1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:00:16,489 --> 00:00:17,657
Put it this way,
some of these

4
00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:19,492
I do not want
to be seen by other people.

5
00:00:19,526 --> 00:00:21,394
‐[WOMAN LAUGHS]
‐Um... [CHUCKLES]

6
00:00:21,428 --> 00:00:23,730
You didn't get those, did you?
Those last ones?

7
00:00:23,763 --> 00:00:24,932
I'm serious.
You got some of those,

8
00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:27,167
‐I'm gonna kill you.
‐[WOMAN LAUGHING]

9
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,737
Some of these are really
too smutty for you, Vester.

10
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:35,142
Look at, um, yeah.
See, seriously.

11
00:00:35,175 --> 00:00:37,144
[LAUGHS] This is embarrassing.

12
00:00:37,177 --> 00:00:39,579
‐WOMAN: Why is it embarrassing?
‐I read smut.

13
00:00:39,612 --> 00:00:41,481
It's my guilty pleasure.
I don't drink. I don't smoke.

14
00:00:41,514 --> 00:00:43,216
I don't use drugs.
I read smut.

15
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,156
AIMEE GARCIA: [NARRATING]
M. J. grasped her wrist

16
00:00:49,189 --> 00:00:50,590
and pinned them above her head,

17
00:00:50,623 --> 00:00:51,959
pushing her hard
against the wall

18
00:00:51,992 --> 00:00:53,760
before she could finish
her thought.

19
00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:56,863
His lips claimed hers
in a hard, possessive kiss.

20
00:00:56,896 --> 00:00:58,031
ALLISON TOLMAN: [NARRATING]
He kissed my neck

21
00:00:58,065 --> 00:00:59,832
while running his hands
down my thigh.

22
00:00:59,866 --> 00:01:02,602
‐[SIGHS]
‐His breath
drew in deeply.

23
00:01:02,635 --> 00:01:04,804
Then out in a whisper
across my skin.

24
00:01:04,837 --> 00:01:07,640
AISHA TYLER: [NARRATING]
His eyes are on fire
and he's panting.

25
00:01:07,674 --> 00:01:09,476
You need to understand, Megan.

26
00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:11,811
Once I make love to you,
you're mine.

27
00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:13,013
TOLMAN: [NARRATING]
His lips opened hers

28
00:01:13,046 --> 00:01:14,514
and their tongues tangled.

29
00:01:14,547 --> 00:01:16,516
His fierce and urgent.

30
00:01:16,549 --> 00:01:19,619
She shut her eyes against
the blinding yellow red
of the setting sun

31
00:01:19,652 --> 00:01:21,321
streaking the sky behind him.

32
00:01:21,354 --> 00:01:23,890
GARCIA: [NARRATING]
A small gasp
escaped my lips

33
00:01:23,924 --> 00:01:27,160
as his warm hand palmed
my breast through soft fabric.

34
00:01:27,194 --> 00:01:28,895
TOLMAN: [NARRATING]
His fingers
never stopped caressing

35
00:01:28,929 --> 00:01:30,297
and rubbing her inside,

36
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,532
‐and she felt herself coming.
‐[WOMAN MOANS]

37
00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:34,334
GARCIA: [NARRATING]
Every glance at her
triggered the memory

38
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,169
of her quivering beneath him.

39
00:01:36,203 --> 00:01:39,072
TYLER: [NARRATING]
He moves up behind me
with a blue Tiffany box.

40
00:01:39,106 --> 00:01:40,607
"I will give you the moon."

41
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,575
TOLMAN: [NARRATING]
She'd remember this moment
for the rest of her life.

42
00:01:42,609 --> 00:01:44,477
She'd think of this night,
and feel these feelings

43
00:01:44,511 --> 00:01:46,413
that are much stronger
than she'd ever have.

44
00:01:46,446 --> 00:01:47,680
TYLER: [NARRATING]
He opens the box

45
00:01:47,714 --> 00:01:49,917
and cradled in the velvet
is diamond...

46
00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:54,721
‐TOLMAN: [NARRATING] She wanted
his affection, needed it...
‐[VOICE FADES]

47
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:06,599
The book and the phenomenon
that everybody's talking about.

48
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:10,670
Fifty Shades Of Grey or
as one happy husband called it,

49
00:02:10,703 --> 00:02:13,773
"Fifty shades of yay."

50
00:02:13,806 --> 00:02:16,443
ALTER: It was
an unbelievable blockbuster.

51
00:02:16,476 --> 00:02:20,380
I went on to sell more than
100 million copies worldwide.

52
00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:22,849
I think when
Fifty Shades came out,

53
00:02:22,882 --> 00:02:24,617
it really demonstrated

54
00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:27,454
this immense appetite
for erotic fiction that I think

55
00:02:27,487 --> 00:02:29,422
traditional publishers maybe
weren't aware of.

56
00:02:29,456 --> 00:02:31,391
And self‐published authors
were in a position

57
00:02:31,424 --> 00:02:33,893
to immediately emulate that.

58
00:02:33,927 --> 00:02:37,530
Essentially, it's as simple as
uploading your manuscript

59
00:02:37,564 --> 00:02:40,033
from your home computer
to various sites.

60
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:42,202
I mean, Amazon
is the massive one.

61
00:02:42,235 --> 00:02:44,237
Pretty quickly, it can be
formatted and sold,

62
00:02:44,271 --> 00:02:45,472
and you set the price.

63
00:02:45,505 --> 00:02:47,374
Suddenly you saw
just an explosion

64
00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:48,775
of that type of fiction.

65
00:02:48,808 --> 00:02:52,445
Previously, self‐published books
other than one or two

66
00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:54,915
really didn't sell
that many copies.

67
00:02:54,948 --> 00:02:57,817
These women, who were
all of a sudden

68
00:02:57,850 --> 00:03:00,453
finding the Internet
to publish on,

69
00:03:00,487 --> 00:03:04,157
just decided they were
going to do it that way

70
00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:07,094
and sell their books
that way directly.

71
00:03:07,127 --> 00:03:09,162
And then everything exploded.

72
00:03:11,764 --> 00:03:14,434
REBECCA: A lot of people
were really, had no money

73
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,503
prior to self‐publishing,

74
00:03:16,536 --> 00:03:19,339
and, you know, it was hard
to make ends meet,

75
00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:21,341
hard to feed their kids,
all of that.

76
00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:23,610
So I really love this movement

77
00:03:23,643 --> 00:03:25,745
because I think it's made
a huge difference financially

78
00:03:25,778 --> 00:03:27,347
in tons of people's lives.

79
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:31,784
They were making
seven figures left and right.

80
00:03:31,818 --> 00:03:33,353
I don't know
if everybody realizes

81
00:03:33,386 --> 00:03:35,455
the amount of success
that I had.

82
00:03:35,488 --> 00:03:36,523
And I like that.

83
00:03:36,556 --> 00:03:38,926
I like to be the...

84
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:40,994
You know, the millionaire
that nobody knows
is really a millionaire.

85
00:03:41,028 --> 00:03:43,630
My husband stayed up,
checking our bank,

86
00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:45,465
and he's like,
(GASPS) "Holy crap,

87
00:03:45,498 --> 00:03:47,334
"It just hit.
It's real.

88
00:03:47,367 --> 00:03:49,102
"It's real.
You really made this."

89
00:03:49,136 --> 00:03:51,304
I went to an event
called Rock on the Range,

90
00:03:51,338 --> 00:03:53,440
and I was like "Man,
there is 100,000 people."

91
00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:56,809
It's hard to fathom
that this times two

92
00:03:56,843 --> 00:03:57,978
has read my books.

93
00:04:01,881 --> 00:04:05,018
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

94
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:26,173
[WOMEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

95
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,576
KRISTEN: I loved your books.

96
00:04:29,609 --> 00:04:31,178
‐Thank you.
‐WOMAN 1: They are amazing.

97
00:04:31,211 --> 00:04:33,580
‐I'm glad you liked them.
‐[INDISTINCT]

98
00:04:33,613 --> 00:04:36,049
‐Can you sign this?
‐I would love to.

99
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:38,518
I'm known as the girl
that writes the dirty books.

100
00:04:40,787 --> 00:04:42,422
I guess that in some ways

101
00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:45,558
it is kind of taboo
what I write.

102
00:04:45,592 --> 00:04:48,561
But they just found out
that I've sold a million books.

103
00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,532
This is the fantastic
fucking CJ Roberts.

104
00:04:52,565 --> 00:04:53,833
‐[MAN LAUGHING]
‐If you don't know who she is,

105
00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:55,668
then you really need
to pick up her books.

106
00:04:55,702 --> 00:04:57,604
CJ: My whole life
I've just been afraid

107
00:04:57,637 --> 00:05:00,340
that people are not going
to accept me.

108
00:05:00,373 --> 00:05:03,343
And it's because
I wasn't accepting of myself.

109
00:05:03,376 --> 00:05:05,245
And I grew up Catholic,

110
00:05:05,278 --> 00:05:06,679
and Hispanic and then

111
00:05:06,713 --> 00:05:08,181
the culture is
very patriarchal.

112
00:05:08,215 --> 00:05:12,419
Like sexuality for a woman
is very, like, taboo.

113
00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:15,555
Like, "What? Women get
turned on too? [GASPS]

114
00:05:15,588 --> 00:05:16,889
"What will Jesus say?"

115
00:05:16,924 --> 00:05:18,458
So... [LAUGHS]
I'm like, I don't know.

116
00:05:18,491 --> 00:05:19,726
I know six of them.
You can ask.

117
00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:28,035
‐WOMAN 2: Thank you so much.
‐Thank you.

118
00:05:28,068 --> 00:05:29,236
WOMAN 1: Oh, my God,
you are awesome.

119
00:05:29,269 --> 00:05:30,103
I know.

120
00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:35,175
WOMAN: Okay. Okay.

121
00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:37,144
KELLI: I wanna do something,
I do it and I get it done.

122
00:05:37,177 --> 00:05:40,480
I started writing about
five or six years ago

123
00:05:40,513 --> 00:05:41,881
while I was working full‐time.

124
00:05:41,915 --> 00:05:43,583
I started out in
the young adult world

125
00:05:43,616 --> 00:05:45,585
and I'm still in that world,
um, publishing,

126
00:05:45,618 --> 00:05:49,556
but I decided to try
something different last year

127
00:05:49,589 --> 00:05:52,625
and write, um,
an adult erotic romance.

128
00:05:52,659 --> 00:05:54,227
And, you know, you look
through the paper,

129
00:05:54,261 --> 00:05:55,795
you look online, you hear,
you know,

130
00:05:55,828 --> 00:05:57,597
it's all these self‐publishers
are getting all these big deals.

131
00:05:57,630 --> 00:06:01,101
And it's like, "Oh."
That's kind of where I said,

132
00:06:01,134 --> 00:06:03,236
"Well, you know,
this is going on.

133
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:04,437
"I don't want to miss this."

134
00:06:04,471 --> 00:06:05,605
WOMAN 1: All right.

135
00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:10,177
‐ALL: Whoa.
‐WOMAN 2: Oh, yeah, sugar.

136
00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:12,512
Set them up in your lane.

137
00:06:12,545 --> 00:06:14,514
‐Each one?
‐Yes.

138
00:06:14,547 --> 00:06:15,949
[INDISTINCT]

139
00:06:15,983 --> 00:06:18,986
‐WOMAN: Oh, it's coming in.
All right.
‐[CHEERING]

140
00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:20,353
Ready? Go.

141
00:06:20,387 --> 00:06:22,555
[WOMEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
AND HOOTING]

142
00:06:25,025 --> 00:06:27,660
WOMAN 1: They just like,
take you on a whirlwind,
you know.

143
00:06:27,694 --> 00:06:30,163
And you're staying up
forever to read.

144
00:06:30,197 --> 00:06:32,665
I'd rather be reading smut
than doing housework.

145
00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:34,701
I'd rather be reading smut
than work full‐time.

146
00:06:34,734 --> 00:06:39,872
I went from reading
about two to three books
a year, and since July 2012

147
00:06:39,906 --> 00:06:43,110
till July 2013,
I have read 88 books.

148
00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:47,647
I would never be standing here
in front of you
two years ago and say,

149
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,016
"Hey, I think I want
to handcuff my husband

150
00:06:49,049 --> 00:06:50,617
"and bang the shit out of him."

151
00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:52,552
I mean, you would never
hear that before

152
00:06:52,585 --> 00:06:54,221
as to where now, it's okay.

153
00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:56,289
What good girl
doesn't want a bad man?

154
00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:58,625
I mean, what good girl you know
don't want a bad man.

155
00:06:58,658 --> 00:07:01,728
We want the strong man
who has a soft heart.

156
00:07:01,761 --> 00:07:03,196
You know, we want
the caveman,

157
00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,831
who would throw us over
his shoulder and just take us

158
00:07:04,864 --> 00:07:06,899
and just have his way with us.
That's what we want.

159
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:22,149
Romance is not new.
The romance genre isn't new.

160
00:07:22,182 --> 00:07:25,018
We're not all of the sudden
having this great like,

161
00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:27,487
"Oh, we just found
the romance genre."

162
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,023
I think what
you're seeing right now,

163
00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:33,160
is not that the genre
is becoming new.

164
00:07:33,193 --> 00:07:37,030
It's that the community
is bridging together

165
00:07:37,064 --> 00:07:39,332
and really embracing
each other in a way

166
00:07:39,366 --> 00:07:41,568
that empowers them even more

167
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:44,504
and says, "Oh,
my story is okay to tell.

168
00:07:44,537 --> 00:07:46,673
"Then how about this one?"

169
00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:50,543
It's weird fads
the way the culture works

170
00:07:50,577 --> 00:07:51,945
and it will be...

171
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:54,915
it's gonna be interesting
to see how it all plays out.

172
00:07:54,948 --> 00:07:56,249
Awesome. Oh, my gosh.

173
00:07:57,084 --> 00:07:58,618
It was like...

174
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:00,853
I kept telling Emily
and Michelle, I'm like,

175
00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:02,422
you guys, believe this, like,

176
00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:04,291
after all these years,
we did this.

177
00:08:04,324 --> 00:08:06,059
It's like, oh, my God. So...

178
00:08:06,893 --> 00:08:08,228
[WOMAN LAUGHING]

179
00:08:09,429 --> 00:08:11,864
♪ This ain't no prohibition

180
00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:13,934
♪ Runnin' out of ammunition

181
00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:17,570
♪ Get a girl, get a girl,
get a girl a drink

182
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,640
♪ Whoa‐oh‐oh, can't think
when my glass is empty

183
00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:22,943
♪ Good times roll on quick
I know, babe

184
00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:25,645
♪ Get a girl, get a girl,
get a girl a drink

185
00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:29,382
♪ We stumbled through the door

186
00:08:29,416 --> 00:08:31,751
♪ Hands all over up
against the wall

187
00:08:31,784 --> 00:08:34,221
♪ The girls hit the floor

188
00:08:34,254 --> 00:08:36,089
♪ You talk naughty,
but I need some more

189
00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:38,591
♪ 'Cause my thirst won't quench

190
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,793
♪ Pump the brakes
so we can hit the fridge

191
00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:42,729
♪ For ol' Johnny Black

192
00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,164
♪ And then the three of us... ♪

193
00:08:44,197 --> 00:08:45,598
WOMAN 1: What are you
getting today?

194
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,601
WOMAN 1: Musical notes.

195
00:08:51,438 --> 00:08:52,405
Nice.

196
00:08:52,439 --> 00:08:54,474
[KRISTEN SPEAKING]

197
00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:57,177
[WHIRRING]

198
00:09:00,047 --> 00:09:03,050
[KELLI SPEAKING]

199
00:09:07,988 --> 00:09:10,090
WOMAN 2:
Congratulations on that.
That's amazing.

200
00:09:10,123 --> 00:09:11,158
Thank you.

201
00:09:16,396 --> 00:09:18,865
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

202
00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:37,150
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

203
00:09:39,386 --> 00:09:40,988
[GIRL LAUGHING]

204
00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:42,722
‐Here.
‐GIRL 1: Thank you, Mama.

205
00:09:48,895 --> 00:09:50,030
Can you see CJ right there?

206
00:09:51,231 --> 00:09:53,166
Must have been,
what, 14, maybe.

207
00:09:56,937 --> 00:10:00,807
This is CJ's father
and brother, Scott.

208
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,711
And this is one of the few
last pictures they had together

209
00:10:04,744 --> 00:10:06,146
before he passed on.

210
00:10:06,179 --> 00:10:07,547
CJ: I grew up
in North Hollywood.

211
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:09,149
I'm the eldest of seven kids.

212
00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:11,351
I have four brothers
and two sisters,

213
00:10:11,384 --> 00:10:13,553
and I was raised
by a single mom.

214
00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:15,055
At one point we were
like, 13 people

215
00:10:15,088 --> 00:10:16,589
in a two bedroom apartment.

216
00:10:16,623 --> 00:10:19,359
Like college wasn't a thing
that we could afford.

217
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,494
And, um...

218
00:10:21,528 --> 00:10:23,496
I knew that if I just stuck
around the neighborhood,

219
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:25,332
I was gonna end up
hooking up with some guy

220
00:10:25,365 --> 00:10:27,700
who was gonna, like,
make me pregnant,

221
00:10:27,734 --> 00:10:29,402
and just suck
the life out of me.

222
00:10:29,436 --> 00:10:31,071
I was like, I'm gonna
join the military,

223
00:10:31,104 --> 00:10:33,673
and I'm gonna go and go
to college and see the world.

224
00:10:33,706 --> 00:10:35,175
And the first time I rode
on an airplane

225
00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:36,443
was on my way
to basic training.

