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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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- I learned
so much about myself,

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so much about what I wanted
and who I wanted to be.

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That is the best
part of dancing.

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You just feel so powerful
and it is empowering.

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- I am all work mode.

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As soon as I hit that
building, it's all work mode.

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I'm not Yasmine anymore,
I'm Ruby, and Ruby,

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she's whatever she needs
to be to get the bag

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at the end of the day.

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- I would say
that I'm the default

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when you think of a stripper,

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I feel like I'm everyone's type.

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I started making
so much more money

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when I stopped putting
pressure on myself.

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I try not to care about
how much I make in a night,

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but $5,000, that's
a great night.

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- When I dancing
up on the pole in the air,

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doing anything, I'm
really just within myself,

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within my body.

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I could forget about
everything else

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that's going on in the world.

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- Pole dancing
is definitely an art.

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I'm really an entertainer.

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I go in with the mindset
that I just want to entertain

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from women to men.

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Ultimately, I'm trying to
sell a fantasy at work.

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Being able to walk into a
place and leave with $10,000

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within five to eight hours,

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only in this type of
business does that happen.

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- Now
that we're in a pandemic

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and get to find extra
areas of revenue,

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and one of my forms of revenue
is filming content at home.

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So, I got to bring
the club home with me,

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which was fucking awesome.

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'Cause then I'm in
control of everything.

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- Vegas is a city, of course,

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but I wouldn't even
call it a metropolis,

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I would call it a fantasy land
in the middle of the desert.

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There's something about the
feeling you get in the city

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where everything is
larger than life,

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it's covered in lights,
everything is the
biggest, the best.

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The whole city of
Vegas is designed

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around entertainment,
and strippers

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are part of that entertainment.

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There's around 20,000
strippers that live in Vegas,

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and that's insane, that's
larger than some cities.

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20,000 strippers.

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- I am born and raised

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in Las Vegas, Nevada.

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It's really not
all glitz and glam.

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People are still dying
on our streets every day,

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just like anywhere else.

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Growing up, my mom
worked two to three jobs

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at all times to support
me and my brothers.

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So I just had a sense of
responsibility instilled

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in me from a young age.

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I kept myself occupied by
taking AP and honors classes.

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I did whatever sport I could do.

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I participated in clubs, on
top of being a part of sports.

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I did get scholarships, over
$76,000 worth of scholarships,

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over three schools.

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- Growing up, my dad did a
lot of show business work.

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He also was in the circus
for much of my life.

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Growing up, my dad was
in a unicycle troupe

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called The King Charles Troupe.

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It consisted of all my
uncles, they rode unicycles.

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My early memories of
my dad were very good.

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We grew up around
some exciting stuff,

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some stuff that most kids
don't ever get to see.

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It trickled down to all
of his kids as well.

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So, we all know how
to ride the unicycle.

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- By the time I
could remember it,

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I think maybe I
was three or four.

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Modeling was always something

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that was already there.

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My mom had me in
baby modeling things,

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and I just remember
taking pictures.

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We would have little
mini photo shoots outside

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and take pictures, I would
dance around the living room,

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get dressed up in all
of her scarves and hats.

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Every kid wants to fit in.

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I don't think
there's a single kid

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that doesn't wanna fit in.

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I wasn't the popular
kid, I was kinda shy.

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Certain people wouldn't
hang out with me

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because I wasn't hood enough.

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And then certain people
wouldn't hang out with me

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because I was of color.

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So I kinda just stayed
focused on my world,

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and my artistic world,
and my creative world.

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And that worked for me.

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- My teenage years

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were really rough, I was
on my own most of the time.

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Middle school hit, and I had
just gotten out of foster care.

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I kinda grew up in the hood
to where I got beat up a lot.

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I had to learn how
to fight on my own.

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Fighting for myself physically,

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but also mentally
fighting for myself.

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I was really depressed, I was
really socially just confused.

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Give it to me.
- Get up.

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- That's it,
come on, get up.

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- I just wanted to be
wanted by somebody.

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I just didn't know how to be me.

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- I actually used to
joke when I was younger

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that I would make a bomb ass
stripper, and I am .

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I had a really good childhood.

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My parents put me into
dance, did ballet,

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contemporary, tap,
jazz, hip hop.

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00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:13,405
When I was seven, I got onto
the dance company at my studio.

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When I got into high school,

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I was on the dance
company there.

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I traveled, I competed and
performed everywhere I could.

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- I actually learned how to swim

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before I learned how to walk.

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I was one of the best swimmers
in my town, in my county.

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And so, it made me
feel really important.

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It made me feel like it could
be a way out of the life

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that I was living at home.

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And so, I had it in my mind
from a really young age

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that this is something that
could take me to college

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or this is something that
could really help me in life.

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And I liked feeling like
I was good at something.

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But I wound up getting
a full ride scholarship

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to UC Santa Cruz.

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I was the first person on
my mom's side of my family

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that went to college.

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And so, there was a
pressure to graduate.

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- My sister, Angel, inspired
me a lot when she took me

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to my first bachelor party.

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I think I was 16 and it was
crazy, it was fun, it was lit.

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My sister had been a
dancer for a while.

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She started dancing
when she turned 18.

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She's the one who really
opened up that world for me.

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I was just so inspired,
she did so amazing.

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She was so good at the pole.

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And my biggest dream was
to learn pole tricks.

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That's when it all started.

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And I knew at that time,
okay, when I'm of age,

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this is what I'm gonna
do, I'm gonna find a club.

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I'm gonna go dance one day.

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One day, I said,
"Okay, let's do it."

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I bought my ticket,
I left my mom.

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I left all that bullshit behind,

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and went to Vegas,
and never looked back.

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- So, when I started dancing,

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it brought back that
feeling of competition,

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you're competing for money
and praise on the tip rail.

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And it made me feel alive again.

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It brings you that feeling

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like you're about to go do
a gymnastics competition

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and there's a stadium
full of people watching,

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and you have to perform.

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Literally, the second they
called my name on stage,

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it was go time.

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- Miss
September Reign.

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- When I was 18,

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when I first started
thinking about dancing,

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I was with my daughter's
dad at the time.

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And I asked him,
"What should I do?"

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He got me a pole.

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And we put it up in
our one bedroom weekly.

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And I practiced and practiced
and practiced for weeks,

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for months before I was
able to build the courage

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to go into my first club.

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So by the time I went
into my first club,

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I already knew what I was doing.

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And it's because I thought
that that's how it was,

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that everybody knew
what they were doing,

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and boy, was I wrong.

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- I didn't know pole tricks,
I didn't know anything.

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I just knew that I
knew how to dance

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and I was going to
make it .

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My first night
dancing, I made $200

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and I was doped,
I was so excited.

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- When I first started

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making money, it was coming
really quick because,

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like I said, I knew how
to pole dance already.

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And that was my thing.

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I realized very quickly that
my body talks to my customers.

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I learned that that
was my moneymaker.

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The money was flying, it
was coming in really quick.

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My first $1,000 I think I made
on my second or third night.

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So, I knew I was just
destined for Vegas.

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- I was in five AP classes my
senior year of high school,

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and the AP tests were expensive,

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and I needed to get a
job to pay for them.

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So I started dancing

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when I was 17 at
a bar in my town.

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They asked me if I
was 18, I said, yes,

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they didn't check ID, so
it wound up working out.

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00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:50,090
And it opened me up to a lot
of experiences performing

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that I probably wouldn't
have gotten otherwise.

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I was spitting fire,
I was dancing on bars.

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I was learning the
basics of pole dancing.

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My second year of college,

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00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:09,761
I started dancing at
a very small club.

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00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,853
It was a pretty tight
knit group of girls.

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00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,464
It was the first time I
had a group of girlfriends

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that I really could
be myself with.

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00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:26,691
- As far as the girls

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00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:30,304
in the strip club, don't
trust those bitches,

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00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:32,436
do not trust those bitches.

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00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,091
I'm not your friend,
she's not your friend.

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00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,093
We're all here for one reason,

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00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:41,010
one reason only, it's
crabs in a bucket.

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00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:45,536
Bitches are sneaky.

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00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,677
It wasn't too hard to transition

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00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:59,463
from my cheer dance
background to stripping.

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00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:02,205
If anything, it made it easier.

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00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:03,772
I was already flexible,

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00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,383
I had already knew
how to hold my weight,

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00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,950
and I was already strong,

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00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:11,519
so climbing the pole
was extremely easy.

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00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,872
I've been stripping ever since.

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00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,572
- Growing up having
this love for dance,

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00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:25,098
I was always open to the
idea of going into striping.

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And so, finally I met my friend

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00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,110
who was a stripper at the time.

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00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,417
And honestly, she got me
to the club the next night.

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I just needed somebody

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00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,467
to kind of kick my ass through
the door and kind of help me,

224
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,600
guide me through it.

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00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:55,867
I wasn't particularly
nervous about the dancing

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00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,827
in front of people or
taking my clothes off

227
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,786
in front of people, I was
very comfortable in myself.

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00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:05,616
I was more nervous about
this whole unknown industry

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00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,575
that was so looked down upon

230
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,926
and kind of being uninsured
of what I was stepping into.

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00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,773
- When I'm dancing,

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00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:35,516
it's like I'm in a
whole different space.

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00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,344
It's like I'm in a
whole different body.

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00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,743
Most of my clientele are women.

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00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:50,444
They love the fact that I go
up there and express myself,

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00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:54,274
express through my body and
art because it's not easy.

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00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,841
And most women really
appreciate that.

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00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,844
Now, men, you have to
work a little bit more,

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00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,586
but they appreciate
the art as well too.

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00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,770
- Dancing is super therapeutic

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00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:16,818
and you're able to move
your body to tell a story.

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00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,646
And whether that
story is a sad story,

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00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:21,040
a happy story, a sexy story,

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00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,998
it's your story that
you get to tell.

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00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:27,394
And that's one thing that's
really beautiful about it.

246
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:32,573
And you just get
lost in the music.

247
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,532
And I just let go and I move.

248
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,795
I don't choreograph my dances

249
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,189
and when I'm done, I feel great.

250
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,427
- Give it up

251
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:05,432
for 2021 Heartbreaker of
the year, this is Galaxciii.

252
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,484
- I love to be
aggressive on stage.

253
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,660
I love to have a
good fucking time.

254
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:22,188
That is the best part of
dancing, and it is empowering.

255
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:32,328
- Dance is a part of
the performing arts.

256
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,548
Pole dancing is an art.

257
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,335
My dancing speaks for me.

258
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:53,480
It's never about anyone
else, it's always about me.

259
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,526
Even though I'm performing,
I'm performing for myself.

260
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,489
- When I do a dope pole trick

261
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:05,361
and all of a sudden I see
money rain down on me,

262
00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:08,190
it's fucking dope.

263
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:12,194
That move that I have
been practicing for years

264
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,718
or working on for months,

265
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,938
all of that hard
work was worth it.

266
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:37,872
- Movement really helps to
kind of loosen up my body

267
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:41,571
and I'm able to just really
be at peace with myself.

