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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[Luke] I remember
Nasty Cathy and Russell

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00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,659
were out at the farm,

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00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,394
I'm probably 12, 13 years old,

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00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:30,463
Russell's
a little bit older than me,

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00:00:30,496 --> 00:00:33,800
and every once in a while,
they'd give us a drink, right?

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00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,536
Give us one little drink,
you know?

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00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,370
Everything's
fucking gross when you're a kid.

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00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:38,805
Beer is nasty.

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00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,542
Whiskey is disgusting.

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00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,678
But Cathy gave me
a little Solo Cup

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00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,247
of a White Russian,
which is what she drank.

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00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,116
She called them her milkshake.

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00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:50,984
[chuckles]

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00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,419
<i>And it was</i>
<i>the first alcohol drink</i>

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00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:57,257
that, you know, you can
actually stomach as a kid.

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00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:00,493
It's like, "I don't mind
drinking this," you know?

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00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,729
So Russell and I were drinking
White Russians in my room

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00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,431
while our parents were out
playing cards or whatever.

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00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,234
And he said,

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00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:10,470
"Yeah, back when our moms
worked at the Red Dog."

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00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,473
I was like, "Yeah, but my mom,
she was just a bartender."

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And he's like, "No, man.
Our moms were dancers."

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00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,480
And I don't know if‐‐

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00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,683
I didn't really believe him
for a second

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00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,718
and eventually I asked my mom,

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00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,688
"Did you dance at the Red Dog?"

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00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:31,558
And she eventually
came clean and said, you know,

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00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,560
"Yeah, I did that."

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Of course,
now she spills it all.

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[country music plays]

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00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:47,708
♪ Baby, take me Oklahome ♪

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00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,643
♪ Take me home,
take me home again ♪

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00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:53,680
♪ Baby, take me Oklahome ♪

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00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,149
♪ Out of the road again ♪

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00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,852
♪ So if you wanna reach me ♪

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00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,555
♪ Come and take it real easy ♪

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00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,592
♪ Baby, take me Oklahome ♪

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00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,228
♪ Take me home,
take me home again ♪

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00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,372
[Luke]
By the time I really started

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having memories as a kid,

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my mom was working
at the Red Dog.

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00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,346
The place was just full
of lights,

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00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:29,182
full of neon lights,
full of video game lights,

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and was almost magical to me.

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00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,453
It was almost a treat
to get to go.

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I think I even remember
at one point

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00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,323
there was a projector,

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00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:41,528
and they were projecting
cartoons onto the wall for me.

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00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:46,466
[lively music playing]

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00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,870
[Luke] Now here I am
showing cartoons to my own kids.

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00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:55,876
I love being a dad and I love
getting to write songs

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00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:56,777
and perform for a living.

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00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,280
[man] Special thanks
to Luke Dick.

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00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,849
Thank you, Luke.
Love you, buddy.

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00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,651
[Luke] I count it
as a small miracle.

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00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,386
I was able to get
a good education

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00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,289
and now my daughter's
headed off to college.

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00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,424
Emily's graduation.

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00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:13,527
[Luke] I'm sitting here
as a dad trying to figure out

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00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,961
how to parent and wondering,

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you know, how the fuck my mom

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00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,432
took me from the Red Dog
to where I am now.

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00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:24,304
This must have been
five or ten years ago,

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00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:26,807
I was back in Oklahoma, I was
living in New York at the time.

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I pointed a camera at my mom

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00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,478
and just started asking her

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00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,014
things like what was
the weirdest thing

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that ever happened
at the Red Dog.

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00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,384
And so she starts giving me
all these stories,

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00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:42,022
and I remember
from the first time...

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00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,289
[Luke chuckles]

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00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,891
I was just, like,

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00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:48,895
nothing remotely
as fucking crazy as that

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00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,598
has ever happened
to me in my entire life.

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[Luke chuckles]

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00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:56,402
And if this
is the tip of the iceberg

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for her lifestyle
when she was 20,

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00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:03,343
I have to go back
and hear more of these stories.

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00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:09,315
How much has your mom
told you really?

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00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,985
[laughing] I don't know.

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00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,488
I don't know
why you're doing this,

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00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,358
but it's not
because you love me.

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[Luke laughs]

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She got madder and madder
as this project went on.

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00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,365
[laughs]

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00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:30,036
[country music playing]

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00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,708
[Luke chuckles]

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00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,043
I don't know
what the fuck I'm doing.

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00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,980
[laughs]

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00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,351
[country music plays]

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00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,031
[Luke] My mom grew up
in this little farming community

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00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,033
in Colorado,

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00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,735
never really liked her home life

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00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,837
and wound up
getting married at 15.

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00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,740
And I never really knew
anything about it,

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00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,309
except she married
some dude named Greg.

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00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,079
[Kim] I remember
my best friend at the time

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00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:16,650
going, "Oh, we need to go down
and buy you a sexy nightgown."

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00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,620
JCPenney's was the only goddamn
store in town and I didn't‐‐

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Back then, they didn't have
no sexy nightgowns.

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And I just was thinking,
"For what?"

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[Luke] So mom's,
like, 15 and a newlywed,

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and they decide to hop
in my granddad's old milk truck

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and go to Oklahoma City
to take a construction job.

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[announcer]
See those tall buildings?

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Well, there's a favorite slogan
describing Oklahoma City

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that says, "From teepees
to towers" in a few short years.

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[Kim] I remember
this one party that we went to,

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and then I was going,
"All right," you know.

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It was like, okay, it's a party.

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It's, you know,
like, being normal.

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I thought
we were gonna have, like,

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chips and dip
and shit like this.

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And we go over there

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and they say, you know,
"You want some tea?"

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You know, I thought,

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"Oh, they drink what, sweet tea

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00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,801
or, you know, what do we have,

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00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,069
an iced tea or something here?"

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Well, it was fucking THC.

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I didn't‐‐ I thought there
were, like, gonna be tea bags

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in the kitchen
or something like that.

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Take a big old scoop of it,
fucking snorted it

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and it just like‐‐

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I was just like...

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Pfft.

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And Bob goes, "Okay,
we're gonna put on movies."

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And it's like, "Where's
the fucking popcorn?"

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And, you know, that's
how young I was, you know.

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Well, it's fucking movies of‐‐

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Sex movies, like a bang, bang,
you know?

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And I'm just going like...

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00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,470
"Yeah, of course, now I'm high."

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And I'm going,
"What the shit?" you know.

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And it's like Pete's man
walks up to the door

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and he starts whatever.

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And then I noticed
the bathroom door come up

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and I could see this light

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00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,883
and I turned around,
and here came Bob,

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which was the old man
who lived in the apartment,

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who was having the party,
come walking out naked.

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I'm telling you, this guy was
fucking 60 and skinny and saggy

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00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,932
and came over there and sat down
beside me and said,

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00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,501
"You're‐‐
Are you enjoying the show,

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'cause you're gonna be
my partner for the night."

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And I'm like,

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"I don't care
how fucked up I get,

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this ain't part of me."

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00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,010
And I just got up
and I told Greg,

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"I wanna leave now."

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And he's already
all over somebody.

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So I just went out
in the milk truck

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and fell asleep

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00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:36,657
and let them have
their little party of sex.

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I just didn't know
what the fuck that was.

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[announcer] There's always
something going on

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00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,565
in Oklahoma City,

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00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,199
something new and constructive

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00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:48,735
adding to the pleasure
of folks who live here.

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[Kim] All I remember
is that I went in there,

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and there was three
or four girls,

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and they're dancing and shit

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and now you need to get
in the dance contest above all.

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00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,217
And I still had baby fat on me
at the time.

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00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:08,088
I mean, I was 14, 15 years old,
so I was‐‐

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00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:11,558
I felt I was pudgy,
but I could dance.

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00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,826
I knew I could dance.

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<i>So I went and invested three</i>
<i>dollars in a pair of pasties</i>

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00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,965
and the next week I went
up there and‐‐

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Like old music,

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00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,802
like the Isley Brothers

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00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,737
and shit like that
was on the jukebox,

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00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,539
which was right up my alley.

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00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,741
You know, that's‐‐
that was all sex music to me,

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00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,543
and I could act
like I was doing sex.

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00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:34,114
I really didn't know
how to do sex, but I‐‐

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00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,249
I sure acted like I could.

180
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:40,220
So I went‐‐ I ended up going out
there, I won the dance contest.

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[applause]

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00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,758
They asked me if I wanted a job.

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I didn't even have a fucking ID,
you know, hell yeah.

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00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:53,600
His job was over, and he wasn't
finding anything, you know.

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00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:54,467
I went down and got, you know.

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00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,003
I just told him,
"I'm divorcing you."

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00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,772
And he said, "I'll send you home
to your mom's,

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00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,641
you're not even old enough
to live on your own.

189
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,776
"I've been supporting you,
motherfucker.

190
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,344
And I've got to, you know‐‐"

191
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:09,015
I mean, we actually
had stub‐‐ paycheck stubs.

192
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,317
"You know, where's your
paycheck stub, son of a bitch?

193
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,220
No, you're living
up my ass, you know."

194
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,189
So, yeah, fuck you.

195
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,223
Fuck you.

196
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,159
[country music plays]

197
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,604
[Luke] So was the Red Dog
a pretty popular place?

198
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:31,872
[all] Oh, yeah.

199
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,039
Real popular.

200
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,374
Hell, I've been up
all over the world.

201
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:38,044
Hell, the Red Dog,
pretty much a landmark.

202
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,179
[Connie] Nationwide.

203
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,782
Anybody came to Oklahoma City,
they came to Red Dog.

204
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:46,887
[Randy] It started out
an automotive alignment shop,

205
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,657
and that's where they came up
with the sunken bar,

206
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:54,628
because that's where the cars
used to drive out over the pit.

207
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,630
They just built
a little stem wall

208
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,999
and built the bar in the pit.

209
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,066
Have you ever seen Silkwood?

210
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,068
<i>You see that part</i>
<i>in the movie where they go?</i>

211
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,336
Curtis is out working late, huh?

212
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,138
Out partying at Red Dog.

213
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,840
Come on, Wesley.

214
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,109
We had a big old boom
in the early '80s.

215
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,944
[old newsflash music]

216
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,114
[reporter] Oklahoma City
number one was a gusher.

217
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,051
When he had the oil workers
coming to town,

218
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,220
they were coming to town
to have a good time.

219
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,756
[old newsflash music]

220
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,026
And sometimes
they got a little crazy,

221
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,028
and we had to go in
and try to control some of it.

222
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:32,198
And we would go into the Red Dog
at least once a night probably.

223
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,434
I mean, they‐‐ they
had drown night in there

224
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,939
on Wednesday night, and you
pay three dollars at the door

225
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,076
and just could get hammered
until you couldn't even walk.

226
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,711
When you're 14 or 15
playing the Red Dog,

227
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,146
that will gotta get you going,
man.

228
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,282
[playing the guitar]
I like the show business thing.

229
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:51,217
You know.

230
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,787
My dad used to drive me there.

231
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,689
He'd come in
and hang out way too long,

232
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,257
you know, primping my style.

233
00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,260
I better come in
and check things out.

234
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,962
Yeah, I better come in
and make sure

235
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,797
everything
is all right here, son.

236
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,866
Yeah, my old dad, God bless him.

237
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,033
[playing the guitar]

238
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:11,471
The dancing girls were called
Go‐go girls at the time.

239
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,074
I think they got started
mostly out in California,

240
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,710
in maybe San Francisco.

241
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,012
Go‐go girls got real popular
and they were easy to find.

242
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,748
The farm girls come
to the big city

243
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,750
here in Oklahoma City

244
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,852
imagining
they're gonna get rich.

245
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:29,222
Anyone that grew up in Oklahoma,
if they hear my last name,

246
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,090
they immediately jump to,

247
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,425
"Oh, Ray Mackey,
you know, Red Dog,"

248
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,127
you know, and‐‐ and‐‐

249
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,962
You know, I've never been able
to be a stranger

250
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,364
anywhere in Oklahoma
to people that grew up here.

251
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,866
They feel like they know me.

252
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,301
They feel
like they know my father.

253
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,870
Every single one of them
has a crazy story,

254
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,305
of stuff that happened here.

255
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,940
Ray Mackey, he was always in

256
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:49,976
for short legs,
blonde hair and big tits.

257
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,445
It's a wonder they got
any other girls in there

258
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,480
because that's all
he ever wanted,

259
00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:57,350
was blond hair,
big tits, and short legs.

260
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,787
[woman] Remember when he used to
have the pictures of everybody?

261
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,189
He'd have some dancers
go out to the lake

262
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,527
and be on a boat topless
and then he chose slides.

263
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,362
[Connie] Yes, he'd play him
at the Red Dog going all night

264
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,897
of the people
he had out on his boat.

265
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,033
[Kim]
I could imagine this thing

266
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,935
going around and around
in circles

267
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,838
with, like, these little things
with girls with tits,

268
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,339
girls with tits,
girls with tits.

269
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:20,273
That's all they were‐‐

270
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,909
<i>and bikini bottoms,</i>
<i>girls with tits,</i>

271
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,879
girls with tits,
Ray's girls with tits.

272
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,015
Anything went,
you know, bare bones, man.

273
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,217
That place was sin.

274
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,285
God bless it.

275
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,854
[chuckles]

276
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,094
Back then, driver's license
didn't even have

277
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,428
pictures on them in Oklahoma.

278
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:46,199
Ten bucks,
you could fucking buy an ID.

279
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,134
You know, it made me
old enough to work there.

280
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,804
You had to be 18
at the time, you know.

281
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,508
And I thought
you can either fuck around

282
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,410
and get really fucked up
and not give a shit

283
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,379
or you could make some money.

284
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:02,482
I am helping take care
of my four younger brothers

285
00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:04,417
and sisters plus two cousins.

286
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,319
My mom and dad are both working
their tails off,

287
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,988
but I don't see it that way.

288
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,990
I see it as I'm having to do
this stuff,

289
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,358
I'm not being able to be a kid.

290
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,460
Well, I'll just show them,
I'll go be an adult.

291
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,097
I left, I ran away.

292
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,000
And that was my first
introduction to the Red Dog.

293
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,602
They said,
"You ought to get a job here."

294
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:25,539
And I did dance that time,

295
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:29,075
but I was really scared
and nervous.

296
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,176
I mean, this is a huge place.

297
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,078
How many square foot
would you say the Red Dog is?

298
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,348
8,000? 10,000 square foot?

299
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,451
Two bars, bikers everywhere.

300
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,253
‐[Luke] And how old are you?
‐I'm 14 years old.

301
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,622
[chuckles]

302
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,524
It was a little scary.

303
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,526
[Tiny] Our operation
on the south side

304
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,061
got shut down by the police.

305
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,997
I needed a job, you know,
bouncer bartender

306
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,067
and there I found
the Red Dog Saloon.

307
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,902
I asked him
if he needed a bouncer,

308
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,871
and he said,
"No, we got a bouncer."

309
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,506
So I walked over to him
and said,

310
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,074
"Hey, man, you are
the bouncer here?"

311
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,008
And he said, "Yeah."

312
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,110
And about that time,
I dropped him, pow.

313
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:06,446
I turned and hollered,

314
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,215
"Hey, man,
you guys need a bouncer.

315
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,051
This dude's laying down
on the job."

316
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:14,187
And that's how I got
most of my bouncing jobs.

317
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,658
I would go
knock their bouncer out

318
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,560
and take his fucking job.

319
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:20,661
I needed a job.

320
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,563
I was out of a job.

321
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:23,897
I wouldn't dance.

322
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,365
[chuckles]

323
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,000
I was too bashful
and I wouldn't dance,

324
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,368
but I worked the bar.

325
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,571
The lady that worked with me,
she worked topless.

326
00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:33,139
I wouldn't work topless,
I was too embarrassed.

327
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:36,309
I had real long hair
and these big glasses, you know.

328
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,178
And when I wear my hair
in a ponytail,

329
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,480
the guys would say,
"Wonder Woman, get me a beer."

330
00:14:40,514 --> 00:14:42,248
[chuckles]

331
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:45,051
I knew the guy
that managed the place.

332
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,319
His name was Ron Hollis.

333
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,454
We were into cars.

334
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,490
So it was easy to go up there

335
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:53,193
and sit and talk
with an old buddy

336
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,996
and look at the pretty girls
dancing and‐‐

337
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,031
And he goes,
"Well, I need a bartender."

338
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,433
I thought, what the heck,
I'm not doing anything else,

339
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,068
so I'll give it a shot.

340
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:06,406
I was already drinking a lot.

341
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,010
Started testing out other drugs
and other things and‐‐

342
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,012
and it was a party atmosphere.

343
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,648
Our drug intake increased.

344
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:17,450
We were looking for ways
to make money,

345
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:19,319
and they were asking me
why I didn't dance,

346
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,521
and I said, "Oh I can't dance."

347
00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:23,489
<i>And they got me really drunk</i>
<i>and threw me up on stage.</i>

348
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,592
As long as I was drunk,
it was fun.

349
00:15:25,626 --> 00:15:27,661
[Luke] So did you enjoy
working there?

350
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,597
Yeah, I had a blast, man.

351
00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:32,365
[Luke] What was it like?

352
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,434
Fast.

353
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,203
Everything all the time.

354
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,072
[laughs]

355
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,007
Literally.

356
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,676
Everything all the time.

357
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,615
And there's a little business
that opened up

358
00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:51,384
with the brothers
called Hermatic Workshop.

359
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,654
Unusual Things
For The Head and Shed.

360
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,757
We custom catered
to unusual things.

361
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:00,093
And your mom and Tigger
both wanted tattoos.

362
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,664
You know, coming back then,
it was illegal to tattoo.

363
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,032
So...

364
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,433
[Luke] Do you know
how he got his name?

365
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,203
No. no, I just knew him as Tiny.

366
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,072
That's all I knew.

367
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,206
He goes, "What do you want?"

368
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,375
And I said,
"I want a butterfly."

369
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,409
I thought‐‐ I don't‐‐

370
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,444
I don't know, probably
at that time in my life,

371
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:22,182
I thought that was freedom
or some happy‐ass bullshit.

372
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:26,152
You take your pencil,
and you take your single needle,

373
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,121
and you take you some thread,

374
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:31,224
and you latch the needle
to the pencil with the thread.

375
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,059
I'm just gonna
put this out there,

376
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,295
that it was like
a fucking a prison tattoo.

377
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:39,032
[Tiny] You take your ink
and you dip that needle in it,

378
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:42,335
you come over to tattoo
and you just...

379
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:47,040
Like this, one prick at a time.

380
00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:49,109
By hand.

381
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,780
I went over that night,
and it took him forever.

382
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,417
Until the whole tattoo is done.

383
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,152
And it hurt but‐‐

384
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,654
She held still real good.

385
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,623
If she would have...
like this all over the place,

386
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:05,726
it would have took longer,
but she's a little toughie, man.

387
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:10,096
I was so fucked up on downers,
I'm sure downers and booze.

388
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,365
She hung right in there
and didn't make no complaints

389
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,701
or scream or whine or‐‐

390
00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:17,103
Then, "Okay, you'll have
to come back tomorrow

391
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,773
to get the color put in it,"
you know.

392
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,643
Like, oh, yay,
this is gonna even take longer.

393
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:27,480
But I did, I went back,
had the color put in it.

394
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:31,284
We thought it was fucking great,
you know, but, you know,

395
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:34,120
over the years
as I looked at it, I went,

396
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,690
"Oh, geez,
what the fuck was I doing?"

397
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:42,162
Do not put tattoos on place
that when you gain weight‐‐

398
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,230
that it's gonna get fat,
because that butterfly

399
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,266
has went like this
over the years.

400
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,268
I mean, it's‐‐ it's fucked up.

401
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,304
I remember
the first time Danny saw it.

402
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:55,241
He thought that I had a
horrendous birthmark down there.

403
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:59,780
‐[Luke laughs]
‐[Kim chuckles]

404
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:03,116
But I mean, it got done
and I‐‐ I don't know.

405
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:06,152
Who gave a shit, you know?
Back then, who gave a shit.

406
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,624
That was my tattoo.

407
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:14,094
[country music plays]

408
00:18:22,503 --> 00:18:24,605
[Luke] So tell me
about your name.

409
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,207
‐About how I got my name?
‐[Luke] Uh‐huh.

410
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,810
[Tiny laughs]

411
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,377
Okay.

412
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:36,149
Uh, Angels Camp
out in California,

413
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,451
when our club was adopted

414
00:18:38,484 --> 00:18:41,722
by another club
that was bigger than ours

415
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:45,191
and we was in the lake
swimming naked

416
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,593
and I come out.

417
00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:51,464
And my naked gets
dribbled up inside my...

418
00:18:51,497 --> 00:18:53,499
from the cold water.

419
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:56,369
And I got the name Tiny Peter.

420
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,839
Well, that went for
about as long as I cared for it

421
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,907
to go about, and every time
somebody said it, I'll...

422
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,579
I'll go for Tiny,
but leave the Tiny Peter off.

423
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:08,715
It may be tiny, but I got
a 250‐pound‐pile

424
00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:10,416
driving ass behind it.

