I might know a guy. 866 00:47:12,956 --> 00:47:13,957 [pins clatter] 867 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,543 Sweet. I love bowling. 868 00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:17,669 [grunts, then thuds] 869 00:47:18,211 --> 00:47:21,089 -You bowl? -Mostly online. 870 00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:23,508 I'm more of a dodgeball guy. 871 00:47:23,591 --> 00:47:26,010 -Also online. -All right, you guys stay here, 872 00:47:26,094 --> 00:47:28,137 keep an eye out while we go and get the chips. 873 00:47:28,221 --> 00:47:30,473 Permission to use lethal force. 874 00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,102 -For what? -On the pins. Kapow. 875 00:47:35,562 --> 00:47:37,522 -Denied. -Copy. 876 00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:38,731 Just keep a low profile. 877 00:47:38,815 --> 00:47:40,483 -Come on, Cain. -Roger that. 878 00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:42,860 I hope you're ready to become a man. 879 00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:44,821 How-- How? 880 00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:47,615 Well, you got one ball. You're halfway there. 881 00:47:49,325 --> 00:47:52,412 -[Beatrix] So who is this guy? -He's a notoriously violent ex-villain 882 00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:53,454 known as the Seagull. 883 00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:54,831 -[Beatrix] Ex-villain? -Yeah. 884 00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:57,458 He lost his license after he pecked a colleague to death 885 00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:59,752 for making bird sounds at him. 886 00:47:59,836 --> 00:48:01,796 He's been a black-market dealer ever since. 887 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,548 That's where I get our pantyhose. 888 00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:04,716 She's here. 889 00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:11,306 Well, if it isn't Danger Person 83617. 890 00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:15,018 Looks like someone's got some... time to spare. 891 00:48:16,311 --> 00:48:18,855 Let me do the talking. We don't want to come off soft. 892 00:48:18,938 --> 00:48:22,317 Just don't bring up his hand, all right? He's very self-conscious about it. 893 00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,737 I'm not gonna be looking at his hand. I'm gonna be looking at his eyes. 894 00:48:26,446 --> 00:48:27,447 [Beatrix exhales] 895 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:31,409 Mr. Seagull, it's such a pleasure to meet with you today. 896 00:48:31,492 --> 00:48:32,619 Really... 897 00:48:38,750 --> 00:48:40,043 What was that? 898 00:48:41,294 --> 00:48:42,253 What? 899 00:48:42,337 --> 00:48:44,922 That face you made when I spun around. 900 00:48:45,715 --> 00:48:46,966 I didn't make a face. 901 00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:51,012 Was it my hand? 902 00:48:51,971 --> 00:48:52,972 What hand? 903 00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:55,141 Oh, that's new. 904 00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:59,729 What we're trying to say is, uh, do you have one of these? 905 00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:18,998 Hey! You gotta go. 906 00:49:19,082 --> 00:49:21,793 Go. Go. Go! Get! 907 00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:26,714 [door closes] 908 00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:31,219 This is a Romethean mind-control chip. 909 00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:34,263 How did you guys get one of these? 910 00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:37,684 We have a very specialized team. 911 00:49:37,767 --> 00:49:39,560 I will kill you pins! 912 00:49:39,644 --> 00:49:43,815 I will cut your family into splinters 913 00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:46,567 and bathe in your wooden blood! 914 00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:47,694 [yells] 915 00:49:47,777 --> 00:49:49,821 [rock music playing over speakers] 916 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:51,197 This game is rigged. 917 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,701 -[man] Thank you for tuning in to 98.3. -Come on. Try this. 918 00:49:54,784 --> 00:49:57,995 [woman] This is now 98.3 Mix. 919 00:49:58,079 --> 00:49:59,956 How'd you get so good at technomancy? 920 00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:02,667 When I was 9, I found a broken-down arcade game, 921 00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:05,378 and I fiddled with it until it started working again. 922 00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:08,256 And then I fiddled with it some more and made a cyborg. 923 00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,258 I've been obsessed with technology ever since. 924 00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:12,677 You know, in my day, we called them electronicals. 925 00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:16,723 How'd you guys meet? 926 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:20,393 The three of us started working for this villain called Opaque Man. 927 00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:23,604 -Isn't he the guy that's almost invisible? -Yeah. We were his cronies. 928 00:50:23,688 --> 00:50:25,898 -No way! -BFFs forever. 929 00:50:27,650 --> 00:50:29,068 I wish I had friends. 930 00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:32,697 Oh, you... You don't have friends? 931 00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:36,951 Well, just the ones I program. And then Mr. Megadeath. 932 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,954 Yeah. Yeah, that probably... 933 00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:41,706 Yeah. 934 00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:45,376 Well, you know, I'll, uh... 935 00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:48,004 I'll be your friend. 936 00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:50,965 -Really? -Oh, yeah. 937 00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:54,051 I mean, technically, you're part of the team anyway, 938 00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:57,180 and... basically, we're all your friends. 939 00:50:58,473 --> 00:51:00,933 -Awesome. -But you do start at the bottom. 940 00:51:01,017 --> 00:51:02,894 -I'm okay with that. -Great. 941 00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,272 Can you lend me some money? 942 00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:11,486 Ten thousand. Cash. 943 00:51:12,195 --> 00:51:14,781 I'm not doing any of that Bitcoin nonsense anymore. 944 00:51:16,282 --> 00:51:17,617 And how much for one? 945 00:51:19,368 --> 00:51:20,828 Ten thousand, cash. 946 00:51:20,912 --> 00:51:23,122 Do you do financing? 947 00:51:23,206 --> 00:51:25,208 [laughing] 948 00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:26,375 Okay, just... 949 00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:31,339 I mean, do you have the money or not? 950 00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:32,965 -Yes. -Not physically. 951 00:51:33,049 --> 00:51:36,177 But we can come to some kind of arrangement. 952 00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:39,180 Such as equity in our evil startup. 953 00:51:40,973 --> 00:51:42,058 No! 954 00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:46,604 You come here, insult me, 955 00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:49,941 and waste my time with nothing to show? 956 00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:52,610 Does the chip we brought have any trade-in value? 957 00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:54,028 No! 958 00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:58,324 -Does this have trade-in value? -Hold on. Okay, hold on. 959 00:51:58,407 --> 00:52:00,326 We can get you your money and more. 960 00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:01,911 We just need a handful of chips. 961 00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:05,081 Not hand. Any appendage. Sorry. 962 00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,249 Quiet! 963 00:52:06,999 --> 00:52:08,668 Quiet! [squawks] 964 00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:13,214 Do you know why the seagull is the most magnificent bird? 965 00:52:13,923 --> 00:52:15,716 Because of its unexpected mercy? 966 00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:16,968 No. 967 00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:22,682 It's because the seagull isn't afraid to eat its own species. 968 00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:26,811 [Beatrix gasps] 969 00:52:28,563 --> 00:52:30,064 [Seagull] This back here... 970 00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,399 I got it. 971 00:52:32,024 --> 00:52:33,109 I got it, Pete. 972 00:52:33,192 --> 00:52:36,237 Okay, I got it! Let me do it! Pete, I can do it. 973 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,364 I can do it myself. I've got-- 974 00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:41,868 [Pete groans] 975 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,330 I hope they don't think this was a hate crime. 976 00:52:53,087 --> 00:52:54,213 Don't look suspicious. 977 00:52:54,297 --> 00:52:56,257 Or do. I don't know what's better here. 978 00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,428 [Harold] Hey. Look what I learned today. 979 00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:04,140 That's great. Are these the right ones? 980 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:05,349 [Alex] Uh... 981 00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,312 Yeah. Good to go. 982 00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:12,231 -Great. We gotta go. -Are you sure? We paid for two more games. 