268
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:49,536
- Here we
go, ladies and gentlemen,

269
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,146
get those singles ready,

270
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,148
we've got Sin City's
favorite California girl

271
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,324
coming up right here on the
stage, let's welcome Robi.

272
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,501
- I feel like I move
like water on stage.

273
00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:03,811
It's like a seductive tease.

274
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,596
I can take thousands
of dollars from a guy

275
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,642
and not even mention sex.

276
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,732
It's not how everyone hustles,

277
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,864
but that hustle works
very well for me.

278
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,827
- Whether you're a
boob man or an ass man,

279
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,698
one of the things
that everybody loves

280
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:25,398
from men to women is twerking.

281
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:45,505
The way that I can move my
body, it makes it look so good,

282
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:49,422
and most women want to do
it and men wanna see it.

283
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:53,991
So, when you're dancing for
somebody, it feels good.

284
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:57,647
It's just something that
I believe everybody loves.

285
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:18,973
- Stripping, there's
a very fine line.

286
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,758
The line is, I never
take my panties off.

287
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,891
We are not gonna have
sex no matter what.

288
00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:26,894
And so, I think knowing
that that boundary

289
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:29,636
is there makes me so
much more comfortable

290
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:32,595
just being free and
being hyper-sexual,

291
00:21:32,726 --> 00:21:35,076
because it is a role
that I get to step into

292
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:37,600
and I do enjoy the
acting part of it.

293
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:57,794
- The VIP room is really
tricky because in stripping,

294
00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:01,537
there are a lotta
unspoken rules,

295
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:06,020
and it varies on each club
and it varies on each girl.

296
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:15,029
But you are there by yourself
and you are half naked

297
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:16,465
and you're with a
guy that's already,

298
00:22:16,596 --> 00:22:19,381
or a girl, that's
already lusting for you.

299
00:22:19,512 --> 00:22:23,211
So depending on the club and
what each club will allow

300
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:27,302
and depending on each girl
and what each girl will allow,

301
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:33,003
some stuff can happen.

302
00:22:43,144 --> 00:22:45,712
- Doing VIP is
way more intimate.

303
00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:51,413
It's hands-on, you
have to really get in
there a little bit.

304
00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:55,069
I'm good, slap my ass, do
whatever you wanna do, rub me.

305
00:22:55,199 --> 00:22:56,505
- Okay, all right.

306
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,943
- You gotta
get what you pay for.

307
00:23:00,074 --> 00:23:03,338
- All right.

308
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:07,211
- I like the VIP because
I'm a very sexual person.

309
00:23:07,342 --> 00:23:11,868
So when I'm back there,
I'm trying to give my all.

310
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:26,709
- Cheers.

311
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:29,582
Don't be scared to touch.

312
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:37,503
Will you smack that?

313
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:38,852
I'll be in the back with people,

314
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:40,941
and I will be telling
them what to do.

315
00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:44,031
I'll be moving their
hands onto my body.

316
00:23:44,161 --> 00:23:47,121
I will be repositioning them,

317
00:23:47,251 --> 00:23:49,384
and they can just sit
back and enjoy the ride.

318
00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:53,475
And that's not something
that these men are used to.

319
00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:55,172
And so, they want
that feeling more.

320
00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:58,437
And so, that's when we go
back for the second hour,

321
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:00,439
and that's we get
the next bottle.

322
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:07,663
- I definitely believe
stripping is sex work.

323
00:24:09,273 --> 00:24:11,972
Some clubs that I've
danced at are fully nude,

324
00:24:12,059 --> 00:24:16,019
so that in itself
would be sex work.

325
00:24:16,150 --> 00:24:20,067
You're getting enjoyment and
pleasure from my nude body.

326
00:24:29,816 --> 00:24:34,690
- I average 2,000 to $2,500
a night, four nights a week.

327
00:24:50,097 --> 00:24:51,228
- When my money bag
is nice and full,

328
00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:54,188
it's honestly such a
comforting feeling.

329
00:25:07,114 --> 00:25:08,245
- The best night I ever
had, I made over $10,000,

330
00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:12,685
and we stayed in the
VIP room from00 p.m.

331
00:25:12,815 --> 00:25:15,383
until00 p.m. the next day.

332
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:18,081
And I charged over
$1,000 an hour.

333
00:25:18,212 --> 00:25:19,692
So you can do the
maths on that .

334
00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:26,046
Physically holding a
large amount of cash

335
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:29,919
just makes me feel successful,

336
00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,834
like I have mastered my craft.

337
00:25:41,757 --> 00:25:46,370
- The first time I made $3,000,
it just made me go harder.

338
00:25:47,328 --> 00:25:49,939
That first 3,000
turned into 5,000.

339
00:25:50,070 --> 00:25:54,074
The first time you hit big,
it's like an adrenaline rush.

340
00:25:54,204 --> 00:25:56,859
Like, you feel
like wonder woman,

341
00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,731
like you could do
anything now .

342
00:26:00,471 --> 00:26:03,736
Every $1,000 that I make
is a badge of honor.

343
00:26:04,824 --> 00:26:06,434
I'm a thousandaire,
I'm proud .

344
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:10,917
- There were times
where I was making two,

345
00:26:11,047 --> 00:26:13,267
three grand a night easy,

346
00:26:13,397 --> 00:26:15,051
I would make that
in like two hours.

347
00:26:24,191 --> 00:26:25,845
- You have some
hits, you have some misses.

348
00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:27,629
That's just how it goes.

349
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,197
That's how the hustle is.

350
00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:32,199
You just gotta
appreciate those times

351
00:26:32,329 --> 00:26:35,028
when it's really,
really, really good

352
00:26:35,115 --> 00:26:38,292
and just prepare for
when it's really not.

353
00:26:40,207 --> 00:26:42,035
- Take a live
look at the Las Vegas Strip

354
00:26:42,165 --> 00:26:45,473
this morning, just hours after
a statewide shelter in place

355
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,475
was declared by
Nevada's governor.

356
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,694
- We're
going to be looking

357
00:26:49,216 --> 00:26:51,522
at a very different
Las Vegas Strip.

358
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,133
- The
business shut down

359
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,178
will affect one of the biggest
tourist spots in the country.

360
00:26:56,919 --> 00:26:59,269
- Corona virus
fucked up the game.

361
00:27:00,923 --> 00:27:02,533
It put a stop to everything.

362
00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:05,972
- March 15th
was the last day any dancer

363
00:27:06,102 --> 00:27:07,626
would step foot on a stage.

364
00:27:11,064 --> 00:27:13,240
- Here in Las Vegas,

365
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,459
our strip clubs took
the hardest hit.

366
00:27:15,590 --> 00:27:18,506
We're not essential
businesses at all.

367
00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:24,468
- All the clubs got shut down

368
00:27:24,555 --> 00:27:28,429
and every dancer like
myself had to figure out

369
00:27:28,516 --> 00:27:30,213
what the fuck we were gonna do.

370
00:27:35,001 --> 00:27:36,437
So when the pandemic hit

371
00:27:36,567 --> 00:27:39,179
and all these stimulus
packages came,

372
00:27:39,309 --> 00:27:40,920
they weren't coming for us.

373
00:27:41,050 --> 00:27:44,227
You couldn't work in an
explicit environment.

374
00:27:44,314 --> 00:27:46,795
And stripping, even
though it's not sex,

375
00:27:46,926 --> 00:27:51,626
is an explicit environment.

376
00:27:51,757 --> 00:27:53,759
- Strippers have to
adapt very quickly

377
00:27:53,889 --> 00:27:56,936
and learn to pivot when needed.

378
00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:59,678
That skill I think
translated very well

379
00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:01,027
when everything got shut down

380
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,333
and you didn't have a
club to go to anymore.

381
00:28:03,464 --> 00:28:06,119
And we had to figure out

382
00:28:06,249 --> 00:28:09,513
how can we do the same kind
of interaction and performance

383
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,778
and entertainment in
an online platform.

384
00:28:14,083 --> 00:28:17,870
And using those skills, we
found ways to make that work.

385
00:28:24,137 --> 00:28:26,530
- I'm a real hustler,
I'm a real trapper.

386
00:28:26,661 --> 00:28:29,359
I'll always have more
than one source of income.

387
00:28:33,363 --> 00:28:35,496
I have downloaded Streamates.

388
00:28:35,626 --> 00:28:38,673
It's a streaming
app for sex workers.

389
00:28:38,804 --> 00:28:40,762
It's webcam modeling.

390
00:28:40,893 --> 00:28:43,634
You don't have to show anything

391
00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:45,898
if you don't wanna show you
anything, it's all up to you.

392
00:28:46,028 --> 00:28:48,378
Oh, that's what
you're saying .

393
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,690
Here we go.

394
00:28:56,256 --> 00:29:00,173
I started streaming, within the
first 72 hours of streaming,

395
00:29:01,087 --> 00:29:03,393
I had already made $500.

396
00:29:06,135 --> 00:29:08,485
They didn't really care

397
00:29:08,616 --> 00:29:11,662
too much to if I
was naked or not.

398
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,796
They liked me for my
conversation, my awkwardness.

399
00:29:18,452 --> 00:29:22,848
I'm making waffles, strawberry,
or not strawberry .

400
00:29:22,978 --> 00:29:25,589
Banana and peanut
butter waffles.

401
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,243
I'm just trying
to get the gains.

402
00:29:33,423 --> 00:29:36,426
- How about I do this
for you, right here?

403
00:29:38,341 --> 00:29:40,561
Give you my Valentine's
Day gift .

404
00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:53,443
I literally bring the
club in my bedroom.

405
00:30:03,497 --> 00:30:06,979
And I've now taken that
toward social media

406
00:30:07,109 --> 00:30:08,894
and my online presence.

407
00:30:09,024 --> 00:30:13,507
And because I got introduced
to taking the club home

408
00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:16,902
and doing webcam and live shows,

409
00:30:16,989 --> 00:30:19,034
and it opened up a door for fans

410
00:30:19,165 --> 00:30:20,775
that were all around the world.

411
00:30:34,658 --> 00:30:36,138
- I think it's really cool

412
00:30:36,225 --> 00:30:39,489
to make my space my
own private club.

413
00:30:46,975 --> 00:30:51,850
To able to create that from
home on your phone online,

414
00:30:53,460 --> 00:30:57,072
and it's more of a personal
one-on-one experience

415
00:30:57,203 --> 00:30:58,682
with other people.

416
00:31:00,032 --> 00:31:02,382
Overall, I love to dance and
I love doing it for myself,

417
00:31:04,123 --> 00:31:07,213
but there's a lot of
me that loves doing it

418
00:31:07,343 --> 00:31:08,649
more for other people.

419
00:31:20,356 --> 00:31:21,792
- Having a pole in my house

420
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,143
has definitely
helped me out a lot.

421
00:31:24,273 --> 00:31:26,406
When I'm at home,
I just like to kind

422
00:31:26,536 --> 00:31:31,977
of really focus
on dancing for me

423
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,675
'cause it's different dancing
on stage for other people,

424
00:31:34,805 --> 00:31:36,372
and then there's
dancing for yourself.

