1
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,584
¶ I understand ¶
2
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,422
¶ I understand ¶
3
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:59,124
¶ Ladies, they love me
They know me ¶
4
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,192
¶ 'Cause I am the man ¶
5
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,528
¶ I-I-I know it's hard ¶
6
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,096
¶ For you to comprehend ¶
7
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:08,267
¶ I under-- I under--
I understand ¶
8
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,170
¶ I got the mojo
Ladies, they wanna
Hop on it like pogo ¶
9
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,205
¶ Haters act
Like they don't know
But they know though ¶
10
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,374
¶ Life is a dance
And this is my solo, uh ¶
11
00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:20,212
¶ Ladies, they love me
They know me
'Cause I am the man ¶
12
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,247
¶ I understand ¶
13
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,084
¶ I understand
I understand ¶
14
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:29,121
¶ I understand
I understand ¶
15
00:01:29,824 --> 00:01:33,525
¶ I am the man
I am the man ¶
16
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,294
¶ I understand ¶
17
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,210
-[knock on the door]
-[door opening]
18
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:55,147
[woman] Morning, bug.
You ready?
19
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,515
Let's get this show on the road.
20
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:04,189
-Give me a couple minutes, Mom?
-Not today.
You got early therapy.
21
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:07,392
-[man sighs]
-Alrighty, here we go.
22
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:13,298
That's one, two, buckle my bug.
23
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,135
[Mom]
And I don't know how many times
we can go through recycling.
24
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,636
You gotta break down your boxes.
25
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,139
You have to break down
your boxes, you know?
26
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,640
And also, the recycling,
it's ridiculous.
27
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:25,210
-Can you go around
just for today?
-I gotta get you clean.
28
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,913
-It's perfectly normal.
-You're right, Ma.
29
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:31,216
Twenty-four years old,
you're washing my balls.
It's perfectly normal.
30
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,619
It just seems very, very rude.
I mean, I don't know
how many times
31
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,221
you can email
and text and call.
32
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,207
You know, I just can't,
I can't go to everything.
33
00:02:38,208 --> 00:02:40,192
I actually don't like to go
to the public movie theaters
34
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:43,362
because you don't know about
bedbugs and stuff like that.
35
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:47,266
I don't have to listen
to any rude teenagers or people
talking to the screen.
36
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:52,204
And you know how sometimes
when people say something funny
during the trailer,
37
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:55,607
and then they start
really feeling their oats,
and they just keep it going,
38
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,442
you know what I mean?
They should just quit
while they're ahead,
39
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,779
but they just keep on yapping.
Careful.
40
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,355
-[Mo] Hey.
-[bus driver] Hey, Mo.
41
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,207
You have lovely hair.
42
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,576
[man] Thanks, man.
43
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,317
Ah!
44
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,420
-Good morning, Mo.
-Hey, Sarah, how's it going?
45
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,555
-Pretty good. How are you?
-Good.
46
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:47,292
Uhm, hey, did you do
this new schedule?
47
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,562
-I did.
-Oh, you accidentally put
the new guy with Becky.
48
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,732
-Wasn't an accident.
-Mo, Scotty's going
to freak out.
49
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,236
Yeah, well, he led me
into the ladies' room
at the movie theaters is why.
50
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,471
No. Were there
other people in there?
51
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,307
Not at first, but then I guess
some big movie let out,
52
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,977
the women just kept on coming
and coming and coming,
so I just stayed in there.
53
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,979
Then I guess
another movie let out.
It must have been 45 minutes.
54
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:08,447
I went to the bathroom
two times.
55
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,415
-This is revenge.
-Oh.
56
00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,753
-Hey, Scotty.
-Hi.
57
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,521
Hey, is that Scotty?
What's up, buddy?
58
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,258
-Who the hell's Matt?
-Mo did the schedule.
59
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,627
Mo, you blind douche fuck!
60
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,462
Is this about the ladies' room?
That was a joke.
61
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,330
Uhm, this is funnier.
62
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,800
Hey, I'm Matt Kwong.
I'm a new patient.
63
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:32,671
[Sarah] Oh, welcome.
Just sign in right here.
64
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:36,408
You're gonna
be with Becky in room one,
just right over there.
65
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,543
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
66
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,483
Excuse me.
67
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,737
Hi.
68
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:09,041
[music playing]
69
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,877
¶ I understand
I understand ¶
70
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,847
¶ I am the man
I am the man ¶
71
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,384
¶ I understand ¶
72
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,852
[man] Scotty. Morning.
73
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,722
What's the matter?
74
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,824
[man] Look alive, boys!
75
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:31,596
-All right, asshole,
we're even.
-[Mo laughs]
76
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,800
Uh, look at the bright side.
77
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,602
At least with Renaldo,
you don't pitch
a tent during therapy.
78
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,423
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
79
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,441
When Becky was stretching
you out last week,
Ronnie walked by,
80
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:46,111
-said you were sporting
a full-on panhandle.
-That cocksucker.
81
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,113
[Scotty] Come on,
let's see what you got,
let's see what you got.
82
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,716
-[Mo] Yeah! That's what
I'm talking about!
-[Scotty] Come on, Rick!
83
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,351
Steal second.
84
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,854
-Do you know
what you're saying?
-Nah, not really.
85
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,724
-[laughs] Not at all.
-[Mo laughs]
86
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,695
-Oh, you fucking kidding me?
-What's going on?
87
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,464
-[Scotty] Oh, my God.
-[Mo] What?
88
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,532
-[Scotty] I can't believe
this guy.
-Wait, where are you going?
89
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,434
Hey, yo, Biceps.
90
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,570
Just so we're clear,
there's a pecking order
around here.
91
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:14,106
The very top, me.
Down at the very bottom, you.
92
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:16,508
Becky's my physical therapist.
You get the hairy Spaniard.
93
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,113
I don't make the schedule, guy.
94
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,514
-Yo, yo, what are you doing?
-Say it! Becky's mine.
95
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,583
-What is wrong with you, man?
-Say it.
96
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,951
Yeah, yeah, Becky's yours.
97
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,788
-Shit.
-That's a grandma chair,
by the way.
98
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,923
You look fucking ridiculous
out here.
Get yourself a new chair.
99
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,797
-[people cheering]
-[Mo] What's happening?
Here we go.
100
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,668
[Mo] He gonna make it?
101
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,805
[people cheering]
102
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,643
-Great job.
-Thanks, baby.
103
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,812
Yeah.
104
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:58,917
[man] What are you looking at?
105
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,687
Sorry, man. no offense.
Just...
106
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,956
damn. Good for you.
107
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,162
[sighs] You got it bad, huh?
108
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,431
-For what?
-Blue balls.
109
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,833
Shit, man, try fossilized.
110
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,835
Yeah.
111
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,537
I got something for you.
112
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,840
Here, take this.
113
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,182
What is this?
114
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:32,184
The answer to your prayers.
115
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:33,518
You'll thank me later.
116
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,487
You will.
117
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:37,522
All right.
118
00:07:55,476 --> 00:08:00,245
Bonjour. My name is Philippe.
I am physically disabled.
119
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:04,549
For many years, I struggled
with sexual encounters.
120
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:09,988
It was really getting me down,
until I met a beautiful
professional like this one.
121
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:16,895
And then I decided
to open my own brothel
to help people like you.
122
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,765
Welcome to Le Chateau Paradis.
123
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,901
Come as you are.
124
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,904
[knock on the door]
125
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,712
-Good night, Mom.
-Good night, bug. I love you.
126
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:54,266
[sighs] See you next week,
gorgeous.
127
00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:58,036
-Stay out of trouble, killer.
-Oh, don't you tell me
what to do.
128
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:03,275
Yo, Biceps.
Hey, about last time, I'm sorry.
I was having an off day.
129
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:04,876
Yeah, don't sweat it.
130
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,045
-Matt, right?
-Yeah.
131
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,981
I'm Scotty. Let me buy you
a beer to make up for it.
132
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,785
-Nah, I got my mom with me.
-Yeah, me too.
We'll sit by ourselves.
133
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,921
It's important. I wanna talk
to you about something.
134
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,824
-You wanna-- move over.
-Yeah.
135
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:20,992
-You go first.
-Yep.
136
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:25,764
I was always
a straight-C student.
And that's a gentleman's C,
137
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:29,034
that's a gentleman C,
I was always a terrible,
terrible student.
138
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:31,570
Actually, on my SATs,
my math SAT...
139
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,907
-Forget them, cheers.
-Cheers.
140
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:51,356
Mm-hmm. Ah, that's nice.
141
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:55,760
-So, what happened to you?
-Wow, you don't beat
around the bush.
142
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,929
What's the point? You know
that's what everybody's
wondering anyway.
143
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,864
It's nothing to be
ashamed of. It's usually
a pretty good story.
144
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,333
I never said I was
ashamed of it.
145
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,968
-Don't you wanna know
why I am in this chair?
-No.
146
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,970
Congenital defect, baby.
I was born this way.
147
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,606
-My joints are for shit.
-What did you wanna
talk to me about?
148
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,140
Your sex life.
149
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:10,942
Uh-huh.
150
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:14,079
Come on, man.
What would you rather talk
about, interest rates?
151
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,916
-You're a virgin, right?
-Uh-- Wow, just--
152
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:21,019
That's a yes. Tell me
your junk still works 'cause
that would be a serious bummer.
153
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,088
No, it works.
It's just a little--
154
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:26,057
less predictable at times,
if you know what I mean.
155
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,096
-Do I know what you mean?
-Bro, I live
what you mean. Sip.
156
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,202
Oh.
157
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:44,743
-What's it to you?
-Well, besides my mouth,
158
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,812
about the only other thing
that works on my body
is my cock.
159
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,750
And I may be a cripple,
but I can still feel everything
and I got motherfucking needs,
160
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:52,884
you know what I mean?
161
00:10:55,922 --> 00:11:01,126
Anyway, what if I told you
there was a place for guys
like us to get seriously laid?
162
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,396
Don't look at me
like I'm a perv.
We're in the same boat, dude.
163
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:05,997
I'm just honest about it.
164
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,899
Now the place is up in Montreal.
165
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,201
I checked out the website,
LeChateauParadis.ca.
166
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,803
'Cause you know, Canada.
167
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:16,207
And let me tell you, man,
the chicks are spectacular.
168
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,878
Why are you telling me all this?
169
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,848
Me and this blind dude, Mo,
from the clinic, are gonna go,
170
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,950
but we need one more guy
to split the cost of the van.
171
00:11:26,420 --> 00:11:27,852
What, you're gonna drive there?
172
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,691
I priced the whole thing out
with a nurse driver.
173
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,694
The van fits three passengers,
plus chairs and gear.
174
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:38,129
We tell our parents
we're going up
to the Great Lakes or some shit,
175
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:42,167
and instead we do a border run
for a few days of getting
our knobs polished
176
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,936
by French-Canadian goddesses.
Sip.
177
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,844
-So, what do you say?
Are you in or are you in?
-I'm definitely out.
178
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:57,782
-Did you hear the part about
getting your knob polished?
-Mm-hmm.
179
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:01,252
Thanks for the offer,
but as much as it
may surprise you,
180
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,156
-I have a girlfriend.
-Seriously?
181
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,725
Yeah. Good luck on your trip.
182
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:10,795
-Take pictures.
-She hot?
Does she have cute friends?
183
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,832
Wait, come on man,
we could double date.
Help a brother out.
184
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:17,736
Shit.
185
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,279
[girl laughing]
186
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,137
So, you're gonna make
a wish when this falls off
or something?
187
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:53,772
Wanna guess
what I'm gonna wish for?
188
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,274
Uhm, that--
189
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,144
[girl] Matt.
190
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:03,214
-I thought you had a final.
-I got out early.
191
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,020
Uh, this is Bobby.
192
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,356
-We have Bio together.
-We were just studying.
193
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,126
I-I didn't realize you, uh--
194
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,062
Uhm--
195
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:23,067
You didn't realize what?
196
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,805
-Uh--
-That, uh--
197
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,340
Uh, uh--
198
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:33,344
Yeah, oh, you didn't realize
that she had a boyfriend.
That's what you're getting at.
199
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:36,147
No, I mean, she talks
about you all the time.
200
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,116
Oh.
201
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,051
Is that right?
202
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,124
I should get to class.
I'll call you later.
203
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,059
For the exam, I mean.
204
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,930
Sure, hope it's a speech class.
205
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,835
-We were just studying.
-No, don't insult me.
206
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:58,837
Please.
207
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,439
You know, I gave you an out
208
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,909
-when this all started.
-I didn't want out, Matt.
209
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,211
I had options too, you know.
210
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,881
But I waited for you.
211
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,386
I have to start thinking
about my future.
212
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:36,274
Bonjour. My name is Philippe.
213
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,150
-Jamie, can't you knock?
-Mom says dinner
in five minutes.
214
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,289
-Nice pictures by the way.
-Out.
215
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,464
What do you guys think about...
216
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,135
me going on a road trip
with some guys up north,
217
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,470
maybe around the Great Lakes?
218
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:14,312
Well, it seems
hardly like a good time, Matty,
219
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,181
with everything
that's going on.
220
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,117
Well, I mean, that's
exactly why I wanna go.
221
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,351
It seems
like I'm doing nothing
222
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,052
but going to doctors
and therapy.
223
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,960
We're going up to Grandma's
for a long weekend next month.
224
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,296
You could invite Jennifer.
225
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:32,997
[sighs]
226
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,435
I asked to go on a road trip
with some guys,
227
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:41,272
and you counter
with a weekend at Grandma's.
228
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,146
Well, we're gonna have to say
no on this one, Matty.
229
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,481
I'm sorry.
230
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,260
[pants]
231
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,432
[grunts]
232
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,177
[music playing]
233
00:16:54,748 --> 00:16:57,215
¶ Half man and half machine ¶
234
00:16:57,217 --> 00:17:00,551
¶ Not talking about the chair
But what's in between
My legs ¶
235
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,221
¶ Girl, take your time
You don't need to be quick ¶
236
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,523
¶ Come and get your some
Of this quadriplegic ¶
237
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,525
-What the fuck?
-You have a visitor.
238
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,097
What's up?
239
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,469
I like these ferns.
240
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,639
Yeah, they're, uh--
241
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:27,111
-Yeah, they're, you know.
-Listen, I've been thinking
about your idea.
242
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,447
My parents say it's a no-go.
243
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,790
Now that our moms talk,
if we were to do this,
244
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:42,427
-it has to be totally
black ops, you follow?
-I think so, yeah.
245
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,228
It means your mom
can't help you pack,
246
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,230
she can't help you pay for it.
247
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,232
Okay, might need
a cheaper driver.
248
00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:50,568
I've been saving up some money
for an iPad comm system,
249
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,403
but fucking honeys
come first.
250
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,140
I say we go sooner,
like next week.
251
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,410
Whoa. Why the rush?
252
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,145
You-- you never know.
253
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:04,816
I mean, if we're gonna do this,
let's do it.
254
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,451
Okay.