983 00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:16,235 -We need to go right now, okay? -Someone sounds like a chicken. [clucking] 984 00:53:16,319 --> 00:53:18,070 [Seagull grunting] 985 00:53:19,739 --> 00:53:21,365 [squawks] 986 00:53:21,449 --> 00:53:22,617 [hard-rock music playing] 987 00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:23,868 Give me the remote. 988 00:53:25,161 --> 00:53:26,287 Alex, defend. 989 00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,383 [Pete] Get over here. 990 00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:42,345 [groans] 991 00:53:46,057 --> 00:53:46,974 [crowd] Ooh! 992 00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,976 [chortling] 993 00:54:09,121 --> 00:54:10,122 [yells] 994 00:54:11,457 --> 00:54:12,708 Wow. 995 00:54:12,792 --> 00:54:15,378 I gotta have one of these. Find them. 996 00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:16,420 ♪ Oh ♪ 997 00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:20,675 Oh, yes! 998 00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,390 [screams] 999 00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:31,102 You! 1000 00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:35,356 [squawks] 1001 00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:42,279 [groans] You're crazy. 1002 00:54:45,116 --> 00:54:46,617 [Seagull] I'll kill you! 1003 00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:47,535 [squawks] 1004 00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:49,203 [screaming] 1005 00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,463 [screams] 1006 00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:01,882 I got you. 1007 00:55:01,966 --> 00:55:04,260 [pop music playing on speakers] 1008 00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:08,180 Alex, let's go. 1009 00:55:15,021 --> 00:55:16,647 [line rings] 1010 00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,442 [man over phone] 911. What's your emergency? 1011 00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:21,944 [sirens wailing in distance] 1012 00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:24,530 [Beatrix] Alex, hurry up. 1013 00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:33,247 Oh, he's in sleep mode. Come on, grab his legs. 1014 00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:34,498 Up, up, up. 1015 00:55:34,582 --> 00:55:36,876 Hurry, hurry. Lift with your legs. 1016 00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:37,960 [Cain] One, two... 1017 00:55:39,462 --> 00:55:42,506 Hey, secure the perimeter. What are you doing? 1018 00:55:42,590 --> 00:55:44,383 -Go interrogate the big guy. -Detective. 1019 00:55:44,467 --> 00:55:46,552 -What? -It's the chief. 1020 00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:50,890 Hello, sir. Yeah, everything's under control. 1021 00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:53,476 -Just some bowlers up to... -Shenanigans. 1022 00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:55,728 -...shenanigans. -[Justice] Really? 1023 00:55:56,479 --> 00:55:58,898 Or were they... framed? 1024 00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,441 Nice. 1025 00:56:00,524 --> 00:56:02,485 Captain Justice, we've been expecting you. 1026 00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,320 I know. Where is he? 1027 00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:08,074 [Seagull] Get off. Let go. You're in my house. 1028 00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:09,533 Well, well, well. 1029 00:56:10,618 --> 00:56:12,703 Are you the one that made this place so messy? 1030 00:56:12,787 --> 00:56:13,913 No. 1031 00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:15,915 It was your mom. 1032 00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:18,125 [growls, then squawks] 1033 00:56:18,209 --> 00:56:20,419 [groans, then screams] 1034 00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:24,131 First of all, the alien species I come from doesn't have moms. 1035 00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,133 We developed from plant pods. 1036 00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,010 Like unto this earth's fruit tree. 1037 00:56:28,094 --> 00:56:31,097 Except these pods are made up of mass quantities of creatine 1038 00:56:31,180 --> 00:56:32,515 and essential amino acids. 1039 00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:35,101 -Roasted. -[Seagull screams] 1040 00:56:35,184 --> 00:56:37,061 Okay, all right, all right. [whimpers] 1041 00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:40,856 It was a gang of no-namers looking for Romethean mind-control chips. 1042 00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:44,485 -Romethean chips? -[Seagull] Uh-huh, yep. [groans] 1043 00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:46,946 You don't think Sigma could be behind this, do you? 1044 00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:50,449 For the sake of this small-to-medium-sized metropolitan area, 1045 00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:52,284 I hope not. 1046 00:56:52,827 --> 00:56:54,620 Sir, they found this. 1047 00:56:57,540 --> 00:56:59,333 That-- That's the guy. 1048 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,460 He's like their secret weapon. 1049 00:57:01,544 --> 00:57:03,879 Took out my men like they were a flock of pigeons. 1050 00:57:05,673 --> 00:57:09,051 Huh. Right. I'm on it. 1051 00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:11,262 Uh, you need some backup? 1052 00:57:11,804 --> 00:57:14,473 Does this look like it needs backup? 1053 00:57:15,057 --> 00:57:15,891 -No. -No. 1054 00:57:15,975 --> 00:57:17,309 [Justice] I mean, look at me. 1055 00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:20,104 There's one thing you can do: Bring thirst... 1056 00:57:20,187 --> 00:57:22,148 -[all] To justice! -[both] To justice! 1057 00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:24,525 -[both] To justice! -[all] To justice! 1058 00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,026 Who wants some swag? 1059 00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:28,028 -[cop] Yeah! -There you go, Tom. 1060 00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:30,906 There you go, Turbo. 1061 00:57:30,990 --> 00:57:32,658 Hey. Yeah, sport. 1062 00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:34,243 -Yeah! Yeah! -[Justice] Oh, yeah. 1063 00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:37,830 All right. I'm out, fellas. 1064 00:57:38,581 --> 00:57:39,540 Later, skater. 1065 00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,333 -[slaps butt] -[yelps] 1066 00:57:41,417 --> 00:57:43,127 Oh, God. [groans] 1067 00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:44,795 Dang, he's, like, so cool. 1068 00:57:46,046 --> 00:57:47,381 -As for you... -[Seagull] Huh? 1069 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:49,175 -...you're going to county. -No, no! 1070 00:57:49,258 --> 00:57:51,051 -Shut up. -No, I can't go in a cage. 1071 00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:53,846 I'm a free bird. I'm a free bird! 1072 00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,977 Hi. I was wondering if you could help me make these. 1073 00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:17,745 For your troubles. 1074 00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:22,541 Please? 1075 00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,883 [rock beat playing] 1076 00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:39,934 [music stops] 1077 00:58:42,061 --> 00:58:43,103 Perfect. 1078 00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,814 And I think it goes without saying that if you tell anyone 1079 00:58:45,898 --> 00:58:49,193 about what happened here today, this will be you: 1080 00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:56,533 [paper tearing] 1081 00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:09,505 So I won't say it. 1082 00:59:14,677 --> 00:59:16,053 -[grunts] -I'm so sorry. 1083 00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:17,972 -Hmm. -Forgive me. 1084 00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,184 Ugh! I am a good shot. 1085 00:59:22,268 --> 00:59:23,978 That's why they call me Deadeye. 1086 00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,438 I thought that was because you were blind in one eye. 1087 00:59:26,522 --> 00:59:28,607 That's one of the reasons they call me Deadeye. 1088 00:59:28,691 --> 00:59:31,568 -[groaning] -Hey, hey, it's the man of the hour. 1089 00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:36,115 -Why am I wearing bowling shoes? -Because you saved us last night, brother. 1090 00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,241 What? 1091 00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:39,785 These guys were attacking us, and you were all: 1092 00:59:39,868 --> 00:59:41,954 [grunts, growls] 1093 00:59:42,037 --> 00:59:44,915 They were trying to kill us. It was awesome. 1094 00:59:44,999 --> 00:59:46,333 Trying to kill us? 1095 00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:49,628 Yes. Crime in this city has gotten out of control. 1096 00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:50,921 [door opens] 1097 00:59:51,005 --> 00:59:54,216 -Where's my phone? -I don't know. Did you eat it? 1098 00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:57,886 Here they are, hot off the... mail. 1099 00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:03,183 Oh, whoa. Hubba, hubba. 1100 01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:04,268 Okay, that's enough. 1101 01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:06,812 This check is written out to Benatrix? 1102 01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:09,857 Benatrix? Oh, dang it. That was one of the other prize recipients. 1103 01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:13,402 Guess this one's no good. Anyway, how are you feeling, buddy? 1104 01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:16,572 Good. Uh, actually, pretty sore. 1105 01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:19,116 Yeah, we kind of dropped you down the stairs last night 1106 01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:21,994 while you were in sleep mode, but no harm, no foul, right? 