226
00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:37,877
I'm sure it made
some people nervous.

227
00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:38,946
I was like, "We're gonna die."

228
00:10:38,979 --> 00:10:40,580
INTERVIEWER: You were
on your way to basic training

229
00:10:40,613 --> 00:10:41,748
for the Air Force?

230
00:10:41,781 --> 00:10:43,683
Yeah. Yep.

231
00:10:43,716 --> 00:10:45,052
CJ: For the Air Force. I know.

232
00:10:45,085 --> 00:10:47,554
And I was scared
to be on the plane. [LAUGHS]

233
00:10:47,587 --> 00:10:49,923
But I constantly do things
that terrify me.

234
00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:51,791
And then in 2008,

235
00:10:52,892 --> 00:10:55,462
I got out of the military

236
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,230
and I had my college degree.

237
00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:59,032
I graduated with a 4.0,

238
00:10:59,066 --> 00:11:01,401
and, like, I was like,
I'm gonna go out there,
I'm gonna get a job.

239
00:11:01,434 --> 00:11:02,635
It's gonna be amazing.

240
00:11:02,669 --> 00:11:05,638
And I couldn't get a job
answering phones.

241
00:11:05,672 --> 00:11:08,275
I always wrote a lot.
I always kept a journal.

242
00:11:08,308 --> 00:11:10,911
I always told little stories
about things.

243
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:13,646
I just like to write for me
and I was exploring things.

244
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,116
I was exploring my sexuality,

245
00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:21,621
my sensuality, my relationship
with my mother and my history.

246
00:11:21,654 --> 00:11:22,722
And people always ask me like,

247
00:11:22,755 --> 00:11:24,557
which character
you identify with.

248
00:11:24,591 --> 00:11:27,627
And I really identify with
both of my characters equally.

249
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:31,098
For me, Livi is side of me
that is more vulnerable,

250
00:11:31,131 --> 00:11:33,967
softer, more curious.

251
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:38,505
And Caleb, I feel, is my more,
like, I'm on top of my stuff

252
00:11:38,538 --> 00:11:40,807
because within me
there is that person,

253
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,310
the goal setter,
the person who's like

254
00:11:43,343 --> 00:11:45,745
this will be mine
by any means necessary.

255
00:11:45,778 --> 00:11:48,848
So I explored that
through my male character,

256
00:11:48,881 --> 00:11:51,018
who was not afraid
of his sexuality,

257
00:11:51,051 --> 00:11:55,322
who was not embarrassed,
um, by what he wanted

258
00:11:55,355 --> 00:11:57,257
or his body or his goals.

259
00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:58,825
Then my husband was like,

260
00:11:58,858 --> 00:12:01,661
"Why don't you publish
this story?"

261
00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:03,964
And I was like, "You're stupid."

262
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:07,034
Um, [LAUGHS] I was like,
who wants to read this crap?

263
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:09,136
First of all, if they read it,
they'll be like,

264
00:12:09,169 --> 00:12:12,172
"You're the weirdest person
that I've ever encountered."

265
00:12:12,205 --> 00:12:13,440
So I researched that
whole process,

266
00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:16,009
and I did my query letters
and I sent it out,

267
00:12:16,043 --> 00:12:21,181
and very promptly received like
25 to 30 rejection letters.

268
00:12:21,214 --> 00:12:23,383
And he was like,
"It... it's good."

269
00:12:23,416 --> 00:12:25,852
He's like, "It's good,
you should, you should
put it out there."

270
00:12:25,885 --> 00:12:28,488
So as a last resort,

271
00:12:28,521 --> 00:12:32,825
because at that point it was
considered vanity publishing
to be an independent.

272
00:12:32,859 --> 00:12:35,328
And vanity publishing
was like, if you have to pay

273
00:12:35,362 --> 00:12:36,863
for people to read your work,

274
00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,065
then you're not a real writer.

275
00:12:39,232 --> 00:12:40,968
And I put it out there

276
00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:45,305
and my book ended up
being on that short list

277
00:12:45,338 --> 00:12:49,342
of books to read
after you'd read
Fifty Shades of Grey.

278
00:12:49,376 --> 00:12:51,044
The one thing I did always
warn people about

279
00:12:51,078 --> 00:12:52,579
when they were getting ready
to read my stuff,

280
00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:53,880
I was like, if you read
Fifty Shades

281
00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:57,150
and you thought Christian Grey
was taking it too far,

282
00:12:57,184 --> 00:13:00,187
I'm not for you. [LAUGHS]

283
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:02,289
You know, like
if you were like, "Christian!"

284
00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:03,890
Like, no.

285
00:13:03,924 --> 00:13:05,425
You should not touch my stuff.

286
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:17,404
I think I started telling people
I was going to publish

287
00:13:17,437 --> 00:13:20,540
maybe a month
before I actually did,

288
00:13:21,074 --> 00:13:23,010
and...

289
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:25,045
it was so funny because
I would say to someone,

290
00:13:25,078 --> 00:13:26,646
"I'm gonna publish a book"
and they would say,

291
00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:28,381
[GASPS] "Who's publishing
your book?"

292
00:13:28,415 --> 00:13:31,251
And I said, Well, I'm publishing
my book and then it's like,

293
00:13:31,284 --> 00:13:33,086
"Oh, like you poor thing,

294
00:13:34,121 --> 00:13:36,223
"you are self‐publishing."

295
00:13:36,256 --> 00:13:38,125
Um, that means
nobody else will buy it.

296
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,361
Before I published,

297
00:13:41,394 --> 00:13:45,065
um, I lived a very simple,
middle‐class life.

298
00:13:45,098 --> 00:13:47,567
You know, I worked
in a 40‐hour week job.

299
00:13:48,936 --> 00:13:50,470
Um, paycheck to paycheck.

300
00:13:52,305 --> 00:13:55,075
I started reading
my Mom's Harlequins

301
00:13:55,108 --> 00:13:56,609
when I was in high school.

302
00:13:57,978 --> 00:14:01,982
My first novel,
I wrote when I was 22,

303
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:05,818
and joined Romance Writers
of America and got involved.

304
00:14:05,852 --> 00:14:10,057
I started querying
agents and publishers

305
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:12,159
and nothing came of it.
And then, you know,

306
00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:14,094
got married and life takes over.

307
00:14:15,262 --> 00:14:17,430
I have a cousin
who writes horror,

308
00:14:18,165 --> 00:14:20,100
and in early 2012,

309
00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:23,670
he had talked on social media
about self‐publishing.

310
00:14:23,703 --> 00:14:25,405
And he just explained it to me.

311
00:14:25,438 --> 00:14:28,108
And I said, well, writing
and publishing a book

312
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:30,810
has just been something
on my bucket list.

313
00:14:30,843 --> 00:14:32,245
If I can just
publish this book,

314
00:14:32,279 --> 00:14:33,981
I can just mark that
off my list

315
00:14:34,014 --> 00:14:35,315
and say, I did that.

316
00:14:35,348 --> 00:14:36,816
I published a book.

317
00:14:36,849 --> 00:14:39,419
I figured, if 100 people
buy the book, I'll be happy.

318
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:43,456
Honestly, it sold
about 1200 copies
in the first weekend.

319
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:46,927
Roughly seven months later,
I had a deal with Pocket books

320
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,761
through Simon & Schuster.

321
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:51,431
That was my validation,
that said...

322
00:14:51,464 --> 00:14:52,832
This is what
you should be doing.

323
00:14:52,865 --> 00:14:54,501
Not living paycheck
to paycheck anymore.

324
00:14:54,534 --> 00:14:56,303
[LAUGHS] And, um...

325
00:14:56,336 --> 00:14:59,639
I quit my hospital job
in January of this year.

326
00:15:01,308 --> 00:15:02,509
JAMIE: Come on.

327
00:15:03,576 --> 00:15:05,012
[WHIMPERING]

328
00:15:05,045 --> 00:15:06,213
JAMIE: Come on.

329
00:15:10,183 --> 00:15:11,051
Come on.

330
00:15:14,922 --> 00:15:18,658
I write young adult books under
Jamie Blair, my real name.

331
00:15:18,691 --> 00:15:20,660
And then under
a pen name, Kelli Maine,

332
00:15:20,693 --> 00:15:23,196
I write erotic romance books.

333
00:15:25,165 --> 00:15:27,900
In my personal life, I'm not
a romantic, I'm a realist.

334
00:15:27,935 --> 00:15:30,337
You know, I don't expect cards
and flowers and stuff.

335
00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:32,505
If I, if I get them,
well, it's nice.

336
00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:35,142
You know, but the flowers
are gonna die,

337
00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:36,376
and I'm gonna throw
the card away.

338
00:15:42,282 --> 00:15:44,384
I was a command center
strategist

339
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:46,419
for a telemarketing company.

340
00:15:46,453 --> 00:15:48,888
So I got up and went to work
and my kids went to school

341
00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:51,858
or, you know, to camp
during summer and...

342
00:15:51,891 --> 00:15:54,027
you know, day camp
and my husband to his job,

343
00:15:54,061 --> 00:15:55,428
and I came home and...

344
00:15:57,097 --> 00:15:58,098
Did it again the next day.

345
00:15:59,099 --> 00:16:01,034
A lot of times, you know,

346
00:16:01,068 --> 00:16:03,603
a lot of other authors,
I've read interviews
and stuff with them and...

347
00:16:03,636 --> 00:16:06,273
"I always wanted to be an author
ever since I was a little kid."

348
00:16:06,306 --> 00:16:07,774
I never thought of it.

349
00:16:07,807 --> 00:16:10,077
I don't know,
I just kind of started,

350
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,844
you know, I'll go ahead
and say this

351
00:16:11,878 --> 00:16:14,247
because it's kinda embarrassing,
but... [CHUCKLES]

352
00:16:14,281 --> 00:16:16,216
After I read Twilight,
I'm like,

353
00:16:16,249 --> 00:16:19,953
"Well, if she can do it,
[LAUGHS] I'm gonna try it."

354
00:16:22,322 --> 00:16:24,757
My young adult deal
kept getting pushed back.

355
00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:26,559
I'm trying to start
a career,

356
00:16:26,593 --> 00:16:29,930
but because, contractually,
I can't publish under my name

357
00:16:29,963 --> 00:16:32,065
until six months after
my book comes out

358
00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:33,400
and it keeps getting
pushed back.

359
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:35,902
I am, you know, well...

360
00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,204
How am I supposed to do this?

361
00:16:37,237 --> 00:16:40,240
I decided to try something
different last year

362
00:16:40,273 --> 00:16:43,410
and write, um,
an adult erotic romance

363
00:16:43,443 --> 00:16:45,312
just for fun to see
what would happen

364
00:16:45,345 --> 00:16:48,381
for something different
that I had
complete control over

365
00:16:48,415 --> 00:16:49,649
because I self‐published it

366
00:16:49,682 --> 00:16:51,318
instead of going
the traditional route

367
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:53,954
through an agent, an editor
and a publishing house.

368
00:16:53,987 --> 00:16:56,423
I made a pen name.
I made a blog.

369
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:59,392
I put the cover on good reads.

370
00:16:59,426 --> 00:17:02,129
And it just kind of took off.

371
00:17:02,162 --> 00:17:03,363
I don't know how,
I don't...

372
00:17:04,998 --> 00:17:07,834
It was funny 'cause
I had a coworker at the time

373
00:17:07,867 --> 00:17:09,102
and he kept looking

374
00:17:09,136 --> 00:17:10,503
and, you know,
he'd look on their stuff,

375
00:17:10,537 --> 00:17:12,940
and I think maybe
he brought it to my attention.

376
00:17:12,973 --> 00:17:14,607
He was like,
it's number one on there.

377
00:17:14,641 --> 00:17:17,010
I'm like, "Are you kidding me?"
and he's like, "No, look, look."

378
00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:19,079
And I'm like, "Oh, my God."

379
00:17:19,112 --> 00:17:22,149
'Cause it was me and then
all three of E. L. James books.

380
00:17:22,182 --> 00:17:23,951
I'm like, "No.
This cannot be happening."

381
00:17:23,984 --> 00:17:26,686
‐[LAUGHS]
‐Something's really wrong.

382
00:17:28,488 --> 00:17:29,489
GLORYA: Bend over.

383
00:17:30,557 --> 00:17:32,792
[WOMEN LAUGHING]

384
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:36,529
‐[CHUCKLES] That was good.
‐WOMAN 1: Oh.

385
00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:37,664
[WOMEN LAUGHING]

386
00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:40,200
Oh, my God.
It was a good one.

387
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,435
‐GLORYA: You want one too?
‐WOMAN 2: No, I'm good.

388
00:17:42,469 --> 00:17:44,304
‐GLORYA: Really?
It doesn't hurt.
‐No, thanks.

389
00:17:44,337 --> 00:17:45,672
‐GLORYA: Another one?
‐I'll take another.

390
00:17:46,139 --> 00:17:47,307
[LAUGHS]

391
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:48,942
My name is Glorya Hidalgo.

392
00:17:48,976 --> 00:17:51,644
And I own the
Bookfriends book blog.

393
00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:53,947
Ow. That was a nice sting.

394
00:17:53,981 --> 00:17:55,715
‐Another one?
‐Motherfucker no.

395
00:17:55,748 --> 00:17:57,951
[ALL LAUGHING]

396
00:17:57,985 --> 00:17:59,552
‐I love that series.
‐WOMAN 2: I love it too.

397
00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:00,720
I love that series.

398
00:18:00,753 --> 00:18:03,991
But have you guys
read Aurora Belle's Raw?

399
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:06,026
‐No, not yet. But I know it...
‐Okay.

400
00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:09,062
‐I know it's a...
‐Well, when you do...

401
00:18:09,096 --> 00:18:10,663
I don't know
the unconventionality

402
00:18:10,697 --> 00:18:13,000
I guess, if that's the word...

403
00:18:13,033 --> 00:18:14,901
That's what I love.

404
00:18:14,935 --> 00:18:16,736
But I also love
a nice alpha story.

405
00:18:16,769 --> 00:18:18,171
‐Anytime.
‐Oh, God, yes.

406
00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:20,307
Isn't it every girl's fantasy
that you can break...

407
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,042
‐ALL: Yeah. Yeah.
‐...them and change them.

408
00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:23,410
‐WOMAN 3: I think it...
‐Is it realistic?

409
00:18:23,776 --> 00:18:24,744
ALL: No.

410
00:18:24,777 --> 00:18:26,246
My parents didn't
talk about sex.

411
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,648
My mother never had
that conversation with me.

412
00:18:28,681 --> 00:18:31,584
When I married my husband,
my husband said I was a prude.

413
00:18:31,618 --> 00:18:33,253
So I think now...

414
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,721
I've read so much, I'm like,

415
00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:37,057
"Oh, these women
in the books enjoy it."

416
00:18:37,090 --> 00:18:39,192
‐WOMAN 4: Yeah.
‐These women
are experimenting with that.

417
00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:40,994
That sounds like something
I would like to try.

418
00:18:41,028 --> 00:18:42,996
Before, it would be too taboo.

419
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,932
Like, there's no way
I would even try that.

420
00:18:44,965 --> 00:18:48,068
Now I... after I've read it
I'm like, huh...

421
00:18:48,101 --> 00:18:49,536
I wouldn't mind trying that.

422
00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:51,104
‐I could see that. You know.
‐WOMAN 4: Mmm‐hmm.

423
00:18:51,138 --> 00:18:52,505
You know, friends
that I grew up with,

424
00:18:52,539 --> 00:18:53,873
or went to high school with,

425
00:18:53,906 --> 00:18:56,276
that are just, you know,
blast you on Facebook about,

426
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,779
"How dare you go
and see something
like this or read trash.

427
00:18:59,812 --> 00:19:01,881
"Don't you know
what true literature is?"

428
00:19:01,915 --> 00:19:03,450
And I'm like...

429
00:19:03,483 --> 00:19:05,885
It's definitely not something
I talk with my other friends,

430
00:19:05,919 --> 00:19:07,955
'cause they're like,
"What the hell are you reading?

431
00:19:07,988 --> 00:19:10,757
"Are you reading just porn."
I'm just like, "It's not porn."

432
00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:14,794
You hear the term that it's
like, you know soccer mom,

433
00:19:14,827 --> 00:19:17,364
um, or mommy porn
or whatever that term is?

434
00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:18,798
It's not for me,
about the sex at all.

435
00:19:18,831 --> 00:19:20,633
It's just the emotions

436
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:23,136
that it makes the readers feel
and I think that

437
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:26,106
um, the readers are
also misunderstood

438
00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:27,607
because, yeah,
they like these books.

439
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,377
They like the erotica,
but they also like, you know,

440
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:31,711
the other contemporary romances

441
00:19:31,744 --> 00:19:33,246
that may not even
have sex in them.

442
00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:35,248
So the other genres

443
00:19:35,282 --> 00:19:37,217
that most people
like, only read

444
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:39,819
are mystery, science fiction
and comics.

445
00:19:39,852 --> 00:19:42,255
Those genres are
overwhelmingly read by men.

446
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,424
And the women readers
in those genres

447
00:19:44,457 --> 00:19:45,758
have frequently talked about

448
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,728
the sexism that they face
as readers of a genre

449
00:19:48,761 --> 00:19:51,264
that they are
not supposed to enjoy.

450
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:52,565
Like, whatever that means.

451
00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:55,735
And, sex is not
a big part of most mysteries.

452
00:19:55,768 --> 00:19:57,070
‐I mean...
‐I don't think that's true.

453
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:58,438
Sometimes, but not...

454
00:19:58,471 --> 00:20:01,274
I disagree. I think sex is
a part of every book

455
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,510
‐we are all reading.
‐But not like romance.

456
00:20:03,543 --> 00:20:04,978
Like, I don't know.