What about your girlfriend?
255
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:11,355
Just get Mo over here.
Let's start planning.
256
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,158
-Mo?
-Yeah, Mo.
257
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,160
Your friend Mo.
You said he was down, right?
258
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,296
Mo, yeah, yeah, yeah,
no, he's down.
259
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,597
He's probably most likely down.
260
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,500
He's probably most likely down.
What do you mean?
261
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,403
I haven't exactly asked him yet.
262
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,306
-You haven't asked him yet?!
-Shh! Keep it down.
263
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,408
I was worried if there were
too many variables,
you'd say no.
264
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,143
Then if you said yes,
I'd have time to work on Mo.
265
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,995
Now all of a sudden,
you're in a big fucking hurry,
266
00:18:33,996 --> 00:18:35,846
and I don't have
everything worked out just yet.
But it's fine.
267
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:39,283
I'll get Mo on the horn,
just convince him to go.
268
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,720
-[sighs]
-Hey, look at me, trust
me. I can handle Mo.
269
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:49,193
[whispering]
A brothel in Quebec?
What are you-- no way!
270
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,295
Could you take your tampon out
for half a goddamn minute
271
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,947
while we tell you the details
at least?
272
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,598
Let me tell you
a little something
about Canada.
273
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,567
Fact: The Canadian government
has been cracking down
274
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,270
on erotic massage parlors
since 2014.
275
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:02,406
Fact: Arrested sex workers
have tripled
in the last two years.
276
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:06,344
Fact: It's only illegal
to buy sexual services.
You can still make donations.
277
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,480
I looked this up too.
And fact: When's the last
time you got laid, Mo?
278
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:12,216
-Oh, that's right, never.
-Oh, well unlike you Scotty,
279
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:15,887
that's not all I ever think
about. What I do think
about is logistics.
280
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:18,356
Do you know this would take
months, months of planning?
281
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,425
-Of course, you don't know that.
-Me and Biceps have planned
the whole route.
282
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,195
-I fucking hate that name.
-We got hotel rooms booked
at every stop.
283
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,531
-What? No!
-We budgeted all the meals.
Why are you undermining me?
284
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,633
You are making us look
fucking weak right now.
285
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,668
-Shut the fuck up!
-Look, Mo, Mo, look, listen.
286
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:34,906
Part of the fun is that this
is spontaneous, okay?
287
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:38,176
When's the last time you
did something kind of crazy?
288
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:42,280
Yeah, look, here's the thing.
I don't do spontaneous things.
That's not my thing.
289
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,514
I don't even know
why you need me.
290
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,551
The van fits three,
but only two wheelchairs,
291
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,619
and I don't happen to know
any other disabled virgins
292
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,321
with working legs
and enough cash.
293
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,357
You know what?
Nice meeting you, Muscles.
294
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,627
-Go fuck yourself, Scotty.
-Wow.
295
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,664
-You are horrible at this.
-No, no, you know what?
296
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,599
You're a fucking mule.
You're so stubborn.
297
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,668
You gotta know when you lost
somebody. He's out.
298
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,536
I'll put an ad out
on Craigslist
or something.
299
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,972
-Let's go.
-Yeah, do a Craigslist ad.
300
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,375
-Virgins looking
for more virgins.
-I don't even want you to come.
301
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,744
-We're gonna have a great time.
Go fuck yourself.
-Great sales pitch,
302
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,513
and then now
you're getting on Craigslist.
303
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,415
Mo, Mo, let me talk
to you for a second.
304
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,951
It's like he went
to business school.
Guy just knows what he's doing.
305
00:20:19,953 --> 00:20:24,422
-Fucking prick.
-First of all,
my sincerest apologies.
306
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,425
How you are friends
with that guy
is totally beyond me.
307
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:30,561
Okay, look, all that stuff
about the brothel,
about the getting laid,
308
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,530
all that stuff,
that's Scotty, okay?
309
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,365
That's not me.
What I'm proposing--
310
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:39,270
What we're proposing is a trip
away from Littleton.
311
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:43,741
Okay? With just us guys,
away from parents,
from the clinics, from the doc--
312
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,512
It's just, I don't know
about you,
313
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:50,781
okay, but I--
314
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,652
I need to get out.
315
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,295
I could use a field trip.
316
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,665
It's like a--
317
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:09,734
It's like a road trip.
318
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,539
Promise you won't do
anything illegal?
319
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,277
Did I get to him?
320
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,345
[door opening]
321
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:25,349
Damn it, Jamie. How many times
do I have to tell you?
322
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,552
Hey, hey.
323
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,596
What's wrong?
324
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:39,563
I don't wanna fight
with you anymore.
325
00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:46,570
Hey, can I ask you something?
326
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:49,707
It's gotta be a secret though.
327
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:52,443
You can't tell Mom and Dad.
328
00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,893
[grunts] Fuck.
329
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:17,868
Yo, sent you the itinerary.
330
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,571
Print it out, read
the file, leave no trace.
331
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:22,606
Found us a cheaper driver.
His name is Sam.
332
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,875
Van looks like shit,
but the price is right.
333
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:26,644
Make sure he
has a valid passport.
334
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:28,512
We don't wanna any snafus
at the border.
335
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:31,849
What's a snafu?
336
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,969
-What about this one?
-Are you kidding? That's ugly.
337
00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:38,088
What does that--
Jamaica. It says Jamaica. What
am I gonna do with Jamaica?
338
00:22:38,091 --> 00:22:41,892
-I can't read your fucking
shirt, Scotty.
-That's true. Put it in the bag.
339
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,834
[phone ringing]
340
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:55,506
-Yup.
-Operation Copulation is a go.
341
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,776
We're not calling it that.
See you at six.
342
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:03,581
I know it seems silly,
but I'd like to think
I'm watching it in a wry eye,
343
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:06,617
with an ironic eye,
not earnestly.
344
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:09,887
Here, not earnestly watch.
I'm so sorry. Here.
345
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:15,659
Oh, he did not give her a rose.
You gotta be shitting me.
346
00:23:18,131 --> 00:23:20,531
Goddamn it, Mom!
How hard is it
to aim for my mouth?
347
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:24,902
I'm sorry! But did you
see who he kept?
Total bitch, total bitch.
348
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:27,905
I'm sorry! I'm just compelled
to watch shows I hate.
349
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:32,510
-I'll eat tomorrow, I guess.
-Come back. Come on.
350
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:47,425
-[knock on the door]
-Hey, bug, you can't sleep
in your chair.
351
00:23:47,894 --> 00:23:48,959
Leave me alone.
352
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:11,582
-Set alarm for five a.m.
-[phone] Sorry,
I'm not sure I understand.
353
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:18,989
-Set alarm for five a.m.
-I set an alarm for five a.m.
354
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:26,997
Okay.
355
00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:31,602
Light off.
356
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:40,878
[alarm beeping]
357
00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:47,017
[grunts]
358
00:24:57,730 --> 00:25:00,764
-Seriously?
-To remind you of me.
359
00:25:03,769 --> 00:25:04,835
Fuck.
360
00:25:26,526 --> 00:25:28,792
-Matt?
-Yeah. Where's--
where's Scotty?
361
00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:30,661
I don't know, man. He's late.
362
00:25:30,663 --> 00:25:32,630
This is a horrible idea.
363
00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,899
He's not reliable.
I'll tell you that much.
364
00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:38,769
You think it ends here?
Big shocker, huh?
365
00:25:38,771 --> 00:25:40,738
I'm worried. If he's gonna
be tardy all over the place,
366
00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:41,839
-it's probably messed--
-Shit.
367
00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:43,073
What?
368
00:25:45,578 --> 00:25:47,811
I guess Sam's a woman?
369
00:25:49,282 --> 00:25:51,282
-[Mo] Sam the driver?
-[Matt] Sam the driver
is a woman.
370
00:25:51,284 --> 00:25:53,751
We can't do this with a woman.
I'm not going to a brothel
with a woman.
371
00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:54,852
Well, it's too late to cancel.
372
00:25:54,854 --> 00:25:58,889
[Mo] I can't do this
with a woman. I can't go
to a brothel with a woman.
373
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,942
You know what?
Everything's messed up here.
374
00:26:01,943 --> 00:26:04,994
-Scotty's not here,
we got a woman for a driver--
-Shh. Hi, Sam.
375
00:26:05,798 --> 00:26:08,599
-Hey, is that Sam? Hey.
-Thank you.
376
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:11,769
Looking forward
to our trip together.
I'm Mo, this--
377
00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:15,839
-She's friendly.
-Yeah, she's chill.
378
00:26:15,841 --> 00:26:17,875
-Yeah, all the signs
are real positive.
-Yeah, let's go, let's go.
379
00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,944
-Yeah, we're off
to a great start.
-Hey, Sam?
380
00:26:19,946 --> 00:26:22,713
[Matt]
We need one extra stop, please.
381
00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:32,590
Fuck!
382
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:41,198
[grunts]
383
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:50,207
Come on. Come on. Come on!
384
00:26:51,344 --> 00:26:53,143
[Matt] Right here on the right.
Just pull up to the curb.
385
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,133
[Mo] I told him
to set two alarms.
386
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,102
He's got no respect
for other people's time.
387
00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:21,071
I told him we're on a schedule.
Do not be late. Be early.
388
00:27:38,391 --> 00:27:40,680
Fuck!
389
00:27:40,681 --> 00:27:42,970
It was his plan.
But he doesn't care.
He doesn't have respect.
390
00:27:42,971 --> 00:27:45,260
-Yo, if he chickened out,
we have to pay for it.
-I'm not paying for it.
391
00:27:46,866 --> 00:27:47,931
There he is.
392
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:02,046
-[Mo] Where have you been?
-Grab my pouch, on the ground.
393
00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:04,748
Who the hell are you? Matt.
394
00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:06,684
-Yeah, just get in.
-Who the hell is she?
395
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:09,019
-[Mo] I told you
to set two alarms.
-I thought we had a guy driver.
396
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,155
-I told you we're
on a tight schedule.
-You're ramming me.
397
00:28:11,157 --> 00:28:14,191
-I'm not ramming you. Get back.
-[Mo] You have no respect
for anyone else's time.
398
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,795
-Shut up! I had a thing.
-[Mo] You're the most unreliable
person I've ever met in my life.
399
00:28:17,797 --> 00:28:19,229
-[Matt] What's with you ramming
into me all the time?
-[Scotty] Just move back.
400
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,965
[Matt] Just hold on.
I'm just gonna walk.
401
00:28:21,967 --> 00:28:23,767
Whoo! [laughs]
402
00:28:25,771 --> 00:28:27,204
-Whoo!
-Whoo!
403
00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:33,911
-Road trip!
-Field trip!
404
00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:36,113
Road trip! Road trip.
405
00:28:41,987 --> 00:28:43,320
Scotty.
406
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,769
[phone ringing]
407
00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:03,774
-Ah, shit, it's my parents.
-What?
408
00:29:03,776 --> 00:29:05,943
-It's my parents.
-Take mine out, will you?
409
00:29:05,945 --> 00:29:07,111
-Wait, what happened?
-Where is it?
410
00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:08,278
It's in the pouch.
411
00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:15,219
-Dude, it's your mom too.
-Shit. Toss it.
412
00:29:15,221 --> 00:29:17,855
-What?
-Seriously, toss it out
the window. They can track us.
413
00:29:17,857 --> 00:29:19,256
It's the cost of freedom.
Do it.
414
00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,229
-Mo, you too.
-Did he just throw
his phone out?
415
00:29:25,231 --> 00:29:26,964
-[Scotty] Mo, do it!
-I'm not throwing my phone out!
416
00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:29,367
-[Matt] Mo, throw it.
-[Scotty] Mo, throw
your phone out!
417
00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:31,769
-My mom knows you.
She knows your mom.
-It's a brand-new phone, man!
418
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,170
-You know-- Fine!
-[Scotty] Do it!
419
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,075
What was that?
420
00:29:38,077 --> 00:29:39,977
It's my sim card.
I threw out my sim card.
421
00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:41,845
-Fuck, that's a better idea.
-[Mo] So stupid.
422
00:29:47,820 --> 00:29:49,353
-Okay.
-What's happening?
Why are we stopping?
423
00:29:52,258 --> 00:29:54,358
-Hey.
-What the fuck is going on here?
424
00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:58,128
We're taking a trip.
The rest is none
of your business.
425
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,330
-Who is this chick, dude?
-None of my business?
426
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:05,536
You know what? It actually is
my business if you're
not supposed to go.
427
00:30:05,538 --> 00:30:07,672
Hey, we're all adults
here, sweetheart.
428
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,807
What, just because I'm
in a chair means I can't make
a decision for myself?
429
00:30:09,809 --> 00:30:12,910
-I'm sorry.
Who the fuck is sweetheart?
-Scotty.
430
00:30:12,912 --> 00:30:14,344
No, no, no. I wanna hear
what she has to say.
431
00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:16,597
Go on, sweetheart,
what are you gonna say?
432
00:30:16,598 --> 00:30:18,849
Okay, great, so I'm sweetheart.
Let me tell you something, okay?
433
00:30:18,851 --> 00:30:22,152
You call me sweetheart one
more time, I'm gonna bust
you in your fucking face.
434
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:24,121
And I don't give a shit
about your bitch-ass chair.
435
00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:28,091
Huh? Huh?
436
00:30:29,595 --> 00:30:32,996
All right, no, that's cool
because I'm gonna refund
half of y'all goddamn money
437
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,188
because I don't need none
of this bullshit.
438
00:30:35,189 --> 00:30:37,379
I'm gonna drop
y'all back and go about
my goddamn business.
439
00:30:37,380 --> 00:30:39,570
[Mo] No, no, Sam, Sam,
I'm sorry. Please,
just listen to me for a second.
440
00:30:39,572 --> 00:30:41,905
I'm so sorry about Scotty.
Forget him, okay?
441
00:30:41,907 --> 00:30:43,974
Look, how about this?
442
00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:46,343
How about to make up for the
stress of this departure,
443
00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:49,847
we give you
a little extra money,
444
00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:52,916
as long as you agree
to maybe keep moving forward?
445
00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:54,852
And why the secrecy?
446
00:30:56,222 --> 00:30:57,287
Look.
447
00:30:57,289 --> 00:31:00,224
Our parents are very
good people, but...
448
00:31:01,927 --> 00:31:03,060
You know, they don't really--
449
00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:05,863
They can be
a little overbearing.
450
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:09,116
I'm thirty-five years old, Sam.
451
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,935
I've never been on a trip
without my mom,
much less a real field trip.
452
00:31:12,605 --> 00:31:15,172
And honestly, if it was up
to my mom, I don't know
that I ever would.
453
00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:18,008
Please, I need this, Sam.
454
00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:22,145
Am I gonna get any more bullshit
from sweetheart back there?
455
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:25,115
-Oh, I'm sweetheart now?
-Yes.
456
00:31:25,117 --> 00:31:28,051
-So, sweetheart,
you gonna be a problem?
