1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:06,541 --> 00:00:10,333 [spooky theremin music playing] 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:10,416 --> 00:00:11,375 [glass shatters] 5 00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:13,500 [carnival music playing] 6 00:00:13,583 --> 00:00:14,583 Terrific! 7 00:00:16,666 --> 00:00:19,958 [thunder rumbling] 8 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:28,250 [wind gusting] 9 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,083 -[alert buzzing] -[creaking] 10 00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:35,708 [man whistling melody] 11 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:46,166 [man] Special delivery for Mr. Loon E. Tunes. 12 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,041 [man snickers] 13 00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:50,708 Ah. 14 00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:52,458 All right. 15 00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:54,375 Catching some Z's, huh? 16 00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,833 Did you go pee-pee while you sleepy, huh? 17 00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:01,333 I heard you can't hold it in. 18 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,291 Hartman? 19 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,708 Hey, you quakin' in your boots? 20 00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:09,083 You better be, 'cause I'm your new attendant. 21 00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:10,791 The name's Hal L. 22 00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,000 And you're in my world now. 23 00:01:17,416 --> 00:01:19,041 [screams] Oh! 24 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,333 Psycho on the loose! 25 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,541 ["Monster Mash" playing] 26 00:01:26,625 --> 00:01:29,375 ♪ I was working in the lab Late one night ♪ 27 00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:33,166 ♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪ 28 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:36,708 ♪ For my monster from his slab Began to rise ♪ 29 00:01:36,791 --> 00:01:39,250 ♪ And suddenly to my surprise… ♪ 30 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,166 Good morning! 31 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,125 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 32 00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,291 -♪ He did the monster mash ♪ -♪ The monster mash… ♪ 33 00:01:44,916 --> 00:01:46,208 Halloween's upon us! 34 00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:48,041 ♪ He did the mash ♪ 35 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,750 ♪ It caught on in a flash… ♪ 36 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,666 [woman on radio] Hello, my witches and warlocks. 37 00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:53,625 It's your ghoulish DJ Aurora. 38 00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:54,875 [distorted sinister laughter] 39 00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:58,250 I hope you're ready for tomorrow night and all the spooky things that frighten. 40 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,208 [woman screaming] 41 00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:00,416 I know I am. 42 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:01,958 [kids laughing] 43 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:02,916 [grunts] 44 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Hey, you missed. The yolk's on you. 45 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,458 [kids grunting] 46 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:08,458 ♪ They did the mash… ♪ 47 00:02:08,541 --> 00:02:10,041 Thanks for the free breakfast. 48 00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:11,708 ♪ The monster mash ♪ 49 00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:15,125 -♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪ -♪ They did the mash… ♪ 50 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:16,750 Rocky Balboa style. 51 00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:18,416 [retching] 52 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,833 ♪ They did the monster mash… ♪ 53 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:23,166 I'm making the kids' costumes out of tinfoil 54 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:25,000 'cause I'm old-school, Teresa. 55 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,666 -Thanks! -[woman] Have fun! 56 00:02:27,916 --> 00:02:29,125 Violet Valentine. 57 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:44,708 [recorded sinister laughter] 58 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,750 ♪ It was a one-eyed, one-horned… ♪ 59 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:02,000 [woman] Have a happy Halloween tomorrow, Hubie. 60 00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:05,083 You, too, Mrs. Banerjee. I hope you get more tricks than treats. 61 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:09,583 -[Banerjee chuckles] -Okay. Number 59. Looking for 59. 62 00:03:11,375 --> 00:03:12,291 Yep! 63 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,083 Right here, Pubie. 64 00:03:16,041 --> 00:03:17,791 Give me a half-pound of roast beef. 65 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:19,291 Mr. Landolfa… 66 00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,708 [stammers] …Hubie. With an H. 67 00:03:21,791 --> 00:03:23,708 Not anymore. [laughs] 68 00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:24,791 [Hubie] Okay. 69 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,208 Mrs. Phillips, I'll be with you in a minute. 70 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,791 Is that the first girl you ever talked to, Pubie? 71 00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:33,250 Hey, no. I talk to my girlfriend all the time. 72 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:38,250 -I've never seen you with a girlfriend. -She is a Canadian resident of Canada. 73 00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:40,583 Uh, Canada Dry region. 74 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:43,083 [Landolfa laughing] 75 00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:45,541 Mr. O'Doyle. 76 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,666 Shouldn't you and your cohort be, uh, in school right now? 77 00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,750 -It's Sunday, dumbass. -[Hubie mutters] 78 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,000 [Landolfa] Know what? I don't want the roast beef. 79 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:57,083 -Give me some of the lamb's head. -Lamb's head? We don't have lamb's head. 80 00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:59,333 -No? What's that right there? -Which one? 81 00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,333 [shrieks] 82 00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:02,958 [screams] 83 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,083 [all laughing] 84 00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,000 Got ya! 85 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:08,166 It's fun working with you, always. 86 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:12,208 [oldies rock music playing] 87 00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:14,416 -[loud crash] -[man groans] 88 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,625 [laughing] 89 00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:17,666 That is a good one. 90 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,875 [rings, clicks] 91 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,375 Hey, you got Sergeant Downey. 92 00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:23,833 Hey, Steve. It's Kenny Fonda with the Westford PD. 93 00:04:23,916 --> 00:04:26,125 -How you doin' there, Kenny? -[Kenny] Good, buddy. Good. 94 00:04:26,208 --> 00:04:28,333 Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. 95 00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:31,041 We had someone escape from the psych ward up here. 96 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:32,833 A guy from your neck of the woods. 97 00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:33,750 Richard Hartman. 98 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,666 Wow, uh… 99 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,416 Richie Hartman's been locked up since Carter was president. 100 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,291 [Kenny] Yeah. Just thought you might wanna know 101 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:44,375 in case he gets sentimental for his hometown. 102 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:47,125 And didn't you testify against him, Steve? 103 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,708 He doesn't strike me as a forgive-and-forget type. 104 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,833 Yeah, but you know what? I hope he comes looking for me. 105 00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,416 'Cause he will be in a world of pain. 106 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,375 -Of pain-- -[loud slam] 107 00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,208 -[screams gibberish] -[Kenny chuckles] 108 00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,166 -[Kenny] What the hell? -I gotta go, Kenny. 109 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,166 -Hubie, what do you want? -Hey, Officer Steve. 110 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:10,291 I saw Andy O'Doyle buying suspiciously massive amount of eggs and toilet paper. 111 00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:13,416 -Not a crime to buy eggs or toilet paper. -Oh, yeah. That goes without saying. 112 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,291 But it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to deduce malicious intent. 113 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:20,458 -Okay. Yeah. -Lambardi's Pizza's doin' a sale tomorrow. 114 00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:24,500 One slice, one soda, one dollar, if you wear a costume to the shop. 115 00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:27,916 To me, that's a great deal, but it's also a riot waiting to happen. 116 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,875 Call the hotline. 117 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,250 I did call the hotline 100 times, 118 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,708 but I think you guys got a connection problem. 119 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,625 [phone rings] 120 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,458 -Salem PD. -Yes. Your officer, this is Hubie Dubo-- 121 00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:37,666 [Steve clears throat] 122 00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:41,083 -Hubie, get in here. -Okay. 123 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,958 -Bring it in here. Get in here. -What's up? 124 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,166 Now, it's Halloween. In Salem. 125 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:48,000 And I got a lot of real issues on my plate. 126 00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,416 -[Hubie] I know. -[tires screech] 127 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,750 [Andy] Look who's here. 128 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:54,250 -[boy 1] Hubie! -[boy 2] Hubie! 129 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,250 -Do we do-- -Get out of here! 130 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,375 Over and out-- [thuds] 131 00:05:59,041 --> 00:05:59,875 [clicks] 132 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:01,750 -[boys clamoring] -[Andy] Guys, let's get him! 133 00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:04,333 [boys shouting] Come on! Come on! 134 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:07,583 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 135 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:11,166 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 136 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,375 [boys shouting, taunting] 137 00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,875 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 138 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:15,833 [boy 1] Eat some shit! 139 00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,000 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 140 00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:20,000 -[boys laughing] -[boy 2] Catch this! 141 00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:24,041 -[boy 1] Go! -[boys taunting, laughing] 142 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,875 ♪ Trick-or-treat Sing the song with us... ♪ 143 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,083 Snitch. 