457
00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:08,348
I've read some of those books
that Dad claims are like

458
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:10,417
somehow better than our romance.

459
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,419
There is nothing, no.
If there's sex,

460
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:17,424
they're just as twisted,
there's dark themes.

461
00:20:17,457 --> 00:20:20,460
I mean, our father was reading
J. D. Robb for years,

462
00:20:20,493 --> 00:20:22,362
whose other name
is Nora Roberts.

463
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:23,863
He had no idea.

464
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:27,267
I'm very open about, you know,
the fact that,

465
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,170
I'm, you know,
I'm a sexual person,

466
00:20:30,203 --> 00:20:32,205
and reading these types
of books,

467
00:20:32,239 --> 00:20:35,308
yeah, there is
an outlet in there,

468
00:20:35,342 --> 00:20:37,610
and a really good sex scene,
oh, my God, yeah.

469
00:20:37,644 --> 00:20:39,312
Me and my girlfriends
talk about that.

470
00:20:39,346 --> 00:20:42,015
Why even, you know...

471
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:46,019
You know, try to lie about it.
It's, you know, it's porn.

472
00:20:47,087 --> 00:20:48,888
I don't consider
what I write porn.

473
00:20:48,922 --> 00:20:51,291
Um, it is explicit,

474
00:20:51,324 --> 00:20:53,893
but it's part of a story,

475
00:20:53,927 --> 00:20:56,263
and it's different to me.

476
00:20:57,030 --> 00:20:58,598
It's as...

477
00:21:01,068 --> 00:21:04,571
much porn as, as...

478
00:21:04,604 --> 00:21:07,941
you know, looking at artistic
naked pictures, I think.
I think it's...

479
00:21:09,943 --> 00:21:13,246
[SIGHS] But on the other hand,
it is a little porn.

480
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,016
I guess, really, my response is
"And what's wrong with that?"

481
00:21:19,219 --> 00:21:22,055
Straight white guy walks in
off the street.

482
00:21:22,089 --> 00:21:24,925
"You have a whole bookstore
for romance?"

483
00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:27,160
And they always couch
in some sort of, like,
business thing.

484
00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:29,429
Like, does that really seem
viable to you?

485
00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:30,931
It's the second part.

486
00:21:30,964 --> 00:21:33,533
That we don't know
our own business

487
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:36,203
well enough to have done
the research to know

488
00:21:36,236 --> 00:21:39,506
that this would exist
and survive and thrive.

489
00:21:39,539 --> 00:21:46,079
The thing is that most men
cannot conceive of a space
that's not for them.

490
00:21:46,113 --> 00:21:48,281
This is not for you.

491
00:21:48,315 --> 00:21:51,584
DR. TANIA: Yes, they're all
about a man and a woman
getting together,

492
00:21:51,618 --> 00:21:56,356
and falling in love
and presumably living
happily ever after.

493
00:21:56,389 --> 00:22:00,127
But there are undercurrents
of anger and dissatisfaction

494
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,395
that are being expressed
through the novels.

495
00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:04,031
Well, it's certainly fantasy.

496
00:22:04,064 --> 00:22:06,233
I mean, 100%.
The sex is fantastic.

497
00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:08,868
The men are beautiful.
In our everyday lives,

498
00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:11,604
women take care of everybody.

499
00:22:11,638 --> 00:22:16,343
And so to read about
a man that takes
care of his girl is sexy.

500
00:22:21,348 --> 00:22:22,983
TYLER: [NARRATING]
"Open your eyes.

501
00:22:23,016 --> 00:22:25,485
"I gaze up into his perfect
blue eyes,

502
00:22:25,518 --> 00:22:28,121
"gazing at me
with passion and hunger.

503
00:22:28,155 --> 00:22:31,959
"My breath catches
and I run my fingertips
down his cheek.

504
00:22:31,992 --> 00:22:36,596
"'You are so sexy, Natalie.
I just can't seem
to stop touching you.'

505
00:22:36,629 --> 00:22:38,131
"'I love you touching me.'

506
00:22:38,165 --> 00:22:39,967
"'You do?'

507
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,570
"He caresses my face,
pushing errant strands of hair
off my cheek.

508
00:22:43,603 --> 00:22:45,672
"'Yes', I whisper.

509
00:22:45,705 --> 00:22:49,842
"'Your skin is so soft',
he murmurs, his fingers
still on my cheek.

510
00:22:49,876 --> 00:22:51,311
"'I love your curvy body.'

511
00:22:52,179 --> 00:22:53,680
"My eyes widen.

512
00:22:54,881 --> 00:22:56,516
"'Don't frown.'

513
00:22:56,549 --> 00:22:58,185
"He kisses me
between my eyebrows

514
00:22:58,218 --> 00:23:00,387
"as if he's smoothing
the frown from my face.

515
00:23:01,955 --> 00:23:05,025
"'I'm not so sure
about my curvy body.'

516
00:23:05,058 --> 00:23:08,495
"It's a whispered admission
that I have never made before,
and frankly,

517
00:23:08,528 --> 00:23:11,364
"I've never
felt this vulnerable.

518
00:23:11,398 --> 00:23:15,468
"His blue gaze
meets mine again,
and each word is a staccato.

519
00:23:15,502 --> 00:23:18,171
"'You are beautiful.'

520
00:23:19,539 --> 00:23:21,174
"I close my eyes,

521
00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:23,810
"but he tips my chin,
forcing me to
look at him again.

522
00:23:24,511 --> 00:23:25,478
"'Thank you.'

523
00:23:26,479 --> 00:23:27,981
"His lips find mine.

524
00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:30,717
"Gently now, lingering
and pressing my mouth

525
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:33,820
"as if we have all the time
in the world.

526
00:23:33,853 --> 00:23:36,656
"I shift my hips
and grind myself
against his thigh,

527
00:23:36,689 --> 00:23:39,126
"and he groans
low in his throat.

528
00:23:39,159 --> 00:23:41,161
"My blood is on fire.

529
00:23:41,194 --> 00:23:43,696
"I've never wanted a man
like I want Luke.

530
00:23:43,730 --> 00:23:45,365
"I want to consume him.

531
00:23:45,398 --> 00:23:49,669
"I want him fast and hard
and I want him to take all day.

532
00:23:49,702 --> 00:23:51,604
"I love how tender
he is with me."

533
00:23:56,609 --> 00:23:57,911
PHOTOGRAPHER: Nice one.

534
00:23:59,546 --> 00:24:00,580
Oh, perfect hold.

535
00:24:02,215 --> 00:24:03,550
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

536
00:24:04,117 --> 00:24:05,285
And again.

537
00:24:07,387 --> 00:24:08,688
Hold that.

538
00:24:10,290 --> 00:24:13,160
DR. KATIE:
There is some sort of

539
00:24:13,193 --> 00:24:16,363
really retrograde yearning

540
00:24:16,396 --> 00:24:19,499
for this traditional man

541
00:24:19,532 --> 00:24:21,201
who's acting
in a traditional role,

542
00:24:21,234 --> 00:24:24,404
even if we don't want that
in a million ways

543
00:24:24,437 --> 00:24:25,905
in our rational minds.

544
00:24:25,939 --> 00:24:28,608
And I think that that's a sign
of the fact that

545
00:24:28,641 --> 00:24:34,047
we are not entirely comfortable
or inhabiting our own power
with ease.

546
00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:36,416
We still aren't allowed

547
00:24:36,449 --> 00:24:39,953
as women to be fully
sexual creatures.

548
00:24:39,987 --> 00:24:41,888
It's still the bad thing.

549
00:24:41,922 --> 00:24:46,759
It's still the women's
responsibility to be virtuous
more than the man.

550
00:24:46,793 --> 00:24:49,396
And when we have these books

551
00:24:49,429 --> 00:24:52,532
where the male is dominating
the woman into it,

552
00:24:52,565 --> 00:24:54,201
it's like, I didn't
have a choice.

553
00:24:54,234 --> 00:24:55,802
[CHEERING]

554
00:24:55,835 --> 00:24:57,971
He made me feel that way,
but I didn't choose
to feel that way.

555
00:24:58,005 --> 00:25:01,541
I didn't seek it, so it takes
the ownership

556
00:25:01,574 --> 00:25:06,279
of the slutty label that
we're going to get off of us.

557
00:25:06,313 --> 00:25:11,384
And we can enjoy it
without being worried
about that stigma.

558
00:25:11,418 --> 00:25:15,122
We are a society awash
in gender inequality,

559
00:25:15,155 --> 00:25:17,590
racial inequality,
economic inequality,

560
00:25:17,624 --> 00:25:19,927
you name it, every form
of inequality.

561
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,395
And I think, well,
instead of fighting it,

562
00:25:22,429 --> 00:25:24,731
we've kind of sexualized
that inequality,

563
00:25:24,764 --> 00:25:26,799
specifically,
the gender inequality.

564
00:25:26,833 --> 00:25:28,936
And we said, "Well, it's...
this is the best it gets.

565
00:25:28,969 --> 00:25:31,004
"This is it.
So let's make it fun."

566
00:25:33,006 --> 00:25:35,508
We could talk about
why the books are feminists

567
00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:37,477
‐till we're blue in the face.
‐Yeah.

568
00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:39,446
But, they're...

569
00:25:39,479 --> 00:25:43,250
written, produced, marketed
and sold by women for women.

570
00:25:43,283 --> 00:25:45,752
So it's very hard for me
to understand the argument

571
00:25:45,785 --> 00:25:48,956
that they somehow
are not feminist.

572
00:25:58,065 --> 00:25:59,599
Oh, yeah.

573
00:25:59,632 --> 00:26:01,634
WOMAN 1: Readers right now
are ravenous.

574
00:26:01,668 --> 00:26:04,171
They would be thrilled
if I would release
a book a month.

575
00:26:04,204 --> 00:26:06,039
Romance, I think more than
any other genre,

576
00:26:06,073 --> 00:26:09,109
has the highest number of books
consumed and bought

577
00:26:09,142 --> 00:26:10,843
per month, per year.

578
00:26:10,877 --> 00:26:13,146
There's something about
the e‐book that made it

579
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,215
incredibly easy to just
binge read.

580
00:26:15,248 --> 00:26:18,218
You could read
the first book and then
read the next six,

581
00:26:18,251 --> 00:26:20,187
and it's that Amazon
one‐click feature.

582
00:26:20,220 --> 00:26:21,621
You could see it
all over Facebook, you know,

583
00:26:21,654 --> 00:26:23,690
just one click five books.
Just, you know what I mean.

584
00:26:23,723 --> 00:26:27,394
And it's because
they're 99 cents, they're $1.99,
they're $2.99.

585
00:26:27,427 --> 00:26:30,730
Four, five years ago,
it wasn't as easy
just to pick up a book,

586
00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:32,499
get through it really fast.

587
00:26:32,532 --> 00:26:34,834
Um, you had to go to a bookstore
and you know,

588
00:26:34,867 --> 00:26:36,970
I think it's just
the convenience of it.

589
00:26:37,004 --> 00:26:39,739
Like, I read on my phone.
I can download a book
and have it in two seconds,

590
00:26:39,772 --> 00:26:43,643
and it's just made it
a lot more accessible
than sometimes even TV.

591
00:26:43,676 --> 00:26:46,046
I think it's wonderful
that people are able to do this,

592
00:26:46,079 --> 00:26:49,917
and being able to bypass
the publishers to get
their stuff out there.

593
00:26:49,950 --> 00:26:54,721
Um, however, it's having
an effect on, on,
you know, authors.

594
00:26:54,754 --> 00:26:58,325
I've been publishing
every two to four months.

595
00:26:58,358 --> 00:27:01,228
This market is so saturated
right now,

596
00:27:01,261 --> 00:27:03,530
that readers forget you.

597
00:27:03,563 --> 00:27:07,900
It's a double‐edged sword
for writers because...

598
00:27:07,935 --> 00:27:11,338
...it's great that they have
readers who are clamoring
for their work.

599
00:27:11,371 --> 00:27:13,740
On the other hand, it's really
hard to write ten books a year.

600
00:27:15,042 --> 00:27:16,576
K.P. SIMMON:
Because the market is changing,

601
00:27:16,609 --> 00:27:18,711
we saw this huge explosion,

602
00:27:18,745 --> 00:27:20,747
and now we're seeing
such a saturation.

603
00:27:20,780 --> 00:27:25,718
And, uh, sustainability is an
extremely hard thing to do.

604
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,627
[LAUGHING]

605
00:27:36,429 --> 00:27:39,766
There is no Plan B.
This just better work.

606
00:27:39,799 --> 00:27:43,436
My last novel and novella
that came out in May and June,

607
00:27:43,470 --> 00:27:44,804
the novella in June,

608
00:27:44,837 --> 00:27:46,239
um, hasn't gone so well.

609
00:27:46,273 --> 00:27:48,541
You know, what do you do now?
Do you, do you, you know...

610
00:27:48,575 --> 00:27:50,377
[STUTTERS] And I have no idea.

611
00:27:50,410 --> 00:27:52,645
My books have just fallen
through the cracks.

612
00:27:52,679 --> 00:27:55,548
The pressure to crank out
a new book

613
00:27:55,582 --> 00:27:59,152
every four to six months
has become immense.

614
00:28:13,766 --> 00:28:16,136
All these medical bills
from when, uh, [SIGHS]

615
00:28:16,169 --> 00:28:18,105
Rich got in his
motorcycle accident.

616
00:28:20,373 --> 00:28:23,143
His shoulder still hurts.
He started riding way too early.

617
00:28:24,177 --> 00:28:26,146
But, whatever.

618
00:28:26,179 --> 00:28:29,516
He's stubborn. You're not gonna
stop him from doing
what he wants to do, so.

619
00:28:32,152 --> 00:28:35,622
I've been waiting to like,
write a of full‐length novel
since 2013.

620
00:28:35,655 --> 00:28:38,525
I put one out. That was
the last full‐length novel
that I did.

621
00:28:38,558 --> 00:28:40,994
And since then,
people have been
waiting for me

622
00:28:41,028 --> 00:28:43,196
‐to come out with something.
‐[MOTORBIKE ENGINE STARTS]

623
00:28:48,835 --> 00:28:50,803
‐Rich?
‐GIRL 1: Hopefully.

624
00:28:50,837 --> 00:28:52,973
Rich, will you take this
scooter out?

625
00:28:53,006 --> 00:28:54,707
‐RICH: Whee!
‐CJ: All right.[SIGHS]

626
00:28:54,741 --> 00:28:57,978
Turn sharp to the left
and back up.

627
00:28:59,246 --> 00:29:01,114
Turn it hard left, hard left.

628
00:29:01,148 --> 00:29:02,815
Hard left, so you can
get it out, you know.

629
00:29:02,849 --> 00:29:04,184
You're gonna let her
drive that?

630
00:29:04,217 --> 00:29:05,685
I was gonna ride behind her.

631
00:29:05,718 --> 00:29:07,687
I'm gonna sit with her.
I'm gonna sit here...

632
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,622
‐That's a terrible idea.
‐Right here.

633
00:29:09,656 --> 00:29:13,193
‐BOY: Let her try.
‐All right, yeah, let her try.

634
00:29:13,226 --> 00:29:15,762
[MOTORBIKE ENGINE REVVING]

635
00:29:17,330 --> 00:29:18,265
Okay.

636
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,502
Watch out for your sister.

637
00:29:32,079 --> 00:29:34,014
[LAUGHS]

638
00:29:34,047 --> 00:29:36,716
It's been hard to go
from writing for fun

639
00:29:36,749 --> 00:29:39,086
to writing to pay my rent.

640
00:29:39,119 --> 00:29:40,988
I've been given
such a tremendous opportunity

641
00:29:41,021 --> 00:29:42,889
to do something like this.

642
00:29:42,923 --> 00:29:46,759
Um, and to, you know, to make
a living doing something
that you love,

643
00:29:46,793 --> 00:29:48,996
and I feel like
I'm squandering it

644
00:29:49,029 --> 00:29:51,932
by not taking the opportunities

645
00:29:51,965 --> 00:29:54,567
that could make me
a better writer.

646
00:30:04,877 --> 00:30:06,579
[DOG BARKING]

647
00:30:06,613 --> 00:30:08,916
Nobody in my family
can read the Taken series.

648
00:30:09,616 --> 00:30:10,550
No.

649
00:30:11,318 --> 00:30:14,054
Because it would be weird.

650
00:30:14,087 --> 00:30:15,923
I have not read them.

651
00:30:15,956 --> 00:30:18,358
‐I told them you have
no interest in reading that.
‐I gave her my word,

652
00:30:18,391 --> 00:30:19,993
I would not read them.

653
00:30:21,128 --> 00:30:23,630
Nope. I'm curious. But nope.

654
00:30:23,663 --> 00:30:26,866
I haven't, actually, I'm not,
I'm not into, um,

655
00:30:26,899 --> 00:30:30,403
even the young adult...
don't really,
but I read it, and it was good.

656
00:30:30,437 --> 00:30:35,208
But, um, basically, I just read
historical romance, so, yeah.

657
00:30:35,242 --> 00:30:38,445
No, haven't looked at it.
[LAUGHS]
They're on my bookshelves.

658
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,548
Yup.

659
00:30:41,581 --> 00:30:43,716
And I had her, she signed them
for me and everything, so.

660
00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:45,718
PRODUCER: Were you allowed
to read the inscription?

661
00:30:45,752 --> 00:30:47,720
‐Mmm‐hmm.
‐Yes. It said, "You're not
allowed to read this book."

662
00:30:47,754 --> 00:30:50,290
[BOTH LAUGHING]

663
00:30:50,323 --> 00:30:52,960
I know she's, she can write
better books than that.