-Scotty.
457
00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:33,423
-I'm good.
-Fucking better be.
458
00:31:35,294 --> 00:31:38,095
Jamie, pumpkin,
this is not a joke.
459
00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,931
Your brother's in no condition
to be traveling.
Now where did they go?
460
00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:44,234
-I'll take your bike
away for a month.
-Honey, please answer us.
461
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:47,671
-And your American Girl dolls.
-Matty may need our help
right now, sweetie.
462
00:31:47,673 --> 00:31:49,907
-And your phone.
-What?
463
00:31:50,643 --> 00:31:54,678
Okay, fine.
They went up north.
That's all I know.
464
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,447
[phone ringing]
465
00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,984
-Hello?
-Roger, it's Liz.
466
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:02,653
I know where they're
staying tonight.
467
00:32:02,655 --> 00:32:05,989
¶ I stepped in this bitch
Like where's my damn crown ¶
468
00:32:05,991 --> 00:32:08,692
¶ Never talk back, bitch
I'm the king now ¶
469
00:32:08,694 --> 00:32:12,296
¶ If you can't
Back the shit talk
Calm your ass down ¶
470
00:32:12,298 --> 00:32:15,198
¶ Can't take this shit talk
Calm your ass down ¶
471
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,402
¶ Hella sarcastic crass
And ass backwards ¶
472
00:32:18,404 --> 00:32:21,405
¶ You can get your ass kicked
Please don't get dramatic ¶
473
00:32:21,407 --> 00:32:24,942
¶ Motherfuck the whole earth
Make the ho climactic ¶
474
00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:27,311
[Sam] All right, guys.
475
00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:33,216
All right, who's paying?
476
00:32:37,056 --> 00:32:38,121
I'll get this one.
477
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,260
Thank you.
478
00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:47,331
Don't buy any food
because packed sandwiches
for lunch.
479
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:50,000
Okay, but I'm gonna buy
some vacation candy.
Do you want some?
480
00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:54,004
I can't do sweets, but have
them put forty on pump three.
481
00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:56,106
All right, it's your vacation.
482
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:59,109
Hey, yo, Mo, you going in?
Score me a nudie mag, dude.
483
00:32:59,445 --> 00:33:01,445
What? No, no.
484
00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:04,448
-Goddamn it, Mo!
-No, man, I wouldn't even know
which one it is, okay?
485
00:33:04,450 --> 00:33:06,316
Top shelf on the magazine rack,
covered in plastic.
486
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:09,219
-I'm not picky.
Grab whichever one you want.
-[sighs]
487
00:33:35,314 --> 00:33:36,346
[Mo] What's up?
488
00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:38,237
[Scotty keeps singing]
489
00:33:38,238 --> 00:33:40,127
¶ Now I don't need
Distractions ¶
490
00:33:40,128 --> 00:33:42,017
¶ Semiautomatic
There's bullet holes
In my alley ¶
491
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:44,755
¶ Yeah, I'm feeling my stuff
And I got room
For much more bragging ¶
492
00:33:44,757 --> 00:33:48,125
¶ Hey, I seen a honey last year
Money bag it ¶
493
00:33:48,127 --> 00:33:51,228
¶ Nah, they be on my dick
Gotta make her beg
Bfore she can have it ¶
494
00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:54,398
¶ My people win regardless
Got great to start
from starving ¶
495
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,501
¶ I sold a million seats
Now I'm just waiting
for that harvest ¶
496
00:33:57,503 --> 00:34:00,504
¶ I been climbing
You don't know how long
It took me so now ¶
497
00:34:00,506 --> 00:34:03,373
¶ I'm gonna have to grab
The whole world by the pussy ¶
498
00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:06,643
I need you to stop. Forever.
499
00:34:11,784 --> 00:34:15,352
Mo, you fucking moron.
A bridal magazine?
500
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:18,355
-It's a bridal magazine?
-What the hell am I supposed
to do with a--
501
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:23,126
Actually, I can make this work.
502
00:34:29,134 --> 00:34:32,602
You guys, go get
yourselves some dinner.
I'm gonna check us in.
503
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:34,638
But first I'm gonna
need my per diem.
504
00:34:35,541 --> 00:34:37,140
I got gas.
505
00:34:37,142 --> 00:34:40,510
-[Scotty] I got it. In my pouch.
-Okay.
506
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:46,516
Now we agreed on 50,
507
00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:50,854
but we also agreed
that I would be getting extra
508
00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:54,091
for dealing
with all that bullshit
I dealt with earlier.
509
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:58,228
Great. I will take the hundred.
510
00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:00,297
Put it right in the bank.
511
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,266
Have a nice dinner.
512
00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:07,237
I really believe
I would be just as much a virgin
513
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,840
-even if I could see perfectly.
-No, I hundred percent
agree with you.
514
00:35:09,842 --> 00:35:12,109
20/20 vision,
I'd still have zero sex.
515
00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:13,877
You know what? A toast.
Can we make a toast right now?
516
00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:16,313
-Yes, we can.
-It's just who I am.
517
00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:19,282
-Hey, I'm making a toast.
-We're making a toast.
518
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:21,118
We're making a toast. Drinks up.
519
00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:24,387
To our road trip.
520
00:35:25,124 --> 00:35:28,525
No, no, no, our--
To our pilgrimage.
521
00:35:29,595 --> 00:35:33,330
And to the bevy
of beauties awaiting us
at Le Chateau Paradis.
522
00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:35,365
Or paradise in French, right?
523
00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:38,401
-It means heaven.
-It's heaven. It means heaven.
524
00:35:38,403 --> 00:35:40,537
-What does?
-Paradis, heaven.
525
00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:43,273
Whatever, man. Mo, it's
my toast, and I'm saying--
526
00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:44,608
-It's an inaccurate toast.
-For the sake of this--
you know what?
527
00:35:44,610 --> 00:35:45,909
I wish you were mute
instead of blind.
528
00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:48,345
Guys, guys, guys,
come on, come on. Come on now.
529
00:35:48,347 --> 00:35:51,314
-Okay, okay,
but most importantly--
-Yeah.
530
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:52,549
to our boners.
531
00:35:53,218 --> 00:35:54,684
Scotty, shh.
532
00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:57,554
I'm having a moment.
Can I have it?
533
00:35:57,556 --> 00:35:59,222
You guys never
let me have a moment.
534
00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:00,590
You're always interrupting
me and cutting me off.
535
00:36:00,592 --> 00:36:02,626
You can have your moment.
You can have your moment.
536
00:36:02,628 --> 00:36:04,261
Can we just drink
the fucking beer, man?
537
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:05,428
-Indoor voice, man.
-Okay, fine, indoor.
538
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:08,298
Shh, okay, okay, okay.
All right, quiet.
539
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:09,699
To our boners!
540
00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:16,306
For though our sight
may have faltered,
our legs given out,
541
00:36:16,308 --> 00:36:18,642
our joints railed against us,
542
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:24,214
our cocks stand strong
and ready to serve us
543
00:36:24,216 --> 00:36:26,483
-in the pursuit
of life and liberty--
-Let's wrap it up.
544
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:29,753
and the chase of the
inevitable hoo-hoo,
545
00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:32,722
the ineffable hoo-hoo,
546
00:36:32,724 --> 00:36:37,627
to old one-eye,
may he stand tall-- go ahead,
get ready to cheer.
547
00:36:37,629 --> 00:36:40,664
may he stand tall--
I'm almost done--
and do us proud.
548
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:44,334
-Huh? Yeah.
-We're sorry.
549
00:36:45,237 --> 00:36:47,237
We're not sorry.
550
00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:49,238
-I'm so glad I can't see this.
-None of us is sorry.
Eat your food.
551
00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:52,709
Okay. What do you
wanna sleep in?
552
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:55,212
Oh, I free-ball.
I like letting my boys breathe.
553
00:36:57,950 --> 00:37:00,417
-Got sweats in my bag.
-Sweats in your bag, okay.
554
00:37:00,686 --> 00:37:03,553
-Hey, quick game
before lights out?
-Yeah, sure.
555
00:37:06,425 --> 00:37:12,262
-You okay?
-Uh, yeah, I'm fine.
I just got a little bit dizzy.
556
00:37:12,264 --> 00:37:14,798
Happens when I drop chaff
for the ladies.
557
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,270
-Sam?
-What?
558
00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:22,305
Sam? Holy shit! Sam!
559
00:37:22,307 --> 00:37:23,640
-[Matt] What's going on?
-Sam!
560
00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:24,974
-Check her pulse. Is she dead?
-[Mo] What's happening?
561
00:37:24,977 --> 00:37:27,510
-Sam. Shit.
-No, she just passed out.
562
00:37:27,512 --> 00:37:29,312
Mo, call 911, call 911.
563
00:37:29,314 --> 00:37:32,682
Uh, well, don't just sit there.
Give her CPR or something!
564
00:37:32,684 --> 00:37:35,352
You don't give CPR to someone
who's breathing, dipshit.
565
00:37:35,354 --> 00:37:36,886
-I don't know!
-Mo, Mo, I'll handle it.
Just help her out.
566
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:45,462
-[Scotty] Easy, watch her head,
watch her head.
-Oh fuck! She's--
567
00:37:45,464 --> 00:37:46,730
[Mo] Sam.
568
00:37:49,701 --> 00:37:51,034
Those are her tits!
What are you doing?
569
00:37:51,036 --> 00:37:52,435
You told me to help,
I'm trying to help!
570
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,921
Well, don't cop a feel! Jesus!
571
00:37:54,922 --> 00:37:57,406
Hi. Um, uh, I need an ambulance
in room 103, please.
572
00:37:57,409 --> 00:37:59,709
-Now you're smothering her.
-Shut the fuck up.
573
00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:02,012
-[Mo] Her heart's racing.
-That's probably you.
574
00:38:02,014 --> 00:38:04,314
[siren wails]
575
00:38:04,316 --> 00:38:07,384
[doctor] She has
acute hypoglycemia.
She's diabetic.
576
00:38:07,386 --> 00:38:09,653
She'll be fine, but we're gonna
take her in as a precaution.
577
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:11,288
You guys okay without her?
578
00:38:14,359 --> 00:38:18,795
Yeah. Yeah, we'll be okay.
Um, when will she be back?
579
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:22,299
We'll probably keep
her overnight.
She'll be back in the morning.
580
00:38:23,669 --> 00:38:24,734
Thank you.
581
00:38:30,509 --> 00:38:34,577
-[sighs]
-[siren wails]
582
00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:38,548
Relax, it's over.
Everyone lived.
583
00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:41,451
What if she's not okay, man?
What if she doesn't come back?
584
00:38:41,453 --> 00:38:43,853
We're not stranded
in the wilderness.
We're in a two-star motel.
585
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:46,790
I guarantee you they have
porn on these TVs.
586
00:38:46,792 --> 00:38:50,060
We can take care of each
other for one night,
help each other out, yeah?
587
00:38:50,062 --> 00:38:53,396
Yes! Unlimited adult
content, 12.99.
588
00:38:53,398 --> 00:38:54,965
Don't waste our money
on that, please.
589
00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:56,533
-[Mo] I'm not watching
that with you.
-God, I wish I could jerk off.
590
00:38:56,535 --> 00:38:59,602
-You have no idea
how lucky you are.
-Ah, shit!
591
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:02,372
Sam has the room keys.
592
00:39:04,343 --> 00:39:05,875
I have these car keys though.
That's useful.
593
00:39:07,412 --> 00:39:09,779
-I'm gonna go down to the lobby.
-[Scotty] I'm ordering the porn!
594
00:39:12,484 --> 00:39:13,550
Mo, grab the remote.
595
00:39:15,420 --> 00:39:17,887
Mo? Hey, Mo, you know
what'll make you feel better?
596
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:20,623
Unlimited adult content, 12.99.
597
00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:23,760
Mo, are you crying?
598
00:39:25,397 --> 00:39:27,364
Scotty. [clears throat]
599
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,466
I'm gonna take that remote,
600
00:39:30,502 --> 00:39:31,901
and I'm gonna beat
your dick with it.
601
00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:34,637
Here you go.
602
00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:38,842
And don't forget to fill out
that survey that we sent you
603
00:39:38,844 --> 00:39:40,510
with the email confirmation.
604
00:39:40,512 --> 00:39:42,479
You can get a free TV dinner
605
00:39:42,481 --> 00:39:43,646
from the vending machine.
606
00:39:44,149 --> 00:39:45,849
-Okay, thanks.
-No problem.
607
00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:51,621
Hey, when did you
send the email?
608
00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:53,857
Uh, you should have got
it this morning.
609
00:39:53,859 --> 00:39:55,959
We just sent it
to the email we had on file.
610
00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:58,895
What's the squishy sound?
611
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:01,664
It's lube mixed with pu--
612
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:03,566
She brought lube?
613
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:06,603
Scotty, does your mom have
access to your email?
614
00:40:06,605 --> 00:40:08,405
Yeah, but I deleted everything.
Scorched earth.
615
00:40:08,407 --> 00:40:10,607
Hey, check this out.
We're watching Anal Therapy III.
616
00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:13,743
This place, they sent you
an email confirmation
this morning.
617
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:16,613
[sex sound]
618
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:18,415
Shit, my mom
will definitely check.
619
00:40:18,417 --> 00:40:20,667
Littleton is nine
hours from here.
620
00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:22,918
If they received the email
this morning, that means
right now, they'd be around...
621
00:40:25,157 --> 00:40:27,991
-Shit.
-This is real bad. We gotta go.
622
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,094
We gotta go right now.
623
00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:33,429
We're five minutes away.
Yeah, Liz, next right,
next right.
624
00:40:33,899 --> 00:40:36,666
Okay, well, I'll call
you from there, okay?
When we get there.
625
00:40:37,436 --> 00:40:38,601
I'll see if we can get us a cab.
626
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:39,869
My chair can't fit in a cab,
come on!
627
00:40:39,871 --> 00:40:41,471
-Where are we going?
-To the van.
628
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:43,773
Scotty. Hey, not to nitpick,
629
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,575
but what are we gonna do
when we get to the van?
630
00:40:48,613 --> 00:40:49,746
All right.
631
00:40:49,748 --> 00:40:52,215
You guys realize
I'm blind, right?
632
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,884
-Yeah, just find
the brake. I got this.
-Okay, okay, what do I do?
633
00:40:54,886 --> 00:40:56,920
-On the floor, Mo.
-Mo, on the floor.
634
00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:58,788
I was just getting another--
635
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:01,491
-Okay. Your right foot
on the left pedal.
-Right, of course, right.
636
00:41:01,493 --> 00:41:02,692
-Right foot.
-No, I got it, right.
637
00:41:02,694 --> 00:41:04,961
You got it? Okay.
This is a terrible idea.
638
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:07,797
-You got a better one?
-Please don't make me
drive, guys, please.
639
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:09,999
Mo, it's okay.
Okay, so right foot on
left pedal, right?
640
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:13,870
That's home base,
so whenever I say go home,
that's your home base.