1107 01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,704 Shouldn't we resolve the check issue? 1108 01:00:23,787 --> 01:00:25,956 -I could call someone. -No, I'll take care of it. 1109 01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,335 Yeah. You don't have my social. It's best to just keep moving forward. 1110 01:00:29,418 --> 01:00:32,171 -No use waiting for spilled milk. -Exactly. 1111 01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:33,964 So, what now? 1112 01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:36,592 Uh, more tests 1113 01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:38,677 and try to fix the bugs? 1114 01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:40,262 Great. 1115 01:00:42,181 --> 01:00:44,475 Well, at least he isn't kissing the bread anymore. 1116 01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:47,061 -[Harold moaning] -Never mind. 1117 01:00:50,022 --> 01:00:52,316 -Ugh, ugh. -[coughs] 1118 01:00:53,317 --> 01:00:54,902 What base did I get to? 1119 01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:57,571 Experiment 233, failed. 1120 01:00:59,114 --> 01:01:00,616 Decrease affection. 1121 01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:01,742 What is the deal? 1122 01:01:01,825 --> 01:01:05,329 You said we only needed a few more tweaks, and we have been tweaking for days. 1123 01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:07,539 Well, mind control is not an exact science. 1124 01:01:07,623 --> 01:01:08,999 It's more of a social science. 1125 01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:11,627 Harold, maybe you shouldn't eat the test subject? 1126 01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,462 It's what it would have wanted. 1127 01:01:13,545 --> 01:01:16,465 You know, Mr. Megaman is expecting the Helpy Brace 1128 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,675 to be up and running by the time he gets back. 1129 01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:20,010 You mean Megadeath? 1130 01:01:20,094 --> 01:01:22,805 Yes. And he's coming back soon. 1131 01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:25,766 I mean, you don't wanna disappoint him, do you? 1132 01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:28,811 -No. -Well, we better get this fixed, then. 1133 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:32,648 Well, that's impossible until we get the updated wristbands back. 1134 01:01:33,982 --> 01:01:36,026 -The what? -The wristbands. 1135 01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:38,737 You know, the ones Mr. Megadeath has for his meeting. 1136 01:01:38,821 --> 01:01:41,240 -Were they in a black duffel bag? -Yeah. 1137 01:01:43,283 --> 01:01:44,993 So this was never gonna work? 1138 01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:46,537 Of course not. 1139 01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:49,081 Does this look like cutting-edge technology to you? 1140 01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:49,957 Yeah. 1141 01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:53,502 Why were we running all these tests, then? 1142 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:56,130 Honestly, I thought we were just trying to kill time. 1143 01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,214 [Cain] Wait! 1144 01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,174 I know where they are. 1145 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:01,677 [Beatrix] What? 1146 01:02:02,553 --> 01:02:04,179 I know where they are! 1147 01:02:06,557 --> 01:02:08,183 [engine stops] 1148 01:02:08,267 --> 01:02:09,393 Hello, Megadeath? 1149 01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,229 -What's that? Just go in? -Can I talk to him? 1150 01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:14,857 No. He's mad at you for not telling us about this before. 1151 01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:16,984 I'm mad at you for making me gain ten pounds. 1152 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:18,360 Okay, thanks. 1153 01:02:18,861 --> 01:02:19,695 He's ready for us. 1154 01:02:19,778 --> 01:02:21,697 Alex, you just stay here and watch the car. 1155 01:02:21,780 --> 01:02:23,532 -Tell him hi for me. -Okay. 1156 01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:29,788 [Cain whispering] Shouldn't we be doing this at night? 1157 01:02:29,872 --> 01:02:32,708 [Beatrix whispering] It's always crime o'clock somewhere, Cain. 1158 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:35,043 [man on TV] ...the energy it gives me to get through the day. 1159 01:02:35,127 --> 01:02:37,671 -[boy on TV] Give me my Justice Juice! -[man] Food is boring. 1160 01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:39,756 -[boy] I love Justice Juice. -[man] Justice Juice is fun. 1161 01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,468 -[boy] I gotta get that Justice Juice. -[man] It's what's in their veins. 1162 01:02:42,551 --> 01:02:43,927 Guys, the bag. The bag. 1163 01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:48,182 Hi, is this St. Peter's Medical? Do you happen to have any dead bodies 1164 01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,017 with the name of Alex, by chance? 1165 01:02:51,226 --> 01:02:52,394 Uh-huh. 1166 01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:53,937 [chips rustle] 1167 01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,063 Okay. 1168 01:02:58,192 --> 01:02:59,109 What'd he look like? 1169 01:03:00,027 --> 01:03:01,653 No, not that guy. No, someone else. 1170 01:03:01,737 --> 01:03:02,946 -[bottle crinkles] -Harold. 1171 01:03:05,824 --> 01:03:07,242 [whispering] I need to hydrate. 1172 01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:09,953 -It's coming on. -Hey, I gotta go. 1173 01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:16,251 [on TV] ♪ Find love through the sorrow ♪ 1174 01:03:16,335 --> 01:03:19,713 [melodramatic music playing on TV] 1175 01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,633 [man on TV] Whoa, boy. Whoa. 1176 01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:24,301 What? 1177 01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:25,844 Go. Go help him. 1178 01:03:25,928 --> 01:03:28,388 Well, I don't understand mime. Use your words. 1179 01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:30,641 -[shoes squeal] -[yelps] 1180 01:03:32,518 --> 01:03:34,353 [gunfire] 1181 01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:41,401 What's going on down here? 1182 01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:46,114 -[rock ballad playing] -♪ We found love ♪ 1183 01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:49,368 ♪ Young love ♪ 1184 01:03:51,787 --> 01:03:55,040 ♪ Yeah, I know that it sounds crazy ♪ 1185 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:58,502 ♪ But she had me from the start ♪ 1186 01:03:58,585 --> 01:04:01,088 ♪ We found heart ♪ 1187 01:04:02,464 --> 01:04:05,425 ♪ Two hearts ♪ 1188 01:04:05,968 --> 01:04:07,344 Turn that off. 1189 01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,222 Give me those. 1190 01:04:10,305 --> 01:04:15,102 Do you know how many wrongful deaths occur with home firearms? 1191 01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:17,479 Mrs. Megadeath, this was an accident. 1192 01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:18,855 You're an accident! 1193 01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:22,526 That's Megadeath's wife? Megadeath was like 36. 1194 01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:24,111 Yeah. So cool. 1195 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,280 [Mrs. Megadeath] I just bought that yesterday. 1196 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:30,867 Now I am hearing news about some nerd with a bracelet 1197 01:04:30,951 --> 01:04:33,245 that destroyed a bowling alley. 1198 01:04:33,870 --> 01:04:35,581 Ring any bells? 1199 01:04:35,664 --> 01:04:37,666 -Probably the intern. -You think? 1200 01:04:37,749 --> 01:04:40,794 In the meantime, you guys are just thinking 1201 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:45,465 he's gonna mosey on up to the front door. 1202 01:04:45,966 --> 01:04:46,967 Hello? 1203 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:49,636 Friends? 1204 01:04:50,137 --> 01:04:52,556 [Mrs. Megadeath] I am in my golden years, 1205 01:04:53,098 --> 01:04:58,395 but instead of grinding away on Peloton trainers, 1206 01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:03,609 I am stuck here with you two goofballs, micromanaging a kidnapping! 1207 01:05:03,692 --> 01:05:06,862 Alex, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be watching the car. 1208 01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:08,196 -I got bored. -Right. 1209 01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,823 Well, we're kind of in a meeting. 1210 01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:13,243 Well, also, I wanted to apologize 'cause I feel like I let you guys down. 1211 01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:14,369 Seriously, it's fine. 1212 01:05:14,453 --> 01:05:17,873 Please, I-- I know I'm not a great communicator. [clears throat] 1213 01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,168 Dear friends... 1214 01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:23,545 -[watch chimes] -Oh, great. 1215 01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:26,089 Now I'm late for Pilates. 1216 01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:29,843 Find him, or you two are fired. 1217 01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:31,720 And I mean that literally. 1218 01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:34,473 With a flamethrower! 1219 01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:36,058 [both] Sorry, Mrs. Megadeath. 