425
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,485
Just look how many name‐‐
these little girls

426
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,721
got my name
tattooed on their ass.

427
00:19:14,755 --> 00:19:18,191
[country music plays]

428
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:24,531
Those were the big, big nights.

429
00:19:24,565 --> 00:19:27,834
Moneymakers for any club
were the contest nights,

430
00:19:27,868 --> 00:19:29,536
because the guys
would get to come in

431
00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,805
and they could see
a whole variety

432
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,441
of new meat on stage.

433
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,711
We had the dance contest
once a week,

434
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,514
and either Jeanne or Kim
always won.

435
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,549
I mean, it was always
one or the other.

436
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:44,851
"Come on, Janet, come on,
you know, dance, dance."

437
00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:46,520
And would go, "I don't know."

438
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,855
I'll go, "Well, I'll try."

439
00:19:48,889 --> 00:19:51,558
So I got there and I put
my outfit on and everything

440
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,326
and I'd start drinking.

441
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,395
I had to get loose
before I could get up there.

442
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,496
[chuckles]

443
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,999
And so I got too loose

444
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,234
because when I got up there,
I fell flat on my face.

445
00:20:02,736 --> 00:20:06,472
Connie, Kim and Tigger
were the judges

446
00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:10,944
for the first male stripper
contest on ladies night.

447
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,446
‐[Luke] How did you do?
‐I took second place

448
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,248
'cause I didn't take
my underwear off.

449
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,518
Little winches.

450
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,485
I also pissed off
all four of them.

451
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,887
And they're giggling, laughing,

452
00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:22,856
thought they were
just so fucking cute.

453
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,558
And then, motherfucker.

454
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,326
And the dude before me

455
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,829
really couldn't dance that well,
you know.

456
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:31,532
I mean,
he wouldn't do hand frame,

457
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:32,733
he wouldn't do handstands,

458
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:35,636
and he couldn't do splits,
you know.

459
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:38,338
But he took his underwear off.

460
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:40,941
After that, I started
taking my underwear off

461
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:44,845
and I never lost one
for all them years.

462
00:20:44,878 --> 00:20:46,847
And it was
like a hundred dollars.

463
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,752
Well, back then, that was what,
like a thousand dollars now.

464
00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:54,988
A hundred dollars a pop or more.
Not counting on‐‐

465
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,558
I got made more money in tips
than winning the prizes.

466
00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,861
So then we went back again,
and I didn't drink as much then

467
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:04,364
and I danced completely then
and I got a lot of tips.

468
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,298
It was lot of fun.

469
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,300
I was like,
"Hey, I could handle this."

470
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:09,903
To me, it's
about business at this point.

471
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,573
So dance contests, a business.

472
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:16,977
Going to the base, a business.
It was all business to me.

473
00:21:18,879 --> 00:21:22,549
They had one in Tulsa that paid
like a thousand dollars.

474
00:21:22,583 --> 00:21:24,350
So we took off to Tulsa.

475
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,886
Well, we got up there
and still‐‐

476
00:21:25,919 --> 00:21:28,354
I mean, I was still very young,

477
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:31,892
and pasties and bottoms
were still what they were.

478
00:21:31,925 --> 00:21:33,660
You know,
you like to get there early

479
00:21:33,694 --> 00:21:36,396
and kind of check out
the competition

480
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,531
and see what's going on.

481
00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:41,668
There was a girl that got up
on that stage up there,

482
00:21:41,702 --> 00:21:46,640
and it was like fast country
and Western music.

483
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:51,578
And she had cowboy boots on,
white cowboy hat, tassels,

484
00:21:51,612 --> 00:21:54,681
and she had long blonde hair
and she had big boobs.

485
00:21:54,715 --> 00:21:55,949
She had it going on.

486
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,018
But I'm thinking,
"Goddamn, really?

487
00:21:58,051 --> 00:21:59,953
Fucking cowboy up there."

488
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,988
And then as music comes on
and everything.

489
00:22:02,022 --> 00:22:05,626
Then she starts,
like, lifting her hands,

490
00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,928
and her feet would go
back and forth,

491
00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:09,129
back and forth, back and forth,

492
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,464
and those tassels would do

493
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,367
anything
that you could possibly want.

494
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,736
They could go
straight up and down,

495
00:22:15,769 --> 00:22:17,370
they could go from side to side.

496
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:18,371
It was...

497
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:22,108
fucking amazing watching her.

498
00:22:22,142 --> 00:22:23,009
I was like looking at her

499
00:22:23,043 --> 00:22:25,979
like she was some kind
of goddamn genius.

500
00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,414
I mean, really,
for all intensive purposes,

501
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:29,415
she should have won.

502
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,416
She was the better.

503
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:31,785
She was the better.

504
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,486
I just thought
it was really cool.

505
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,121
I thought it was cool.

506
00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:36,690
I won the dance contest.

507
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:37,891
[applause]

508
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,694
You have to realize that I'd
never been to Tulsa before.

509
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:45,031
I was younger than she was
and, plus, I was nasty.

510
00:22:46,099 --> 00:22:47,500
You still had to wear bottoms.

511
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,069
But if you got close enough
to somebody

512
00:22:49,102 --> 00:22:52,438
and you could grab
the inner thigh of your...

513
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,974
and you can show them
some actual skin

514
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:55,241
or something like that,

515
00:22:55,275 --> 00:22:58,779
what is going to keep you from
doing that if you're not shy?

516
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,016
Actually, when people kind
of saw what I was doing,

517
00:23:03,049 --> 00:23:05,018
they started bitching.

518
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,187
And the girls‐‐

519
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,556
The customers, hell, no,
they ain't gonna bitch.

520
00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:13,594
They like it, and I made‐‐
I was, like, grabbing money.

521
00:23:13,627 --> 00:23:17,998
And I mean, I got my earnings
and got the hell out of there,

522
00:23:18,031 --> 00:23:19,833
and we almost got
the shit beat out of us,

523
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:23,604
but I took my money and I left.

524
00:23:23,637 --> 00:23:25,506
And I didn't go
back up there again.

525
00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:28,975
[laughs]

526
00:23:29,009 --> 00:23:30,844
It's business.

527
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,779
That's what you call business.

528
00:23:35,616 --> 00:23:37,618
Your mom in the day had really‐‐

529
00:23:37,651 --> 00:23:39,119
She had long legs,

530
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:42,656
she was shapely
and she had that‐‐

531
00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:45,225
that bubbly personality
that would‐‐

532
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,927
transcended in her dancing.

533
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,063
She was giggly and bubbly
and effervescent

534
00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,999
and game was a banty rooster
for just about anything.

535
00:23:53,033 --> 00:23:54,935
No fear, you know.

536
00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:56,236
[chuckles]

537
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,805
If she couldn't handle it, she
knew plenty of big motherfuckers

538
00:23:58,839 --> 00:24:01,842
that all she had to do was
holler, and they would help her.

539
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:04,110
She really
would bounce on the stage.

540
00:24:04,144 --> 00:24:06,246
The stage
would bounce up and down.

541
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,181
It's supported by chains,

542
00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:10,984
and you could see the
stage was moving

543
00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:13,554
because she was bouncing
all over that stage.

544
00:24:13,587 --> 00:24:16,156
I mean, there's an art to it.
You couldn't‐‐

545
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:17,991
I mean, there were girls
that would get up there

546
00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:19,492
in the middle of the stage

547
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,094
and just stay
in the middle of the stage

548
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:24,497
and do some kind of like
little roundy round or whatever.

549
00:24:24,531 --> 00:24:28,602
But I used that whole stage,
you know.

550
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:30,804
Fuck, you got all those‐‐
That's money.

551
00:24:33,707 --> 00:24:35,609
Back then, you have to remember

552
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:38,779
you were hustling
for quarters for the jukebox.

553
00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:40,914
That's what it took.
Those jukeboxes took a quarter.

554
00:24:40,947 --> 00:24:43,517
And so you'd walk around
with your little paper cup

555
00:24:43,550 --> 00:24:45,285
in between your dance numbers
and stuff like that,

556
00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:47,721
"Quarter for the jukebox,
quarter for the jukebox."

557
00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:48,722
‐Yeah.
‐Some of them requested

558
00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:51,592
the same song over
and over and over and over.

559
00:24:51,625 --> 00:24:54,861
And I would get so tired of it.

560
00:24:54,895 --> 00:24:56,897
They'd get paid
on a Friday night

561
00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:58,098
and they'd wanna hear

562
00:24:58,131 --> 00:25:02,969
fucking old goddamn country
and Western music, you know.

563
00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:04,905
♪ Why do you roll smoke? ♪

564
00:25:04,938 --> 00:25:05,872
And all that bullshit.

565
00:25:05,906 --> 00:25:07,608
They liked all that
'cause they're a bunch

566
00:25:07,641 --> 00:25:09,810
of fucking hee‐haws
that come in.

567
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:11,778
That's when you could
fucking make your money.

568
00:25:11,812 --> 00:25:13,179
[Connie] What about
my favorite one you did?

569
00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:14,581
‐"Squeeze Box."
‐"Squeeze Box."

570
00:25:14,615 --> 00:25:15,516
[Jeanne]
Mama's got a squeeze box.

571
00:25:15,549 --> 00:25:19,019
She turned me on
when she danced to that.

572
00:25:19,052 --> 00:25:20,787
Every time I hear that song,
all I can see is‐‐

573
00:25:20,821 --> 00:25:22,589
[Jeanne laughs]

574
00:25:22,623 --> 00:25:24,958
All the local bands
used to play at the Red Dog.

575
00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:28,128
That was a steady account
on Friday and Saturday night.

576
00:25:28,161 --> 00:25:30,163
We'd pay, like,
four hundred dollars a night.

577
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,932
That's 800 bucks, you know.

578
00:25:31,965 --> 00:25:34,034
Paying everyone was easy.

579
00:25:34,067 --> 00:25:35,301
Gotta love Otis.

580
00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:37,070
[woman] He was so talented.

581
00:25:37,103 --> 00:25:38,238
[Connie] He was so good.

582
00:25:38,271 --> 00:25:39,506
[woman] Friendly and nice.

583
00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:43,710
He was the best guitar player
at the time that we'd ever seen.

584
00:25:43,744 --> 00:25:44,978
[country music playing]

585
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:46,580
This thing
doesn't play worth a shit.

586
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,250
I can remember music
from the time

587
00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:53,687
I was three or four years old
being played in the house.

588
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,056
I remember
a record player on the floor,

589
00:25:56,089 --> 00:25:59,826
you couldn't step too hard
or it'd skip around, you know.

590
00:25:59,860 --> 00:26:03,063
And when they were gone
or they'd leave,

591
00:26:03,096 --> 00:26:06,066
I would gently get records out

592
00:26:06,099 --> 00:26:07,901
and put them out
and play in the records

593
00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:09,970
that my parents
listened to all the time.

594
00:26:10,704 --> 00:26:14,608
Music is a part of human beings,
of being human,

595
00:26:14,641 --> 00:26:17,177
and my parents revered that.

596
00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:18,244
I know, by the way,

597
00:26:18,278 --> 00:26:21,748
<i>they spent money</i>
<i>only on records essentially.</i>

598
00:26:21,782 --> 00:26:24,150
And they didn't say it, right?

599
00:26:24,184 --> 00:26:26,720
But in retrospect, there it is,

600
00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:29,756
The carpet was 50 years old,

601
00:26:29,790 --> 00:26:32,258
but the record player
was brand‐new.

602
00:26:32,292 --> 00:26:34,127
[Connie] She said, "Do you
still remember those moves?"

603
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,763
And I said shit, yeah,
every time that song comes on,

604
00:26:36,797 --> 00:26:39,232
the whole routine goes through
my head, I can't turn it off.

605
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:41,034
I see every move
I'm supposed to be making

606
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:42,368
when I'm supposed to do it.

607
00:26:42,402 --> 00:26:43,970
[Connie chuckles]

608
00:26:44,004 --> 00:26:45,271
Forty years later.

609
00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:49,676
[country music playing]

610
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:00,754
I got this grand idea.

611
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:05,225
You wanna hear? My God,
it's called the Grand Idea.

612
00:27:05,258 --> 00:27:08,962
I wanna make sure that you
write, "The Grand Idea".

613
00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:11,197
'Cause it's‐‐ it was so stupid.

614
00:27:11,231 --> 00:27:14,034
‐It was.
‐[Luke laughs]

615
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:18,972
I was single,
I was free, but I was 17.

616
00:27:19,005 --> 00:27:22,108
But I move into this two‐bedroom
garage apartment

617
00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:24,277
with three guys living there.

618
00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,780
They just thought that was
the best fucking thing ever

619
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:29,816
is living with some girl that
works at the fucking Red Dog,

620
00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:31,317
and they were
all college students.

621
00:27:31,351 --> 00:27:33,820
And I could run
shit off of them.

622
00:27:33,854 --> 00:27:35,756
"What do you think about this?
What do you think about that?

623
00:27:35,789 --> 00:27:37,057
What do you think
if a dancer does this?

624
00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:39,860
What do you think
about if a dancer does that?

625
00:27:39,893 --> 00:27:45,031
One of them told me one time,
"I saw a girl that shaved."

626
00:27:45,065 --> 00:27:47,901
And I'm thinking,
"Don't they all shave?"

627
00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:50,937
You know, and he goes,
"No, she shaved her pussy, Kim."

628
00:27:51,404 --> 00:27:53,974
And I went, "Really?"
And he said, "Yeah,"

629
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:55,842
He goes, "God, it looked great."

630
00:27:55,876 --> 00:27:57,277
You know,
and I got to thinking about it

631
00:27:57,310 --> 00:28:00,947
and I thought, "Oh God,
I just got hair."

632
00:28:00,981 --> 00:28:02,916
[chuckling]
You know, at 17 I thought,

633
00:28:02,949 --> 00:28:06,319
"I finally got a full hair."

634
00:28:06,352 --> 00:28:09,322
So I got to thinking
about it and I thought,

635
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:11,424
"I bet that could be
a money catcher,"

636
00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:14,060
because bottoms
had just come off.

637
00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:17,263
And I thought,
"What a money‐making machine."

638
00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:19,032
[Luke] What do you mean
the bottoms came off?

639
00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:23,369
1976 to 1986,
when total nudity was legal.

640
00:28:23,403 --> 00:28:27,107
[Kim] Pasties and bottoms
came off at the same time.

641
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,076
How ridiculous is that?

642
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:33,880
A lot of the girls
just could not hardly do it.

643
00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:35,949
I'm like,
"Fucking, I'm into all this."

644
00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,218
And the guys would call bugger.
They called it bugger.

645
00:28:38,251 --> 00:28:39,385
[chuckles]

646
00:28:39,419 --> 00:28:42,488
What a terrible thing to say,
but that's what it was.

647
00:28:43,957 --> 00:28:46,059
They wanna see some bugger.

648
00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:47,928
‐And I thought‐‐
‐[Luke laughs]

649
00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:49,029
Quit laughing.

650
00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:51,297
I know you're laughing
back there, fucking jackass.

651
00:28:51,331 --> 00:28:52,232
[Luke laughs]

652
00:28:52,265 --> 00:28:54,801
So I go to the bathroom
the next morning

653
00:28:54,835 --> 00:28:57,103
and I'm shaving my legs,
getting ready for work

654
00:28:57,137 --> 00:28:59,039
and I decide,
"Okay, I'm going for it."

655
00:28:59,072 --> 00:29:00,774
And I shave it.

656
00:29:00,807 --> 00:29:03,944
And then I look at myself
in the mirror and I realized,

657
00:29:03,977 --> 00:29:07,881
"My God, what the fuck
have I just done?"

658
00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:12,218
Because then
I looked like a 12‐year‐old.

659
00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:13,353
That's all I could just look‐‐

660
00:29:13,386 --> 00:29:14,788
I looked at my twat
and I thought,

661
00:29:14,821 --> 00:29:17,323
"It looks like I'm 12 years old.

662
00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:21,227
[sighing] So I get to thinking
and I got fuck this shit,

663
00:29:21,261 --> 00:29:22,996
I get in the car and I run to,

664
00:29:23,029 --> 00:29:24,865
I don't know, somewhere.

665
00:29:24,898 --> 00:29:26,900
And I thought,
what the hell can I do?

666
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:30,436
And I thought sequins.

667
00:29:30,470 --> 00:29:33,473
I can make a sequin thing.

668
00:29:33,507 --> 00:29:35,509
I probably bought twenty dollars

669
00:29:35,542 --> 00:29:37,944
worth of different
colored sequins

670
00:29:37,978 --> 00:29:44,951
and painstaking took superglue
and made like a strip

671
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,522
just so I felt
like I had something on.

672
00:29:48,555 --> 00:29:51,224
It was really funny
'cause I super glued them on,

673
00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:53,226
and some of them stuck
and some of them fell off

674
00:29:53,259 --> 00:29:56,530
as the day ran on,
and so it probably looked

675
00:29:56,563 --> 00:30:00,233
like a tic‐tac‐toe board
or some bullshit, I don't know.

676
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:03,369
By that time,
I was probably fucked up.

677
00:30:04,037 --> 00:30:06,940
And I "veejazzled" myself
before they‐‐

678
00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:09,209
before "veejazzling"
or vajazzling

679
00:30:09,242 --> 00:30:12,045
or whatever was in,
I fucking did it.

680
00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:13,246
‐[Luke laughing]
‐I fucking did it.

681
00:30:13,279 --> 00:30:18,184
[country music plays]

682
00:30:18,218 --> 00:30:22,155
You know, why did it
have to be so demeaning?

683
00:30:22,188 --> 00:30:25,125
It's like any other job‐‐
You know, maybe it isn't.

684
00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,193
I don't know. I don't know.

685
00:30:27,227 --> 00:30:29,530
You know, I don't know.

686
00:30:29,563 --> 00:30:31,998
You know, to me,
at the time it was.

687
00:30:32,032 --> 00:30:34,400
It was nothing to be ashamed of.

688
00:30:34,434 --> 00:30:38,138
It was nothing
to be sorry about.

689
00:30:38,171 --> 00:30:39,873
I really enjoyed dancing.

690
00:30:39,906 --> 00:30:41,441
I didn't care
if my clothes were on and off.

691
00:30:41,474 --> 00:30:44,377
I just think‐‐
I'm still kind of I don't care.

692
00:30:44,410 --> 00:30:47,047
If you don't like what
you're looking at, walk away.

693
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,650
‐Yeah.
‐But I want respect.

694
00:30:49,683 --> 00:30:53,253
The one thing that I think of
is my grandmother,

695
00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:57,023
who worked secretly
under the table

696
00:30:57,057 --> 00:30:58,992
without her husband knowing it

697
00:30:59,492 --> 00:31:02,228
selling handkerchiefs

698
00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:04,364
and whatever she could do,

699
00:31:04,397 --> 00:31:07,167
and would tell the two kids,

700
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:08,669
"Don't tell your dad,

701
00:31:08,702 --> 00:31:11,972
or I'm not gonna give you
any of this money."

702
00:31:12,005 --> 00:31:16,442
I can remember her putting
a pair of culotte pants on

703
00:31:16,476 --> 00:31:18,311
and dancing around
a little bit of it

704
00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:20,981
when my grandfather
wasn't home and going,

705
00:31:21,014 --> 00:31:23,584
"Oh, Kimberly, don't tell him."

706
00:31:23,617 --> 00:31:27,588
My grandmother was a very,
very proud, proud woman.

707
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:32,458
You know, I don't know
that I'm really a feminist.

708
00:31:32,492 --> 00:31:34,928
[Luke] Why did you shy away from
that term? I'm just curious.

709
00:31:34,961 --> 00:31:37,197
I don't know.
'Cause I think that I‐‐

710
00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:38,632
I'm not really sure what‐‐

711
00:31:38,665 --> 00:31:40,433
even really
what that means or if it‐‐

712
00:31:40,466 --> 00:31:42,669
all it encompasses,

713
00:31:42,703 --> 00:31:44,370
you know,
that you have to believe

714
00:31:44,404 --> 00:31:48,108
in everything
that they believe, you know.

715
00:31:48,141 --> 00:31:50,443
I just‐‐ I'm who I am.

716
00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:53,046
I'm who I am.
I have my own beliefs.

717
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,516
I have trouble enough
taking care of my own self,

718
00:31:55,549 --> 00:31:57,483
I don't need to save the world.

719
00:32:11,665 --> 00:32:16,970
It was drinking
and drugging and partying.

720
00:32:17,003 --> 00:32:19,139
You know,
it couldn't have been 24/7,

721
00:32:19,172 --> 00:32:22,075
but looking back,
it seems like it was 24/7.

722
00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:23,977
Sex, drugs, rock and roll.

723
00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:26,279
I mean,
that's just the way it was.

724
00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:29,082
We'd get so many drugs as tips

725
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:31,384
that it got to be ridiculous.

726
00:32:31,417 --> 00:32:33,954
It's like, "No,
I don't want any more drugs."

727
00:32:34,588 --> 00:32:36,389
I love Quaaludes.