641
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,973
-Go home, got it. Okay?
-Whenever in doubt, go home.
642
00:41:16,975 --> 00:41:19,509
-Go home.
-[Matt] Okay?
643
00:41:19,511 --> 00:41:21,644
-Bogey at 10 o'clock.
-Mo, Mo, we gotta go.
644
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,013
You can do this, okay?
Scotty, give him
some fucking encouragement.
645
00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:25,882
-Don't fucking kill us, Mo.
-[Matt] Scotty!
646
00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:27,016
Sorry, sorry.
647
00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,985
You're gonna be great, Mo.
648
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:30,820
Just, you know, most people
drive like they're blind anyway,
649
00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:32,555
so you got this in the bag.
650
00:41:32,557 --> 00:41:34,691
Okay, Mo, I'm gonna put
the car into gear,
651
00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:42,732
and on my signal, I want you
to slowly take your right foot
off the brake, on my signal.
652
00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,567
-Okay.
-Okay?
653
00:41:44,569 --> 00:41:47,904
Now slowly take your right foot
off the brake now.
654
00:41:50,575 --> 00:41:53,276
You're doing great.
A little more, a little more.
655
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:57,680
-The brake, the brake,
pull the brake!
-[Mo] Fuck!
656
00:41:58,817 --> 00:42:00,233
What happened?
657
00:42:00,234 --> 00:42:01,650
-What do you mean,
what happened?
-What'd I hit?
658
00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,820
-It's okay.
-[Mo] Fuck!
659
00:42:03,821 --> 00:42:05,988
-All right, guys,
it's now or never.
-[Mo] No, never.
660
00:42:05,991 --> 00:42:07,056
Mo?
661
00:42:09,961 --> 00:42:11,094
Give it some gas.
662
00:42:13,598 --> 00:42:17,901
They say that there's
like something going on
where their bed is making noise
663
00:42:17,903 --> 00:42:21,738
when they're not on the bed,
and so it sounds like they're
concerned
664
00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:25,108
about if there's some kind
of paranormal activity
or something like--
665
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:30,580
What the guy said happened was--
Totally, one second,
totally, totally.
666
00:42:30,582 --> 00:42:34,784
That he was sitting
on the toilet, and he saw
the sheets and the blanket
667
00:42:34,786 --> 00:42:38,721
fly off the bed
of their own volition
or whatever.
668
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:43,293
Look, are you able
to come down and talk
to them because if I tell him
669
00:42:43,295 --> 00:42:46,963
that that didn't happen,
I feel like I'm saying
that there's like something
670
00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:49,666
going on with his room that--
671
00:42:49,668 --> 00:42:54,604
I don't know if this guy
has a past in some way.
Do you know what I mean by that?
672
00:42:54,606 --> 00:42:55,872
-This is gonna work.
-Okay, I'm fucking driving.
673
00:42:55,874 --> 00:42:56,940
-You got this.
-Okay.
674
00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,708
-You got this!
-Shh!
675
00:42:59,044 --> 00:43:01,644
All right, Mo, you're coming
up at a light, okay?
676
00:43:01,646 --> 00:43:03,079
I need you to hit easy brake.
677
00:43:03,081 --> 00:43:05,715
-Easy brake, a little bit more.
-Harder.
678
00:43:05,717 --> 00:43:09,719
-Mo, a little harder.
-Mo, Mo. Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo--
679
00:43:09,721 --> 00:43:12,622
-[Matt] Stop!
-[screaming]
680
00:43:12,624 --> 00:43:14,240
[driver] What are you, blind?
681
00:43:14,241 --> 00:43:15,857
[Scotty] This may be the worst
idea I've ever had.
682
00:43:15,860 --> 00:43:19,095
Mo, when I tell you to stop,
I really need you to stop, okay?
683
00:43:19,097 --> 00:43:21,965
When I fucking tell you,
I can't drive a fucking van,
I can't drive a fucking van!
684
00:43:21,967 --> 00:43:23,967
-Okay, guys,
let's just chill out.
-We're gonna go to jail.
685
00:43:23,969 --> 00:43:26,102
[Scotty] We're not going
to jail. Just chill out.
686
00:43:27,038 --> 00:43:29,839
All right, listen.
Hang a right,
pull onto the highway.
687
00:43:29,841 --> 00:43:31,608
We gotta find somewhere
else to crash.
688
00:43:31,610 --> 00:43:32,775
-[Matt] Mo. Mo.
The fucking highway!
689
00:43:33,144 --> 00:43:36,179
Management! Open up!
[knocks on the door]
690
00:43:37,048 --> 00:43:40,216
[sex sound]
691
00:43:44,856 --> 00:43:45,888
No, they're not here.
692
00:43:46,891 --> 00:43:48,124
All their stuff is gone.
693
00:43:49,361 --> 00:43:50,727
What?
694
00:43:50,729 --> 00:43:53,162
No, no.
That's just the neighbors.
695
00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:57,968
How do you...
696
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:00,837
Looks like they got
the unlimited adult
content package.
697
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,071
I'll have to call you back.
698
00:44:03,708 --> 00:44:05,174
[sex sound]
699
00:44:10,415 --> 00:44:11,814
So many channels.
700
00:44:13,184 --> 00:44:14,751
[Scotty] Can someone
flip on my light?
701
00:44:15,387 --> 00:44:16,853
Kind of busy here, dude.
702
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:19,856
I can't navigate if I can't see.
703
00:44:20,392 --> 00:44:23,660
All right, Mo, remember ten
and two, what I told you?
704
00:44:23,962 --> 00:44:26,162
Yeah. Just like that,
just hold it steady.
705
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,131
You don't have
to hold it so tight.
706
00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:31,167
Just keep it steady,
keep it straight, okay?
Just breathe. You're okay.
707
00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:36,873
-How's that, MapQuest?
-MapQuest.
708
00:44:38,109 --> 00:44:39,842
I think I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
709
00:44:41,413 --> 00:44:42,679
Mo, Mo, go home!
710
00:44:42,681 --> 00:44:44,147
Mo, Mo, the brake!
Mo, the brake!
711
00:44:44,149 --> 00:44:47,717
[screaming]
712
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,699
[grunting]
713
00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,267
Fuck!
714
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,470
Is everyone okay?
715
00:45:07,472 --> 00:45:14,077
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
you guys. I can't move
my legs! [laughs]
716
00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:15,912
-Mo, you okay?
-I lost my glasses.
717
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:17,480
-It's right here,
it's right here.
-I lost my fucking glasses.
718
00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:19,782
It's right here.
It's around your neck,
it's around your neck.
719
00:45:19,784 --> 00:45:21,918
-Woo!
-[Matt] Grab it. You have it.
720
00:45:22,454 --> 00:45:24,120
You hurt? Are you hurt anywhere?
721
00:45:24,923 --> 00:45:26,723
I think I'm okay.
Where are we?
722
00:45:27,459 --> 00:45:29,025
I don't know.
We're not driving anymore.
723
00:45:29,027 --> 00:45:30,610
You can take your hands
off the wheel.
724
00:45:30,611 --> 00:45:32,194
I didn't wanna fucking drive!
I told you I didn't wanna
fucking drive!
725
00:45:32,197 --> 00:45:34,831
-Mo should always drive.
-It was an accident.
726
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:38,835
It was nobody's fault.
Mo can't drive. Got it.
727
00:45:38,837 --> 00:45:42,038
-Highlight of the trip so far.
-Scotty, don't, don't, just...
728
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:47,777
-Ow! That was my dick.
-Stop. Stop. Both of you.
729
00:45:48,813 --> 00:45:49,946
Quiet.
730
00:45:50,949 --> 00:45:52,014
I'm gonna try to flag
someone down.
731
00:45:57,222 --> 00:45:58,321
Or not.
732
00:45:59,824 --> 00:46:00,890
Scotty,
733
00:46:00,892 --> 00:46:05,027
remember when you said
we're not stranded
in the wilderness?
734
00:46:05,830 --> 00:46:07,764
Don't say shit
like that ever again.
735
00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:09,899
Where are we?
We're in the wilderness?
736
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:18,174
Act really cool. Just act cool.
737
00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:22,845
Whoa. You see that?
738
00:46:22,847 --> 00:46:24,313
He's got somewhere else to go.
739
00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:27,216
We're good.
740
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:32,121
Oh, shit.
741
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:34,557
-What?
-Oh, shit, oh, shit.
742
00:46:34,559 --> 00:46:35,925
Let me handle it, okay?
743
00:46:35,927 --> 00:46:36,959
Just let me handle it.
744
00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:38,127
Hello, officer.
745
00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:39,529
Oh, shit.
746
00:46:39,531 --> 00:46:41,898
-Is your vehicle
back there, the van?
-Yeah, it is.
747
00:46:44,068 --> 00:46:46,869
-Which one of you is driving?
-Sort of a team effort.
748
00:46:46,871 --> 00:46:49,172
-Yeah, I did the pedals.
-They-- They are kidding.
749
00:46:49,174 --> 00:46:52,175
Our driver bailed to get help.
That's why we're out here.
750
00:46:52,177 --> 00:46:53,843
Yeah.
751
00:46:55,046 --> 00:46:57,030
Everybody okay?
752
00:46:57,031 --> 00:46:59,015
Yeah, yeah, we swerved
to avoid a deer,
753
00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:01,851
so that's how we ended
up in a ditch.
754
00:47:01,853 --> 00:47:04,704
It was a deer.
755
00:47:04,705 --> 00:47:07,556
[clears throat]
227, I've got two
handicapped gentlemen.
756
00:47:07,559 --> 00:47:10,993
Sorry. Person
with disabilities, please.
757
00:47:13,298 --> 00:47:15,331
Two persons with disabilities
and a blind guy.
758
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:18,034
Um, excuse me,
it's visually impaired.
759
00:47:18,036 --> 00:47:19,135
Yup.
760
00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:21,270
Visually impaired gentleman.
761
00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:26,576
Um, gonna need
a tow truck and a van
equipped for the disabled--
762
00:47:26,578 --> 00:47:30,179
the, um, persons
with disabilities.
763
00:47:30,181 --> 00:47:31,380
[cop over the radio] Copy that.
764
00:47:36,921 --> 00:47:42,191
My cousin's brother-in-law has
Down Syndrome, so... I know.
765
00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:47,463
-You good?
-Yeah, we're good, thank you.
766
00:47:48,399 --> 00:47:50,399
-Not good.
-She sounds happy.
767
00:47:50,401 --> 00:47:52,068
She's not.
768
00:47:57,942 --> 00:48:00,209
Does somebody
wanna explain to me
769
00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:03,312
what in the entire
fuck my van
770
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:06,148
was doing in a ditch
on the side of the highway?
771
00:48:08,086 --> 00:48:12,021
Oh, my God. You fuckers.
This was a group decision.
772
00:48:12,023 --> 00:48:14,223
Our parents showed
up at the motel.
We had to bolt.
773
00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:17,226
-What are y'all keeping from me?
-We just told you.
Our parents were gonna squash
774
00:48:17,228 --> 00:48:19,128
the trip, and that's why-- yeah.
775
00:48:19,130 --> 00:48:22,431
Uh-huh! Bullshit, okay?
This is not adding up.
776
00:48:22,433 --> 00:48:26,302
I want all the cards
on the table right now
or we won't go anywhere.
777
00:48:26,304 --> 00:48:27,904
I'll stay right here.
778
00:48:28,406 --> 00:48:31,908
Shit. Mo, Mo.
779
00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:33,276
What? No, Matt,
you go talk to her.
780
00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:34,343
You talk to her.
781
00:48:34,345 --> 00:48:36,145
-She likes Mo.
-She's very scary.
782
00:48:36,147 --> 00:48:38,681
-Mo, just go make out with her.
-I don't care if she liked--
783
00:48:38,683 --> 00:48:41,083
Hey, hey, hey,
do not mention the brothel.
784
00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:43,953
Just don't mention the brothel.
Seriously, yeah.
785
00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:46,923
Was that a yes? Shit.
786
00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:50,092
He's gonna--
I give him 45 seconds
before he brings it up.
787
00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:59,402
-Sorry about the seat.
I had to move it.
-You drove?
788
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:03,472
Well, it's a long st--
789
00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:07,944
we were really worried
about you.
790
00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:11,080
Look, it's not
gonna happen again, if that's
what you're worried about.
791
00:49:11,082 --> 00:49:13,349
No, Sam, we were worried
about you.
792
00:49:15,186 --> 00:49:16,953
I'm just glad you're okay.
793
00:49:17,422 --> 00:49:19,388
It was scary, you know?
794
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:22,992
Look, it's, um.
795
00:49:24,429 --> 00:49:28,230
It's really awkward
to talk about.
796
00:49:30,969 --> 00:49:32,034
But you know,
797
00:49:33,104 --> 00:49:35,004
you don't get it.
Guys like us, we--
798
00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:38,341
we have a tough time
with women.
799
00:49:38,343 --> 00:49:42,178
It's not like we're insensitive
to the moral complications.
800
00:49:42,180 --> 00:49:45,281
By the way, I would never,
ever-- I would never take
advantage of anyone.
801
00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:50,052
It's just, it's not easy for us
with the opposite sex,
802
00:49:50,054 --> 00:49:53,522
and Scotty found a place
that, you know, caters
803
00:49:53,524 --> 00:49:57,193
to, you know, guys like us.
804
00:49:58,129 --> 00:50:02,431
Ah, you're going to get laid.
805
00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:07,169
Me, no. I would-- but we,
I mean, I would never--
806
00:50:07,171 --> 00:50:10,206
we are
as buddies on a field trip.
807
00:50:11,142 --> 00:50:13,576
We're just-- yeah.
808
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:19,482
Thank God.
I thought you guys had
a suicide pact or something.
809
00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:25,087
-Suicide pact? What?
-Or maybe you were
across-the-border drug mules.
810
00:50:25,089 --> 00:50:30,026
-I really don't know you, so...
-No! No, we're not drug mules.
811
00:50:31,396 --> 00:50:35,264
No, that's absurd.
No, we're just, uh, virgins.
812
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,268
Okay.
813
00:50:39,270 --> 00:50:42,405
She's coming back. I cannot--
I can't read her face.
814
00:50:46,044 --> 00:50:47,476
I'll let you know right now.
815
00:50:47,478 --> 00:50:51,047
If you want me in the room,
that's gonna be extra.
816
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:53,315
-What room?
-Yeah.
817
00:50:53,785 --> 00:50:56,485
-In the room with the hooker.
-[both] Mo!
818
00:50:56,487 --> 00:50:59,355
You had one thing
not to say, and you said it.
819
00:50:59,357 --> 00:51:01,257
She thought we had
a suicide pact.
820
00:51:01,259 --> 00:51:03,893
Why would we have
a suicide pact?
821
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:06,528
I have no idea,
but I see a lot of weird shit
on this job, okay?
822
00:51:06,531 --> 00:51:09,265
Does that mean we're good to go?
823
00:51:09,267 --> 00:51:11,200
Yeah, I'm not your mama.