144 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,416 -[grunts] -[thuds] 145 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,375 [Hubie] Why? 146 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:32,958 [boys laughing, shouting] 147 00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:34,875 [boy 3] He flew like 25 feet! 148 00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:37,666 Well, hello, there. 149 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:39,375 You need a hand? 150 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,875 Boy, that was quite a tumble you took there, fella. 151 00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:46,833 Nope. That's-- 152 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,708 Nothing broken, physically speaking. 153 00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,875 Well, it's not right what those hooligans did. 154 00:06:51,958 --> 00:06:55,125 We gotta expect a scare here or there. Kids being kids. 155 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:58,958 -Oh, say, that's some heck of a thermos. -[Hubie] Yeah, that's my baby. 156 00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:03,250 It's kind of like a Swiss Army thermos. I made it when I was in the Scouts. 157 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,333 Maybe you've had enough bike riding for one day. 158 00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:08,250 -How about if I give you a lift home? -You're not gonna have to drive far. 159 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,083 'Cause I live right over here. 160 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,458 Oh. 161 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:16,166 Wow. [chuckles] 162 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,125 Your kids must have helped you with all of this. 163 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:21,041 Oh, yeah, I don't have any kids. As far as I know. 164 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,250 [laughs] 165 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,666 No, I definitely don't. 166 00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,958 I do have a girlfriend. She lives up in Canada. 167 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:28,291 Northern section. Ontarionto. 168 00:07:28,375 --> 00:07:30,625 So, you probably couldn't find her up there. 169 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,916 -Ah. Look at those purple mums. -Mom planted those. 170 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:37,708 And you gotta love the old-school ghost you got working over there. 171 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,083 [Hubie] Yep. 172 00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:41,458 Scary ghost. Yes. 173 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,333 And looks like we're neighbors. 174 00:07:44,416 --> 00:07:46,625 'Cause I just moved in right there this morning. 175 00:07:46,708 --> 00:07:48,833 -[Hubie] You moved here? -I'm Walter Lambert. 176 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:50,250 Hubie Dubois. 177 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:52,166 It's a pleasure, Hubie. I'll tell you what. 178 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:55,708 I'm gonna invite you and Mom over for dinner once I get my kitchen set up, 179 00:07:55,791 --> 00:07:58,083 'cause I make the best chili east side of the Rockies. 180 00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,625 Ooh. My belly just said yes for the both of us. 181 00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:02,125 [farts] 182 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:04,416 And your butt just made some room. 183 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,875 They must've got loosened out of me with the landing. 184 00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,583 -It's-- it's fine. It's natural. -It is. 185 00:08:09,666 --> 00:08:10,541 -Yeah. -Thanks. 186 00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,875 Anyway, you take care, Hubie. All right? 187 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:15,166 -Yeah. -And have a happy Halloween. 188 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:16,541 Oh, and Hubie. 189 00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:19,375 If you ever hear some commotion 190 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,458 coming from my house, it's nothing to be concerned about. 191 00:08:22,541 --> 00:08:25,458 So, you don't need to come over and check on me or anything. 192 00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:27,500 In fact, it's important that you don't. 193 00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,375 Sure thing, Mr. Lambert. 194 00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:32,458 Walter. 195 00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:36,000 Hey, I'm home. 196 00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:39,458 -[shrieking laughter] -[Hubie screams] Ah! No! Ah! 197 00:08:39,541 --> 00:08:41,208 [skeleton warbles] 198 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,333 [woman] Did that darn skeleton frighten you again, Hubie? 199 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:48,291 No! I was just practicing yelling, Mom. Everything's good. 200 00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:52,875 Oh, dear boy. This town is making you so jittery. 201 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,291 It just breaks my heart. 202 00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:56,500 I'm fine. Is that a new shirt? 203 00:08:57,541 --> 00:09:01,250 Mrs. Banerjee and I went to the thrift store today. 204 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,791 Guess how much? Fifty cents! 205 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,791 "Boner donor?" Now, what does that even mean? 206 00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:10,000 Well, I think boner's another word for a mistake. 207 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:14,083 Like, I made a big boner in math class. 208 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:17,583 So, maybe boner donor means I donate mistakes. 209 00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:18,791 That makes sense. 210 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:22,958 I met the fellow who moved into the Andersons' house next door. 211 00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:25,208 Walter Lambert. Seemed like good people. 212 00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:27,333 -Oh, well, that's nice. -Yeah. 213 00:09:27,416 --> 00:09:29,666 Some improvement over those Andersons. 214 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,416 The way they used to toss firecrackers at you. 215 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,000 Oh, no. That was the Epsteins. 216 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,875 The Andersons used to throw garbage into my bedroom window. 217 00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:40,791 Well, who was it chased you around the yard with a tennis racket? 218 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:41,958 That was Dad. 219 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,750 God rest his soul. 220 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,833 -Oh, for sure. -[Mom] Cookies are done. 221 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:47,583 You wanna help me frost 'em? 222 00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,791 -Can I lick the spoon, or… -[Mom] Deal! 223 00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:50,708 Okay. 224 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:57,458 [chuckles] Now, I know that Halloween is very special to you, sweet boy. 225 00:09:57,541 --> 00:10:00,416 It's been your favorite holiday since you were knee-high. 226 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:05,958 Well, we're Jewish, so that eliminated Christmas and Easter and Ash Wednesday. 227 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:07,375 [grunts] 228 00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,041 -[jar pops] -[Mom exhales] 229 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:14,125 And I am so proud at how hard you work 230 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:18,166 to make sure that Halloween is safe and fun for everyone in this town. 231 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,291 I'm sensin' a big "but" coming. 232 00:10:20,375 --> 00:10:21,958 -But… -Okay. 233 00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:27,041 …this town is as full of bullies now as it ever was in the 1600s. 234 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,791 You have to learn to stand up for yourself. 235 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,458 I just get scared. 236 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:35,625 I know you do. 237 00:10:35,708 --> 00:10:37,083 We all get scared. 238 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:42,458 But this year, you're gonna have to find that bravery that's deep within you. 239 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:43,625 It's time. 240 00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:55,916 Ah, the good old days. 241 00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,958 When the town toughs only used to throw crab apples. 242 00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:08,125 Ah, Officer Steve. You always had it going on. 243 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:12,458 "Most likely to marry his pillow." Still don't get that one. 244 00:11:17,916 --> 00:11:19,166 "Most friendly." 245 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,833 "Most popular." 246 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:22,583 "Best looking." 247 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,500 The high school hat trick. 248 00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,166 Could not have happened to a nicer woman. 249 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,541 Maybe if I wasn't such a scaredy-cat like mom was sayin', 250 00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:37,875 I would have asked you out. 251 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:42,333 And the cutest couple would have been Violet and Hubie. 252 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,291 -[pounding] -[screams] 253 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:47,750 Monster! [screams] 254 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:50,291 [Mom] Hubie, what was that? 255 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,833 Sorry, Mom! I'll clean that up! 256 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,166 [Mom] Did you make a messy? 257 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,583 [Hubie] I said I would clean it up! It's not a big deal! 258 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:05,666 [Mom] What are you cleaning up? Did you have an accident? 259 00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:08,000 [Hubie] No! It wasn't an accident. 260 00:12:08,083 --> 00:12:09,750 [Mom] It was on purpose? 261 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:10,708 [Hubie] Mom! 262 00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,208 [trickling] 263 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:29,833 [Violet] Okay, kids, you can't have candy for breakfast, 264 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,083 but you can sprinkle some on top of your cereal. 265 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,458 -[girl 1] Yes! -[girl 2] Oh, yeah! 266 00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:37,000 [segment intro music playing] 267 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:39,500 Welcome back. You're Watching Wake Up Boston. 268 00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:43,250 And it's October 31st, which is a special day across the country, 269 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:48,041 but most especially in Salem, America's unofficial Halloween capital. 270 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,333 And it's gonna be a great day in Salem. Right, Jenna Thomas? 271 00:12:51,416 --> 00:12:54,708 Yes, Erin. Clear and a balmy 61 degrees. 272 00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:57,666 Ready for trick-or-treating and all the spooky stuff. 273 00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:00,125 Ooh! Get that candy, kids. 274 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:04,250 And now, Wake Up Boston's Tracy Phillips is live with the Mayor of Salem, 275 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:07,708 David Benson, and-- Tracy, you went with Harley Quinn, too? 276 00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:09,166 Sure did, Erin. 277 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:12,791 Only one day a year you get to show your ex what he's missin'. 278 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,125 Hey! 279 00:13:14,208 --> 00:13:15,833 You know it. Ooh! Ooh! 280 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,500 -Ooh! Ooh! -Yeah! 281 00:13:17,583 --> 00:13:20,291 So, Mayor Benson, the sun sets in eight short hours, 282 00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,958 but the spooky preparations are in full swing around here. 283 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,291 Indeed it is, Tracy. 