728
00:32:36,422 --> 00:32:40,393
Oh, God, I love Quaaludes.
I love Peyote.

729
00:32:40,426 --> 00:32:43,229
I love tripping.
I never had a bad trip.

730
00:32:43,263 --> 00:32:47,033
Well, don't get me wrong,
I tried everything.

731
00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:50,571
I really did. I mean, you know,
you partied back then, you know.

732
00:32:50,604 --> 00:32:53,073
[Connie] It was a whole lot
of fun when I was doing it.

733
00:32:53,106 --> 00:32:55,676
There was a whole lot
of power in dancing.

734
00:32:55,709 --> 00:32:58,579
But I can't imagine
doing it sober.

735
00:32:58,612 --> 00:32:59,813
I don't know
if this is corny or not,

736
00:32:59,846 --> 00:33:03,349
but we used to play the game
as who's the first one to die.

737
00:33:03,383 --> 00:33:06,052
Well, every time
it was Kim's gone.

738
00:33:06,687 --> 00:33:08,655
It was always me first.

739
00:33:08,689 --> 00:33:12,526
I would try anything.
I would try anything.

740
00:33:12,559 --> 00:33:15,195
Why I ever did that,
I don't know.

741
00:33:15,228 --> 00:33:17,397
But, you know, I don't know
that you stir up

742
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:20,634
heroin and speed in the same‐‐

743
00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:22,669
And then, okay, well,
put some little THC in it

744
00:33:22,703 --> 00:33:25,138
and let's see
what that does to her.

745
00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:27,508
You know, I mean,
for our all intensive purposes,

746
00:33:27,541 --> 00:33:29,175
you know, probably‐‐

747
00:33:29,209 --> 00:33:32,779
‐I've got to pee, sorry.
‐[Luke laughs]

748
00:33:32,813 --> 00:33:35,649
My parents never drank
or did drugs at all.

749
00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:39,620
So, while they were kind
of in that lifestyle,

750
00:33:39,653 --> 00:33:40,621
they weren't‐‐ you know,

751
00:33:40,654 --> 00:33:42,556
they weren't, like,
party animals or anything.

752
00:33:42,589 --> 00:33:43,657
They‐‐

753
00:33:43,690 --> 00:33:45,726
You know, they enjoy
fun things like everyone else,

754
00:33:45,759 --> 00:33:49,830
you know, going to the lake
or having nice things.

755
00:33:49,863 --> 00:33:52,398
They had some‐‐
some wild parties at the house.

756
00:33:52,432 --> 00:33:53,767
You know, of course,
I was never there.

757
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,803
You know, we would go
to stay with our grandparents.

758
00:33:56,837 --> 00:33:59,272
The Halloween parties
were always a big one.

759
00:33:59,305 --> 00:34:00,173
And I would hear stories

760
00:34:00,206 --> 00:34:01,742
about these Halloween parties
for years.

761
00:34:01,775 --> 00:34:03,710
I still hear stories
about these Halloween parties

762
00:34:03,744 --> 00:34:05,078
that were going on.

763
00:34:05,111 --> 00:34:07,347
Well, I did a couple of those.

764
00:34:07,380 --> 00:34:11,752
Only one that really got
maybe a little out of hand but‐‐

765
00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:14,187
I'm not ashamed of it,
but, you know,

766
00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:16,222
a lot of people talk
about them being pretty wild.

767
00:34:16,256 --> 00:34:21,528
Big, crazy, naked wild parties
at the house,

768
00:34:21,562 --> 00:34:23,530
you know,
in the pool, in the hot tub.

769
00:34:23,564 --> 00:34:25,866
Most of the all
the girls would love to go.

770
00:34:25,899 --> 00:34:27,868
I mean, they'd go,
"Oh, yeah, pool party at Ray's?

771
00:34:27,901 --> 00:34:29,402
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."

772
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:32,606
Because, you know, he was‐‐
he was paying them

773
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:35,308
and they were meeting guys
with money.

774
00:34:35,341 --> 00:34:37,210
And...

775
00:34:38,545 --> 00:34:40,547
That's all‐‐ that was all
it was about, really.

776
00:34:44,518 --> 00:34:46,753
We would go out.
After the Red Dog closed down,

777
00:34:46,787 --> 00:34:50,456
we would go to Sherlock's
and we would dance there.

778
00:34:50,490 --> 00:34:52,392
And it was like there was
this competition

779
00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:55,128
between Kim and I
dancing at Sherlock's.

780
00:34:55,161 --> 00:34:59,533
They were basically
competitors with each other.

781
00:34:59,566 --> 00:35:03,670
They both thought they were
the queen of the Red Dog.

782
00:35:03,704 --> 00:35:05,906
A lot of the girls
wouldn't be talkative.

783
00:35:05,939 --> 00:35:07,908
They would,
"Do you need another drink?

784
00:35:07,941 --> 00:35:08,709
Do you need a beer?"

785
00:35:08,742 --> 00:35:09,843
Then they'd go on
to the next table.

786
00:35:09,876 --> 00:35:12,345
But your mom would carry on
a conversation with them.

787
00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:14,648
What I can remember
is I had an old army shirt

788
00:35:14,681 --> 00:35:16,850
that I'd cut sleeves off on
and wearing a lot,

789
00:35:16,883 --> 00:35:19,753
and that's what I remember
her comment on.

790
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:20,887
I can't‐‐ I can't remember
the comments,

791
00:35:20,921 --> 00:35:23,189
but I remember that's
what started the conversation.

792
00:35:23,223 --> 00:35:25,759
He always wore the army thing
that said "Dick" on it

793
00:35:25,792 --> 00:35:27,360
and I thought
it was kind of funny.

794
00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:28,428
She wasn't the shyest.

795
00:35:28,461 --> 00:35:32,533
She probably may have said,
but she wasn't shy.

796
00:35:32,566 --> 00:35:35,301
I didn't know whether it meant
big dick or a little dick

797
00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:38,939
or what kind of dick he was
or I‐‐ I don't know.

798
00:35:38,972 --> 00:35:40,173
We got‐‐ we'd go out
and smoke a joint

799
00:35:40,206 --> 00:35:43,476
and drive around or something
like that around Overholser.

800
00:35:43,510 --> 00:35:46,479
And we really became
best buddies, you know,

801
00:35:46,513 --> 00:35:47,814
and then we became lovers.

802
00:35:47,848 --> 00:35:49,382
We just moved in together.

803
00:35:49,415 --> 00:35:52,185
It was so quick, so fast, so...

804
00:35:53,987 --> 00:35:55,656
I don't know
what the fuck I was doing.

805
00:35:55,689 --> 00:35:58,391
I was young,
I was stupid and I was young.

806
00:36:00,961 --> 00:36:03,864
I look back on it now
and I think

807
00:36:03,897 --> 00:36:06,466
it was all fucked up
from the beginning.

808
00:36:06,499 --> 00:36:09,603
He was fucked up.

809
00:36:09,636 --> 00:36:11,672
I was fucked up.

810
00:36:11,705 --> 00:36:13,840
Yeah, so we all‐‐
We used to get‐‐

811
00:36:13,874 --> 00:36:15,542
We were using buddies.

812
00:36:15,576 --> 00:36:16,943
We got to an extreme

813
00:36:16,977 --> 00:36:18,945
at the very end
of the relationship

814
00:36:18,979 --> 00:36:20,747
just trying to hang on, I think.

815
00:36:21,515 --> 00:36:24,851
He was a goddamn womanizer.

816
00:36:24,885 --> 00:36:27,854
He fucked all my best friends.

817
00:36:27,888 --> 00:36:30,490
He‐‐ he just fucked anybody.

818
00:36:30,524 --> 00:36:32,859
She started
staying at home a lot more

819
00:36:32,893 --> 00:36:35,962
because she was pregnant
and, you know,

820
00:36:35,996 --> 00:36:38,431
and I'd missed not
having her on the road with me.

821
00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:41,768
And so I'd smoke an extra joint
or drink an extra six pack

822
00:36:41,802 --> 00:36:44,571
or whatever, you know,
and then that'd escalate.

823
00:36:44,605 --> 00:36:47,240
And they would feel bad for me
and they'd come and say,

824
00:36:47,741 --> 00:36:50,544
"I'm really sorry,
but I fucked Charlie."

825
00:36:51,011 --> 00:36:55,816
Uh, this is easy to tell you
sitting here now 37 years later,

826
00:36:55,849 --> 00:37:01,922
you know, but it was just
trying to live, man, you know.

827
00:37:01,955 --> 00:37:05,325
But one thing it went south
for me, they went south.

828
00:37:06,927 --> 00:37:11,397
We had you,
and a couple of weeks later,

829
00:37:11,431 --> 00:37:15,769
I got a phone call
and said that,

830
00:37:15,802 --> 00:37:17,604
"I'm in love with somebody else

831
00:37:17,638 --> 00:37:20,574
and I'm not
gonna be home anymore."

832
00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:28,782
[Luke] My first memories
of my biological dad,

833
00:37:28,815 --> 00:37:31,952
he was living in Texas
and he would come and get me

834
00:37:31,985 --> 00:37:33,987
and take me to Texas
for the weekend.

835
00:37:34,020 --> 00:37:36,957
I would put you on the back
of my motorcycle

836
00:37:36,990 --> 00:37:38,992
in a little pouch, you know.

837
00:37:39,025 --> 00:37:42,028
And you'd huddle down
and hang on, you loved it.

838
00:37:42,062 --> 00:37:45,699
And we'd come down highway 74
on that Suzuki that I traded for

839
00:37:45,732 --> 00:37:47,668
and let's go visit your grandma.

840
00:37:47,701 --> 00:37:49,736
And then I go back at the end
of the day and pick you up,

841
00:37:49,770 --> 00:37:53,006
high or not, and take you back
the same way, you know.

842
00:37:53,039 --> 00:37:55,642
I didn't think
about high being a risk.

843
00:37:55,676 --> 00:37:56,943
It's part of my life.

844
00:37:58,144 --> 00:38:02,516
To have somebody who's not
in your life on‐‐ on the daily,

845
00:38:02,549 --> 00:38:05,485
then be such an authoritarian
on the weekends

846
00:38:05,519 --> 00:38:07,420
that they came to get you‐‐

847
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:12,025
Um, it was strange to me
and I felt like I never‐‐

848
00:38:12,058 --> 00:38:13,660
I didn't really know him.
It was‐‐

849
00:38:13,694 --> 00:38:14,928
I felt like
it was this, you know,

850
00:38:14,961 --> 00:38:16,830
kind of a dude picking me up.

851
00:38:16,863 --> 00:38:18,932
It was very sad at the time,

852
00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:23,837
but, you know,
and fucking life goes on.

853
00:38:23,870 --> 00:38:27,508
[country music plays]

854
00:38:33,479 --> 00:38:35,582
And there's the story of that.

855
00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:51,131
I've been a parent now
for 17 years

856
00:38:51,164 --> 00:38:53,534
and when I found out

857
00:38:53,567 --> 00:38:56,837
that I was gonna
have a kid, um...

858
00:38:56,870 --> 00:38:58,404
I remember‐‐

859
00:38:58,438 --> 00:39:01,508
I know exactly
where I was at the time.

860
00:39:01,542 --> 00:39:04,545
It was almost like vertigo
or something, you know,

861
00:39:04,578 --> 00:39:09,516
just your life starts switching
around and you start reinventing

862
00:39:09,550 --> 00:39:11,785
how your life was gonna go

863
00:39:11,818 --> 00:39:13,687
and what it is to be a parent

864
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:16,590
and what it is to change
a diaper and milk and food

865
00:39:16,623 --> 00:39:19,392
and money and knowing that a kid
is coming and not knowing

866
00:39:19,425 --> 00:39:21,628
how to handle it, not knowing
what you're gonna do.

867
00:39:21,662 --> 00:39:24,164
And once Emily was there,

868
00:39:24,197 --> 00:39:26,767
she was there and it was‐‐

869
00:39:28,068 --> 00:39:32,806
She was such a perfect baby
and‐‐

870
00:39:32,839 --> 00:39:34,908
And you just
figure it out, you know.

871
00:39:36,810 --> 00:39:37,844
That's okay.

872
00:39:37,878 --> 00:39:40,446
Just‐‐ just start squeezing
a bunch of them off.

873
00:39:45,919 --> 00:39:49,055
I stopped work
once I was really showing.

874
00:39:49,089 --> 00:39:51,858
I was probably five months

875
00:39:51,892 --> 00:39:55,962
before I actually
started showing good.

876
00:39:55,996 --> 00:39:58,031
He was born
three months premature.

877
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:01,535
And I'm sure it's
because of all the partying,

878
00:40:01,568 --> 00:40:04,971
drugs, alcohol, etcetera,
that I did.

879
00:40:05,005 --> 00:40:08,675
He slept at first in a boot box,
because he was so small.

880
00:40:09,242 --> 00:40:12,646
Seriously, in a boot box.
That was his bed.

881
00:40:12,679 --> 00:40:14,447
Eventually I got a bassinet,

882
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,783
but the rats were so bad
in that apartment.

883
00:40:16,817 --> 00:40:18,652
They were so bad.

884
00:40:18,685 --> 00:40:22,155
I‐‐ I got the gun out‐‐
And just to see him breathe.

885
00:40:22,188 --> 00:40:24,190
If you had the same problems
with Josh, you know,

886
00:40:24,224 --> 00:40:27,961
you watch him and watch
that chest fall up and down.

887
00:40:27,994 --> 00:40:30,030
We were using Dilaudid
and heroin

888
00:40:30,063 --> 00:40:32,899
and all this stuff
that I couldn't kick.

889
00:40:32,933 --> 00:40:36,202
Got pregnant during this time,
didn't care,

890
00:40:36,236 --> 00:40:38,805
did all that
through the whole pregnancy,

891
00:40:38,839 --> 00:40:40,073
had my son,

892
00:40:40,106 --> 00:40:43,176
and he came out okay.

893
00:40:43,209 --> 00:40:47,213
Coming from a place in my life
where I didn't want any kids,

894
00:40:48,014 --> 00:40:49,883
and I thought
that I didn't want any kids

895
00:40:49,916 --> 00:40:51,718
because I didn't wanna
fuck them up.

896
00:40:51,752 --> 00:40:53,987
I didn't want them
to be fucked up like me.

897
00:40:55,021 --> 00:40:59,893
And can I actually have children
that are not fucked up like me?

898
00:40:59,926 --> 00:41:01,828
You made this small little thing

899
00:41:01,862 --> 00:41:05,198
and they managed to survive
everything you did to them.

900
00:41:05,231 --> 00:41:08,268
Every bad thing you threw
at them,

901
00:41:08,301 --> 00:41:10,170
they still survived.

902
00:41:10,203 --> 00:41:12,072
And it was just‐‐
it was awesome to watch him.

903
00:41:12,105 --> 00:41:14,040
‐Yeah. Yeah.
‐And I'm crying.

904
00:41:14,074 --> 00:41:16,076
[both chuckle]

905
00:41:16,109 --> 00:41:21,214
[sad music plays]

906
00:41:32,993 --> 00:41:37,030
[Kim] I literally starved
myself for, like, five months

907
00:41:37,063 --> 00:41:39,065
and fucking went
right back up there.

908
00:41:39,099 --> 00:41:40,834
I had to do something.

909
00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:47,741
My first actual memory of‐‐
of the Red Dog inside of it,

910
00:41:47,774 --> 00:41:49,543
I was‐‐ I was really little.

911
00:41:49,576 --> 00:41:52,112
Um, my mom took me up there

912
00:41:52,145 --> 00:41:54,247
and she took me in
and took me upstairs,

913
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,783
I'm staying around all these
girls that were mostly naked.

914
00:41:56,817 --> 00:41:57,984
I didn't know
what to think of it

915
00:41:58,018 --> 00:41:59,219
and I didn't really care
too much

916
00:41:59,252 --> 00:42:00,420
because I was a little kid.

917
00:42:00,453 --> 00:42:03,023
She had to dance a couple
of times and I stayed backstage

918
00:42:03,056 --> 00:42:04,090
and the girls took care of me.

919
00:42:04,124 --> 00:42:06,226
<i>And I started being</i>
<i>a little hand back there</i>

920
00:42:06,259 --> 00:42:08,128
and they were all loving me
and giving me treats.

921
00:42:08,161 --> 00:42:09,796
So that's, you know, that was‐‐

922
00:42:09,830 --> 00:42:11,698
that's my earliest memory
of the Red Dog.

923
00:42:11,732 --> 00:42:13,967
I mean, our home life
was pretty normal, really.

924
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,004
I mean, we were fairly well off
at the time and, you know,

925
00:42:18,038 --> 00:42:20,106
I feel like I always had
everything that I wanted.

926
00:42:20,140 --> 00:42:21,742
But I mean, really our home life

927
00:42:21,775 --> 00:42:24,110
was completely separated
from anything up here.

928
00:42:25,245 --> 00:42:27,781
I don't know if I even knew it
as the Red Dog.

929
00:42:27,814 --> 00:42:30,751
We were just going‐‐
going to mom's work.

930
00:42:30,784 --> 00:42:32,786
But I pretty much knew
everybody there,

931
00:42:32,819 --> 00:42:36,623
so it was a comfortable place
and really felt like it was

932
00:42:36,657 --> 00:42:38,592
a little bit of a playhouse
or something

933
00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,627
because I was granted

934
00:42:40,661 --> 00:42:42,295
all the quarters
that I wanted to,

935
00:42:42,328 --> 00:42:44,297
to just go pump back
into machines

936
00:42:44,330 --> 00:42:47,367
and play Pac‐Man
as long as I wanted to.

937
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,202
[Jason] If I would come in
with my dad, they'd come over

938
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:51,171
and squeeze
my cheeks and stuff and say,

939
00:42:51,204 --> 00:42:53,139
"Oh, he's so cute,"
and all that, but I mean,

940
00:42:53,173 --> 00:42:54,808
you know, I didn't‐‐

941
00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:56,910
I wasn't interested at all
and, you know,

942
00:42:56,943 --> 00:42:59,345
I certainly didn't want them
squeezing my cheeks or anything.

943
00:42:59,379 --> 00:43:02,048
I just try to get away from them
and go play some video games.

944
00:43:02,082 --> 00:43:04,184
You know, when the first
Pac‐Man machine came out,

945
00:43:04,217 --> 00:43:07,120
I'd be over there on a bar stool
at the Pac‐Man machine.

946
00:43:07,153 --> 00:43:08,855
Give me a roll of quarters
and I'd play Pac‐Man

947
00:43:08,889 --> 00:43:10,624
until he was ready to go.

948
00:43:10,657 --> 00:43:12,759
Later on, I thought
that was kind of a‐‐

949
00:43:12,793 --> 00:43:14,995
kind of a fucked up situation
to bring your kids into and‐‐

950
00:43:15,028 --> 00:43:17,931
and show them around
and introduce them to, but‐‐

951
00:43:18,665 --> 00:43:20,634
I mean, everybody
gets raised differently

952
00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,903
and some people still turn out
all right, some people don't,

953
00:43:22,936 --> 00:43:25,238
so you can't really blame
your parents too much, right?

954
00:43:25,271 --> 00:43:26,372
[chuckles]

955
00:43:26,406 --> 00:43:29,242
And also I grew up going
to church every Sunday too,

956
00:43:29,275 --> 00:43:33,179
and we knew to not bring it up
in church or anything.

957
00:43:35,081 --> 00:43:36,883
You know, my family,

958
00:43:36,917 --> 00:43:38,885
we never really saw
anything wrong with any of it.

959
00:43:38,919 --> 00:43:41,855
I mean, you know, I figure God‐‐
God made you that way,

960
00:43:41,888 --> 00:43:44,157
could there be anything
wrong with it, you know?

961
00:43:44,190 --> 00:43:49,062
Just because you do what you do,
doesn't make you a non‐believer.

962
00:43:49,095 --> 00:43:52,332
I mean, they'd be putting
their makeup on in the bathroom,

963
00:43:52,365 --> 00:43:55,268
and every once in a while,
you'd hear a shout out

964
00:43:55,301 --> 00:43:57,037
of hallelujah
every once in a while,

965
00:43:57,070 --> 00:43:59,773
"Hallelujah, I hope
this is a good day, baby."

966
00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:02,242
You know, Jesus,
help me make some money today.

967
00:44:07,981 --> 00:44:10,150
So, what are you here for?

968
00:44:10,183 --> 00:44:11,952
I was there to work.

969
00:44:11,985 --> 00:44:13,820
Did I have a lot
of friends out there?

970
00:44:13,854 --> 00:44:15,255
Yes. Did I‐‐

971
00:44:15,288 --> 00:44:18,024
You know,
the friends were great.

972
00:44:18,725 --> 00:44:21,294
But it was fucking money.

973
00:44:21,327 --> 00:44:24,164
It was money, you know.

974
00:44:24,197 --> 00:44:25,732
[Jeanne] I continued
with the Red Dog

975
00:44:25,766 --> 00:44:28,034
because the money
was too darn good.