1220 01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:39,728 And stop calling me Mrs. Megadeath. 1221 01:05:39,811 --> 01:05:40,771 [both] Sorry, Deb. 1222 01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:46,693 [door slams upstairs] 1223 01:05:46,777 --> 01:05:47,819 [scoffs] 1224 01:05:48,487 --> 01:05:51,698 Okay, I'm not gonna lie. That hurt. 1225 01:05:51,782 --> 01:05:52,866 Maybe... 1226 01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:57,037 Maybe we should leave, like off the grid. 1227 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,122 -You mean abandon our posts? -[hit man] Yeah. 1228 01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:03,460 -I mean, she doesn't appreciate us. -You know who appreciates us? Megadeath. 1229 01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:04,586 [hit man] I know. 1230 01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:07,005 -And I killed him. -You did. 1231 01:06:07,089 --> 01:06:09,675 That's gonna take a lot of sessions to work through. 1232 01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,261 You thinking what I'm thinking? 1233 01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:15,263 [both] Mutiny. 1234 01:06:15,639 --> 01:06:18,016 No, no, no. 1235 01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:20,435 No! 1236 01:06:21,061 --> 01:06:22,479 Heresy! 1237 01:06:22,562 --> 01:06:24,731 -[Cain] Harold, don't-- -Die! 1238 01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:25,982 Please don't. 1239 01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:29,277 "Ever since I got the internship with Megadeath, 1240 01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:31,238 life was finally turning around. 1241 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,989 But then you guys came into my life, 1242 01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:36,034 and you must be great because Mr. Megadeath trusts you guys. 1243 01:06:38,829 --> 01:06:42,457 In a great country such as this, the United States of America, 1244 01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:44,626 James Blunt really said it best. 1245 01:06:44,710 --> 01:06:46,002 [clears throat] 1246 01:06:46,086 --> 01:06:47,170 ♪ It's been lonely ♪ 1247 01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:50,507 ♪ Trying to get your attention From a thousand miles away ♪ 1248 01:06:53,301 --> 01:06:54,886 ♪ Yeah, we both know ♪ 1249 01:06:54,970 --> 01:06:58,181 ♪ In between you and me There's an ocean ♪ 1250 01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:00,100 But I digress. 1251 01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:01,143 Or do I? 1252 01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:07,399 Because you can never really digress an apology as long as it's sincere. 1253 01:07:07,482 --> 01:07:10,110 So in conclusion, I'm sorry. 1254 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:11,862 And God bless America." 1255 01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:15,031 ["American the Beautiful" playing on kazoo] 1256 01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:19,119 Can we talk about this later? 1257 01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:21,621 Yeah. I was just worried I drove everyone away. 1258 01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:23,290 [clangs] 1259 01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:27,461 -What was that? -Um, no. Uh, tell me more about that. 1260 01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,463 Well, I've never really had friends before. 1261 01:07:30,255 --> 01:07:33,633 And sometimes I feel like people are just trying to get away from me 1262 01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:36,428 because, you know, I'm weird. 1263 01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:37,971 No. You're not. 1264 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,390 No, seriously. Even my youth pastor told me. 1265 01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,018 Like as a joke, you think? 1266 01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:44,644 No, he was being for real. 1267 01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:47,105 Listen, everyone's a little weird. 1268 01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:49,941 You just have to find the weird people who accept you for you 1269 01:07:50,025 --> 01:07:51,109 and be your best self. 1270 01:07:51,193 --> 01:07:53,570 [Harold grunting] 1271 01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,947 Harold, it's me! 1272 01:07:57,157 --> 01:07:59,367 We need to go. We need to go. 1273 01:07:59,910 --> 01:08:01,077 That's how I can fit in? 1274 01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:04,122 [sighs] That's how you can be happy. 1275 01:08:04,206 --> 01:08:06,625 -And don't worry, you're still our friend. -Thanks. 1276 01:08:08,877 --> 01:08:09,878 Oh. 1277 01:08:14,883 --> 01:08:16,718 Hey, how was the meeting? 1278 01:08:18,678 --> 01:08:22,182 It was good. Well, it was a soft yes, so... 1279 01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:23,266 Not for me. 1280 01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:24,768 Dinner, anyone? 1281 01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:34,319 [over transmission] I've been thinking, we should keep Alex around. 1282 01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:35,737 You know, watch over him. 1283 01:08:35,821 --> 01:08:38,281 Behind every great villain is a great tech guy. 1284 01:08:38,365 --> 01:08:40,575 [over transmission] I think that's a great idea. 1285 01:08:40,659 --> 01:08:43,119 Do you think we should maybe tell him about Megadeath? 1286 01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,664 Maybe after we take over the world. 1287 01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:51,419 [Alex] Guess what. Free paper plates! 1288 01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:53,922 [all cheering, laughing] 1289 01:08:56,550 --> 01:08:59,219 [Beatrix] Those are mine. Give them to me! Give them to me! 1290 01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:00,971 [group chattering] 1291 01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:07,519 -[metal clangs] -[gasps] 1292 01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:09,312 -[intense music playing] -[grunts] 1293 01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:17,028 [yells] 1294 01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,413 What's going on? 1295 01:09:27,163 --> 01:09:28,206 It's ready. 1296 01:09:28,290 --> 01:09:29,791 What is? Breakfast? 1297 01:09:29,875 --> 01:09:31,001 No, the Helpy Brace. 1298 01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:34,212 Harold, make me a sandwich. 1299 01:09:37,007 --> 01:09:39,050 I made the adjustments last night. 1300 01:09:39,718 --> 01:09:40,552 Completed. 1301 01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:43,221 See? He made it even though I said "Make me a sandwich" 1302 01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:44,973 instead of "Make a sandwich for me." 1303 01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:48,018 -Yes! -He knew the difference! Grammar. 1304 01:09:48,894 --> 01:09:50,645 Here, ask him anything. 1305 01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,315 Harold, open the safe. 1306 01:10:03,450 --> 01:10:05,493 [in French accent] The door is open. 1307 01:10:05,577 --> 01:10:07,662 [Alex giggles] I added that last night too. 1308 01:10:07,746 --> 01:10:10,582 You can program him with five different accents. 1309 01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:11,750 Great job, Alex. 1310 01:10:15,670 --> 01:10:18,673 My friends, I bought us a new safe... 1311 01:10:22,052 --> 01:10:24,095 Did you guys break the door on my new safe? 1312 01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:26,723 Cain, I thought it was a communal safe. 1313 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:29,768 [exhales slowly] 1314 01:10:30,894 --> 01:10:33,021 You guys need to start buying your own things. 1315 01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:36,650 Break my safe once, shame on me. 1316 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,777 Break my safe twice... 1317 01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:41,821 -shame on me. -Shame on you. Yeah. 1318 01:10:41,905 --> 01:10:44,574 -When's that prize money coming? -[Beatrix] Soon. 1319 01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:46,284 -It better be. -[Beatrix] It's soon. 1320 01:10:46,368 --> 01:10:48,745 Better be soon. 'Cause I cannot keep this up. 1321 01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:52,374 I'm having to sell stuff that you wouldn't believe. 1322 01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:53,541 Sorry, Cain. 1323 01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:56,795 Now let's do crimes. 1324 01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:59,714 [techno-rock music playing] 1325 01:10:59,798 --> 01:11:01,675 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1326 01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:03,843 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1327 01:11:04,386 --> 01:11:08,390 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1328 01:11:23,113 --> 01:11:25,991 Hey, guys, do something funny. 1329 01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:38,003 ♪ Get with the kids Get with the kids ♪ 1330 01:11:38,086 --> 01:11:39,379 ♪ Kids are the best ♪ 1331 01:11:40,255 --> 01:11:41,715 ♪ Kids are the best... ♪ 1332 01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:42,799 [yells] 1333 01:11:43,842 --> 01:11:45,510 -[Beatrix] Whoa! -Sorry, B! 1334 01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:46,553 [Cain] Shoot it! 1335 01:11:48,555 --> 01:11:49,723 Harold, what did you think? 1336 01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:53,643 Well, an amazing treatise on how to achieve your goals 1337 01:11:53,727 --> 01:11:55,770 without dealing with abstract scruples. 