824
00:51:11,202 --> 00:51:13,235
I'm not your mama,
I'm not your girlfriend,
825
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:15,438
and as long as you're a
hundred percent honest with me,
826
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,473
we're good.
Let's get in the van.
827
00:51:18,543 --> 00:51:20,509
-[Scotty] Mo.
-[Matt] Mo.
828
00:51:21,813 --> 00:51:24,080
[rapping]
829
00:51:29,153 --> 00:51:31,487
-What the hell?
-Dude, if we're gonna
listen to you,
830
00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:33,856
can we at least listen
to some of your stuff?
831
00:51:33,858 --> 00:51:35,975
Some Scotty B?
832
00:51:35,976 --> 00:51:38,093
Hey, you guys
know that Scotty has
a secret life as a rapper?
833
00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:39,562
-[Scotty] Dude, don't be douche.
-[Matt] I was rolling up
to his room,
834
00:51:39,564 --> 00:51:42,164
and I saw him in the middle
of spitting his game.
835
00:51:42,166 --> 00:51:44,500
-Oh, man, do you want me
to kick a beat for you?
-Yeah!
836
00:51:44,502 --> 00:51:46,869
-Want a fresh beat?
-[Mo] Wait, is that serious?
837
00:51:46,871 --> 00:51:48,370
-Holy shit!
-Let's do it, Scotty.
838
00:51:48,372 --> 00:51:50,139
-Come on, man!
-Sam, you're good at that.
839
00:51:50,141 --> 00:51:52,408
-Come on, Scotty.
-¶ My name is Scotty ¶
840
00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:54,643
¶ And I cannot rap
My name is Scotty ¶
841
00:51:54,645 --> 00:51:57,847
-Okay, I can't keep going.
-Fuck you guys.
842
00:51:57,849 --> 00:51:59,515
What, you can dish it,
but you can't take it?
843
00:52:07,358 --> 00:52:09,158
[Sam] Who's at home missing
you tonight?
844
00:52:10,194 --> 00:52:13,295
[Mo] Um, just my mom.
845
00:52:14,398 --> 00:52:17,199
Though I'll tell you
a little secret.
846
00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:20,336
I told her about this trip
the night before we left.
847
00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:22,138
How'd she take it?
848
00:52:23,207 --> 00:52:25,274
-She cried.
-Aw.
849
00:52:26,377 --> 00:52:30,412
Yeah, but then she actually
wanted me to go.
850
00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:35,618
She said she'd keep the secret.
851
00:52:37,421 --> 00:52:41,223
Sweet. Her 35-year-old baby is
about to lose his virginity.
852
00:52:42,927 --> 00:52:45,227
-Ha-ha.
-[laughing]
853
00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,263
What about you?
Who do you have at home?
854
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:49,732
No one, really. I, um,
855
00:52:50,902 --> 00:52:54,336
I used to be married,
but not anymore, thankfully.
856
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:58,207
-What happened?
-Oh, I shot him.
857
00:52:58,209 --> 00:53:00,276
-What?
-[Sam laughs]
858
00:53:00,278 --> 00:53:03,379
I shot him in the ass
with some insulin.
859
00:53:03,381 --> 00:53:04,914
-Wait, really?
-Yeah really.
860
00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:07,483
He was on top
of our neighbor at the time,
861
00:53:08,586 --> 00:53:09,718
so serves him right.
862
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:12,922
I mean, it was super fun
when I was doing it,
863
00:53:12,924 --> 00:53:18,694
but, uh, then I lost
my nursing license
for three years. And--
864
00:53:19,397 --> 00:53:20,796
So now I'm single.
865
00:53:25,403 --> 00:53:27,736
Can I ask you
a question? Uh--
866
00:53:29,273 --> 00:53:31,941
you know, this is
my first time doing this,
867
00:53:31,943 --> 00:53:34,610
and I was thinking
maybe since you're a nurse
that you could...
868
00:53:34,612 --> 00:53:37,413
Wait. Do you think
that just because I'm a nurse,
869
00:53:37,415 --> 00:53:41,283
-I can give you
like sex tips?
-Well, I mean, yeah.
870
00:53:41,285 --> 00:53:44,253
Okay, you are
clearly as confused
871
00:53:44,255 --> 00:53:47,356
about the concept
of nursing as you are
about the concept of sex.
872
00:53:49,694 --> 00:53:51,427
Okay, I mean, now I am, yeah.
873
00:53:52,763 --> 00:53:58,400
Okay, I'm sorry.
Just let biology take over.
874
00:53:58,970 --> 00:54:00,402
Don't plan anything.
875
00:54:06,444 --> 00:54:07,676
Where's that money?
876
00:54:08,512 --> 00:54:11,580
-Oh, uh, it's, um--
-Oh, right here.
877
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,782
-No, I got-- Oh, sorry.
-Sorry.
878
00:54:13,784 --> 00:54:16,318
-Oh, I see it.
-There it is.
879
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:17,620
Thank you.
880
00:54:18,356 --> 00:54:19,488
Nice tattoo.
881
00:54:21,459 --> 00:54:22,524
You felt that?
882
00:54:23,327 --> 00:54:26,729
Yeah, the ink,
it raises the skin.
883
00:54:26,731 --> 00:54:29,732
-Sorry, I didn't mean to.
-No, it's okay.
884
00:54:30,735 --> 00:54:32,368
Do you think I can, um,
885
00:54:34,538 --> 00:54:36,405
I bet if I touch it,
I could tell you.
886
00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:41,410
Like that's a branch--
no, I mean, uh--
887
00:54:42,413 --> 00:54:43,679
that's a small wing.
888
00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:45,881
Okay.
889
00:54:47,351 --> 00:54:48,751
Little bird?
890
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:51,787
Is that a goldfinch?
891
00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,890
-Wow.
-[honking]
892
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,560
-[honking]
-[driver] Move it!
893
00:54:58,562 --> 00:55:01,330
Ugh, sorry. [clears throat]
894
00:55:07,672 --> 00:55:10,472
¶ Straightjacket living
But I ain't no Houdini ¶
895
00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:13,075
¶ Born inside a cage
But nobody can free me ¶
896
00:55:13,077 --> 00:55:15,711
¶ Everybody looking
But don't nobody see me ¶
897
00:55:15,713 --> 00:55:19,548
¶ It's like God gave me
This body to tease me
Believe me ¶
898
00:55:19,550 --> 00:55:21,684
¶ Sometimes I wish
That I was just a head ¶
899
00:55:21,686 --> 00:55:24,420
¶ That maybe I would actually
Get ahead ¶
900
00:55:24,422 --> 00:55:26,855
¶ Instead
I'm fucking sitting here
Stuck in cement ¶
901
00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:29,792
¶ Like Christopher Reeve
Long after Clark Kent ¶
902
00:55:29,794 --> 00:55:32,594
¶ At least he got to fly
Play a man who was super ¶
903
00:55:32,596 --> 00:55:34,697
¶ I can't even take
An unassisted poop ¶
904
00:55:34,699 --> 00:55:37,599
¶ But fuck your pity
And fuck your stares ¶
905
00:55:37,601 --> 00:55:42,571
¶ And if you ain't got a ramp
Then fuck your stair--
Stairs ¶
906
00:55:44,075 --> 00:55:46,375
I think it's time
to call the police.
907
00:55:46,377 --> 00:55:48,744
They went on a trip, Roger.
They didn't get kidnapped.
908
00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:51,847
You know, Matt
wouldn't have done this,
unless he had a reason.
909
00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:53,816
[Roger] I'm at a loss.
910
00:55:57,722 --> 00:56:01,423
Hi. I'm trying to locate
my son, who may have used
your services to take a trip.
911
00:56:01,425 --> 00:56:03,625
Last name, Kwong,
also might be under Brandt.
912
00:56:04,428 --> 00:56:05,894
[music playing]
913
00:56:24,849 --> 00:56:28,617
¶ Hey, baby, open up
I'm standing'
Right at your door ¶
914
00:56:30,755 --> 00:56:34,623
¶ Hey, baby, open up
I'm standing'
Right at your door ¶
915
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:41,563
¶ I've been gone too long
And I miss you to the core ¶
916
00:56:43,467 --> 00:56:45,467
¶ I wanna hug
And kiss you, baby ¶
917
00:56:45,469 --> 00:56:47,536
¶ I wanna love you
all night long ¶
918
00:56:49,673 --> 00:56:51,573
¶ I'm gonna hug
And kiss you, baby ¶
919
00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:53,876
¶ Gonna love ya
All night long ¶
920
00:57:00,484 --> 00:57:02,618
-Hey, where you going?
-In for the kill.
921
00:57:02,620 --> 00:57:04,553
Nice. We'll be here.
922
00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:05,954
Cute girls?
923
00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:08,857
This place is
like a babe vortex.
924
00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:11,593
No wonder I wasn't
getting laid back home.
All the hotties were here.
925
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:14,463
Yeah, it's got nothing to do
with your rancid personality.
926
00:57:14,465 --> 00:57:16,565
Wait, hold up.
What about Sarah, man?
927
00:57:16,567 --> 00:57:18,901
From the clinic?
What about her?
928
00:57:18,903 --> 00:57:21,437
-She likes you, man.
-Get the fuck out of here.
929
00:57:21,439 --> 00:57:24,706
Fact, every time you
come in there, she starts
biting her fingernails.
930
00:57:24,708 --> 00:57:27,943
-How do you know that?
-Well, because, you know,
I pay attention, unlike you
931
00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:33,215
because you're too busy
always eye-groping Becky's,
you know, big...
932
00:57:33,217 --> 00:57:34,883
-You talking about titties?
-Yup.
933
00:57:34,885 --> 00:57:38,654
-Okay.
-First of all,
I don't eye-grope, okay?
934
00:57:38,656 --> 00:57:40,856
I happen to live at tit level.
935
00:57:40,858 --> 00:57:43,459
Everywhere I go,
all I see are tits, tits, tits.
936
00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:45,594
That's the personality
I was talking about.
937
00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:48,697
[Mo] What's going on?
Cute girls?
938
00:57:48,699 --> 00:57:50,833
-Oh.
-[Scotty] See what I mean?
939
00:57:50,835 --> 00:57:53,869
-Okay, I get it.
-If Sarah is so awesome,
why don't you just ask her out?
940
00:57:53,871 --> 00:57:55,704
No, man, not my type.
941
00:57:55,706 --> 00:57:58,607
-What is that, exactly?
-What is my--
942
00:57:58,609 --> 00:58:01,677
my type is like, uh, I like...
943
00:58:01,679 --> 00:58:05,514
-Hey, you guys ready
for another drink?
-Yes, absolutely.
944
00:58:05,516 --> 00:58:07,816
-Nah, I'm good.
-Mo, grow a scrotum.
945
00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:09,685
You're getting fucked up
with us tonight.
946
00:58:09,687 --> 00:58:11,687
All right, I'll have one
more vodka cran. That's it.
947
00:58:11,689 --> 00:58:14,756
-Whiskey. You got it.
-Here we go.
948
00:58:17,795 --> 00:58:20,529
-She's growing on me.
-Yeah, man, she's cool.
949
00:58:21,232 --> 00:58:25,033
It was a bachelorette party,
and most of them have
boyfriends.
950
00:58:25,035 --> 00:58:26,869
-Over there?
-Mm-hmm.
951
00:58:26,870 --> 00:58:28,704
-Aw.
-We can do better.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
952
00:58:28,706 --> 00:58:30,706
-I'll come with you.
-I'll hold the fort.
953
00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:35,744
Excuse me.
954
00:58:36,547 --> 00:58:37,746
I'm never going home.
955
00:58:39,717 --> 00:58:42,985
Hey, check it out.
I think the Special Olympics
are in town.
956
00:58:42,987 --> 00:58:45,087
What's that called,
the blind leading the cripple?
957
00:58:45,856 --> 00:58:47,923
Come one, come on!
958
00:58:57,768 --> 00:59:01,670
Hi, I'm trying to locate my son,
who might have used
your services to take a trip.
959
00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:03,906
Last name, Kwong,
also might be under Brandt.
960
00:59:07,545 --> 00:59:08,710
You do?
961
00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:10,546
[phone buzzing]
962
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:15,918
[man] What's up, baby girl?
I like a lady with some junk
in her trunk.
963
00:59:16,987 --> 00:59:21,023
-Blow me, asshole.
-That's a compliment, bitch.
964
00:59:21,025 --> 00:59:23,058
Look, who is you
calling a bitch?
965
00:59:23,060 --> 00:59:25,961
Yo, why don't you take
your girlfriend home
before I beat her ass?
966
00:59:25,963 --> 00:59:27,930
She's a feisty one too, huh?
I like that.
967
00:59:28,632 --> 00:59:31,733
Do you? Do you like that?
What are you doing?
968
00:59:32,770 --> 00:59:36,038
Oh, shit, seriously?
You're with Special Olympics?
969
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:40,642
You're gonna apologize to her
right now, or you will be sorry.
970
00:59:40,644 --> 00:59:43,078
Oh, this guy wants to fight me.
Oh, I love it.
971
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,748
You're lucky, bro.
You don't have to look at her.
She's a real two-bag special.
972
00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:48,317
-Fuck you.
-[man two] Forget him. Let's go.
973
00:59:48,319 --> 00:59:51,820
-No, man, she's coming around.
-Oh! Shit.
974
00:59:52,656 --> 00:59:53,855
-Oh, yeah?
-What are you--
975
00:59:53,857 --> 00:59:54,990
-[Mo] Did you just hit him?
-Bitch!
976
00:59:54,992 --> 00:59:58,660
We have to go.
Okay, we have to go. Matt!
977
00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:02,831
You just fucked up. Oh!
978
01:00:02,833 --> 01:00:06,001
Aah!
979
01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:08,036
[man] Jesus!
980
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,149
-[people cheering]
-Woo!
981
01:00:23,387 --> 01:00:25,921
-Like when I came
at that guy with my chair?
-Incredible.
982
01:00:25,923 --> 01:00:28,991
Can we not get cocky?
It was three on one, all right?
983
01:00:28,993 --> 01:00:33,695
Yeah, but we're a good team.
We're like the--
we're like the dynamic duo.
984
01:00:33,697 --> 01:00:37,933
-Yeah, we should go pro.
-We should go semi-pro at least.
985
01:00:40,104 --> 01:00:42,704
Hey, that looks
pretty fun up there.
986
01:00:42,706 --> 01:00:45,107
Mo, you got legs.
Show us what you got.
987
01:00:45,109 --> 01:00:47,409
-Oh, no, no, I don't dance.
-Come on!
988
01:00:47,411 --> 01:00:49,845
-I do not dance.
-You don't dance?
989
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:51,880
-No.
-Put your drink down.
990
01:00:51,882 --> 01:00:53,715
-No, no, I'm serious.
-[Scotty] Yes.
991
01:00:53,717 --> 01:00:56,151
-Okay.
-[Scotty] Oh, this is happening.