976
00:44:28,068 --> 00:44:30,070
You're in the oil boom,

977
00:44:30,103 --> 00:44:34,975
and it was nothing to have
a thousand dollars a night.

978
00:44:35,008 --> 00:44:38,244
My husband pretty much
sold drugs back then.

979
00:44:38,278 --> 00:44:39,145
That was his job.

980
00:44:39,179 --> 00:44:40,947
I was dancing.

981
00:44:40,981 --> 00:44:44,951
His job went to supply us
with drugs and recreation.

982
00:44:44,985 --> 00:44:47,921
So if we traveled anywhere,
that his money was all for that.

983
00:44:47,954 --> 00:44:49,489
Mine was strictly to pay bills.

984
00:44:49,523 --> 00:44:52,759
Pay the rent, pay the bills,
buy the groceries.

985
00:44:52,793 --> 00:44:55,929
I mean, okay, I was married
to two of the dancers.

986
00:44:55,962 --> 00:44:58,164
And it's let's go up
to the Red Dog

987
00:44:58,198 --> 00:44:59,232
and see what's going on

988
00:44:59,265 --> 00:45:01,401
<i>because I mean,</i>
<i>you know, that's your life.</i>

989
00:45:01,434 --> 00:45:02,736
That's your livelihood.

990
00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:04,004
That's where you make your money

991
00:45:04,037 --> 00:45:05,806
and you've got‐‐

992
00:45:05,839 --> 00:45:07,207
Hell, I'm spending‐‐

993
00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:10,010
I'm spending 12 hours a day
in that damn thing,

994
00:45:10,043 --> 00:45:11,912
seven days a week sometimes.

995
00:45:12,846 --> 00:45:15,115
You're lucky to get a day off.

996
00:45:15,148 --> 00:45:15,982
It's hard on a marriage.

997
00:45:16,016 --> 00:45:17,518
It's definitely
hard on a marriage.

998
00:45:17,551 --> 00:45:18,384
[Luke laughs]

999
00:45:18,418 --> 00:45:20,186
We used to just,
you know, go party‐‐

1000
00:45:20,220 --> 00:45:21,888
we get off work
and go partying together

1001
00:45:21,922 --> 00:45:24,858
and we do Tupperware parties
together and, you know,

1002
00:45:24,891 --> 00:45:25,992
just all kinds of stuff.

1003
00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:28,795
<i>Me and Jeanne lived together</i>
<i>for a little while.</i>

1004
00:45:28,829 --> 00:45:31,064
We had a really good time then.

1005
00:45:31,097 --> 00:45:33,967
Once in a while,
we'd go to the male strippers

1006
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,869
and, of course, we got
acquainted to all of them.

1007
00:45:35,902 --> 00:45:37,838
And Thanksgiving,
we had a big feast at the house

1008
00:45:37,871 --> 00:45:39,072
and a lot of guys
come out there.

1009
00:45:39,105 --> 00:45:40,140
The strippers, you know.

1010
00:45:40,173 --> 00:45:42,275
<i>And Jeanne's mom and dad</i>
<i>was there and everybody.</i>

1011
00:45:42,308 --> 00:45:44,044
I mean, the kids were there.

1012
00:45:44,077 --> 00:45:45,879
And we just invited the guys
and we told them‐‐

1013
00:45:45,912 --> 00:45:47,080
I said, you know,
'cause a lot of them

1014
00:45:47,113 --> 00:45:48,081
didn't have families, you know.

1015
00:45:48,114 --> 00:45:50,350
They didn't have
nothing to do or anywhere to go.

1016
00:45:50,383 --> 00:45:52,385
I even took my mother.

1017
00:45:52,418 --> 00:45:54,354
On her birthday,
I took my mother

1018
00:45:54,387 --> 00:45:57,791
to one of the clubs
where the guys were dancing.

1019
00:45:57,824 --> 00:46:00,894
And one of our best friends,
he'd come over and I go,

1020
00:46:00,927 --> 00:46:03,196
"This is my mother."
I said, "It's her birthday,"

1021
00:46:03,229 --> 00:46:05,431
I said, "Give it to her."
And he goes, "Okay."

1022
00:46:05,465 --> 00:46:08,935
And he got over there and, man,
he rubbed all over her.

1023
00:46:08,969 --> 00:46:11,204
She couldn't hardly
keep her hands off of him.

1024
00:46:11,237 --> 00:46:14,007
She was‐‐ She was patting him
and rubbing him and everything

1025
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,942
and we was cracking up laughing.

1026
00:46:15,976 --> 00:46:18,411
She said that's
the best birthday she ever had.

1027
00:46:18,444 --> 00:46:21,582
You don't always have to know
what somebody cares about.

1028
00:46:21,615 --> 00:46:24,184
You don't always have to know
what somebody's thinking.

1029
00:46:24,217 --> 00:46:26,920
You don't have to get into
these deep‐thoughted bullshit

1030
00:46:26,953 --> 00:46:28,054
with these people.

1031
00:46:28,088 --> 00:46:32,058
It's about feeling of family

1032
00:46:32,092 --> 00:46:35,829
when all of us
didn't have anybody.

1033
00:46:35,862 --> 00:46:39,533
We didn't have anybody else.

1034
00:46:39,566 --> 00:46:42,468
And so that becomes your family.

1035
00:47:03,156 --> 00:47:04,958
Check one, two.

1036
00:47:06,927 --> 00:47:10,430
♪ Says right here
on my birthday certificate ♪

1037
00:47:10,463 --> 00:47:12,933
♪ Now twenty‐‐ ♪

1038
00:47:12,966 --> 00:47:15,201
This is killing me.
This is fucking killing me.

1039
00:47:16,903 --> 00:47:18,071
[clears his throat]

1040
00:47:18,104 --> 00:47:19,005
Get it right.

1041
00:47:19,039 --> 00:47:20,473
[sniffles]

1042
00:47:20,507 --> 00:47:24,044
♪ It says it says right here
on my birthday certificate ♪

1043
00:47:24,077 --> 00:47:28,214
♪ Now I'm 23 smack‐dab
in the thick of it ♪

1044
00:47:28,248 --> 00:47:30,416
[Kim]
Sometimes I get melancholy

1045
00:47:30,450 --> 00:47:32,553
when I drive around the lake
because that was

1046
00:47:32,586 --> 00:47:35,421
such an intricate part
of the Red Dog,

1047
00:47:35,455 --> 00:47:39,392
was driving around
Lake Overholser and‐‐

1048
00:47:39,425 --> 00:47:40,927
and getting high and laughing

1049
00:47:40,961 --> 00:47:43,496
and thinking
that we were forever young.

1050
00:47:43,530 --> 00:47:47,668
Obviously, you know, I‐‐
I can't do that

1051
00:47:47,701 --> 00:47:51,071
with so many of them anymore,
you know, and I wished I could.

1052
00:47:51,104 --> 00:47:54,274
I really wished I could,
because I‐‐ I miss them.

1053
00:47:54,307 --> 00:47:56,209
I do miss them.

1054
00:47:56,242 --> 00:48:02,516
But I don't miss them
being fucked up, you know.

1055
00:48:02,549 --> 00:48:04,651
I don't miss them
being fucked up.

1056
00:48:04,685 --> 00:48:08,121
And sadly enough to say,

1057
00:48:08,154 --> 00:48:11,424
the ones that I did get
to be around in the end

1058
00:48:11,457 --> 00:48:13,960
were all fucked up.

1059
00:48:20,601 --> 00:48:23,504
[Luke]
It felt like just one day

1060
00:48:23,537 --> 00:48:25,138
we lived with Ron Hollis.

1061
00:48:25,171 --> 00:48:26,640
That was her boyfriend

1062
00:48:26,673 --> 00:48:29,109
and the manager of the Red Dog.

1063
00:48:29,142 --> 00:48:30,443
I started dating Hollis

1064
00:48:30,476 --> 00:48:32,579
and, you know,
from dating Hollis

1065
00:48:32,613 --> 00:48:34,515
then I moved in with Hollis.

1066
00:48:34,548 --> 00:48:36,449
[Luke] I remember going
to live with him.

1067
00:48:36,482 --> 00:48:38,952
When we did, I was so excited.

1068
00:48:38,985 --> 00:48:43,423
And I remember asking him
if‐‐ if I could call him dad.

1069
00:48:43,456 --> 00:48:45,592
And he said,
"Yeah, you can call me dad."

1070
00:48:50,697 --> 00:48:53,366
When I first
went to work at the Red Dog,

1071
00:48:53,399 --> 00:48:58,304
Ron hired me as a bartender
and he wanted me to work days.

1072
00:48:58,338 --> 00:49:02,408
The first day I was there,
he told me to go in and clean,

1073
00:49:02,442 --> 00:49:05,145
make sure the women's restroom
was clean.

1074
00:49:05,178 --> 00:49:07,147
I loved the stalls up
looking around,

1075
00:49:07,180 --> 00:49:08,649
everything looks okay

1076
00:49:08,682 --> 00:49:12,085
and then I start reading some
of the graffiti on the wall.

1077
00:49:12,118 --> 00:49:16,690
And there's this one with a real
big thick magic marker says,

1078
00:49:16,723 --> 00:49:19,059
"Ron Hollis is a good lay."

1079
00:49:20,727 --> 00:49:23,530
And so I come out‐‐
I come out of the bathroom

1080
00:49:23,564 --> 00:49:25,031
and I'm talking to Ron
and I'm going,

1081
00:49:25,065 --> 00:49:26,633
"Hey, man,
you got some advertising

1082
00:49:26,667 --> 00:49:28,368
on the wall in there."

1083
00:49:28,401 --> 00:49:29,369
He said, "What do you mean?"

1084
00:49:29,402 --> 00:49:30,336
And I said,

1085
00:49:30,370 --> 00:49:32,673
"Well somebody thinks
you're a good lay."

1086
00:49:32,706 --> 00:49:34,407
And he goes,
"Oh, I wrote that in there.

1087
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,643
I wrote that in there, hell."

1088
00:49:36,677 --> 00:49:37,644
Yeah.

1089
00:49:37,678 --> 00:49:39,012
[chuckles]

1090
00:49:39,045 --> 00:49:42,082
And Ron was Tyson's godfather.

1091
00:49:42,115 --> 00:49:45,051
[laughing] I think he was
godfather to our babies.

1092
00:49:45,085 --> 00:49:47,187
‐Probably.
‐When you think about it.

1093
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:50,691
[Kim] He was, you know, a daddy
to a lot of those kids up there

1094
00:49:50,724 --> 00:49:54,127
just for a male influence,
whether it be good‐‐

1095
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,229
I'm not saying
it was the best in the world,

1096
00:49:56,262 --> 00:49:57,798
but he, to me,

1097
00:49:57,831 --> 00:50:00,200
was like a kindergarten teacher
half the time.

1098
00:50:00,233 --> 00:50:02,468
He acted like
a kindergartner half the time.

1099
00:50:02,502 --> 00:50:04,104
He might have been drunk.

1100
00:50:04,771 --> 00:50:08,174
[Connie] I don't think
I ever saw him mad ever.

1101
00:50:08,208 --> 00:50:09,209
But he drank.

1102
00:50:10,476 --> 00:50:13,780
Morning to night non‐stop,
always drinking.

1103
00:50:13,814 --> 00:50:16,249
He was a dad,

1104
00:50:16,282 --> 00:50:19,152
a brother, a friend,

1105
00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:21,187
a confidant.

1106
00:50:21,221 --> 00:50:23,356
A lot of things to me
when I was young.

1107
00:50:23,389 --> 00:50:26,660
When you‐‐ when you're
out of your house for that‐‐

1108
00:50:26,693 --> 00:50:29,329
at that early of an age,

1109
00:50:29,362 --> 00:50:31,297
you kind of latch on
to somebody,

1110
00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:34,100
and I latched on to him.

1111
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,389
[Luke] I remember
when we lived at Ron's,

1112
00:50:56,422 --> 00:50:59,660
my mom would pick me up
late at night,

1113
00:50:59,693 --> 00:51:01,795
oftentimes in the babysitter.

1114
00:51:01,828 --> 00:51:03,864
In the morning,
she'd have the setup, right?

1115
00:51:03,897 --> 00:51:08,168
Which the milk was down low,
light, you know.

1116
00:51:08,201 --> 00:51:10,470
If it was a full gallon,
she'd pour out half of it.

1117
00:51:10,504 --> 00:51:13,574
They'd be Capri Suns, low,

1118
00:51:13,607 --> 00:51:15,475
and then Froot Loops
in the cupboard.

1119
00:51:15,509 --> 00:51:17,343
And I would put the bowl
on the floor

1120
00:51:17,377 --> 00:51:20,514
and pour Froot Loops in a bowl
and then get my milk out,

1121
00:51:20,547 --> 00:51:25,552
and she would have the channel
switched on to PBS

1122
00:51:25,586 --> 00:51:27,854
to where when I turned on
the television

1123
00:51:28,722 --> 00:51:32,726
Mister Rogers or Sesame Street
would come on

1124
00:51:32,759 --> 00:51:35,529
and I wouldn't have
to wake them up to get,

1125
00:51:35,562 --> 00:51:37,564
you know, to get my shit going.

1126
00:51:37,598 --> 00:51:40,333
She could live
a late‐night lifestyle

1127
00:51:40,366 --> 00:51:42,235
and not have to worry
about me in the morning.

1128
00:51:42,268 --> 00:51:44,671
I could take care of myself
for a good couple of hours

1129
00:51:44,705 --> 00:51:49,242
before she woke up and needed
to get it together, you know.

1130
00:51:52,779 --> 00:51:56,817
Ron had this truck‐‐
What the fuck was that?

1131
00:51:56,850 --> 00:51:58,552
Yeah, it was a blue Blazer,

1132
00:51:58,585 --> 00:52:03,256
beat‐up blue Blazer
that was raised up high.

1133
00:52:03,289 --> 00:52:05,291
It wasn't even‐‐
it wasn't normal.

1134
00:52:07,628 --> 00:52:09,696
The bucket seats
were mismatched.

1135
00:52:09,730 --> 00:52:11,497
Everything was fucked up in it.

1136
00:52:11,532 --> 00:52:12,866
But I don't‐‐

1137
00:52:12,899 --> 00:52:14,901
There was something
about that truck

1138
00:52:14,935 --> 00:52:16,302
that everybody loved.

1139
00:52:16,336 --> 00:52:17,838
The minute it got nice outside,

1140
00:52:17,871 --> 00:52:20,674
that fucking Blazer
was busting out of there,

1141
00:52:20,707 --> 00:52:23,209
and we would go around the lake.

1142
00:52:23,243 --> 00:52:25,746
We went and picked up Rick
one day before work and I said,

1143
00:52:25,779 --> 00:52:27,614
"I'll go up and get him."

1144
00:52:27,648 --> 00:52:29,750
That was my MO to go,
"I'm gonna go get him,"

1145
00:52:29,783 --> 00:52:31,918
because I'd get a hit of dope
before we left.

1146
00:52:32,586 --> 00:52:35,556
I don't think we'd gotten
six blocks away from there

1147
00:52:36,389 --> 00:52:39,826
and it was just like
the dope hit.

1148
00:52:41,327 --> 00:52:42,929
Both of us were just like...

1149
00:52:42,963 --> 00:52:45,265
boo, boo.

1150
00:52:45,298 --> 00:52:48,268
All of a sudden,
Rick just falls over,

1151
00:52:48,301 --> 00:52:50,270
and the boots
just came straight up.

1152
00:52:50,303 --> 00:52:51,838
I mean, it was just, like,

1153
00:52:51,872 --> 00:52:54,374
I was getting a buzz off
of the dope and I thought,

1154
00:52:54,407 --> 00:52:56,910
"Okay, he just got‐‐
he took a bigger shot than me.

1155
00:52:56,943 --> 00:52:58,545
It's his dope,
he just probably took

1156
00:52:58,579 --> 00:52:59,980
a little bit more than I did."

1157
00:53:00,013 --> 00:53:01,982
The minute
that I looked at his face,

1158
00:53:02,015 --> 00:53:03,717
I knew something was wrong.

1159
00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:05,852
And I'm going,
"Rick, Rick, what the fuck?

1160
00:53:05,886 --> 00:53:07,821
Come on. Come on, buddy.
What's going on?"

1161
00:53:07,854 --> 00:53:11,625
And I'm thinking, "That son
of a bitch is fucking OD‐ing."

1162
00:53:11,658 --> 00:53:13,493
And I'm like trying
to fucking lift him up,

1163
00:53:13,527 --> 00:53:16,329
and every time I lift him up,
his legs go up.

1164
00:53:16,362 --> 00:53:18,632
I mean, it was just‐‐
It was so weird.

1165
00:53:19,766 --> 00:53:23,403
Ron fucking drives up next
to this goddamn dumpster,

1166
00:53:23,436 --> 00:53:25,506
and I turn around and I look
I say, "What are you doing?"

1167
00:53:25,539 --> 00:53:26,973
And he goes,
"If the motherfucker's dying,

1168
00:53:27,007 --> 00:53:28,942
we're throwing him
in the goddamn dumpster."

1169
00:53:29,776 --> 00:53:31,512
I said, "What?

1170
00:53:31,545 --> 00:53:32,879
Throw him
in the fucking dumpster?"

1171
00:53:32,913 --> 00:53:34,548
And he goes,
"I ain't gonna have‐‐

1172
00:53:34,581 --> 00:53:36,817
What are we supposed to do,
roll him out at the lake?"

1173
00:53:36,850 --> 00:53:39,820
I said, "He's still
fucking breathing, come on."

1174
00:53:39,853 --> 00:53:41,387
You know, he's fucking warm.

1175
00:53:41,421 --> 00:53:42,956
I knew something was wrong
and I‐‐

1176
00:53:42,989 --> 00:53:45,892
And he was slobbering
at that point, you know.

1177
00:53:45,926 --> 00:53:47,561
And I rolled him over
on his side

1178
00:53:47,594 --> 00:53:49,462
and he was saying something.

1179
00:53:49,495 --> 00:53:52,933
Finally, got enough at.
"In my pocket, in my pocket."

1180
00:53:52,966 --> 00:53:54,801
Well,
he had some pills in there.

1181
00:53:54,835 --> 00:53:57,871
Well, I didn't know,
and Ron didn't know,

1182
00:53:57,904 --> 00:54:01,575
and nobody knew
that Rick was an epileptic.

1183
00:54:01,608 --> 00:54:03,944
That's all it was,
was an episode.

1184
00:54:03,977 --> 00:54:06,547
‐[Luke] What did you do?
‐[Kim] Got him sat up,

1185
00:54:06,580 --> 00:54:09,449
and you could see his eyes
kind of start trying to focus

1186
00:54:09,482 --> 00:54:10,917
and shit like that.

1187
00:54:10,951 --> 00:54:13,019
And Rick told him,
"You, son of a bitch,

1188
00:54:13,053 --> 00:54:15,055
I heard you say
he's gonna fucking throw me

1189
00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:16,623
in a goddamn dumpster."

1190
00:54:17,490 --> 00:54:19,793
Yeah, like it's business
as usual after that.

1191
00:54:19,826 --> 00:54:20,594
What are you gonna do?

1192
00:54:20,627 --> 00:54:21,962
take him
to the fucking hospital?

1193
00:54:21,995 --> 00:54:24,030
Fuck no, he's goddamn high.

1194
00:54:24,064 --> 00:54:25,498
You know, and he knew he was.

1195
00:54:25,532 --> 00:54:27,534
Hell, he was ready to fucking
get some more

1196
00:54:27,568 --> 00:54:29,069
and, you know,
let's smoke a joint now

1197
00:54:29,102 --> 00:54:31,371
and roll on, you know.

1198
00:54:31,404 --> 00:54:34,508
We got to work and told a couple
of people and went, "Whoa!"

1199
00:54:34,541 --> 00:54:35,976
[laughs]

1200
00:54:36,877 --> 00:54:38,444
"What the fuck do you do?"

1201
00:54:38,478 --> 00:54:41,414
[country music playing]

1202
00:55:01,134 --> 00:55:04,037
[Luke] I think I was 14
and, I don't know,

1203
00:55:04,070 --> 00:55:06,607
I was digging around
in my mom's car for something

1204
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,109
and I found a little film case

1205
00:55:09,142 --> 00:55:11,377
and there was
some weed in there.

1206
00:55:11,411 --> 00:55:12,813
And I thought,

1207
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:15,348
"I should probably smoke this."

1208
00:55:15,381 --> 00:55:17,751
And, Lord knows why,

1209
00:55:17,784 --> 00:55:20,921
inhaled it and then realized

1210
00:55:20,954 --> 00:55:23,890
that I was super fucking stoned

1211
00:55:23,924 --> 00:55:27,861
and I'd never been
really stoned before.

1212
00:55:27,894 --> 00:55:30,396
My mom calls me in for dinner

1213
00:55:30,430 --> 00:55:33,834
and I sit at the table
and I keep looking down

1214
00:55:33,867 --> 00:55:35,135
between my legs, 'cause I‐‐

1215
00:55:35,168 --> 00:55:36,603
it feels
like I'm pissing my pants.