664
00:30:52,993 --> 00:30:54,327
I shouldn't say that.

665
00:30:56,296 --> 00:30:57,797
She's a better writer than that.

666
00:30:58,465 --> 00:31:00,633
But, um...

667
00:31:00,667 --> 00:31:03,403
I think at the time,
that was really the trend.

668
00:31:03,436 --> 00:31:05,172
I don't how it is now,

669
00:31:05,205 --> 00:31:07,607
but, you know, I'm kind of proud
that she jumped on board
when she did.

670
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,177
You know, kind of helped
her along a little bit there.

671
00:31:13,780 --> 00:31:15,582
KELLI: You know, my grandma,

672
00:31:15,615 --> 00:31:18,485
she's like, "What do you think
I've never read
a dirty book before?"

673
00:31:18,518 --> 00:31:20,120
Like, well,
you're not reading
my dirty book.

674
00:31:23,190 --> 00:31:26,426
They're looking forward
to my young adult book
coming out.

675
00:31:26,459 --> 00:31:29,462
So it'll be neat
to have something
that's considered normal.

676
00:31:32,665 --> 00:31:34,134
Where did you autograph it?

677
00:31:35,402 --> 00:31:37,170
You should show
the picture of her.

678
00:31:37,204 --> 00:31:38,338
It doesn't look anything
like me.

679
00:31:42,009 --> 00:31:44,611
‐Oh, no.
‐[LAUGHS]

680
00:31:44,644 --> 00:31:46,479
‐KELLI: I don't know.
‐Oh, it doesn't really.

681
00:31:48,315 --> 00:31:50,150
‐Isn't it exciting?
‐Yes.

682
00:31:58,691 --> 00:31:59,927
So proud.

683
00:32:00,994 --> 00:32:03,463
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

684
00:32:03,496 --> 00:32:07,000
KELLI: I'm disappointed that
I sold my rights to something

685
00:32:07,034 --> 00:32:10,803
that didn't perform better
than I think I could have
done myself.

686
00:32:10,837 --> 00:32:12,872
As an author, you sell
the rights to a publisher

687
00:32:12,905 --> 00:32:15,642
because you want your books
to reach readers.

688
00:32:15,675 --> 00:32:18,811
And when it's not you,
it makes you think, well,

689
00:32:18,845 --> 00:32:20,347
you know, I could have
priced the e‐book

690
00:32:20,380 --> 00:32:22,515
a lot lower than $10
and sold more

691
00:32:23,450 --> 00:32:25,352
than what they've sold.

692
00:32:25,385 --> 00:32:26,853
There's transition,

693
00:32:26,886 --> 00:32:30,257
and some can handle
the transition,
and some realize

694
00:32:30,290 --> 00:32:33,893
"I don't think that's for me,"
something they always dreamt of.

695
00:32:33,927 --> 00:32:36,496
Then they realize,
"Yeah, that's not for me."

696
00:32:36,529 --> 00:32:39,266
You have so much more control
when you self‐publish.

697
00:32:39,299 --> 00:32:41,234
You have control over timing,

698
00:32:41,268 --> 00:32:44,571
you have control over
what exactly is in the book.

699
00:32:44,604 --> 00:32:48,708
Um, there's just, you know,
you have all of your hands
in the pot.

700
00:32:48,741 --> 00:32:52,679
BEA: We love Kristen so much
that her name
is on our tote bag.

701
00:32:52,712 --> 00:32:54,014
LEAH: Mmm‐hmm.

702
00:32:54,047 --> 00:32:56,116
It's there for a reason.

703
00:32:56,149 --> 00:33:00,853
Mostly 'cause of her
own self‐publishing prowess,

704
00:33:00,887 --> 00:33:03,756
and, and what she kind of
represents in the industry,

705
00:33:03,790 --> 00:33:06,393
which is something
very unique and special.

706
00:33:06,426 --> 00:33:08,261
She was putting out the books
she wanted to put out.

707
00:33:08,295 --> 00:33:10,964
She was... they were looking
the way that she wanted
them to look,

708
00:33:10,998 --> 00:33:14,367
and people really respect
that kind of control.

709
00:33:14,401 --> 00:33:17,904
I think it's been an interesting
sort of power dynamic shift.

710
00:33:17,938 --> 00:33:20,740
So in the past,
when a publisher would come
to an author and say,

711
00:33:20,773 --> 00:33:24,544
"We want to pay you this amount
of money to buy your book."

712
00:33:24,577 --> 00:33:27,948
You know, it was very rare
for people to say no,

713
00:33:27,981 --> 00:33:29,816
even if it wasn't enough money.

714
00:33:29,849 --> 00:33:33,954
But now, because people
have the ability to make
the money on their own,

715
00:33:33,987 --> 00:33:38,391
the offer has to be something
that they really want.

716
00:33:38,425 --> 00:33:41,061
Generally speaking,
if you self‐publish,

717
00:33:41,094 --> 00:33:44,097
your book is almost
certainly digital.

718
00:33:44,131 --> 00:33:47,500
Um, you can produce
physical books,

719
00:33:47,534 --> 00:33:49,836
but it's hard to get them
into stores.

720
00:33:49,869 --> 00:33:51,671
I mean,
it's virtually impossible.

721
00:33:51,704 --> 00:33:55,242
KRISTEN: This book is backed
by Simon & Schuster.

722
00:33:55,275 --> 00:33:58,011
So it's the first traditionally
published book

723
00:33:58,045 --> 00:33:59,846
that is out there from me.

724
00:33:59,879 --> 00:34:02,349
It was difficult to give up
control on things,

725
00:34:02,382 --> 00:34:06,853
and to have my editor say,
"Nope, I don't like your hero.

726
00:34:06,886 --> 00:34:10,257
"We're going to change it."
And I was like, "No.

727
00:34:10,290 --> 00:34:12,459
"No, no, no,
we're not changing it."

728
00:34:12,492 --> 00:34:15,095
Um, but it's not technically
my book.

729
00:34:15,128 --> 00:34:18,932
They bought it from me,
so I had to. [LAUGHS]

730
00:34:18,966 --> 00:34:21,134
DIRECTOR: So it is first thing
in the morning,

731
00:34:21,168 --> 00:34:23,503
and we're pulling up
to Kristen's house.

732
00:34:23,536 --> 00:34:28,875
Um, she has released
Loving Cara today,

733
00:34:28,908 --> 00:34:32,612
and we're going to bring her
wine for breakfast.

734
00:34:32,645 --> 00:34:37,117
Every trusty assistant
should have a key to get in.

735
00:34:37,150 --> 00:34:39,686
Good morning.
Happy release day.

736
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,689
‐Good morning. Thank you.
‐You're supposed to be naked.

737
00:34:42,722 --> 00:34:44,824
You told me.
You told me you'd be naked.

738
00:34:44,857 --> 00:34:48,728
‐I am so not naked.
‐She's a liar.
She lies, people.

739
00:34:48,761 --> 00:34:51,631
‐There you go, my dear.
‐Oh, my goodness.

740
00:34:51,664 --> 00:34:53,633
See, if she...

741
00:34:53,666 --> 00:34:55,735
...plans to get drunk
before 8:00,

742
00:34:55,768 --> 00:34:57,237
she's got about three minutes.

743
00:34:57,270 --> 00:34:59,406
Just gonna... why need a glass?
I mean...

744
00:34:59,439 --> 00:35:00,974
Drink it right out
of the bottle.

745
00:35:01,008 --> 00:35:03,043
‐That's right. Thank you.
‐You're welcome.

746
00:35:03,076 --> 00:35:04,811
‐Are you excited?
‐Yes.

747
00:35:04,844 --> 00:35:06,746
What are we doing today?

748
00:35:06,779 --> 00:35:09,016
We're doing a Facebook party
right now.

749
00:35:09,049 --> 00:35:10,517
And then?

750
00:35:10,550 --> 00:35:12,385
And then we're gonna go
find the book in the store.

751
00:35:12,419 --> 00:35:13,520
‐Yay.
‐Yay.

752
00:35:15,788 --> 00:35:19,892
KRISTEN: So the new series
is called
Love Under the Big Sky.

753
00:35:19,927 --> 00:35:23,530
It's a trilogy
that takes place in Montana.

754
00:35:23,563 --> 00:35:28,601
The books will be mass market,
so they'll be in grocery stores
and WalMart and Target.

755
00:35:28,635 --> 00:35:32,405
So hopefully, readers
will pick it up and then say,

756
00:35:32,439 --> 00:35:34,541
"Well, what else
has she written?"

757
00:35:34,574 --> 00:35:37,577
I'm glad you're having a party
for this 'cause it's a big deal.

758
00:35:38,578 --> 00:35:41,248
It is a big deal. Yeah.

759
00:35:41,281 --> 00:35:44,251
It doesn't really feel
real yet. Even though
I saw it in the store.

760
00:35:44,284 --> 00:35:46,619
‐Will you ever feel like
it happened?
‐Probably not.

761
00:35:46,653 --> 00:35:48,788
Although, I will say,
it was quite impressive

762
00:35:48,821 --> 00:35:53,593
to stand in Barnes & Noble
and see my name right above
Nora Roberts' name.

763
00:35:53,626 --> 00:35:57,030
‐[SIGHS]
‐That was, I think the moment

764
00:35:57,064 --> 00:35:59,066
that I might have got
a little teary,

765
00:35:59,099 --> 00:36:01,134
‐'cause that's it, right?
‐ASSISTANT: Yeah.

766
00:36:01,168 --> 00:36:02,535
‐Right.
‐That's the dream
right here, yeah.

767
00:36:02,569 --> 00:36:03,770
ASSISTANT: Oh, yeah.

768
00:36:03,803 --> 00:36:06,473
The religious pressure
that we're all under,

769
00:36:06,506 --> 00:36:09,809
‐I think is fascinating that...
‐Yeah.

770
00:36:09,842 --> 00:36:13,947
...that you find that
because we're not,
we're not all harlots,

771
00:36:13,981 --> 00:36:16,783
‐and...
‐WOMAN 4: We are not?

772
00:36:16,816 --> 00:36:18,751
Speak for yourself.
I'm kidding.

773
00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:22,122
‐I mean...
‐Even though we write about it,

774
00:36:22,155 --> 00:36:26,659
we're not all these...
well, we have moral values,

775
00:36:26,693 --> 00:36:29,796
‐and traditions and...
‐WOMAN 4: Well, let's be clear,
sex isn't bad.

776
00:36:29,829 --> 00:36:33,766
‐Right, I know. An entire book
of the Bible that's just
dedicated to sex.

777
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,302
‐Oh, I've read that one.
‐The Old Testament.

778
00:36:35,335 --> 00:36:36,369
Song of Solomon?

779
00:36:37,437 --> 00:36:39,339
The Old Testament is...

780
00:36:39,372 --> 00:36:42,109
[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION]

781
00:36:42,142 --> 00:36:45,345
[ALL LAUGHING]

782
00:36:45,378 --> 00:36:49,316
We can write a great,
a great re‐telling
of David and...

783
00:36:49,349 --> 00:36:51,584
I mean just a great...
[INDISTINCT]

784
00:36:51,618 --> 00:36:53,520
But, but, right,
'cause we're not.

785
00:36:53,553 --> 00:36:58,025
But we get this judgment
and I'm finding that's more
and more common with.

786
00:36:58,058 --> 00:37:01,761
‐Oh, yeah.
‐Other authors
feeling that pressure.

787
00:37:01,794 --> 00:37:04,831
Yeah, that's why there's a lot
of pen names and...

788
00:37:04,864 --> 00:37:09,202
The biggest industry,
the biggest genre
that has sold in the industry

789
00:37:09,236 --> 00:37:12,672
was, was romance.
And then the next closest genre

790
00:37:12,705 --> 00:37:14,707
or category, was thrillers.

791
00:37:14,741 --> 00:37:16,676
‐WOMAN 2: I was gonna say,
was it thrillers?
‐It was thrillers.

792
00:37:16,709 --> 00:37:21,114
‐James Patterson for the...
‐Right. Grisham. You know,
those sort of novels.

793
00:37:21,148 --> 00:37:23,150
If romance is selling
eight million,

794
00:37:23,183 --> 00:37:25,385
and then the next is thriller,

795
00:37:25,418 --> 00:37:28,621
then why in the heck is
Dan Brown and James Patterson,

796
00:37:28,655 --> 00:37:31,724
the one getting on
Good Morning America
and the Today show,

797
00:37:31,758 --> 00:37:34,861
and my romance authors
are not getting on there

798
00:37:34,894 --> 00:37:36,796
when they're the ones
selling the most books.

799
00:37:36,829 --> 00:37:37,864
[ALL LAUGHS]

800
00:37:37,897 --> 00:37:40,567
All right, let's go party.

801
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,803
‐WOMAN 1: Look at everybody
wonder who she is.
‐WOMAN 2: Like, what's going on?

802
00:37:43,836 --> 00:37:46,039
Who is she?
Look at her.

803
00:37:46,073 --> 00:37:48,741
Hi, everybody.

804
00:37:48,775 --> 00:37:51,979
Um, no, thank you all so much
for coming. I'm super excited.

805
00:37:52,012 --> 00:37:56,349
Chat and, um, drink and eat
and hang out.

806
00:37:56,383 --> 00:38:00,587
And drink. And, um, I will
come around to everybody

807
00:38:00,620 --> 00:38:02,689
and chat and I'm gonna
sign books for you.

808
00:38:02,722 --> 00:38:04,992
♪ It's half the fun
'Cause here it comes

809
00:38:05,025 --> 00:38:07,060
♪ Oh here it comes
We know

810
00:38:08,428 --> 00:38:11,064
♪ Oh, we'll make it!

811
00:38:14,267 --> 00:38:15,202
♪ Oh

812
00:38:15,235 --> 00:38:19,839
♪ The sky is our limit now

813
00:38:19,872 --> 00:38:21,008
♪ We'll take this dance...

814
00:38:21,041 --> 00:38:22,575
And so I can knock it
over there.

815
00:38:22,609 --> 00:38:25,078
I think your book
was on the same bookshelf
as Nora Roberts.

816
00:38:25,112 --> 00:38:27,014
‐I know.
‐That's like
the coolest thing ever.

817
00:38:27,047 --> 00:38:29,549
‐Tell me you took a picture.
‐I did take a picture.
You wanna see it?

818
00:38:29,582 --> 00:38:30,750
[BOTH LAUGH]

819
00:38:30,783 --> 00:38:31,784
♪ We'll make it! ♪

820
00:38:34,121 --> 00:38:37,090
DIRECTOR: So, Kelli,
you don't think
your second book sold as well?

821
00:38:37,124 --> 00:38:38,791
KELLI: No, it didn't.

822
00:38:38,825 --> 00:38:42,963
One of my faults is trying
to bring the more plot

823
00:38:42,996 --> 00:38:45,032
over onto this side.

824
00:38:45,065 --> 00:38:49,036
And it's... I don't think
it's working out for me so well.
[CHUCKLES]

825
00:38:49,069 --> 00:38:50,938
Nobody wants a whole lot of plot
with their sex.

826
00:38:50,971 --> 00:38:53,941
Just, you know, that's what
I'm finding out. [LAUGHS]

827
00:38:53,974 --> 00:38:55,943
We don't need all that.

828
00:38:55,976 --> 00:38:57,945
Twist, turns, yeah, you know,
maybe one or two,

829
00:38:57,978 --> 00:39:00,447
but nothing real difficult
to follow. It's just...

830
00:39:02,015 --> 00:39:04,584
I've got all my books
in boxes over here.

831
00:39:04,617 --> 00:39:07,487
I should probably make them
a little prettier, I know.

832
00:39:09,122 --> 00:39:12,325
This is the magnet boards.
They're like dry erase boards.

833
00:39:12,359 --> 00:39:15,028
So I've got all my Taken
and Given and...

834
00:39:16,029 --> 00:39:19,266
stuff just, uh, in boxes.

835
00:39:19,299 --> 00:39:21,935
I know, right? I think
I've sent one out now, but...

836
00:39:21,969 --> 00:39:25,272
You know, I think that
I just I do better
when I have freedom

837
00:39:25,305 --> 00:39:28,675
to be creative and come up
with new things.

838
00:39:28,708 --> 00:39:33,013
And I don't like doing
the same thing over and over
and over and over again.

839
00:39:33,046 --> 00:39:34,281
DIRECTOR: What is the formula?

840
00:39:35,315 --> 00:39:36,749
Well, there's the friends
to lovers.

841
00:39:36,783 --> 00:39:38,952
There's the you know,
the billionaire,

842
00:39:38,986 --> 00:39:40,921
there's the rock star,
there's the biker this,

843
00:39:40,954 --> 00:39:43,456
but it's always saving the girl.
You know, sometimes

844
00:39:43,490 --> 00:39:46,359
he's tortured,
the tortured hero too,
and they save each other.

845
00:39:46,393 --> 00:39:48,661
But somebody's always in need
of saving and tortured,

846
00:39:48,695 --> 00:39:51,598
and, you know,
emotionally crazy.

847
00:39:51,631 --> 00:39:53,833
And, you know,
the magic sex happens,
and then everybody's happy,

848
00:39:53,866 --> 00:39:55,602
and nobody needs
to see a psychologist.

849
00:39:55,635 --> 00:39:59,772
Or, you know, it's all...
just the magic orgasm.

850
00:39:59,806 --> 00:40:02,976
Magic, magic, healing power
of the billionaire's orgasm.

851
00:40:03,010 --> 00:40:05,812
[LAUGHS] That's what it is.

852
00:40:05,845 --> 00:40:08,015
DIRECTOR: What do you say
to people say that

853
00:40:08,048 --> 00:40:10,483
people read this as a fantasy.
It's an escape.