425
00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:38,505
You need to dance for yourself

426
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,204
'cause then you really
start to appreciate it.

427
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,713
- My vibe when
I dance is real mellow,

428
00:32:12,843 --> 00:32:16,325
and I have the lights
as low as I want.

429
00:32:16,456 --> 00:32:19,502
I play my slow
songs back to back.

430
00:32:19,633 --> 00:32:22,375
And I really vibe out in here.

431
00:32:22,505 --> 00:32:24,377
And that's what's
so important to me.

432
00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:26,422
That's what keeps
the energy going.

433
00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:41,307
- Yes, you guys, perfect.

434
00:32:46,225 --> 00:32:47,791
The online classes
made it so that people

435
00:32:47,922 --> 00:32:50,664
could from all over
can take classes

436
00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:51,882
from me like they've been doing.

437
00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:54,102
I've had people the
way in the U.K.,

438
00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:56,800
in Australia, in
other rural areas

439
00:32:56,931 --> 00:33:00,804
that aren't able to
attend in-person classes.

440
00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:05,592
Nice.
- And it forced you

441
00:33:05,722 --> 00:33:09,509
to have to take your
brand seriously,

442
00:33:09,639 --> 00:33:13,904
because it's not a short
game anymore of dancing,

443
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,690
getting all this guy's money
and you never see them again.

444
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:19,301
You're gonna see them
again 'cause you're online,

445
00:33:19,432 --> 00:33:22,739
and word of mouth online
travels like that,

446
00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:25,612
and you can lose your fan base,
and then where's your money?

447
00:33:26,961 --> 00:33:28,615
- I want you

448
00:33:29,442 --> 00:33:32,619
to grab the rail a little bit,
that's perfect, there you go.

449
00:33:34,751 --> 00:33:38,016
- My name now means
a lot more to me

450
00:33:38,146 --> 00:33:40,540
and my brand that
I'm trying to produce

451
00:33:40,670 --> 00:33:42,324
means a lot more to me.

452
00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:46,676
So, I really try very hard
to portray the person I am.

453
00:33:52,073 --> 00:33:53,335
I'm really good at makeup,

454
00:33:53,727 --> 00:33:55,207
obviously, like
duh, but .

455
00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:02,910
And I'm not scared to
show anybody my bad side,

456
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,304
and I'm not scared to show
anybody my goofy side,

457
00:34:06,783 --> 00:34:10,396
and how I've gotten
from point A to point Z.

458
00:34:10,526 --> 00:34:12,833
Social media is a great way

459
00:34:12,963 --> 00:34:15,053
for everybody to see
how I'm progressing,

460
00:34:15,183 --> 00:34:18,839
because there's a lot
of levels to this shit.

461
00:34:18,969 --> 00:34:24,279
- One, two.

462
00:34:25,324 --> 00:34:27,195
One more, one more.

463
00:34:27,282 --> 00:34:31,504
- So, I obtained and made
sure I maintained photo-shoots

464
00:34:31,591 --> 00:34:36,378
and constantly trying to be
active on my social media

465
00:34:36,509 --> 00:34:38,337
to promote myself,
that's all we have.

466
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:51,132
It's a fantasy ultimately
that I'm trying to sell

467
00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:52,786
and that I do sell.

468
00:34:52,916 --> 00:34:55,615
So I wanna be something
totally different,

469
00:34:55,745 --> 00:34:59,184
something exclusive, something

470
00:34:59,314 --> 00:35:00,750
that they're fantasizing about.

471
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:07,844
So, I rely heavily on Instagram.

472
00:35:07,931 --> 00:35:11,631
My first Instagram that
I was promoting myself on

473
00:35:11,718 --> 00:35:15,896
had around 87,000
people or followers.

474
00:35:16,026 --> 00:35:19,813
And that page, I
made so much money.

475
00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:27,734
- So, at the start
of the pandemic,

476
00:35:27,864 --> 00:35:30,780
I was in Santa Cruz
for my birthday,

477
00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:33,566
the weekend that
everything got shut down.

478
00:35:33,696 --> 00:35:36,612
So, I was in
California for a while,

479
00:35:36,743 --> 00:35:38,571
working at the
beach lifeguarding.

480
00:35:38,701 --> 00:35:39,833
They needed a lot of help.

481
00:35:39,963 --> 00:35:41,748
We were facing beach closures.

482
00:35:41,878 --> 00:35:45,578
We were doing 70 hour
weeks during a pandemic.

483
00:35:45,665 --> 00:35:49,669
- Union 93's 14 John
NN3, 108, good morning.

484
00:35:49,799 --> 00:35:51,584
- Good
work, good morning.

485
00:35:51,671 --> 00:35:52,976
- Copy, we'll be in route.

486
00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:55,283
It was really high stress.

487
00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:58,504
On top of listening to
the 911 scanner all day,

488
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,550
hearing about how there's
no beds at the hospital

489
00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:02,986
every 10 minutes.

490
00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:06,947
Northern 14th John,
entering .

491
00:36:10,124 --> 00:36:11,865
We're just gonna wait
until Harbor gets here,

492
00:36:11,995 --> 00:36:13,519
and then you're gonna
get on the Harbor boat

493
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,129
and help them with this.

494
00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:16,304
Then we're all gonna
go back to the Harbor.

495
00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:17,697
- Sounds good.
- Yeah.

496
00:36:18,393 --> 00:36:20,787
You guys get a free jet
ski ride today .

497
00:36:20,917 --> 00:36:23,006
There were so many

498
00:36:23,137 --> 00:36:26,271
more deaths, there were
so many more drownings.

499
00:36:26,401 --> 00:36:31,014
It was a lot.

500
00:36:31,101 --> 00:36:32,407
I love lifeguarding.

501
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:36,498
I love being able to take
control of a situation

502
00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:39,632
where I might be the
only person in control.

503
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,811
One hand.

504
00:36:49,163 --> 00:36:50,295
I would lifeguard full-time

505
00:36:50,817 --> 00:36:54,908
if it made sense
financially for me.

506
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:59,086
But I have to be making
money, I have to pay bills.

507
00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:01,306
My parents are getting older.

508
00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:04,047
I have to be able
to support them.

509
00:37:04,134 --> 00:37:07,399
And I think I have
an underlying fear

510
00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:09,270
of being really poor again.

511
00:37:09,357 --> 00:37:12,708
And I'm really willing
to do whatever it takes

512
00:37:12,839 --> 00:37:14,449
to make sure that
that never happens.

513
00:37:14,536 --> 00:37:17,887
But it is stressful
at times, for sure.

514
00:37:19,846 --> 00:37:21,717
- Before COVID,

515
00:37:21,804 --> 00:37:23,458
things were good, but I feel

516
00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:25,678
like I actually started
making a lot more money

517
00:37:25,808 --> 00:37:27,767
when COVID hit
than I did before.

518
00:37:31,205 --> 00:37:33,642
There was nowhere to work,
there was nothing you could do,

519
00:37:33,773 --> 00:37:36,558
but you had to make it work,
so you made stuff happen.

520
00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:38,081
I made stuff happen.

521
00:37:38,212 --> 00:37:40,649
Going to the bars,
and finding clients,

522
00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,391
and throwing parties together,
throwing events together.

523
00:37:46,307 --> 00:37:48,657
My hustle just turned on,

524
00:37:48,788 --> 00:37:53,227
when everything shut
down, my instincts shined.

525
00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:57,449
When you grip with both legs
and you just kinda hang.

526
00:37:58,885 --> 00:38:01,279
- Oh, like
a side bar to it.

527
00:38:01,409 --> 00:38:03,063
- Mm-hmm,
can you do that?

528
00:38:03,193 --> 00:38:04,369
I can teach you that.

529
00:38:05,674 --> 00:38:08,938
During COVID, I actually did
start doing pole classes.

530
00:38:10,113 --> 00:38:12,899
Obviously, it was
another source of income.

531
00:38:15,641 --> 00:38:20,559
Legs up, hold your grip,
boom, hold, split, yeah.

532
00:38:25,781 --> 00:38:26,913
And that was another way.

533
00:38:27,043 --> 00:38:28,610
And also meeting other girls

534
00:38:28,697 --> 00:38:32,135
that are down to perform
at events, at gigs.

535
00:38:32,266 --> 00:38:36,183
You just gotta kind of find
where your strengths are.

536
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:40,840
And my strength
is just hustling.

537
00:38:40,970 --> 00:38:42,450
Hustle was within my blood.

538
00:38:56,072 --> 00:39:00,207
- Okay, good job.

539
00:39:01,295 --> 00:39:03,515
I have my own pole
company, Tricks By Yas.

540
00:39:03,645 --> 00:39:06,431
I do women's sessions,
private one-on-ones.

541
00:39:07,867 --> 00:39:08,955
So, that's fine.

542
00:39:09,521 --> 00:39:12,698
That is my second
stream of income.

543
00:39:12,785 --> 00:39:17,224
I would say I've had
at least 100 girls

544
00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:21,924
over the past 14 months
that have hit me up.

545
00:39:22,055 --> 00:39:24,492
'Cause that way, you'll
have more control.

546
00:39:24,623 --> 00:39:26,973
Pole dancing I'm
forever progressing at.

547
00:39:27,103 --> 00:39:29,149
I always want to meet people

548
00:39:29,236 --> 00:39:33,893
who do teach professional
pole dance classes

549
00:39:34,023 --> 00:39:35,982
because I don't have
that background.

550
00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:37,723
I never took a pole class.

551
00:39:37,853 --> 00:39:39,986
It's always good
to keep learning.

552
00:39:40,116 --> 00:39:41,335
No matter what you're doing,

553
00:39:41,727 --> 00:39:42,815
it's always good
to keep learning.

554
00:39:43,598 --> 00:39:45,731
You can always know more,
you can always improve.

555
00:39:55,828 --> 00:39:58,134
- In the pandemic, I
started doing Onlyfans

556
00:39:58,221 --> 00:40:00,136
because a second
source of income,

557
00:40:00,267 --> 00:40:02,008
they cut our pay
at life guarding.

558
00:40:02,138 --> 00:40:05,098
And I was very lucky
that my stripper friends

559
00:40:05,228 --> 00:40:08,101
are also doing Onlyfans.

560
00:40:08,231 --> 00:40:11,278
And Jesse helped me so much.

561
00:40:12,366 --> 00:40:14,847
She said, "You have
to make your Onlyfans,

562
00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:16,588
"you have to make
your online platform,

563
00:40:16,718 --> 00:40:19,242
"a safe space for you."

564
00:40:19,373 --> 00:40:23,812
And if I'm making it reflect me,

565
00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:27,250
then it's gonna be so much
easier to put work into it,

566
00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:31,385
and to spend the time editing
videos, and networking.

567
00:40:38,392 --> 00:40:41,264
So my mornings start
with a cup of coffee,

568
00:40:41,395 --> 00:40:43,571
and sitting on my
couch, and catching up

569
00:40:43,658 --> 00:40:46,879
with all of the social
media from the night before,

570
00:40:47,009 --> 00:40:48,489
seeing how my Onlyfans did,

571
00:40:49,142 --> 00:40:50,883
how much money did I make
while I was sleeping.