1216
00:55:36,637 --> 00:55:37,470
[chuckles]

1217
00:55:37,504 --> 00:55:39,973
"Do you think
I'm pissing my pants?"

1218
00:55:40,006 --> 00:55:42,075
And it doesn't look
like I've pissed my pants,

1219
00:55:42,108 --> 00:55:44,711
but I just
kept touching to verify.

1220
00:55:44,745 --> 00:55:45,979
I had not yet pissed my pants.

1221
00:55:46,012 --> 00:55:48,715
And anyway, it just sort
of blew through dinner

1222
00:55:48,749 --> 00:55:50,584
and Mom's like, "Are you okay?"

1223
00:55:50,617 --> 00:55:51,785
And I'm like,
"Yeah, I just not‐‐

1224
00:55:51,818 --> 00:55:54,420
just not feeling well, Mom."

1225
00:55:54,921 --> 00:55:57,423
Years later, I was talking
to my mom about that

1226
00:55:57,457 --> 00:55:58,759
and she was like, "Oh, yeah,

1227
00:55:58,792 --> 00:56:01,528
that was
Cathy's hydroponic weed.

1228
00:56:01,562 --> 00:56:02,996
That's the shit
that they used to grow.

1229
00:56:03,029 --> 00:56:05,065
And she's like,
"Yeah, that stuff's real,

1230
00:56:05,098 --> 00:56:07,801
blow your head off," you know.

1231
00:56:07,834 --> 00:56:09,803
[chuckles]

1232
00:56:09,836 --> 00:56:11,437
Cathy's weed.

1233
00:56:19,913 --> 00:56:23,817
Do you happen to remember
my mom's nickname for your mom?

1234
00:56:24,651 --> 00:56:27,521
‐No, [inaudible].
‐[Luke] Just Nasty Cathy?

1235
00:56:27,554 --> 00:56:29,189
Nasty Cat‐‐
Yeah, that sounds about right.

1236
00:56:29,222 --> 00:56:30,824
[chuckles]

1237
00:56:30,857 --> 00:56:33,594
I was almost shocked
at what she did.

1238
00:56:33,627 --> 00:56:34,961
‐But I thought‐‐
‐[Luke] Can you tell me?

1239
00:56:34,995 --> 00:56:37,463
No, no, I can't,
because I just can't.

1240
00:56:37,497 --> 00:56:39,465
I just don't think
it would be right.

1241
00:56:39,499 --> 00:56:45,071
But henceforth, "Nasty Cathy"
I called her, and she giggled.

1242
00:56:45,105 --> 00:56:48,108
She giggled and giggled
and giggled about that.

1243
00:56:48,141 --> 00:56:50,644
We had a lot of fun,

1244
00:56:50,677 --> 00:56:53,580
a lot of tears,
a lot of laughter.

1245
00:56:53,614 --> 00:56:55,949
She was with me
through a lot of shit.

1246
00:56:55,982 --> 00:56:57,918
I was with her
through a lot of shit.

1247
00:56:57,951 --> 00:57:00,987
You know, I'm‐‐ I'm glad
that she was in my life.

1248
00:57:03,524 --> 00:57:05,491
[Russell]
Eddie's my stepdad. Uh...

1249
00:57:05,526 --> 00:57:07,961
He came in my life because
my mom liked to date a dealer.

1250
00:57:09,630 --> 00:57:11,798
When she married Eddie,
you know,

1251
00:57:11,832 --> 00:57:14,100
it gave Cathy more money,

1252
00:57:14,134 --> 00:57:17,070
you know, and Cathy
didn't have to work anymore

1253
00:57:17,103 --> 00:57:18,639
and Cathy
could smoke as much pot.

1254
00:57:18,672 --> 00:57:19,973
Of course she always smoked.

1255
00:57:20,006 --> 00:57:22,008
And that was okay,
I didn't care.

1256
00:57:22,042 --> 00:57:23,143
Before we had
to move in together,

1257
00:57:23,176 --> 00:57:25,111
they had to introduce me to it
because that's what‐‐

1258
00:57:25,145 --> 00:57:27,480
you know, that's what Eddie did
for a living, was he grew weed,

1259
00:57:27,514 --> 00:57:28,982
you know,
copious amounts of weed.

1260
00:57:29,015 --> 00:57:30,551
And my mom was like,
"You need to go with him

1261
00:57:30,584 --> 00:57:31,952
and listen to what he's saying."
And he's like,

1262
00:57:31,985 --> 00:57:33,486
"We can't tell anybody
that would do this.

1263
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:34,988
We can't let anybody know
that this is going on."

1264
00:57:35,021 --> 00:57:36,189
He's like,
"But I want to show you this."

1265
00:57:36,222 --> 00:57:37,190
He opened the door

1266
00:57:37,223 --> 00:57:38,258
and took me down I was like,
"What are these?"

1267
00:57:38,291 --> 00:57:39,292
<i>He's like, "Well,</i>
<i>we're growing these plants,"</i>

1268
00:57:39,325 --> 00:57:41,762
<i>and he's like,</i>
<i>"I want you to look at these</i>

1269
00:57:41,795 --> 00:57:43,496
and see each one
of these little leaves?

1270
00:57:43,530 --> 00:57:45,799
Look at those
like they're $50 bills."

1271
00:57:45,832 --> 00:57:48,669
And that's‐‐
I took off with it, you know.

1272
00:57:48,702 --> 00:57:50,270
I was huge on math
when I was kid.

1273
00:57:50,303 --> 00:57:52,205
So Eddie was always,
you know, high, so he'd be like,

1274
00:57:52,238 --> 00:57:54,107
"Here, do the math on this."

1275
00:57:54,140 --> 00:57:56,176
So that was‐‐ you know,
that was, I guess, it made me

1276
00:57:56,209 --> 00:57:59,079
feel important to the family to
be needed for stuff like that.

1277
00:58:01,548 --> 00:58:03,049
I had friends
that I talked to at the school,

1278
00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:04,785
but I couldn't go stay the night
at their house

1279
00:58:04,818 --> 00:58:06,119
and hang out with them
because, you know,

1280
00:58:06,152 --> 00:58:07,320
if you go stay a night
at their house,

1281
00:58:07,353 --> 00:58:09,623
they're supposed to come
and stay a night at your house.

1282
00:58:09,656 --> 00:58:10,924
They can't stay
the night at our house.

1283
00:58:10,957 --> 00:58:12,659
I can't explain to them
why there's odd lights

1284
00:58:12,693 --> 00:58:13,594
coming out of the door,

1285
00:58:13,627 --> 00:58:14,595
<i>why there's this hum</i>
<i>through the wall,</i>

1286
00:58:14,628 --> 00:58:16,262
<i>all the, you know,</i>
<i>ballasts for the lights</i>

1287
00:58:16,296 --> 00:58:17,698
and everything like that,
you know.

1288
00:58:17,731 --> 00:58:19,800
I mean, it was
a hydroponic house,

1289
00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:21,902
probably glowed in the dark.

1290
00:58:21,935 --> 00:58:23,303
That's why I was
at your place so often,

1291
00:58:23,336 --> 00:58:25,305
was because you guys
were about the only friends

1292
00:58:25,338 --> 00:58:27,574
that I was allowed to have,
you know.

1293
00:58:27,608 --> 00:58:29,175
[Kim] I told Russell, I said,

1294
00:58:29,209 --> 00:58:33,013
"Why don't you come out
and live with me?"

1295
00:58:33,046 --> 00:58:37,551
And bless his heart,
he grinned at me

1296
00:58:37,584 --> 00:58:39,686
and thought about it
for a second and he said,

1297
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,555
"Kim, I love you," but he said,

1298
00:58:41,588 --> 00:58:43,824
"You're way too strict."

1299
00:58:43,857 --> 00:58:45,892
I remember one time
we lived over on the south side

1300
00:58:45,926 --> 00:58:47,260
over off of 12th and Villa,

1301
00:58:47,293 --> 00:58:50,196
and my mom and her guy

1302
00:58:50,230 --> 00:58:52,966
got in a fight over some pills
that went missing.

1303
00:58:52,999 --> 00:58:54,668
And they got
an actual physical fight

1304
00:58:54,701 --> 00:58:56,670
out in the front yard,
so I ran through and, you know,

1305
00:58:56,703 --> 00:58:59,740
I was real little, I was
in third grade or fourth grade

1306
00:58:59,773 --> 00:59:01,307
and I tried to jump the guy
like I was He‐Man

1307
00:59:01,341 --> 00:59:03,076
and that didn't work out
too well for me.

1308
00:59:03,109 --> 00:59:04,945
He just picked me up
and threw me about 40 feet

1309
00:59:04,978 --> 00:59:06,713
across the lawn, you know.

1310
00:59:06,747 --> 00:59:08,982
I started bawling my eyes out
'cause I didn't know what to do.

1311
00:59:09,015 --> 00:59:10,851
So I ran inside and I came
back out with a knife

1312
00:59:10,884 --> 00:59:12,118
and I tried to cut him,
but, you know,

1313
00:59:12,152 --> 00:59:13,787
still I was just a little kid.

1314
00:59:13,820 --> 00:59:15,822
I didn't know
what else to do, you know.

1315
00:59:15,856 --> 00:59:17,791
And that's, you know‐‐
that's, you know,

1316
00:59:17,824 --> 00:59:18,925
one of my fun Mom stories.

1317
00:59:18,959 --> 00:59:20,026
[chuckles]

1318
00:59:20,060 --> 00:59:23,964
Don't get me wrong,
me and Cathy clashed terribly,

1319
00:59:23,997 --> 00:59:26,600
especially after we had kids.

1320
00:59:26,633 --> 00:59:29,102
Not so much we loved it
when we didn't,

1321
00:59:29,135 --> 00:59:30,871
but when the minute
that we had kids,

1322
00:59:30,904 --> 00:59:32,739
then we clashed.

1323
00:59:32,773 --> 00:59:34,174
[Russell]
The day that all that shit

1324
00:59:34,207 --> 00:59:36,610
went down
where I called the cops on him,

1325
00:59:36,643 --> 00:59:39,646
was we were sitting around
and he'd heated up some pizza,

1326
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:41,047
and they'd walked in
the front room

1327
00:59:41,081 --> 00:59:42,649
and he was so fucked up
on something

1328
00:59:42,683 --> 00:59:43,850
that he thought
I'd eaten his pizza

1329
00:59:43,884 --> 00:59:45,819
and he pulled the gun on me.

1330
00:59:45,852 --> 00:59:48,154
And, you know, he pulled a gun
on my mom a couple of times,

1331
00:59:48,188 --> 00:59:49,690
he pulled a gun on my dad,
you know,

1332
00:59:49,723 --> 00:59:51,024
he beat my mom a couple of times

1333
00:59:51,057 --> 00:59:52,392
and he beat my ass
a couple of times

1334
00:59:52,425 --> 00:59:53,994
and I was just done with it,
you know.

1335
00:59:54,027 --> 00:59:55,195
I told my mom, you know,

1336
00:59:55,228 --> 00:59:57,664
"Look, either you leave him
or I'm gonna do something."

1337
00:59:57,698 --> 00:59:58,999
And my mom was like,
"Well, you can get

1338
00:59:59,032 --> 01:00:00,233
the fuck out of our life."

1339
01:00:00,901 --> 01:00:02,769
Eddie threw all of his shit
on the lawn,

1340
01:00:02,803 --> 01:00:05,706
and Russell came back
and saw all of his clothes,

1341
01:00:05,739 --> 01:00:08,408
everything laying out
on the lawn.

1342
01:00:08,441 --> 01:00:12,012
And he packed it up
and drove to town

1343
01:00:12,045 --> 01:00:13,614
and turned him in.

1344
01:00:14,447 --> 01:00:16,683
And Cathy never got over it.

1345
01:00:18,051 --> 01:00:20,153
I mean, they ended up in jail.

1346
01:00:20,186 --> 01:00:22,689
You know, they went in there
and had a bunch of pot plants

1347
01:00:22,723 --> 01:00:24,758
and guns and shit like that.

1348
01:00:24,791 --> 01:00:27,694
And they ended up
locking them up and...

1349
01:00:28,261 --> 01:00:30,831
Cathy and Russell
never spoke again.

1350
01:00:31,932 --> 01:00:33,967
[Russell] I regret it
because that was the last time

1351
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,002
that I ever really
talked to my mom, you know.

1352
01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:38,171
We never‐‐ we never talked again
after that pretty much.

1353
01:00:38,204 --> 01:00:40,073
I mean, I saw her
at my grandpa's funeral,

1354
01:00:40,106 --> 01:00:42,776
but we didn't say
two words to each other.

1355
01:00:43,309 --> 01:00:44,745
I mean, it didn't change
anything

1356
01:00:44,778 --> 01:00:45,679
in their lives, you know.

1357
01:00:45,712 --> 01:00:47,681
They still stayed together,
they still‐‐

1358
01:00:47,714 --> 01:00:49,716
They get fucked up together,
but that's, you know,

1359
01:00:49,750 --> 01:00:51,051
that's kind of how it went down.

1360
01:00:51,084 --> 01:00:53,186
You know,
I‐‐ I just‐‐ I had enough.

1361
01:00:53,219 --> 01:00:58,224
It was hurtful to me because
I just thought Cathy could have,

1362
01:00:58,258 --> 01:01:00,393
you know, gotten over it,

1363
01:01:00,426 --> 01:01:02,963
you know,
but Cathy just, you know,

1364
01:01:02,996 --> 01:01:06,933
"The little son of a bitch
turned me in, and fuck him."

1365
01:01:06,967 --> 01:01:08,368
You know, and I said,
"One of these days,

1366
01:01:08,401 --> 01:01:09,936
what if he gets married
and has kids?"

1367
01:01:09,970 --> 01:01:11,071
"Fuck him."

1368
01:01:11,104 --> 01:01:12,238
She couldn't get over it.

1369
01:01:12,272 --> 01:01:13,406
She couldn't get over it.

1370
01:01:13,439 --> 01:01:15,441
She just finally told me,

1371
01:01:15,475 --> 01:01:16,943
"Quit talking about it."

1372
01:01:18,078 --> 01:01:21,314
And so I finally just‐‐
you know,

1373
01:01:21,347 --> 01:01:24,384
It wasn't endearing me to her,
I'll put it that way.

1374
01:01:25,786 --> 01:01:30,924
[sad music plays]

1375
01:01:51,545 --> 01:01:56,416
[country music plays]

1376
01:01:56,449 --> 01:01:59,019
Dominant society is,

1377
01:01:59,052 --> 01:02:00,353
you better
put your seatbelts on,

1378
01:02:00,386 --> 01:02:01,788
you better put your helmet on,

1379
01:02:01,822 --> 01:02:04,825
you better get your saved up
Twinkies over here

1380
01:02:04,858 --> 01:02:06,392
and you better do this,
you better do that.

1381
01:02:07,093 --> 01:02:08,862
The dominant society.

1382
01:02:10,196 --> 01:02:13,466
Now, the dominant society,
and there's us.

1383
01:02:13,499 --> 01:02:17,904
To live outside the law,
you must truly be an honest man.

1384
01:02:17,938 --> 01:02:21,407
Now you think about that
for a few minutes.

1385
01:02:22,843 --> 01:02:26,913
Outside the law,
we don't have courts and judges.

1386
01:02:26,947 --> 01:02:29,415
We actually feed you to the
fucking hogs.

1387
01:02:30,083 --> 01:02:31,451
No simple dude.

1388
01:02:35,155 --> 01:02:37,157
Hendrix says it very well
in six‐‐

1389
01:02:37,190 --> 01:02:38,859
in a song called "If 6 Were 9."

1390
01:02:39,993 --> 01:02:41,294
"I'm the one that's got to die

1391
01:02:41,327 --> 01:02:42,996
when it comes time
for me to die,

1392
01:02:43,029 --> 01:02:46,032
so let me live my life
the way I want to."

1393
01:02:51,337 --> 01:02:53,907
I'd usually give him
the benefit of the doubt once

1394
01:02:53,940 --> 01:02:56,510
because I would think they had
a little too much to drink,

1395
01:02:56,543 --> 01:02:58,111
which is okay. That's where‐‐

1396
01:02:58,144 --> 01:03:00,413
It's a bar,
it's a bar, I got it.

1397
01:03:03,884 --> 01:03:06,853
I was always happy for all
those girls to take out of there

1398
01:03:06,887 --> 01:03:08,989
as much money as they could.

1399
01:03:09,022 --> 01:03:10,524
They all worked hard.

1400
01:03:11,324 --> 01:03:13,894
There was a girl
that got up there,

1401
01:03:13,927 --> 01:03:17,130
and she wasn't
the smartest crayon in the box,

1402
01:03:17,163 --> 01:03:19,566
but she was there to make money.

1403
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:21,868
And these guys were really
hollering at her

1404
01:03:21,902 --> 01:03:24,104
and yelling at her
and everything and‐‐

1405
01:03:24,137 --> 01:03:26,507
and he tells her
squat on down here

1406
01:03:26,540 --> 01:03:27,874
and she squats on down there

1407
01:03:27,908 --> 01:03:28,775
and he goes, "Hey baby,

1408
01:03:28,809 --> 01:03:31,377
your pussy looks
like a fucking taco."

1409
01:03:31,411 --> 01:03:33,880
But Lorna did like this.

1410
01:03:33,914 --> 01:03:35,616
And I said, "What the fuck
did you say to her?"

1411
01:03:35,649 --> 01:03:39,019
"I told her, her pussy looked
like a taco, bitch."

1412
01:03:39,052 --> 01:03:42,122
I said, "I don't think that was
a good thing to say to her."

1413
01:03:42,155 --> 01:03:43,557
"Well, what‐‐ what do you mean?

1414
01:03:43,590 --> 01:03:45,191
What the fuck
are you gonna do to me?"

1415
01:03:45,225 --> 01:03:47,293
I just picked up the stick,

1416
01:03:47,327 --> 01:03:48,995
walked back over there

1417
01:03:49,029 --> 01:03:52,498
and I laid about that much
of it down.

1418
01:03:52,533 --> 01:03:55,435
I said, "What‐‐
What did you say again?"

1419
01:03:55,468 --> 01:03:56,870
"You heard what I said."

1420
01:03:56,903 --> 01:03:58,038
And I just pulled it back

1421
01:03:58,071 --> 01:04:01,575
and just fucking plunged it
as hard as I fucking could

1422
01:04:01,608 --> 01:04:03,610
and hit him square in the mouth.

1423
01:04:04,310 --> 01:04:07,180
Teeth flew, bloody.

1424
01:04:07,213 --> 01:04:10,416
Immediately, they started
coming over the bar at me,

1425
01:04:10,450 --> 01:04:13,987
you know, I got beat up
a little bit, I didn't care.

1426
01:04:14,020 --> 01:04:15,188
I didn't care.

1427
01:04:15,221 --> 01:04:16,990
People don't talk like that.

1428
01:04:17,023 --> 01:04:18,859
People don't say shit like that.

1429
01:04:19,425 --> 01:04:22,328
I'd give him one pass and then
I would go alert a bouncer.

1430
01:04:23,329 --> 01:04:25,398
You know,
that was your mom, you know.

1431
01:04:25,431 --> 01:04:28,001
Tell them once, Tiny, you know.

1432
01:04:28,034 --> 01:04:29,936
Back when I was
a little bitty kid

1433
01:04:29,970 --> 01:04:32,472
in Torrance, California,

1434
01:04:32,506 --> 01:04:34,340
I'd get beat up
for my lunch money

1435
01:04:34,374 --> 01:04:36,610
by a gang of little kids,

1436
01:04:36,643 --> 01:04:40,547
and my dad showed me
how to stick an axe handle

1437
01:04:40,581 --> 01:04:42,482
up the sleeve of my jacket.

1438
01:04:42,516 --> 01:04:44,184
And the next time when the kids

1439
01:04:44,217 --> 01:04:46,620
come to take my lunch money,
just clock them.

1440
01:04:46,653 --> 01:04:50,123
Don't talk,
don't push back and forth.

1441
01:04:50,156 --> 01:04:52,058
If they come up,
"Give me your lunch money,"

1442
01:04:52,092 --> 01:04:54,460
drop that down your hand
and start beating them with it.

1443
01:04:54,494 --> 01:04:56,196
And that's what I did.

1444
01:04:56,229 --> 01:04:58,398
And that's what I've been doing
ever since.

1445
01:04:58,431 --> 01:05:01,267
I will not stand there
and talk shit with you.

1446
01:05:01,301 --> 01:05:02,669
I will not fuck with a drunk.

1447
01:05:02,703 --> 01:05:05,071
I will just take you out.

1448
01:05:08,308 --> 01:05:10,443
I'm a Nam vet.

1449
01:05:10,476 --> 01:05:12,278
[chuckling]
I've killed more people

1450
01:05:12,312 --> 01:05:14,981
than you motherfuckers
can probably even think of

1451
01:05:16,082 --> 01:05:18,619
by the time I was 19 years old.

1452
01:05:18,652 --> 01:05:21,688
You know, it literally bothers
me to punch you in the mouth

1453
01:05:21,722 --> 01:05:23,356
'cause you're an idiot.