854
00:40:10,517 --> 00:40:12,385
And they do, and I know that
it's an escape,

855
00:40:12,419 --> 00:40:15,155
but it's you know,
they, they live that real life.

856
00:40:15,188 --> 00:40:18,391
So they just want that happiness
that, you know,

857
00:40:18,425 --> 00:40:19,960
that's not who I am though,
you know.

858
00:40:19,993 --> 00:40:23,796
So I have a hard time,
um, connecting with that

859
00:40:23,830 --> 00:40:26,166
because that's, to me,
it's cheesy.

860
00:40:32,439 --> 00:40:34,241
TOLMAN: [NARRATING]

861
00:40:34,274 --> 00:40:36,476
"The club is packed.
Bodies grind together
on the dance floor.

862
00:40:36,509 --> 00:40:38,111
"There's barely room to move.

863
00:40:38,878 --> 00:40:40,247
"You catch my eye.

864
00:40:40,847 --> 00:40:42,515
"You're alone.

865
00:40:42,549 --> 00:40:46,419
"Bass pounds through my body,
rushes from my head to my toes,

866
00:40:46,453 --> 00:40:49,256
"takes the same path
your eyes follow.

867
00:40:49,289 --> 00:40:52,725
"Your dark eyed stares
flutter soft on my skin.

868
00:40:52,759 --> 00:40:54,394
"It raises goose bumps.

869
00:40:54,427 --> 00:40:56,063
"Makes me flush.

870
00:40:56,096 --> 00:40:59,266
"My vodka and cranberry
soaked blood runs hot
with need.

871
00:40:59,933 --> 00:41:01,534
"You smile.

872
00:41:01,568 --> 00:41:03,703
"Dimples pierce your cheeks.

873
00:41:03,736 --> 00:41:07,174
"Your eyes flash.
I can't resist.

874
00:41:07,207 --> 00:41:09,977
"'Rach.'
Shannon grabs my arm.

875
00:41:10,010 --> 00:41:13,446
"She's sweaty from dancing
and pulls her blonde hair up
off her shoulders.

876
00:41:13,981 --> 00:41:15,782
"'I'm going.'

877
00:41:15,815 --> 00:41:19,486
"She tilts her head
towards Sean or Shane
or Seth, I'm not sure.

878
00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:22,255
"The guy she met two hours ago.

879
00:41:22,289 --> 00:41:25,558
"'How am I supposed
to get home?' She drove.

880
00:41:25,592 --> 00:41:27,995
"Shannon shoves her car keys
in my hand.

881
00:41:28,028 --> 00:41:29,896
"'See you in the morning.'

882
00:41:29,930 --> 00:41:32,232
"She winks and pushes back
through the crowd

883
00:41:32,265 --> 00:41:35,468
"toward the guy whose name
starts with an S.

884
00:41:35,502 --> 00:41:37,837
"When I turned from watching
Shannon go,

885
00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:39,639
"you're standing
right in front of me.

886
00:41:40,473 --> 00:41:41,874
"'Hi', you say.

887
00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:44,744
"Familiarity strikes.

888
00:41:44,777 --> 00:41:47,047
"But I don't think
I'd ever forget meeting you.

889
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:49,116
"'Hi.'

890
00:41:49,149 --> 00:41:51,985
"I fall into your dark eyes
and can't get out.

891
00:41:52,019 --> 00:41:54,687
"They're serious and focused
on mine.

892
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:57,190
"Looking away would be a crime.

893
00:41:57,224 --> 00:42:00,427
"You ran a hand through your
wavy black‐brown hair.

894
00:42:00,460 --> 00:42:02,629
"Are you nervous? I can't tell.

895
00:42:03,830 --> 00:42:05,465
'"What were you drinking?'

896
00:42:05,498 --> 00:42:08,401
"You tap my glass.
Empty except for melting ice.

897
00:42:09,202 --> 00:42:11,038
'"Vodka and cranberry.'

898
00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:13,840
"I take in a thick damp breath.

899
00:42:13,873 --> 00:42:18,511
"Dancing bodies fog up the air,
make it heavy to breathe.

900
00:42:18,545 --> 00:42:21,881
"You shake your beer bottle,
indicating its emptiness.

901
00:42:21,915 --> 00:42:24,217
"'I'm headed to the bar.
Would you like another?'

902
00:42:25,352 --> 00:42:27,720
"I have to drive
Shannon's car home.

903
00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:29,656
"But I don't want to stop
talking to you.

904
00:42:30,557 --> 00:42:32,392
"I nod. 'Please.

905
00:42:33,660 --> 00:42:35,528
"'I'll drink slowly.

906
00:42:35,562 --> 00:42:36,896
"'I'll drive even slower.'

907
00:42:37,931 --> 00:42:39,466
"I follow behind you,

908
00:42:39,499 --> 00:42:43,470
"taking in the view of your
incredible backside and jeans.

909
00:42:43,503 --> 00:42:47,740
"A black long sleeve shirt
shifts with your strong,
wide shoulders,

910
00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:50,143
"and hugs your narrow waist.

911
00:42:50,177 --> 00:42:53,213
"You work out. A lot.

912
00:42:53,246 --> 00:42:58,018
"The body I'm staring at
didn't come from luck
and a good gene pool.

913
00:42:58,051 --> 00:43:01,054
"You glance back to make sure
I'm following.

914
00:43:01,088 --> 00:43:03,323
"When a group of people
push between us,

915
00:43:03,356 --> 00:43:05,993
"you reach out
and take my hand.

916
00:43:06,026 --> 00:43:09,096
"My fingers curl around yours
like they're possessed."

917
00:43:12,732 --> 00:43:14,301
Oh, it's in here someplace.

918
00:43:16,970 --> 00:43:19,072
Ah, there it is.

919
00:43:19,106 --> 00:43:23,043
I think the problem obviously,
is that I don't write romance,
I don't read romance.

920
00:43:23,076 --> 00:43:25,946
I don't know
what these women like.

921
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:29,749
Um, do you write

922
00:43:29,782 --> 00:43:32,552
what you just really
want to write?

923
00:43:33,553 --> 00:43:36,089
And possibly have it...

924
00:43:36,123 --> 00:43:37,958
die on the vine and go nowhere?

925
00:43:37,991 --> 00:43:40,327
Um, or do you keep trying
to just pump out

926
00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:45,365
the very commercial
romance fest stuff?

927
00:43:45,398 --> 00:43:47,968
It's if you have
a competitive personality,

928
00:43:48,001 --> 00:43:51,538
it's like, you know,
okay, I'm not gonna
let this beat me.

929
00:43:51,571 --> 00:43:54,741
I'm not gonna let this beat me.
Even though,
you're absolutely miserable.

930
00:43:54,774 --> 00:43:58,745
Like I've spent the last
couple years just
absolutely miserable

931
00:43:58,778 --> 00:44:01,748
because I'm not having fun
writing anymore.

932
00:44:03,816 --> 00:44:05,018
Annie, you wanna go outside?

933
00:44:07,454 --> 00:44:10,723
You know, I'm trying
to figure out what's,
what do people want to read.

934
00:44:10,757 --> 00:44:12,759
And how do I reach these people
and where'd they go,

935
00:44:12,792 --> 00:44:14,794
and how do I get it back?

936
00:44:14,827 --> 00:44:19,366
And you know, and it's just
been a constant source
of, you know, anxiety.

937
00:44:22,635 --> 00:44:24,871
MAN 1: Mine goes rolling over.
Come on over here.

938
00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:28,441
MAN 2: Good catch,
good catch.

939
00:44:30,978 --> 00:44:32,679
Oh, careful.

940
00:44:32,712 --> 00:44:34,114
MAN 1: Here, give me
your plate, Lou.

941
00:44:36,283 --> 00:44:39,119
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

942
00:44:39,152 --> 00:44:42,122
‐MAN 3: Where is he?
‐MAN 2: His name is Juan.
And he is funnier.

943
00:44:43,456 --> 00:44:45,959
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

944
00:44:48,962 --> 00:44:50,397
Here's four plates.

945
00:44:51,965 --> 00:44:53,266
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

946
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:54,134
[LAUGHTER]

947
00:45:00,173 --> 00:45:03,210
CJ: I live out
in the middle of nowhere.

948
00:45:03,243 --> 00:45:06,679
So, since I got out
of the military, I've just been,

949
00:45:06,713 --> 00:45:10,183
you know, living there
with my husband and my kids,

950
00:45:10,217 --> 00:45:12,652
and doing the whole
domestic thing,

951
00:45:12,685 --> 00:45:15,588
which I never really
imagined myself doing.

952
00:45:27,034 --> 00:45:29,970
Think there's probably
a good reason we're not gonna be
able to find your art supplies

953
00:45:30,003 --> 00:45:32,172
'cause I bet you,
they're in the closet.

954
00:45:32,205 --> 00:45:34,807
I wouldn't record my closet.

955
00:45:34,841 --> 00:45:38,345
‐[LAUGHS]
‐It's very, very, very dirty...

956
00:45:40,013 --> 00:45:41,481
...in here.

957
00:45:41,514 --> 00:45:42,983
Oh, my God, Booba.

958
00:45:43,016 --> 00:45:44,117
GIRL: I know.

959
00:45:45,252 --> 00:45:47,687
‐I need to clean it.
‐What is this?

960
00:45:48,922 --> 00:45:50,057
Mod Pogde.

961
00:45:50,924 --> 00:45:52,759
CJ: Oh, my God, Nina.

962
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,028
I'm sorry, okay.

963
00:45:55,062 --> 00:45:57,064
CJ: God, every picture
you see of me
when I was a baby,

964
00:45:57,097 --> 00:45:59,066
I'm like wearing, like, lace.

965
00:45:59,099 --> 00:46:01,234
And I hated it
'cause it was itchy.

966
00:46:01,268 --> 00:46:03,570
So when I had my daughter,
I was like no baby dolls.

967
00:46:03,603 --> 00:46:05,872
Anybody who gets me
anything pink will be murdered.

968
00:46:05,905 --> 00:46:08,275
There will be no kitchen sets
at my house.

969
00:46:08,308 --> 00:46:10,677
And, and then,
the opposite happened,

970
00:46:10,710 --> 00:46:13,246
where I have the girliest,

971
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:18,085
princess, sugar cane child
that I could possibly have.

972
00:46:18,118 --> 00:46:19,752
You know, I'm like,
Don't you want this truck?"

973
00:46:19,786 --> 00:46:23,423
She's like, "No, but what do you
have in glitter?" [LAUGHS]

974
00:46:23,456 --> 00:46:25,725
HOST: [OVER VIDEO]
Our little Miss West River

975
00:46:25,758 --> 00:46:28,528
is contestant number nine,
Nina Roberts.

976
00:46:28,561 --> 00:46:31,598
[WHISTLING AND CHEERING]

977
00:46:31,631 --> 00:46:35,368
CJ: And then I realized
that I had to let her be that.

978
00:46:35,402 --> 00:46:38,405
My mom wanted me to be glitter,
and I wasn't.

979
00:46:38,438 --> 00:46:41,541
But my daughter is.
And I have to let her be that.

980
00:46:41,574 --> 00:46:44,311
Like I know with
my first pageant, I'm like...

981
00:46:56,589 --> 00:46:58,091
CJ: Writing can be
really lonely.

982
00:46:58,125 --> 00:47:01,061
You spend a lot of time
by yourself in a room

983
00:47:01,094 --> 00:47:02,162
talking to yourself.

984
00:47:11,939 --> 00:47:14,674
Because I see people
having just cranking stuff out,

985
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,609
and I'm like, I, I just can't.

986
00:47:16,643 --> 00:47:19,312
You know, things come to me
when they come to me,

987
00:47:19,346 --> 00:47:22,149
and they come to me organically
and I can't help that.

988
00:47:22,182 --> 00:47:24,117
When I was writing
The Dark Duet,

989
00:47:24,151 --> 00:47:26,586
I slept it, like, breathed it.

990
00:47:26,619 --> 00:47:29,756
It obsessed me.
My hands hurt like...

991
00:47:29,789 --> 00:47:32,125
It's something that
won't leave you alone

992
00:47:32,159 --> 00:47:35,195
until you're done,
until you're done.

993
00:47:35,228 --> 00:47:37,797
So once, I just want
to get that going.

994
00:47:42,802 --> 00:47:46,539
Is this the one of the story
you're talking about
the other night about

995
00:47:46,573 --> 00:47:48,775
‐being in the room?
‐CJ: Oh, yeah. No.

996
00:47:48,808 --> 00:47:50,810
‐That's just another story
that I was thinking about.
‐Oh.

997
00:47:50,843 --> 00:47:54,047
‐I could tie it into this one,
I suppose.
‐Right.

998
00:47:54,081 --> 00:47:59,119
Um, but, okay, so
if I were gonna do that,
what would I do?

999
00:47:59,152 --> 00:48:02,055
Okay, so somebody finds a note.

1000
00:48:02,089 --> 00:48:05,158
Well, it works because
of the‐‐ You were
talking about it being like,

1001
00:48:05,192 --> 00:48:08,328
that person wakes up in a room
and there's a camera,
and they're being told.

1002
00:48:08,361 --> 00:48:11,898
Oh, this is like, they,
you find a note,
they're somewhere

1003
00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:14,935
they're not supposed to be.
They're snooping around.

1004
00:48:17,604 --> 00:48:20,507
And they have an hour
to meet somebody at an address.

1005
00:48:20,540 --> 00:48:21,908
Who snoops around?

1006
00:48:24,111 --> 00:48:26,579
‐Detectives snoop around.
‐Detectives.

1007
00:48:27,414 --> 00:48:30,050
New. The new...

1008
00:48:30,083 --> 00:48:31,952
‐Okay.
‐Hmm.

1009
00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:35,055
‐Rich?
‐Yes.

1010
00:48:35,088 --> 00:48:36,957
People that snoop around.

1011
00:48:37,557 --> 00:48:38,992
Thoughts?

1012
00:48:39,026 --> 00:48:41,228
‐RICH: People that snoop around?
‐Yeah.

1013
00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:42,695
RICH: You gotta be a little more
specific than that.

1014
00:48:42,729 --> 00:48:44,264
What would you, like, like,

1015
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:46,766
we've got private investigators,

1016
00:48:46,799 --> 00:48:49,937
and busy body housewives,
people that snoop around.

1017
00:48:51,138 --> 00:48:52,705
RICH: Um...

1018
00:48:52,739 --> 00:48:54,907
‐Can I get you
to braid my hair, please?
‐CJ: Yeah.

1019
00:48:55,943 --> 00:48:57,277
All right, people snoop around.

1020
00:48:57,310 --> 00:48:58,778
‐I like the neighbor's idea.
‐BRANDON: Yeah.

1021
00:48:58,811 --> 00:49:02,349
Maybe somebody moves in
next door,

1022
00:49:02,382 --> 00:49:06,219
and like, is really weird
for whatever reason.

1023
00:49:06,253 --> 00:49:07,887
I haven't thought of that yet.

1024
00:49:07,921 --> 00:49:08,989
And...

1025
00:49:10,257 --> 00:49:12,259
maybe you put cameras
in your house

1026
00:49:12,292 --> 00:49:14,962
because you were concerned that
at some point they're going to
come over there.

1027
00:49:14,995 --> 00:49:16,729
And then maybe they do.
But why do they?

1028
00:49:16,763 --> 00:49:20,867
Ooh. Maybe you're
hiding something.

1029
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,204
I kind of like that because
you would be paranoid,

1030
00:49:24,237 --> 00:49:25,872
you'd have cameras
in your house,

1031
00:49:25,905 --> 00:49:27,640
and if somebody did move in
next door,

1032
00:49:27,674 --> 00:49:30,477
and was paying
a particular amount
of attention to you,

1033
00:49:30,510 --> 00:49:32,612
‐you would certainly
be concerned about that.
‐BRANDON: Yeah.

1034
00:49:34,147 --> 00:49:35,648
Maybe like that.

1035
00:49:35,682 --> 00:49:37,117
What's the point
of this conversation?

1036
00:49:37,150 --> 00:49:39,552
I have to write
a 15,000 word story by July.

1037
00:49:39,586 --> 00:49:40,954
Oh, yeah.

1038
00:49:40,988 --> 00:49:42,455
It doesn't sound like fun.

1039
00:49:44,024 --> 00:49:45,758
Unless, that's what you do.

1040
00:49:46,626 --> 00:49:48,528
‐[LAUGHS]
‐RICH: I suppose.

1041
00:49:56,669 --> 00:50:00,140
I have a lot of friends that
do have the husbands
that are not supportive.

1042
00:50:00,173 --> 00:50:02,309
And I have some friends that
their husbands are supportive,

1043
00:50:02,342 --> 00:50:05,312
and some of them have been able
to make it work, and some
of them have not,

1044
00:50:05,345 --> 00:50:08,916
'cause just some men can't,
can't take that flip.

1045
00:50:08,949 --> 00:50:10,650
It was a bit
of a transition because...

1046
00:50:11,218 --> 00:50:12,986
I went from...

1047
00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:16,156
I manage movie theaters
and Blockbuster stores
and everything

1048
00:50:16,189 --> 00:50:18,058
to being at home.

1049
00:50:18,959 --> 00:50:21,461
Um, and she worked at home,

1050
00:50:21,494 --> 00:50:24,164
and then she became, you know,
she's successful.

1051
00:50:24,797 --> 00:50:27,267
So I had to, um...

1052
00:50:27,300 --> 00:50:31,171
be supportive
but realize that my ego

1053
00:50:31,204 --> 00:50:34,174
has to be in check
because I think...