572
00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:09,902
- So my mom was a single
mom, so she worked a lot.

573
00:41:09,989 --> 00:41:11,860
So, I just wanted to help
take care of the family

574
00:41:11,991 --> 00:41:14,428
and help provide for my mom.

575
00:41:14,515 --> 00:41:19,477
And I remember seeing a ad
on Craigslist for modeling,

576
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,131
and it was advertised
as teen glamor.

577
00:41:24,003 --> 00:41:28,007
At 16 $600 a day for
two days, that's a lot.

578
00:41:28,137 --> 00:41:31,097
So that kind of
drove me to do it.

579
00:41:33,447 --> 00:41:36,319
I definitely ended up thinking I

580
00:41:36,450 --> 00:41:40,019
was gonna be taking pictures
with just a bra and panty.

581
00:41:40,149 --> 00:41:41,934
And I ended up being naked

582
00:41:42,064 --> 00:41:44,240
with a shear sheet, covering me.

583
00:41:46,329 --> 00:41:50,943
The makeup I think for
me was more shocking now

584
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,771
than it was at the time.

585
00:41:52,858 --> 00:41:55,295
I should have known better.

586
00:41:56,992 --> 00:42:00,692
We're half naked and
were under the age of 18.

587
00:42:00,822 --> 00:42:02,389
When you're 15, 16,

588
00:42:02,476 --> 00:42:04,957
you don't think about the
consequences of the choices

589
00:42:05,087 --> 00:42:07,829
that you make and how
those will play a part

590
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,309
of your future life.

591
00:42:09,918 --> 00:42:12,399
So, to take that two
seconds of time to say, hey,

592
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,402
is this something I'm
really prepared for?

593
00:42:15,489 --> 00:42:17,622
Is this something I
really can handle?

594
00:42:19,319 --> 00:42:21,190
And understanding that
once you get in it,

595
00:42:21,321 --> 00:42:26,500
you can't go back, it
might change the path

596
00:42:27,457 --> 00:42:29,198
that the younger
me would have took.

597
00:42:30,417 --> 00:42:34,552
- So my mom was a single mom.

598
00:42:36,249 --> 00:42:39,469
We were pretty poor, but
she did a really good job

599
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,602
of not making it feel that way.

600
00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:45,998
We were still able to
prioritize fun on the weekends.

601
00:42:52,047 --> 00:42:53,396
Instead of doing Christmas

602
00:42:54,223 --> 00:42:55,224
where we have lots of
presents and stuff like that,

603
00:42:55,355 --> 00:42:58,358
we would focus on
experiences instead.

604
00:42:58,488 --> 00:43:00,142
It's not Christmas eve.
- Oh, okay.

605
00:43:00,273 --> 00:43:02,275
I thought that was Santa
at the doors or something.

606
00:43:02,405 --> 00:43:04,016
- And around middle
school and high school,

607
00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:05,974
my mom and me stopped
getting along.

608
00:43:06,105 --> 00:43:08,716
We would fight almost every day.

609
00:43:08,847 --> 00:43:11,197
Sometimes it would
get pretty bad.

610
00:43:11,327 --> 00:43:14,069
The cops came to our
house quite a few times.

611
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:18,857
She was really strict and
that made me rebellious.

612
00:43:25,646 --> 00:43:28,431
- Come
in, you don't go around

613
00:43:28,562 --> 00:43:30,651
like that with the camera,
you just turn it off,

614
00:43:30,782 --> 00:43:32,653
and then you leave it.

615
00:43:32,784 --> 00:43:34,220
Are you off?
- No, I'm waiting

616
00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:37,049
for you to put it in.

617
00:43:37,179 --> 00:43:39,834
I thought it was her problem.

618
00:43:39,965 --> 00:43:44,186
I thought that she is
just out to get me.

619
00:43:44,273 --> 00:43:46,275
And I didn't realize

620
00:43:46,406 --> 00:43:49,496
that she has her own
mental health issues.

621
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:53,805
And so, I think if I could
tell my younger self anything,

622
00:43:53,892 --> 00:43:58,810
it would be to just be a
little bit more understanding.

623
00:44:00,072 --> 00:44:03,249
There's things that you might
not know about her story,

624
00:44:03,379 --> 00:44:04,946
about anyone's story, really

625
00:44:05,077 --> 00:44:08,384
that impact how they
interact with people.

626
00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:16,915
- Growing up, I kind of always
have struggled a little bit

627
00:44:17,002 --> 00:44:20,048
with anxiety and depression.

628
00:44:20,179 --> 00:44:23,748
Get very nervous just going
outside, anywhere in public.

629
00:44:25,619 --> 00:44:26,707
I don't like going
to the gas station.

630
00:44:27,926 --> 00:44:29,014
I don't like going
to the grocery store,
I literally can't.

631
00:44:29,144 --> 00:44:31,538
I will literally
go sit in my car,

632
00:44:31,625 --> 00:44:34,019
freak the fuck out and
be like, no,

633
00:44:34,149 --> 00:44:35,716
and I've even done
that with clubs.

634
00:44:36,499 --> 00:44:38,327
I've literally driven up to
a club, sat there in my car,

635
00:44:38,458 --> 00:44:41,635
and I was like, fuck
that, and drove away

636
00:44:41,766 --> 00:44:44,290
because I was just
kind of so anxious

637
00:44:44,377 --> 00:44:47,293
and just could not get myself
to step out of the car,

638
00:44:47,423 --> 00:44:49,991
I had to really
leave to calm down.

639
00:44:50,122 --> 00:44:51,906
And I've even been
working in the club

640
00:44:52,037 --> 00:44:53,647
and ended up having to go home

641
00:44:53,734 --> 00:44:56,345
just because it was
affecting me that much.

642
00:45:00,001 --> 00:45:03,048
If I could talk to myself
when I was younger,

643
00:45:03,178 --> 00:45:07,574
15, still in high school, still
trying to figure stuff out,

644
00:45:07,661 --> 00:45:09,184
is that even though you're lost,

645
00:45:09,315 --> 00:45:11,578
you're going to
figure it on out.

646
00:45:11,665 --> 00:45:14,450
And even though people
look at you differently,

647
00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:16,365
you are going to find
somewhere where you fit in,

648
00:45:16,496 --> 00:45:18,541
you are going to
find a community.

649
00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:26,724
- When we moved to Vegas

650
00:45:26,854 --> 00:45:28,247
after my grandmother died,

651
00:45:28,334 --> 00:45:30,684
I started taking
on a different role

652
00:45:30,771 --> 00:45:32,686
as the parent, a second mom.

653
00:45:32,817 --> 00:45:35,123
We had to come to
Vegas from New York,

654
00:45:35,254 --> 00:45:38,474
and it was just a
really rough time.

655
00:45:38,561 --> 00:45:41,390
My dad started falling apart.

656
00:45:41,477 --> 00:45:44,785
I started realizing that
things were getting really bad

657
00:45:44,916 --> 00:45:49,355
around 12 or 13, we would go
without lights, water, food.

658
00:45:49,485 --> 00:45:51,966
I had to make sure
that my brothers

659
00:45:52,097 --> 00:45:54,099
and sisters made it to school,

660
00:45:54,229 --> 00:45:57,363
all while trying to get
myself ready for school.

661
00:45:57,493 --> 00:46:00,801
And I would miss
most of my schooling,

662
00:46:00,932 --> 00:46:04,544
making sure that all of the
babies made it to school first.

663
00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:09,027
Most would think where was
your mom at during all of this,

664
00:46:09,157 --> 00:46:10,768
how could she let
that stuff go on,

665
00:46:10,898 --> 00:46:14,293
but ultimately, they were
doing drugs together.

666
00:46:14,423 --> 00:46:16,686
So she was weakened anyway.

667
00:46:16,817 --> 00:46:20,212
It was a lot more
struggles than happiness.

668
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:23,606
If I could say anything
to my dad right now,

669
00:46:23,737 --> 00:46:26,348
it would be that I'm happy

670
00:46:26,479 --> 00:46:29,656
that we did go through
what we went through,

671
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:34,226
but it was really tough
on me being the oldest.

672
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:38,534
Excuse me .

673
00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:52,157
I'm just happy
that God made it me

674
00:46:52,287 --> 00:46:53,985
to go through it with them,

675
00:46:54,115 --> 00:46:58,163
because there's no
telling where we would be

676
00:46:58,293 --> 00:46:59,468
if it wasn't me.

677
00:47:01,731 --> 00:47:02,602
Fuzzy hair .

678
00:47:02,732 --> 00:47:03,472
- Thanks .

679
00:47:15,354 --> 00:47:20,315
- My drug use and alcohol
abuse started probably at 14.

680
00:47:24,276 --> 00:47:26,191
- Go Mandy, go
Mandy, go, yeah, ooh.

681
00:47:32,414 --> 00:47:37,593
- Pills, coke,
Molly, meth, alcohol.

682
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:41,510
I would chug liquor like
it was nobody's business.

683
00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:43,904
I would chug liquor
like it was water.

684
00:47:44,949 --> 00:47:46,559
The people I had met,

685
00:47:46,689 --> 00:47:48,735
again they were six
years older than me,

686
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:53,522
we would ride around all
night, all day, all night,

687
00:47:53,653 --> 00:47:56,917
all day, they would sell,
I would sell for them.

688
00:47:58,092 --> 00:48:01,313
We would do coke all night,
we would do acid all day,

689
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,489
pop Molly, pop E, I would blink

690
00:48:03,619 --> 00:48:05,447
and it would be a
month had gone by

691
00:48:05,534 --> 00:48:07,710
and I had no idea what
had just happened.

692
00:48:09,582 --> 00:48:15,109
I have been hospitalized

693
00:48:16,328 --> 00:48:19,287
three times from overdosing.
- Come on, Mandy.

694
00:48:19,374 --> 00:48:23,726
- Whoa, Mandy, yes,
Mandy, oh, smack that ass.

695
00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:30,385
- Since I was a young kid
hanging out with the big kids,

696
00:48:30,516 --> 00:48:33,388
I just wanted to flaunt,
I just wanted to brag

697
00:48:33,519 --> 00:48:35,303
about the things I was doing.

698
00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:38,089
I just felt the need to post it.

699
00:48:38,219 --> 00:48:41,396
And also if I was selling
it for other people

700
00:48:41,527 --> 00:48:43,703
in order for me to
have a place to stay,

701
00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:45,792
that's what I would do.

702
00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:48,664
Almost every second of
it, I would document.

703
00:48:48,751 --> 00:48:51,972
I would post all the crazy
college parties I was going to.

704
00:48:52,103 --> 00:48:54,279
At first it was,
people were like, whoa,

705
00:48:54,409 --> 00:48:56,542
this girl's life is so exciting.

706
00:48:56,672 --> 00:49:00,285
And then, it started
getting down to, wow,

707
00:49:00,415 --> 00:49:02,896
you've lost a lot of
weight, are you okay?