1454
01:05:23,389 --> 01:05:25,959
I don't think so. Yeah.

1455
01:05:25,992 --> 01:05:29,563
The Red Dog always had
a lot of people in it.

1456
01:05:29,596 --> 01:05:31,431
And we could always go in there

1457
01:05:31,464 --> 01:05:33,700
and expect to find
at least one or two people

1458
01:05:33,734 --> 01:05:36,469
who were drunk
and causing problems.

1459
01:05:36,502 --> 01:05:38,605
And because
of the number of people

1460
01:05:38,639 --> 01:05:40,240
who were going into the Red Dog,

1461
01:05:40,273 --> 01:05:42,375
we never went
with just a single car.

1462
01:05:42,408 --> 01:05:44,578
We always went in
with two or three police cars.

1463
01:05:45,579 --> 01:05:48,314
[Randy] We had a fight
break out within a minute or two

1464
01:05:48,348 --> 01:05:50,584
when the place
was getting ready to close,

1465
01:05:50,617 --> 01:05:53,720
and I locked my arms
under his shoulders

1466
01:05:53,754 --> 01:05:55,221
and raise it up with him.

1467
01:05:55,255 --> 01:05:57,490
And when I picked him up,

1468
01:05:57,524 --> 01:05:59,760
he wheeled around
and took a knife

1469
01:05:59,793 --> 01:06:01,562
and come across my arm
right here

1470
01:06:01,595 --> 01:06:04,164
and laid me open pretty good.

1471
01:06:05,098 --> 01:06:06,600
When you closed at night,

1472
01:06:06,633 --> 01:06:09,670
you've got two bars
with sometimes

1473
01:06:09,703 --> 01:06:13,507
as much as $7,000
or 8,000 in cash.

1474
01:06:13,540 --> 01:06:17,511
And you have to take it
out of the bar into your car

1475
01:06:17,544 --> 01:06:19,680
and drive somewhere
to deposit it,

1476
01:06:19,713 --> 01:06:21,447
and I usually carried a pistol.

1477
01:06:22,783 --> 01:06:26,019
I just think, you know,
you live by the sword,

1478
01:06:26,052 --> 01:06:28,221
you're gonna fucking die
by the sword.

1479
01:06:28,254 --> 01:06:32,125
Now, do you‐‐ How‐‐ How fast you
wanna wave that fucking sword?

1480
01:06:32,158 --> 01:06:35,762
Or do you wanna throw it away
and fucking straighten up?

1481
01:06:35,796 --> 01:06:38,532
And I straightened up.

1482
01:06:40,534 --> 01:06:42,569
[Luke] So what made you
leave the lifestyle?

1483
01:06:45,171 --> 01:06:47,574
I got tired
of the bullshit, man.

1484
01:06:47,608 --> 01:06:49,776
[chuckles]

1485
01:06:49,810 --> 01:06:51,411
Yeah, I got tired of it, man.

1486
01:06:51,444 --> 01:06:53,580
I got her, I got the kid

1487
01:06:53,614 --> 01:06:57,317
and I didn't wanna spend time
in prison again,

1488
01:06:57,784 --> 01:06:59,720
be away from her and the kid.

1489
01:07:01,121 --> 01:07:04,057
Time for a change, so I changed.

1490
01:07:04,090 --> 01:07:07,427
Two weeks after I had Josh,
I got busted

1491
01:07:07,460 --> 01:07:11,632
and put in jail for 24 hours,
which did not‐‐ I did not like.

1492
01:07:11,665 --> 01:07:14,535
When I got busted, I had
to throw a bunch of drugs away.

1493
01:07:14,568 --> 01:07:16,202
We heard them
coming up the stairs.

1494
01:07:16,236 --> 01:07:18,605
So I ran in the bath‐‐
We just got drugs.

1495
01:07:19,272 --> 01:07:20,373
So I ran in the bathroom

1496
01:07:20,406 --> 01:07:22,242
and dumped them all
on the toilet and flushed them.

1497
01:07:22,275 --> 01:07:24,444
Well, we still owed
all that money.

1498
01:07:24,477 --> 01:07:25,712
Um...

1499
01:07:25,746 --> 01:07:29,149
So they were looking for us.
The bikers were looking for us.

1500
01:07:29,850 --> 01:07:31,685
And I just got scared and tired

1501
01:07:31,718 --> 01:07:35,556
and thought I can't raise
a kid in this and‐‐

1502
01:07:35,589 --> 01:07:38,091
and left Kevin
and moved in with my mom.

1503
01:07:39,159 --> 01:07:41,094
So I lived with her
about six months

1504
01:07:41,127 --> 01:07:43,429
before I went into treat‐‐
and then I went into treatment.

1505
01:07:43,463 --> 01:07:45,165
And then got out of treatment,

1506
01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:48,134
divorced Kevin
and didn't look back.

1507
01:07:48,168 --> 01:07:50,804
They had a bachelor party
there one night.

1508
01:07:50,837 --> 01:07:53,840
These guys got me down
and wouldn't let me go

1509
01:07:53,874 --> 01:07:55,108
and they hurt me.

1510
01:07:55,141 --> 01:07:57,177
And after they
finally let me go,

1511
01:07:57,210 --> 01:07:59,179
I said this ain't‐‐
this ain't worth it.

1512
01:07:59,212 --> 01:08:02,182
I said I didn't come down here
to work just to get, you know,

1513
01:08:02,215 --> 01:08:03,483
messed up and stuff like that.

1514
01:08:03,517 --> 01:08:05,118
I said, "I came to make
the money

1515
01:08:05,151 --> 01:08:06,252
'cause I need the money"

1516
01:08:06,286 --> 01:08:08,321
and I said, "I don't deserve
to be treated this way."

1517
01:08:08,354 --> 01:08:09,723
And I left
and I didn't come back.

1518
01:08:10,390 --> 01:08:12,726
Once people started leaving
the Red Dog,

1519
01:08:12,759 --> 01:08:14,494
we kind of went
our separate ways.

1520
01:08:14,528 --> 01:08:16,462
And I kind of lost track

1521
01:08:16,496 --> 01:08:19,866
because the last time I'd gone
to Connie and Kevin's house,

1522
01:08:19,900 --> 01:08:23,236
when I walked in, they were both
sitting on the couch

1523
01:08:23,269 --> 01:08:26,139
and they had just shot up
with Dilaudid

1524
01:08:26,172 --> 01:08:28,709
and they were really out of it.

1525
01:08:28,742 --> 01:08:30,511
I was psycho getting sober.

1526
01:08:30,544 --> 01:08:33,814
I was‐‐ I didn't know
how to live normal.

1527
01:08:33,847 --> 01:08:37,918
'Cause I had been chemically
enhanced since I was 16.

1528
01:08:37,951 --> 01:08:40,521
So I didn't have a clue.

1529
01:08:40,554 --> 01:08:42,322
I stayed in contact
with some of them

1530
01:08:42,355 --> 01:08:44,390
for maybe a year
after I got sober,

1531
01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:46,292
but then it just,
you know, you just‐‐

1532
01:08:46,326 --> 01:08:48,795
you leave all those friends
behind when you get sober.

1533
01:08:48,829 --> 01:08:52,365
You have to, to‐‐ you have
to completely break away

1534
01:08:52,398 --> 01:08:54,367
from that
to break away from that.

1535
01:08:55,335 --> 01:08:58,805
My first job at 16 was
a counter work at Braum's.

1536
01:08:58,839 --> 01:09:01,942
My first job when I got sober
was counter work at Braum's.

1537
01:09:01,975 --> 01:09:03,777
[chuckles]

1538
01:09:03,810 --> 01:09:05,546
And minimum wage.

1539
01:09:05,579 --> 01:09:08,782
So I went from some days,
some weeks,

1540
01:09:08,815 --> 01:09:09,750
some months,

1541
01:09:09,783 --> 01:09:14,287
we had thousands of dollars
and we were‐‐

1542
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:15,689
Let's go to Mardi Gras and get‐‐

1543
01:09:15,722 --> 01:09:17,591
get up and go to the airport
and go to Mardi Gras.

1544
01:09:17,624 --> 01:09:21,394
But I went from that
to minimum wage, a lot of debt,

1545
01:09:21,427 --> 01:09:25,398
living at my mother's house
with a six‐month‐old baby.

1546
01:09:25,431 --> 01:09:26,399
Yeah, it was drastic.

1547
01:09:26,432 --> 01:09:27,267
[chuckles]

1548
01:09:27,300 --> 01:09:28,434
Drastic.

1549
01:09:28,468 --> 01:09:31,404
It was hard, it was real hard.

1550
01:09:31,437 --> 01:09:34,675
And no, I didn't enjoy it,
because it was hard.

1551
01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:37,343
I didn't get to really enjoy
my kids growing up.

1552
01:09:38,545 --> 01:09:39,713
‐So...
‐[Luke] You were working?

1553
01:09:39,746 --> 01:09:40,781
Mm‐Hm.

1554
01:09:42,849 --> 01:09:45,251
[Luke] Mom had dated Randy
and, apparently,

1555
01:09:45,285 --> 01:09:48,488
we had lived with him
before we lived with Ron.

1556
01:09:48,522 --> 01:09:51,658
But both Randy and Ron
worked at the Red Dog,

1557
01:09:51,692 --> 01:09:54,895
and Randy came in
and was talking to her,

1558
01:09:54,928 --> 01:09:57,463
and Ron got pissed off.

1559
01:09:57,497 --> 01:10:00,266
Ron got jealous about this.

1560
01:10:00,300 --> 01:10:03,336
Wrong night, wrong time.

1561
01:10:03,369 --> 01:10:04,971
This became a thing.

1562
01:10:05,005 --> 01:10:06,640
Ron was sitting on the toilet.

1563
01:10:06,673 --> 01:10:08,341
He always sat
on the toilet back there

1564
01:10:08,374 --> 01:10:10,777
with the fucking door open,
taking a shit.

1565
01:10:10,811 --> 01:10:13,947
I mean, that was just‐‐
We called him Runny Ronny.

1566
01:10:13,980 --> 01:10:14,815
He drank so much tequila,

1567
01:10:14,848 --> 01:10:17,651
he had the shits constantly,
you know.

1568
01:10:17,684 --> 01:10:20,420
And he was drunk. He was drunk.
And I knew he was drunk.

1569
01:10:20,453 --> 01:10:24,257
He could have such a lovely
laughter about him

1570
01:10:24,290 --> 01:10:25,425
that I would love‐‐

1571
01:10:25,458 --> 01:10:26,727
I could love him so much,

1572
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:28,829
but I could hate him so much.

1573
01:10:28,862 --> 01:10:31,364
And he said, "You know what?"
"He said,"

1574
01:10:31,397 --> 01:10:32,298
"You need to quit talk‐‐

1575
01:10:32,332 --> 01:10:33,934
I don't want you to talk
to him anymore,

1576
01:10:34,701 --> 01:10:37,704
You're never gonna be
anything but mine,

1577
01:10:37,738 --> 01:10:40,641
you're never gonna be
anything but a drunk,

1578
01:10:40,674 --> 01:10:43,677
you'll be here
until you can go no more.

1579
01:10:45,912 --> 01:10:47,648
And I...

1580
01:10:48,381 --> 01:10:50,350
thought that was a really
fucked up thing

1581
01:10:50,383 --> 01:10:51,652
to say to somebody.

1582
01:10:53,053 --> 01:10:54,988
And he got up,

1583
01:10:55,021 --> 01:10:58,424
and here's that big pile
of fucking shit in the toilet

1584
01:10:58,458 --> 01:11:01,528
and the keys
were lobbed right in there.

1585
01:11:01,562 --> 01:11:02,863
And I said, "Go fishing."

1586
01:11:02,896 --> 01:11:04,631
And...

1587
01:11:04,665 --> 01:11:08,635
I got the sluggy sluggo
in the face of my life

1588
01:11:08,669 --> 01:11:12,372
and I said goodbye and I‐‐

1589
01:11:12,405 --> 01:11:14,074
[Luke] What did he do to you?

1590
01:11:14,107 --> 01:11:16,943
He slugged me in the face.

1591
01:11:16,977 --> 01:11:19,913
Because I lobbed his keys
in the toilet.

1592
01:11:19,946 --> 01:11:21,848
With a bunch
of shit in the toilet.

1593
01:11:22,883 --> 01:11:26,419
And I said, "Fuck you, goodbye.
That'll be the last time."

1594
01:11:29,355 --> 01:11:33,059
So I walked out of the backdoor,
and Randy was sitting there

1595
01:11:33,093 --> 01:11:35,028
and he looked at me and he knew

1596
01:11:35,061 --> 01:11:37,664
by the looks in my face
that I just been‐‐

1597
01:11:37,698 --> 01:11:40,601
He said, "You need
to get out of here right now

1598
01:11:40,634 --> 01:11:43,303
for a little while, come on,
I'll take you for a ride."

1599
01:11:43,804 --> 01:11:46,039
The next morning,
I went and picked you up

1600
01:11:46,072 --> 01:11:48,609
at the babysitter's house.

1601
01:11:48,642 --> 01:11:50,644
I went over to Ron's house,

1602
01:11:50,677 --> 01:11:54,047
got your crap, my crap,
we cleaned it out and‐‐

1603
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:58,685
I just remember he gets up
and says something to my mom

1604
01:11:58,719 --> 01:11:59,853
and I'm like, "Hey, Dad,"

1605
01:11:59,886 --> 01:12:03,489
you know, I'm sort of oblivious
<i>to whatever is happening</i>

1606
01:12:03,524 --> 01:12:05,692
between them,
I don't even understand.

1607
01:12:05,726 --> 01:12:07,127
And I just remember saying,
"Hey, Dad."

1608
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:08,829
And‐‐ and I still remember him
saying,

1609
01:12:09,963 --> 01:12:11,397
"Don't call me dad."

1610
01:12:12,766 --> 01:12:16,369
And I just remember,
like, being utterly shocked.

1611
01:12:16,402 --> 01:12:19,372
I didn't know, you know,
what‐‐ why would he say that.

1612
01:12:25,178 --> 01:12:28,882
[Kim] Within a week,
Randy said what we're gonna do

1613
01:12:28,915 --> 01:12:30,917
is we're gonna get married.

1614
01:12:30,951 --> 01:12:32,185
And I said, I don't love you.

1615
01:12:32,218 --> 01:12:35,155
And he goes, "You're gonna learn
to love me. It'll be all right."

1616
01:12:35,188 --> 01:12:37,090
I'll get you out of here.

1617
01:12:37,123 --> 01:12:40,460
You need to‐‐ you need to quit
and get out of this life."

1618
01:12:42,028 --> 01:12:45,666
[Luke] So it was like this
immediate transition, you know,

1619
01:12:45,699 --> 01:12:48,101
but it was another thing
where can I call you dad,

1620
01:12:48,134 --> 01:12:50,403
you know, and he said, "Sure."

1621
01:12:50,436 --> 01:12:53,139
And then he was Dad.

1622
01:12:58,812 --> 01:12:59,713
But I was happy, you know.

1623
01:12:59,746 --> 01:13:01,882
I mean, it was somebody else
who seemed‐‐

1624
01:13:03,884 --> 01:13:05,852
who seem solid, you know.

1625
01:13:11,525 --> 01:13:13,126
And I had a brother.

1626
01:13:14,995 --> 01:13:18,498
[Randy] Jeanne had
actual legal custody of him,

1627
01:13:18,532 --> 01:13:21,001
but he lived with me

1628
01:13:21,034 --> 01:13:22,803
and it was about the time

1629
01:13:22,836 --> 01:13:26,573
that you and your mother
and I got together.

1630
01:13:26,607 --> 01:13:27,741
Yeah, you loved it.

1631
01:13:27,774 --> 01:13:30,076
I mean, you instantly had
an older brother,

1632
01:13:30,110 --> 01:13:32,746
and you and Ty got along great.

1633
01:13:32,779 --> 01:13:37,083
I was so fucking excited
to have a brother, you know.

1634
01:13:37,117 --> 01:13:41,087
I remember
sharing bunk beds together,

1635
01:13:41,121 --> 01:13:45,058
and we had this train track
and we had, uh...

1636
01:13:46,192 --> 01:13:47,794
We did brother stuff together.

1637
01:13:47,828 --> 01:13:49,462
You know,
Dad would take us fishing.

1638
01:13:50,063 --> 01:13:52,633
And I don't know how long
that carried on

1639
01:13:52,666 --> 01:13:56,570
until just one day he was gone.

1640
01:13:58,772 --> 01:14:02,609
And mom said he wasn't
coming back, you know.

1641
01:14:02,643 --> 01:14:06,012
And now I don't get to have
a brother, you know.

1642
01:14:06,046 --> 01:14:07,113
And I never really knew why,

1643
01:14:07,147 --> 01:14:10,517
and I don't know how
you fucking erase that as a kid.

1644
01:14:10,551 --> 01:14:12,819
Like, asked the question
every day,

1645
01:14:12,853 --> 01:14:15,121
"Where's Ty?
What happened to Ty?"

1646
01:14:15,155 --> 01:14:16,857
I'd quit the Red Dog

1647
01:14:16,890 --> 01:14:21,027
and I went in
to take money in one day.

1648
01:14:21,061 --> 01:14:23,930
David had stayed there
at the house with the kids.

1649
01:14:23,964 --> 01:14:26,667
When I came back,
David and Nakia

1650
01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:27,801
were on the couch.

1651
01:14:27,834 --> 01:14:30,270
Tyson was nowhere around.

1652
01:14:30,303 --> 01:14:32,973
I ask him where Tyson was,
he said he's out there

1653
01:14:33,006 --> 01:14:35,241
playing around the tree house.

1654
01:14:35,275 --> 01:14:37,844
Went outside, no Tyson.
I went everywhere.

1655
01:14:37,878 --> 01:14:39,112
And this is out in the country.

1656
01:14:39,913 --> 01:14:41,748
And I couldn't find Tyson
anywhere.

1657
01:14:41,782 --> 01:14:43,083
I ended up calling the police.

1658
01:14:43,817 --> 01:14:46,887
And we had dogs, helicopters,

1659
01:14:46,920 --> 01:14:48,855
all of that out there looking.

1660
01:14:48,889 --> 01:14:52,125
And then they found out
that David was not the father,

1661
01:14:52,158 --> 01:14:53,994
he was the boyfriend.

1662
01:14:54,027 --> 01:14:56,963
In my opinion, he probably
thought the same of me,

1663
01:14:56,997 --> 01:14:59,833
but in my opinion,
he was a lowlife son of a bitch,

1664
01:14:59,866 --> 01:15:03,670
and I didn't want
my children around him.

1665
01:15:03,704 --> 01:15:05,038
She wouldn't let me
see the kids,

1666
01:15:05,071 --> 01:15:07,207
she wouldn't tell me anything.

1667
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:10,110
So I started following.

1668
01:15:10,143 --> 01:15:12,813
And I pulled up one day

1669
01:15:12,846 --> 01:15:15,281
and Tyson's running down
the road in his underwear

1670
01:15:15,315 --> 01:15:17,217
and he goes, "Daddy, Daddy."

1671
01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:21,888
And he got in the truck with me
and I took him home.

1672
01:15:21,922 --> 01:15:24,858
Well, this was on a weekend,
and I was working

1673
01:15:24,891 --> 01:15:28,862
in some little town
up in Kansas.

1674
01:15:28,895 --> 01:15:31,131
So they call
Randy's mom and dad.

1675
01:15:31,164 --> 01:15:33,634
I just begged, begged,
begged her,

1676
01:15:33,667 --> 01:15:36,670
"Please, if he has him,
fine, fine,

1677
01:15:36,703 --> 01:15:39,873
just let me know that he's okay,
that he's safe."

1678
01:15:39,906 --> 01:15:41,942
And she, eventually,
did give in and say,

1679
01:15:41,975 --> 01:15:44,144
"Yes, Randy did steal him."

1680
01:15:44,177 --> 01:15:48,649
I got up one morning,
and Eldorado Police

1681
01:15:48,682 --> 01:15:51,117
was setting
in the motel parking lot.

1682
01:15:51,151 --> 01:15:54,120
So anyway,
I called my boss at work

1683
01:15:54,154 --> 01:15:57,057
and I said, "Gotta quit,

1684
01:15:57,724 --> 01:16:01,161
police is up here looking for me
and I'm gonna‐‐

1685
01:16:01,194 --> 01:16:02,963
I'm going to New Mexico."

1686
01:16:04,164 --> 01:16:06,833
I just stayed
on the lam for a while.

1687
01:16:06,867 --> 01:16:10,036
Randy would just move from town
to town to town to town,

1688
01:16:10,070 --> 01:16:12,673
and you would have to ask him
exactly where all he went.

1689
01:16:13,674 --> 01:16:15,809
[Luke] What did you and Ty do
when you're out in New Mexico?

1690
01:16:15,842 --> 01:16:16,810
What was your life like?

1691
01:16:16,843 --> 01:16:20,814
Oh, we'd run around
and look at Gila monsters

1692
01:16:20,847 --> 01:16:22,115
and whatever, you know,

1693
01:16:22,148 --> 01:16:25,018
we'd run around and...