1338 01:11:55,854 --> 01:11:58,648 Did you guys get how to pronounce his last name? 1339 01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,567 I couldn't figure out... 1340 01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,694 -"Machiavelli"? -[Beatrix] It's "Machiavelli." 1341 01:12:04,404 --> 01:12:05,280 ♪ Hey ♪ 1342 01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:09,409 ♪ Great strength ♪ 1343 01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:18,376 ♪ Get with the kids Get with the kids ♪ 1344 01:12:19,002 --> 01:12:21,046 [Beatrix] Take it. Ooh, I'll take it. 1345 01:12:21,129 --> 01:12:23,715 [all cheering] 1346 01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:27,302 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1347 01:12:27,802 --> 01:12:29,554 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1348 01:12:30,055 --> 01:12:31,806 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1349 01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:34,142 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1350 01:12:34,476 --> 01:12:36,311 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1351 01:12:36,936 --> 01:12:38,938 ♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪ 1352 01:12:41,775 --> 01:12:45,320 I'm also getting from this book that France might be a good place for us to go. 1353 01:12:45,403 --> 01:12:48,364 -[Alex] France? -Because they seem so easy to fool. 1354 01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:51,576 -Yes. Yes. -Yes. 1355 01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:52,535 Yes. 1356 01:13:03,379 --> 01:13:06,257 Hey, can you help me falsify some more documents? 1357 01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:07,717 [Sigma] Gladly. 1358 01:13:08,218 --> 01:13:09,886 [ghoulish music playing] 1359 01:13:09,969 --> 01:13:16,226 And, uh, how will you be paying for them? Cash? Credits? Romethean chips? 1360 01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:18,895 -How did you find me? -Find? 1361 01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:25,110 I've been watching you ever since you deserted, Danger Person 83617. 1362 01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:28,321 Or, should I say, Beatrix? 1363 01:13:29,739 --> 01:13:31,908 No, wait, that's-- I don't like that either. 1364 01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:34,619 You have been very busy with your little... 1365 01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:36,621 Helpy Brace, is it? 1366 01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:38,039 It's a working title. 1367 01:13:38,123 --> 01:13:39,541 Keep working on that. 1368 01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:43,002 -All right, let's do this. -No, no, no. I didn't come here to fight. 1369 01:13:43,086 --> 01:13:45,255 Right. You're here to destroy. Save it. 1370 01:13:45,338 --> 01:13:47,549 I came here to offer you a job. 1371 01:13:47,632 --> 01:13:48,925 Yeah, I got a job for you. 1372 01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,969 Here's your application. Here's your résumé. 1373 01:13:53,513 --> 01:13:55,557 You've got talent, Danger Person. 1374 01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,725 Now, I got to admit, I didn't see it at first, 1375 01:13:57,809 --> 01:14:00,562 but when I was observing you at that bowling alley, 1376 01:14:00,645 --> 01:14:02,856 and then at the mansion, and then all over town, 1377 01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:06,401 I realized you're exactly what I have been looking for. 1378 01:14:06,985 --> 01:14:08,361 A Justice Juice. 1379 01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:10,530 What? 1380 01:14:11,281 --> 01:14:15,326 -Justice Juice. Bring thirst to justice. -Yeah, I know it. I know it. 1381 01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:18,997 -Anyway, this is my company. -You aren't a villain? 1382 01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,915 I'm a businessman. 1383 01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:25,170 Any time one of our Justice Juice heroes beats a bad guy 1384 01:14:25,253 --> 01:14:29,174 or stops a building from catching on fire, anything heroic at all, 1385 01:14:29,257 --> 01:14:31,467 our sales skyrocket. 1386 01:14:31,551 --> 01:14:33,261 But at the same time, 1387 01:14:33,344 --> 01:14:36,598 the hero's success further angers the villain. 1388 01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:38,183 Who buy your power supplements. 1389 01:14:38,266 --> 01:14:40,894 Exactly. I'm playing them from both sides. 1390 01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,396 -I'm a genius. -So why me? 1391 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,772 I'm glad you asked. 1392 01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:48,818 Despite the zero calories and energy that lasts all day long, 1393 01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:51,112 the brand's never really been able to attract 1394 01:14:51,196 --> 01:14:54,866 the most coveted retail demographic of all: 1395 01:14:55,909 --> 01:14:56,743 women. 1396 01:14:57,660 --> 01:14:59,370 That is, until now. 1397 01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:03,333 Introducing Lady Justice Juice. 1398 01:15:05,293 --> 01:15:06,336 For her. 1399 01:15:06,419 --> 01:15:10,131 You would be Lady Justice, henchwoman gone hero. 1400 01:15:10,215 --> 01:15:14,719 Strong enough to inspire women, but not so strong as to scare off men. 1401 01:15:14,802 --> 01:15:16,554 -Ugh. -It's a thing. 1402 01:15:16,638 --> 01:15:19,724 And the best part about it is, because the can is pink, 1403 01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:21,184 we get to charge more. 1404 01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:23,478 The focus groups love this. 1405 01:15:23,561 --> 01:15:27,023 -So this isn't about the Helpy Brace? -No, absolutely not. 1406 01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:29,567 I mean, don't get me wrong, I still intend to take that 1407 01:15:29,651 --> 01:15:32,528 and sell it in my villains line of products. But think about it. 1408 01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:35,490 Who needs mind control when you've got marketing? 1409 01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,950 I appreciate the offer, 1410 01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:40,328 but I'm here to conquer the world, not quench its thirst. 1411 01:15:40,411 --> 01:15:45,124 Conquer the world. How is it again? With $1 billion? 1412 01:15:45,792 --> 01:15:46,918 Maybe. 1413 01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:48,670 Sweetheart, that number's a myth. 1414 01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:52,257 Trust me, not even with 20 billion could you even get close. 1415 01:15:52,340 --> 01:15:53,758 Ask Jeff Bezos. 1416 01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:55,134 You know him? 1417 01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:58,054 But this right here, this is real. 1418 01:15:58,137 --> 01:16:02,183 I know it's not your mayhem, destruction dream gig that you've always wanted, 1419 01:16:02,267 --> 01:16:04,435 but most jobs aren't. 1420 01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:06,521 What about my friends? 1421 01:16:07,730 --> 01:16:10,149 I've always felt it safer just to cut them loose. 1422 01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:13,361 Think about it. 1423 01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:18,658 But if I were you, I wouldn't take too long. 1424 01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:20,910 What do you mean? 1425 01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:25,498 It's not just the bad guys you should worry about. 1426 01:16:25,581 --> 01:16:28,584 [ghoulish music playing over club beat] 1427 01:16:30,378 --> 01:16:31,713 Captain Justice. 1428 01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:36,175 Harold, team meeting, ASAP. We need a-- Where are you? 1429 01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:37,302 -The arcade. -What? 1430 01:16:37,385 --> 01:16:39,762 Combat training. You want a pencil or a Tootsie Roll? 1431 01:16:39,846 --> 01:16:42,640 -Put Cain on the phone. -[Cain] You gonna come play Skee-Ball? 1432 01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:43,933 -No. Is Alex with you? -No. 1433 01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:46,311 -Where is he? -I don't know. The library? 1434 01:16:46,394 --> 01:16:50,064 -I'm not my brother's keeper. -Find him and get to HQ, quick. 1435 01:16:51,190 --> 01:16:52,567 [intense music playing] 1436 01:16:52,650 --> 01:16:53,735 Alex! 1437 01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:55,903 Alex! Alex! 1438 01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:57,989 [Justice] Well, hello there. 1439 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,742 I'm also looking for Alex. 1440 01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,621 -Don't know him. -Weren't you just yelling his name? 1441 01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,708 Mm, I don't think so. 1442 01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:10,960 [Harold & Cain from outside] Alex! 1443 01:17:11,044 --> 01:17:11,961 [Harold] Alex! 1444 01:17:12,879 --> 01:17:14,464 [Cain] Alex! 1445 01:17:16,382 --> 01:17:17,550 Alex? 1446 01:17:18,051 --> 01:17:21,304 -No. Sorry, we're... -[Harold] Alex! 1447 01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:25,391 [Cain] We're looking for a kid named Alex. Have you seen a kid named Alex? 1448 01:17:25,475 --> 01:17:28,811 I'm sorry, I'm looking for our friend named Alex. 1449 01:17:29,812 --> 01:17:31,939 -[Harold] Alex! -[Cain] Alex! 1450 01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:34,192 I can't find Al-- 1451 01:17:34,942 --> 01:17:35,902 [whirs] 1452 01:17:36,694 --> 01:17:38,946 -Hero? -Ah, a fan. 1453 01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,868 Anyway, I happen to have found his phone. 