708
00:49:04,593 --> 00:49:07,901
I had moved to Vegas and
I weighed 100 pounds.

709
00:49:08,032 --> 00:49:10,904
My priorities were
still fucked up.

710
00:49:11,035 --> 00:49:13,951
But as I started progressing,

711
00:49:14,081 --> 00:49:16,214
I started dropping
a lot of people.

712
00:49:16,344 --> 00:49:17,911
I stopped hanging out
with a lot of people.

713
00:49:18,042 --> 00:49:20,305
I stopped partying,
I stopped drinking.

714
00:49:20,435 --> 00:49:21,959
So I quit drinking.

715
00:49:23,264 --> 00:49:25,310
I am two months sober now.

716
00:49:26,789 --> 00:49:31,011
No drugs, no drinking.

717
00:49:31,098 --> 00:49:35,189
Being sober, I feel like I
appreciate myself so much more.

718
00:49:36,843 --> 00:49:40,629
The advice that I would
give to my teenage self

719
00:49:43,067 --> 00:49:44,633
would be don't change anything,

720
00:49:45,765 --> 00:49:47,201
because if I didn't go through

721
00:49:47,332 --> 00:49:49,812
what I went through
as a teenager,

722
00:49:49,943 --> 00:49:51,510
I would be going
through it right now.

723
00:50:08,788 --> 00:50:10,355
- But I kind of
fumbled my bag a bit

724
00:50:10,485 --> 00:50:12,922
and I lost my scholarship

725
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:16,361
because I wasn't able to
maintain the GPA required

726
00:50:16,491 --> 00:50:17,710
for that scholarship.

727
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,409
It took a really big toll on me.

728
00:50:23,411 --> 00:50:26,240
Depression is a motherfucker.

729
00:50:26,371 --> 00:50:27,850
It doesn't get easier,

730
00:50:27,981 --> 00:50:30,940
and I don't think it
will ever go away.

731
00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:34,379
No one's talking
about depression.

732
00:50:34,509 --> 00:50:38,992
So it's only enabling
the feeling that okay,

733
00:50:39,123 --> 00:50:40,254
black people don't
get depressed.

734
00:50:40,385 --> 00:50:41,560
This is a real thing.

735
00:50:42,126 --> 00:50:43,301
Black people are not
allowed to be depressed.

736
00:50:43,823 --> 00:50:46,478
We can't, we just deal with
it, we gotta deal with it.

737
00:50:46,608 --> 00:50:49,611
And since I was in
that depression,

738
00:50:49,742 --> 00:50:52,049
I started thinking
about everything.

739
00:50:52,179 --> 00:50:56,662
I was like, well,
dang, you should be

740
00:50:56,792 --> 00:50:58,794
on your way to
graduation right now,

741
00:50:58,925 --> 00:51:02,494
but you fucked up your
scholarship for what?

742
00:51:02,624 --> 00:51:04,626
You're a fuck up,
that's how I felt.

743
00:51:04,757 --> 00:51:08,587
You're undeserving of anything,
you're undeserving of life.

744
00:51:08,717 --> 00:51:10,719
And I took it upon myself

745
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:15,028
to take every
prescription medication,

746
00:51:15,115 --> 00:51:18,814
I overdosed on 30 plus pills.

747
00:51:20,425 --> 00:51:24,864
The person who found me was
my boyfriend at the time.

748
00:51:24,994 --> 00:51:26,213
And had he not came,

749
00:51:26,866 --> 00:51:28,346
I probably wouldn't be
sitting in this chair,

750
00:51:28,476 --> 00:51:30,478
saying this story
today because I was

751
00:51:30,609 --> 00:51:33,525
on life support for three days,

752
00:51:33,655 --> 00:51:37,050
and just waking
up, that's nothing,

753
00:51:37,181 --> 00:51:42,099
but God, depression does
not belong to a race.

754
00:51:43,752 --> 00:51:45,580
It comes for everybody

755
00:51:45,711 --> 00:51:47,756
and it comes in
many different ways.

756
00:51:51,717 --> 00:51:54,415
Suicide is definitely
not the answer.

757
00:52:08,864 --> 00:52:13,565
- Bow slightly, three, two.

758
00:52:13,695 --> 00:52:15,175
Shit.

759
00:52:15,741 --> 00:52:19,484
- I am fortunate that I
have a partner in my life.

760
00:52:21,964 --> 00:52:27,274
My partner is a photographer.

761
00:52:28,449 --> 00:52:29,885
We have a lot of fun
together, we laugh a lot.

762
00:52:29,972 --> 00:52:33,019
I cannot
laugh, okay .

763
00:52:40,331 --> 00:52:43,290
Shut up .

764
00:52:46,989 --> 00:52:48,339
We're both competitive.

765
00:52:49,818 --> 00:52:51,864
We also clash because of that,

766
00:52:51,994 --> 00:52:56,608
because he's a power dude
and I'm a power woman.

767
00:52:56,695 --> 00:52:58,827
Sometimes we're at odds.

768
00:52:58,958 --> 00:53:00,873
We can go all day
about the stupid TV.

769
00:53:01,003 --> 00:53:03,528
You wanna know how
much I disliked the TV,

770
00:53:03,658 --> 00:53:06,052
because I was happily on my way

771
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,750
to go get the drill, remember?

772
00:53:08,837 --> 00:53:12,058
And then you came over and
tried to rub up behind me,

773
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:14,843
like, babe, can I go
next door and buy the TV?

774
00:53:17,019 --> 00:53:19,021
And remember I brought
the drill over there,

775
00:53:19,152 --> 00:53:22,982
and we've now been to three
separate fucking Walmarts

776
00:53:23,983 --> 00:53:26,551
where the drill
doesn't grab the bit.

777
00:53:26,681 --> 00:53:28,074
- So, that's you hate of my TV,

778
00:53:28,944 --> 00:53:30,032
it's got to do with the drill?
- Yeah, your TV is, yeah.

779
00:53:30,119 --> 00:53:31,686
Okay, so, we're gonna

780
00:53:31,817 --> 00:53:34,863
put that there, I don't
want, babe, stop, no.

781
00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:38,171
- How much I'm
putting .

782
00:53:59,714 --> 00:54:02,761
- I love bonding with my
sister, it's a lot of fun.

783
00:54:02,891 --> 00:54:05,024
It's great to know
that she helps me

784
00:54:05,111 --> 00:54:06,460
in a lot of different areas,

785
00:54:06,547 --> 00:54:07,896
I help her in a
lot of different.

786
00:54:09,463 --> 00:54:10,856
Oh, yeah.

787
00:54:12,161 --> 00:54:15,904
We used to always play cards
together actually before,

788
00:54:15,991 --> 00:54:17,166
even with our mom,
we would play cards.

789
00:54:17,819 --> 00:54:20,344
So when she comes over
and we get to do that,

790
00:54:20,474 --> 00:54:23,695
it's super cool.

791
00:54:25,174 --> 00:54:27,568
- Shit, wait, whoa.
- Don't fuck around,

792
00:54:27,699 --> 00:54:32,617
I know what you've got.

793
00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:37,404
- I thought you had a Jack,
why did I think you had a Jack?

794
00:54:37,535 --> 00:54:38,579
- I don't know, you
saw what I had too.

795
00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:43,236
- I did, stupid.

796
00:54:46,326 --> 00:54:49,024
- Don't shoulder mount
and Superman, if anything,

797
00:54:49,155 --> 00:54:53,290
shoulder mount, leg
hang, grab, Superman.

798
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:56,684
- Oh, okay, let's try
that, let's try that, okay.

799
00:54:57,946 --> 00:54:59,208
- Leg hang.
- Rob.

800
00:54:59,339 --> 00:55:01,167
- Up.
- Bring it in, okay.

801
00:55:02,342 --> 00:55:03,909
- Up, grab.
- Superman.

802
00:55:04,475 --> 00:55:05,650
- Superman, don't lock your
feet, don't lock your feet.

803
00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,173
- See, and that is
where I get stuck.

804
00:55:07,260 --> 00:55:09,654
- Point your toes,
grab yourself up.

805
00:55:09,784 --> 00:55:12,613
- And that's where I get stuck.

806
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:15,050
- She doesn't really do pole
tricks that much anymore,

807
00:55:15,137 --> 00:55:17,401
but she's very experienced,
so when she does,

808
00:55:17,531 --> 00:55:19,577
she's been doing this
a lot longer than me.

809
00:55:19,707 --> 00:55:21,230
So when she comes over,

810
00:55:21,970 --> 00:55:23,711
I like to teach her and show
her the stuff that I know

811
00:55:23,842 --> 00:55:25,452
and the stuff that I've learned.

812
00:55:29,151 --> 00:55:31,415
It's really fun to be able
to teach her those things

813
00:55:31,545 --> 00:55:34,983
because she is the reason why
I do this in the first place.

814
00:55:51,522 --> 00:55:52,871
- There you go.
- That was really good.

815
00:55:53,001 --> 00:55:54,699
- Did I
do okay ?

816
00:55:54,786 --> 00:55:56,004
- So, wait, okay, ready?

817
00:55:56,135 --> 00:55:58,137
Come on, three, two.

818
00:56:04,578 --> 00:56:08,190
I have a seven year
old daughter, she's
my pride and joy.

819
00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:12,891
She came in my 12th grade
year of high school.

820
00:56:14,022 --> 00:56:16,329
I like that, hey.

821
00:56:19,288 --> 00:56:23,380
The importance of family
to me is everything.

822
00:56:27,645 --> 00:56:29,821
They're the only ones
who know my struggle.

823
00:56:30,996 --> 00:56:32,432
Me and my brothers and sisters,

824
00:56:32,563 --> 00:56:35,000
we get together very frequently,

825
00:56:35,130 --> 00:56:36,784
whether it be
dinner or going out.

826
00:56:36,915 --> 00:56:38,569
But one of our favorite things

827
00:56:38,656 --> 00:56:40,962
are just eating and
vibing together.

828
00:56:47,142 --> 00:56:49,841
It gives my daughter a chance
to be around her family,

829
00:56:49,971 --> 00:56:52,452
her uncles who love her so much.

830
00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:54,193
And she loves them being around.

831
00:56:54,323 --> 00:56:57,588
So, they really give
her a lotta love.

832
00:56:57,718 --> 00:57:01,069
They're everything to her.

833
00:57:04,377 --> 00:57:07,119
Watching my brothers
interact with my daughter

834
00:57:07,206 --> 00:57:09,730
just makes me so
proud that I was able

835
00:57:09,861 --> 00:57:13,604
to one, bring up
loving and caring men,

836
00:57:13,691 --> 00:57:16,258
and for two, it just
makes me so happy

837
00:57:16,389 --> 00:57:19,653
to see that she's
able to be a kid

838
00:57:19,784 --> 00:57:22,743
and she's able to have
fun and smile and laugh.

839
00:57:26,704 --> 00:57:29,881
During this pandemic, it's
really tough on me though.