1054
00:50:34,207 --> 00:50:35,642
I think it's hard
for a lot of guys

1055
00:50:35,675 --> 00:50:39,546
to like, think of their wives
as being the breadwinners,

1056
00:50:39,579 --> 00:50:41,949
and not themselves. So...

1057
00:50:41,982 --> 00:50:44,584
‐[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
‐[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]

1058
00:50:52,892 --> 00:50:55,828
TOM: In our present
financial arrangement,

1059
00:50:55,862 --> 00:50:58,831
we don't really need
my income.

1060
00:50:58,865 --> 00:51:00,633
I mean, I went through
bouts of depression,

1061
00:51:00,667 --> 00:51:04,137
and just,
just trying to...

1062
00:51:04,171 --> 00:51:07,340
to come to understand the new
relationship in the way,
the way everything is working.

1063
00:51:13,546 --> 00:51:14,915
KRISTEN: People talk about

1064
00:51:14,948 --> 00:51:18,318
how they usually fight
mostly about financial things,

1065
00:51:18,351 --> 00:51:20,988
and that's a huge stressor
in most relationships.

1066
00:51:21,021 --> 00:51:25,058
We were no different.
So I thought, when the success
started happening,

1067
00:51:25,092 --> 00:51:28,095
that would be pretty much
taken care of
and things will be great.

1068
00:51:28,128 --> 00:51:30,063
And then, um,

1069
00:51:30,097 --> 00:51:33,033
the books started to sell,
and we, and I became
pretty successful,

1070
00:51:33,066 --> 00:51:35,268
and he could not deal.

1071
00:51:35,302 --> 00:51:38,905
To the point where it wasn't
just him being quiet about it.

1072
00:51:38,939 --> 00:51:42,109
It was, now we're
just gonna demean it,

1073
00:51:42,142 --> 00:51:43,944
and embarrass you
in front of fans,

1074
00:51:43,977 --> 00:51:47,347
and be a jerk pretty much.

1075
00:51:47,380 --> 00:51:49,917
You know, you hear all the time,
somebody will say,

1076
00:51:49,950 --> 00:51:52,252
"Well, he didn't hit me."

1077
00:51:52,285 --> 00:51:54,121
"Well, no, but called you
a fucking whore,"

1078
00:51:54,154 --> 00:51:57,590
like, is that worse or better...
I don't know. [LAUGHS]

1079
00:51:57,624 --> 00:52:00,527
I don't want either of those
things to happen to me.

1080
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,062
So...

1081
00:52:02,095 --> 00:52:04,364
I think we forget that, um,

1082
00:52:04,397 --> 00:52:06,833
just because you're not
hurting physically
that you're not hurting.

1083
00:52:11,604 --> 00:52:14,274
One day I just said,
"You're not allowed to
talk to me like this anymore."

1084
00:52:14,307 --> 00:52:17,077
And I've not seen him
since that day.

1085
00:52:17,110 --> 00:52:19,779
I grabbed my computer
and my purse and I left.

1086
00:52:19,812 --> 00:52:23,116
Checked into a hotel.
I had no clothes.
I had no stuff.

1087
00:52:23,150 --> 00:52:25,685
I just packed my car
and went to Montana.

1088
00:52:27,087 --> 00:52:29,156
[TRAIN HORN HONKING]

1089
00:52:36,629 --> 00:52:39,066
I think I probably expected

1090
00:52:39,099 --> 00:52:41,501
to live a very similar life
to my parents

1091
00:52:41,534 --> 00:52:44,371
as far as being working class.
And...

1092
00:52:46,839 --> 00:52:49,709
Uh, I figured
I would be married
and have children, and...

1093
00:52:50,510 --> 00:52:51,344
um...

1094
00:52:54,347 --> 00:52:56,849
I think, I don't know.

1095
00:52:56,883 --> 00:52:59,286
I mean, I think most kids
that come from...

1096
00:53:00,620 --> 00:53:03,190
...small towns probably
all think the same.

1097
00:53:03,223 --> 00:53:06,093
I didn't expect
to move away, ever.

1098
00:53:06,126 --> 00:53:09,129
I didn't expect to, um...

1099
00:53:11,798 --> 00:53:16,103
choose a career that,
that it makes me well known

1100
00:53:16,136 --> 00:53:17,504
to people, and...

1101
00:53:18,338 --> 00:53:19,539
um...

1102
00:53:21,008 --> 00:53:22,842
It's definitely different
than I expected.

1103
00:53:22,875 --> 00:53:26,413
I just thought
I'd be a regular...
probably a mom.

1104
00:53:28,481 --> 00:53:30,450
I was able to get out
of that situation,

1105
00:53:30,483 --> 00:53:32,352
because I, um,

1106
00:53:32,385 --> 00:53:34,988
I was successful
with the publishing.

1107
00:53:35,022 --> 00:53:38,158
Uh, a few years prior,
I would not have been
able to leave.

1108
00:53:38,191 --> 00:53:40,327
Um, it's just too expensive.

1109
00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:46,799
Sorry.
What a person wants...

1110
00:53:46,833 --> 00:53:48,035
[SIGHS] Hold on.

1111
00:53:55,175 --> 00:53:56,509
[SNIFFLES]

1112
00:54:00,580 --> 00:54:01,848
Um...

1113
00:54:10,790 --> 00:54:12,192
[SNIFFLES]

1114
00:54:12,892 --> 00:54:14,727
Give me five.

1115
00:54:14,761 --> 00:54:17,497
‐CJ: What's going on?
‐NINA: [ON PHONE] I just
got home from school,

1116
00:54:17,530 --> 00:54:21,734
and Britney just
bailed out on Daddy.

1117
00:54:21,768 --> 00:54:24,271
‐So, and Daddy is sick.
‐CJ: Oh.

1118
00:54:24,304 --> 00:54:26,173
And I'm not supposed to be
telling you this

1119
00:54:26,206 --> 00:54:28,775
because he can hear me
through the air vent.

1120
00:54:28,808 --> 00:54:30,743
CJ: What happened?

1121
00:54:30,777 --> 00:54:33,080
I didn't do anything wrong,
and he just told me
to do all my chores.

1122
00:54:33,113 --> 00:54:36,283
But, but, I shouldn't
be telling...

1123
00:54:39,319 --> 00:54:41,054
WOMAN 2: He's back there?

1124
00:54:41,088 --> 00:54:43,856
‐NINA: I have to go.
‐Where you going, love bug?

1125
00:54:43,890 --> 00:54:46,593
I'm going with Daddy
to pick up Ella.

1126
00:54:46,626 --> 00:54:48,895
‐This son of a bitch.
‐We need to bring my baby.

1127
00:54:48,929 --> 00:54:50,763
‐Yeah.
‐I can be there tomorrow.

1128
00:54:50,797 --> 00:54:54,067
CJ: Yeah, dude,
I need you to get my baby.

1129
00:54:54,101 --> 00:54:55,802
‐Is he working?
‐What the hell is he
talking about?

1130
00:54:55,835 --> 00:54:58,105
Now he's trying to yell at me.
We're about to have a fight.

1131
00:54:59,339 --> 00:55:01,308
‐Don't.
‐He just texted me,

1132
00:55:01,341 --> 00:55:03,210
[IMITATING MAN'S VOICE]
"It'd be nice if you answer
my fucking phone calls,"

1133
00:55:03,243 --> 00:55:06,146
and I'm like, "Uh, first of all,
I have no missed calls
on my phone."

1134
00:55:06,179 --> 00:55:08,081
‐I didn't hear it ring.
‐I didn't hear it ring.

1135
00:55:08,115 --> 00:55:10,617
I just called him and he didn't
answer the phone.

1136
00:55:10,650 --> 00:55:14,387
So when he got tired of working
that job that he didn't like,

1137
00:55:14,421 --> 00:55:17,057
I said, "Quit." I said,
"I'm in a position right now

1138
00:55:17,090 --> 00:55:19,960
"where you know,
I can take care of things."

1139
00:55:19,993 --> 00:55:23,496
And so he quit, and then
he did not get off the ground

1140
00:55:23,530 --> 00:55:25,732
the things he wanted
to get off the ground.
And it was like,

1141
00:55:25,765 --> 00:55:28,936
the more successful I got
and the less successful he got,

1142
00:55:28,969 --> 00:55:31,271
the more he just resented me.

1143
00:55:31,304 --> 00:55:33,906
You know, little by little,
he's just not at home.

1144
00:55:33,941 --> 00:55:36,643
And then all of a sudden,
it's like I'm doing everything.

1145
00:55:36,676 --> 00:55:38,078
‐I'm...
‐You're super mom.

1146
00:55:38,111 --> 00:55:40,480
I'm super mom and I'm still
trying to have my career.

1147
00:55:40,513 --> 00:55:42,349
I'm still trying
to have my life,

1148
00:55:42,382 --> 00:55:44,617
and, and I couldn't do it.

1149
00:55:44,651 --> 00:55:46,019
I couldn't do it.

1150
00:55:46,053 --> 00:55:49,022
And he just took
whatever he could
from me, you know.

1151
00:55:49,056 --> 00:55:51,424
Now I don't have,
I haven't written a book

1152
00:55:51,458 --> 00:55:54,527
in like, you know, two years.

1153
00:55:55,695 --> 00:55:57,230
My money is spent.

1154
00:56:05,538 --> 00:56:09,109
KRISTEN: Release days are still
hard for me to get excited

1155
00:56:09,142 --> 00:56:10,677
because he made it so horrible.

1156
00:56:14,681 --> 00:56:15,983
There it is.

1157
00:56:18,919 --> 00:56:19,987
Right there.

1158
00:56:22,322 --> 00:56:25,058
DIRECTOR: You know,
a big reason for going
with a traditional publisher

1159
00:56:25,092 --> 00:56:27,627
was that you get access
to readers. New readers.

1160
00:56:27,660 --> 00:56:29,029
Mmm‐hmm.

1161
00:56:29,062 --> 00:56:31,664
Have you gotten a sense
that goal has been achieved?

1162
00:56:31,698 --> 00:56:32,665
Um...

1163
00:56:34,234 --> 00:56:37,470
Some. Not as many
as I expected.

1164
00:56:37,504 --> 00:56:40,007
I think I brought
more readers with me

1165
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,875
to the new series
than the other way around.

1166
00:56:43,710 --> 00:56:44,844
Um...

1167
00:56:48,081 --> 00:56:50,717
So... I didn't see
that for myself.

1168
00:56:50,750 --> 00:56:52,319
I think that other authors do.

1169
00:56:52,352 --> 00:56:57,190
But... it wasn't my experience
that I gained a lot of new fans.

1170
00:56:59,192 --> 00:57:01,494
Introducing a new series
is really tricky,

1171
00:57:01,528 --> 00:57:04,597
because they already trust you
with what you've already done.

1172
00:57:04,631 --> 00:57:07,234
And I've had some success
with the Seattle stuff,

1173
00:57:07,267 --> 00:57:09,669
and now I'm begging people
to read something again.

1174
00:57:09,702 --> 00:57:12,072
It just makes my release day
a little more stressful.

1175
00:57:12,105 --> 00:57:15,275
Truly, the Big Sky releases
have been more stressful

1176
00:57:15,308 --> 00:57:17,911
than the Seattle books.

1177
00:57:17,945 --> 00:57:21,014
But also a Seattle,
those are me.

1178
00:57:21,048 --> 00:57:25,185
If they don't do well,
it's all on me
and it would suck.

1179
00:57:25,218 --> 00:57:27,420
But, you know...

1180
00:57:27,454 --> 00:57:30,257
I am representing
Simon & Schuster
and Pocket books

1181
00:57:30,290 --> 00:57:32,625
with The Big Sky series.

1182
00:57:32,659 --> 00:57:35,628
And so, for that reason too,
I want them to do very well.

1183
00:57:35,662 --> 00:57:37,931
And, um, I worry
that they won't.

1184
00:57:45,072 --> 00:57:47,607
[TYPING]

1185
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,077
‐[CELL PHONE RINGING]
‐Oh, here's K. P.

1186
00:57:51,844 --> 00:57:53,580
K.P. SIMMON: [ON PHONE]
So Amazon, 118,

1187
00:57:53,613 --> 00:57:57,550
and Barnes & Noble is still 26.

1188
00:57:57,584 --> 00:57:59,286
KRISTEN: So we're not doing bad.

1189
00:57:59,319 --> 00:58:03,223
‐No.
‐I'd really like to get into
the top 100 today.

1190
00:58:03,256 --> 00:58:05,658
KRISTEN: If you get
into the top 100,

1191
00:58:05,692 --> 00:58:07,494
more people are gonna
see your book.

1192
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:09,796
The more people that see it,
the more people
that are gonna buy it,

1193
00:58:09,829 --> 00:58:11,498
and click on it.
And that will keep it up there.

1194
00:58:11,531 --> 00:58:14,301
So, it will just keep
perpetuating sales.

1195
00:58:14,334 --> 00:58:15,969
And if you fall below that,

1196
00:58:16,003 --> 00:58:18,238
you're really sort of
in the swamp
with everybody else,

1197
00:58:18,271 --> 00:58:20,440
where you're sort of invisible.

1198
00:58:32,953 --> 00:58:35,355
‐Hello?
‐Hey, how are you?

1199
00:58:35,388 --> 00:58:37,290
Hi. Hi.

1200
00:58:38,291 --> 00:58:39,659
Hi, little doggie.

1201
00:58:40,693 --> 00:58:42,729
‐Hi, sweetie. Hi. Thanks.
‐Come on in.

1202
00:58:45,298 --> 00:58:47,834
‐You want some wine?
‐Yes, please.

1203
00:58:47,867 --> 00:58:51,604
KELLI: I've been told
that the readers
are going more dark.

1204
00:58:51,638 --> 00:58:53,340
You know, darker, dirtier.

1205
00:58:53,373 --> 00:58:55,175
That's what they want now.

1206
00:58:55,208 --> 00:58:58,946
So, um, I'm like, okay,
I can do that, you know?

1207
00:58:58,979 --> 00:59:01,681
So are you excited about,
um, Lilith?

1208
00:59:02,649 --> 00:59:04,851
Yeah, um, you know,
it's Monday,

1209
00:59:04,884 --> 00:59:08,455
so that'll be exciting. Um...

1210
00:59:08,488 --> 00:59:11,058
A little nervous.
It's different from anything
I've done before.

1211
00:59:11,091 --> 00:59:14,661
It's darker and dirtier
and so.

1212
00:59:14,694 --> 00:59:16,129
‐Psychopathic.
‐We'll see.

1213
00:59:16,163 --> 00:59:18,331
‐Yes, she's right. She edited.
‐Psychopathic?

1214
00:59:18,365 --> 00:59:19,899
Carol edited it for me.

1215
00:59:19,933 --> 00:59:21,401
‐Okay.
‐Yeah. I mean...

1216
00:59:22,535 --> 00:59:24,804
...you know, there's,
there's fear that,

1217
00:59:24,837 --> 00:59:26,506
um, you know,

1218
00:59:26,539 --> 00:59:30,143
my kids in Catholic school
will have some repercussions
if people

1219
00:59:30,177 --> 00:59:31,912
read this book,
'cause it's not a romance.

1220
00:59:31,945 --> 00:59:33,380
‐It's...
‐Right.

1221
00:59:33,413 --> 00:59:35,382
‐You know, it's bad stuff.
‐Mmm‐hmm.

1222
00:59:35,415 --> 00:59:37,417
It's about a guy,

1223
00:59:37,450 --> 00:59:39,852
who's in a motorcycle club
who kidnaps women,

1224
00:59:39,886 --> 00:59:43,023
and trains them to be sold
into the sex trade.

1225
00:59:43,056 --> 00:59:46,093
‐Ah!
‐In, uh, Mexican cartels.

1226
00:59:47,794 --> 00:59:49,062
‐[SIGHS]
‐[ALL LAUGHS]

1227
00:59:49,096 --> 00:59:50,530
I'm saying that with a smile.

1228
00:59:52,299 --> 00:59:54,867
So pushing... published
will be interesting.

1229
00:59:54,901 --> 00:59:57,704
‐It'll be like...
‐CAROL: See what happens.

1230
00:59:57,737 --> 01:00:00,240
‐Yeah, we'll see.
‐Yeah, yeah.

1231
01:00:00,273 --> 01:00:01,574
That's so exciting.

1232
01:00:02,109 --> 01:00:04,377
Yeah, it's...

1233
01:00:04,411 --> 01:00:08,081
Yeah, that's interesting.
It's, you know, different, so.

1234
01:00:08,115 --> 01:00:09,582
What do you like to write?

1235
01:00:09,616 --> 01:00:12,285
I like writing... I don't know.

1236
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:17,624
We know that you've got
to cut your losses
at some point.

1237
01:00:17,657 --> 01:00:20,027
‐Mmm‐hmm.
‐Here it's not time
to cut yours.

1238
01:00:20,060 --> 01:00:21,128
So forget that.

1239
01:00:21,161 --> 01:00:22,462
‐Oh, we will see.
‐No.

1240
01:00:22,495 --> 01:00:24,297
I agree with her
that you need to get out there.

1241
01:00:24,331 --> 01:00:25,933
But here's the thing,

1242
01:00:25,966 --> 01:00:27,600
you're looking
at profits and losses,
you know what I mean?

1243
01:00:27,634 --> 01:00:29,136
If I'm spending
all this time travelling

1244
01:00:29,169 --> 01:00:30,938
‐and this money travelling...
‐Yeah, that's a good point.

1245
01:00:30,971 --> 01:00:34,041
‐...I've gotta make up for it.
‐It's like an age‐old adage.

1246
01:00:34,074 --> 01:00:36,143
‐You've got to...
‐What you put in,
you're gonna get out.

1247
01:00:36,176 --> 01:00:39,379
‐Yeah, yeah.
‐I know, but what if you
don't get it out?