284 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:29,625 As you can see, we're already setting up our world-famous Halloween parade. 285 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,583 And a few blocks over, we got a street fair. 286 00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:35,833 And you're expecting some pretty impressive crowds here this evening. 287 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:39,708 Oh, we're expecting over 70,000 people to visit Salem this evening. 288 00:13:39,791 --> 00:13:45,125 Well, I know where I'm gonna be tonight. Reporting from Salem, Tracy Phillips. 289 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:46,875 -Back to you, Erin. -[marching band playing] 290 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,125 -[Steve] Is this the way you found him? -[man] Yeah. 291 00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:52,541 And I was gonna take poor Peanut 292 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:55,750 to the Halloween Carnival tonight for the petting zoo. 293 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:58,875 But what kid would wanna pet a pig that look like that? 294 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,083 Did you hear anything or see anything unusual last night? 295 00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:05,458 Well, I woke up 'cause the animals sounded agitated, 296 00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:09,875 and then I heard poor Peanut make a God-awful squeal. 297 00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,958 [imitating squealing] 298 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,500 Squealin' like he was callin' for his daddy! 299 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,083 You know what I think done it? 300 00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:17,541 A werewolf. 301 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:21,583 Think you've been watching too many scary movies, Louise. 302 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:25,250 And I think you've been eating too many of your own boogers, Dan. 303 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:28,416 Oh, at least my mama don't stink the toilet up so bad, 304 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,166 we gotta get rid of the shower curtain. 305 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,416 Oh, you gonna bring up my mama in front of the police, huh? 306 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,916 Ain't nobody say nothin' 'bout your big-ass mama. 307 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,041 She come in the house and broke all the furniture. 308 00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:39,625 My mom wouldn't break up the furniture 309 00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:42,916 if you hadn't bought that cheap Ikea stuff and put it together with a butter knife! 310 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,000 Well, if I had a real man, then I wouldn't have to do it myself now, would I? 311 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,458 [Dan] Peanut's dead! 312 00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:49,166 We gonna eat Peanut tonight! 313 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,333 [crowd chattering] 314 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,958 [man] Look at these nerds. 315 00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:57,208 Unbelievable. You can say a lot of things about me, I was never a nerd. 316 00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:59,333 Hey, pimples! 317 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,875 Pubie! 318 00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,125 Pubie? Uh, who's-- who's Pubie? 319 00:15:04,208 --> 00:15:06,875 You are, Pubie. Landolfa called you that yesterday. 320 00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:07,958 Hilarious. 321 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,125 Janitor, some drunk guy dressed as Captain Underpants 322 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:13,083 just threw up in the jail exhibit. 323 00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:16,333 That's my cue. Call me if you get lonely, Violet. 324 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:17,750 Don't call me. 325 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:18,875 [groans] 326 00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:21,000 Wasn't plannin' on it. Hey, Dot. 327 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,541 So, I saw there were massive lines out front. 328 00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:27,208 I took the liberty to print up some happy Halloween word searches. 329 00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,541 You can pass it out to the kids. 330 00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:30,458 Give them something to do while they're waiting. 331 00:15:30,541 --> 00:15:31,750 Oh, Hubie, how lovely. 332 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,375 Thank you so much. 333 00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:34,291 Of course. 334 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,583 So, Violet Valentine. 335 00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,333 Good to see you. Happy Halloween. 336 00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:44,250 -Thank you. -What brings you here? 337 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,458 I am chaperoning my daughter's field trip. 338 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,083 She's over there. Danielle! Danielle! 339 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,416 Say hello to Hubie. 340 00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,750 Hi, Hubie. What school do you go to? 341 00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:56,416 No. He's a grown man. I've known him since kindergarten. 342 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,750 Yes. We had Miss Colestice's class together. 343 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,875 -Yes, we did. -You were the first kid to get earrings. 344 00:16:00,958 --> 00:16:01,875 [chuckles] I was. 345 00:16:01,958 --> 00:16:05,000 Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought 'cause of the thermos. 346 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,750 Oh, why? Do you want some soup? 347 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,083 -Uh, no, thanks. -Your friends? 348 00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:11,125 All right. It's here if you want it. 349 00:16:14,250 --> 00:16:16,083 -[laughing] What was that? -What was that about? 350 00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:20,416 What a nice young lady. I remember you just had a foster son. 351 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,250 Yeah. Well, I've got two foster daughters now as well. 352 00:16:23,666 --> 00:16:25,833 Huh. That's quite commendable. 353 00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:28,375 Looking out for the community. That's important. 354 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,541 Of course. That's my great-great-great-great-great grandmother. 355 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:35,000 She saw some bad things happening, but she spoke out. 356 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:37,000 Said there's no such thing as witches. 357 00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,625 -Very brave. -Yeah, maybe too brave. 358 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:42,708 'Cause they called her a witch and ended up like this fella. 359 00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,833 -[Violet] Ooh. -[Hubie] The unfortunate dangling Dave. 360 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,625 God, I love the way you phrase things. 361 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,000 Okay. 362 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:54,791 So, how are you and Officer Steve doing? I saw him yesterday in his squad car. 363 00:16:54,875 --> 00:16:58,041 We were talking shop. You know, code 10-4, 10-5. That kinda thing. 364 00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,250 Well, since we've been divorced four years, 365 00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,750 -I don't really know how he's doing. -Oh, well, don't lose faith. 366 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,583 You guys will get through this rough patch. 367 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:07,458 Did you hear about the Andersons? 368 00:17:07,541 --> 00:17:10,333 I met the fellow who moved into their home. A Walter Lambert. 369 00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:11,625 Seems like a decent guy. 370 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:13,166 -[Violet] Walter Lambert? -Yeah. 371 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:17,625 There's a Walter Lambert buried right near my grandpa in the Pine Street Cemetery. 372 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:18,541 Okay. 373 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:22,375 I only remember that name because there is something off about his tombstone. 374 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,250 -Off how? -Well, I know you, Hubie Dubois. 375 00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:26,750 -Mm-hmm. -You'll see. 376 00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,416 Okay. 377 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:35,375 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 378 00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:36,416 [women crying] 379 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:40,875 ♪ And everything I'd like to be? ♪ 380 00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:47,583 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle ♪ 381 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:53,375 ♪ 'Cause you are the wind Beneath my wings ♪ 382 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:58,750 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 383 00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:05,375 ♪ You're everything, everything I wish I could be ♪ 384 00:18:06,750 --> 00:18:12,625 ♪ I could fly higher than an eagle… ♪ 385 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:14,625 What is that fool doing here? 386 00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:15,583 No clue. 387 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:20,000 -You want me to kick his ass, Father? -Not yet. But stay close. 388 00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,708 [clicking] 389 00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,250 That concludes our service. 390 00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:31,083 The family has invited you all to a luncheon. 391 00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:32,875 [Hubie grunting] 392 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:37,416 A luncheon at the, uh, Captain's Table on Foster Street. Thank you. 393 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:43,916 He never died? 394 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,708 Boobie! What are you doing? 395 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:49,791 Nothing. What are you doing? 396 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:51,833 I'm officiating a funeral. 397 00:18:51,916 --> 00:18:53,000 On Halloween? 398 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,333 People die every day, dummy. They don't skip holidays. 399 00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,208 -Even April Fool's Day? -Shut it. 400 00:18:58,041 --> 00:19:00,625 And if you get dirt on my good funeral shoes again, 401 00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,291 I'm gonna bury one up your butt. 402 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,125 Okay. You want some soup? 403 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:05,708 No, I don't want some s-- 404 00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:08,291 -Good to wash off the dirt. -Here, let me help you. 405 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:10,291 Oh, is this-- 406 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,291 Condolences, by the way. 407 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:15,291 And I love the Wicked Witch costume. It's classic. 408 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,541 It's not a costume. 409 00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,291 Not a costume? Okay. My boner. 410 00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:21,708 [woman] Why he talk about his boner? 411 00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,458 Hello, Hubes. What did you do wrong? 412 00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:25,625 I don't think anything. 413 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:27,833 By the way, I wanted to say that I'm sorry 414 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,416 for my attitude yesterday at the deli counter. 