1454 01:17:43,951 --> 01:17:46,120 I was hoping to return it to him. 1455 01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,915 You couldn't give me his last known coordinates, could you? 1456 01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:51,292 Could you give us a minute? 1457 01:17:51,959 --> 01:17:53,002 [door slams] 1458 01:17:53,086 --> 01:17:56,214 -How did he track us here? -Probably our billing statements. 1459 01:17:56,297 --> 01:17:58,257 -What? -We joined a family plan. 1460 01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,301 We needed three people. You were at tryouts. 1461 01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:02,387 -Ugh. -Why don't we just call the League? 1462 01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:04,305 -No, they can't know anything. -Why not? 1463 01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:07,767 -Because I said so. -I say we interrogate him, lock him up, 1464 01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:10,520 shoot rubber bands right into his eyeballs. 1465 01:18:11,896 --> 01:18:13,648 Think about it, master. 1466 01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:17,985 You play your cards right, you've got your first nemesis. 1467 01:18:18,069 --> 01:18:19,862 This could be huge for you. 1468 01:18:19,946 --> 01:18:22,573 Okay, new plan. Go out there and tell him Alex is dead. 1469 01:18:22,657 --> 01:18:25,076 -But I'm bad at lying. -Tell him whatever you want. 1470 01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:28,329 Just don't mention secret plans or stealing or mind-control bracelets. 1471 01:18:28,413 --> 01:18:30,456 [Justice] Mind-control bracelets? 1472 01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:32,708 Using mind-control chips, perhaps? 1473 01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:34,335 How did you...? 1474 01:18:34,419 --> 01:18:37,380 [Justice] Super-hearing and a bit of common sense. 1475 01:18:37,463 --> 01:18:38,965 Oh, yeah? Then what am I saying? 1476 01:18:39,048 --> 01:18:39,966 [mouths words] 1477 01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:42,969 [Justice] You just asked what two plus two is. 1478 01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:44,512 Two plus two is four. 1479 01:18:47,265 --> 01:18:49,267 -He's good. -Yeah, I guess he can hear us. 1480 01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:51,519 Listen. 1481 01:18:51,602 --> 01:18:54,021 [suspenseful music playing] 1482 01:19:03,114 --> 01:19:04,657 Run out of hands? 1483 01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:07,243 [grunts] 1484 01:19:10,580 --> 01:19:11,747 Touché. 1485 01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:14,459 -Can you help me down? -I'm floating too. I can't. 1486 01:19:14,542 --> 01:19:17,253 -You help me, and then I'll help you. -Yeah, I'll do that. 1487 01:19:17,336 --> 01:19:20,214 Just a suggestion. I've never been in this situation before. 1488 01:19:20,298 --> 01:19:21,549 Yeah, me neither. 1489 01:19:22,049 --> 01:19:24,677 People are usually quieter before they die. 1490 01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,389 [Cain & Beatrix choking] 1491 01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:35,021 You're making a mistake. 1492 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:37,398 I don't make mistakes. 1493 01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,319 I make justice. 1494 01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:45,448 Hey. Make this. 1495 01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:52,830 Bummer. 1496 01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,589 [solemn music playing] 1497 01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:07,136 [automated voice on belt speaker] Warning: Hero down. Warning: Hero down. 1498 01:20:07,220 --> 01:20:10,431 It appears you have killed Captain Justice. 1499 01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:11,265 [coughing] 1500 01:20:11,349 --> 01:20:13,726 If you feel you have reached this recording in error, 1501 01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:15,478 please hang up and try again. 1502 01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:18,105 You eviscerated Captain Justice! 1503 01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,484 Do you think he's gonna be okay? 1504 01:20:22,026 --> 01:20:22,985 Probably not. 1505 01:20:23,069 --> 01:20:26,531 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 1506 01:20:26,614 --> 01:20:29,825 -Okay. Here you go. -No, you, get some starch. 1507 01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,246 You get a solidifier. We need to get him to a hospital. 1508 01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:36,165 Cain, come on. We gotta go, buddy. We gotta go. 1509 01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:39,961 [Alex] Sweet. 1510 01:20:40,545 --> 01:20:42,463 -I love green Jell-O. -No, no, no, no! 1511 01:20:42,547 --> 01:20:45,550 -No, don't eat that! Don't eat that! -[Cain] You just ate him. 1512 01:20:45,633 --> 01:20:47,802 -[Beatrix] Where have you been? -The library. 1513 01:20:49,971 --> 01:20:51,097 [Cain sobs] 1514 01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:52,431 Is this my phone? 1515 01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:54,267 [Harold] Hello, League of Evil? 1516 01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,686 Yeah, we just eviscerated a hero. 1517 01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:58,521 -No. No! -[Harold] What? 1518 01:20:59,981 --> 01:21:03,109 Master, what are you doing? We have to call the League. It's protocol. 1519 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,653 We are not protocolling anyone. We need to disappear. 1520 01:21:05,736 --> 01:21:08,030 No more contact with the League, with anyone. 1521 01:21:08,114 --> 01:21:10,199 -What about Mr. Megadeath? -He's dead. 1522 01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:14,078 -Dead? -Yeah, for a while. Now we need to go. 1523 01:21:14,161 --> 01:21:17,373 -[Harold] What about the prize money? -There is no prize money! 1524 01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:21,377 Okay? I never passed the tryouts. 1525 01:21:21,460 --> 01:21:23,462 You lied about being a villain? 1526 01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,632 Yes, but in my defense, you believed me. 1527 01:21:28,551 --> 01:21:31,178 -Why would you do this? -You lied to Alex. 1528 01:21:31,262 --> 01:21:34,307 -I shot a man for you. -Technically, he's an alien. 1529 01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:35,766 I thought we were friends. 1530 01:21:35,850 --> 01:21:38,769 We are friends. And now we're accomplices, which is even cooler. 1531 01:21:38,853 --> 01:21:39,937 But we gotta go. 1532 01:21:40,021 --> 01:21:42,940 The cops are on the way, and Sigma knows where we are. 1533 01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:46,611 -Who's Sigma? -He's the bast guy. Just trust me. 1534 01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:49,655 I'm sorry... 1535 01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:52,783 but I don't trust traitors. 1536 01:21:52,867 --> 01:21:56,871 Okay, fine. If you wanna get caught by the cops, that's fine by me. 1537 01:21:56,954 --> 01:21:58,497 Come on, guys. 1538 01:21:58,581 --> 01:21:59,498 [Harold] No. 1539 01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:03,002 There is no "we." 1540 01:22:05,129 --> 01:22:06,005 Alex? 1541 01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:16,265 Fine. If that's how it's gonna be, fine. 1542 01:22:16,974 --> 01:22:19,477 I was probably just gonna kill you all anyways. 1543 01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:23,230 [melancholy folk music playing] 1544 01:22:25,358 --> 01:22:30,196 ♪ Tell me, can you reach the highest ♪ 1545 01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:34,992 ♪ And never once misstep? ♪ 1546 01:22:36,786 --> 01:22:41,082 ♪ To fall down from the tallest peaks ♪ 1547 01:22:41,165 --> 01:22:46,629 ♪ Will leave you in the deepest depths ♪ 1548 01:22:48,214 --> 01:22:52,760 ♪ Well, nothing ever lasts forever ♪ 1549 01:22:53,552 --> 01:22:58,766 ♪ Yeah, with time It comes down in a blaze ♪ 1550 01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:04,397 ♪ The air we breathe is cold and empty ♪ 1551 01:23:05,398 --> 01:23:09,944 ♪ And yet it feeds the flames ♪ 1552 01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:15,324 ♪ Oh, does my armor sparkle ♪ 1553 01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:20,955 ♪ 'Cause it's rusting at the seams? ♪ 1554 01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:27,545 ♪ And do you see a life that's full? ♪ 1555 01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:28,838 [photographer] Good, good. 1556 01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:31,340 ♪ Because empty's all I'll ever be ♪ 1557 01:23:34,135 --> 01:23:36,512 ♪ Empty's all I'll ever be ♪ 1558 01:23:36,595 --> 01:23:37,972 -[can opens] -[slurping] 1559 01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:49,900 ♪ Hmm ♪ 1560 01:23:49,984 --> 01:23:51,986 [sobbing] 1561 01:23:56,866 --> 01:24:00,953 ♪ Well, does my armor sparkle ♪ 1562 01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:06,292 ♪ 'Cause it's rusting at the seams? ♪ 1563 01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:07,877 Oh, that's awful. 1564 01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,213 [reporter] Captain Justice has died. 1565 01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:13,841 If you'll join me in a moment of silence. 1566 01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:17,344 ♪ The world is always spinning... ♪ 1567 01:24:17,428 --> 01:24:19,096 [reporter] A word from our sponsors. 1568 01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:21,766 [announcer] This summer, your kids are only after one kind of juice. 1569 01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:25,227 -[alarm blaring] -[crowd screaming] 1570 01:24:25,311 --> 01:24:29,482 ♪ Is gravity a gift or a curse? ♪ 1571 01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:35,571 ♪ Without it, could this be erased? ♪ 1572 01:24:36,739 --> 01:24:41,243 ♪ Without it, could this be erased? 