1694
01:16:25,051 --> 01:16:27,120
I don't know,
it was‐‐ it's just‐‐

1695
01:16:27,153 --> 01:16:28,789
It's the good old days,
you know.

1696
01:16:28,822 --> 01:16:30,791
Everybody was pretty carefree

1697
01:16:30,824 --> 01:16:36,396
and they're easy going
and it was‐‐ it was fun.

1698
01:16:36,429 --> 01:16:40,233
I would sit and watch
Randy's friends' places

1699
01:16:40,266 --> 01:16:41,902
hoping to get a glimpse.

1700
01:16:41,935 --> 01:16:45,338
And I did actually get
in contact with Randy one time,

1701
01:16:45,371 --> 01:16:48,975
and he said he would meet me
at Crossroads Mall,

1702
01:16:49,009 --> 01:16:51,377
and we would talk
about the whole situation.

1703
01:16:51,411 --> 01:16:53,814
And he brought Tyson with him.

1704
01:16:53,847 --> 01:16:58,985
Oh, man, whoa,
what a relief to finally see

1705
01:16:59,019 --> 01:17:00,954
my firstborn child.

1706
01:17:00,987 --> 01:17:02,756
After all this time,

1707
01:17:02,789 --> 01:17:04,390
he still remembered me.

1708
01:17:04,424 --> 01:17:06,827
He came running to me,

1709
01:17:06,860 --> 01:17:12,265
and I agreed to let Tyson
continue to live with Randy

1710
01:17:12,298 --> 01:17:15,035
as long as he didn't take off
with him again,

1711
01:17:15,068 --> 01:17:17,838
because he told me if I tried
to take him back,

1712
01:17:17,871 --> 01:17:19,840
even though I had
full custody by that time,

1713
01:17:19,873 --> 01:17:23,009
I had filed for divorce,
had received full custody,

1714
01:17:23,043 --> 01:17:26,346
that he would just take him
again and maybe Nakia, too,

1715
01:17:26,379 --> 01:17:29,149
and I would never
see either one of them again.

1716
01:17:29,182 --> 01:17:33,887
I don't know, I‐‐ I don't know
exactly how you could say...

1717
01:17:36,089 --> 01:17:38,191
anything
that makes sense of that

1718
01:17:38,224 --> 01:17:42,195
when you think back on it,
but, uh...

1719
01:17:44,097 --> 01:17:47,467
And it was during that timeframe

1720
01:17:47,500 --> 01:17:50,136
that he and your mom
got together.

1721
01:17:50,170 --> 01:17:54,374
Jeanne didn't want
Tyson around Kim,

1722
01:17:54,407 --> 01:17:57,678
and I don't know why.

1723
01:17:58,244 --> 01:18:01,682
Your mom and Randy had gotten
into a knife fight.

1724
01:18:04,450 --> 01:18:07,387
It's, like, something I just‐‐

1725
01:18:07,420 --> 01:18:10,323
[chuckles]

1726
01:18:11,825 --> 01:18:14,060
It's so...

1727
01:18:14,094 --> 01:18:16,362
far away from my life

1728
01:18:16,396 --> 01:18:20,066
and what I ever want
my relationships to be.

1729
01:18:20,100 --> 01:18:21,968
[chuckles]

1730
01:18:22,002 --> 01:18:24,137
I can't help
but just laugh about it,

1731
01:18:24,170 --> 01:18:26,039
I guess, you know.

1732
01:18:26,072 --> 01:18:29,442
Your mother was drinking
Southern Comfort.

1733
01:18:29,475 --> 01:18:34,347
I was drinking Southern Comfort
doing the old Janis Joplin deal

1734
01:18:34,380 --> 01:18:36,482
and we all got really,
really wasted

1735
01:18:36,517 --> 01:18:38,184
and we got back to the house.

1736
01:18:38,218 --> 01:18:40,020
I don't even know
what we were fighting about.

1737
01:18:40,053 --> 01:18:42,155
I don't remember
what we were fighting about.

1738
01:18:42,188 --> 01:18:43,824
But he said something to me,

1739
01:18:43,857 --> 01:18:45,859
and I took a knife
and pulled it on him.

1740
01:18:45,892 --> 01:18:50,797
I reached out and grabbed a hold
of the knife and turned it.

1741
01:18:50,831 --> 01:18:54,067
He grabbed it the backwards
way out of my hand.

1742
01:18:55,501 --> 01:18:59,005
Her hand went across the blade,
well, it light her hand up

1743
01:18:59,039 --> 01:19:01,908
and from all the way across
the palm of her hand

1744
01:19:01,942 --> 01:19:03,309
to the tip of her finger.

1745
01:19:03,343 --> 01:19:05,979
As I remember,
it was pretty bloody.

1746
01:19:06,012 --> 01:19:09,950
I ended up at the hospital
getting a bunch of stitches,

1747
01:19:09,983 --> 01:19:13,053
you know,
and‐‐ and I got what I got.

1748
01:19:13,086 --> 01:19:15,288
If you can't even pull
a knife right on somebody,

1749
01:19:15,321 --> 01:19:17,958
then you ought not
be pulling it, you know?

1750
01:19:17,991 --> 01:19:20,293
I shouldn't have‐‐
shouldn't have done it.

1751
01:19:20,326 --> 01:19:23,263
I learned right then
I'm not good with knives.

1752
01:19:23,296 --> 01:19:25,098
[laughs]

1753
01:19:25,131 --> 01:19:28,234
Your mom and Randy had
gotten in that knife fight.

1754
01:19:28,268 --> 01:19:31,171
When I walked in to get
Tyson that time, though,

1755
01:19:31,905 --> 01:19:34,440
there was a guy sitting
in the chair, and he asked me

1756
01:19:34,474 --> 01:19:36,476
if I had an extra needle on me.

1757
01:19:37,143 --> 01:19:39,445
I'm here to pick up my child.

1758
01:19:40,180 --> 01:19:42,315
Go into the bedroom,
you're in the bedroom,

1759
01:19:42,348 --> 01:19:46,019
you guys have been playing
with the little Matchbox cars.

1760
01:19:46,052 --> 01:19:48,288
And you acted kind of sad.

1761
01:19:48,321 --> 01:19:51,324
But he‐‐ you told him,
"I'll see you later."

1762
01:19:51,357 --> 01:19:56,162
I remember just not knowing
where he went.

1763
01:19:56,196 --> 01:19:59,265
Um, and then,

1764
01:19:59,299 --> 01:20:03,203
honestly, I never saw him again
until I was 12 years old

1765
01:20:03,236 --> 01:20:06,540
and never really knowing
what that story was.

1766
01:20:07,373 --> 01:20:08,341
Kind of fucking nervous.

1767
01:20:08,374 --> 01:20:11,512
[chuckles]

1768
01:20:11,545 --> 01:20:15,148
Hello, brother that I haven't
talked to in 25 years,

1769
01:20:15,181 --> 01:20:16,550
I like to ask you some stuff
about...

1770
01:20:16,583 --> 01:20:18,184
[clears his throat]

1771
01:20:18,218 --> 01:20:19,853
...both of our mothers
and our father.

1772
01:20:19,886 --> 01:20:20,521
[sniffles]

1773
01:20:20,554 --> 01:20:21,955
Um...

1774
01:20:24,658 --> 01:20:26,527
I guess we're gonna do this.

1775
01:20:29,563 --> 01:20:32,132
[dial tone]

1776
01:20:37,037 --> 01:20:38,238
[distorted voice on the phone]

1777
01:20:42,308 --> 01:20:44,444
[Tyson] My memories
really start kicking in

1778
01:20:44,477 --> 01:20:46,379
is when my mom got me back.

1779
01:20:46,412 --> 01:20:52,018
Uh, and I just remember
knowing that it was my mom.

1780
01:20:52,052 --> 01:20:53,620
Like, I remember just‐‐

1781
01:20:53,654 --> 01:20:56,356
I don't know why, I just‐‐
I knew that it was my mom.

1782
01:20:56,389 --> 01:20:59,459
I remember crying,
I remember her crying, and she‐‐

1783
01:20:59,492 --> 01:21:01,528
She‐‐ you know, she ran over
to me and she picked me up

1784
01:21:01,562 --> 01:21:06,166
and I remember
being just so happy.

1785
01:21:06,199 --> 01:21:07,467
Uh...

1786
01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:17,043
[Luke]
Man, I really enjoyed this.

1787
01:21:17,077 --> 01:21:19,613
I just‐‐ I would
love to connect back.

1788
01:21:19,646 --> 01:21:21,948
I don't know if it's in Florida,
I don't know if it's in Oklahoma

1789
01:21:21,982 --> 01:21:23,517
or Nashville or‐‐

1790
01:21:23,550 --> 01:21:25,285
or the West Coast
or something like that,

1791
01:21:25,318 --> 01:21:27,588
but, man, it would be cool
to hang out a little bit.

1792
01:21:27,621 --> 01:21:30,123
[Tyson] Yeah, all right.
I agree 100%.

1793
01:21:30,156 --> 01:21:31,592
That'd be awesome.

1794
01:21:33,994 --> 01:21:36,162
[Luke] Did you feel like you
buried the hatchet somehow?

1795
01:21:36,196 --> 01:21:38,464
Oh, yeah, Randy and I
have buried the hatchet

1796
01:21:38,498 --> 01:21:40,166
many years ago.

1797
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:42,235
He's been‐‐
he's been a good man.

1798
01:21:42,268 --> 01:21:44,270
He's always been a good man.

1799
01:21:44,304 --> 01:21:46,272
[Randy] I don't know,
I've always felt

1800
01:21:46,306 --> 01:21:49,075
like I've been a pretty well
solid down‐to‐earth guy

1801
01:21:49,109 --> 01:21:51,077
that came home
every night after work

1802
01:21:51,111 --> 01:21:53,346
and did
what I was supposed to do

1803
01:21:53,379 --> 01:21:55,949
as a husband and a father.

1804
01:21:55,982 --> 01:21:58,284
[Jeanne]
I always did love Randy.

1805
01:21:58,318 --> 01:22:00,687
But did you ever go out there

1806
01:22:00,721 --> 01:22:03,724
when he‐‐ he had the car door

1807
01:22:03,757 --> 01:22:05,559
that he used to shut
the dryer door

1808
01:22:05,592 --> 01:22:06,527
to hold the dryer door?

1809
01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:08,294
Okay. Okay.

1810
01:22:08,328 --> 01:22:10,163
My point being, all these years,

1811
01:22:10,196 --> 01:22:11,598
and he'd still do
something like that

1812
01:22:11,632 --> 01:22:14,067
instead
of fixing the dryer door.

1813
01:22:15,536 --> 01:22:17,738
[Luke] When Tyson disappeared,

1814
01:22:17,771 --> 01:22:20,574
shortly after that,
we moved out to the country.

1815
01:22:20,607 --> 01:22:26,513
And so there was a really just
a huge shift in our lifestyle.

1816
01:22:27,180 --> 01:22:29,282
I mean, it was actually
kind of rough at first.

1817
01:22:29,315 --> 01:22:31,184
There was,
like, no water out there

1818
01:22:31,217 --> 01:22:32,986
for I don't know how long,

1819
01:22:33,019 --> 01:22:35,388
I mean, like, maybe
half a year or something.

1820
01:22:35,421 --> 01:22:37,090
We'd have to cart water in.

1821
01:22:38,491 --> 01:22:42,095
I wanted to get her away
from her old friends

1822
01:22:42,128 --> 01:22:43,496
that she ran with

1823
01:22:43,530 --> 01:22:46,466
'cause she would get
out of control.

1824
01:22:47,133 --> 01:22:48,635
[Luke] My life growing up

1825
01:22:48,669 --> 01:22:50,604
was nothing
like the inside of the Red Dog.

1826
01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:52,105
There were wheat fields,

1827
01:22:52,138 --> 01:22:54,340
and dirt patches,

1828
01:22:54,374 --> 01:22:57,578
and red rock cliffs,
and baseball, and football,

1829
01:22:57,611 --> 01:23:00,781
and no nude dancing allowed.

1830
01:23:00,814 --> 01:23:02,549
Half the churches
where I grew up

1831
01:23:02,583 --> 01:23:04,417
didn't allow dancing.

1832
01:23:04,450 --> 01:23:07,487
I mean, it's not like we moved
a hundred miles away.

1833
01:23:07,521 --> 01:23:09,790
We're only 40 miles
from Oklahoma City.

1834
01:23:09,823 --> 01:23:13,594
But you find out when you live
40 miles from somebody

1835
01:23:13,627 --> 01:23:15,195
who your friends are.

1836
01:23:16,830 --> 01:23:19,432
I don't know if I saw it then,
but I felt it, you know,

1837
01:23:19,465 --> 01:23:22,402
that he's making a home‐‐
This is dad, he's doing this,

1838
01:23:22,435 --> 01:23:24,470
he's going to work, he's‐‐

1839
01:23:24,504 --> 01:23:27,240
You know, he comes home,
and then he watches TV

1840
01:23:27,273 --> 01:23:29,075
and I watch TV with him.

1841
01:23:29,109 --> 01:23:30,811
I remember watching
Wild America with him.

1842
01:23:30,844 --> 01:23:33,213
We used to, like, to watch
nature shows together.

1843
01:23:35,782 --> 01:23:37,551
[Randy] I wanted you to mind,

1844
01:23:37,584 --> 01:23:39,385
I wanted you
to tell me the truth

1845
01:23:40,253 --> 01:23:46,192
and I wanted you to excel
at whatever you tried to do.

1846
01:23:46,226 --> 01:23:48,094
And I was there to help you.

1847
01:23:49,730 --> 01:23:52,766
Those were my goals as a parent.

1848
01:23:57,370 --> 01:23:58,605
[Kim] When kids are involved,

1849
01:23:58,639 --> 01:24:00,340
when you have kids
and kids are involved,

1850
01:24:00,841 --> 01:24:03,276
that's what makes you
start thinking.

1851
01:24:03,309 --> 01:24:05,078
Okay, should I be doing this?

1852
01:24:05,111 --> 01:24:06,713
Should I be doing this?
Should I be doing this?

1853
01:24:06,747 --> 01:24:09,716
When kids are involved,
it all changes.

1854
01:24:09,750 --> 01:24:11,351
I think everybody
can agree with that.

1855
01:24:12,118 --> 01:24:16,489
I thought I will make a way,

1856
01:24:16,523 --> 01:24:18,559
I will make a way.

1857
01:24:18,592 --> 01:24:21,461
It may not be‐‐

1858
01:24:21,494 --> 01:24:24,330
[chuckling] I may not get
an A‐plus for this,

1859
01:24:24,364 --> 01:24:26,166
I might not even get a B,

1860
01:24:26,199 --> 01:24:27,568
but I thought
if I can just get a C,

1861
01:24:27,601 --> 01:24:30,604
if I can get an average,
you know.

1862
01:24:30,637 --> 01:24:34,775
And I felt
like I got an average.

1863
01:24:38,679 --> 01:24:42,148
[Luke] Mom always said
Randy saved her life,

1864
01:24:42,182 --> 01:24:43,817
and I think
there's something to it.

1865
01:24:45,351 --> 01:24:48,221
Truth be told,
he probably saved mine too.

1866
01:24:51,825 --> 01:24:56,830
[Kim] Me and Randy have known
each other for fucking 40 years,

1867
01:24:56,863 --> 01:25:01,902
and we had been great friends.

1868
01:25:01,935 --> 01:25:05,138
We were just different people.

1869
01:25:05,171 --> 01:25:07,908
I think I broke his heart.

1870
01:25:07,941 --> 01:25:10,343
I think I broke his heart.

1871
01:25:12,378 --> 01:25:13,647
[Randy] Uh...

1872
01:25:14,915 --> 01:25:18,184
I don't know, I think we were
good for each other at first.

1873
01:25:18,218 --> 01:25:19,452
[Luke] Right.

1874
01:25:29,730 --> 01:25:32,533
[Kim] I thought, "Okay,
where is some kind of happiness

1875
01:25:32,566 --> 01:25:34,234
and some kind of a medium

1876
01:25:34,267 --> 01:25:37,437
of being with somebody
and having a life?"

1877
01:25:37,470 --> 01:25:39,840
And that was not a life for me.

1878
01:25:39,873 --> 01:25:43,176
And I went on a vacation.

1879
01:25:43,209 --> 01:25:45,378
My yearly vacation
with Nasty Cathy

1880
01:25:45,411 --> 01:25:47,848
where we'd go camping
or do something.

1881
01:25:47,881 --> 01:25:50,717
And me and Cathy
were extremely drunk.

1882
01:25:50,751 --> 01:25:53,253
That was part of the weekend,
was building fires

1883
01:25:53,286 --> 01:25:56,389
and getting drunk and eating
barbecued Vienna sausages.

1884
01:25:56,422 --> 01:26:00,226
They're pretty simplistic goals,
but that's what our goal was.

1885
01:26:00,260 --> 01:26:01,194
And...

1886
01:26:02,462 --> 01:26:04,397
You know, "Oh, hey,"

1887
01:26:04,430 --> 01:26:06,466
you know, "Hey, you girls,"
and blah, blah, blah.

1888
01:26:06,499 --> 01:26:08,468
And, you know,
you're on a camping trip,

1889
01:26:08,501 --> 01:26:10,871
you're not gonna
be talking about deep crap

1890
01:26:10,904 --> 01:26:12,939
or anything like that,
but, you know, he goes,

1891
01:26:12,973 --> 01:26:15,241
"I wrestled
when I was in high school,"

1892
01:26:15,275 --> 01:26:16,376
and blah, blah, blah, you know.

1893
01:26:16,409 --> 01:26:18,945
And Cathy said, "I bet‐‐
You know how to leg wrestle?

1894
01:26:18,979 --> 01:26:22,215
'Cause I bet the bitch
can beat your ass."

1895
01:26:22,248 --> 01:26:23,950
And he says, "She can't."

1896
01:26:24,685 --> 01:26:26,587
Cathy goes, "Yeah, I got‐‐

1897
01:26:26,620 --> 01:26:28,522
I'll put money on her
right now."

1898
01:26:28,555 --> 01:26:31,725
Well, it was dirt,
was dirt out in there,

1899
01:26:31,758 --> 01:26:33,760
which neither
one of us gave a shit.

1900
01:26:33,794 --> 01:26:34,761
He said, "I'll do it."

1901
01:26:35,929 --> 01:26:39,633
So we got down in the dirt
and did leg wrestling.

1902
01:26:39,666 --> 01:26:43,670
And when he hooked up with me,
he‐‐ I sent him flying off

1903
01:26:43,704 --> 01:26:45,205
into the woods.

1904
01:26:46,439 --> 01:26:49,676
And he went,
"What the fuck was that?"

1905
01:26:49,710 --> 01:26:53,013
Well, I had leg wrestled
bouncers in the Red Dog,

1906
01:26:53,046 --> 01:26:55,582
I had leg wrestled
with my brothers,

1907
01:26:55,616 --> 01:26:59,485
I had leg wrestled all my life.

1908
01:26:59,520 --> 01:27:01,254
You know, after we leg wrestled,

1909
01:27:01,287 --> 01:27:03,557
we decided that it was
probably time for sex.

1910
01:27:05,425 --> 01:27:06,960
[chuckles]

1911
01:27:10,430 --> 01:27:12,899
In the end, it's turned out,

1912
01:27:12,933 --> 01:27:16,336
you know, I wouldn't
have it any other way.

1913
01:27:16,369 --> 01:27:19,573
You guys, you know, love him,
and he loves you and‐‐

1914
01:27:19,606 --> 01:27:22,809
And I mean, you know,
and it's been 20 plus years now,

1915
01:27:22,843 --> 01:27:26,446
going on 25,
and I've never been so happy.

1916
01:27:26,479 --> 01:27:27,581
Fuck you.

1917
01:27:27,614 --> 01:27:30,717
[chuckles]

1918
01:27:30,751 --> 01:27:33,453
[Luke] You know, a lot
of the Red Dog people

1919
01:27:33,486 --> 01:27:35,556
just sort of fell away.

1920
01:27:35,589 --> 01:27:37,958
The one person
that remained constant

1921
01:27:37,991 --> 01:27:41,762
in my mom's life
was Nasty Cathy and...

1922
01:27:41,795 --> 01:27:43,329
They always
just seemed to be there

1923
01:27:43,363 --> 01:27:44,497
for each other, you know,

1924
01:27:44,531 --> 01:27:48,001
through relationships
and divorces.

1925
01:27:48,034 --> 01:27:51,304
And I don't know why,
you know, I can't tell you,

1926
01:27:51,337 --> 01:27:53,940
you can't‐‐ it's hard to be
on the inside of a friendship.

1927
01:27:53,974 --> 01:27:56,777
We'd do a lake run once a month.

1928
01:27:56,810 --> 01:28:00,046
We loved to drive around
Lake Overholser together.

1929
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:03,349
We'd crack a tallboy,
drink teraund.