415 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,666 [stammers] My dad, you know, he died unexpected, 416 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,083 and I just haven't been myself these past few days. 417 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,750 This is your dad's funeral? I'm so sorry. I didn't-- 418 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,458 My father passed away a couple of years ago. 419 00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,416 It is very painful. It's-- 420 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:47,708 -Ups and downs, emotionally. -Yeah. My dad was a serious man. 421 00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:51,541 He worked hard every single day of his life. 422 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,458 Mm-hmm. 423 00:19:52,541 --> 00:19:54,208 -But he did love to laugh. -Okay. 424 00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:56,875 And I know he would get a great chuckle out of this. 425 00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:57,833 [screams, thuds] 426 00:19:57,916 --> 00:20:01,000 [laughing maniacally] 427 00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:02,416 Have fun, Pubes. 428 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,458 [shouting in Italian] 429 00:20:04,541 --> 00:20:06,708 Ma! He's an idiota, deficiente! 430 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:08,791 Disrespectful? 431 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,000 No, this is good. 432 00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,625 We want him in the hole. 433 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:16,083 God would want this. 434 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:22,375 Somebody's down here! 435 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:24,708 Ah! The dead speak! 436 00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,416 -[thuds] -[Hubie] Oh, my soup! 437 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,708 [Aurora on radio] It's not even dark yet here in Salem, 438 00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:33,458 but the spooky vibes are gettin' heavy, baby. 439 00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,833 We'll get through it together here on… 440 00:20:35,916 --> 00:20:38,166 ♪ WCC8 ♪ 441 00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,208 [woman, in a spooky voice] Halloween central. 442 00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,500 [pounding] 443 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:44,416 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert. 444 00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:46,541 What are you up to? 445 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,375 Hubie. Yeah. 446 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:50,875 I wa-- 447 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,500 Last night, I thought I felt a little draft. So… 448 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:58,458 Yeah, that October wind will-- it'll sneak up on you. 449 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,083 Sure does. 450 00:21:02,458 --> 00:21:03,541 Say, Mr. Lambert. 451 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,083 How old are you? 452 00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:11,583 You mean in human years? 453 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:13,083 Yes. 454 00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:16,958 I don't really believe in keeping track of that kind of thing, Hubie. 455 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,666 You know, age is just a state of mind. 456 00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:23,875 That's why I played T-ball till I was 25. 457 00:21:24,958 --> 00:21:25,916 Hubie Dubois. 458 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,541 [school bell ringing] 459 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,166 I can't believe it's finally Halloween. 460 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,333 My parents got me a royal princess dress from the Disney Store. 461 00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,875 -Cooky, what are you gonna dress up as? -A robot. 462 00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:43,708 You should go as a girl who doesn't even know who her real parents are. 463 00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:45,625 Oh, that's who you are every day. 464 00:21:45,708 --> 00:21:46,708 [kids laugh] 465 00:21:46,791 --> 00:21:47,625 [woman] O'Doyle! 466 00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:49,416 -[pounds] -[Andy] Yes, Miss Taylor? 467 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:52,541 Maybe you should go as a butt-faced, red-haired piece of dog puke 468 00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:55,750 who's reading at a second-grade level even though he's 11. 469 00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:58,625 [kids laughing] Ooh! 470 00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:01,750 [man] Attention, first through sixth graders. 471 00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:05,625 We have a special presentation today in lieu of recess. 472 00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:08,166 [kids groaning] 473 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,541 Here again to talk about Halloween safety 474 00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:16,875 is Salem's Official Volunteer Halloween Helper, 475 00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:18,916 Hubert Dubois. 476 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:22,416 [Hubie muttering, warbling] 477 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:23,500 Oh, God. 478 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:30,750 [Hubie continues muttering, warbling] 479 00:22:31,625 --> 00:22:33,125 [girl] Are those pee stains? 480 00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,208 [kids giggling] 481 00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:39,791 Hello, Webster Elementary School. 482 00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,708 I am not a ghost, but I play one on TV. 483 00:22:46,791 --> 00:22:48,000 Just playing. 484 00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:52,208 My name is Hubie Dubois, and I am here to tell you that Halloween is fun, 485 00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:55,166 but we must stay out of the danger zone. 486 00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:59,333 [kids jeering, clamoring] 487 00:22:59,416 --> 00:23:01,208 Hey! Hey! Hey! 488 00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:04,083 Let him speak. He's a human being! 489 00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:11,500 Thank you, sir. I would like a word with you all. 490 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:13,041 And that word is… 491 00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:18,000 G-ghost? 492 00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:22,875 Ghost. Scary. But also the key to Halloween safety. 493 00:23:23,541 --> 00:23:24,375 The G. 494 00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:27,125 -What could the G stand for? -Go home? 495 00:23:27,791 --> 00:23:29,583 No. Give. 496 00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:33,041 Give to the less fortunate. Does anyone know what less fortunate is? 497 00:23:34,708 --> 00:23:36,666 -Yes, sir. -It means someone who needs help. 498 00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,375 Very good. What's your name? 499 00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:40,541 -Cooky. -Well, you're a smart cookie. 500 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:44,916 When I was young, I used to build a tower with all my candy. 501 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,666 And all the candy that was part of the tower before it collapsed, 502 00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,250 I would keep for myself. 503 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:54,416 The leftover candy, I would donate to the homeless shelter. 504 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,125 Is that where you live? 505 00:23:56,208 --> 00:23:57,041 Well, son-- 506 00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:58,708 [screaming] 507 00:23:58,791 --> 00:24:00,541 Burn him! 508 00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:02,625 -[crying] -Oh. 509 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:04,875 I'm sorry, son. I just-- 510 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,916 Please-- please don't cry. 511 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,041 [kids screaming, jeering] 512 00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:11,125 ♪ Happy Halloween ♪ 513 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,750 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween ♪ 514 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,625 ♪ Happy Halloween Happy Halloween… ♪ 515 00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:18,958 I feel bad for him. 516 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,625 Yeah. No, baby. He overstayed his welcome. 517 00:24:22,708 --> 00:24:26,708 [kids continue screaming, jeering] 518 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:32,750 We're out of food, I guess. Yeah? 519 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,000 [kids laughing] 520 00:24:38,166 --> 00:24:40,166 [entrance bell jangles] 521 00:24:41,541 --> 00:24:43,416 Hey. What can I get you guys? 522 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:46,541 Hi. Can I get a black coffee? 523 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:48,208 Coffee? 524 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:51,750 -Not hot chocolate? -Oh, I don't drink hot chocolate anymore. 525 00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,083 -You had one this morning. -Well, I quit. 526 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,750 Okay. Well, I'm gonna need to see some ID, freshman. 527 00:24:57,833 --> 00:24:59,916 [stammers] ID? I don't… 528 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,291 [chuckles] I'm just kidding. One black coffee. 529 00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:04,291 So, how'd you know I was a freshman? 530 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,750 Oh, I see you in the hallways 531 00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:08,708 and it's pretty obvious. What are you guys doing for Halloween? 532 00:25:08,791 --> 00:25:10,541 Well, I'm taking my sisters trick-or-treating. 533 00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,833 And my mom's at work, so I kind of run the house when she's gone. 534 00:25:14,375 --> 00:25:17,000 -So, you're not going to the party? -Yeah, I'm going. 535 00:25:17,541 --> 00:25:19,875 -Which party? -One manly black coffee. 536 00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,375 That's me. 537 00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:25,083 The big barn at Wallace Orchard. It's mostly juniors and seniors. 538 00:25:26,083 --> 00:25:31,208 Hmm. Yeah. Well, maybe after my mom comes home, I'll-- I'll try to swing by. 539 00:25:31,958 --> 00:25:33,125 Try hard. 540 00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:37,208 Did you suddenly get cool? 541 00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:39,666 -[coffee splashes] -[boy] Oops! 542 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:40,708 Sorry, freshman. 543 00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:42,750 Michael Mundi in the house! 544 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:44,666 It comes and goes. 545 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:48,583 [Aurora on radio] Well, all you witches and warlocks, the daylight is fading, 546 00:25:48,666 --> 00:25:52,375 and you know what that means. Halloween in Salem is in full effect. 547 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,083 Now, we have an old friend on the line, Hubie Dubie. 548 00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:57,500 [echoing] Hi, I like-- I wanna make a request, please? 549 00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:59,541 If you can play the theme song 550 00:25:59,625 --> 00:26:02,000 from the film Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. 551 00:26:02,083 --> 00:26:03,958 [Aurora] Hubie, you need to turn down your radio. 552 00:26:04,041 --> 00:26:06,625 -We talked about this before. -[echoing] I just keep hearing myself. 553 00:26:06,708 --> 00:26:08,625 -[Aurora] Hubie. -Okay, there it is. 554 00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:09,708 Thank you, Aurora. 555 00:26:09,791 --> 00:26:12,000 -[Aurora] Turn down the radio. -["Ghostbusters" playing] 556 00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:13,125 [echoing] Who is that? 557 00:26:13,208 --> 00:26:16,125 -[Aurora] Just hang up your phone. -[echoing] Please stop. 558 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,208 -That's not funny. -[Aurora] All good, baby, okay? 559 00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:20,333 -[Aurora] Thanks for calling. -[Hubie] Sit on it, pal. 560 00:26:20,416 --> 00:26:23,791 That man on the radio sounds like the guy who talked to us in the cafeteria today. 