1573 01:24:41,327 --> 01:24:45,414 Look like the opposite of, uh, like you found a dead body. 1574 01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:47,958 Oh, that's incredible. 1575 01:24:49,919 --> 01:24:51,253 [sighs] 1576 01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:57,176 [man 1] I don't care how evil you are. 1577 01:24:57,259 --> 01:24:59,762 What they're doing in Flint, Michigan, just isn't right. 1578 01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:02,223 [man 2] I don't know. They're just following orders. 1579 01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:04,892 [man 1] So, what are you doing this weekend? 1580 01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:08,395 [man 2] Oh, I'm at the plant, finishing up a cyborg experiment. 1581 01:25:08,479 --> 01:25:10,856 Something called the Helpy Brace. 1582 01:25:10,940 --> 01:25:11,899 Helpy Brace? 1583 01:25:12,525 --> 01:25:13,901 That's a terrible name. 1584 01:25:14,485 --> 01:25:15,528 [whispering] Thank you. 1585 01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:18,197 [man 2] Yeah, the nerd who made it is the test subject. 1586 01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:20,324 Boss wants to make a supervillain 1587 01:25:20,407 --> 01:25:23,369 that he can control with a remote control or something. 1588 01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:26,247 -Alex. -Honestly, it sounds like somebody just 1589 01:25:26,330 --> 01:25:29,500 wants to test out their new brain drill, if you ask me. 1590 01:25:30,167 --> 01:25:31,126 [water splashes] 1591 01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,923 [man 2] Someone in there? 1592 01:25:37,091 --> 01:25:40,386 [in husky voice] Yeah, sorry. I'm just on the Justice Juice cleanse. 1593 01:25:40,469 --> 01:25:43,180 [boot clunking, water splashing] 1594 01:25:56,026 --> 01:25:57,069 Hail Sigma. 1595 01:25:57,152 --> 01:25:58,237 [both] Hail Sigma. 1596 01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:00,197 -[pee trickles] -Oh. Damn it. 1597 01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,325 Gotta get a paper towel. 1598 01:26:04,869 --> 01:26:07,496 -[man 2] Gonna wash your hands? -[man 1] No, I'm bad. 1599 01:26:07,580 --> 01:26:09,290 [whispering] Crap. 1600 01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:11,333 Crap. 1601 01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:16,130 [photographer] Ah, Lady Justice. Uh, just in time. 1602 01:26:16,213 --> 01:26:18,340 Okay, we're gonna go ahead and do profiles now. 1603 01:26:18,424 --> 01:26:21,635 So if you wanted to take this and just step over... 1604 01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:24,513 We're-- We're gonna go ahead and, uh-- 1605 01:26:24,597 --> 01:26:27,224 We're gonna go ahead and take a ten-minute break, everyone. 1606 01:26:27,308 --> 01:26:29,310 Ten-minute break? Sound-- Sound good? 1607 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:32,521 Yeah, let's-- Yeah, let's-- Let's do that. 1608 01:26:34,064 --> 01:26:37,610 Now, this next test is kind of a treat, if you're a dog. 1609 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:38,861 [laughs wheezily] 1610 01:26:39,612 --> 01:26:43,073 So we want you to rate the taste of poison on a scale of 1 to 10, 1611 01:26:43,157 --> 01:26:45,492 as well as how much it tastes like a dog biscuit. 1612 01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,996 And it's worth repeating, don't ingest. 1613 01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:50,456 It is still poison. 1614 01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,758 [Harold gags] 1615 01:27:04,762 --> 01:27:07,932 -On the plus side, your coat is shinier. -Oh, yeah? 1616 01:27:08,015 --> 01:27:09,516 -Yeah. -I agree. 1617 01:27:11,018 --> 01:27:11,936 You. 1618 01:27:13,979 --> 01:27:16,482 [Harold vomiting] 1619 01:27:17,358 --> 01:27:20,819 What are you doing here? Trying to get your betrayal quota up? 1620 01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:21,946 I came to talk. 1621 01:27:22,029 --> 01:27:23,739 Yeah, well, you're wasting your time. 1622 01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:25,866 I need your help. Alex is in trouble. 1623 01:27:26,533 --> 01:27:27,368 Who? 1624 01:27:28,619 --> 01:27:29,536 The intern. 1625 01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:36,335 -Who came up with the Helpy Brace. -His name is Alex? 1626 01:27:36,418 --> 01:27:38,128 -Yes. -[Harold] I thought he was dead. 1627 01:27:38,212 --> 01:27:41,590 Sigma is going to turn him into a cyborg unless we stop him. 1628 01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:44,677 Sorry, B. No can do. 1629 01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:48,013 Oh, come on. What do you mean? There's plenty of do that can. 1630 01:27:48,097 --> 01:27:49,932 Not with-- [seethes] 1631 01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:51,767 Not with us. 1632 01:27:52,977 --> 01:27:53,978 Not with you. 1633 01:27:54,061 --> 01:27:56,480 I know I messed up, okay? And I'm sorry. 1634 01:27:56,563 --> 01:27:58,148 [Cain] Sorry doesn't cut it. 1635 01:27:58,232 --> 01:28:01,402 You lied and you cheated, all for your own personal gain. 1636 01:28:01,485 --> 01:28:03,862 Which is pretty cool for a villain... 1637 01:28:03,946 --> 01:28:05,739 But not a friend. 1638 01:28:06,865 --> 01:28:10,953 So if you'll excuse us, we have some poison to test. 1639 01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,081 You're right. 1640 01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:17,626 I know. Okay? You're right. And I understand. 1641 01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:22,131 I tried to be something I wasn't, and I lost what matters most. 1642 01:28:22,214 --> 01:28:24,633 [sentimental music playing] 1643 01:28:26,927 --> 01:28:27,761 What? 1644 01:28:29,847 --> 01:28:31,640 You. My friends. 1645 01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:34,435 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah, she was talking about us. 1646 01:28:34,518 --> 01:28:35,978 In case I don't make it... 1647 01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,361 Wait. 1648 01:28:46,697 --> 01:28:47,698 Is that my hat? 1649 01:28:48,615 --> 01:28:50,868 -No, it's my hat. -All right. 1650 01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:55,622 Wait. 1651 01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:58,083 [sighs] 1652 01:28:58,167 --> 01:28:59,251 We'll help. 1653 01:29:02,296 --> 01:29:05,299 But we reserve the right to stab you in the back at any moment. 1654 01:29:05,382 --> 01:29:06,216 Deal. 1655 01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:08,886 So, what's the plan? 1656 01:29:10,679 --> 01:29:11,889 I have an idea. 1657 01:29:11,972 --> 01:29:13,974 [high-energy music playing] 1658 01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:24,735 It's almost ready, sir. 1659 01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:26,278 [squawks] 1660 01:29:26,361 --> 01:29:28,072 I hope you like death. 1661 01:29:28,155 --> 01:29:29,865 -[Sigma] I love it. -[squawks] 1662 01:29:30,783 --> 01:29:31,992 [Sigma] So, Alex, 1663 01:29:32,076 --> 01:29:36,121 the bad news is we're gonna have to saw your head open to put the bracelet in. 1664 01:29:36,205 --> 01:29:40,042 But the good news is I found... some ibuprofen. 1665 01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:42,920 -It'll help with the pain. -Can I have, like, three? 1666 01:29:43,003 --> 01:29:44,338 Well, it recommends only two, 1667 01:29:44,421 --> 01:29:46,590 so I think we should stick with that for safety. 1668 01:29:46,673 --> 01:29:48,050 But I got really thick blood. 1669 01:29:48,133 --> 01:29:51,303 I'll be the judge of that. But I'll tell you what. 1670 01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:53,889 I'm gonna let you hang on to them until you're ready. 1671 01:29:54,932 --> 01:29:56,266 Sir, you have a phone call. 1672 01:29:56,350 --> 01:29:58,185 -I'm busy. -It's Joseph Stalin's clone. 1673 01:29:58,268 --> 01:30:00,229 He's degenerating very rapidly. 1674 01:30:00,312 --> 01:30:01,522 [sighs] 1675 01:30:02,356 --> 01:30:04,858 I'll be back in five. Prepare the patient. 1676 01:30:04,942 --> 01:30:06,944 [grunting] 1677 01:30:07,528 --> 01:30:09,446 Can I go to the bathroom before we do this? 1678 01:30:09,530 --> 01:30:10,948 I drank too much Justice Juice. 1679 01:30:11,031 --> 01:30:13,242 You can pee once I get you out of here. 1680 01:30:13,325 --> 01:30:14,868 -You! -Shh! 1681 01:30:14,952 --> 01:30:16,912 Hello, Stalin's clone. 1682 01:30:16,995 --> 01:30:19,123 [in Russian accent] Ah! This is Stalin. 1683 01:30:19,206 --> 01:30:21,375 Just real quick, which one of you am I talking to? 1684 01:30:21,458 --> 01:30:22,876 It's, uh... 1685 01:30:24,336 --> 01:30:26,130 I am Number 5. 1686 01:30:26,213 --> 01:30:28,298 I thought I told you guys not to go past three. 1687 01:30:28,382 --> 01:30:31,969 Ugh. This is a disgrace. 1688 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,470 Motherland angry. 1689 01:30:33,554 --> 01:30:34,513 KGB. 1690 01:30:34,596 --> 01:30:36,723 Well, you're definitely Stalin. 1691 01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:38,225 -No! -Shut up. 1692 01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:39,601 I don't want to. 1693 01:30:39,685 --> 01:30:42,688 There are obviously still a lot of raw emotions happening. 1694 01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:44,523 You lied to me and used me. 1695 01:30:44,606 --> 01:30:48,068 Technically, Cain lied to you, and I lied to Cain and Harold. 1696 01:30:49,486 --> 01:30:50,904 Hey! Oh! 1697 01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:54,908 Listen, I'm sorry. You're right. But it would be a lot better 1698 01:30:54,992 --> 01:30:58,078 if we could talk about this after I get you out of the death machine. 1699 01:30:59,830 --> 01:31:02,124 -Fine. -Where is the Helpy Brace? 1700 01:31:02,207 --> 01:31:04,543 Sigma has it. He put it in his jacket pocket. 1701 01:31:04,626 --> 01:31:06,962 Did you know there's dynamite on this chair? 