992
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:59,921
-[Mo] No, no, no
-[Scotty] Yes. Yes.
993
01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:05,827
Oh, this'll be a disaster.
Hey, hey, Matt, where you going?
994
01:01:06,730 --> 01:01:07,929
Don't leave me here, dude.
995
01:01:09,700 --> 01:01:10,766
Matt.
996
01:01:27,418 --> 01:01:28,684
Hey.
997
01:01:32,222 --> 01:01:33,922
Give me another shot.
998
01:01:41,899 --> 01:01:43,865
So are you guys like hanging
out here for a little bit,
999
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:45,834
-or are you...
-We're on our way to Montreal.
1000
01:01:46,136 --> 01:01:49,971
-Okay.
-Yeah, because there's
a great hiking trail there.
1001
01:01:52,142 --> 01:01:53,842
That was a joke.
1002
01:01:53,844 --> 01:01:56,812
-I got it, I got it.
-I'm glad you got it.
1003
01:01:58,916 --> 01:02:00,716
-[Scotty] Hey.
-[Mo] Hey.
1004
01:02:00,718 --> 01:02:02,250
Time to go, Romeo.
1005
01:02:02,252 --> 01:02:05,153
Hey, you guys go on ahead.
I think I'm gonna hang back.
1006
01:02:05,155 --> 01:02:08,790
-How you gonna get back
to the hotel?
-I'll figure it out.
1007
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:09,991
-[Sam] You sure?
-Yeah.
1008
01:02:09,993 --> 01:02:12,127
-[Mo] He's fine. Let's go.
-Be safe.
1009
01:02:13,931 --> 01:02:15,997
Have fun with your bachelorette.
1010
01:02:19,203 --> 01:02:21,937
-[phone ringing]
- Uh!
1011
01:02:30,781 --> 01:02:33,148
Hey, uh, sorry I missed
your call. What's up?
1012
01:02:38,489 --> 01:02:39,905
Yeah, they're with me. Why?
1013
01:02:39,906 --> 01:02:41,322
[girl] I love this city
in the summer. It gets so hot.
1014
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:44,292
-Cold as fuck during the winter.
-Yeah, exactly.
1015
01:02:44,294 --> 01:02:47,963
You know what one
of my favorite things
to do in the summer is?
1016
01:02:47,965 --> 01:02:51,066
-What?
-Swim in Lake Michigan.
1017
01:02:51,068 --> 01:02:53,902
-Wait, have you been
to the beach yet?
-No, no, I haven't.
1018
01:02:54,505 --> 01:02:56,505
Oh, so we should go?
1019
01:02:56,507 --> 01:02:59,274
-You mean like right now?
-Yeah.
1020
01:03:02,846 --> 01:03:06,548
What, you're serious?
I mean, are we even allowed
to be there at night?
1021
01:03:06,550 --> 01:03:07,916
No.
1022
01:03:09,219 --> 01:03:10,285
But...
1023
01:03:13,891 --> 01:03:16,925
It is the only time
that we can go skinny dipping.
1024
01:03:19,997 --> 01:03:21,096
Can you swim?
1025
01:03:23,834 --> 01:03:24,900
I got arms.
1026
01:03:31,909 --> 01:03:33,408
What do I do? What do I do?
1027
01:03:34,912 --> 01:03:37,412
-Aah!
-What do I need to do?
1028
01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:51,092
[Mo] Oh, my head feels
like a hurt factory.
1029
01:03:52,196 --> 01:03:55,931
Maybe because you dropped it
like a bunker bus around
that guy's face last night.
1030
01:03:56,266 --> 01:03:58,233
What was that thing
you made me drink?
1031
01:03:58,235 --> 01:03:59,968
It's called the Dirty Sanchez.
1032
01:04:00,571 --> 01:04:04,372
Bald Turkey whiskey
and 151 Bacardi,
a shot of espresso.
1033
01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:06,575
You did four.
1034
01:04:06,577 --> 01:04:08,310
-What?
-Mm-hmm.
1035
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,378
It vastly improved
your dance moves though.
1036
01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,318
Where's Scotty?
1037
01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:19,988
I think he had
a rough night, man.
1038
01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:21,890
What happened?
1039
01:04:21,892 --> 01:04:26,862
I don't know, man.
I think sometimes he hurts
more than we know.
1040
01:04:31,034 --> 01:04:32,267
Fuck's taking so long up here?
1041
01:04:36,139 --> 01:04:39,074
Hey, man, I heard you
had a rough night.
1042
01:04:40,077 --> 01:04:41,910
Listen, I know what it's like.
1043
01:04:41,912 --> 01:04:43,912
Got some pills here
if you want to take,
1044
01:04:43,914 --> 01:04:45,180
-take the edge off for you.
-What'd you say?
1045
01:04:45,182 --> 01:04:48,984
-I said I have a bunch
of pain pills that you can take.
-You know what it's like?
1046
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:52,954
Yeah, dude. You're
not the only one with problems.
1047
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:55,290
Really?
1048
01:04:55,292 --> 01:04:57,425
You think just
because you're in that chair
1049
01:05:00,030 --> 01:05:01,013
it makes us anything alike?
1050
01:05:01,014 --> 01:05:01,997
Come talk to me when you
can't take a shit by yourself.
1051
01:05:01,999 --> 01:05:05,000
Talk to me when you
spend a night crawling
out of your skin
1052
01:05:05,002 --> 01:05:07,168
because you can't move.
You know what it's like?
1053
01:05:07,671 --> 01:05:09,905
Try this on for size.
You don't know dick.
1054
01:05:10,674 --> 01:05:13,108
-[elevator bell dings]
-Ugh, finally.
1055
01:05:16,013 --> 01:05:19,447
[woman] Do you have any idea
how irresponsible you've been?
1056
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:21,316
Come on.
1057
01:05:21,318 --> 01:05:25,387
[Roger] Do you realize
I had to cancel
very important business calls?
1058
01:05:25,389 --> 01:05:27,689
[mother] How could you not tell
us that you were leaving?
1059
01:05:27,691 --> 01:05:31,226
We ditched our phones that's
why we weren't picking up.
1060
01:05:31,228 --> 01:05:33,929
We thought you were dead.
We were so scared.
1061
01:05:33,931 --> 01:05:36,264
Oh, my God, that's so dramatic,
so dramatic!
1062
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,066
I was so scared.
1063
01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:40,268
[indistinct shouting]
1064
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:42,003
[Scotty] We're not kids!
We're grown ass men!
1065
01:05:42,005 --> 01:05:43,672
If we wanna go
on a fucking trip,
we can go on a fucking trip!
1066
01:05:43,674 --> 01:05:45,407
-Scotty, calm down, man.
-No!
1067
01:05:45,408 --> 01:05:47,141
I've been putting up
with this bullshit
all my life, okay?
1068
01:05:47,144 --> 01:05:48,977
-Oh, Scott!
-Yeah.
1069
01:05:48,979 --> 01:05:52,247
It's been so hard for you.
So melodramatic? Oh, my God.
1070
01:05:52,249 --> 01:05:56,017
I'm melodramatic? I'm not
the one who chased their kid
all the way to fucking--
1071
01:05:56,019 --> 01:05:58,987
-That's enough, okay?
We're leaving.
-What do you mean?
1072
01:05:58,989 --> 01:06:00,689
-We've got a plane to catch.
-No.
1073
01:06:00,691 --> 01:06:05,727
-Matthew, this is not
up for discussion.
-Stop it! Stop!
1074
01:06:05,729 --> 01:06:07,963
-Come on, Matthew.
-We're going to a brothel.
1075
01:06:11,435 --> 01:06:13,435
What the fuck, Matt?
1076
01:06:13,437 --> 01:06:15,437
For the record,
this was not my idea.
1077
01:06:15,439 --> 01:06:18,974
These guys wanted
to lose their virginity,
and I, you know--
1078
01:06:18,976 --> 01:06:20,742
I thought we were going
on a fun field trip.
1079
01:06:20,744 --> 01:06:23,178
Stop calling it a field trip.
It's not a fucking field trip.
1080
01:06:23,180 --> 01:06:25,380
-What is it, the fifth grade?
-Oh, then what is it?
1081
01:06:25,382 --> 01:06:27,315
-It's a road trip!
-What's the difference?
1082
01:06:27,317 --> 01:06:29,484
-Twenty years!
-You know what?
I'm with Mo on this.
1083
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,720
Well, congratulations.
You ruined everything.
1084
01:06:31,722 --> 01:06:33,989
You ruined last night.
You're ruining this.
1085
01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:35,423
You're a selfish prick.
1086
01:06:35,425 --> 01:06:38,059
I'm a selfish fucking prick.
I'm a selfish fucking prick?
1087
01:06:38,061 --> 01:06:40,729
-I'm a selfish
fucking prick? Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
1088
01:06:40,731 --> 01:06:43,431
-I'm fucking selfish?!
Are you fucking kidding me?
-Fuck you!
1089
01:06:43,433 --> 01:06:45,266
-Stop, stop, stop!
-Come on! Come at me!
1090
01:06:45,268 --> 01:06:48,203
Fuck you, man!
You know what? You know what?
1091
01:06:48,205 --> 01:06:51,406
You two aren't virgins
because you two
are disabled, okay?
1092
01:06:51,408 --> 01:06:53,742
You're a fucking virgin
because you're a loser,
1093
01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:57,345
-and you're a fucking virgin
because you're an asshole!
-Matt!
1094
01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:17,432
I'm sorry.
1095
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,573
I didn't tell you
because I was ashamed.
1096
01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:30,078
But I'm not ashamed anymore.
1097
01:07:35,585 --> 01:07:37,385
And I'm not asking
for permission.
1098
01:07:45,062 --> 01:07:48,663
-I should-- I should know--
-Can I? Please, please stop.
Just--
1099
01:07:52,402 --> 01:07:54,335
For once don't talk, okay?
Just listen.
1100
01:08:02,813 --> 01:08:03,946
I'm 24 years old.
1101
01:08:03,947 --> 01:08:05,080
I need to know what sex
is gonna be like for me.
1102
01:08:06,349 --> 01:08:10,485
This guy told me
about a place up in Montreal--
1103
01:08:13,090 --> 01:08:14,556
that caters to people like us.
1104
01:08:18,095 --> 01:08:19,227
So that's where we're going.
1105
01:08:23,533 --> 01:08:24,632
Roger.
1106
01:08:28,171 --> 01:08:29,237
Uh--
1107
01:08:30,841 --> 01:08:32,107
Give us a minute.
1108
01:08:37,514 --> 01:08:41,282
-I'm sorry I didn't call.
-No, no, I should know.
I should know this about you.
1109
01:08:41,284 --> 01:08:44,319
I should know this.
Of course, you would wanna do
something like this.
1110
01:08:44,321 --> 01:08:46,221
-This is my fault.
-No, it's not your fault.
1111
01:08:46,223 --> 01:08:48,456
-It is, it is. It's not.
-No, listen to me, stop.
1112
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,325
-But no, but you--
-Stop beating yourself up.
1113
01:08:50,327 --> 01:08:52,260
-You need to trust me.
-Ma, I do trust you.
1114
01:08:52,262 --> 01:08:53,528
It's just,
"Mom, I want a hooker,"
1115
01:08:53,530 --> 01:08:55,663
is not the easiest conversation
to have.
1116
01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:58,399
-I understand.
-You know? It's a little--
1117
01:08:59,202 --> 01:09:00,401
It's dicey.
1118
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:07,542
[Scotty] I love you.
1119
01:09:09,146 --> 01:09:10,411
Sorry I didn't call.
1120
01:09:27,397 --> 01:09:29,597
I understand it's
morally ambiguous
1121
01:09:29,599 --> 01:09:32,233
and a little bit dangerous,
but we have
to let them do this.
1122
01:09:32,235 --> 01:09:34,903
-This is what young men do.
-A little bit dangerous?
No, listen to yourselves.
1123
01:09:34,905 --> 01:09:38,573
I am not signing off
on a trip to a whorehouse.
1124
01:09:38,575 --> 01:09:40,675
-Stop calling it that.
-That's what it is.
1125
01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:43,278
-Sex workers.
-They need to know
there's nothing wrong
1126
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:45,446
-with what they want.
-Yes.
1127
01:09:45,448 --> 01:09:46,481
You can't be serious.
1128
01:09:48,251 --> 01:09:51,686
Actually, I am.
So, get over your discomfort.
1129
01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,454
We are going to support
him in this,
1130
01:09:53,456 --> 01:09:55,356
and we are going to pay
for it too.
1131
01:09:55,659 --> 01:10:00,361
You listen to me.
This is not happening.
No, no, and no.
1132
01:10:05,368 --> 01:10:08,703
Y'all look pissed off,
but let me just say before you
get a attitude with me,
1133
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:10,572
that none of this
is actually my fault.
1134
01:10:10,574 --> 01:10:13,308
They were gonna report me
to my fucking nursing board.
1135
01:10:13,310 --> 01:10:16,411
Then it'd be over.
Two strikes
and I'd be done, okay?
1136
01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:19,214
And on top of that,
like I don't even
really do this,
1137
01:10:19,216 --> 01:10:22,383
like all these like long haul
like road trips or whatever.
1138
01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:23,618
-Sam.
-Like I don't really do that.
1139
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:26,654
I do short trips,
and I do in-home.
1140
01:10:26,656 --> 01:10:30,258
I get in, I get out,
I mind my goddamn business.
1141
01:10:30,260 --> 01:10:31,492
-[Matt] Sam.
-What?
1142
01:10:31,494 --> 01:10:33,394
Trip's back on. We can go.
1143
01:10:35,432 --> 01:10:36,631
Oh, okay, cool.
1144
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,644
Where are we going?
I thought the hotel
was downtown.
1145
01:11:22,646 --> 01:11:26,281
Actually, your parents
canceled your reservation
and gave you an upgrade.
1146
01:11:42,832 --> 01:11:45,300
Holy crap. You ever taken
a steam before?
1147
01:11:45,302 --> 01:11:48,770
-What? They got a sauna in here?
-Oh, dude, amazing.
1148
01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:51,506
Wow. They got
a Jacuzzi out back.
I say we hit that later too.
1149
01:11:51,508 --> 01:11:54,642
-Yes. Oh my God!
Talk about a workout, huh?
-Yeah.
1150
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:56,644
-This place is great.
-Where's the douche bag?
1151
01:11:57,514 --> 01:12:02,050
-Dude, by the way, I
was thinking about that.
-Ow! Look at this!
1152
01:12:02,052 --> 01:12:04,319
-Will you stop?
It's just a dress.
-What's going on?
1153
01:12:04,321 --> 01:12:06,754
-Sam is in a very nice
dinner dress.
-Ooh.
1154
01:12:06,756 --> 01:12:10,525
-So, when do you wanna go
to the Le Chateau Paradis?
-Tomorrow.
1155
01:12:10,527 --> 01:12:14,862
-Yeah, today's out for me, so--
-Yeah. I think tomorrow is good.