561 00:26:23,875 --> 00:26:28,708 Oh, did you get a Hubie Dubois Halloween safety talk? 562 00:26:28,791 --> 00:26:30,708 I think so. Is he a good guy? 563 00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:33,791 'Cause the whole school was throwing food and sharp objects at him. 564 00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:38,500 Hubie Dubois is probably the nicest guy in this town. 565 00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:40,041 Do you like him? 566 00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:42,583 No. He-- You know, he's just-- 567 00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:44,916 -He's the nicest. -You said this already. 568 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:48,750 Well, take it from me. Nice matters. 569 00:26:48,833 --> 00:26:50,166 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 570 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,583 [Aurora] The scariest night of the year has arrived, kiddies. 571 00:26:52,666 --> 00:26:54,708 [creature howling] 572 00:26:54,791 --> 00:26:58,791 It's gonna be a full moon, so the monsters will be out. 573 00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:02,000 I hope you've made all the necessary preparations. 574 00:27:03,750 --> 00:27:05,875 And have your costumes all picked out. 575 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,500 And watch out for all kinds of freaky things 576 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,500 that'll chill you to the bone. 577 00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,583 ["Ghostbusters" continues playing] 578 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,041 ♪ Let me tell you something ♪ 579 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:25,500 ♪ Bustin' makes me feel good ♪ 580 00:27:27,791 --> 00:27:29,875 [kids chattering] 581 00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:44,833 [door opens] 582 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:49,500 Oh, Hubie. Don't go out there tonight. 583 00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:51,833 I have a feeling something's going to happen. 584 00:27:52,375 --> 00:27:55,208 I get that feeling every time I leave the house, Mom. 585 00:27:55,291 --> 00:27:56,500 But Salem needs me. 586 00:27:56,583 --> 00:27:59,625 Listen to me. It's time to worry about yourself. 587 00:27:59,708 --> 00:28:03,291 Hubert Shubert Dubois, do you hear me? 588 00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:06,291 The whole neighborhood'll hear you, Ma. You're practically screaming. 589 00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:07,750 I'll be okay. 590 00:28:07,833 --> 00:28:10,291 -My sweet boy. -[Hubie] I love you. 591 00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:13,625 Answer the door if it's a trick-or-treater. 592 00:28:13,708 --> 00:28:15,291 Otherwise, just stay in the house, Ma. 593 00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:16,375 [door opens] 594 00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:18,625 [door closes] 595 00:28:19,833 --> 00:28:21,541 So, you went with the full moon, huh, God? 596 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:23,333 It's on. 597 00:28:23,791 --> 00:28:26,416 ♪ Trick, trick, trick or treat ♪ 598 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:29,833 ♪ Open up your door And give me what I need, trick… ♪ 599 00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:31,791 [Hubie] Be careful, guys! Safety first! 600 00:28:32,375 --> 00:28:34,750 ♪ I'll show you something That you've never seen ♪ 601 00:28:34,833 --> 00:28:35,833 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 602 00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:40,625 -Incredible costumes, guys. -[girl] Whatever. 603 00:28:40,708 --> 00:28:41,791 Hmm. 604 00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,500 [Hubie grunts] 605 00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,708 [car horn beeping] 606 00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:52,500 Well, not on my watch, Mr. Whiskers. 607 00:28:52,583 --> 00:28:55,208 Hey, Pubie! Give me back my cat! 608 00:28:55,291 --> 00:28:57,833 Boy, that nickname spread like warm peanut butter. 609 00:28:58,291 --> 00:28:59,166 Um… 610 00:29:00,166 --> 00:29:01,125 [cat meows] 611 00:29:02,916 --> 00:29:03,791 [Violet] Hey, Karen. 612 00:29:04,708 --> 00:29:06,250 How 'bout you thank the man? 613 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:08,458 Oh, hey, Violet. 614 00:29:08,541 --> 00:29:12,708 Oh, you fostering this mumbling zombie now, too? [laughs] 615 00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:14,000 Good luck! 616 00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:16,916 You want me to get out this car and beat you with that ugly cat? 617 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,708 'Cause you know I'm more than capable of it. 618 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,875 Uh… no. 619 00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:24,291 [door opens, closes] 620 00:29:24,375 --> 00:29:26,833 Violet Valentine. What a, uh, pleasant surprise. 621 00:29:26,916 --> 00:29:30,958 How did you get to be so badass? 622 00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:32,458 [stammers] 623 00:29:34,458 --> 00:29:37,708 Yes, you, Hubie. You're a stud. 624 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:41,375 You're most friendly, most popular, and best looking. 625 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:42,416 What? 626 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:47,916 I was wondering, Violet, do you think perhaps that we can-- 627 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,416 Maybe sometime you and I could possibly… 628 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:53,333 What? 629 00:29:55,125 --> 00:29:55,958 Nothing. 630 00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:57,666 Nothing at all. 631 00:29:58,125 --> 00:29:59,000 Oh. 632 00:30:00,916 --> 00:30:03,291 Okay. Well, I know it's your big night, Hubie. 633 00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:07,416 So, if you run out of soup and you need a refill, just stop by the diner. 634 00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:09,583 I'm working all night, okay? 635 00:30:11,166 --> 00:30:12,000 Right-o. 636 00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:14,166 Okay. 637 00:30:25,333 --> 00:30:29,041 I'm asexual, but that girl's making me hella horny. 638 00:30:31,291 --> 00:30:32,166 Mmm. 639 00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:34,916 Go, go, go. 640 00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,791 Go get candy, baby. 641 00:30:49,750 --> 00:30:50,666 Okay. 642 00:30:51,416 --> 00:30:53,291 I'm gonna stop you there, young lady. 643 00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:58,750 Part of the fun of Halloween is its ways of teaching us life lessons. 644 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:02,583 -To trust the honor system. -[animatronic creature] Hello! 645 00:31:02,666 --> 00:31:04,250 [screaming] 646 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:05,916 [laughing] 647 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,458 [Hubie] Help me! 648 00:31:07,541 --> 00:31:09,208 [laughs] You're a dummy! 649 00:31:09,291 --> 00:31:12,208 Scooby Dubois on the case! 650 00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:15,291 Mr. Hennessy. How's night school? 651 00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:17,416 I dropped out three years ago. Shut up. 652 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:18,833 [Hennessy] Hi, David. Hi, Tracy. 653 00:31:18,916 --> 00:31:20,166 -[Tracy] Hi. -[David] How are ya? 654 00:31:20,250 --> 00:31:24,083 Hubie, nice little sash you got on there. What is that, monitor? 655 00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:26,166 What're you monitorizing? 656 00:31:26,250 --> 00:31:29,416 You see, basically, doing a door-to-door candy etiquette. 657 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:34,125 As a trained volunteer, I've been asked to initiate spot checks. 658 00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:35,750 -Asked by who? -[Hennessy] Yeah. 659 00:31:35,833 --> 00:31:38,583 It looks like you made that sash from one of your mother's scarves. 660 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:43,208 [all laughing] 661 00:31:43,291 --> 00:31:47,250 My family's been a part of Salem for, uh, going back to the witch trials. 662 00:31:47,333 --> 00:31:50,541 So, I know what it's like when the spooky fun gets outta hand-- 663 00:31:50,625 --> 00:31:52,875 [Hennessy makes snoring sounds] 664 00:31:53,416 --> 00:31:54,375 Oh, I'm sorry. 665 00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:57,541 I had this nightmare I was talking to an idiot. 666 00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,458 Mmm. Havin' a nightmare about your hairdo. 667 00:32:00,541 --> 00:32:02,083 [Tracy and David] Come on, baby. 668 00:32:02,166 --> 00:32:04,708 [Hubie] Good night. Please keep the fishnets for fishing next year. 669 00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:07,125 You know what spooky fun is really getting outta hand? 670 00:32:07,208 --> 00:32:08,500 It's your new neighbor's house. 671 00:32:08,583 --> 00:32:11,125 I heard some odd noises when I was walking by. 672 00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:12,416 -Noises, huh? -Yeah. 673 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:14,458 Let's break this down. Did it sound like this? 674 00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:16,375 [makes braying sounds] 675 00:32:16,458 --> 00:32:18,708 -That sounds like a donkey. No. -How about… 676 00:32:18,791 --> 00:32:19,833 [growling] 677 00:32:19,916 --> 00:32:21,708 -No. -[squeaking] 678 00:32:21,791 --> 00:32:23,833 -No. -[grunting] 679 00:32:23,916 --> 00:32:25,500 I don't know. It was a noise! 680 00:32:25,583 --> 00:32:26,666 -Okay? -Yeah. 681 00:32:26,750 --> 00:32:28,916 -Why don't you just go see what it is? -On it. 682 00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:42,125 [glass shatters] 683 00:32:42,208 --> 00:32:45,708 [people chattering] 684 00:32:51,250 --> 00:32:52,416 [rustling, crashing] 685 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:55,500 -[muffled screaming] -[banging] 686 00:32:56,416 --> 00:32:57,875 [snarling] 687 00:32:57,958 --> 00:32:59,291 [Hubie] Hmm. 688 00:33:00,541 --> 00:33:02,791 [muffled snarling, wailing] 689 00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:04,958 [Hubie] Mr. Lambert? Mr. Lambert? 690 00:33:07,375 --> 00:33:08,625 [muffled screaming] 691 00:33:10,541 --> 00:33:12,333 [power tool whirring] 692 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:22,083 [distant wailing, screaming] 693 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,583 [distant crashing] 694 00:33:25,125 --> 00:33:26,041 Mr. Lambert? 695 00:33:26,583 --> 00:33:29,000 [distant screaming continues] 696 00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:29,916 [Hubie] Hello? 697 00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:32,541 [muffled shrieking] 698 00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:33,458 [Hubie] Mr. Lamb-- 699 00:33:33,541 --> 00:33:35,291 [Hubie screams, thuds] 700 00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:38,208 [groaning] 701 00:33:38,291 --> 00:33:39,125 Why? 702 00:33:58,083 --> 00:33:58,916 What the-- 703 00:34:00,375 --> 00:34:02,041 You got a dog, Mr. Lambert? 704 00:34:06,250 --> 00:34:08,208 You got a big dog, Mr. Lambert? 705 00:34:25,708 --> 00:34:26,666 [screams] 706 00:34:28,541 --> 00:34:29,458 Mr. Lambert. 707 00:34:29,541 --> 00:34:32,541 I know you said if there was a commotion, I should ignore it. 708 00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:37,333 But there was a commotion, and I did not ignore it. And-- 709 00:34:37,416 --> 00:34:39,166 -[growls] -Oh! 710 00:34:39,250 --> 00:34:41,833 Were those your feces on the newspaper, Mr. Lambert? 711 00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:43,166 [snarls] 712 00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:46,666 [rumbling, gasping] Walter. 713 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,916 [creaking] 714 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,375 -[snarls] -[gasps] 715 00:34:52,625 --> 00:34:54,083 [howling] 716 00:34:55,416 --> 00:34:56,625 Safe Halloween, Mr.-- 717 00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:58,333 Walter! 718 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000 [siren blares] 719 00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:02,875 Look, I know it was just a pig. 720 00:35:02,958 --> 00:35:06,041 Peanut was not just a pig, officer. He was my best friend. 721 00:35:06,125 --> 00:35:08,500 -I thought I was your best friend. -[scoffs] 722 00:35:08,583 --> 00:35:12,583 Here's what I'm thinkin'. Name Richie Hartman ring a bell? 723 00:35:13,250 --> 00:35:14,125 Richie Hartman? 