1702 01:31:07,296 --> 01:31:09,006 -No. -Yeah, it's a lot of dynamite. 1703 01:31:10,132 --> 01:31:11,049 -It's like ten. -Oh! 1704 01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:12,426 Lady Justice? 1705 01:31:12,509 --> 01:31:14,970 Why aren't you doing your Lady Justice podcast? 1706 01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,724 And why are you trying to untie my test subject? 1707 01:31:18,807 --> 01:31:20,684 This test subject is my friend. 1708 01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:23,437 -You have no right. -Actually, under your contract, 1709 01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:25,522 I'm allowed to try any experimental procedure 1710 01:31:25,606 --> 01:31:27,816 on any of your friends. 1711 01:31:29,234 --> 01:31:30,611 These stupid contracts! 1712 01:31:31,195 --> 01:31:33,697 That's where you're wrong, buddy. I'm not gonna let you. 1713 01:31:33,780 --> 01:31:35,616 Lady J, come on. I mean, this is silly. 1714 01:31:35,699 --> 01:31:37,492 Hey, think of the sales. 1715 01:31:37,576 --> 01:31:39,244 -No! -[Sigma] Fine. 1716 01:31:39,328 --> 01:31:41,079 I've done everything I could. 1717 01:31:42,915 --> 01:31:44,208 You're expendable. 1718 01:31:44,708 --> 01:31:45,542 Sorry, Alex. 1719 01:31:48,503 --> 01:31:49,588 [rock music playing] 1720 01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:53,300 Give me back my dead ex-husband's intern! 1721 01:31:55,052 --> 01:31:59,097 Boys, let's nail these suckers! 1722 01:31:59,181 --> 01:32:01,600 [all shouting] 1723 01:32:26,333 --> 01:32:29,711 -What's happening? -Megadeath's ex got an anonymous tip. 1724 01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:33,924 I guess the early bird does get the worm. 1725 01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:36,802 [laughing] 1726 01:32:38,637 --> 01:32:40,764 [laughing maniacally] 1727 01:32:40,847 --> 01:32:41,723 [screams] 1728 01:32:42,516 --> 01:32:44,935 [Seagull choking, screaming] 1729 01:33:04,705 --> 01:33:07,165 -[rock ballad playing] -♪ We found love ♪ 1730 01:33:08,542 --> 01:33:10,836 ♪ Young love... ♪ 1731 01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:14,339 Nice gun. 1732 01:33:14,923 --> 01:33:16,216 Who are you? 1733 01:33:16,300 --> 01:33:17,384 I'm Harold. 1734 01:33:19,261 --> 01:33:20,679 Do you come here often? 1735 01:33:22,848 --> 01:33:24,266 [Beatrix whimpers] 1736 01:33:24,349 --> 01:33:26,643 [automated voice] Self-destruct sequence activated. 1737 01:33:26,727 --> 01:33:27,769 No! Uh... 1738 01:33:27,853 --> 01:33:30,105 -Thank you for choosing Sigma. -Double no. 1739 01:33:30,188 --> 01:33:31,523 Have you tried kicking it? 1740 01:33:32,065 --> 01:33:33,942 -[Beatrix yells] -[Cain] Stop touching it! 1741 01:33:34,026 --> 01:33:37,321 -[door opens] -Oh, no. We got company. 1742 01:33:37,404 --> 01:33:40,157 [suspenseful music playing] 1743 01:33:40,866 --> 01:33:41,825 I got this. 1744 01:33:42,868 --> 01:33:43,952 Okay, hold on. 1745 01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:48,457 What if, instead of fighting, we join forces? 1746 01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:51,793 [pencil pierces flesh] 1747 01:33:51,877 --> 01:33:53,503 [yells] 1748 01:33:53,587 --> 01:33:55,589 You could have just said no! 1749 01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:04,723 Harold! 1750 01:34:05,766 --> 01:34:07,059 Whoa. Close one. 1751 01:34:07,142 --> 01:34:08,643 Although... 1752 01:34:08,727 --> 01:34:11,605 I've never been afraid of getting too close. 1753 01:34:11,688 --> 01:34:14,107 Meet me at Denny's tonight. 1754 01:34:14,191 --> 01:34:15,567 [Beatrix] Harold! 1755 01:34:16,276 --> 01:34:17,319 Harold! 1756 01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:19,446 Eight o'clock. 1757 01:34:20,489 --> 01:34:22,491 Please, Cousin Bomb, defuse. 1758 01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:23,575 [Beatrix] Harold! 1759 01:34:27,621 --> 01:34:28,580 [growls] 1760 01:34:35,796 --> 01:34:37,005 [Harold] What? 1761 01:34:42,052 --> 01:34:44,012 [intense music playing] 1762 01:34:45,597 --> 01:34:47,474 -Oh! -I knew it! 1763 01:34:53,563 --> 01:34:54,815 [screams] 1764 01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:20,674 [music fades] 1765 01:35:50,912 --> 01:35:52,956 -[groaning] -[Cain] Harold! Hold on, buddy. 1766 01:35:53,415 --> 01:35:54,249 We got you. 1767 01:35:54,374 --> 01:35:56,293 -[Beatrix] Are you okay? -No. 1768 01:35:57,127 --> 01:35:58,420 Makes sense. 1769 01:35:59,546 --> 01:36:01,548 [Harold whimpering] 1770 01:36:04,801 --> 01:36:06,511 [ghoulish music playing] 1771 01:36:06,595 --> 01:36:07,971 You, drop the bottle. 1772 01:36:08,555 --> 01:36:10,223 You, stop crying. 1773 01:36:10,307 --> 01:36:12,684 Absolutely, and may I say, big fan. 1774 01:36:12,767 --> 01:36:13,894 Also stop talking. 1775 01:36:15,395 --> 01:36:17,147 Would you look at this mess? 1776 01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:20,859 And to think I was gonna give you employee of the month. 1777 01:36:20,942 --> 01:36:22,444 I'm not your employee. 1778 01:36:22,527 --> 01:36:24,237 But I am gonna take care of business. 1779 01:36:24,321 --> 01:36:26,490 How are you planning on doing that? 1780 01:36:26,573 --> 01:36:29,659 You know, just a little element I like to call... 1781 01:36:29,743 --> 01:36:31,036 surprise! 1782 01:36:37,334 --> 01:36:40,795 -[kicking] -[Harold & Cain wincing] 1783 01:36:49,429 --> 01:36:51,473 Is that a side effect from the Justice Juice? 1784 01:36:52,599 --> 01:36:54,059 What's gonna happen to me? 1785 01:36:55,393 --> 01:36:57,687 -A-tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle-- -Stop it! 1786 01:36:57,771 --> 01:36:59,105 [intense music playing] 1787 01:36:59,189 --> 01:37:03,527 Here's a little surprise for you. No one in the world can stop me. 1788 01:37:04,152 --> 01:37:05,195 Especially not 1789 01:37:05,278 --> 01:37:08,573 a wannabe bad guy like you. 1790 01:37:09,157 --> 01:37:10,951 There is one person. 1791 01:37:11,743 --> 01:37:13,703 Oh, yeah? Who? 1792 01:37:14,329 --> 01:37:15,288 You. 1793 01:37:18,375 --> 01:37:19,251 Force quit. 1794 01:37:26,925 --> 01:37:27,968 Lady Justice. 1795 01:37:29,344 --> 01:37:30,637 [Harold yells] 1796 01:37:32,472 --> 01:37:33,723 [Cain laughs] 1797 01:37:33,807 --> 01:37:36,017 [stirring music playing] 1798 01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:37,978 I did it! 1799 01:37:38,562 --> 01:37:40,397 -Sleight of hand! -Ah! 1800 01:37:40,480 --> 01:37:42,399 I didn't see it. Can you do it again? 1801 01:37:42,482 --> 01:37:43,942 -He's dead. -Oh. 1802 01:37:44,025 --> 01:37:45,902 Well, yeah, I saw that part. 1803 01:37:45,986 --> 01:37:47,195 Do it to me. 1804 01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:49,739 -You want me to kill you? -No, just sleight-of-hand me. 1805 01:37:49,823 --> 01:37:52,534 -[detective] Everybody freeze! -[suspenseful music playing] 1806 01:37:52,617 --> 01:37:54,160 Put your hands up. 1807 01:37:56,538 --> 01:37:57,581 That's the one. There. 1808 01:37:59,457 --> 01:38:02,085 You're under arrest for the murder of Captain Justice. 1809 01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,045 -[Alex, Beatrix & Cain] What? -Yeah! 1810 01:38:04,129 --> 01:38:06,798 Belt-cam took these photos after Cap's death. 1811 01:38:06,881 --> 01:38:08,633 You ate him, you sick freak. 1812 01:38:08,717 --> 01:38:11,219 That is a huge misunderstanding. 1813 01:38:11,303 --> 01:38:14,097 -Let's get him out of here. -Wait! 1814 01:38:14,931 --> 01:38:19,311 It was them! Please! Are you serious? Aren't you guys gonna help at all? 1815 01:38:19,394 --> 01:38:21,438 Do you think we should tell them it was us? 1816 01:38:21,521 --> 01:38:22,814 -Stop resisting. -I'm not! 1817 01:38:22,897 --> 01:38:24,691 [screaming] 1818 01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:26,651 We'll break him out in a month. 1819 01:38:26,735 --> 01:38:28,945 A month will be really good for him. 1820 01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:30,071 Way to go, kid. 1821 01:38:30,155 --> 01:38:32,824 [screams, then groans] 1822 01:38:32,907 --> 01:38:35,285 [Alex screaming] 1823 01:38:35,368 --> 01:38:36,620 [Alex] Oh, God! 1824 01:38:37,203 --> 01:38:38,413 Help! 1825 01:38:38,496 --> 01:38:40,999 [Alex screaming] 1826 01:38:41,916 --> 01:38:43,084 Friends? 1827 01:38:43,752 --> 01:38:44,794 Friends. 1828 01:38:45,295 --> 01:38:46,463 [winces] 1829 01:38:46,546 --> 01:38:47,672 Friends. 1830 01:38:47,756 --> 01:38:49,257 [gentle, whimsical music playing] 1831 01:38:49,341 --> 01:38:51,134 I feel like there's a pen in my spleen. 1832 01:38:51,217 --> 01:38:52,719 Oh. Let's get you to a hospital. 1833 01:38:52,802 --> 01:38:54,596 -Appreciate it. -[Beatrix] Okay. Okay. 1834 01:38:55,472 --> 01:38:57,265 [Harold] Ow. Ow. 1835 01:38:57,349 --> 01:39:00,727 You know, except for the incredible pain, I feel pretty good. 1836 01:39:00,810 --> 01:39:03,271 -It went better than I thought it would. -Yeah. 1837 01:39:18,119 --> 01:39:20,413 [Harold] Did you guys get anything stuck in you? 1838 01:39:20,497 --> 01:39:22,207 -[Cain] Um... -[Beatrix] I did. I did. 1839 01:39:22,290 --> 01:39:24,292 I got a pencil stuck in my hand for a second. 1840 01:39:24,376 --> 01:39:27,170 -[Cain] Oh, that's gotta hurt. -[Beatrix] And I pulled it out. 1841 01:39:27,253 --> 01:39:28,838 [upbeat rock music playing] 1842 01:39:42,227 --> 01:39:43,436 [music stops] 1843 01:39:52,737 --> 01:39:54,280 [crashing] 1844 01:39:54,364 --> 01:39:56,574 [crowd shouting angrily] 1845 01:40:00,203 --> 01:40:02,414 [upbeat rock music playing] 1846 01:40:25,603 --> 01:40:27,397 [radio stations tuning] 1847 01:40:27,480 --> 01:40:29,899 [funky rock music playing] 1848 01:41:21,701 --> 01:41:25,163 -[man] Thank you for tuning in to 98.3. -This is Adele. 1849 01:41:25,246 --> 01:41:26,539 -Nick Lachey. -Avril Lavigne. 1850 01:41:26,623 --> 01:41:28,792 [man] Only the greatest hits from today... 1851 01:41:28,875 --> 01:41:30,084 -[boinging] -...tomorrow... 1852 01:41:30,168 --> 01:41:32,420 -[air horns blare] -...and last year. 1853 01:41:32,504 --> 01:41:35,507 [country-folk music playing]