840
00:57:30,011 --> 00:57:32,536
I'm sure any parent
could understand

841
00:57:32,623 --> 00:57:35,974
what I'm going through
with online school,

842
00:57:36,104 --> 00:57:39,804
it's the most tedious thing.

843
00:57:39,934 --> 00:57:42,720
10, so it's 10, 20?
- 30?

844
00:57:47,028 --> 00:57:51,076
- One, two, three, you have
to look at the last number.

845
00:57:51,163 --> 00:57:53,078
So if all the first
numbers are the same,

846
00:57:54,471 --> 00:57:55,907
look at the second
number, good job.

847
00:57:56,037 --> 00:57:59,867
Having a seven year old
try and sit down all day

848
00:57:59,998 --> 00:58:02,304
is the hardest job I've
ever had in my life.

849
00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:06,657
- Join the party.

850
00:58:08,397 --> 00:58:10,835
- When I say my dad
is my best friend,

851
00:58:10,965 --> 00:58:14,012
I mean that my dad
is my best friend.

852
00:58:15,796 --> 00:58:17,755
- Up to it, down to it.

853
00:58:17,842 --> 00:58:20,018
Fuck those that don't do it.

854
00:58:20,148 --> 00:58:23,021
We do it 'cause
we used to, drink,

855
00:58:23,151 --> 00:58:25,719
mother fucker, drink, woo, woo.

856
00:58:27,025 --> 00:58:31,420
- We can sit with each other
forever and not say anything

857
00:58:32,552 --> 00:58:35,163
or say everything and
still have more to say.

858
00:58:36,817 --> 00:58:40,125
My dad is always surprising me.

859
00:58:40,255 --> 00:58:44,216
His stories, they
go on and on and on.

860
00:58:44,346 --> 00:58:46,392
And they're so interesting.
- I was getting ready

861
00:58:46,479 --> 00:58:48,699
to go on a new kids tour,
and that's when they

862
00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:49,961
had just designed this shirts

863
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:52,050
for the tour, you
know what I mean?

864
00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:53,921
We selling t-shirts on the tour.

865
00:58:58,839 --> 00:59:00,537
- I thought you knew.

866
00:59:00,624 --> 00:59:04,758
The relationship that I
have with my little sister,

867
00:59:04,889 --> 00:59:09,502
I try to set the best example
for her as her big sister.

868
00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:11,852
I try to be someone
that she can confide in.

869
00:59:11,983 --> 00:59:15,508
I also try to be someone
that she can have fun with.

870
00:59:15,595 --> 00:59:19,294
It's a crazy family, but we
all take care of each other

871
00:59:19,425 --> 00:59:23,168
at the end of the day.

872
00:59:26,954 --> 00:59:28,173
- So, I'm an only child.

873
00:59:28,913 --> 00:59:32,264
So, I have found myself
placing a lot of value

874
00:59:32,351 --> 00:59:37,182
on my friendships and
investing a lot of time

875
00:59:38,226 --> 00:59:39,750
and love into those friendships.

876
00:59:42,535 --> 00:59:45,364
Doing photo shoots
with my friends who
are also sex workers,

877
00:59:45,494 --> 00:59:49,020
is it's so different,
the energy is different.

878
00:59:49,150 --> 00:59:50,978
Goldie makes me feel so sexy

879
00:59:51,109 --> 00:59:53,546
when I get in front of her
camera, and it's always fun,

880
00:59:53,677 --> 00:59:57,245
and I never feel
drained afterwards.

881
01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:05,079
Sometimes I need to be
around people who understand,

882
01:00:08,126 --> 01:00:09,518
because maybe I'm
having a problem

883
01:00:10,084 --> 01:00:13,261
that is so specific to
how society views us.

884
01:00:20,399 --> 01:00:24,664
- And stretch on out.

885
01:00:37,459 --> 01:00:40,288
One thing that I
love about stripping

886
01:00:40,419 --> 01:00:42,290
is the people it's
allowed me to meet,

887
01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:44,336
like my friend Kevin.

888
01:01:04,312 --> 01:01:06,140
You can choose
your support system

889
01:01:06,271 --> 01:01:08,577
through the friends that
you have around you.

890
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:13,539
And having somebody there while
we're all struggling through

891
01:01:14,322 --> 01:01:15,715
what's going on in the world

892
01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:18,675
can really just make a
whole lot of a difference.

893
01:01:25,420 --> 01:01:28,032
We all really need
is a support system.

894
01:01:28,162 --> 01:01:31,383
And some people have their
families, some don't.

895
01:01:54,406 --> 01:01:58,192
- With adult entertainment,
you are bare.

896
01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:03,023
Once you take that outfit off,
it is what you got working.

897
01:02:03,154 --> 01:02:05,373
And either
it works or doesn't.

898
01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:08,507
Getting my boobs for me

899
01:02:08,637 --> 01:02:11,423
was the best investment
I've ever made

900
01:02:11,553 --> 01:02:15,514
because it improved my
income dramatically.

901
01:02:15,644 --> 01:02:18,865
And I don't think it was
because of my boobs being big.

902
01:02:18,996 --> 01:02:20,824
I think it was a
confidence factor.

903
01:02:20,954 --> 01:02:23,696
I think that when you are
constantly under a microscope

904
01:02:23,827 --> 01:02:25,263
and judging yourself,

905
01:02:26,090 --> 01:02:28,005
when you do that little thing
that makes you feel good,

906
01:02:29,049 --> 01:02:30,572
it gives you that sense
of inner confidence.

907
01:02:30,703 --> 01:02:33,445
And that's what shows,
that's what they're reading.

908
01:02:33,575 --> 01:02:36,187
When you're in that environment,

909
01:02:36,317 --> 01:02:38,276
they're feeling that energy.

910
01:02:38,363 --> 01:02:43,063
Does this girl need my money
or does she want my money?

911
01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:45,979
And the girl that's hot,
that's in control of herself,

912
01:02:46,066 --> 01:02:48,852
oh, I want your money, but
I don't need your money.

913
01:02:48,982 --> 01:02:49,853
And that's sexy.

914
01:02:52,638 --> 01:02:55,946
- I don't feel like bodies
are some weird sexual thing

915
01:02:56,076 --> 01:02:58,296
that you have to keep covered.

916
01:02:58,426 --> 01:03:00,689
I just feel like
it's just a body.

917
01:03:00,820 --> 01:03:02,648
It's not that big of a deal.

918
01:03:02,735 --> 01:03:08,001
And so, getting on stage
and being half naked,

919
01:03:09,350 --> 01:03:11,439
it just doesn't feel weird to
me, it feels really natural.

920
01:03:13,572 --> 01:03:16,009
I wouldn't get my nails
done if I wasn't a stripper,

921
01:03:16,140 --> 01:03:20,318
I wouldn't spend so much
money on dyeing my hair.

922
01:03:20,448 --> 01:03:23,060
I wouldn't be buying makeup.

923
01:03:23,190 --> 01:03:25,802
I wouldn't be doing this
stuff if I wasn't a stripper.

924
01:03:25,932 --> 01:03:29,327
My day-to-day life, I don't
wear makeup, I have a hard time,

925
01:03:29,457 --> 01:03:31,242
I struggle with
having long hair.

926
01:03:31,329 --> 01:03:34,636
I think if I wasn't a stripper,
I would've shaved my head

927
01:03:34,767 --> 01:03:36,551
probably five years ago,

928
01:03:36,682 --> 01:03:41,426
but it's something that I
have to do to make money.

929
01:03:43,428 --> 01:03:45,952
I am a luxury product.

930
01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:51,001
So I have to spend time and
money into being luxury.

931
01:03:57,703 --> 01:04:00,967
I knew at a very young age
that I always wanted boobs.

932
01:04:01,098 --> 01:04:03,361
So it's something
that I did for myself.

933
01:04:03,448 --> 01:04:06,494
It has nothing to do with
the strip club at all.

934
01:04:06,625 --> 01:04:09,062
But I did go ahead
after a few years

935
01:04:09,193 --> 01:04:11,021
of working in a strip club,

936
01:04:11,151 --> 01:04:15,416
get a breast augmentation
and it made the money go up.

937
01:04:18,158 --> 01:04:21,248
I started getting tattoos
at a very young age,

938
01:04:21,335 --> 01:04:23,947
which was a very bad decision.

939
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:29,604
All my tattoos were between
the age of 15 and 19.

940
01:04:29,691 --> 01:04:33,043
And I almost hate every
single last one of them.

941
01:04:40,224 --> 01:04:41,965
- Confidence is everything.

942
01:04:42,095 --> 01:04:43,923
If you don't have confidence,

943
01:04:44,054 --> 01:04:48,580
you are going to get ate the
fuck up in this industry,

944
01:04:48,710 --> 01:04:51,278
not just by the girls,
but by the customers,

945
01:04:51,365 --> 01:04:53,585
and yourself especially.

946
01:04:53,672 --> 01:04:56,109
These strip clubs out
here in Las Vegas,

947
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,372
all you see is plastic.

948
01:04:58,459 --> 01:05:00,548
And that's a reason
why I do so well

949
01:05:00,679 --> 01:05:04,944
is because I'm not plastic,
I have real features on me.

950
01:05:06,685 --> 01:05:07,816
Perfect.

951
01:05:07,947 --> 01:05:09,340
And you can squeeze my breasts

952
01:05:09,470 --> 01:05:11,081
and not think
you're gonna pop it.

953
01:05:13,953 --> 01:05:17,000
The majority of the women in
there have their breasts done

954
01:05:17,087 --> 01:05:21,352
and they have some type of
ass implant or a hip sculpted,

955
01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:25,922
or maybe a rib or two taken
out, shit, I don't know.

956
01:05:26,052 --> 01:05:27,358
They look good though .

957
01:05:33,842 --> 01:05:35,670
- I used to be a very
depressed person.

958
01:05:35,757 --> 01:05:36,889
I used to cut myself.

959
01:05:37,542 --> 01:05:39,500
I used to do all
types of crazy things.

960
01:05:39,631 --> 01:05:43,200
And so, instead of harming
myself, I'll go get a tattoo

961
01:05:43,287 --> 01:05:45,767
if I really feel down.

962
01:05:47,073 --> 01:05:50,816
And then the tattoo on my neck,
it was on my 13th birthday.

963
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:54,298
I went to the hood, did it
with a homemade tattoo gun.

964
01:05:54,428 --> 01:05:56,343
It is my Zodiac sign.

965
01:05:56,474 --> 01:05:58,780
No, it does not look like what
it's supposed to look like.

966
01:06:09,530 --> 01:06:12,620
- You can be your own
biggest critic, honestly.

967
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:17,016
Sometimes I'm like,
yes, I'm that bitch.

968
01:06:17,147 --> 01:06:18,626
I look bomb, I look good.

969
01:06:21,455 --> 01:06:24,197
My body really fluctuates a lot.

970
01:06:24,328 --> 01:06:26,591
You're going to be thicker,
you're going to be skinnier,

971
01:06:26,678 --> 01:06:28,810
you're going to be stronger,
you're going to be weaker.