1930
01:28:03,383 --> 01:28:05,351
Everybody that had passed,

1931
01:28:05,385 --> 01:28:07,654
we would toast
to all the dead people

1932
01:28:07,688 --> 01:28:09,656
and talk
about all the funny stories

1933
01:28:09,690 --> 01:28:12,025
that happened
around Lake Overholser.

1934
01:28:12,793 --> 01:28:14,695
She stopped coming.

1935
01:28:14,728 --> 01:28:16,029
Something's wrong.

1936
01:28:16,062 --> 01:28:17,497
Something's wrong.

1937
01:28:17,531 --> 01:28:19,432
And when I went and saw her,

1938
01:28:19,465 --> 01:28:24,905
she was remarkably 20 pounds
thinner and looked terrible.

1939
01:28:24,938 --> 01:28:27,741
Eddie just let her drink
herself to death, you know.

1940
01:28:27,774 --> 01:28:30,811
He didn't do anything
to stop her and she started‐‐

1941
01:28:30,844 --> 01:28:32,913
So, I guess she hid
from your mom, you know.

1942
01:28:32,946 --> 01:28:34,715
She wouldn't hang out
with your mom anymore,

1943
01:28:34,748 --> 01:28:36,382
and that was her best friend.

1944
01:28:36,416 --> 01:28:38,685
So, I don't know,
I think that was kind of‐‐

1945
01:28:41,454 --> 01:28:44,090
Kind of what ruined
the end of her life.

1946
01:28:46,092 --> 01:28:47,794
I don't know.

1947
01:28:47,828 --> 01:28:51,665
Me and Cathy had talked
about life and death

1948
01:28:51,698 --> 01:28:53,066
for both of us.

1949
01:28:53,099 --> 01:28:57,470
We planned our old age
30 years ago,

1950
01:28:57,503 --> 01:29:01,007
that we were gonna move
into the apartment by the lake

1951
01:29:01,041 --> 01:29:06,647
and sit out there on the veranda
with cocktails and laugh.

1952
01:29:06,680 --> 01:29:09,983
That was gonna be the end
of our life was living together.

1953
01:29:11,752 --> 01:29:16,690
And I took one look at her
and knew it was imminent

1954
01:29:16,723 --> 01:29:19,893
and I pretty much pushed
your mom out of the way

1955
01:29:19,926 --> 01:29:21,628
and said I need to talk to her
for a minute

1956
01:29:21,662 --> 01:29:23,997
and gave her a kiss on her lips,

1957
01:29:24,030 --> 01:29:26,633
a big old wet sloppy ass kiss,

1958
01:29:26,667 --> 01:29:28,535
and told her that I loved her
and told her,

1959
01:29:28,569 --> 01:29:31,938
"You go on and fly
across that fucking lake.

1960
01:29:31,972 --> 01:29:37,511
Go, go, goodbye,
I'll see you on the other side."

1961
01:29:38,044 --> 01:29:39,713
And got in the car,
and got home.

1962
01:29:39,746 --> 01:29:41,147
And by the time I got home,

1963
01:29:41,181 --> 01:29:43,584
Eddie called me
and said she was gone.

1964
01:29:44,450 --> 01:29:46,653
So, she got to go.

1965
01:29:46,687 --> 01:29:49,055
She got to make the trip
across the fucking lake.

1966
01:29:50,123 --> 01:29:54,628
She's still there somewhere
flying around that fucking lake.

1967
01:29:54,661 --> 01:29:59,933
[wind chimes tinkling]

1968
01:30:01,067 --> 01:30:04,470
We should go back and‐‐
and just try to reconnect

1969
01:30:04,504 --> 01:30:07,007
here again after everything
that happened, you know?

1970
01:30:07,040 --> 01:30:09,776
I mean, I'd like to sit down
and have a conversation

1971
01:30:09,810 --> 01:30:11,177
like this with my mom, you know,

1972
01:30:11,211 --> 01:30:13,814
tell her all the things
that I loved that she did as,

1973
01:30:13,847 --> 01:30:15,882
you know, when I was a kid
and all the things that I hated.

1974
01:30:15,916 --> 01:30:17,818
You know, I'd like to be honest
with her about it again,

1975
01:30:17,851 --> 01:30:19,019
let her know.

1976
01:30:19,052 --> 01:30:22,022
You know, she's my mom and I
do love her and I miss her.

1977
01:30:22,055 --> 01:30:24,190
You know,
it'd be nice to tell her

1978
01:30:24,224 --> 01:30:26,192
that she didn't do
such a bad job, you know.

1979
01:30:26,226 --> 01:30:28,562
I came out pretty decent,
you know.

1980
01:30:30,263 --> 01:30:34,535
The next week, I bought
a bunch of helium balloons

1981
01:30:34,568 --> 01:30:36,136
because he wasn't
gonna bury her,

1982
01:30:36,169 --> 01:30:38,772
and I just went bought
a bunch of helium balloons

1983
01:30:38,805 --> 01:30:40,941
and took him out to the lake

1984
01:30:40,974 --> 01:30:43,977
and had my own damn
memorial service for her

1985
01:30:44,010 --> 01:30:48,448
and sat and watched the balloons
go across the lake.

1986
01:30:49,683 --> 01:30:53,053
And played music for us.

1987
01:30:53,086 --> 01:30:57,023
Said, "There you go.
Go girl, go."

1988
01:30:57,057 --> 01:30:58,992
[Luke] Do you remember
the song that you played?

1989
01:31:05,999 --> 01:31:07,701
Do you remember
the song that you played?

1990
01:31:07,734 --> 01:31:09,102
Yeah.

1991
01:31:11,104 --> 01:31:12,573
I do.

1992
01:31:14,875 --> 01:31:16,209
I do.

1993
01:31:17,978 --> 01:31:19,546
She always liked‐‐

1994
01:31:19,580 --> 01:31:22,015
This is so silly,
'cause it was‐‐

1995
01:31:22,048 --> 01:31:24,785
She always liked "My Maria."

1996
01:31:24,818 --> 01:31:26,720
She just loved that song.

1997
01:31:26,753 --> 01:31:27,921
We'd get in her car.

1998
01:31:27,954 --> 01:31:32,593
♪ Maria, Maria ♪

1999
01:31:32,626 --> 01:31:33,527
And we don't‐‐

2000
01:31:33,560 --> 01:31:34,995
We didn't even know
anybody named Maria.

2001
01:31:36,630 --> 01:31:38,498
But...

2002
01:31:41,602 --> 01:31:44,170
I was always trying
to turn her on to new music.

2003
01:31:44,204 --> 01:31:46,907
She didn't‐‐ She never liked it.

2004
01:31:46,940 --> 01:31:49,175
She'd go, "No, no, no."

2005
01:31:49,209 --> 01:31:51,845
She didn't like new music.

2006
01:31:51,878 --> 01:31:53,814
She didn't like new music.

2007
01:31:53,847 --> 01:31:57,984
["My Maria"
by B. W. Stevenson playing]

2008
01:32:10,764 --> 01:32:12,699
[Luke] My mom finally
went back to school

2009
01:32:12,733 --> 01:32:13,967
after I was out of high school.

2010
01:32:15,101 --> 01:32:17,738
[Kim] <i>I thought I can't just go</i>
<i>to a GED school</i>

2011
01:32:17,771 --> 01:32:18,972
and just take a test
and pass it.

2012
01:32:19,005 --> 01:32:20,340
I knew I couldn't pass it.

2013
01:32:20,373 --> 01:32:22,609
So I went to an adult class.

2014
01:32:22,643 --> 01:32:25,145
Dug my heels in,
I'd grab a beer on the way home

2015
01:32:25,178 --> 01:32:27,781
and cry and study and think,

2016
01:32:27,814 --> 01:32:29,783
"I'm not gonna get it,
I'm not gonna get it,

2017
01:32:29,816 --> 01:32:31,351
I'm not gonna get it"

2018
01:32:31,384 --> 01:32:33,219
and after six months,

2019
01:32:33,253 --> 01:32:36,690
I went and took the test
and passed it.

2020
01:32:36,723 --> 01:32:40,861
And you would have thought
that I was a PhD.

2021
01:32:40,894 --> 01:32:43,229
You know, it was hard,
but I got it.

2022
01:32:43,263 --> 01:32:44,097
I got it.

2023
01:32:44,130 --> 01:32:46,633
I'm an adult
going back to high school.

2024
01:32:46,667 --> 01:32:47,668
[chuckles]

2025
01:32:47,701 --> 01:32:48,902
I've got two kids.

2026
01:32:48,935 --> 01:32:51,838
I'm working, but I got that GED,

2027
01:32:51,872 --> 01:32:54,775
and I went on
and I got my bachelor's degree.

2028
01:32:54,808 --> 01:32:55,709
I wanted more out of life.

2029
01:32:55,742 --> 01:32:58,945
I wanted a home
and, you know, a vehicle

2030
01:32:58,979 --> 01:33:01,281
and I wanted money put back
and, you know,

2031
01:33:01,314 --> 01:33:02,949
I wanted a place at the lake

2032
01:33:02,983 --> 01:33:06,987
and just more, you know,
so I worked hard for it.

2033
01:33:07,721 --> 01:33:09,623
[Luke] So now
what's your life like?

2034
01:33:09,656 --> 01:33:10,624
Easy.

2035
01:33:10,657 --> 01:33:12,125
[laughs]

2036
01:33:12,158 --> 01:33:13,694
[Connie]
When I got out of treatment

2037
01:33:13,727 --> 01:33:15,195
and I filed divorce papers,

2038
01:33:15,228 --> 01:33:17,163
divorce date,
he wasn't ready to quit.

2039
01:33:17,197 --> 01:33:20,400
I knew I couldn't be with him
and not do anything.

2040
01:33:20,433 --> 01:33:23,837
He got sober
about two years later.

2041
01:33:23,870 --> 01:33:26,106
Was still around
because of our son.

2042
01:33:26,973 --> 01:33:29,042
And then he wanted to go
to a concert

2043
01:33:29,075 --> 01:33:30,176
and wanted me to go with him

2044
01:33:30,210 --> 01:33:33,647
because it's safer to go
with somebody else that's sober.

2045
01:33:33,680 --> 01:33:35,348
That was his excuse.

2046
01:33:35,381 --> 01:33:38,151
I said, you know,
I'm not the same girl I was.

2047
01:33:38,184 --> 01:33:40,053
You may not like me now.

2048
01:33:40,086 --> 01:33:42,422
I told him everything's
gonna be different this time.

2049
01:33:42,455 --> 01:33:44,124
This time we're not
going to the courthouse.

2050
01:33:44,157 --> 01:33:45,826
This time you're gonna get
down on your knee

2051
01:33:45,859 --> 01:33:46,627
and you're gonna propose

2052
01:33:46,660 --> 01:33:47,594
and you're gonna get me
a diamond

2053
01:33:47,628 --> 01:33:49,763
and we're gonna get married
in the church.

2054
01:33:49,796 --> 01:33:52,432
And it‐‐ and he did it all.

2055
01:33:52,465 --> 01:33:55,001
He did it all,
and it was different, so...

2056
01:33:55,769 --> 01:33:58,071
We've been together since 1974.

2057
01:33:58,104 --> 01:34:01,708
March of 1974
is when we first got together.

2058
01:34:02,175 --> 01:34:05,812
So we had an eight‐year split
in the‐‐ in there somewhere.

2059
01:34:09,282 --> 01:34:13,186
‐[Luke] You enjoyed your life?
‐Oh, yeah. I won.

2060
01:34:15,321 --> 01:34:18,925
As far as I am concerned, I won.
As far she's concerned, I won.

2061
01:34:20,326 --> 01:34:22,896
I had about...

2062
01:34:22,929 --> 01:34:25,398
all total back to back,
day after day,

2063
01:34:25,431 --> 01:34:27,400
seven years setback

2064
01:34:27,433 --> 01:34:29,069
without a‐‐

2065
01:34:29,102 --> 01:34:31,271
67 years
with a seven‐year setback,

2066
01:34:31,304 --> 01:34:33,840
I won. Look around.

2067
01:34:34,975 --> 01:34:37,143
[Ray] I don't know, I'm pretty
proud of the whole thing.

2068
01:34:37,811 --> 01:34:39,680
I have lot of things
I could have done better.

2069
01:34:41,114 --> 01:34:42,448
Some things I might have changed

2070
01:34:42,482 --> 01:34:45,118
that I don't
really know right now.

2071
01:34:46,052 --> 01:34:49,389
Just got to go day to day
trying to do your best, I guess.

2072
01:34:50,757 --> 01:34:51,825
[Tiny] Regrets?

2073
01:34:51,858 --> 01:34:54,995
Yeah, I got caught.

2074
01:34:55,028 --> 01:34:58,331
They got my mug, my fingerprints

2075
01:34:58,364 --> 01:35:02,135
and my name and my aliases

2076
01:35:02,168 --> 01:35:07,040
and my picture in gang books

2077
01:35:07,073 --> 01:35:10,243
and mug shots in prisons.

2078
01:35:10,276 --> 01:35:13,046
You know, I am no longer
an illusion.

2079
01:35:13,079 --> 01:35:15,281
They know who I am.

2080
01:35:15,315 --> 01:35:19,052
I never cheated on any wife,
and I am sorry to say‐‐

2081
01:35:19,085 --> 01:35:22,856
I really I'm sorry I didn't,

2082
01:35:22,889 --> 01:35:25,526
because they were all
cheating on me.

2083
01:35:25,559 --> 01:35:28,862
I passed up some opportunities
that I still kick myself

2084
01:35:28,895 --> 01:35:31,497
in the ass to this day
I passed it up.

2085
01:35:31,532 --> 01:35:33,867
I shouldn't have done it.

2086
01:35:33,900 --> 01:35:37,303
But what do‐‐ you know‐‐

2087
01:35:37,337 --> 01:35:40,306
I've got great memories
from back then, you know.

2088
01:35:40,340 --> 01:35:43,409
I may have been drinking
and drugging and stuff

2089
01:35:43,443 --> 01:35:45,478
and I've got some really bad
memories from them,

2090
01:35:45,512 --> 01:35:47,380
but I've got
really good memories,

2091
01:35:47,413 --> 01:35:48,982
and they were good friends.

2092
01:35:49,583 --> 01:35:51,885
You know, we had our backs
no matter what

2093
01:35:51,918 --> 01:35:54,354
and that's‐‐
that's good memories.

2094
01:35:54,387 --> 01:35:56,857
[country music plays]

2095
01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:16,577
[Luke]
My parents were coming out.

2096
01:36:16,610 --> 01:36:19,946
They had a flight out
on Sunday morning, I think.

2097
01:36:19,980 --> 01:36:21,948
I said, "Hey y'all.

2098
01:36:21,982 --> 01:36:25,218
Eric's playing Saturday night
while you're here."

2099
01:36:25,251 --> 01:36:28,121
Mom was like,
"Oh, we're flying out early."

2100
01:36:28,154 --> 01:36:29,455
"No big deal,

2101
01:36:29,489 --> 01:36:31,825
just 25,000 people

2102
01:36:31,858 --> 01:36:33,860
singing a song that I wrote.

2103
01:36:35,962 --> 01:36:39,833
You know, you guys probably
need to get to your flight."

2104
01:36:39,866 --> 01:36:42,936
And Danny texted back, he goes,

2105
01:36:42,969 --> 01:36:45,371
"I'll go. I wanna go.
I wanna go."

2106
01:36:45,405 --> 01:36:47,874
And so when they started
playing "Kill a Word,"

2107
01:36:47,908 --> 01:36:50,210
one of my songs,
you know, the crowd was singing

2108
01:36:50,243 --> 01:36:52,546
and holding up their phones
like lighters and stuff

2109
01:36:52,579 --> 01:36:57,217
and I looked and this tears
coming down his face,

2110
01:36:57,250 --> 01:37:01,254
you know, he's so proud.

2111
01:37:01,287 --> 01:37:03,323
I don't know, you know,
you feel good, you know,

2112
01:37:03,356 --> 01:37:07,594
to be able to have
your parents be proud of you

2113
01:37:07,628 --> 01:37:11,231
and see you
through all that shit, you know,

2114
01:37:11,898 --> 01:37:14,568
um, see through
being a dumb kid,

2115
01:37:14,601 --> 01:37:18,338
see through a million failures,

2116
01:37:18,371 --> 01:37:22,909
see through having kids
help you raise your kids,

2117
01:37:22,943 --> 01:37:26,647
and then to actually be able
to have, you know,

2118
01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:29,315
just a little lick of success
in the world

2119
01:37:29,349 --> 01:37:32,152
and not fuck up too bad,
you know.

2120
01:37:33,353 --> 01:37:38,391
It was really,
you know, special.

2121
01:37:41,261 --> 01:37:43,296
[Kim] It was crazy back then.

2122
01:37:43,329 --> 01:37:46,199
Am I sorry for it?

2123
01:37:46,232 --> 01:37:49,202
Not especially, you know.

2124
01:37:49,235 --> 01:37:51,437
Do I want it blasted all over?

2125
01:37:51,471 --> 01:37:54,074
Not especially.

2126
01:37:54,107 --> 01:37:55,441
You know, accept it.

2127
01:37:56,142 --> 01:38:00,246
I led‐‐ I've led a full life.

2128
01:38:01,548 --> 01:38:03,449
[Luke] You wouldn't take
any of that back, would you?

2129
01:38:03,483 --> 01:38:06,252
I‐‐ I don't‐‐
I don't think I would.

2130
01:38:07,521 --> 01:38:08,955
[Luke] I don't know, I just‐‐

2131
01:38:08,989 --> 01:38:10,223
I see my mom now

2132
01:38:10,256 --> 01:38:12,492
and see the life that she has,

2133
01:38:12,526 --> 01:38:16,530
which is a simple,
beautiful life with her husband,

2134
01:38:16,563 --> 01:38:19,132
where they're watering plants

2135
01:38:19,165 --> 01:38:21,668
and getting in bed
by nine o'clock

2136
01:38:21,702 --> 01:38:24,504
and having their coffee
in the morning

2137
01:38:24,538 --> 01:38:26,507
and just enjoying life together.

2138
01:38:26,540 --> 01:38:32,713
And it's hard to have any hard
feelings over that, you know.

2139
01:38:32,746 --> 01:38:35,281
Dad Charlie
did a stint in prison,

2140
01:38:36,349 --> 01:38:38,519
then he got out
and got a master's

2141
01:38:38,552 --> 01:38:42,956
and now he's
a drug and alcohol counselor.

2142
01:38:42,989 --> 01:38:47,227
Dad Randy has a good woman now,
and they are out on the farm

2143
01:38:47,260 --> 01:38:52,132
taking motorcycles to Sturgis,
you know, every year at 70.

2144
01:38:52,165 --> 01:38:54,067
Um...

2145
01:38:54,100 --> 01:38:55,468
That's not so bad, you know.

2146
01:38:56,570 --> 01:38:59,339
This just seems like
a long rocky road to happiness,

2147
01:38:59,372 --> 01:39:04,444
you know, started when‐‐ where
they started and it's okay.

2148
01:39:07,013 --> 01:39:10,250
Life's long,
you got to do something with it.

2149
01:39:15,188 --> 01:39:17,991
[Kim] I'll tell you
what I miss the most,

2150
01:39:18,024 --> 01:39:21,427
are those times
that we went around the lake

2151
01:39:21,461 --> 01:39:24,998
in a broke down old fucking
vehicle no matter,

2152
01:39:25,031 --> 01:39:27,033
and there were many of them,

2153
01:39:27,668 --> 01:39:32,005
and laughed and‐‐

2154
01:39:33,574 --> 01:39:37,243
And that we all
truly loved each other.

2155
01:39:37,277 --> 01:39:39,513
We truly,
truly loved each other.

2156
01:39:39,546 --> 01:39:41,281
No matter what we did.

2157
01:39:42,716 --> 01:39:46,152
You‐‐ it was like a fa‐‐

2158
01:39:46,186 --> 01:39:48,488
It was like a family.

2159
01:39:48,522 --> 01:39:51,491
And I know that that sounds
crazy to most people.

2160
01:39:51,525 --> 01:39:53,093
They would probably say,

2161
01:39:53,126 --> 01:39:56,296
"How in the hell
could people like that,

2162
01:39:56,329 --> 01:40:01,167
that work at a place like that
ever be that close?"

2163
01:40:01,201 --> 01:40:02,803
But I'm telling you what,

2164
01:40:02,836 --> 01:40:05,505
there were many, many times

2165
01:40:05,539 --> 01:40:09,042
that we‐‐ we had no one else.

2166
01:40:09,075 --> 01:40:12,779
And it was quite lovely

2167
01:40:12,813 --> 01:40:14,781
and it was quite a ride,

2168
01:40:14,815 --> 01:40:18,151
and I'm glad
I fucking took the ride.

2169
01:40:26,627 --> 01:40:28,161
[sniffles]

2170
01:40:28,194 --> 01:40:30,463
I'm glad I took
the fucking ride.

2171
01:40:30,496 --> 01:40:34,768
[wind chimes tinkling]

2172
01:40:34,801 --> 01:40:38,639
[country music playing]