724 00:35:14,791 --> 00:35:16,333 Everybody knows who he is. 725 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:19,041 I don't. Who is he? One of your boyfriend? 726 00:35:19,125 --> 00:35:20,333 [Louise] Oh, you jealous now? 727 00:35:20,416 --> 00:35:23,083 Why don't you go cuddle up with your best friend, Peanut, huh? 728 00:35:23,166 --> 00:35:24,541 [Dan crying] You see this, officer? 729 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:26,666 -I wanna press charges. -Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 730 00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:29,000 [Louise] And I wanna press your face against that radiator! 731 00:35:29,083 --> 00:35:30,666 -[Hubie] Officer Steve! -I'm sorry, buddy. 732 00:35:30,750 --> 00:35:32,875 The package got by me. He moves quickly to the left. 733 00:35:32,958 --> 00:35:35,833 Okay, well, how did the package even know that I was in here? 734 00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,500 Well, that's a glass window. The package could see ya. 735 00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:41,291 Yeah, but could've told the package that I'm a mannequin or somethin'. 736 00:35:41,375 --> 00:35:43,500 -You're right. -What is this package they talkin' about? 737 00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:45,458 -My bad. -Guess they're talkin' about this fella. 738 00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:46,583 Pubie? 739 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:49,416 I don't know his name. The goofy idiot from the supermarket deli. 740 00:35:50,166 --> 00:35:52,916 Dan, Louise, let's table this discussion for a moment, okay? 741 00:35:53,916 --> 00:35:56,291 -To be continued, I guess. -[Louise] Oh, you guess? 742 00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:59,625 I wish it was you that was knifed up instead of peanut. 743 00:35:59,708 --> 00:36:01,333 You hear this? Can I borrow your gun? 744 00:36:01,416 --> 00:36:03,833 I assure you can arrest me right afterwards. 745 00:36:04,291 --> 00:36:06,583 [Louise] Cut your gizzards off. That's what I should do. 746 00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:09,708 Officer Steve, I saw my ne-- 747 00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:11,833 Never mind that. Cop a squat. 748 00:36:12,458 --> 00:36:13,291 -Here? -Yeah. 749 00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:18,333 Hubie, how long have you lived in Salem? 750 00:36:19,083 --> 00:36:20,333 Eh, my whole life. 751 00:36:20,416 --> 00:36:23,250 Now, you've brought us many instances of unlawful conduct 752 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:24,666 to our attention over the years. 753 00:36:25,166 --> 00:36:26,958 Somebody put a firecracker in my mail slot. 754 00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:28,750 There's a diaper in Dori's pond. 755 00:36:28,833 --> 00:36:30,916 There's a weird station wagon at the senior center. 756 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,875 The supermarket is selling expired bacon. 757 00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:35,166 Janet at the library has not been herself lately. 758 00:36:35,250 --> 00:36:36,916 I heard a voice in the sewer. 759 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,041 I'm sorry. I didn't recognize him. 760 00:36:39,125 --> 00:36:42,750 The power of observation, the ability to blend in. 761 00:36:42,833 --> 00:36:45,375 That is you in a nutshell, Hubie. 762 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:49,375 Well, Steven, let's talk turkey. 763 00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:51,291 May I? 764 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,375 Mmm… I only have 30 left. 765 00:36:54,791 --> 00:36:55,958 Okay. 766 00:36:57,416 --> 00:37:00,666 You ever hear of an AUU? 767 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:04,666 I don't have an Internet, so I'm not up on my latest abbreviations. 768 00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:05,583 Illuminate me. 769 00:37:05,666 --> 00:37:11,000 AUU stands for "Auxiliary Undercover Unit." 770 00:37:11,083 --> 00:37:15,916 [squealing, muttering] 771 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,250 [puffs, inhales] 772 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:21,250 -Now, before you get too excited, -[exhaling] 773 00:37:21,333 --> 00:37:23,666 let me tell you what it entails, okay? 774 00:37:24,125 --> 00:37:25,708 First off, there's no salary. 775 00:37:25,791 --> 00:37:27,333 -[exhales] -There's no badge. 776 00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:29,666 -[exhales] -We can't acknowledge you officially 777 00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:31,833 -in any way whatsoever. And-- -[exhaling] 778 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:33,583 And the most important thing is 779 00:37:33,666 --> 00:37:37,416 you can never be seen talking to me or any other officer in this place. 780 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,666 [exhaling] 781 00:37:39,750 --> 00:37:42,583 A question. How would I go about getting the information to you? 782 00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:46,041 Oh, you just keep a log. A very detailed log. 783 00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:49,291 And you drop that log right here. 784 00:37:49,375 --> 00:37:51,875 In the garbage can directly outside Town Hall. 785 00:37:51,958 --> 00:37:54,125 So, drop a log in a garbage can? 786 00:37:54,208 --> 00:37:56,708 Well, that garbage can, that's monitored, 24-7. 787 00:37:56,791 --> 00:37:59,791 So, any intel that you have, it's gonna get to us. We'll know about it. 788 00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,125 -Makes-- makes sense. -Yep. 789 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:05,875 But remember, you cannot contact us, no matter how dire the emergency. 790 00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:08,833 -Yeah, I heard you the first time. -Yeah, I said it twice, it's important. 791 00:38:08,916 --> 00:38:11,333 -Gotcha. -So, you ready to join the team? 792 00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:15,166 Put me in, coach. I'm ready to play. 793 00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:16,583 [Steve] All right! 794 00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:26,166 Perfect. 795 00:38:27,625 --> 00:38:30,666 Tommy, I want mom to bring half my candy to the homeless shelter in the morning. 796 00:38:30,750 --> 00:38:32,625 Will you tell her when she gets home? 797 00:38:33,208 --> 00:38:34,041 Tommy? 798 00:38:35,625 --> 00:38:36,583 Tommy! 799 00:38:37,583 --> 00:38:38,416 Tommy? 800 00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:41,166 Tommy, where are you? 801 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:44,541 [horror movie music playing] 802 00:38:44,625 --> 00:38:48,833 Danielle! Mom isn't home yet, and I can't find Tommy. I'm scared. 803 00:38:48,916 --> 00:38:52,083 -Did you check the basement? -I checked everywhere. He's not here. 804 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:56,416 You know what that means? Our brother's in love. 805 00:38:57,625 --> 00:38:58,458 Ew! 806 00:38:58,541 --> 00:39:00,125 [screaming] 807 00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:03,625 ["Dancing with the Devil" playing live] 808 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:06,958 ♪ Ghosts and goblins very scary ♪ 809 00:39:10,458 --> 00:39:13,791 ♪ Wolfman's back is very hairy… ♪ 810 00:39:16,166 --> 00:39:18,041 How we doin', ladies? 811 00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:20,125 Great, Freddie Mercury. 812 00:39:20,208 --> 00:39:24,250 So lit to have freshman girls here. New crop of hotties to hit on. 813 00:39:24,333 --> 00:39:26,416 Hey! Easy, Mikey. My sister's a freshman. 814 00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:29,375 Dude, I would never even consider your sister in that way. 815 00:39:29,458 --> 00:39:31,458 She's got no personality and a greasy forehead. 816 00:39:32,041 --> 00:39:33,250 You're a good friend, man. 817 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,375 [man shouts] Ha ha ha! 818 00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:35,833 [sighs] 819 00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,416 [gasps] 820 00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:39,916 Hi. 821 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,083 Didn't I see you on Union Street a couple of hours ago trick-or-treating? 822 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,083 Well, I had to take out my two new sisters, remember? 823 00:39:47,166 --> 00:39:50,416 I don't know. I thought I saw you hold open your bag to get some candy. 824 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,375 That's not babysitting, that's trick-or-treating. 825 00:39:52,458 --> 00:39:54,500 Oh, my God. I know, I know. It's so pathetic. 826 00:39:54,583 --> 00:39:55,666 It's not pathetic. 827 00:39:56,416 --> 00:39:58,000 If you brought me a Kit Kat bar. 828 00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,791 Well, I have a few. 829 00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:06,666 ♪ Devil ♪ 830 00:40:06,750 --> 00:40:09,250 ♪ Dancing with the Devil ♪ 831 00:40:09,333 --> 00:40:11,166 [crowd cheering] 832 00:40:11,250 --> 00:40:13,125 ["Get Freaky" playing] 833 00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:14,625 ♪ Freaky, freaky, freaky… ♪ 834 00:40:17,958 --> 00:40:20,625 -Excuse me. Smokers for chokers. -[glass shatters] 835 00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:22,208 -What's your problem? -I got a problem? 836 00:40:22,291 --> 00:40:23,375 I think you got the problem. 837 00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:24,416 How we doing, guys? 838 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:27,041 -[man 1] What's up, old man? -Got some ID for that drink? 839 00:40:27,125 --> 00:40:28,958 -What? -Yeah, not on my watch. 840 00:40:29,041 --> 00:40:30,750 -What the hell? -It's for the best. 841 00:40:31,875 --> 00:40:35,083 And I think we are gonna dehydrate. Let's break that up. 842 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,583 -Watch it, GI Jackass. -[man 2] You wanna die? 843 00:40:37,666 --> 00:40:38,750 Not yet. 844 00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:42,416 Uh, excuse me, Grandpa Thermos, you need to leave the party right now. 845 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,291 Leave public property? I don't see that happening. 846 00:40:45,375 --> 00:40:47,791 Leave. Or I'll beat you with a tire iron. 847 00:40:47,875 --> 00:40:49,166 You and whose army? 848 00:40:49,250 --> 00:40:50,083 Just me. 849 00:40:50,166 --> 00:40:52,333 -And me. -And me. 850 00:40:52,416 --> 00:40:54,750 -And me. -And definitely me. 851 00:40:54,833 --> 00:40:58,666 -Let's kill him! -[all clamoring] Yeah! Yeah! 852 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,291 Hang on! All right. 853 00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:04,125 I realize I might have gone too far for your teenage mental capacities 854 00:41:04,208 --> 00:41:05,833 and that is a boner on my part. 855 00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:07,541 [all laughing] 856 00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:10,250 -I don't think he knows what boner means. -No, definitely not. 857 00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:12,666 When I was your age, I made some huge boners. 858 00:41:12,750 --> 00:41:14,583 [all laughing] 859 00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:16,666 Boners that I wish I could get back now. 860 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,625 [all laughing] 861 00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:19,541 Listen, give me a minute head start, 862 00:41:19,625 --> 00:41:21,791 then tell him there's a kid stuck in the corn maze. 863 00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,458 And why am I doing that? 864 00:41:23,541 --> 00:41:27,000 'Cause I am going to scare the living crap out of him. 865 00:41:27,083 --> 00:41:28,500 Really? Does he scare easy? 866 00:41:30,208 --> 00:41:31,708 [screams] Oh my… 867 00:41:31,791 --> 00:41:34,291 [screaming] Ah! Oh! 868 00:41:34,375 --> 00:41:36,791 -[screams] -[screaming] 869 00:41:36,875 --> 00:41:38,333 Yes. 870 00:41:38,416 --> 00:41:39,625 Yes, he does. 871 00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:41,125 [dance music continues playing] 872 00:41:41,208 --> 00:41:43,458 [Hubie] Actually, I had a good time with you guys after all. 873 00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:47,083 It was fun. Hope we do it again next year. Give a hoot, don't pollute. 874 00:41:47,166 --> 00:41:50,125 -[coughs] Isn't that Woodsy the Owl? -No, he was Tootsie Pops. 875 00:41:50,208 --> 00:41:51,166 Hey, Mr. Pubois. 876 00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:52,875 -Dubois. -Dubois. 877 00:41:53,458 --> 00:41:55,541 I think I saw a little kid get lost in the Corn Maze. 878 00:41:55,625 --> 00:41:56,625 In the what? 879 00:41:57,291 --> 00:41:59,500 I heard him scream, "Help!" Then he started crying. 