972
01:06:28,941 --> 01:06:31,248
All you can do when
your body fluctuates

973
01:06:31,378 --> 01:06:34,642
is just love it in
every form it's in.

974
01:06:56,664 --> 01:06:58,623
Another way that I
love to express myself

975
01:06:58,753 --> 01:07:01,060
is through my tattoos
and body mods.

976
01:07:02,670 --> 01:07:04,368
I started getting tattoos
when I was younger.

977
01:07:04,498 --> 01:07:05,760
My parents bought
me my first one

978
01:07:05,891 --> 01:07:07,240
when I was 16 for my birthday.

979
01:07:10,243 --> 01:07:11,549
Just like the walls of my house,

980
01:07:12,115 --> 01:07:13,594
I loved how I could
take something the way

981
01:07:14,204 --> 01:07:16,989
that I see the world and put
it just right up on my body.

982
01:07:18,338 --> 01:07:19,383
It's another way for me

983
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:22,777
to show what I'm about
through piercing.

984
01:07:22,908 --> 01:07:24,518
I do have my tongue split.

985
01:07:32,831 --> 01:07:34,659
- Hi Ryan.

986
01:07:34,789 --> 01:07:37,792
- I started playing hockey

987
01:07:37,923 --> 01:07:40,839
when I was about five years old.

988
01:07:40,969 --> 01:07:44,582
I liked being aggressive
and pushing boys around.

989
01:07:44,712 --> 01:07:46,236
It made me feel very powerful.

990
01:07:53,417 --> 01:07:54,722
- Whoa, that was a shot.

991
01:07:56,376 --> 01:07:58,204
- I really prioritize playtime.

992
01:07:58,335 --> 01:08:01,729
I think playing just
for the sake of play

993
01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:04,210
is the best thing I can
do for my mental health.

994
01:08:04,297 --> 01:08:09,607
And so, being able to play
hockey and get a workout in,

995
01:08:10,477 --> 01:08:11,522
it's fantastic and it's so fun.

996
01:08:18,398 --> 01:08:20,096
- When I light my sage,

997
01:08:20,226 --> 01:08:22,663
It's the first thing
that I do in the morning.

998
01:08:22,794 --> 01:08:27,581
It gets rid of all the bad
energies that's in the house.

999
01:08:35,067 --> 01:08:39,289
I light my candles for
peace and for protection.

1000
01:08:39,419 --> 01:08:43,119
It just helps me set
the tone for my day.

1001
01:08:43,249 --> 01:08:45,512
If I don't do it, the
whole day is out of whack.

1002
01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:57,872
- Anytime I can take a day
off, get out the house,

1003
01:08:58,003 --> 01:09:01,615
be in the desert, hiking,
fuck yeah, bring it on.

1004
01:09:03,313 --> 01:09:08,231
I try to keep a balance
of being September

1005
01:09:10,363 --> 01:09:11,930
and being who I am at home.

1006
01:09:12,060 --> 01:09:13,975
And when you live
in a city like this

1007
01:09:14,106 --> 01:09:15,629
that never fucking sleeps,

1008
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:18,850
it is so hard to
keep that balance.

1009
01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:29,382
- All
right, can you hear me?

1010
01:09:30,122 --> 01:09:30,775
- Yes.
- All right, cool.

1011
01:09:31,515 --> 01:09:32,168
We're gonna run it
from the top, okay?

1012
01:09:33,212 --> 01:09:34,082
- Okay.
- You ready?

1013
01:09:34,213 --> 01:09:35,867
- Mm-hmm.

1014
01:09:36,433 --> 01:09:40,785
Making music has been more
of an eye opening experience

1015
01:09:42,134 --> 01:09:43,788
when I'm sober.

1016
01:10:02,676 --> 01:10:04,939
I am so much more clear headed.

1017
01:10:05,070 --> 01:10:07,203
I feel so much more inspired.

1018
01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:09,814
My whole entire life I was
saying I've wrote poems,

1019
01:10:09,944 --> 01:10:13,470
and my vision is
becoming a reality,

1020
01:10:13,557 --> 01:10:17,038
because now I can
clearly see that vision.

1021
01:10:17,169 --> 01:10:22,087
I'm not drunk, I'm not high.

1022
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:23,567
He'll send me beats and
I'll go through them,

1023
01:10:23,697 --> 01:10:26,091
choose ones that I
feel most inspired by.

1024
01:10:26,222 --> 01:10:28,006
And then, I will just
start writing from there.

1025
01:10:28,136 --> 01:10:30,661
Like this song right
here, I love this beat.

1026
01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:33,098
I started writing
to it the other day

1027
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:36,275
and I just instantly
just started going at it.

1028
01:10:36,406 --> 01:10:38,364
And then now to finish the song,

1029
01:10:38,495 --> 01:10:40,801
I'm finding some
interesting words

1030
01:10:40,888 --> 01:10:43,630
to use just to make it music.

1031
01:10:43,761 --> 01:10:46,024
If I'm having a creative block,

1032
01:10:46,154 --> 01:10:48,766
I'll open up the
dictionary, just randomly.

1033
01:10:48,896 --> 01:10:50,028
I'll find one of the words,

1034
01:10:50,768 --> 01:10:52,248
and then I'll use that
to start a verse with,

1035
01:10:52,378 --> 01:10:55,686
I'll go to Google and
I'll try to other meanings

1036
01:10:55,816 --> 01:10:57,340
or other words that
match with that.

1037
01:10:57,470 --> 01:10:59,907
I'll go to the thesaurus,
flip through that,

1038
01:11:00,038 --> 01:11:02,910
see if I can find something
more creative in there.

1039
01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:06,087
And I just try to fact check
what I'm writing, just in case.

1040
01:11:06,218 --> 01:11:08,699
You never know if someone's
gonna fact check you.

1041
01:11:08,829 --> 01:11:10,483
So, I fact check myself first.

1042
01:11:19,362 --> 01:11:20,232
- That
was a great take.

1043
01:11:20,363 --> 01:11:21,538
- Okay yeah.

1044
01:11:28,632 --> 01:11:30,721
- I changed my degree to
computational mathematics.

1045
01:11:30,851 --> 01:11:32,026
Not because I was good at math,

1046
01:11:32,592 --> 01:11:34,638
but because it was
interesting to me,

1047
01:11:34,725 --> 01:11:37,945
and I really like
reading math books,

1048
01:11:38,076 --> 01:11:40,557
books about math in
terms of the universe.

1049
01:11:40,687 --> 01:11:42,341
And so, I don't like
reading fiction,

1050
01:11:42,428 --> 01:11:44,952
I don't like reading
stories about stuff.

1051
01:11:47,433 --> 01:11:50,088
- My love of reading,
it followed all the way

1052
01:11:50,218 --> 01:11:52,699
into adulthood,
to say the least.

1053
01:11:52,830 --> 01:11:54,310
I read every day.

1054
01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:56,747
If I am not physically
reading a book,

1055
01:11:56,877 --> 01:12:00,359
I'm listening to
a book on Audible.

1056
01:12:00,490 --> 01:12:04,755
I've currently just finished
reading "The Metamorphosis".

1057
01:12:04,885 --> 01:12:07,975
I've read that book for
probably the fourth time.

1058
01:12:11,544 --> 01:12:13,894
- I learned how to
code Python in college.

1059
01:12:14,025 --> 01:12:18,421
And I've been teaching myself
web design out of college,

1060
01:12:19,726 --> 01:12:22,381
JavaScript, HTML with CSS.

1061
01:12:22,512 --> 01:12:24,775
It just feels like another
way to use my skills

1062
01:12:24,905 --> 01:12:28,344
and kind of abstract them
and apply them to new things.

1063
01:12:28,474 --> 01:12:32,435
Right now, I'm working on
a website, just my website.

1064
01:12:33,653 --> 01:12:36,395
It's been really fun to
make just from scratch.

1065
01:12:45,186 --> 01:12:49,321
Chess is a really a
mathematical, logical game.

1066
01:12:49,452 --> 01:12:54,413
And it's funny, I've
actually started playing chess

1067
01:12:56,067 --> 01:12:58,156
with people from OnlyFans.

1068
01:12:58,286 --> 01:13:01,202
And if they lose,
they have to pay me.

1069
01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:04,641
And if I lose, I
send them a nude.

1070
01:13:04,771 --> 01:13:09,210
And I haven't lost yet.

1071
01:13:12,083 --> 01:13:14,433
- I used to watch
"Being Mary Jane" a lot.

1072
01:13:14,564 --> 01:13:18,655
And I kinda took from her when
she would write her quotes

1073
01:13:18,785 --> 01:13:22,963
on a sticky note and place
them on her room window.

1074
01:13:23,094 --> 01:13:25,183
Whenever I'm having a rough day

1075
01:13:25,313 --> 01:13:27,272
or even if I'm not
having a rough day

1076
01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:29,709
and I just walk past and I stop,

1077
01:13:29,796 --> 01:13:32,451
and it's normally the
first one that I look at

1078
01:13:32,582 --> 01:13:36,542
that has the most relevance
to me for that time.

1079
01:13:36,673 --> 01:13:40,372
And it's just another
way of humbling me

1080
01:13:40,459 --> 01:13:45,203
and just another comfort,
coping mechanism for my anxiety.

1081
01:13:51,688 --> 01:13:53,690
- My favorite thing
to do on my time off

1082
01:13:53,777 --> 01:13:55,169
is absolutely nothing.

1083
01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:58,085
The club itself is the party.

1084
01:13:58,172 --> 01:14:00,566
I need to recuperate
from the night before.

1085
01:14:00,697 --> 01:14:04,570
So a lot of times, I
prefer to just relax,

1086
01:14:04,657 --> 01:14:07,660
smoke some weed, allow
my body to recuperate,

1087
01:14:07,747 --> 01:14:10,707
not really force
it to do so much.

1088
01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:15,842
- Just sleep, that's
the best thing is sleep.

1089
01:14:23,589 --> 01:14:27,985
Just being here
with my daughter,
ultimately being a mom,

1090
01:14:28,115 --> 01:14:30,770
it's everything that I live for.

1091
01:14:32,163 --> 01:14:35,601
I got her a puppy almost
two years ago now,

1092
01:14:35,732 --> 01:14:38,082
and her name is Sugar.

1093
01:14:39,344 --> 01:14:41,738
She has a very big personality
for such a little dog.

1094
01:14:41,868 --> 01:14:43,653
She thinks she's a pit bull.

1095
01:14:43,783 --> 01:14:46,003
I think Sugar helped
my daughter a lot

1096
01:14:46,133 --> 01:14:48,135
with not feeling alone.

1097
01:14:49,789 --> 01:14:53,532
- My little babies,
this right here is Arya.

1098
01:14:55,578 --> 01:14:58,319
I have three cats altogether.

1099
01:14:58,450 --> 01:15:01,322
I also have a snake and a gecko,

1100
01:15:02,628 --> 01:15:04,456
my little scaly babies .

1101
01:15:05,631 --> 01:15:07,851
They definitely have
helped me to stay grounded

1102
01:15:07,981 --> 01:15:12,116
and just kind of have
something nice, and soft,

1103
01:15:12,246 --> 01:15:16,163
and so sweet to come
home and cuddle up to.