1248
01:00:39,412 --> 01:00:40,780
WOMAN 1: You're already
in a rut.

1249
01:00:40,813 --> 01:00:42,582
CAROL: You've got to
spend money to make money.

1250
01:00:42,615 --> 01:00:44,551
I've done that.
It's not happening.

1251
01:00:44,584 --> 01:00:46,954
This one needs to happen.
You have to keep being
Kelli Maine,

1252
01:00:46,987 --> 01:00:48,888
keep making money,
keep having readers,

1253
01:00:48,922 --> 01:00:51,224
and then... every six months,

1254
01:00:51,258 --> 01:00:52,292
put out something
in young adult,

1255
01:00:52,325 --> 01:00:54,261
'cause that's what
makes you happiest.

1256
01:00:54,294 --> 01:00:56,129
You can't just write
and put books out,

1257
01:00:56,163 --> 01:00:57,630
you've gotta get it
into the promotion,

1258
01:00:57,664 --> 01:00:58,999
you've gotta get it
into the social media,

1259
01:00:59,032 --> 01:01:00,333
you've gotta get it in
with the bloggers,

1260
01:01:00,367 --> 01:01:02,769
you've gotta... there's just...

1261
01:01:02,802 --> 01:01:04,404
it's overwhelming.

1262
01:01:04,437 --> 01:01:05,973
[DIRECTOR SPEAKING]

1263
01:01:08,942 --> 01:01:12,512
Sometimes I regret it
because, I mean,
I can't regret it.

1264
01:01:12,545 --> 01:01:14,314
I have this house
because I went down there.

1265
01:01:14,347 --> 01:01:16,016
I have my car
because I went down there.

1266
01:01:16,049 --> 01:01:17,985
I mean, I've been able
to do things

1267
01:01:18,018 --> 01:01:20,921
because, um, you know,
I got one... I got lucky,

1268
01:01:20,954 --> 01:01:22,455
I got one big payday out of it.

1269
01:01:22,489 --> 01:01:24,691
Basically, I'm
at the point where

1270
01:01:24,724 --> 01:01:27,460
I need to decide,
just decide for myself

1271
01:01:27,494 --> 01:01:30,163
where to go from here,
which path I wanna take,

1272
01:01:30,197 --> 01:01:31,932
and who...
what writer I wanna be

1273
01:01:31,965 --> 01:01:34,501
and what I wanna write.

1274
01:01:34,534 --> 01:01:36,336
I think if I stop now,

1275
01:01:36,369 --> 01:01:38,438
it's like admitting that
I failed at this.

1276
01:01:38,471 --> 01:01:40,507
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

1277
01:02:05,732 --> 01:02:08,335
[CHUCKLES]

1278
01:02:08,368 --> 01:02:09,769
[DIRECTOR SPEAKING]

1279
01:02:11,004 --> 01:02:13,673
Oh... good, nervous,

1280
01:02:13,706 --> 01:02:15,675
anxious, you know.

1281
01:02:15,708 --> 01:02:16,909
I think
it's the same every time,

1282
01:02:16,944 --> 01:02:19,212
I don't think it gets any...
any different,

1283
01:02:19,246 --> 01:02:21,281
you know, it's just, uh...

1284
01:02:21,881 --> 01:02:23,883
it's exciting,

1285
01:02:23,917 --> 01:02:26,253
but a little nerve‐wracking.
[LAUGHS]

1286
01:02:35,362 --> 01:02:37,364
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

1287
01:02:42,869 --> 01:02:45,538
[GIGGLES]

1288
01:02:45,572 --> 01:02:47,107
WOMAN 1: I'll ask you,
what do you recommend?

1289
01:02:47,140 --> 01:02:50,410
GLORYA: So, if you're looking
to like a dark erotic romance...

1290
01:02:50,443 --> 01:02:53,046
‐I read it all.
‐...CJ Roberts is your girl.

1291
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:56,183
Her mind is fucking... twisted.

1292
01:02:56,216 --> 01:02:59,086
Like, you know, dark erotica,
dark romance,

1293
01:02:59,119 --> 01:03:01,521
‐the girl gets kidnapped.
‐WOMAN 1: Oh, okay.

1294
01:03:01,554 --> 01:03:03,590
[LAUGHING]

1295
01:03:05,258 --> 01:03:08,195
‐Who should
I make it out to, hon?
‐Christina.

1296
01:03:08,228 --> 01:03:10,297
All right, Christina...

1297
01:03:12,065 --> 01:03:13,566
Okay, I have an author for you.

1298
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,936
CJ, tell her
about your books.

1299
01:03:15,969 --> 01:03:18,371
She likes reading true crime.
She's not a romance...

1300
01:03:18,405 --> 01:03:20,307
‐but tell her about Captive.
‐Oh, okay.

1301
01:03:20,340 --> 01:03:22,709
So, uh, kidnapping,

1302
01:03:22,742 --> 01:03:25,612
blood, guts, lots of sex,
and revenge!

1303
01:03:25,645 --> 01:03:28,081
‐[ALL LAUGHING]
‐Awesome.

1304
01:03:28,115 --> 01:03:31,618
CJ: I'm attracted
to power dynamics.

1305
01:03:31,651 --> 01:03:33,553
Like, probably because...

1306
01:03:33,586 --> 01:03:36,289
I have felt weak
in a lot of situations.

1307
01:03:36,323 --> 01:03:39,159
And, like, they said, like,
all rape fantasies anyway,

1308
01:03:39,192 --> 01:03:41,094
it's not about sex.
It's about power.

1309
01:03:41,128 --> 01:03:43,496
Growing up Catholic,
I feel like shame

1310
01:03:43,530 --> 01:03:46,266
and arousal
are like right in my pockets.

1311
01:03:51,804 --> 01:03:54,174
GARCIA: [NARRATING]
"He kissed down my chest

1312
01:03:54,207 --> 01:03:56,809
"holding my knees apart.

1313
01:03:56,843 --> 01:04:00,680
"Stop! Stop...

1314
01:04:01,648 --> 01:04:04,484
"The first objection was real.

1315
01:04:04,517 --> 01:04:07,620
"The second one...
I wasn't sure.

1316
01:04:08,788 --> 01:04:10,757
"His mouth latched
onto my nipple,

1317
01:04:10,790 --> 01:04:12,792
"to the fabric of his shirt.

1318
01:04:12,825 --> 01:04:14,827
"Somehow more excruciating

1319
01:04:14,861 --> 01:04:17,530
"because he couldn't quite
get to me.

1320
01:04:17,564 --> 01:04:19,933
"He sucked harder,

1321
01:04:19,967 --> 01:04:22,469
"making my nipple hard,

1322
01:04:22,502 --> 01:04:25,338
"wet and hot.

1323
01:04:25,372 --> 01:04:29,776
"I have sighed and groaned,
unable to resist

1324
01:04:29,809 --> 01:04:32,479
"tilting my head back
against the carpet,

1325
01:04:32,512 --> 01:04:34,047
"eyes closed,

1326
01:04:34,081 --> 01:04:36,816
"falling into sensations
I had never felt before.

1327
01:04:38,751 --> 01:04:40,487
"You don't hate me at all.

1328
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:44,057
"I think you like me just fine.

1329
01:04:44,091 --> 01:04:46,193
"I was crying.

1330
01:04:46,226 --> 01:04:49,896
"But it wasn't
for the right reasons.

1331
01:04:49,930 --> 01:04:53,300
"I think I know
something else you might like.

1332
01:04:53,333 --> 01:04:57,670
"His hands and his mouth
trailed down my body.

1333
01:04:57,704 --> 01:05:00,673
"And though I knew
I should...

1334
01:05:00,707 --> 01:05:04,844
"I couldn't bring myself
to say anything against it.

1335
01:05:04,877 --> 01:05:07,981
"He was gonna do
what he wanted,

1336
01:05:08,015 --> 01:05:10,750
"whether I protested or not.

1337
01:05:10,783 --> 01:05:14,054
"Would it be so horrible
if I did nothing?

1338
01:05:14,087 --> 01:05:16,523
"Could I be held to blame?

1339
01:05:16,556 --> 01:05:19,759
"My eyes shot open
and I sat up...

1340
01:05:19,792 --> 01:05:23,263
"as soon as his hot mouth
covered my sex.

1341
01:05:23,296 --> 01:05:27,234
"He looked up and grabbed
the collar around my neck,

1342
01:05:27,267 --> 01:05:32,005
"kissing me with fury
before pushing me back down.

1343
01:05:32,039 --> 01:05:33,673
"Shocked...

1344
01:05:33,706 --> 01:05:36,443
"I twisted from side to side...

1345
01:05:36,476 --> 01:05:39,079
"crying and grunting."

1346
01:05:43,383 --> 01:05:45,218
DIRECTOR:
Is there a sense

1347
01:05:45,252 --> 01:05:47,854
when you're reading
these darker things,

1348
01:05:47,887 --> 01:05:50,991
like, oh, I shouldn't be
enjoying this, but I am?

1349
01:05:52,592 --> 01:05:54,995
Yeah, it's...

1350
01:05:56,129 --> 01:05:58,966
There is.
Because it's, like, you know,

1351
01:05:58,999 --> 01:06:02,635
when a character gets raped,

1352
01:06:02,669 --> 01:06:06,773
um, or there is
any type of abuse,

1353
01:06:06,806 --> 01:06:08,708
physical or anything...

1354
01:06:08,741 --> 01:06:12,079
For me, yeah, I do get
extremely emotional,

1355
01:06:12,112 --> 01:06:14,047
and think, you know,

1356
01:06:14,081 --> 01:06:16,083
how can I even
continue reading this?

1357
01:06:16,116 --> 01:06:18,085
And why am I enjoying the story?

1358
01:06:18,118 --> 01:06:20,988
We know that the hero
loves the woman all along,

1359
01:06:21,021 --> 01:06:23,924
we the readers.
Even if the heroine is confused.

1360
01:06:23,957 --> 01:06:25,792
And that's absolutely crucial.

1361
01:06:25,825 --> 01:06:29,262
Um, so that
any kind of aggression

1362
01:06:29,296 --> 01:06:32,499
that he, uh,
exhibits towards her

1363
01:06:32,532 --> 01:06:35,168
or meanness, any kind of pain
that he inflicts,

1364
01:06:35,202 --> 01:06:36,769
is always
in the service of love.

1365
01:06:36,803 --> 01:06:38,905
So I think
the business of rape fantasy,

1366
01:06:38,939 --> 01:06:41,008
it has to be seen as fantasy,

1367
01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:44,444
as something that is not, like,

1368
01:06:44,477 --> 01:06:47,747
what you wish would happen
directly to you.

1369
01:06:47,780 --> 01:06:49,582
There is this perception

1370
01:06:49,616 --> 01:06:52,319
that romance readers
are not able

1371
01:06:52,352 --> 01:06:55,655
‐to separate their worlds.
‐No. No.

1372
01:06:55,688 --> 01:06:58,758
We do not understand
the difference
between a book and real life.

1373
01:06:58,791 --> 01:07:01,094
‐Well, our tiny, tiny brains
can't do it.
‐Can't handle it.

1374
01:07:01,128 --> 01:07:04,131
I think what happens is that,
if you buy into that fantasy,

1375
01:07:04,164 --> 01:07:06,199
it puts you at risk

1376
01:07:06,233 --> 01:07:08,468
of being a victim
of a perpetrator.

1377
01:07:08,501 --> 01:07:11,171
If this is what you think
romance looks like...

1378
01:07:11,204 --> 01:07:12,839
Because we don't have
two brains,

1379
01:07:12,872 --> 01:07:14,874
one marked "fantasy,"
one marked "reality,"

1380
01:07:14,907 --> 01:07:18,178
you know, we process information
with the same brain

1381
01:07:18,211 --> 01:07:20,547
that's fantasy, that's reality,
that's imaginary,

1382
01:07:20,580 --> 01:07:23,550
and it all gets, sort of,
mushed up into experience.

1383
01:07:23,583 --> 01:07:26,519
This is an ideology,
this is patriarchy.

1384
01:07:26,553 --> 01:07:28,155
We need... We can do
better than this.

1385
01:07:28,188 --> 01:07:30,290
You know what?
We can do a hell of a lot better

1386
01:07:30,323 --> 01:07:32,059
than what patriarchy hands us.

1387
01:07:32,092 --> 01:07:35,128
To kinda try to view sex
as something that we can...

1388
01:07:35,162 --> 01:07:37,830
We can take away... apart

1389
01:07:37,864 --> 01:07:41,034
from power, aggression,
submission,

1390
01:07:41,068 --> 01:07:44,671
all of those questions, I just,
I... I think it's both,

1391
01:07:44,704 --> 01:07:47,540
um, kind of,
ridiculously utopian

1392
01:07:47,574 --> 01:07:49,909
and also, sort of, awful.

1393
01:07:49,943 --> 01:07:51,311
For me, it was like,

1394
01:07:51,344 --> 01:07:53,680
to overcome that
repressed sexuality

1395
01:07:53,713 --> 01:07:56,149
where, yeah, someone
will just barge into your life,

1396
01:07:56,183 --> 01:07:58,551
um, and, give you

1397
01:07:58,585 --> 01:08:00,887
what you didn't even know
you needed.

1398
01:08:00,921 --> 01:08:04,591
Um, which is, I think,
for women, a big fantasy.

1399
01:08:04,624 --> 01:08:07,194
Not... not the rape,
not the nonconsensual,

1400
01:08:07,227 --> 01:08:10,863
not really the real life
elements of these things,

1401
01:08:10,897 --> 01:08:13,066
but the undertone
of these things

1402
01:08:13,100 --> 01:08:14,767
which is...

1403
01:08:14,801 --> 01:08:18,738
I want... I want to be
explosive about my sexuality,

1404
01:08:18,771 --> 01:08:20,673
but I don't wanna
have to own it.

1405
01:08:20,707 --> 01:08:24,544
It is a way for us to take hold
of our sexuality,

1406
01:08:24,577 --> 01:08:26,046
to be able to read these books,

1407
01:08:26,079 --> 01:08:27,780
and have these
dark things happen.

1408
01:08:27,814 --> 01:08:33,120
And a lot of what we see
in our violent culture of rape,

1409
01:08:33,153 --> 01:08:37,290
and being cat called
and hollered and objectified...

1410
01:08:37,324 --> 01:08:39,759
imprints on us and is actually
what we like to see

1411
01:08:39,792 --> 01:08:42,362
acted out in our fantasies
where we have control of it,

1412
01:08:42,395 --> 01:08:44,597
and we have control
of what happens to us,

1413
01:08:44,631 --> 01:08:47,968
and we can change it and make it
not scary in our book.

1414
01:08:48,001 --> 01:08:51,571
But women that were survivors
of sexual abuse email me a lot

1415
01:08:51,604 --> 01:08:53,906
and they go, "You know what?
I read your stuff,
and I really loved it.

1416
01:08:53,941 --> 01:08:56,809
"And I just wanted to say, like,
I had this experience.

1417
01:08:56,843 --> 01:08:59,079
"And I have
all of these fantasies

1418
01:08:59,112 --> 01:09:00,580
"that I don't know
what to do with

1419
01:09:00,613 --> 01:09:01,881
"because it's so taboo,

1420
01:09:01,915 --> 01:09:03,550
"because people
are gonna shame you."

1421
01:09:03,583 --> 01:09:05,818
I felt like something
that was a part of me

1422
01:09:05,852 --> 01:09:07,154
was finally talked about.

1423
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,727
When I started
writing this story,

1424
01:09:14,761 --> 01:09:17,164
I wrote it...
I wrote it for myself,

1425
01:09:17,197 --> 01:09:18,898
because I...

1426
01:09:18,932 --> 01:09:21,468
I felt, maybe, like,
a lot of people in this room,

1427
01:09:21,501 --> 01:09:23,403
like, there are some things
about me

1428
01:09:23,436 --> 01:09:25,672
that I can never share
with anyone.

1429
01:09:25,705 --> 01:09:27,774
And the blank page...

1430
01:09:27,807 --> 01:09:30,477
is my diary, it's my canvas,

1431
01:09:30,510 --> 01:09:32,579
it's my friend.

1432
01:09:32,612 --> 01:09:36,483
And I wrote that story
for myself.

1433
01:09:36,516 --> 01:09:39,419
Um, there's
a piece of my heart in it

1434
01:09:39,452 --> 01:09:41,488
and a piece of my soul.

1435
01:09:41,521 --> 01:09:44,491
Though, what I love
about it the most is that...

1436
01:09:44,524 --> 01:09:46,126
you've accepted the piece of me

1437
01:09:46,159 --> 01:09:48,828
I thought I couldn't share
with anybody.

1438
01:09:48,861 --> 01:09:51,999
[SNIFFLING] And you have
loved me for it.

1439
01:09:52,032 --> 01:09:54,001
And when you guys
thank me for writing,

1440
01:09:54,034 --> 01:09:55,602
I just say, you know what?

1441
01:09:55,635 --> 01:09:57,137
I don't give a shit about that.

1442
01:09:57,170 --> 01:09:58,538
Thanks for reading it

1443
01:09:58,571 --> 01:10:01,774
and just thanks for taking me
as I am and as I come.

1444
01:10:01,808 --> 01:10:04,777
So, that's it. I'm very proud.
Thank you.

1445
01:10:04,811 --> 01:10:07,214
[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

1446
01:10:18,891 --> 01:10:20,593
DIRECTOR: Ready for take one.

1447
01:10:24,264 --> 01:10:26,399
So, just walk us through
what happened.

1448
01:10:26,433 --> 01:10:29,236
Um... Amazon said, "Uh,
we're not gonna put this up.