880 00:41:59,583 --> 00:42:01,208 My God, it's just-- it's just a little kid! 881 00:42:01,291 --> 00:42:02,750 Okay. Handle your high. 882 00:42:02,833 --> 00:42:05,750 I am a member of the AUU. This is what I was trained to do. 883 00:42:06,291 --> 00:42:07,291 [yells] Hoo-ah! 884 00:42:09,166 --> 00:42:12,000 [wheezing, grunting] 885 00:42:14,208 --> 00:42:15,583 I think we're good! 886 00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:17,541 [all laughing] 887 00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:20,750 Messing with Shoobie Dubois. A Salem tradition. 888 00:42:21,333 --> 00:42:23,291 My grandma gave him his first titty-twister. 889 00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:25,333 [all laughing] 890 00:42:25,416 --> 00:42:28,041 -What a bunch of jerks. -Should we go tell him it's a prank? 891 00:42:28,833 --> 00:42:30,791 I knew I liked you, freshman. Come on. 892 00:42:31,666 --> 00:42:34,125 Excuse me, excuse me, Bride of Skankenstein. Yeah, thank you. 893 00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:57,750 If you can hear me, please call out so I can determine your whereabouts! 894 00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:00,583 Do not be fearful, little one! 895 00:43:01,125 --> 00:43:02,041 Announce yourself! 896 00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,291 [girl] Hubie! 897 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:06,541 [Tommy] Mr. Dubois! 898 00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:08,083 [girl] Hubie! 899 00:43:08,875 --> 00:43:09,916 [Tommy] Hello! 900 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,750 -Where are you? -Should we split up? 901 00:43:12,291 --> 00:43:14,166 I don't know. That sounds like a big boner. 902 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:15,416 -What? -I'm just kidding. 903 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,791 -[girl] Yeah, go that way… -[heavy breathing] 904 00:43:17,875 --> 00:43:20,541 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 905 00:43:20,625 --> 00:43:23,875 Tonight's temperatures will dip below 28 degrees! 906 00:43:23,958 --> 00:43:26,333 Your nervous system cannot handle that! 907 00:43:26,416 --> 00:43:28,125 Sasquatch could not handle that! 908 00:43:29,083 --> 00:43:31,500 [girl] Mr. Dubois? Hello! 909 00:43:34,041 --> 00:43:35,791 Hey, Tommy, hey! 910 00:43:39,583 --> 00:43:41,541 -Mr. Dubois! [screams] -[laughs] 911 00:43:41,625 --> 00:43:44,000 What the hell, Mike? Why would you do that? 912 00:43:44,083 --> 00:43:46,916 Hey, whoa! I'm sorry. Come on, I couldn't resist. 913 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,250 [Tommy] That wasn't cool, man. 914 00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,875 Hey, coffee boy. 915 00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:51,375 You're that freshman, right? 916 00:43:52,166 --> 00:43:53,958 Uh, yeah. 917 00:43:54,041 --> 00:43:56,625 Yeah, well, welcome to your first high school fight. 918 00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:57,625 [grunts] 919 00:43:58,208 --> 00:43:59,375 [girl] Tommy! 920 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:03,458 Megan McNally, you like underclassmen? 921 00:44:04,583 --> 00:44:06,041 Oh, that's adorable. 922 00:44:06,125 --> 00:44:06,958 [Hubie] Hello! 923 00:44:09,583 --> 00:44:11,083 Is the fight over? Did I win? 924 00:44:11,666 --> 00:44:13,666 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you kicked his ass. Come on. 925 00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:17,750 [Hubie] Is anyone out there? Sound off! 926 00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:19,333 [high-pitched voice] Help! 927 00:44:20,666 --> 00:44:24,041 Remain in place! I will find you! 928 00:44:24,666 --> 00:44:27,583 Not if I find you first! [snickers] 929 00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:31,708 Take me, evil one! Just do not harm the child! 930 00:44:31,791 --> 00:44:33,333 [high-pitched voice] Help, Hubie! 931 00:44:33,416 --> 00:44:36,000 [snickering] 932 00:44:37,375 --> 00:44:38,875 No! 933 00:44:40,083 --> 00:44:41,666 Dad? Is that you? 934 00:44:42,791 --> 00:44:44,458 Does Mom know you're still alive? 935 00:44:45,833 --> 00:44:47,083 Are you still mad at me? 936 00:44:47,166 --> 00:44:49,750 No. It's Tommy, Violet Valentine's son. 937 00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,875 Yeah, and Megan. I work down at the coffee shop. 938 00:44:51,958 --> 00:44:54,583 I give you free hot water for your dehydrated soup sometimes. 939 00:44:54,666 --> 00:44:56,416 Yes. Much appreciated. 940 00:44:56,500 --> 00:45:00,250 The reason I take it for free is 'cause I don't have money. 941 00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:03,791 Anyway, we came over here to tell you that there's no lost kid. 942 00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:05,416 No one's lost? 943 00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:07,708 Yeah, it's just Mike Mundi trying to pull a prank on you. 944 00:45:08,583 --> 00:45:09,791 Prank? No, I knew that. 945 00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:13,125 So, I like the costumes. 946 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,083 -Garbage can? -Yeah. Tin Man. 947 00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:17,916 And Red Riding Hood. 948 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,958 I want to be honest with you. Might not be a good year for it. 949 00:45:21,041 --> 00:45:24,875 Um, between us, there is a man-wolf on the loose. 950 00:45:25,458 --> 00:45:28,333 Then maybe should I head inside? 951 00:45:28,416 --> 00:45:29,416 A wise decision. 952 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:32,041 By the way, my mom was talking about you tonight. 953 00:45:32,625 --> 00:45:34,041 Your mom was talking about me? 954 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:35,541 What'd she say? 955 00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:37,208 Just that you are nice. 956 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:38,833 Well, I am nice. 957 00:45:39,333 --> 00:45:41,958 Because I'm not gonna tell her that you're out here playing Romeo 958 00:45:42,041 --> 00:45:44,208 instead of watching your two little sisters. 959 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,208 -Well, now I feel bad. -I know you feel bad. 960 00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:49,625 -'Cause you got a big heart. -Thanks. 961 00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:51,666 So, I'm gonna let you two guys take off without me. 962 00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:53,666 I'll give you a head start in the name of romance. 963 00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:56,791 -Okay. Go ahead, guys. Take care, now. -[Tommy] Thanks, Mr. Dubois. 964 00:45:56,875 --> 00:45:58,833 -[Megan] Happy Halloween. -Not looking, guys! 965 00:46:08,833 --> 00:46:10,583 Same corn over and over. 966 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,583 I should've left with the others, 'cause I have no idea where I am. 967 00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:19,333 So, I came from there. I already was there. 968 00:46:21,708 --> 00:46:24,208 Can't believe I don't have a compass on my thermos. 969 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:25,875 [muffled scream] 970 00:46:33,208 --> 00:46:35,250 [muffled screaming] Help me! 971 00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:38,291 Michael Mundi. 972 00:46:38,375 --> 00:46:39,541 [muffled screaming] Help me! 973 00:46:39,625 --> 00:46:45,041 Listen, I am a fan of a Halloween zinger as much as the next guy, but… 974 00:46:45,125 --> 00:46:46,250 [grunting] 975 00:46:46,333 --> 00:46:47,416 What? What'd you say? 976 00:46:52,291 --> 00:46:54,000 Michael? Michael! 977 00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:58,375 What the-- 978 00:47:07,875 --> 00:47:14,875 [screaming] What? 979 00:47:16,791 --> 00:47:19,958 [Aurora] It's nine o'clock in Salem, which means all you trick-or-treaters 980 00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:22,916 have counted up your candy corns and are gettin' ready for bed. 981 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,166 What the heck? 982 00:47:24,250 --> 00:47:26,750 [Aurora] But that don't mean the fun stops for all of us. 983 00:47:27,166 --> 00:47:30,416 -Hubie, I can't do this. -Michael Mundi was abducted. 984 00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:32,458 I found a ticket to the drive-in at the scene. 985 00:47:32,541 --> 00:47:33,583 Great. Start there. 986 00:47:36,041 --> 00:47:38,541 [Aurora] So, now's the time for us big boys and girls 987 00:47:38,625 --> 00:47:39,958 to get up to some real mischief. 988 00:47:40,041 --> 00:47:41,375 [oldies rock music playing] 989 00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:45,083 [Aurora] And watch out. It's always the quiet ones who get the most naughty. 990 00:47:45,166 --> 00:47:46,708 [woman cackling maniacally] 991 00:47:46,791 --> 00:47:49,958 Violet, where the hell were you? We're falling behind out there. 992 00:47:50,041 --> 00:47:53,541 Well, I was on the phone with the credit card company. 993 00:47:53,625 --> 00:47:56,750 They didn't know I had an extension. I'm so sorry, Mr. Tayback. 994 00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:59,250 You know how much credit card debt I'm in right now? 995 00:47:59,333 --> 00:48:00,458 Nobody gives a crap! 996 00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,791 Just do your job. No breaks on Halloween. 997 00:48:03,875 --> 00:48:06,000 -[phone buzzing] -♪ Party in the mummy's tomb ♪ 998 00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:09,750 ♪ And she's in love With the creature from the black lagoon ♪ 999 00:48:10,375 --> 00:48:12,791 [female voice] Your call has been forwarded to an automated-- 1000 00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:14,458 She's not answering. 1001 00:48:15,333 --> 00:48:16,833 Don't worry, we'll find Tommy. 1002 00:48:20,666 --> 00:48:23,708 I am your father, and I demand some respect. 1003 00:48:23,791 --> 00:48:26,666 You are grounded for the next six months. 1004 00:48:28,041 --> 00:48:28,958 [gasps] 1005 00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:31,166 -[screaming] -[chomps] 1006 00:48:33,041 --> 00:48:34,291 You son of a-- 1007 00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:35,416 [chuckles] 1008 00:48:36,166 --> 00:48:38,833 -Mmm. Hey! -Hey. 1009 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:39,916 [sighs] 1010 00:48:40,958 --> 00:48:42,333 So, did I miss anything? 1011 00:48:42,416 --> 00:48:44,250 Yeah, you just missed the best part! 1012 00:48:45,541 --> 00:48:48,708 The best part is spending time alone with you. 1013 00:48:48,791 --> 00:48:49,750 [chuckles] 1014 00:48:51,291 --> 00:48:54,416 [moaning softly] 1015 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:58,250 [high-pitched moaning] 1016 00:48:58,333 --> 00:48:59,250 [laughs] 1017 00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:00,208 Did that turn you on? 1018 00:49:00,291 --> 00:49:03,083 How is sucking on fake fingers supposed to turn me on? 1019 00:49:03,166 --> 00:49:05,208 Well, imagine that they're your fingers. 1020 00:49:05,291 --> 00:49:08,458 They're men's fingers. Are you saying I have men's fingers? 1021 00:49:08,541 --> 00:49:10,916 Okay, look, I was just trying something, okay? 1022 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,916 -Something different. -Jeez, man. 1023 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:15,375 [sighs] Remember we used to come here in high school? 1024 00:49:15,458 --> 00:49:19,708 Mm-hmm. Feels exactly the same, too. We got Hubie Dubois spying on everybody. 1025 00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:23,875 I gotta say, it's pretty impressive how long he's been a loser. 1026 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,416 -I got a great idea. -[woman on-screen screaming] 1027 00:49:26,500 --> 00:49:29,750 It's kinda evil, but stick with me. 1028 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,666 Now, that turns me on. 1029 00:49:31,750 --> 00:49:36,083 [both laughing] 1030 00:49:39,041 --> 00:49:40,041 Michael Mundi. 1031 00:49:40,125 --> 00:49:41,833 [clicking pen] 1032 00:49:41,916 --> 00:49:44,333 Scheduled to come to the Creature Double Feature. 1033 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,541 To meet who? 1034 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,916 To kill his next victim? 1035 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,875 -[woman] Hubie. -[screaming] Murder! 1036 00:49:53,916 --> 00:49:55,041 You okay, big man? 1037 00:49:55,125 --> 00:49:56,000 Mrs. Hennessy. 1038 00:49:58,666 --> 00:50:02,208 I am actually doing a follow-up on a classified situation. 1039 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,166 Did you lose your thermos or some shit? 1040 00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:06,083 Oh, that'll never happen. 1041 00:50:06,541 --> 00:50:07,583 [clicking] 1042 00:50:11,083 --> 00:50:14,000 Anyway, I saw something earlier. 1043 00:50:14,083 --> 00:50:14,916 Mm-hmm. 1044 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,916 Something suspicious. 1045 00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:20,166 Ears are in open position. 