1104
01:15:24,781 --> 01:15:25,521
- Denali .

1105
01:15:31,918 --> 01:15:35,139
Oh, well.

1106
01:15:35,269 --> 01:15:37,576
Huskies are really human like.

1107
01:15:37,663 --> 01:15:40,971
They are almost
like monkey status.

1108
01:15:41,101 --> 01:15:43,234
Denali played a huge role

1109
01:15:43,364 --> 01:15:45,802
with the pandemic and
my support system,

1110
01:15:45,932 --> 01:15:48,631
because she's so human like,

1111
01:15:48,718 --> 01:15:52,199
that I almost felt like she
heard me and she understood me.

1112
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,465
I don't think I chose Denali,
I think Denali chose me.

1113
01:16:01,382 --> 01:16:03,428
- So, I live with
two boys .

1114
01:16:04,342 --> 01:16:07,214
Where are they
at, boys ?

1115
01:16:07,301 --> 01:16:09,652
They're brothers, I
love them so much.

1116
01:16:09,739 --> 01:16:11,001
They bring me a lot of company,

1117
01:16:11,131 --> 01:16:12,263
they bring me a lot of joy,

1118
01:16:12,872 --> 01:16:14,395
and it's really nice
having them around,

1119
01:16:14,526 --> 01:16:16,484
even though they fuck
everything up .

1120
01:16:16,615 --> 01:16:19,226
You're so dirty, I feel so bad.

1121
01:16:27,017 --> 01:16:28,975
- Blake, Blake, Blake,

1122
01:16:29,106 --> 01:16:33,937
Blake, Blakey, he is my
puppy, he's six months.

1123
01:16:35,416 --> 01:16:38,028
Just looking at him
and how happy he is,

1124
01:16:38,115 --> 01:16:41,248
it really makes my heart smile.

1125
01:16:51,824 --> 01:16:56,699
- Bailey, shake, shake,
nice to meet you.

1126
01:16:56,829 --> 01:16:58,701
We had horses when
I was younger.

1127
01:16:58,831 --> 01:17:01,138
And the connection that
I've had with Bailey

1128
01:17:01,268 --> 01:17:04,576
has been so special.

1129
01:17:04,707 --> 01:17:05,577
Good girl.

1130
01:17:06,752 --> 01:17:09,276
We've kind of grown together.

1131
01:17:09,407 --> 01:17:11,191
We were both kids
when I first got her

1132
01:17:11,322 --> 01:17:14,934
and we were both teenagers
at the same time.

1133
01:17:15,065 --> 01:17:18,721
And we both have angsty,
bitchy personalities.

1134
01:17:21,593 --> 01:17:22,812
We just grew up together.

1135
01:17:23,377 --> 01:17:26,206
And so we would be
running down the beach,

1136
01:17:26,293 --> 01:17:29,427
bare back in bikinis, and
we would go in the water,

1137
01:17:29,557 --> 01:17:31,385
and we would go
swimming afterwards.

1138
01:17:31,516 --> 01:17:34,258
And she was enjoying
every single minute of it.

1139
01:17:40,003 --> 01:17:45,138
Zoey.

1140
01:18:01,067 --> 01:18:03,330
- I've never
had stability growing up.

1141
01:18:05,028 --> 01:18:06,769
- So, we already
talked about this prior

1142
01:18:06,899 --> 01:18:09,728
to coming here, but that's
three bedrooms, two baths.

1143
01:18:09,859 --> 01:18:13,645
All right, so come on in,
we have an open floor plan,

1144
01:18:13,776 --> 01:18:15,908
and then there is
a next gen suite.

1145
01:18:16,039 --> 01:18:18,084
- It doesn't even
look that big from outside.

1146
01:18:18,215 --> 01:18:20,304
- Yeah, I know,
it's kind of a longer one.

1147
01:18:20,434 --> 01:18:21,653
I used to be in the industry,

1148
01:18:22,393 --> 01:18:24,003
I used to be a cocktail
waitress at .

1149
01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:27,485
And so I know that your money
is, it comes on the track,

1150
01:18:27,615 --> 01:18:29,617
it comes fast and
it's in the bank.

1151
01:18:30,836 --> 01:18:33,404
So, what they can do is
statements based loans.

1152
01:18:33,534 --> 01:18:35,536
So they're able to look
at your bank statements

1153
01:18:35,667 --> 01:18:39,627
and determine what you
make every day or monthly.

1154
01:18:40,628 --> 01:18:42,935
- I'm just trying
to live my dream.

1155
01:18:43,066 --> 01:18:46,678
I'm trying to raise the best
human that I possibly can

1156
01:18:46,809 --> 01:18:49,159
and make sure that my
brothers and sisters

1157
01:18:49,289 --> 01:18:50,987
have somebody to look up to.

1158
01:18:53,206 --> 01:18:55,861
I'm just trying to do
what I believe everybody

1159
01:18:55,948 --> 01:19:00,083
should be doing, and that's
just living my best life.

1160
01:19:00,170 --> 01:19:05,088
I just want to live the rest
of my life to the fullest

1161
01:19:06,742 --> 01:19:08,787
and embrace all my flaws,
and all my struggles,

1162
01:19:08,918 --> 01:19:12,225
and everything that I went
through because that's who I am.

1163
01:19:15,272 --> 01:19:17,622
- Everything was
a choice for me.

1164
01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:22,670
It wasn't forced upon me and
I happen to like being sexy,

1165
01:19:23,541 --> 01:19:25,021
and that's a choice.

1166
01:19:25,151 --> 01:19:27,980
So, not every girl
wants to be a teacher.

1167
01:19:28,111 --> 01:19:31,592
Some women like to fucking
take their clothes off

1168
01:19:31,723 --> 01:19:33,638
and make money,
it's okay .

1169
01:19:37,337 --> 01:19:39,644
- I really enjoy dancing.

1170
01:19:39,731 --> 01:19:43,256
I really enjoy being able
to turn someone on so much.

1171
01:19:43,387 --> 01:19:47,391
And at the same time,
I'm not into it at all.

1172
01:19:49,393 --> 01:19:52,657
Me, myself, I'm queer,
I'm pretty asexual.

1173
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:56,400
The intimacy that I have with
my friends is enough for me.

1174
01:19:56,530 --> 01:19:58,794
I don't need romantic
relationships.

1175
01:19:58,924 --> 01:20:03,320
I don't need sex in my life
to be a complete person.

1176
01:20:03,450 --> 01:20:05,322
It's not something that I crave.

1177
01:20:05,452 --> 01:20:08,194
And so, I don't feel
the sexual attraction

1178
01:20:08,325 --> 01:20:10,240
that they're feeling regardless.

1179
01:20:10,370 --> 01:20:12,633
And so, it keeps me focused.

1180
01:20:12,764 --> 01:20:14,287
And at the same time,
it's kind of ironic.

1181
01:20:14,418 --> 01:20:15,419
It's kind of funny.

1182
01:20:18,901 --> 01:20:22,818
There's so many
stigmas around dancing

1183
01:20:22,948 --> 01:20:27,561
and around being slutty that
are hard to conceptualize

1184
01:20:28,911 --> 01:20:31,130
when you don't
have sex, I guess.

1185
01:20:34,568 --> 01:20:37,136
- It's the world looks
down on us like crazy.

1186
01:20:37,267 --> 01:20:41,445
We need just more
places where we

1187
01:20:41,575 --> 01:20:43,839
could be ourselves
unapologetically

1188
01:20:43,969 --> 01:20:47,930
and just be able to
strive and be successful.

1189
01:20:49,192 --> 01:20:51,847
- Don't really match my
house though, gaso, gaso.

1190
01:20:51,977 --> 01:20:53,936
- Thank you

1191
01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:56,852
so much, congratulations
on your new place.

1192
01:20:56,982 --> 01:20:58,505
- Thank
you, I appreciate it.

1193
01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:03,859
What it's like having my
first place is amazing.

1194
01:21:03,989 --> 01:21:05,338
I feel so much more stable.

1195
01:21:05,425 --> 01:21:07,253
I feel so much more happy.

1196
01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,647
I feel so much more responsible.

1197
01:21:16,175 --> 01:21:18,874
I have only started doing
this, it's been what,

1198
01:21:19,004 --> 01:21:22,790
two, three months in the
process of changing my diet,

1199
01:21:22,921 --> 01:21:27,578
changing my life, being
sober, being clear headed,

1200
01:21:28,405 --> 01:21:29,145
and not partying.

1201
01:21:30,798 --> 01:21:32,452
It's all a work in progress.

1202
01:21:41,113 --> 01:21:44,377
- I've never really been
the type to think too far

1203
01:21:44,508 --> 01:21:46,597
into the future.

1204
01:21:46,727 --> 01:21:50,079
I don't even know what
I'm going to do tomorrow.

1205
01:21:50,209 --> 01:21:53,952
So, I just kinda
take it day by day.

1206
01:21:54,083 --> 01:21:56,737
And I really try to
live in the moment.

1207
01:21:58,478 --> 01:22:03,396
Always remember to
keep yourself first.

1208
01:22:05,050 --> 01:22:06,965
Decision-making isn't
easy, but it's necessary.

1209
01:22:07,096 --> 01:22:10,447
So, always try to make
the best decision for you.

1210
01:22:14,625 --> 01:22:16,975
- So one thing about stripping,

1211
01:22:17,106 --> 01:22:19,412
I always say it
has a shelf life.

1212
01:22:19,499 --> 01:22:21,501
Milk has an expiration date.

1213
01:22:21,632 --> 01:22:23,982
You gotta get out while
you're still good,

1214
01:22:24,069 --> 01:22:24,940
before you expire.

1215
01:22:26,506 --> 01:22:30,293
You don't wanna be the girl
that they threw you out.

1216
01:22:30,423 --> 01:22:33,818
You definitely
wanna be the girl that said,

1217
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:36,908
okay, I'm done,
you're welcome .

1218
01:22:50,530 --> 01:22:52,010
- It's really cool to see

1219
01:22:52,141 --> 01:22:55,057
that some of the life is
coming back into Vegas.

1220
01:22:55,144 --> 01:22:57,668
Some of the casinos are open.

1221
01:22:57,798 --> 01:22:59,017
Clubs are opening up.

1222
01:22:59,104 --> 01:23:00,497
People are out on the streets,

1223
01:23:00,584 --> 01:23:02,455
the streets aren't
empty anymore.

1224
01:23:02,586 --> 01:23:05,719
There is a sense of hope
that this city is resilient

1225
01:23:05,850 --> 01:23:09,158
and strong and that
things will come back.

1226
01:23:09,288 --> 01:23:12,074
Vegas will be Vegas again.

1227
01:23:13,292 --> 01:23:17,340
It'll be full of people,
packed clubs, all of that.

1228
01:23:17,470 --> 01:23:21,997
And a pandemic that's put
the world to its knees

1229
01:23:23,389 --> 01:23:27,045
still can't get Vegas down.