1156
01:12:14,864 --> 01:12:18,399
-How about just dinner
on the town tonight?
-Okay.
1157
01:12:19,436 --> 01:12:22,937
-Dinner tonight,
prostitution tomorrow.
-Okay.
1158
01:12:33,817 --> 01:12:35,650
Hello. No one's talking.
1159
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,354
I wouldn't know.
I'm just a loser.
1160
01:12:44,427 --> 01:12:45,560
Mo, I'm sorry I--
1161
01:12:46,696 --> 01:12:48,496
called you a loser,
I didn't mean it.
1162
01:12:49,899 --> 01:12:51,366
That's all right, man.
1163
01:12:51,735 --> 01:12:53,634
I'm sorry I threw
you under the bus.
1164
01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,571
I should have had your back,
back there.
1165
01:12:57,907 --> 01:12:58,973
I'm sorry.
1166
01:13:04,881 --> 01:13:07,749
Hey, where's my apology?
Hey, Matt.
1167
01:13:07,751 --> 01:13:09,550
-Dude, can you take it easy?
-No, no, no, no.
1168
01:13:09,552 --> 01:13:11,069
He got an apology.
I want one too.
1169
01:13:11,070 --> 01:13:12,587
You left me at a table
by myself in Chicago.
1170
01:13:12,589 --> 01:13:14,689
You called me an asshole
in front of my mother.
1171
01:13:14,691 --> 01:13:15,957
I mean, what the fuck is that?
1172
01:13:17,127 --> 01:13:18,559
I would love an apology.
1173
01:13:22,465 --> 01:13:23,531
I'm sorry.
1174
01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:25,666
That wasn't very genuine.
1175
01:13:26,169 --> 01:13:27,635
What are you sorry for, Biceps?
1176
01:13:27,637 --> 01:13:30,505
Where you going, huh?
1177
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:32,607
I said what are you sorry for?
1178
01:13:32,609 --> 01:13:33,841
-[Sam] Scotty.
-What?
1179
01:13:34,878 --> 01:13:35,977
He's dying.
1180
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:41,949
That's why he's been taking
all the pills, dude.
1181
01:13:41,951 --> 01:13:45,887
You would have noticed that
if you weren't too busy being
an asshole all the time.
1182
01:13:57,567 --> 01:13:58,633
Knock, knock.
1183
01:14:03,706 --> 01:14:05,706
[sighs] You're right,
I am an asshole.
1184
01:14:07,744 --> 01:14:08,810
Yeah.
1185
01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:15,783
It's part of your charm.
1186
01:14:26,729 --> 01:14:27,795
I, uh,
1187
01:14:31,935 --> 01:14:34,735
spend a lot of time feeling
like I was on the outside
of stuff.
1188
01:14:38,208 --> 01:14:39,474
It sucked.
1189
01:14:41,244 --> 01:14:44,479
Ever since we all started
hanging out, it--
1190
01:14:45,014 --> 01:14:47,782
I don't know,
it just feels different,
like I'm included.
1191
01:14:51,888 --> 01:14:53,488
When you bailed on us,
1192
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:56,591
it felt like I was back
on the outside.
1193
01:15:03,533 --> 01:15:04,599
I'm sorry.
1194
01:15:09,572 --> 01:15:10,638
Can I ask you a question?
1195
01:15:12,542 --> 01:15:13,641
Are we friends?
1196
01:15:18,615 --> 01:15:19,780
Of course, we're friends.
1197
01:15:28,558 --> 01:15:29,624
Hey.
1198
01:15:34,998 --> 01:15:36,063
Thank you.
1199
01:15:38,268 --> 01:15:39,534
For what?
1200
01:15:43,006 --> 01:15:44,071
For this.
1201
01:15:53,950 --> 01:15:59,720
-You wanna take my knight
with your bishop, G8 to D5.
-Oh, you are so annoying.
1202
01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:02,590
Why are you
even playing with me?
1203
01:16:02,592 --> 01:16:03,925
You're basically
playing yourself.
1204
01:16:03,927 --> 01:16:07,128
I don't know how you do--
and how did you...
1205
01:16:08,031 --> 01:16:10,598
Like how did you see
my tattoo earlier?
1206
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:17,905
I mean, you know, it's
something I just taught myself.
1207
01:16:18,875 --> 01:16:20,775
So, growing up,
1208
01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:23,644
I walked myself
to and from school,
1209
01:16:23,646 --> 01:16:24,946
and there were these
walls with these murals,
1210
01:16:24,948 --> 01:16:26,614
and I really wanted
to see them.
1211
01:16:27,116 --> 01:16:28,149
So, uh...
1212
01:16:29,586 --> 01:16:32,119
yeah, that was
how I figured it out.
1213
01:16:34,324 --> 01:16:38,626
-Well, it's a cool party trick.
-Yeah, I didn't go
to many parties growing up.
1214
01:16:43,066 --> 01:16:45,800
Do you wanna finish
reading my tattoo?
1215
01:16:48,805 --> 01:16:50,738
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
1216
01:16:51,341 --> 01:16:52,673
Okay, I'm gonna...
1217
01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:57,078
-I'll just get a little close
to you, if that's okay.
-Okay.
1218
01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:58,879
-Yeah, just gonna...
-Okay.
1219
01:17:05,622 --> 01:17:07,855
Okay, so that's the bird,
1220
01:17:07,857 --> 01:17:09,957
the goldfinch, which...
1221
01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:14,061
usually represents sacrifice
or rebirth.
1222
01:17:14,831 --> 01:17:17,999
And the raising up
of a person over their sick bed.
1223
01:17:19,135 --> 01:17:21,636
Then what do
these branches mean?
1224
01:17:22,639 --> 01:17:26,641
White heather.
They represent protection
and luck.
1225
01:17:32,682 --> 01:17:33,848
You have really soft skin.
1226
01:17:34,751 --> 01:17:36,183
That's because I'm black.
1227
01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:38,886
Hold up.
1228
01:17:39,656 --> 01:17:40,721
You're black?
1229
01:17:48,431 --> 01:17:51,198
Guys, I gotta--
I gotta ask you guys something.
1230
01:17:52,402 --> 01:17:56,037
-What's up?
-It's kind of awkward, so don't
make fun of me, all right?
1231
01:17:56,039 --> 01:17:58,406
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, what's up?
1232
01:17:58,408 --> 01:18:00,941
-I need one of you
to shave my dick.
-Fuck no. No dude.
1233
01:18:00,943 --> 01:18:03,210
-It's hard for me to even ask.
-Yeah, I would hope so.
1234
01:18:03,212 --> 01:18:05,713
-No, uh-uh.
-I mean, yeah.
Mo, you should do it.
1235
01:18:05,715 --> 01:18:07,715
-What?
-Yeah, you won't be scarred
by the visual.
1236
01:18:15,925 --> 01:18:16,991
Just in case.
1237
01:18:24,167 --> 01:18:26,233
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1238
01:18:27,103 --> 01:18:29,036
You're like Redfoo upside-down.
1239
01:18:29,772 --> 01:18:31,906
-Why am I here again?
-I just need you for
moral support.
1240
01:18:31,908 --> 01:18:34,942
Plus, I've never seen anybody
with pubic hair extensions.
1241
01:18:34,944 --> 01:18:37,011
You can be a jerk about this,
or you can just get it done.
1242
01:18:37,714 --> 01:18:39,113
-Might as well.
-Right?
1243
01:18:43,953 --> 01:18:46,887
-Thanks again for doing this.
Really appreciate it.
-[Matt sighs]
1244
01:18:46,889 --> 01:18:49,790
-[machine buzzing]
-[Scotty] Uhm.
1245
01:18:53,196 --> 01:18:54,295
Ooh, breezy.
1246
01:18:58,501 --> 01:18:59,867
Hey there.
1247
01:19:59,562 --> 01:20:00,995
[Sam] Looking good, fellas.
1248
01:21:30,953 --> 01:21:34,121
- Bonjour. Welcome.
-[all] Hello.
1249
01:21:35,191 --> 01:21:36,891
Right this way, gentlemen.
1250
01:22:03,386 --> 01:22:05,153
Wow.
1251
01:22:05,154 --> 01:22:06,921
-Drinks?
-Bourbon. Make it a double.
1252
01:22:07,356 --> 01:22:09,456
-Same.
-Water is fine.
1253
01:22:13,229 --> 01:22:14,962
[whispers]
1254
01:22:22,371 --> 01:22:26,006
[whispers]
1255
01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:00,007
What's your name?
1256
01:23:01,077 --> 01:23:03,077
Scotty. What's yours?
1257
01:23:03,512 --> 01:23:04,578
Chantal.
1258
01:23:06,215 --> 01:23:07,982
Nice to meet you.
1259
01:23:09,719 --> 01:23:10,985
Come.
1260
01:23:30,473 --> 01:23:31,538
You're very beautiful.
1261
01:23:34,143 --> 01:23:35,209
Thank you.
1262
01:23:41,217 --> 01:23:42,549
You want to, uh...
1263
01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:46,420
No. I mean, yeah.
1264
01:23:46,422 --> 01:23:50,424
No, just, uh-- not just yet.
1265
01:23:54,497 --> 01:23:55,562
Wanna help me with that drink?
1266
01:23:56,565 --> 01:23:58,298
Oui. Relax.
1267
01:24:09,111 --> 01:24:10,310
Could use another one of those.
1268
01:24:28,264 --> 01:24:30,197
Mo. Mo.
1269
01:24:33,402 --> 01:24:35,602
[Scotty]
Hey. Mo, what the fuck?
1270
01:24:35,604 --> 01:24:38,338
Dude, I'm sorry, Scotty,
I can't do it, okay?
1271
01:24:38,340 --> 01:24:41,141
You came 2,000 miles
to not have sex with one
of these beautiful women?
1272
01:24:41,143 --> 01:24:42,810
-Mo, they're throwing
themselves at us.
-That's exactly what's wrong
1273
01:24:42,812 --> 01:24:45,579
with this place.
It is not real, okay?
1274
01:24:48,451 --> 01:24:50,284
Look, I'm happy for you.
1275
01:24:50,286 --> 01:24:53,187
It's gonna be great, and I'm
sure it's amazing, but for me,
1276
01:24:53,189 --> 01:24:56,523
I just-- I just can't, man.
It just...
1277
01:24:57,526 --> 01:25:02,229
I think I just need
my first time
to be with someone special.
1278
01:25:02,231 --> 01:25:03,297
Yeah, I want that too.
1279
01:25:05,634 --> 01:25:07,301
But that's not gonna
happen for me.
1280
01:25:08,170 --> 01:25:10,504
I know that.
I've made my peace with it.
1281
01:25:13,142 --> 01:25:16,410
-Hope you don't judge me for it.
-Never, never. I...
1282
01:25:24,854 --> 01:25:26,120
Go get her, buddy.
1283
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:31,725
You too.
1284
01:26:49,305 --> 01:26:50,704
Sam, you know, I just...
1285
01:26:52,608 --> 01:26:56,276
We've known each other
for four days.
Four days, eight states.
1286
01:26:56,278 --> 01:26:58,512
Is it eight states?
Eight states.
1287
01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,681
We've known each other
for four days and eight states.
1288
01:27:00,683 --> 01:27:02,616
I'd like to know you
for more days.
1289
01:27:03,719 --> 01:27:08,455
All the days,
because, you know, I
really like-- that's stupid.
1290
01:27:10,259 --> 01:27:13,560
The-- Sam, the road
1291
01:27:14,296 --> 01:27:17,364
to Le Chateau Paradis,
it's so bumpy.
1292
01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:23,403
Sam?
1293
01:27:23,772 --> 01:27:25,239
It's got eight.
1294
01:27:48,764 --> 01:27:50,530
I'm gonna need
a little help getting over.
1295
01:27:52,434 --> 01:27:53,500
I'll get someone.
1296
01:28:04,680 --> 01:28:05,812
Does it bother you?
1297
01:28:07,516 --> 01:28:08,582
The chair?
1298
01:28:09,818 --> 01:28:11,685
My brother has.
1299
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:14,755
Your brother's in a wheelchair?
1300
01:28:17,593 --> 01:28:20,560
It means I understand.
1301
01:28:45,721 --> 01:28:46,787
Wait, wait.
1302
01:28:48,857 --> 01:28:50,857
I'm sorry, can you just, um...
1303
01:28:52,528 --> 01:28:55,395
tell me something about you?
1304
01:28:55,397 --> 01:28:59,733
-Uh, y-you want me to...
-Tell me something.
Just anything.
1305
01:29:00,402 --> 01:29:01,468
Like, uh,
1306
01:29:03,339 --> 01:29:04,538
what kind of music do you like.
1307
01:29:05,607 --> 01:29:06,840
You know Garou?
1308
01:29:07,576 --> 01:29:09,943
-Ga--
-Ga-Garou, no?
1309
01:29:11,647 --> 01:29:14,348
It's okay. Just forget it.
That was stupid.
1310
01:29:20,422 --> 01:29:24,391
¶ Happy birthday to you ¶
1311
01:29:27,763 --> 01:29:31,531
¶ Happy birthday to you ¶
1312
01:29:33,102 --> 01:29:37,738
¶ Happy birthday
Dear Scotty ¶
1313
01:29:40,743 --> 01:29:42,909
¶ Happy birthday ¶
1314
01:29:44,613 --> 01:29:45,679
¶ To ¶
1315
01:29:46,782 --> 01:29:47,848
¶ You ¶
1316
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:46,573
To the new couple.
1317
01:30:47,443 --> 01:30:48,809
-Ew, don't.
-Stop it.
1318
01:30:48,811 --> 01:30:50,744
And the brothel
that brought them together.
1319
01:30:50,746 --> 01:30:54,448
-Easy.
-Just chill out.
We're just having fun.
1320
01:30:54,850 --> 01:30:56,016
I have a question.
1321
01:30:57,586 --> 01:31:00,854
Forget any disabilities.
1322
01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:04,524
Forget anything
that might be holding you back.
1323
01:31:06,962 --> 01:31:08,762
What would you wanna
do with your life?
1324
01:31:10,699 --> 01:31:11,765
Anyone?
1325
01:31:19,608 --> 01:31:21,508
Before my surgery,
I was a boxer.
1326
01:31:24,012 --> 01:31:25,912
Really wanted to turn pro.
1327
01:31:30,552 --> 01:31:32,786
But as long as I get
to retire by the beach,
1328
01:31:34,256 --> 01:31:35,522
I'm good.
1329
01:31:40,963 --> 01:31:42,028
Mo?
1330
01:31:43,899 --> 01:31:45,599
Uhm--
1331
01:31:48,737 --> 01:31:51,771
Honestly, I
just always wanted to be a dad.
1332
01:31:52,241 --> 01:31:54,841
Though I will say, I do,
when I have kids, I want to...
1333
01:31:55,711 --> 01:32:01,515
like coach them in baseball,
and then we'd like move up
together, like...
1334
01:32:02,584 --> 01:32:05,919
in Little League and then
maybe like middle school,
high school, I don't know.