1046 00:50:21,333 --> 00:50:22,833 This is gonna sound nuts. 1047 00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:25,291 But I was going to get popcorn earlier, 1048 00:50:25,375 --> 00:50:30,208 when this freaky old-timey car pulled into the lot. 1049 00:50:30,833 --> 00:50:32,541 And the driver was-- 1050 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:35,500 You just gotta see it to believe it. 1051 00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:40,791 Could you possibly point me in the direction of this strange vehicle? 1052 00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:42,583 It's that one. 1053 00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:44,291 Right there. 1054 00:50:46,750 --> 00:50:47,583 Okay. 1055 00:50:51,416 --> 00:50:52,333 Let's take a look. 1056 00:50:55,291 --> 00:50:56,541 -Oh, and, uh… -Yes? 1057 00:50:57,375 --> 00:51:00,208 Hubie, do be… careful. 1058 00:51:00,666 --> 00:51:02,916 [man on-screen shouting] 1059 00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:20,416 [car starts] 1060 00:51:27,875 --> 00:51:29,208 What the what? 1061 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,041 Okay, whoa, there. 1062 00:51:33,958 --> 00:51:35,375 Step out of the vehicle! 1063 00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:40,375 We can do this the easy way or the paddle way. It's up to you. 1064 00:51:41,291 --> 00:51:42,458 [engine revs] 1065 00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:47,416 Ghost! 1066 00:51:48,375 --> 00:51:50,541 [Hubie screaming] 1067 00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:51,875 Help me! 1068 00:51:52,333 --> 00:51:53,416 [screaming, muttering] 1069 00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:54,500 What are you? 1070 00:51:54,583 --> 00:51:55,916 [whimpering] 1071 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:56,833 Help me! 1072 00:51:57,791 --> 00:51:58,875 [screaming] 1073 00:51:58,958 --> 00:52:00,708 No! Oh, God! 1074 00:52:00,791 --> 00:52:01,666 Why? 1075 00:52:01,750 --> 00:52:04,583 [kids shouting, clamoring] Get him! 1076 00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:05,916 What the heck? 1077 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:07,000 [laughing] 1078 00:52:07,083 --> 00:52:09,541 [kids continue shouting] 1079 00:52:09,625 --> 00:52:10,541 [Hubie screams] 1080 00:52:12,416 --> 00:52:13,416 [Hubie mutters] 1081 00:52:15,958 --> 00:52:17,000 [screaming] 1082 00:52:17,083 --> 00:52:18,416 [grunts] Help me! 1083 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:19,333 [thuds] 1084 00:52:19,416 --> 00:52:23,416 [laughing] 1085 00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:25,375 -Now do you want me? -[Mrs. Hennessy] No! 1086 00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:27,375 [laughing, crying] 1087 00:52:27,833 --> 00:52:30,333 [Hubie] There's a time and a place for hijinks! 1088 00:52:30,958 --> 00:52:33,333 But there's a situation going on here! 1089 00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:34,791 [rustling] 1090 00:52:34,875 --> 00:52:36,500 -[growls] -[screams] 1091 00:52:38,916 --> 00:52:41,500 Hubie. It's funny seeing you here. 1092 00:52:41,583 --> 00:52:42,666 [chuckling] 1093 00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:44,833 I'm sorry about before. In the basement. 1094 00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:47,250 I really wasn't feeling myself. 1095 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:49,375 I don't know if I like you much better now. 1096 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:52,041 You didn't tell anybody about that, did you, Hubie? 1097 00:52:52,125 --> 00:52:54,375 Why? You have secrets, Mr. Lambert? 1098 00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:58,666 As in, secretly dropping by the corn maze earlier tonight? 1099 00:52:58,750 --> 00:52:59,625 Did anybody get-- 1100 00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:01,583 [panting, heaving] 1101 00:53:01,666 --> 00:53:03,625 -Mr. Lambert. -Walter. 1102 00:53:03,708 --> 00:53:07,250 Your tombstone says that you have yet to die. 1103 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:11,625 Are you a human being, or are you a moon-crazed beast 1104 00:53:12,208 --> 00:53:16,833 from beyond the grave, grave, grave? 1105 00:53:17,166 --> 00:53:20,708 [snarling, howling] 1106 00:53:20,791 --> 00:53:23,291 Hold that thought! I gotta split! 1107 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:24,916 Mr. Lambert! 1108 00:53:26,166 --> 00:53:27,833 That just answered my question. 1109 00:53:28,541 --> 00:53:33,750 [crowd cheering, clamoring] 1110 00:53:33,833 --> 00:53:36,041 [male announcer] Oh, man. That's another one. 1111 00:53:36,125 --> 00:53:37,333 [marching band playing fanfare] 1112 00:53:37,416 --> 00:53:40,750 What a man! What a mouth! And on his first try. 1113 00:53:40,833 --> 00:53:43,083 Have a round of applause, everyone. 1114 00:53:43,166 --> 00:53:44,458 Who's next? 1115 00:53:44,541 --> 00:53:46,291 If the mayor can do it, so can you. 1116 00:53:46,875 --> 00:53:48,166 You, sir! Step on up. 1117 00:53:52,791 --> 00:53:54,958 Sorry to bother you, mayor, but it's important. 1118 00:53:55,041 --> 00:53:56,458 [muffled muttering] 1119 00:53:57,958 --> 00:53:59,250 [gasps] 1120 00:54:01,083 --> 00:54:02,125 What is it, Sergeant? 1121 00:54:02,208 --> 00:54:03,916 About an hour ago, I got a strange report 1122 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,875 of a missing high school kid from Hubie Dubois. 1123 00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:09,458 After I laughed it off as usual, I got a call from the kid's mother. 1124 00:54:09,541 --> 00:54:10,750 He actually never made it home. 1125 00:54:10,833 --> 00:54:13,583 This Richard Hartman thing has got you jumpy as hell. 1126 00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:16,375 I suggest we cancel the fireworks show immediately. 1127 00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:18,791 We ain't canceling a damn thing, Sergeant. 1128 00:54:18,875 --> 00:54:20,083 We got an unsolved mystery! 1129 00:54:20,166 --> 00:54:23,041 Eighty-five percent of the tourism dollars spent in this town 1130 00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,500 are spent on Halloween night. 1131 00:54:24,583 --> 00:54:28,625 And I'm not gonna let no high school peckerhead jeopardize that. 1132 00:54:28,708 --> 00:54:31,541 -I just think that-- -Trick-or-treat, smell my feet. 1133 00:54:31,625 --> 00:54:34,291 -I just think that you're not-- -Smell my feet. 1134 00:54:34,375 --> 00:54:37,250 -I just think that-- -Smell my feet. 1135 00:54:37,333 --> 00:54:38,625 [marching band continues playing] 1136 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:40,083 You really want me to smell them? 1137 00:54:41,625 --> 00:54:43,416 [owl hooting] 1138 00:54:44,958 --> 00:54:46,125 [dog barking in distance] 1139 00:54:47,708 --> 00:54:50,041 [distant howling] 1140 00:54:50,125 --> 00:54:51,500 Let's just go back, Danielle. 1141 00:54:51,583 --> 00:54:55,000 I don't want Mom to get home and see that Tommy left us by ourselves. 1142 00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:57,166 I think we'll all get in really big trouble for that. 1143 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:58,875 Are we even going the right way? 1144 00:55:03,166 --> 00:55:04,083 Excuse me, sir? 1145 00:55:05,208 --> 00:55:07,375 Do you know the quickest way to Wallace Orchard? 1146 00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:16,708 -♪ It was Halloween night at the castle… ♪ -Hey, handsome. Soup's ready. 1147 00:55:16,791 --> 00:55:20,583 One clam, one chicken noodle, and one split pea. 1148 00:55:21,083 --> 00:55:23,875 So, you seem a little stressed. I mean, what can I do to help ya out? 1149 00:55:23,958 --> 00:55:25,458 Maybe a glass of Chardonnay? 1150 00:55:25,541 --> 00:55:28,166 Well, to be honest with ya, I don't drink beer. 1151 00:55:28,250 --> 00:55:30,333 But do you have any silver bullets? 1152 00:55:30,416 --> 00:55:32,875 That is not on the menu tonight. 1153 00:55:32,958 --> 00:55:36,708 But I happen to be an excellent listener if you want to, you know, 1154 00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:38,500 share anything with me. 1155 00:55:39,333 --> 00:55:40,166 Okay. 1156 00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:42,625 We all have a purpose. 1157 00:55:43,291 --> 00:55:45,958 Some people's purpose is to make sure all the streets are clean. 1158 00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:47,083 Some people's purpose, 1159 00:55:47,166 --> 00:55:49,958 like Kenny Rogers', is to make sure there's great tunes on the radio 1160 00:55:50,041 --> 00:55:52,166 that we can all sing along with on road trips. 1161 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,083 Some people's purpose, like you, 1162 00:55:54,166 --> 00:55:57,875 are here to make sure that kids without parents end up with a mom anyways. 1163 00:55:57,958 --> 00:56:00,875 Who is nice and kind to 'em and makes them feel loved. 1164 00:56:00,958 --> 00:56:03,041 -You happen to have any A1 Sauce? -Yeah. 1165 00:56:03,833 --> 00:56:04,708 My whole life, 1166 00:56:04,791 --> 00:56:07,375 I felt my purpose was to make sure everybody 1167 00:56:07,458 --> 00:56:09,541 was safe and sound on Halloween. 1168 00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,083 But tonight, I have failed massively. 1169 00:56:12,166 --> 00:56:13,166 [thermos whirring] 1170 00:56:13,250 --> 00:56:17,333 Because a fine young man was abducted under my watch. 1171 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,625 -That's on me. -No. 1172 00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:20,708 Mmm. 1173 00:56:20,791 --> 00:56:22,666 [turns thermos off] 1174 00:56:22,750 --> 00:56:23,791 How can I help you? 1175 00:56:25,875 --> 00:56:28,333 You just did help me by listening to my story. 1176 00:56:30,291 --> 00:56:31,375 Be careful today. 1177 00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,416 Danger is afoot. 1178 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:36,708 Oh, well, I don't worry about me. I worry about my kids. 1179 00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,166 Called home. None of 'em picked up. 1180 00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:41,875 They're probably just watching a movie, though, and… 1181 00:56:41,958 --> 00:56:44,000 -Tommy's keeping an eye on them. -Tommy? 1182 00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:46,500 I'm sure he's been there the whole time. Without a doubt. 1183 00:56:47,125 --> 00:56:49,750 The night is young. Appreciate you being nice to me. 1184 00:56:49,833 --> 00:56:51,250 Of course, Hubie. 1185 00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,375 You're the best person I know. 1186 00:56:53,916 --> 00:56:57,333 You're always thinking of everyone else and never of yourself. 1187 00:56:57,958 --> 00:56:59,833 But I guess that's why you're a hero. 1188 00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,500 [giggles] 1189 00:57:06,583 --> 00:57:11,458 Did you see how scared Scooby was when that car started moving? [laughing] 1190 00:57:11,541 --> 00:57:14,208 -With his ping-pong paddle at the ready! -Oh, my God! 1191 00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:15,958 What a buffoon! 1192 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:19,041 [mocking Hubie's voice] Mr. Hennessy! Mr. Hennessy! 1193 00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,208 [screams] 1194 00:57:20,291 --> 00:57:21,250 [tires screech] 1195 00:57:23,625 --> 00:57:25,083 There's somebody in the road. 1196 00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:29,333 -Who the hell is that? -It's not moving. 1197 00:57:29,416 --> 00:57:30,791 Looks like a dummy. 1198 00:57:30,875 --> 00:57:33,208 You look like a dummy. Go out and get it out of the way. 1199 00:57:34,375 --> 00:57:35,208 Okay. 1200 00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,708 [puffs, inhales] 1201 00:57:38,791 --> 00:57:40,416 Now, see, that does it for me. 1202 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,375 You like that? 1203 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:42,833 No. 1204 00:57:45,250 --> 00:57:49,541 [open door alert dinging] 1205 00:58:00,375 --> 00:58:02,458 [text keys tapping] 1206 00:58:19,291 --> 00:58:20,208 Scarecrow? 1207 00:58:21,958 --> 00:58:23,041 [Mr. Hennessy screams] 1208 00:58:28,958 --> 00:58:29,791 Lester! 1209 00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:37,333 Lester! 1210 00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:41,875 I'm gonna kick your ass for this, Lester. 1211 00:58:45,125 --> 00:58:47,666 I swear to God, if you jump out of one of these bushes, 1212 00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:49,416 I'm gonna punch you in the face! 1213 00:58:57,291 --> 00:58:58,125 What the-- 1214 00:58:58,833 --> 00:58:59,666 Lester! 1215 00:58:59,750 --> 00:59:00,916 [panting] 1216 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,958 Where are you? 1217 00:59:02,041 --> 00:59:03,958 [screaming] 1218 00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,500 [grunting] 1219 00:59:09,541 --> 00:59:12,208 [Hubie] Valentine family, where are you? 1220 00:59:12,958 --> 00:59:13,833 I'm coming! 1221 00:59:14,625 --> 00:59:16,416 Danielle! Cooky! 1222 00:59:17,833 --> 00:59:20,958 I say, "Marco." 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