1449
01:10:29,269 --> 01:10:31,338
"This goes against
our content guidelines."

1450
01:10:31,371 --> 01:10:34,741
Um... which is actually
a kind of a relief,

1451
01:10:34,774 --> 01:10:37,910
because I don't really wanna
put it out anyway.

1452
01:10:37,945 --> 01:10:41,648
I don't know.
You know, I'm kind of...

1453
01:10:41,681 --> 01:10:43,850
at the point now
where, maybe,
this is a good place

1454
01:10:43,883 --> 01:10:45,718
to just kind of...

1455
01:10:45,752 --> 01:10:47,487
[LAUGHING]

1456
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:49,256
...ride off into the sunsets.

1457
01:10:49,289 --> 01:10:51,891
It's not fun, it's awful.

1458
01:10:51,925 --> 01:10:55,828
So, yeah,
this would probably be

1459
01:10:55,862 --> 01:10:59,232
a good place to just decide...

1460
01:10:59,266 --> 01:11:02,602
to not do this anymore.
[CHUCKLES]

1461
01:11:02,635 --> 01:11:04,371
I'm just done.

1462
01:11:24,157 --> 01:11:25,458
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

1463
01:11:25,492 --> 01:11:27,227
KRISTEN: Last night,
it was like...

1464
01:11:27,260 --> 01:11:28,929
nine‐hundred and something.

1465
01:11:28,962 --> 01:11:31,098
And I was kind of
disappointed in that.

1466
01:11:31,131 --> 01:11:32,933
INTERVIEWER: What's
the Amazon ranking?

1467
01:11:32,966 --> 01:11:35,802
Um, let's take a look.

1468
01:11:35,835 --> 01:11:38,038
We're in the top‐200.

1469
01:11:38,071 --> 01:11:40,607
Come Away with Me
peaked at about

1470
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:43,110
50, 60‐ish.

1471
01:11:43,143 --> 01:11:45,712
I've... I think the highest
I've been is three.

1472
01:11:45,745 --> 01:11:48,148
That's not gonna happen
with this book.

1473
01:11:51,818 --> 01:11:53,921
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

1474
01:11:55,788 --> 01:11:58,391
[GASPS] Number 99 on Amazon!

1475
01:11:58,425 --> 01:12:00,427
We broke the top‐100.

1476
01:12:00,460 --> 01:12:02,930
That's right. Yes!

1477
01:12:02,963 --> 01:12:05,265
And number 25
on Barnes & Noble.

1478
01:12:06,533 --> 01:12:08,568
Very nice.

1479
01:12:08,601 --> 01:12:09,902
My day is complete.

1480
01:12:09,937 --> 01:12:12,239
I can now rest easy.

1481
01:12:12,272 --> 01:12:14,007
I've an announcement
to make, people.

1482
01:12:14,041 --> 01:12:15,242
There's nothing
over here. Sorry.

1483
01:12:15,275 --> 01:12:17,277
‐Oh, it's real clogged up.
‐Um...

1484
01:12:17,310 --> 01:12:19,412
So, we already know
I'm number 84 on Amazon.

1485
01:12:19,446 --> 01:12:20,981
‐Right.
‐And number 21
on Barnes & Noble.

1486
01:12:21,014 --> 01:12:22,782
But my author rank moved up

1487
01:12:22,815 --> 01:12:25,218
from 43 to 40 on Amazon.

1488
01:12:26,519 --> 01:12:28,355
‐Yeah!
‐Yes!

1489
01:12:28,388 --> 01:12:30,623
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1490
01:12:30,657 --> 01:12:33,160
I'm gonna hold the...
I'm gonna hold this.

1491
01:12:35,628 --> 01:12:37,464
I was
a little on edge all day

1492
01:12:37,497 --> 01:12:39,632
and then I saw it
hit number 99,

1493
01:12:39,666 --> 01:12:41,134
and I took
a very visible breath.

1494
01:12:41,168 --> 01:12:43,536
It was like... [SIGHING] Okay.

1495
01:12:43,570 --> 01:12:44,704
Everything's gonna be okay.

1496
01:12:50,343 --> 01:12:53,513
I remember the first time
even reading your book.

1497
01:12:53,546 --> 01:12:56,183
And we were sitting on a couch,
remember it was at your house.

1498
01:12:56,216 --> 01:12:58,451
And you had handed it to me,
it was on your Kindle.

1499
01:12:58,485 --> 01:13:02,189
And you were like...
"Don't read
past this amount of pages."

1500
01:13:02,222 --> 01:13:04,024
‐[ALL LAUGHING]
‐"Don't go far."

1501
01:13:04,057 --> 01:13:05,825
At that time, I was like,
"I'm fine. I can read it."

1502
01:13:05,858 --> 01:13:07,995
"Are you sure?
I don't want you to read this,

1503
01:13:08,028 --> 01:13:11,631
"and then you look at me funny.
Just... Just read a few pages."

1504
01:13:11,664 --> 01:13:14,401
And then by the time
she went to go
put the laundry down,

1505
01:13:14,434 --> 01:13:17,004
and then she came back up,
I was already on chapter two.

1506
01:13:17,037 --> 01:13:19,839
And then she was like,
"I told you not to
read that much.

1507
01:13:19,872 --> 01:13:22,675
"Don't go that far."
Then she goes, "Lemme see.
What do you think?"

1508
01:13:22,709 --> 01:13:24,744
‐"What do you think?"
‐[ALL LAUGHING]

1509
01:13:24,777 --> 01:13:26,346
They're like, "Oh, my gosh,
she's so famous."

1510
01:13:26,379 --> 01:13:28,681
Like, who the hell is famous?
That's not her.

1511
01:13:28,715 --> 01:13:31,484
‐[ALL LAUGHING]
‐Who you talking to?

1512
01:13:31,518 --> 01:13:33,753
I think that shit
every time I'm cleaning
the cat box at home,

1513
01:13:33,786 --> 01:13:36,924
‐like, I'm so famous.
I'm so famous!
‐[ALL LAUGHING]

1514
01:13:36,957 --> 01:13:39,159
They're like, "Your sister
is famous, dude.
She writes books."

1515
01:13:39,192 --> 01:13:41,694
I'm like, "So what?
Shit... She wrote a book.

1516
01:13:41,728 --> 01:13:45,332
"She's not famous.
She don't have
a Hollywood story."

1517
01:13:45,365 --> 01:13:47,900
There's so much stories
within her mind

1518
01:13:47,935 --> 01:13:51,738
that she just hasn't put 'em
in the right direction yet.

1519
01:13:51,771 --> 01:13:53,573
But when she finds it...

1520
01:13:53,606 --> 01:13:55,842
um, I know it's gonna be
another hit.

1521
01:13:55,875 --> 01:13:59,579
Like, I always tell her, I wish
I could be you when I grow up.

1522
01:13:59,612 --> 01:14:00,847
Because in a way,

1523
01:14:00,880 --> 01:14:03,951
um, I mean,
we grew up together, both of us.

1524
01:14:03,984 --> 01:14:07,254
I was very young when I had her,
I was only 17‐years‐old
when I became a mother.

1525
01:14:07,287 --> 01:14:10,557
‐WOMAN 1: [WHISPERING] 16.
‐Well, 16, and the next month
I became 17.

1526
01:14:10,590 --> 01:14:13,560
That even with the one book,
even if she doesn't
write another book,

1527
01:14:13,593 --> 01:14:16,029
even though... she's already
left a mark,

1528
01:14:16,063 --> 01:14:19,066
and that's how I feel,
and I'm proud as hell,
and I'll always be.

1529
01:14:19,099 --> 01:14:20,600
Because she left a mark.

1530
01:14:20,633 --> 01:14:24,938
Every time I do something
or I'm gonna, like, come up,

1531
01:14:24,972 --> 01:14:28,775
some shit comes along to, like,
chop my legs out from under me.

1532
01:14:28,808 --> 01:14:30,643
‐But I'll...
‐JULIE: Yeah, I see that.

1533
01:14:30,677 --> 01:14:33,580
‐...I'll get there.
‐JULIE: I see that.
And I... And I hope that, uh,

1534
01:14:33,613 --> 01:14:35,782
it gets out there soon.
I think it's time.

1535
01:14:35,815 --> 01:14:38,751
I mean, shit, me too, man.
Me too. Damn it!

1536
01:14:45,192 --> 01:14:47,160
ALTER: I think
after Fifty Shades,

1537
01:14:47,194 --> 01:14:49,729
mainstream publishing
looks at romance

1538
01:14:49,762 --> 01:14:51,598
and romance readers
very differently.

1539
01:14:51,631 --> 01:14:55,068
I think beyond even
just the publishing industry,

1540
01:14:55,102 --> 01:14:57,737
the effect of those books
was to show

1541
01:14:57,770 --> 01:15:00,607
the... the range of,
of taste that

1542
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:02,442
mainstream audiences have.

1543
01:15:02,475 --> 01:15:05,112
It was much more
extreme and edgy

1544
01:15:05,145 --> 01:15:06,613
than anyone anticipated.

1545
01:15:06,646 --> 01:15:08,949
Nobody thought women would
go to bookstores and buy

1546
01:15:08,982 --> 01:15:10,617
a book about S&M,

1547
01:15:10,650 --> 01:15:12,819
you know, and, um,
and celebrate it.

1548
01:15:12,852 --> 01:15:14,922
I think because Fifty Shades...

1549
01:15:14,955 --> 01:15:16,589
because of the books

1550
01:15:16,623 --> 01:15:19,259
that were associated with it,
including mine,

1551
01:15:19,292 --> 01:15:22,629
I think women were like,
"Yeah, that turns me on.
I like it."

1552
01:15:22,662 --> 01:15:24,697
MODLESKI: Love has always
had to be there,

1553
01:15:24,731 --> 01:15:25,999
um, in the novels,

1554
01:15:26,033 --> 01:15:28,001
to legitimate

1555
01:15:28,035 --> 01:15:30,270
all the sex that...
that goes on,

1556
01:15:30,303 --> 01:15:32,505
um, however much
there happens to be

1557
01:15:32,539 --> 01:15:35,008
in any... in any given novel.

1558
01:15:35,042 --> 01:15:37,644
Um, so I think
the next step would be

1559
01:15:37,677 --> 01:15:39,879
and God knows
when it's gonna come,

1560
01:15:39,913 --> 01:15:41,881
is when women
just enjoy the sex

1561
01:15:41,915 --> 01:15:44,351
and forget about the love.

1562
01:15:44,384 --> 01:15:45,986
Maybe when my children
are grown up,

1563
01:15:46,019 --> 01:15:48,721
the books will be able to have
more women‐dominant

1564
01:15:48,755 --> 01:15:50,790
and maybe
that will be more accepted

1565
01:15:50,823 --> 01:15:53,994
and... and be the next phase
of things.

1566
01:15:54,027 --> 01:15:57,330
It's also just a function
of society,

1567
01:15:57,364 --> 01:15:59,632
devaluing things
that women like.

1568
01:15:59,666 --> 01:16:02,569
People always wanted to be
more complicated than that,

1569
01:16:02,602 --> 01:16:04,404
and it's really not,

1570
01:16:04,437 --> 01:16:06,239
where, especially
when we to try to explain, like,

1571
01:16:06,273 --> 01:16:07,474
it's just sexist.

1572
01:16:07,507 --> 01:16:09,676
It's not
that much more complicated.

1573
01:16:09,709 --> 01:16:11,744
It's just sexist.

1574
01:16:11,778 --> 01:16:13,880
They're like, oh,
there must be some other reason.

1575
01:16:13,914 --> 01:16:15,015
Mmm, not really.

1576
01:16:21,021 --> 01:16:23,356
DIRECTOR: What do you think
your life would look like now

1577
01:16:23,390 --> 01:16:25,592
if you had never written
Come Away with Me?

1578
01:16:27,294 --> 01:16:29,896
[SIGHING] Oh,
that makes me sad.

1579
01:16:29,930 --> 01:16:31,698
Like, the thought of that.

1580
01:16:33,300 --> 01:16:36,436
We can't go there right now.
[LAUGHS]

1581
01:16:41,474 --> 01:16:43,243
KRISTEN: I've hit
New York Times now,

1582
01:16:43,276 --> 01:16:45,612
which was the big goal.

1583
01:16:45,645 --> 01:16:47,580
But I'd love to hit
that number one slot.

1584
01:16:47,614 --> 01:16:50,450
I'd love to be invited
to sign books
with Nora Roberts.

1585
01:16:54,221 --> 01:16:55,688
It's been a wild‐ride,

1586
01:16:55,722 --> 01:16:57,624
but amazing.
I wouldn't change it.

1587
01:16:57,657 --> 01:17:00,027
Even the bad stuff,
I wouldn't have changed it.

1588
01:17:00,060 --> 01:17:03,563
I can't believe it's my life
most of the time.

1589
01:17:11,771 --> 01:17:14,274
‐I'm following you.
Let's go this way.
‐All right.

1590
01:17:14,307 --> 01:17:16,743
KELLI: Nothing against
the authors
that write this stuff.

1591
01:17:16,776 --> 01:17:19,079
They're writing things
that readers wanna read.

1592
01:17:19,112 --> 01:17:23,283
I'm the one that can't write
what readers wanna read
in the genre.

1593
01:17:23,316 --> 01:17:24,918
It's a dark place
when you realize

1594
01:17:24,952 --> 01:17:27,487
that it's you
that's holding yourself back.

1595
01:17:29,622 --> 01:17:32,926
I guess lottery winners win
one time in their life, right?

1596
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:35,328
[LAUGHING] So,
that's where I'm at:

1597
01:17:35,362 --> 01:17:37,297
post lottery.

1598
01:17:40,367 --> 01:17:44,904
Well, you get to the level
of your own fucking
self‐loathing and exhaustion

1599
01:17:44,938 --> 01:17:46,773
and then you're like,
that's it.

1600
01:17:46,806 --> 01:17:49,742
Get up and do something
before I hate you forever.

1601
01:17:49,776 --> 01:17:51,844
So, I'm getting up,
and I'm moving

1602
01:17:51,878 --> 01:17:53,013
before I hate myself forever.

1603
01:18:06,159 --> 01:18:07,427
CJ: When I put this book out,

1604
01:18:07,460 --> 01:18:09,329
I didn't want anyone to know
that it was me.

1605
01:18:09,362 --> 01:18:10,797
I just wanted
to put it out there.

1606
01:18:10,830 --> 01:18:13,866
Because it was the first time
that an entire...

1607
01:18:13,900 --> 01:18:16,703
group of people had been like...
"I see you."

1608
01:19:34,547 --> 01:19:37,850
♪ I'm on my way

1609
01:19:37,884 --> 01:19:40,353
♪ I'm on my way

1610
01:19:40,387 --> 01:19:42,555
♪ I'm on my way

1611
01:19:42,589 --> 01:19:44,424
♪ I'm on my way

1612
01:19:44,457 --> 01:19:46,626
♪ You're breaking my heart

1613
01:19:46,659 --> 01:19:49,963
♪ Yeah, that's just what I need

1614
01:19:49,997 --> 01:19:52,132
♪ I got a new start

1615
01:19:52,165 --> 01:19:55,435
♪ Yeah, that's just what I need

1616
01:19:55,468 --> 01:19:57,704
♪ I'm rising above

1617
01:19:57,737 --> 01:20:00,640
♪ The flood under my feet

1618
01:20:00,673 --> 01:20:03,276
♪ I'm moving on

1619
01:20:03,310 --> 01:20:05,878
♪ Yeah, that's just what I need

1620
01:20:05,913 --> 01:20:08,048
♪ Yeah, that's just what I need

1621
01:20:08,081 --> 01:20:12,953
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1622
01:20:12,986 --> 01:20:18,959
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1623
01:20:18,992 --> 01:20:24,164
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1624
01:20:24,197 --> 01:20:28,668
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1625
01:20:28,701 --> 01:20:31,004
♪ Shine a light in the dark

1626
01:20:31,038 --> 01:20:34,241
♪ Yeah, that's just
what you need

1627
01:20:34,274 --> 01:20:36,476
♪ Throw open your doors

1628
01:20:36,509 --> 01:20:39,512
♪ Yeah, that's just
what you need

1629
01:20:39,546 --> 01:20:42,115
♪ Maybe you broke me in two

1630
01:20:42,149 --> 01:20:45,285
♪ These legs still carry me

1631
01:20:45,318 --> 01:20:47,620
♪ I broke out of my chains

1632
01:20:47,654 --> 01:20:50,323
♪ The truth gonna set me free

1633
01:20:50,357 --> 01:20:52,425
♪ The truth gonna set me free

1634
01:20:52,459 --> 01:20:57,530
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1635
01:20:57,564 --> 01:21:02,936
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1636
01:21:02,970 --> 01:21:08,641
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1637
01:21:08,675 --> 01:21:13,981
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1638
01:21:16,917 --> 01:21:20,053
[VOCALIZING]

1639
01:21:33,266 --> 01:21:36,836
♪ Yeah, I'm on my way!

1640
01:21:36,869 --> 01:21:42,309
♪ I'm on my way
I'm on my way

1641
01:21:42,342 --> 01:21:44,978
♪ I'm on my way

1642
01:21:45,012 --> 01:21:47,747
♪ I'm on my way

1643
01:21:47,780 --> 01:21:50,650
♪ I'm on my way

1644
01:21:50,683 --> 01:21:53,486
♪ Yeah, I'm on my way!

1645
01:21:53,520 --> 01:21:56,189
♪ I'm on my way

1646
01:21:56,223 --> 01:21:59,392
♪ I'm on my way, yeah!

1647
01:21:59,426 --> 01:22:03,096
♪ I'm layin' it down
I'm layin' it down ♪