1335
01:32:06,989 --> 01:32:08,922
Maybe we'll all go pro together.
1336
01:32:12,928 --> 01:32:14,027
Scotty?
1337
01:32:14,796 --> 01:32:17,731
[sighs] I don't know. Skip me.
1338
01:32:17,733 --> 01:32:19,666
-What? No.
-[Sam] We're not skipping you.
1339
01:32:19,668 --> 01:32:21,735
-No, I don't wanna say.
-Come on.
1340
01:32:21,737 --> 01:32:23,270
-[Sam] We're all going.
-[Mo] It's not fair.
1341
01:32:23,272 --> 01:32:24,838
You can't do that.
We're not gonna make fun of you.
1342
01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:26,806
-[Mo] We wanna know.
-[Sam] Yeah, no.
1343
01:32:26,808 --> 01:32:28,675
Sam, how about you?
1344
01:32:33,882 --> 01:32:36,850
Well, I always wanted
to be an artist.
1345
01:32:37,786 --> 01:32:40,887
But I didn't think it was
a very realistic path,
1346
01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:43,657
so I went to nursing school,
1347
01:32:44,326 --> 01:32:49,095
which turned out
to be perfect because I...
1348
01:32:50,899 --> 01:32:54,834
I really love feeling needed.
1349
01:32:57,906 --> 01:32:58,972
So...
1350
01:32:58,974 --> 01:33:05,912
I am exactly where I wanna be
at this very second.
1351
01:33:06,915 --> 01:33:09,749
[sex sounds]
1352
01:33:11,053 --> 01:33:12,586
You feel any different?
1353
01:33:17,059 --> 01:33:18,592
Not really. You?
1354
01:33:21,630 --> 01:33:23,730
I thought it was gonna be
this monumental shift.
1355
01:33:24,099 --> 01:33:25,699
Yeah, me too.
1356
01:33:30,939 --> 01:33:32,772
Feel a little empty, actually.
1357
01:33:33,141 --> 01:33:37,010
Like the whole thing made me
want something...
1358
01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:42,949
more, something that doesn't
just end abruptly.
1359
01:33:48,690 --> 01:33:49,889
I hope you find that person.
1360
01:33:55,697 --> 01:33:57,764
Hey, can you promise me
something when we head back?
1361
01:33:58,800 --> 01:34:01,635
I just want you to find
a stage, get on it,
1362
01:34:02,371 --> 01:34:05,872
grab a mic,
you wreck it, just once.
1363
01:34:05,874 --> 01:34:08,942
No, man.
Dude, when you look like I do,
1364
01:34:08,944 --> 01:34:10,777
you want less eyes on you,
not more.
1365
01:34:11,146 --> 01:34:14,180
-Besides I would suck.
-Well, what are they
gonna say to you?
1366
01:34:15,984 --> 01:34:17,117
They're not gonna boo you.
1367
01:34:18,153 --> 01:34:19,252
You're in a chair.
1368
01:34:25,060 --> 01:34:26,009
One condition.
1369
01:34:26,010 --> 01:34:26,959
You gotta be up
on that stage with me.
1370
01:34:30,999 --> 01:34:32,065
Mm-hmm.
1371
01:34:33,402 --> 01:34:34,668
Deal.
1372
01:34:56,892 --> 01:34:57,957
Matt?
1373
01:35:18,947 --> 01:35:20,113
Matt?
1374
01:35:34,262 --> 01:35:35,328
Matt.
1375
01:35:41,970 --> 01:35:43,036
Matt!
1376
01:35:59,521 --> 01:36:01,254
Matt!
1377
01:36:32,254 --> 01:36:39,125
I'll miss you for teaching me
math, but I won't miss you
for hogging the bathroom.
1378
01:36:41,229 --> 01:36:44,197
I'm so happy
that you were my big brother,
1379
01:36:44,199 --> 01:36:47,200
and I'll miss you
forever and ever.
1380
01:36:52,007 --> 01:36:56,009
The family wanted to have
an opportunity for anyone
not on the program
1381
01:36:56,011 --> 01:36:58,878
who may feel called
to share a few words.
1382
01:37:01,082 --> 01:37:04,284
-Okay, let's move on to--
-[Scotty] We do.
1383
01:37:43,892 --> 01:37:46,960
Down a little bit.
Less. Yeah, right there.
1384
01:37:47,863 --> 01:37:51,631
Left, left.
That's-- Whatever.
1385
01:37:51,633 --> 01:37:53,399
Uh, so I'm Scotty,
1386
01:37:54,302 --> 01:37:56,002
and I'm here because...
1387
01:37:56,638 --> 01:37:59,138
I promised Matt
that I'd do something, and...
1388
01:37:59,140 --> 01:38:02,008
I don't want him
coming back to haunt my ass
because I blew it off.
1389
01:38:03,078 --> 01:38:06,246
My only condition was
that he be up here
with me when I do this.
1390
01:38:08,283 --> 01:38:10,149
Guess it's now or never,
home slice.
1391
01:38:11,152 --> 01:38:12,218
Hit it.
1392
01:38:14,089 --> 01:38:17,123
[music playing]
1393
01:38:20,161 --> 01:38:22,262
Clap your hands everybody.
1394
01:38:23,331 --> 01:38:25,231
We're here to celebrate a life.
1395
01:38:26,401 --> 01:38:27,467
I tried.
1396
01:38:31,106 --> 01:38:33,406
¶ Coming to you live
This is Scotty
In the steeple ¶
1397
01:38:33,408 --> 01:38:36,309
¶ Here to rap a eulogy
To all you lovely people ¶
1398
01:38:36,311 --> 01:38:39,212
¶ Stand up if you can
While I stay seated ¶
1399
01:38:39,214 --> 01:38:42,148
¶ This ain't a party for pity
That shit is unneeded ¶
1400
01:38:42,150 --> 01:38:44,984
¶ It's a celebration
Of this guy right here ¶
1401
01:38:44,986 --> 01:38:47,987
¶ who taught me
Not to be a pussy
And overcome my fears ¶
1402
01:38:47,989 --> 01:38:50,456
¶ I'm a glass half-empty
But I can still be full ¶
1403
01:38:50,458 --> 01:38:53,693
¶ And I don't need my limbs
To bare my soul ¶
1404
01:38:53,695 --> 01:38:56,362
¶ So, wipe away your tears
And hear my story ¶
1405
01:38:56,364 --> 01:38:59,198
¶ About three horny cripples
On a quest for glory ¶
1406
01:38:59,200 --> 01:39:02,168
¶ Matt was hesitant at first
When I told him the plan ¶
1407
01:39:02,170 --> 01:39:05,138
¶ Hightail it to a whorehouse
In a Handi-Van ¶
1408
01:39:05,140 --> 01:39:08,007
¶ This particular brothel sat
North of the border ¶
1409
01:39:08,009 --> 01:39:10,710
¶ Which for these three dudes
Was a pretty tall order ¶
1410
01:39:10,712 --> 01:39:13,413
¶ But he came onboard
And we were road tripping ¶
1411
01:39:13,415 --> 01:39:16,349
¶ Gotta find some better ladies
Cause these hos tripping ¶
1412
01:39:16,351 --> 01:39:19,419
¶ We were unstable, disabled
And tired of the diss labels ¶
1413
01:39:19,421 --> 01:39:22,388
¶ It was our turn
To turn tables and prove
We weren't unable ¶
1414
01:39:22,390 --> 01:39:26,326
¶ To get it up and get it in
I'm not sorry, Father
For I have sinned ¶
1415
01:39:27,295 --> 01:39:30,163
¶ So, what, we can't walk
So, what, we can't see ¶
1416
01:39:30,165 --> 01:39:32,999
¶ We just getting off
Like human beings ¶
1417
01:39:33,001 --> 01:39:36,102
¶ And it's not our fault
It's not how we asked to be ¶
1418
01:39:36,104 --> 01:39:39,038
¶ We gonna find some dignity ¶
1419
01:39:39,040 --> 01:39:41,307
¶ So, what, we can't walk
So, what, we can't see ¶
1420
01:39:41,309 --> 01:39:44,277
¶ We just getting off
Like human beings ¶
1421
01:39:44,279 --> 01:39:47,413
¶ And it's not our fault
It's not how we asked to be ¶
1422
01:39:47,415 --> 01:39:51,050
¶ We gonna find some dignity
Find some dignity ¶
1423
01:39:51,052 --> 01:39:53,753
¶ I gotta say
It's kind of odd ¶
1424
01:39:53,755 --> 01:39:56,122
¶ To find myself preaching
In a house of God ¶
1425
01:39:56,124 --> 01:39:59,258
¶ What?
After all it was He
Who put me in this chair ¶
1426
01:39:59,260 --> 01:40:02,261
¶ With no means to escape
Or avoid the stares ¶
1427
01:40:02,263 --> 01:40:05,198
¶ Then Biceps came along
Taught me to power through ¶
1428
01:40:05,200 --> 01:40:08,101
¶ To go with my flow
And just do what I do ¶
1429
01:40:08,103 --> 01:40:11,237
¶ To not let
The wheels beneath me
Hold the wheels in my mind ¶
1430
01:40:11,239 --> 01:40:14,207
¶ And now my engine is revving
¶ And my pistons are firing
1431
01:40:14,209 --> 01:40:17,210
¶ And my brain is awake
And my gear is in drive ¶
1432
01:40:17,212 --> 01:40:21,047
¶ Thanks to my friend Matt
I'm finally alive ¶
1433
01:40:21,049 --> 01:40:24,417
¶ Ooh ¶
1434
01:40:24,419 --> 01:40:27,186
¶ So, this one's for Matt
He made me see ¶
1435
01:40:27,188 --> 01:40:30,189
¶ In spite of this chair
I can still be free ¶
1436
01:40:30,191 --> 01:40:33,359
¶ And he may have passed on
But he's still a part of me ¶
1437
01:40:33,361 --> 01:40:35,528
¶ Bye for now
And rest in peace ¶
1438
01:40:35,530 --> 01:40:38,564
¶ Everybody
So, what, we can't walk
So, what, we can't see ¶
1439
01:40:38,566 --> 01:40:41,334
¶ We just getting off
Like human beings ¶
1440
01:40:41,336 --> 01:40:44,270
¶ And it's not our fault
It's not how we asked to be ¶
1441
01:40:44,272 --> 01:40:48,808
¶ We gonna find some dignity
Find some dignity ¶
1442
01:40:48,810 --> 01:40:50,143
¶ Peace out, bitches ¶
1443
01:40:50,145 --> 01:40:52,178
¶ Dignity ¶
1444
01:40:54,182 --> 01:40:55,765
[Scotty] Uh, drop the mic, Mo.
1445
01:40:55,766 --> 01:40:57,349
No, drop it. Mo, drop the mic,
it's gangster.
1446
01:40:57,352 --> 01:40:58,484
Yeah, yeah.
1447
01:41:19,841 --> 01:41:21,174
[Sarah] Hey, Scotty.
1448
01:41:25,346 --> 01:41:27,480
I'm really sorry
to hear about Matt.
1449
01:41:28,216 --> 01:41:29,482
That's so awful.
1450
01:41:29,484 --> 01:41:32,351
I mean, I didn't really even
know that he was sick.
1451
01:41:33,288 --> 01:41:34,353
Thanks.
1452
01:41:38,126 --> 01:41:40,426
Other than that,
the trip was pretty awesome.
1453
01:41:40,428 --> 01:41:42,195
You know what they say:
It ain't a real bro's trip
1454
01:41:42,197 --> 01:41:44,163
unless somebody comes back
in a body bag.
1455
01:41:46,868 --> 01:41:49,302
-It's a thing.
-Oh, no, I've heard that.
1456
01:41:49,304 --> 01:41:50,403
Yeah.
1457
01:41:51,106 --> 01:41:55,308
[inaudible] Keep going.
Keep going.
1458
01:41:59,848 --> 01:42:01,414
Hey, so, um,
1459
01:42:01,416 --> 01:42:07,520
I was gonna check out
this rapper over
at the Bluebird on Friday night,
1460
01:42:08,590 --> 01:42:10,690
if you wanted to come with.
1461
01:42:12,193 --> 01:42:14,894
Or not.
It's no biggie either way.
1462
01:42:14,895 --> 01:42:17,596
I actually can't
on Friday night.
I'm so sorry. I have a thing.
1463
01:42:23,605 --> 01:42:24,637
Oh.
1464
01:42:24,638 --> 01:42:25,670
But, Scotty,
what about Saturday night?
1465
01:42:26,908 --> 01:42:28,274
Maybe just like dinner.
1466
01:42:29,210 --> 01:42:30,276
Dinner.
1467
01:42:30,912 --> 01:42:32,211
Like a date.
1468
01:42:32,213 --> 01:42:33,546
Yeah, like a date.
1469
01:42:36,518 --> 01:42:37,550
Okay.
1470
01:42:41,489 --> 01:42:42,588
Cool.
1471
01:43:00,508 --> 01:43:04,710
And they were going on
a trip to get-- Asta,
well, how shall we put it?
1472
01:43:04,712 --> 01:43:07,947
Prostitutes. Asta,
so what was the trip about?
1473
01:43:07,949 --> 01:43:12,485
The road trip was about me
experiencing
1474
01:43:12,487 --> 01:43:15,321
what the sexual
side was in Holland.
1475
01:43:15,323 --> 01:43:20,660
And obviously
the government helped people
with disabilities out there
1476
01:43:20,662 --> 01:43:23,663
to have a sexual experience.
I was like, "Wow, I've gotta
go see this."
1477
01:43:23,665 --> 01:43:26,199
And was that the first time you
had had sexual relations?
1478
01:43:26,201 --> 01:43:29,702
Absolutely, yeah.
So, for me it was
just completely mind blowing.
1479
01:43:29,704 --> 01:43:32,505
And you were like,
"Oh, this is what people
have been talking about?
1480
01:43:32,506 --> 01:43:35,307
-Okay, I can get behind this."
-The parents or caregivers
don't even realize
1481
01:43:35,310 --> 01:43:37,577
that they have a need
for sexual experience
1482
01:43:37,579 --> 01:43:40,279
and that's what I want
to help with.
When you are in a situation
1483
01:43:40,281 --> 01:43:44,383
where you're in a wheelchair
and you're getting judged
every day from society,
1484
01:43:44,385 --> 01:43:49,488
then it's hard for--
I don't see how someone
who hasn't even been
1485
01:43:49,490 --> 01:43:51,524
in that arena,
could come up to me and say,
1486
01:43:51,526 --> 01:43:54,227
"Well, why don't you just go
out and get your own
girlfriend, man?"
1487
01:43:54,229 --> 01:43:57,430
-It's just like--
-Easy to say, yeah.
Kiss my ass, you know.
1488
01:43:57,432 --> 01:44:00,433
Somebody says,
"Oh, no, no. You're not allowed
to have that kind of fun."
1489
01:44:00,435 --> 01:44:03,603
Okay, and I have a few words
for them, "Piss off!"